Kyandi: I'm getting the chapter out early today! Whoo!
Takina: How many times do I have to remind you to greet the readers, first?
Kyandi: Oops! Right! Hey everyone! For those of you who did the math during the last chapter...yes, Takina gave Isogai's family 480 eggs.
Takina: Let it never be said that I do something half-assed.
Kyandi: True. And also, to answer a question...no, I haven't seen Koro Quest. I do want to watch it, though.
Takina: Would make for an interesting little side story.
Kyandi: That it would. I'll check it out soon, but for now, I want to focus on this story.
Takina: She's hoping to end this story before the isolation is over.
Kyandi: I would feel very accomplished if I could. With that, let's get started.
Takina: You're just ready for them to read the comment Akabane makes to me.
Kyandi: Yep! Everyone, enjoy and review!
Takina: ...Kyandi-sama does not own Assassination Classroom.
Chapter 25 Cops and Robbers
After one semester in Class E, Takina had thought she had seen everything.
She was wrong.
When she walked into class that morning, Karma and Nagisa right behind her, Takina was confronted with the image of Korosensei dressed like a police officer, blowing a bubble of gum. Takina stood there in the doorway, staring at Korosensei for a long moment before she merely heaved a sigh.
"Honestly, Korosensei...you make it too easy for me to taunt you. Takes all the fun out of it." she remarked before she moved to her desk.
Korosensei seemed to deflate in the face of Takina's indifference.
"What are you doing, Korosensei? What's with that dirty cop look so early in the morning?" Mimura asked.
"It seems you've all been doing some free-running as of late. Since you've gone through all that trouble, would you like to try playing a game which uses that skill?" Korosensei asked, twirling a pair of handcuffs around one tentacle.
"A game? Keh. It's probably just some lame-"
Terasaka cut off as Korosensei tied a bandanna around his face like some pathetic robber.
"It's Cops and Robbers! A 3D game of tag using the entire back mountain!" Korosensei declared. "I will have you all take the role of the robbers. Using the techniques you've learned, please escape throughout the mountain and hide. The role of the cops on the chase will be Karasuma-sensei and myself."
"What?!" Karasuma barked, taken by surprise.
"In the instance that we cannot tag everyone within the first hour, I will use Karasuma-sensei's wallet to buy everyone cake." Korosensei continued, Karasuma snapping "Hey!" at him. "On the other hand, if everyone is caught, your homework will be doubled!"
"Hold on a sec! You expect us to run from you for an hour!?" came the yelled reply.
"No need to worry about that. At first, Karasuma-sensei will be the only one on the chase. Sensei will be on standby in the jail space on the school yard. I will move out in the last minute." Korosensei told them.
"I'm not too worried, either way." All attention turned to Takina, who leaning back in her seat, arms crossed over her chest. "If I don't want to be found, you aren't going to find me. No matter how fast you are, or how good you are at hunting something down."
"Nurufufufu! I suppose we shall find out." Korosensei said, chuckling at the challenge.
"I suppose we will." Takina replied.
With that, the whole class was fired up and went to change. Takina went along with them, casting a look over at Korosensei and Karasuma as she passed them. The look, to them, said it all.
Takina knew she wouldn't be caught.
After changing, the students were given a head start to make way onto the back mountain. Takina headed out with the same group she had been in during their trips to Kyoto and Okinawa. This put her with Karma, Nagisa, Kayano, Okuda, Sugino, and Kanzaki. It wasn't a bad group, if she was honest, and she had grown use to being paired up with the group.
That being said...she had no intention of sticking around.
"Playing Cops and Robbers brings back old memories!" Sugino said suddenly, all smiles. "Even making use of the height in this huge field really gets my heart pounding!"
"I never played games like this before." Takina remarked, which wasn't surprising to the others. To them, her father didn't really give off the "fun dad" vibe. "But, I'm sure if my father could see their practical use, he might have allowed it."
"You really think so? You're dad doesn't strike me as the type of approve of any kind of games." Sugino remarked.
"Normally, he wouldn't, but if he could see some kind of practical use to playing the game, then he's not completely against it. This kind of thing...it would be right up his alley." Takina replied, looking around them. "Anyway, Karasuma-sensei will be starting soon. It would be a good idea to put as much distance between us and him as possible."
The others agreed, and they moved out. They managed to get a good distance from the school building before Karasuma moved into action. Unfortunately, some of their classmates weren't so lucky. Karasuma moved quickly, tagging out first Hayami, Chiba, Fuwa, and Okajima, and then Sugaya and Irina. Peering at her phone, Kayano listed off those already caught.
"Oh no. We keep getting done in. It's a back mountain massacre." Kayano said, over dramatizing the whole thing.
"Weren't we just being arrested?" Nagisa asked.
"Ah. But this is Cops and Robbers, right?" Okuda asked.
"That's it! If we tag the robbers in the jail cell, we can release them! Right, Takin...guys, where's Takina?" Sugino asked, turning to talk to Takina, only to find the girl gone.
All of them turned, looking around, but there was no sign of the girl. Not even her footprints in the dirt.
"She was just here." Nagisa remarked.
"Well, she did say they wouldn't find her if she didn't want them to. Can't really accomplish that in a big group, right? She'll pop back up eventually." Karma told them.
He had no doubt that the girl was somewhere on the mountain, carefully climbing over trees and backtracking over her tracks, anything and everything to throw Karasuma off her trail as she found a place to hide herself away. Seeing Karma's confidence in Takina and her skills, Sugino shrugged it off, his mind going back to saving their captured classmates.
"Let's go save them and go back to the beginning!" Sugino cheered, taking off before anyone else could say something.
The others followed him as he bounced from one rock face to the next, heading back towards the school.
"He sure is an idiot, that Sugino." Karma remarked, making Nagisa look at him. "Until the last minute, he said he wouldn't move from the front of the jail cell. Who'd be able to tag them without that mach speed octopus noticing. If we could do that, we would've killed him a long time ago."
When they reached the edge of the trees and bushes where they could observe the jail space, they found Korosensei dutifully patrolling the area while making the students captured do math drills. As they watched Karasuma continued to tag out the other students, one after another. At that rate, he would take them all out.
It was then that Okajima got an idea. Pulling photos out of his pocket, he presented Korosensei with photos of women in swimsuits. Korosensei accepted the bribe, turning his back and allowing Nagisa and Sugino to tag the "prisoners" back into the game. Ritsu reported to Karasuma that all of the prisoners had escaped.
From there started a trend of the students finding new ways to trick Korosensei into letting them go. Of course, the whole thing was annoying Karasuma. After the fourth time of the students escaping, Karasuma told him that if he let another students get away than he was quitting.
But, by that point, the damage was done.
During their time caught, Korosensei had given the students tips on how to avoid Karasuma, for noticing him quicker and covering their trails. They knocked down their groups to four men cells to patrol in every direction and pass on information to each other. It didn't keep Karasuma from still tagging them, but it made it difficult to get as many as he had earlier.
It was in the middle of this that Karasuma stopped, realizing something that brought him to a stop, his mind racing. It had been close to almost an hour of them being out there and he had, at least, caught a glimpse of every student in the class.
Every student...but one.
Takina.
Karasuma had not seen hide or hair of Takina, anywhere. With her white hair and fair complexion, he should have, at least, caught a brief glance of her somewhere. But there was nothing. He had seen each of her classmate, had tagged over half of them at least once, but not her. Where could she had gotten off to that he hadn't even found tracks leading to her? The thought had him turning on the spot, scanning the trees around him.
Had she been tailing him the whole time and that was how she stayed out of sight?
No, that couldn't be it.
He would have caught her by then.
So that still begged the question...where was she?
Dwelling on it wasn't going to help him, though. He could leave the finding of Takina to Korosensei. All he had to do was tag out all of the rest. If, at the last minute mark, Takina was the only one left standing, then it would be simple for Korosensei to track her scent and bring her back, therefore, saving Karasuma's wallet.
With that in mind, Karasuma continued about his course. Breaking free of some bushes, he was instantly confronted by a group made up of Meahara, Kataoka, Okano, and Kimura. Minus Takina, they were easily the four that excelled the most in mobility. When he came into sigh, Meahara held up a hand and beckoned him forward with one finger.
It was a silent challenge to Karasuma.
"The cliff ahead on the left is dangerous, so don't enter that area. Other than that, this fight is on." Karasuma told them.
"Roger!" they all called before they darted off in different directions.
Karasuma followed them, the five of them darting through the trees. He was impressed with how well the four were managing to run away, taking all the basics they had mastered from the first semester to use against him. That being said, he still managed to get the best of them, tagging Meahara last. With that done, he turned to his phone.
"You ran pretty far, impressive. But it'll soon be the last minute." Karasuma told them. While he hadn't managed to get all but Takina, he didn't think it would be a big deal for Korosensei. "If he moves, this Cops and Robbers game will end with your loss."
"He...hehehe...it's our win, Karasuma-sensei." Meahara replied.
"What?"
Karasuma turned to look at the four students.
"Because, Karasuma-sensei, you don't fly through the sky together with Korosensei, do you?" Okano asked.
"Of course not. If I had that sort of leisure, I would've stabbed him." Karasuma replied.
"Then, Karasuma-sensei, you can't go back to the pool from here within a minute, can you?" Kataoka said.
It was then that Karasuma caught on to their plan. The four had lured him so far away from the pool, it would be humanly impossible for him to make it back before the hour was up. Leaving only Korosensei to tag them, they had three of their classmates, who could hold their breaths the longest, hide at the bottom of the pool with anti-sensei knives, where Korosensei couldn't get to them without putting himself at risk. There, they ran out the last minute.
"Time's up! Complete capture unsuccessful. The robbers win!" Ritsu called as Karasuma and Maehara's group headed back.
When the students were all back together, they let out a cheer. They had managed to outwit two teachers. It was then, though, scanning his students, that Karasuma, yet again, noticed something.
"Where's Itamatsu?" he asked.
The others stopped, everyone looking around. There was still no sign of the girl, but now that Karasuma had asked...
"I didn't even catch a whiff of her scent on the mountain past the first few hundred yards." Korosensei remarked.
All eyes turned to him in surprise. Takina had managed to even hide her own scent from Korosensei? But the question was...how?!
"I told you, you wouldn't find me."
Everyone whipped around at the sound of Takina's voice, looking up to find the girl sitting on a tree limb, book open in her lap. She looked perfectly comfortable, leaning back against the tree trunk, her legs crossed and sprawled out along the limb.
"Takina! Where have you been?!" Sugino asked. "You just vanished."
"Right here, pretty much." Takina replied. "When we neared the pool, I split off from the rest of you, took a dunk, fully clothed, and then found a patch of mountain plants with particularly strong smells and rolled around in them for a while. I merely washed away my scent and replaced it with something stronger. Then I came back to the school building, grabbed a book, and have pretty much been right here, the whole time, watching as you guys bribed and tricked Korosensei into letting you go."
"But none of us saw you for a even a second!" Meahara retorted.
"Like I said...if I don't want you to know I'm here, you're not going to know. You don't live this long with hair as easy to spot as mine and not learn how to hide from sight." Takina retorted. "After all these years of running away from my father's foul moods...I have perfected the art of hiding in plain sight."
Takina marked her place in her book, snapped it close and turned, swinging her legs off the branch. Looking down at them, she sat the book in her lap.
"I do believe you owe us cake, now."she called down before she grabbed her book and jumped from the branch. Hopping from one tree limb to the next, she made her way down to the ground, landing squarely on her feet. "I like marble with buttercream frosting, or cheesecake."
The other students couldn't help but laugh at that. Leave it to Takina to make a vague comment about her father's possible abuse and then turn around and talk sweets, all with the same tone of voice and expression, as if one was no different than the other.
Karasuma and Korosensei, though, were confronted, yet again, by the fact that Takina was not like their other students. The way she moved, spoke, and acted, spoke of a girl who had never had a childhood. She had been forced to grow up too soon, had been thrust into learning things that normal girls her age wouldn't already know before entering a class like Class E.
One of these days, Karasuma and Korosensei were going to have to have a talk with Takina's father.
"Anyways, I found it interesting to watch...Karasuma-sensei, Korosensei, even though you two don't work well together, you're very sync when it comes to teaching." Takina remarked, steering the conversation in a different direction.
"Of course. We are both instructors." Korosensei said, changing in a flash. "If there are students before us, we feel the need to nurture them. Because that is the instinct of every instructor."
"Look at the dirty cop saying something respectable. Aren't you better suited to be a robber?" Terasaka demanded.
"Nyah! What are you saying to this holy man?!" Korosensei demanded.
"Holy man?" Takina repeated lowly, giving Karma and Nagisa a questioning look.
The two merely shrugged their shoulders, just as clueless as her.
"How could your sensei possibly be a-"
Korosensei cut off as a page of a newspaper blew in on the wind, as if perfectly timed by some deity, and landed right at the students' feet. There, on the page, it displayed an article about an underwear thief out stealing panties in the area around Kunugigaoka. A thief, the article said, that had a bizarre laugh that went, "Nurufufu.".
Talk about ill timing.
-0-0-0-0-
"We're sliding out swimmingly this second semester as well! The trust between the students and myself have also strengthened. As usual, today, the students will gaze at me with their eyes of affection-"
Whatever Korosensei had hoped the day would bring, when he walked into the classroom, what he found, was definitely not it. Glaring back at him from where they were all gathered around Nakamura, who held the local newspaper in hand, the students greeted him with looks of disgust. Takina, who had another copy of the newspaper at her desk, sat forward to read a few lines from the article.
"An underwear thief specializing in targeting large-breasted women. The culprit is a large man, with a yellow head. Nurufufufu...he laughs, and leaves behind a mysterious goo at the scene of the crime. That has to be you, Korosensei." Takina remarked as Nakamura handed her newspaper over to Korosensei.
"Honestly, I'm disappointed." Mimura remarked.
"How could you do this?" Yada demanded.
"P-please, wait a minute! Sensei doesn't know anything about this!" Korosensei insisted.
"Then, what's your alibi?" Hayami asked. "Late last night, when this incident occurred, where were you and what were you doing?"
"Well...I was shaking around some french fries while moving up and down between the heights of ten thousand meters and thirty thousand meters." Korosensei replied.
"Who the hell could confirm that!?"
"There's no point in having an alibi in the first place." Yoshida remarked.
"No matter where he is, for the most part, he can return to town in an instant." Hazama agreed.
"Hold on, guys! We can't just accuse him like that! It's true that Korosensei ahs a lot of little worldly desires. But, if you think about all the things he's done until now, the worst he's done is...picking up and reading porno magazines, and...being bribed by photos of girls in swimsuits, and...staring at gravure magazines during break like he's lost it, and... "Hand bras won't do. Please let me give you a tentacle bra.", he'll write out as requests on postcards, and-"
"Isogai, let me stop you right there." Takina said, walking up to Isogai to lay a hand on his shoulder. "You're not doing him any favors."
Isogai could see her point, trailing off as disgust set in for him, as well.
"Sensei...please, tell us the truth." he demanded.
"Not you too, Isogai! Sensei is innocent. The nerve! Alright, everyone come to Sensei's desk in the preparation room! In order to prove the strength of Sensei's mind, I will throw away all the gravure magazines in my desk this instant!" Korosensei insisted, leading them to the teacher's lounge. There, they stood in the door way as he started pulling the magazines out of his desk. "Look! I will remove all the contents of my desk and-"
Korosensei cut off as he suddenly pulled two bras out of his desk. Korosensei froze on the spot, Takina heaving a sigh. To make matters worse, Okano showed up with the class roll book. Inside, letters had been written next to each of the girls' names showing what their cup sizes were. Takina looked over Maehara's shoulder as he looked at the page. Sure enough, there was a "D" written next to her name.
Takina had the sudden urge to smack someone.
Though, she felt worse for Kayano, who was the only one with "Forever 0" written next to her name.
Then Meahara flipped the page to the last page.
"And, the last page...a list of people in the city with F cups and higher." Meahara said.
"And I thought Okajima was bad." Takina remarked, crossing her arms over her chest, as if to hide her chest from view.
"Wa...ho...that can't be...I-I know! Let's all have a barbecue, right now!" Korosensei insisted, pulling out a cooler and opening it. "I thought we'd have one after school and prepared these! Now, take a look at these skewers! Don't they look deli..."
Korosensei trailed off as he pulled skewers out of the cooler that were no more than bras on the metal sticks. Muttering rippled through the class as the sight of even more evidence against Korosensei's innocence. Takina couldn't do anything more than shake her head and walk away. The whole thing was ridiculous.
For the rest of the day, Korosensei was on pin and needles, and left the class as soon as the lesson was over. Takina figured it was difficult to be one's usual excited self when they were being accused of such a thing.
"Ahaha. He was on pins and needles all day! Don't you think he's running away because he can't handle being here?" Karma asked, obviously pleased with the whole thing.
"But, did Korosensei really do it?" Nagisa asked.
"Compared to a world explosion, isn't this cute?" Karma retorted, making Takina look at him from the next desk over.
"If you're going to call this cute...do I need to start minding my underwear around you?" she asked.
Seeing the almost disgusted look on Takina's face as he looked at him, Karma grinned. Leaning to the side and lowering his voice, Karma said something that Takina never thought she'd hear from him.
"If it's you...always."
Having not heard what he said, the others stared as Takina stiffened, her cheeks turning a faint shade of pink before she turned her head away from Karma, making the boy laugh.
"Why are you blushing?" Karma demanded.
"I'm not. Why would I blush because of an immature, perverted boy like you?" Takina retorted, only making Karma's grin grow.
He had finally found something that instantly got to her, giving him a reaction he had yet to get out of her before. He could definitely roll with this and use it to his advantage. After all...he was a normal, healthy, teenage boy with normal, health teenage boy thoughts. Nagisa, though, drew Karma's attention away from Takina and back to the subject at hand.
Something that Takina was thankful for.
"As I was saying...if I were a mach twenty underwear thief-" Karma started.
"Thank god you're not." Takina butted in.
"I wouldn't suddenly leave around these ragged pieces of evidence. Look, Nagisa. The ball that was in the PE storage." Karma said, holding up a basketball that had been fitted with a frill bra. "If he did something like this, he knows he would be dead to us as a teacher. For the instructor-freak monster, I think losing our trust is something he'd want to avoid as much as being assassinated."
"Yeah...I think so too." Nagisa agreed.
"But then the question becomes...who did it if not Korosensei?" Takina asked.
"A fake. A fake Korosensei!" Fuwa exclaimed. "The convention of a hero's tale! It's the work of an imposter, the evil villain!"
"We have got to stop letting her read manga." Takina remarked, Nagisa and Kayano nodding in agreement.
"The fact that he imitates his body color and laugh means that the culprit is someone who's acquired information on Korosensei!" Fuwa continued, ignoring Takina's comment. "I'll have Ritsu help me look for clues."
"Sounds like a plan. Although, I have no idea why they'd do something like this." Karma said, getting to his feet. At any rate, if these rumors spread out and our bounty couldn't stay in town anymore, we'd have nothing to gain. Why don't we beat the hell out of the real culprit on our own and have that octopus owe us one?"
With this, Karma dragged Terasaka and Takina into the whole thing. Between those two, Karma, Nagisa, Fuwa, and Kayano, they were sure to have a team that could accomplish the goal. After agreeing to meet up that night, dressed and ready to sneak around and find the true culprit, they went their separate ways.
Takina turned to her bag, loading her books up inside while Nagisa and Karma waited for her. Zipping her bag up, she threw the bag over her shoulder and turned to them, the three leaving the classroom to head home.
"Looks like I'll be going out tonight, then." Takina remarked, mentally making a note to feed Sergio before she left.
"I can come over and help you pick out an outfit, if you want." Karma teased.
"Yeah, that's not going to happen, you little creep." Takina told him.
Nagisa chuckled awkwardly while Karma grinned as she shot him a glare. After his comment earlier, there was no way she was letting him back in her apartment unless he was full restrained.
Even then, that was iffy.
Though, if she was being honest...the idea of a full restrained Karma that she could torment and torture, was very appealing.
END
Kyandi: ...pfttttt!
Takina: You just had to make him say that.
Kyandi: Well...he is a teenage boy. They do tend to have thoughts like that.
Takina: And then that last line!
Kyandi: You can't say you wouldn't have fun chaining him up and sticking mustard and wasabi up his nose like he's done in the past.
Takina: ...Okay, that would be amusing.
Kyandi: See? I didn't necessarily mean it in an appropriate way.
Takina: But you're happy to let the readers think you did.
Kyandi: Maybe, maybe not.
Takina: Ugh...you make my head hurt.
Kyandi: You're welcome. Anyway, everyone enjoy and review!
Takina: We'll return as soon as possible.
Kyandi: Bye-bye!