Metanoia

Chapter 25: Requiem

The first light of dawn pouring over New York City was a sight that grounded James. It meant he'd made it to another day, that things weren't as bad as they could be. He had his mind in his own brain and he wasn't being controlled by anyone. The past weeks had been a living nightmare but he had escaped Hydra's clutches once and for all, all thanks to a girl and an old friend.

Of course, just because he'd escaped Hydra didn't mean he was in the clear. He knew he was a wanted man, even if he technically didn't exist anymore. Right now he was living on tenterhooks, hoping a clear plan would be made and he would know his place in this world; but he trusted Rory and Steve. For once, the odds were solidly in his favor. It was strange to trust in someone when he'd spent a lifetime distrusting even his own mind but he was learning, day by day, that it was ok, that he was safe.

He turned away from the window that faced the city when the elevator chimed. He hadn't been expecting company this early in the morning but when the doors opened and the Black Widow padded out of the elevator dressed in a tank top and sweats that were obviously not hers.

He wasn't surprised that she was the first one awake. He'd taken note of how early she'd risen at the farm, even if he hadn't really spoken to her whilst there.

She didn't look at him as she passed, instead she headed for the kitchen where he listened to her quietly potter around for about 5 minutes before she emerged again, not saying a word as she crossed the lounge with two steaming mugs in her hands.

"I made coffee." she said, her voice throaty and a little unsure. "Didn't know how you took it so I made it how I like it." She added after a second.

"However you take it is fine." James replied in a voice as soft as hers. He reached out to take the hot mug, his fingers brushing hers.

"Can I join you?" She asked, glancing at the other end of the sofa that he was sitting on and he nodded, shifting to make space.

She sat, tucking her legs under her like a cat, her gaze focusing on the city waking up outside Stark's impressive tower.

Although they'd stayed at The Barton Farm together, they hadn't really been alone at all. He would admit he'd avoided her a little, not wanting to deal with the past that she dredged up but this was nice just sitting in comfortable silence.

Instead of talking he lifted the mug to his lips and sniffed. Coffee filled his senses, black and strong and pure.

"If I'd wanted to kill you, I would have been a little more creative than poison in the coffee." She mused in that soft voice again and he took a mouthful more out of embarrassment than want to drink it. He hadn't consciously been sniffing for poison. Not this time.

"Old habits." He said once he'd swallowed, glancing sidelong at her. Her lips were twitching in amusement but she wasn't looking at him.

"I know how that feels." She said and this time he did turn to her, catching sight of the pained look on her face. All at once he saw her as he remembered her: a young girl with blunt cut bangs and an expression void of any emotion.

He had to look away.

That was who he remembered. It was why he'd avoided her at the farm. He didn't know this new woman, this Natasha Romanoff with Natalia Alianovna Romanova's face; and while he remembered her as one of the deadliest women he had ever trained, he also remembered her as the one who had pushed beneath the Winter Soldier's training and had taught him to be human.

"You remember me."

It wasn't a question but he nodded anyway.

"I remember some things. You're one of the more clearer memories from my past." He nodded, glancing at her to find those stunning green eyes staring intently back at him.

They betrayed smarts that couldn't ever be rivalled. He remembered the first time he had looked at her he had been blown away by the intelligence he could see there. It was how she'd survived so long in that hell.

"I almost remember what we were." He added, more as an afterthought and he saw her expression change from surprise to sadness. "My memories are… fragmented." He explained, hoping he wasn't hurting her by forgetting. "They're not quite right. I can't know for sure if what I'm remembering actually happened or if I made it up." He paused. "Or if it was made up for me."

"If you ever have any questions, I can answer them." She said, bringing her mug up to her lips.

He nodded trying to think of a question for her. It wasn't that he didn't have any but the opposite. There was too much he wanted to know about his time as The Winter Soldier; so he left it, thanking her before falling into silence again.

It was a comfortable silence that seemed to stretch and fill the space between them. The sun rose higher and higher and before too long the elevator behind them chimed again. He turned in time to see the archer exiting.

Clint glanced their way, lifting a hand and diverting his route toward them, his footsteps unusually heavy for someone whose job was to be quiet.

"Mugs." He said in a louder than normal voice and held out his hands for the empty mugs that were still in hands. James handed his over watching Clint Barton curiously.

Like Natasha, he hadn't had much to do with the other man while staying at the farm. He hadn't quite known how to talk to people, hell he still didn't, but Clint seemed nice enough and everything Rory had said about him had been nothing but good so he was willing to try.

"He takes it like I do." Natasha said as she passed him hers. He frowned and gestured to his ears.

"I don't have them in."

She muttered something about dumbasses and hearing aids before she raised her hands and made delicate shapes in the air between them.

"Oh. Cool. Black like your soul." He shot back and ruffled her hair. Natasha lashed out a fist and it made contact with his hip but it was half hearted and she was smiling as he disappeared past them back toward the kitchen.

James watched him go, something in his chest aching. They moved so easily around each other that it was like watching water. They fit together so easily and made him painfully aware that she'd gotten out and had lived a full life; while he'd been used.

"He's deaf." Was all he could think to say to stop the jealousy twisting inside his chest.

"Almost completely. There was an accident with his brother when he was a kid." Natasha shrugged. "He did tell me once. A long time ago… He's the only reason I am where I am right now." she added quietly. "He saw potential in me when he was supposed to kill me. He… saved my life."

"He could have seen that there was no beating you." James smirked and she smiled, shaking her head.

"Truthfully, he almost had me… but don't tell him I admitted that."

James turned his head and looked over his shoulder as the scruffy man left the kitchen and padded across the lounge room. He couldn't imagine him being something deadly enough to almost best the Black Widow and he said as much.

Natasha laughed.

"What did he say?" Clint asked as he crossed the room but Natasha shook her head.

"Don't let the farm boy look fool you. Clint is one of the best assassins I have ever worked with. He's got skill with both weapons and people. Uncanny sense for when something is either not right or a good call." She finished talking about the man in question as he handed her a mug.

"I saw my name on your lips, girly. What are you talking about?" He asked as he passed James his coffee. Natasha placed the mug on the floor by her feet and signed something. Clint signed something back which resulted in Natasha flipping him off.

Clint laughed and grinned at James.

"Good luck." Was all he said and James' eyebrows rose.

Natasha shook her head and sighed, still smiling at whatever he had signed to her.

"Does he treat you right?" James asked, sipping the black coffee.

Natasha's brow furrowed as she took a sip. "Treat me… Oh, god. No. We are not a thing." She shook her head, laughter escaping her lips. "Not anymore anyway and never anything you could have called 'functional'." She shook her head again. "He treats me as well as a man who isn't my significant other can without it being weird."

James frowned.

"So like Rory and Steve?" He questioned, trying hard to understand the people around him. He wondered if there was anything he should know about Sam too, if everyone else seemed to have an old significant other within the ranks.

"A little less complex than Rory and Steve… how much do you know about them?" She asked, sipping from her mug and closing her eyes with the small joy of the warmth it brought. James lifted a shoulder in a shrug.

"I'd put most of it together myself before Rory ended up coming clean and telling me everything." He replied and Natasha's smile turned wistful.

"She must be doing ok if she can talk about it." She gave a small sigh and pulled her knees to her chest, resting her chin on top of them.

"Truthfully they were part of the lucky few who found something good and pure. The kind of love people can only dream about." She smiled the kind of smile that told of a woman who wished she'd had the same thing. "It took them a long time to get together but they were good for each other. They still are."

James nodded because he could see that as clear as day. Even when they were at odds, the two worked seamlessly together. Rory kept Steve's ego in check and Steve kept her temper. He tried to at least. He seemed to be on the receiving end of it more often than James had seen any other way but Steve took it in his stride.

"I'm glad Steve found someone. I remember he always used to struggle to find a date, being such a skinny kid and all." James murmured, closing his eyes as memories of a skinny, small Steve being left out of double dates crossed his mind.

"Let's just hope he gets her back." Natasha replied.

"I think it will, if what happened in Boston is anything to go by…" He huffed a laugh, trying very hard not to remember hearing them together.

Natasha laughed, catching the look on his face.

"They can't keep their hands off each other." She said, rolling her eyes. "I have $10 that says she ended up sleeping in his room last night."

"Milaya, you don't have to bet me nothin'. I know she was in there. I heard every time she left the apartment and on the fourth time she didn't come back." James grinned. "'You think it'll happen? Them getting back together?"

"Maybe. He hurt Rory but she's not dumb. She knows why it all went down and I think, in a way, she understands. They were both fucked over by the same person and surprisingly enough it wasn't each other like they thought."

"Steve's still crazy about her. I don't think he even cares that she ran away like a dumbass anymore."

"Hey, she saw an opportunity to prove everyone wrong and she took it. I'm sure we've all been there before." Natasha said, her voice gentle and small.

"Yeah, I guess we have."

"Besides, even if they don't end up fixing their relationship Rory is home and she's staying home and that's really all that matters to Steve."

"I hope, for their sake, they make it work."

"Me too." Natasha murmured, sighing softly. She turned her gaze to the window where the sun was high over the buildings and the new day had well and truly begun. James kept his eyes on her, taking in the curve of her cheek and the slope of her nose, how her red hair had three or four different shades in it as it curled against her skin.

He erased the old version of her that was in her head and memorized this one, because if Natalia could become Natasha then he could become James again.

"What am I going to do from here, Natasha?" He asked in a low voice. "What am I going to do when they come for me, because you know they will."

"Who's they?" she asked, turning away from the window.

"The same people who tried to come after you. The government. The feds. I've done a lot of bad things in my life -"

"Hydra used you to do a lot of bad things. An argument could be made that you were under duress." She waved a hand. "But I mean, I don't see how they can pin it all on you, Yakov Belikov."

He frowned at the name she'd called him, confused by what she meant. She smiled like she had a secret she was dying to tell.

"The only name they have to connect you to the Winter Soldier is James Barnes and he's been dead since 1945. There's a death certificate and a gravestone, and Steve Rogers to attest to that." She shifted in her seat and turned to face him, her elbow resting along the back of the couch cushion as she threaded her fingers through her hair. "I was working on a new identity for me and figured you'd need one too… So if anyone asks your name is Yakov Belikov and you're a software engineer from Russia trying to get a fresh start after the breakdown of your marriage. You and Tony are distant cousins which is why you're here all the time."

"Does Tony know he's acquired a new family member?" James asked with a slight laugh.

"It was his idea. He was helping Agent Carter wipe Rory's slate clean. He has all your documents and passports for whenever the time comes that you need them." She replied.

James didn't know what to say. He couldn't remember the last time so much generosity was shown to him. His life wasn't so uncertain. He was free and able to do whatever he wanted without fear of being caught and thrown away.

He looked at his hands, one metal and one flesh and bone and thought for the first time that he had a future that extended beyond tomorrow.

Natasha's small hand slid onto his forearm, her cool fingers pressing into the metal plates gently as she moved closer to him.

"We've all been there and I know how uncertainty feels. Rory's not the only one looking out for you, ok?"

He nodded, covering her hand with his flesh one. He didn't know how to show the gratitude he was feeling but somehow he knew Natasha understood. He wouldn't ever stop trying to make it up to her just like he wouldn't stop trying to make it up to Rory and Steve and anyone else who was risking everything to keep him alive.

Rory woke in Steve's large bed alone, the sun streaming through the glass windows much brighter than it had been hours earlier. She had no idea of the time but she remembered Steve waking her with a chaste kiss to tell her he needed food, so it couldn't have been too late. Mid morning at the most.

She stretched and yawned, feeling utterly content for the first time in a long time even though the bed was cold and empty beside her. She'd liked waking up with him, feeling him pressed against her back and holding her tight. It was something she'd missed, just the close intimacy that came with sleeping beside someone, and although she knew it was dangerous to fall back into old habits when neither knew what was happening with their lives, she didn't care.

She would care later when the time came to use her brain and seriously think about her life and where it was headed; but at that moment, caring was off the table and living was in.

Besides, maybe she and Steve would be on the same path and he would be happy moving to Boston with her and her family for a little while. Maybe they could make the normal life work. She'd gleaned from the surface that he hadn't exactly had an easy 2 years so maybe, just maybe, that was what he wanted too.

All she knew right at that moment was she was alive and she was free from Hydra and SHEILD and everything that she'd been running from so long ago and she was happy.

Sitting up she noted the time. A little after 11 meant that others would be up and about by now, namely her sisters so she picked up her phone and dialled Maggie's number.

It picked up after a few rings.

"Finally!" was the only greeting she got.

"I've had a rough couple of years. I needed to sleep." Rory laughed. She could hear the kids in the background. "Where are you?"

"One of Stark's many levels? 39 maybe?" Someone said something in the background. "38. Level 38. The living room but honestly it's the entire floor I swear."

Rory laughed.

"Ok. I'm going to shower and come join you. Who's there?" she asked, stepping into the bathroom to turn the shower on.

"Me, Alison, Jo… the kids. Steve was here before but they've gone to play with Stark's new toys, I was surprised you weren't with him."

"Like I said, I needed sleep."

"He keep you up all night, huh?"

"Mags! No!" Rory laughed as she heard the disbelieving mhm from the other end of the line. "Give me 20 minutes, ok? I'll come hang with you guys."

"You have 15. We've missed you entirely too much." Maggie replied and the line went dead. Rory smiled and stripped off her pyjamas, stepping under the hot jets. They felt so good against her aching muscles that it was hard to make herself leave but she did, wrapping herself in a towel to hunt for clothes.

She found a t-shirt that was Steves and some sweatpants and pulled them on, rolling up the hem and tying a knot in the tee so they didn't swim on her before she left. She made a mental note to ask her sister for clothes. She'd have to go shopping at some point but she wasn't sure if she could face the city just yet. The threat may have passed but it was going to take her mind a lot of convincing to be sure.

In the elevator she tapped out a text to Steve to let him know where she'd gone, on the off chance he came back looking for her.

To: Steve
Hey I'm going to
hang with my sisters
in the living room.
Wanted to let you
know.
X

It was only when it sent that it struck her how domestic it was to check in with him. She paused for a second, her eyes glued to the screen as her mind processed this. Three little dots appeared to tell her he was replying and in that moment she found she was ok with it.

She was ok with checking in with him and letting him know where she'd gone and she was ok with the feeling of security that came with it. For too long she'd pushed herself to be alone, it was nice to feel like someone had her back again. Even if they weren't together, she knew Steve would always be there as a friend.

Reply: Steve
Have fun. I'll
come find you
later. Tony mentioned
pizza and beer for
dinner.
X

The elevator doors slid open as his reply came through and she smiled.

Sound amazing.
See you later.
X

She sent the message as someone screamed her name.

"AUNTY RORY!"

She looked up in time to see them run to her and for a few seconds she wasn't sure who it was. They were so big and tall now and she let out a huff as they collided with her legs.

Her smile turned into a grin.

"Oh my goodness Coop! Look how big you are!" She squealed, dropping to her knees to hold him close. She ducked down as Hannah and Tucker zoomed through the room and she spent several minutes looking them over and hugging them tightly.

The pain in her chest subsided with each giggle and hug she got from them. Finally she scooped up Ava and walked to where her sisters were sitting.

"Well is anyone going to hug me?" She looked between them, grinning seconds before Alison, Jo and Maggie screamed and got to their feet to pull her into their arms. She didn't even know she was crying until Ava wiped her face with a pudgy hand.

"You scared the hell out of us, Roar." Alison breathed as she pulled away, brushing some hair off her face. Her doctor's eyes assessed all the cuts, scrapes and bruises over her face, narrowing on the thick band around her neck. "You look like hell."

"I've been to hell and back. The devil says hello." Rory muttered as she sat, pulling Maggie in beside her as she settled Ava on her knees.

"But you're back now. For good, right?" Jo asked as she sat on her other side, taking her hand in hers.

"Yeah, Jo. I'm back. For good." Rory nodded, her eyes tracking the kids as they gathered around trying to show her things at the same time. It was noisy and loud and chaotic and she loved every second of it. They were all so big now and she catalogued every bit of them she could so she'd never forget what truly mattered to her again.

"So what are you going to do now?" Maggie asked some time later when the kids had had their fill and Rory was caught up to date on the latest My Little Pony toy and what Playstation game was the coolest.

Rory looked up from Rosie who was sitting happily on her lap and shrugged.

"With my life?" She asked. "Something boring hopefully."

"So you're done with SHIELD?" Alison asked and Rory nodded.

"Technically SHIELD is done anyway and while I could go into CIA like Sharon, but I think I just need time to myself." She sighed and tucked Rosie's head under her chin. The small baby reminded her that she almost had this but instead of the pain the memory usually brought, there was only peace. "I need to rebuild who I am as a person, make it up to everyone. Try and figure out how to tell you all how sorry I am that I abandoned you."

Maggie took her hand and linked their fingers.

"Rory, we understand."

Those words made Rory tear up again and she dropped her cheek against Rosie's head, sucking in a deep breath.

"I think I'm going to move to Boston with Grandma and Pa, whenever they decide to go back."

That was her plan. Out in the open and officially on record.

"It'd be nice to have you around." Jo nodded, smiling. "The kids have missed you. So has Tim."

"Grant too. There were so many times when I saw him pick up his phone to call you and he couldn't." Alison nodded, her voice soft. "He's discharged from service now, so he's home a lot."

"Tim's taking some time off too. I actually went back to work, so he stays home to look after these three." She smiled and Rory's eyes widened.

"Tim's a stay at home dad?"

"Yep. He loves it." Jo grinned. "He wanted to be near home in case something happened and his unit was about to be deployed again so it was either retire from service or leave again…"

"Wow…" Rory breathed. She'd never imagined her brother doing anything but serve and protect, but he loved his kids more than life itself so it didn't overly surprise her.

"So is Steve going to move with you?" Maggie asked, shifting on the sofa and rubbing her ever growing stomach. She wasn't more than a few months away from her due date now and Rory could see she was starting to feel it.

Rory chewed on her lip and shrugged.

"I don't know." She said softly. "We haven't really discussed much of what it is we are…" She trailed off before telling them everything that had transpired that morning. "So I don't quite know what to do." She finished up, trying to ease herself into a more comfortable position now that Rosie was falling asleep in her arms.

"Honestly by the sounds of it, he's willing to let you call the shots." Alison said, tucking her long legs under her. "He's never strayed from home, ever. I don't know how many times we went to Peg and Dugans and he was a permanent fixture in their house."

"He never stopped loving you, Roar." Maggie said gently, leaning over to brush some hair off her daughter's face.

"I know." Rory said, her voice thick with emotion again. "I never stopped loving him even though he was the last person in this world I wanted to think about."

"Then what's the issue?" Jo shrugged, waving her hands at her "You love him and he has never stopped loving you. You two were made for each other so -"

"The timing isn't right." It was Maggie who spoke the words Rory was thinking and she met her sister's gaze. "You need to focus on yourself, Roar."

Rory nodded slowly. Maggie was right. She had too much to do with herself before she could focus on someone else.

Still, the thought of being away from him made her chest ache again. The thought of being away from him made her want to pick up her phone and find out exactly where he was so she could just be with him. The thought of being away from him hurt and she knew she couldn't ignore that feeling again.

"I guess that's true." Alison said softly. "I mean, worst case scenario you guys just do what you did before and 'be friends'" she quoted with her fingers, giving a dramatic roll of her eyes.

Jo gave a laugh.

"We all called bullshit on that during the 4th of July weekend, by the way." She said and Rory laughed.

"We thought we were subtle." She defended.

"As a sledgehammer." Maggie snorted.

"To the face." Jo stifled a laugh.

Rory grinned.

"It worked for us."

"Then it will work again." Alison reached over and took her hand. "You two are practically written in the stars."

Rory smiled and looked down at the toddler sleeping in her arms. She tried to imagine what her own would have looked like. She imagined her blonde with bright blue eyes and a long narrow nose. She imagined she would be tall and graceful with an imagination that would take over the world.

One day that child would exist. She had to hope it would because that hope made her happy and Rory could finally admit to herself that she was allowed to be happy.

She'd done what she'd set out to do two years ago. She had proven her worth to herself and to everyone else. Now it was time to let that go and be happy - whenever it was right that child would exist, there was no doubt in her mind, just peace, hope and happiness.

Tony's penthouse hadn't changed much since the last time Steve had been there. Some of the photographs had changed to reflect the more recent years but other than that it still held the feeling that it was the home where a real person lived. The rest of the tower was the facade of Stark but this place was Tony.

Steve looked around the room and smiled, seeing all of his friends in the same place for the first time in years.

Natasha was perched on a stool beside Bucky, watching as Clint bent over the pool table to take his shot. Bruce was standing opposite, laughing at something Sam was saying to him and Tony had a running commentary going, trying to put the archer off his mark.

Thor was passing around mugs of Asgardian Ale, having arrived back on earth just that morning. The weather outside reflected the Thunder God's bad mood at missing out on rescuing his friends, the once pleasant afternoon now dark and stormy but at least the rain had stopped.

Grant, Tim, and Dugan were by the balcony doors, watching the kids as they played something on the wide screen TV. Peggy was handing them drinks, kissing Dugan's cheek before she turned and went back to where her granddaughters, Sharon, and Pepper were sitting on the wide and comfortable sofas.

From where he stood he could hear Rory's laugh every so often and it made him so happy to hear it again. She looked good too, even with bruising around her neck and face. It was fading fast, most of the scrapes on her skin all but vanishing to nothing with the help from her Serum.

As if he'd called her name, her amber eyes locked with his and the smile she gave left him breathless. He smiled back, watching as she stood and picked her way through their friends to join him at the bar.

"What are you doing over here, by yourself?" She asked with a laugh, leaning against the wooden bartop beside him.

"Getting another drink actually, did you want anything?" He started to reach for the refrigerator but she shook her head.

"No, thanks. I haven't even finished my first. It's gone straight to my head." She pressed her fingers to her forehead and took a breath. His eyes narrowed with concern but she waved it away. "I'll be ok, I'm sure. It's warm in here too."

"If you're sure." He tipped his drink back and took a long drag from the neck. "How was your day?" He asked, wiping his lips on the back of his hand.

"It was good. Exhausting. I'd forgotten how much noise my family can make." She laughed, turning to look at them. There was an expression on her face that was crossed with joy and sadness that was only there for a second before it was gone and she turned back to him. "I went out into the city too. I needed some new clothes."

"And yet I'm fairly sure that T-shirt is mine?" He tipped his bottle toward the plain blue t-shirt that she had on. It was tied in a knot above her navel and the sleeves were rolled up because it was so big. She grinned.

"Yeah, so? What are you going to do, take it back?"

"I just might." He winked and she peeled off into a laugh again that was like music to his ears.

"Maybe later, Hero." She lowered her voice and then it was his turn to laugh. "I've missed that." She said, her eyes sparkling.

"Missed what?"

"Your laugh."

"I missed yours." He countered, clearing his throat. "I missed a lot of things about you, actually."

"Write me a list, I'll work on getting them back for you."

He laughed again, glancing over her shoulder to see their friends watching them. He cleared his throat and leant into her.

"We have an audience." He murmured and she turned to look over her shoulder. No one pulled their eyes away and she shook her head.

"Hear anything good?" She called out to them. Steve gave a laugh and stepped around her, wrapping an arm over her shoulder to steer her toward their friends.

"Forgive us for liking the sight of you two laughing again." Tony said as they approached. "It's been a while. It's like looking at a unicorn."

Rory flipped him off as she took up the stool Bucky was offering her. Steve didn't miss the way he stepped closer to Natasha, the Widow seeming to lean into his frame. Their eyes met and Steve tipped his head in an unspoken question, which was only answered with a smile and a raised bottle of beer.

Steve grinned and rested his elbow against the tall table, his eyes focusing on the game at hand.

"So this is weird." Clint said after a few moments of no one saying a word. Natasha shoved him in the shoulder and he gave a huff. "What? It is! We are never in the same place anymore without someone being kidnapped or threatened or dying." He rubbed his shoulder.

"Could you have any less tact?" Natasha shoved him again and he laughed.

"I'm not saying it's a bad thing! I've missed all you idiots a lot… I'm just saying it's weird."

"It wouldn't be so weird if you guys would take up my plan to start the Avengers properly." Tony said and Steve gave a sigh.

"Not now, Tony."

"What plan?"

He and Rory spoke together and he glanced at her, finding her eyes on Tony.

"My plan to separate the Avengers from SHIELD and run them independently." Tony said simply, as if he'd pitched this a hundred times before.

The fact was, he had pitched it a hundred times before and every time the idea never sat right with Steve.

Tony's proposal had come about a year after Rory had left them. Steve had been running himself ragged on mission after mission after mission, and Tony had mentioned that he thought SHIELD was just using Steve to do their bidding - which wasn't exactly an untruth but it hadn't been something Steve wanted to hear.

The proposal was to privatise the team, take on new recruits, expand and help out around the world. The news was reporting more and more people with specialised skill sets and not all of them were being used for good. While there was a vigilante in Hell's Kitchen keeping the local thugs at bay, time portals were opening up everywhere, which was letting through God only knew what.

The world was a place of heroes and villains, and it needed The Avengers now more than ever.

"It would mean that we could help all those people that need it the next time something big and bad comes to town, or country or world," Tony finished his spiel, glancing at Steve as he did. "The only problem I have is that Cap over there thinks it's a bad idea."

Rory turned to him, her brow furrowed.

"You do?" She was surprised. "Why?"

Steve let out a breath and shrugged.

"Because he wants to put everyone on a register."

"I don't, but it'll be asked for." Tony clarified. "But I mean, it's a small price to pay if we can help the world."

"He's… got a point, Steve." Bruce spoke up and Steve's head snapped around to look at Bruce. It was surprising that Bruce of all people was agreeing to the idea considering he had a reputation as a scientist to keep intact.

"Bruce what -"

"Hydra are still very much around and vigilante-ism by untrained… superheroes, for lack of a better word, is only increasing." Bruce took his glasses off and rubbed his eyes. "At least this way if we monitor and keep an eye on things, dispatch where needed…"

"The government will never allow us to do this." Sam shook his head. "We're not military and we're not CIA, FBI, DOD. We're not anything important."

"Small details."

"Rather large ones, actually." Sam huffed. "Not to mention that Nat, myself, Steve and James over there still have pretty big records over our heads."

"We're working on reducing them," Natasha shrugged. "I think we're needed, Steve. Hell, I argued that exact thing in court only a few months ago. Threats are high and we've proven ourselves more than once."

"We have a base of operations, Steve." Tony spoke again, "It's upstate. There's an old Stark Industries facility that has room for training grounds, dorms if needed, it's out of the way…" Tony sounded like he was begging and Steve turned to him again. "We just need you. Our Captain."

"Me?" Steve's eyebrows knitted together. "Aren't you running it?"

"I'm throwing money at it. I'm not the Captain."

Steve leant back on the bench that was behind him and took stock of the situation. The idea was a tempting one if everyone else was on board but he was hesitant. He glanced between Tony and Rory, realising that he had to choose between them.

Avengers or Her.

Bucky would be with either one of them, that decision was entirely up to him. Steve wasn't going to force him to serve, but he also wasn't going to tell him he couldn't.

"Can… I think about it?" He said finally and Tony let out a whoop of joy. He clapped Steve on the shoulder as he passed him by.

"That's halfway to a yes." He grinned before sauntering off.

Steve dropped himself onto the vacant stool beside Rory and shook his head.

"It's not halfway to a yes." He muttered. Rory laughed.

"It kind of is." She said softly and he glanced at her.

"You think it's a good idea?"

"I think they make valid points. You guys are needed in this world." She nodded. Around them their friends shifted, downing their drinks and making excuses to leave. The only ones who stayed were Bucky and Natasha.

"What do you think, Buck?"

"I don't know yet." He replied, clearing his throat. "I've got almost nothing. I have a new identity if I need it but I'm not sure this is going to be a welcome sight on the team." He held up his hand and the plates of his arms whirred and shifted.

"We can find a way to cover it. I mean, Luke Skywalker had synthetic flesh..." Rory grinned as Natasha snorted.

"I understood that reference." Steve chuckled. Bucky's brow furrowed. "Oh boy are you in for a treat with Star Wars." He whistled through his teeth and Bucky's frown furrowed further.

"It's war but in space." Natasha clarified and his expression went from confusion to surprise.

"Really?"

"Yep. Dark side, light side, swords that are glowsticks of death… it's a lot of fun."

Steve looked back at Rory and found her chewing her nail. He reached for her hand and pried it from her mouth.

"What are you thinking?"

"That I want to move back to Boston to be away from it all." She answered more honestly than he was expecting. Something in his chest sank. "But I want you to do this." She added before he could say anything. "They need you."

"Yeah, but I need you too." He replied and she smiled.

"You know how to use the internet. We can keep in touch" She said, her voice wavering slightly. "If it's the facility I'm thinking of, it's not that far away. You'll have jets at your disposal and I'm sure I can work out a way to get up to you sometimes." Rory's amber eyes glistened and she squeezed his fingers.

Natasha murmured something in Russian before pressing her lips to Rory's hair. She tugged James away and left the two alone.

Steve let out a breath.

So this is where they talked about this.

Them.

Together or not.

In the middle of a Stark party with all their friends.

"I can come with you," he offered but she shook her head.

"I'm a mess Steve. A literal mess. At least this way you'll have something to focus on that's not me." She said gently, her voice coming out stronger and stronger with every word she spoke.

"I'd focus on you any day, sweetheart, if that's what you needed." He smiled and Rory nodded.

"But sometimes I won't. I'd rather you be doing constructive so I don't feel so… guilty."

"You have nothing to feel guilty about."

"I have lots to feel guilty about but I'm going to work on that." She lifted her hand from his and wiped her cheek as a lone tear escaped. "I think James might join me too" She added, glancing toward their friends who were now studiously looking away from them. "He and I are the same. We need to learn how to… be human again. So I wouldn't be alone."

"It would be good for him." Steve agreed. He scrubbed his free hand over his face, feeling the beard that had grown and stayed. It needed a trim he thought absently. "When do you leave?"

"Whenever my family does. Probably a week or so."

"Promise me you'll keep in touch?"

A laugh left her lips and she rolled her eyes.

"God, I'm not leaving tonight! Don't look so sad!" She shook her head and stood, standing eye level to him for once. She stepped in between his legs and he absently moved his hands to her hips. "I'm only going to say this once Steve, so listen closely."

He nodded obediently.

"I love you." Those three words were enough to take his breath away but he held it as she continued. "I love you and haven't ever stopped but right now I need to fix what I've done before I can focus on that love. Does that make sense?"

"Yes." He nodded, not trusting himself to say anything else.

"The time isn't right, right now, but it will be. I'm sure it will be - so until then, I just want to get to know you as my friend again, and when the time is right we will both know it."

He didn't feel disappointment at her words. There was a solid promise there and he respected her decision to not force anything between them. The idea of being friends again before anything else was appealing because what they had once had was gone. They needed to start all over again and that was as good as anything.

"We will." He nodded, tugging her closer. "But if you think I'm going to let you walk away right now without at least a kiss, you're wrong." He smiled as she laughed, her hands coming to rest on his shoulders.

"I'll allow it." She said, pressing her lips to his softly.

He didn't care that their friends and family were probably watching, thinking that they were together again. He didn't care because he knew what was going on and for the first time in a long time he could see a clear path for them both.

He was going to lead the Avengers, train new people and save the world like he'd been created to do and she was going to give herself time to heal. Perhaps one day she'd even join them but until that day he wouldn't ever be far from her reach, just in case the time came where they knew that it was right once more.

Well... this is technically the final chapter. There's an epilogue too. I'm sorry it took me so long to get out. I wasn't ready to let go.

I'm also working on my own novel. Rory and Steve will forever be in my heart.

Thanks to everyone who's followed this from the start... and those who have picked it up along the way. It means a lot.