My Serenity

WARNING: Rated M for some violence, language, and sexual situations. This fic contains (eventual) femmeslash and sexual situations between two female characters. Do not continue if this is not to your liking.

xxx

Chapter 27 – How Right This Feels

The next day, Jane awoke slowly. She didn't remember falling asleep, nor did she recall any dreams. Her whole body ached, and she felt weak. She was in a strange room, sitting on a hospital bed.

She suddenly sat up. "No!" She screamed, trying to pull the I.V. from her arm.

"Jane!" Maura said, grasping her hands quickly, "You're safe. You're on the Serenity. In the infirmary."

Jane's soaring heartrate started to slow as she looked into Maura's eyes. "Safe?" Jane said, trying to control her breathing.

Maura squeezed her hand, sitting down in the chair next to her bed. "Yes."

Sitting back, Jane started to breathe more calmly. She looked around the room. Unlike the room she had expected, this one was cluttered. There were cabinets lining the walls, filled with medical supplies and equipment. There were two beds, the one she was laying in and one folded up in the corner. There was a mess on the counter to her right. Bandages, syringes, and cloths were strewn around the sink.

She looked at Maura, whose eyes were closed, and her head bent. Jane could tell she was trying not to drift off.

"That chair isn't really made for lounging." Jane said softly. "Doesn't it belong in the canteen?"

Maura opened her eyes sleepily, "I'm fine."

"I seem to remember you not being able to lie." Jane smiled, "Did that change?"

Maura smiled back, "No. I'm just fine … relative to you."

"God, I feel like I got run over by a train." Jane groaned.

Maura stood, checking Jane's I.V. "You would certainly not have survived that."

Jane grabbed Maura's hand, smiling, "Little Miss Literal."

The honey blond grinned back, "I thought you liked when I do that?"

"What gave you that idea?" Jane laughed.

"The way you smirk at me."

"I do not smirk."

"You do. And in the right context your pupils dilate."

"What does that mean, huh?"

"It's generally a sign of sexual arousal."

Jane blushed, a vivid memory coming to her. Her arms around Maura, her hands around Maura's stomach. The smell of her perfume and her hair. She looked up into Maura's beautiful green eyes in wonder. How could someone so beautiful look at her that way? As if she was the most precious thing in the Verse.

"Am I interrupting something?" Korsak said, knocking on the door.

"Korsak!" Jane said joyfully.

He looked shocked.

"You remember him?" Maura said excitedly.

"Why wouldn't I remember him?" Jane laughed. "He's been around forever. He's a dinosaur."

Korsak chuckled, approaching her bed, "Well, now you just sound like Frost."

"I'm just kidding," Jane said, patting him on the arm. "Frost's the one that means it."

"Hey!" Frost said from the doorway.

"Hey, partner," Jane nodded.

Soon they were joined by Tommy, Frankie, and Angela.

"A Rizzoli family reunion!" Tommy hollered.

"Tommy." Maura tried.

"It's okay, Maura." Jane smiled. "It's good to have the whole team back together."

"How are you feeling Janey?" Angela said cautiously.

"I'm okay, Ma." Jane said, reaching her hand out. Angela resisted tackling her in a hug, instead opting to wrapping her arms around her head and kissing Jane's hair.

"My baby's back," Angela cried.

"Okay, Ma." Jane said, trying to free herself.

"Jane should really get some rest." Maura said, finally freeing Jane of her mother's grip.

"Yeah," Frankie laughed, "gotta heal up so we have our Captain back."

"I missed you too Frankie." Jane smiled, looking around the room. "I missed all of you … Wait… if you're all here, who's flying the ship?"

"Don't worry about it," Tommy shrugged, "Vanni's got the helm."

"You let Giovanni fly my ship?!" Jane gawked.

"What?" Frost laughed, "He's almost as good as Maura."

"You flew Serenity?" Jane gasped, staring at Maura.

"What can I say," Maura winked, "you were a good teacher."

Jane blushed, but no one seemed to notice. Instead, everyone tried to talk all at once, assaulting her with questions.

"How are you feeling?" Her mother said worriedly.

"I feel like hell—"

"How'd you do it?" Tommy asked excitedly.

"Do what?" Jane tried.

"Outrun the Alliance? Get to the shuttle?"

"What happened to those two you chased down?" Frankie added quickly.

"Guys!" Maura interrupted, a bit more agitated than anyone would expect. She smiled apologetically, "Jane needs rest. You can berate her with questions after she recovers."

"I'd rather you don't at all," Jane laughed.

Frost and Korsak slipped away. They knew when Jane needed the space, besides they had plans to make. The Serenity crew was on the run again and this time they would need to hide on the very outskirts of the system just to escape the Alliance's reach.

The Rizzoli's ignored Maura's pleas at first. The worst offender was Angela. She hovered at Jane's shoulder, grasping her hand tightly, looking as if she would break out crying at any time. Tommy looked bright-eyed and happy. He would never admit it, but he adored his big sister. It was like he got one of his favorite people back. Frankie kind of stood off a bit. He respected Maura's request, but he also feared his mother's response if he were to slip away. She always said he cared more about himself, only because he didn't like being in Jane's shadow. It didn't help that no one seemed to care about what he had risked going into that hospital. What he had done to save his sister.

"Ma," Jane finally said, looking up at her mother, "I'm really tired."

"Okay…" she said, letting go of Jane's hand reluctantly. "You get some rest. We'll bring you dinner later."

Jane smiled and nodded, "Thanks Ma." The Rizzolis finally filed out of the infirmary, leaving Jane and Maura alone.

Maura was replacing Jane's I.V. drip. "You don't know how to slow down, do you?" Jane said, reaching for her hand.

"I'm fine," Maura smiled softly, turning to give Jane her hands.

Jane interlaced her fingers with Maura's. Strange, Jane thought, how right this feels. She looked up lovingly into Maura's hazel eyes. The honey blond smiled back at her.

"You need rest," Jane stated.

"So do you." Maura replied, lost in Jane's eyes.

"I'll be fine," Jane smirked, "I've got the best doctor in the Verse."

Maura smirked back, "Flattery will get you nowhere."

Jane waggled her eyebrows, "Are you sure?"

Maura laughed. Jane had a way of doing that, taking a serious situation and making light of it. Taking an exhausted feeling and making it into a lighthearted joke.

"But really, Maura," Jane said, growing serious, "you need to take care of yourself. Have you even been to sleep?"

Maura's smile disappeared. She gripped Jane's hands tightly. "Honestly?" Maura whispered, "I've barely slept since you went away."

"Oh, Maura," Jane said, bringing her hand to Maura's cheek. "I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry, too." Maura said, her eyes growing wet. No, she thought, I can't cry. I've cried so much since then.

"None of this was your fault." Jane said, her fingers in Maura's hair. "If anything, this is my fault. I knew what I was doing when I flew off that day."

Maura frowned, "How could you have known what Hoyt was up to?"

Jane looked at the bandage on Maura's neck. "He's been looking for me. Ever since I escaped him the first time…"

When Jane didn't explain, Maura said, "How did you escape? I thought no one had ever escaped him before."

"I fought him." Jane said, her brow furrowing as she tried to recall the details, but her mind was still foggy with his tricks. Still, if the experience had taught her anything, it was that Hoyt didn't do anything without a purpose. "He let me go."

"What?" Maura gasped. "Why would he let you go?"

"How much do you know about his M.O.?"

"He takes couples." Maura said, gulping, recalling the many cases she had looked over. "He torchers one while…"

Jane simply nodded. "I surprised him. I had tracked him down. I tried to take him in alive.

"But Hoyt was too fast. I thought I had him, but—he overpowered me." Jane continued, her voice cracking as the memories returned. "He had me—on the ground. He could have killed me—he had a scalpel at my neck. Instead, he—"

Jane started to message her palms nervously.

"It's okay, Jane," Maura said softly, "you don't have to—"

"No," Jane shook her head, "I want to. I need to."

Maura nodded, smiling sympathetically.

"He," she started, "he pinned me by the hands—with his scalpels. I thought he was going to leave me there to die. But he—he leaned over to whisper in my ear."

Maura waited patiently as Jane struggled to continue. Putting her hands in Jane's seemed to help. She fidgeted less. Jane's eyes settled on hers.

"He said, 'I'll take what you love the most.I'll take her. I'll take her from you, and I'll make you watch.'"

"Her?" Maura frowned.

"I didn't know who he was talking about at first." Jane said. "I didn't understand until much later."

"Understand?"

"There was a friend of mine, from before the war. We were barely out of school, but we were close. When I returned, she had gotten married. I was so upset. I didn't understand why."

Maura gave her a sympathetic smile.

Jane tried not to look into Maura's eyes again. She was worried she might cry—might be unable to finally voice what had happened. "He had her picture," Jane admitted. "He knew all about me before I had even found him.

"He told me that he would track her down. That he would enjoy killing her. That he would make me watch. He told me he would wait as long as he had to—he said it was better that way.

"I thought I had overpowered him. He was injured—I thought fatally injured—but I found out later that he was still haunting the border planets. His bounty grew as he racked up more victims. I went to find her, Susanna, to warn her, but she wouldn't listen. Instead, I went off the grid.

"Korsak, Frost, and I went after other bounties for a while, but I eventually went on his trail again. I couldn't get his words out of my head. They had been haunting me ever since. But he never touched Susanna. After years passed, I started to wonder if he had just been messing with my head."

Maura squeezed Jane's hand. She smiled wordlessly, wishing she could take away Jane's pain, her fear.

"But then I met you," Jane said, tears slipping from her eyes, "and I realized…" She still couldn't say it, no matter how hard she tried. He was gone, but the fear remained. Instead she said, "I realized he was talking about you. He knew there would be someone, eventually. Someone he could take from me.

"I refused to believe it at first. I thought that I could pretend… but then … I couldn't turn off my feelings for you…"

Maura sighed, feeling an ache in her chest for the pain in Jane's eyes. She wiped tears from the brunette's cheeks. Leaning down, she pressed her lips against Jane's forehead.

"I'm so sorry…" Jane whispered.

"No," Maura said, lifting Jane's chin, "this isn't your fault."

Softly and slowly Maura kissed her. The salty taste of tears was on her lips. Maura wished she could kiss them away. She ran her fingers into Jane's hair, pulling her closer. Jane sighed through her nose, moaning softly as Maura gently sucked on her lower lip.

"How's the Captain do—"

Jane sat back instantly. Maura straightened, feeling dizzy.

"Oh," Giovanni laughed, scratching the back of his head awkwardly, "Sorry to interrupt. I just… I was wondering how you were feeling."

Jane blinked, still dazed by the lingering feel of Maura's kiss on her lips.

"I mean…" Giovanni smirked, "you don't have to stop if you don't wanna…"

Jane grimaced, "Really Vanni?"

"What?" he shrugged. "Jus' saying."

"Gross," Jane groaned.

"So," he said, raising his brow, "it this the real reason you weren't into me?"

Jane sighed. How do I tell the man he's just not appealing? But she decided to be kind, to lie just a little. He smiled when she gave him a nod.

"And Maura?" He asked, seeming more disappointed this time.

"Oh," Maura replied, "I mean… you're very appeasing physically speaking."

Jane coughed. She tried to hint for Maura to take it easy on him, but she didn't catch on.

"And I'm sure you're a great lover, but—"

"You're not into men?"

"Oh, no." Maura said, "I am sexually attracted to men as well."

He raised a brow.

"Just not you."

"Ouch." Jane winced.

Maura turned towards Jane worriedly. "What's wrong?"

Jane tried not to laugh, pointing at Giovanni, "You just crushed the poor man's ego."

"What?" Maura said, looking cluelessly between the two of them.

"Nah," Giovanni said, shrugging it off. "I'm okay." He waved, "I'll just go … check on the … the engines now."

As soon as Giovanni was out of earshot, Jane broke out laughing. "Maur, that poor man! Look what you did."

"I'm not very tactful," Maura said apologetically.

"No joke!" Jane smiled.

They were quiet for a while, just looking at each other. Man, I missed you so much. Jane thought. She felt as if it had been years since she last laughed.

"You should really get some rest, Maur," Jane said softly.

Maura smiled at her. She knew Jane was right, but she didn't want to leave her. She knew it was irrational, but she worried that Jane would leave her again. She worried that she would wake up alone like she had for months.

"I know…" Maura whispered, not moving.

Jane took Maura's hand in hers, "I don't want you to leave either."

"I'll have your mother come sit with you."

"Oh god," Jane groaned. "Please don't."

"I don't want you to wake up alone." Maura said softly.

"Fine." Jane sighed, "But only if you promise to go right to your shuttle and go to sleep."

Maura nodded. She didn't know how well she would sleep, but she could feel the exhaustion starting to overwhelm her.

Jane kissed Maura's hand, her eyes warm and loving. Maura smiled and kissed her on the forehead, "Goodnight."

Xxx

Angela brought Jane dinner a couple hours later. Tommy and Frost came in and chatted for a while. Jane could tell they wanted to talk about what went down at the hospital the other night, but Angela kept giving them threatening looks. In the end, Jane was actually thankful that her mother was there. And after the guys had left and she had drifted off to sleep, Jane was thankful to see a familiar face when she awoke suddenly.

At least this time she had not screamed. Instead she awoke breathing quickly, a panicky feeling constricting her chest. She struggled to see in the dimmed light, but she started to breathe easier when she saw her mother asleep in the chair next to her. Still, her heart would not stop racing no matter how much she focused on her breathing.

Quietly, she sat up, rubbing her palms. A chill ran down her spine as her mind flashed with the images of his blade across her neck. The tears in her eyes. The blood trickling down her neck.

She knew that Maura would be mad with her, but she did it anyway. Carefully, she pulled the I.V. from her arm. She hissed at the sharp pain, freezing when her mother stirred in her sleep. As soon as Angela settled again, Jane slipped from her bed. She grabbed some gauze and tape on the way out, nearly running into Frankie as she came out the door.

"What are you doing out—"

"Shh!" Jane whispered harshly.

"Where are you going?" Frankie murmured.

Jane gave him a look. Wasn't it obvious?

"She's going to be pissed."

"Who, Maura?"

"No, Ma." Frankie retorted. "You just disappearing again."

"I'm not disappearing. I'll be like 20 meters away."

"You know she won't see it that way."

"So just cover for me," Jane said, leaving without another word.

"Cover for you?" Frankie whispered loudly. "Cover how?"

Xxx

Jane slipped into Maura's bedroom quietly. She didn't want to wake her, but she didn't want to startle her either.

"Maura?" Jane whispered, slipping into the bed behind her.

"Hm?" Maura muttered sleepily.

Jane knew it made her seem needy, but she needed Maura in her arms. She needed to feel her warmth against her. She needed to feel her breathing, know she was okay, that he had not gotten her. That she wouldn't wake up to find herself in that room again.

"Shh…" Jane said, wrapping her arm around Maura, pulling her close, "I just…"

Maura tried to turn around, but Jane tugged her tighter, kissing her shoulder.

"You should be in the infirmary," Maura whispered, finding it difficult to concentrate with the haze of sleep in her head and Jane's warm body pressed against her back.

"What's there that I can't get here?" Jane muttered, growing sleepy as Maura's warmth seeped into her.

"Intravenous nutritional supplements…" Maura mumbled.

"I ate dinner," Jane said, intertwining her legs with Maura's.

Maura did not respond, having already fallen asleep. Jane pressed a gentle kiss to the back of her neck.

And under her breath, Jane finally uttered the words, "I love you."

[To be continued]