Goku tumbled head over heels amid foam and froth for far longer than should have been necessary. The water he fell into was dark—more like paint than water to be frank. It was cold and had a deep heavy feeling to it. Like it was weighed down with more than its own mass.

Surfacing, Goku took in a deep inhale of air, his eyes darting to and fro. He saw dark air, dark waves, with only the breaking of foam to bring any light to the place but most important, he didn't see who he sought. "Gohan!" His voice was almost swallowed by the emptiness in the air. "Gohan, where are you?! Answer me!"

Nothing. It was highly likely that the poor boy didn't hear him at all. The way the voice carried or lack there of created a crushing sense of isolation. It made GOKU uncomfortable and he'd lived alone for quite a few of his early years. This was a different kind of alone, one that cut you.

"Gohan!"

Nothing.

Drifting there amid the dark sea, Goku felt a sense of powerlessness. It wasn't something he felt very often. He had grown to despise it when it did come. If he couldn't find Gohan then how were they going to get out of here and get home and...

Fear.

Not from him although that was certainly stirring in his chest. This was elsewhere. Around him—under him—the sea. The sea he was currently thrashing about in was physical fear.

Goku had done his best to listen when he spoke to the therapy lady. He hadn't fully grasped everything she'd said though not for lack of trying. But he did recall her saying that fear was a primal emotion and that anger was usually used to cover up fear.

Then there was something else she'd said—fear always was based in loss. In some way. Goku wasn't sure he understood that but he did understand that this metaphorical sea was hiding something that was hurting his son and hurting him deeply.

If they were to get out of here, they had to find the root. Or maybe several roots. It wouldn't fix it—much as Goku wished it would—but it would tell them what needed fixed. Basic sense there. Hard to fix a leak if you don't know where it is or hard to patch a wound if you don't know where it's cut.

Goku inhaled and dove.

He didn't really know what he expected to find but when the sea suddenly vanished and he was floating in sky, he had to save that it wasn't what he expected. This was much clearer. He could make out familiar trees and rocks...

'Please, I don't know what to do!'

He recognized that voice. That was Gohan. But not the Gohan he knew. This was...Goku's heart felt heavy.

"That's my little Gohan!"

He had to maneuver a bit before he finally spied him. Yep! This must have been right after he died...the first time. Gohan was the right age for it. Goku felt a pang of nostalgia. Man, it had been so long. But there he was, small, with that surcoat and hat.

And Piccolo.

Goku frowned. He'd grown so used to Piccolo as a friend that seeing him like this with the glint of darkness to him felt surreal. He plowed deeper and the image in front of him glimmered and distorted before it vanished. He was left amid darkness.

Not for long though.

The area around him shifted and now he was standing in a pool of water and Piccolo, this younger Piccolo, appeared, his unconscious son grasped under his arm like a sack of potatoes.

Though he couldn't interact with a memory, Goku still instinctively leapt forward when the Namekian tossed his son into the water.

Still snapped at him too. "Piccolo! What the hell!?"

Gohan woke up quick enough, gasping and choking. Goku immediately went to wrap his arms around him only for it to touch nothing. "Right...memory."

"Your father's dead. He died saving you."

That voice while it came out as a simple snappy statement echoed here like a gunshot. Goku nearly had to cover his ears.

Piccolo...are you—my son's four right now! And you're gonna tell him that!

And whether intentioned or not, four year old Gohan's memory interpreted that in one simple way—your father's dead because of you. Goku didn't even need to hear it. The very landscape itself gave that away. It was...himself. The grass and lake and everything almost took on a grotesque version of himself as he'd been against Raditz. Clawing. Digging at the ground, all of them inching towards Gohan.

"Daddy died for me?"

Why didn't you listen?

Goku yelped, in surprise. The voice he was hearing was his but not his. It sounded like him but it was distorted and gurgly. The sound your throat made when it was filled with blood he realized abruptly.

Gohan was four the first time he heard that. He was four when he learned blood made your voice sound funny.

Why didn't you listen to me? If you'd listened, I'd still be alive!

He'd never told Gohan that. Never even thought it because it simply wasn't true! Didn't make a lick of difference that Gohan had not left. The result would have been the same! ChiChi woulda made sure he understood that, knew that! Or Krillin or Bulma...

But Piccolo was not that type; he wasn't even aware of such things back then. He was still so drenched in a desire for domination that the feelings of others were not important. Yet, even knowing that and knowing how much he had grown, as Goku watched his son weep in sorrow, he felt nothing but contempt for Piccolo.

"Shut up or I'll slit your throat!"

Darkness took the landscape, raw and unyielding terror. The fear of not just being alone but being alone with someone that as far as Gohan knew would as soon kill him as look at him.

And hearing that, feeling that even with Gohan's respect and love for Piccolo now, that this memory was still soaked in fear and uncertainty, Goku gritted his teeth.

He's barely more than a toddler, Piccolo. He's...he was a baby.

Granted, that was more ChiChi's phrase than his but Gohan at this point HAD been. Goku has indulged him probably a little too much but this was...Gohan had already been through a day! THIS was what happened? Goku had never thought about what it probably meant when he found out Piccolo had trained his son. Especially with how much Gohan obviously respected him. He'd never asked...

"I want Daddy to teach me!"

Goku's heart fell. Oh, the many, many times he had pleaded with ChiChi to let him reach his son. To let him show him the basics that his grandfather had taught him. Much as he loved the training that they'd done together, the time in the Time Chamber...those first lessons on basics had been denied to him and he would forever mourn that. Hearing his son ask for it made him smile.

"Too bad. Your father is a strong fighter, but he will be an unsuitable teacher. He's too soft for this. It's obvious, just looking at how coddled you are."

Goku shuddered when the atmosphere trembled, grew cold and unfriendly. Maybe Piccolo was right on the one hand but Gohan was only four. As Goku stood there, he felt that unforgiving voice chant again

What's wrong with me?

"Nothin'!" Goku shouted skyward. "There ain't nothin' wrong with you, Gohan! You were four! Four!"

He felt that wind shift and twist and blow. It became increasingly difficult to keep his feet planted. The imagery around him turned black and began to crumble, breaking apart piece by piece. Yet Piccolo stayed the prominent figure, appearing darker and more demon like as Goku waited.

"If you're still alive in six months, I'll teach you how to fight."

Goku's heart stopped. Piccolo you did not...tell me you did not...

"You can't just leave me alone out here! Please! What am I supposed to do?!"

"Sometimes life is cruel. And don't you forget it."

Then, just like that, Piccolo left, leaving a sobbing Gohan reaching out after him, pleading for him "don't leave me!" He tripped and stumbled and pleaded, screaming into the sky about 'what am I supposed to do? I dunno what to do!'

Like ice broken, the ground gave way and Goku fell deeper. Deeper into his son's memories, thoughts, dreams. Yet all he could think on was what he just saw.

Piccolo...left him.

Goku never thought such a thing. With the way Gohan nearly idolized Piccolo, the way Piccolo was so protective of him. The way they obviously loved one another (Gohan has referred to him as "kind of a green Uncle" on several occasions) even though Piccolo would never dare admit it. Goku had no doubt the Piccolo he knew now had nothing but his son's best interests at heart.

But hearing the heart numbing fear in his son's voice...

"Please! Please! Don't leave me!" well into the evening as his son cried for ANYONE to hear him...anyone to save him...anyone to comfort him.

Goku felt his eyes turn aqua and had Piccolo been there before him, the Saiyan father had no idea what he would have done.