DISCLAIMER: This is a work of fiction for which we will receive no compensation, especially since all characters belong to a different Stephenie. But this story helped save the babies, which we are all for.

Thank you, maplestyle :)

How is everyone? Feels like forever since we've been together, yeah? Well, we missed you and would love to stay and chat, but we have a feeling you'd rather hear from our favorite faux-couple right now, so we'll just hush!

Chapter 25

Edward awoke late the next morning cuddling a very warm, deeply asleep Bella. She was plastered against him, every part of her body touching his.

What a way to wake up, he thought, a variety of images flashing through his mind.

He'd woken up in the middle of the night for a drink of water and came back to the bedroom to find it empty. Bella had been in the bathroom to freshen up and when he saw her in the hallway, he crossed the room in four strides and pressed her against the wall. She locked her legs around his waist, and he took her there, fast and furious.

They fell asleep again, and he woke up around sunrise to the sensation of Bella using her mouth to make him see stars. He stopped her - because he was about to come right down her throat - carried her to the dining room, and laid her on the kitchen table. The ancient but sturdy table made quite a ruckus as they went for round three, but Edward didn't care.

Especially when Bella made him lie on his back so she could ride him.

Edward shuddered at the memory, his body yearning for round four. Bella shifted and murmured something in her sleep, and he smiled down at her, opting not to disturb her. With the first event of the day being a big family lunch at Matteo's Restaurant, he decided to grab them some breakfast from the main house now so Bella could eat whenever she got up. He splashed some water on his face, brushed at his teeth, and threw on some clothes before jogging toward his mother's kitchen.

Upon entering the room, he saw Leah, Rachel, Charlotte, and his mom sitting at the kitchen table drinking their morning coffee. None of them would look at him, and he figured he must have walked in on an argument about manicures or Jennifer Aniston's hair or something. He smiled sleepily in their general direction and grabbed himself a cup of coffee.

"Morning," he said with his back to them.

No one replied, and Edward realized he sounded a little hoarse. So he took a good sip and tried again, facing them this time. "Good morning."

"Yes," Charlotte said, looking at him strangely. "I believe it is."

Leah burst out laughing, and Rachel looked down, hiding her face.

"What is going on?" he asked.

"You know what!" Leah said through chuckles.

Edward frowned. "I'm afraid I don't."

"Bro, you so got laid last night!" she cried.

"What the..." Edward looked at his mother, who he'd noticed wasn't looking at him either. "Mom!"

"What are you, twelve? Deal with it yourself." She flipped a page in her magazine. "I had enough to handle yesterday."

"What happened yesterday?" he asked.

Everyone looked at him, and Rachel snorted. "Damn, that must have been some hot sex if he's already forgotten."

"Oh, that." Edward leaned against the counter, facing the table. "I mean, what happened besides... what did Bella call her? Oh yeah, 'Satan's whore' showing up on her broomstick?"

"Kate," they said.

Edward sipped his coffee. "Oh."

"She says she's sorry, Edward," his mother said.

"I'm sure she is," he said dryly.

"She was 100% wrong, and I've let her know that," his mother said. "But I think, somewhere in her misguided way, she was only trying to..."

"To what? Help? Make me happy?"

"Both?" his mother replied dubiously.

"Right. And she thought the best way to do that was to bring that woman to the family reunion when I was here with my new girlfriend?"

"Well, when you put it like that..." Elizabeth trailed off then shrugged. "You're right. I don't know what the hell she was thinking."

"And anyway," Edward continued, "if she's so sorry, then why isn't she here apologizing to me? Or why hasn't she come to the guest house to make amends in person?"

His sisters all burst into laughter, Leah wiping tears from her eyes. Even his mom was smiling.

"What the hell is so funny?!" he cried.

"Well, actually she did." Charlotte said.

"Who did what?" he asked.

"Kate. She did go to the guest house to apologize," Charlotte said, struggling to keep a straight face. "We all did, to make sure she didn't start more drama."

"When?" Edward demanded. "Because I sure didn't see you, and Bella didn't mention anything."

His mother flipped a page in her magazine. "It was earlier this morning, dear."

"This morning? Why?"

"Oh, you know we love our sunrise walks this time of year. The sun is so beautiful through the trees, and... well, anyway, on the way back from our walk, Kate remembered you going for a run yesterday morning and wanted to catch you before then. We stopped by the cottage, and you were there, but... well, you were otherwise..." She glanced at him, a twinkle in her eyes. "Occupied."

"Occupied?" he asked, his voice cracking at the end.

"Yes, 'occupied,' Eddie," Charlotte smiled.

He swallowed hard as his stomach dropped. "Occupied as in..."

"As in 'Damn, Bella ... that's it... yeah, baby...'" Rachel imitated.

"Yeah, baby..." Leah continued. "Ride me hard... just like that... fuck yes.…"

"Oh my god!" Edward cried, his face flaming red.

"You said that, too," Charlotte said, causing the girls to erupt in laughter again.

"Okay, girls, that's enough." Elizabeth said. "Edward is embarrassed and rightfully so. I would feel the same way if I got caught having sex on great-grandmother's dining room table."

He blinked at them. "You saw us?!"

"We did," Charlotte said. "Close the curtain next time."

"And don't be so loud," his mother said. "We have noise ordinances in this part of town."

"And congrats, Eddie." Leah patted him on the shoulder. "I didn't know Bella was that flexible."

"She did win that game of Twister yesterday," Rachel said.

Leah nodded at her. "That's true."

"But her knees must be aching after being on that table." Charlotte tsked. "Did you offer to rub her down?"

"I think that's how it started!" Leah said, and they howled again.

"I hate this family," Edward muttered as he grabbed a container and filled it with pancakes and fresh fruit. He grabbed the carafe of coffee - there was cream and sugar at the cottage - and a can of whipped cream. He put it in a basket and headed for the door.

"Edward dear?" Charlotte asked innocently. "What's the whipped cream for?"

He stopped walking. "Because we used it all last night..."

"I'll bet you did," Leah snickered.

"On the pie!" he cried.

"Mmmmm," Rachel said. "Pie..."

"UGHHH!" Edward slammed the back door, the sound of their laughter mocking him as he headed back toward the cottage.

He really wished he had a brother.

***STYB***

Bella woke up and stretched, wincing at the telling ache in her muscles. As she rolled onto her back, a smile spread across her face. She had finally, finally made love with Edward. After months of teasing and snarking and waiting and wanting, they'd finally done it.

And hot damn was it worth the wait.

Bella knew he was a skilled surgeon, but he was downright gifted in bed and everywhere else they'd been. The things he could do with his hands and his tongue and especially his…

"Hey."

She looked up with a stupid grin on her face to find him in the leaning against the doorway looking good enough to eat.

Again.

"Hey, yourself," she said back, sitting up. She'd put on a semi-sheer tank and boy shorts after round three, but the way he was looking at her, she may as well have been naked. "Everything okay?"

"Better now with you awake. Are you hungry?"

"I could eat." She moved to get out of bed, and he shook his head.

"Did I tell you to get up? Stay put, I'll be right back."

Bella propped up the pillows and leaned against them with a satisfied smile. Hot sex all night long then breakfast in bed? So far, being Edward's real girlfriend was the best thing that ever happened to her.

He soon returned with a silver serving tray serving a full pancake breakfast with all the trimmings. She was surprised by the red rose on the tray and raised an eyebrow at the can of whipped cream.

"It's for the pancakes," he said as he set the tray on the bed.

"Pity."

He grinned and shook his head. "Eat."

"Yes, sir." She decorated her pancakes with some berries and a few dollops of whipped cream. "Aren't you hungry?"

"I don't usually eat this early."

"Not a morning person, huh? Well, that's..." She took a bite of her food and moaned around the fork. "Damn, that's good."

She didn't say another word, and Edward watched in fascination as she shoveled her food in. Where the hell did she put it all?

Bella noticed how he was looking at her. "What?"

"Nothing. Just glad you're enjoying your breakfast."

"I am, thank you." She looked at him. "You sure you don't want any?"

"Any what?" he asked, his eyes full of mischief.

"Any food." She waved her fork over the tray. "I think you had more than enough of that last night. And this morning."

"I don't think I could ever get enough of that," he murmured. "Especially your voice."

"My voice?"

"Yeah." His eyes went out of focus as he remembered. "Those little sounds you make and all the shit you talk... I didn't realize you'd talk so much during sex. But I guess that makes sense based on how you don't know when to shut up most of the ti—"

"Here." Bella shoved a forkful of pancakes into his mouth. "Maybe you do need some breakfast."

He chewed them with an appreciative hum, licking cream from the corner of his mouth while holding her gaze. Bella flushed and sipped her coffee, not willing to give him the last word.

"You got a lot of nerve saying I talk a lot during sex," she said. "I don't recall you being very quiet either, especially this morning."

"I know I wasn't, as my mother and sisters informed me this morning."

Bella's eyes widened. "I'm sorry, what?"

Edward told Bella what happened at this house, and her face turned red then pale then red again.

"Well, that's settles it." She dabbed at her mouth with a napkin. "I'm never leaving this cottage again."

"Think of how I feel," he said. "My mother saw me going at it with my girlfriend on the table her grandparents gave her as a wedding gift."

"No, think of how I feel. Your sisters and your mother saw me bending my legs in a way no one's legs should go."

"Leah did compliment you on your flexibility."

"Oh my god..."

"Hey, it's all right. I'm not ashamed of what we did or why." He tucked a hair behind her ear. "Are you?"

"No."

"Then fuck 'em," he said. "We'll go to lunch with our heads held high."

"Right," Bella said. "And if that doesn't work, we'll just drive away from the restaurant and disappear forever."

"We could do that." Edward kissed her then pulled back with a smirk. "But I have a better idea."

***STYB***

Edward and Bella arrived at Matteo's ten minutes late, Edward rushing in to speak to his mother and sisters alone. Leah was gearing up to make a smart remark, but Edward cut her off.

"Bella's right behind me, so listen up," he said. "I didn't want things to be awkward today..."

"Me either," Elizabeth said. "Which is why I'm relieved that Kate decided to skip lunch."

Edward hadn't even noticed she wasn't there. "That's nice, but this is more important. Bella doesn't know you guys caught us this morning."

Leah sobered. "What?"

"If she knew, she'd be too embarrassed to face you, and I couldn't have that. Which means you have to act like everything is normal, okay? No jokes, no innuendo, and no funny looks. Bella really likes you all, and if she knew what you saw..."

"You're right," his mother said. "That wouldn't be funny."

"At all," Rachel added.

"We hear you, Edward," Charlotte said seriously. "And we promise to behave."

He breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank you."

"Sorry we were late," Bella said as she entered the lobby. "I wanted to return the dishes and things we borrowed from the house."

"How thoughtful of you," Elizabeth beamed.

"Yeah," Leah said. "You've got far better manners that Eddie here."

"I don't know about that," Bella said casually. "He's got excellent table manners from what I've experienced."

Rachel blinked as Leah's face froze. "Um... sure."

The host approached their party. "Mrs. Cullen? Right this way."

Elizabeth had to pull her incredulous gaze from Bella. "Uh, yes, thank you."

The host escorted them to their private banquet room where a few more servers waited to assist with seating everyone. This year, the kids and teens each had their own tables and got to select their pre-ordered apps and entrees, and Levi slipped the redheaded host ten bucks as a thank you.

"Good lookin' out, man," he said.

Edward held Bella's hand as they approached the large table where they'd dine with the result of the adults. Edward seated Bella beside him and across from his sisters. The servers took their drink orders and hurried away, leaving the diners to peruse the menu. Elizabeth had tried to pre-order for the adults in the past, but everyone always wanted what everyone else had or the entrees she hadn't picked. It cost a lot extra to do things this way, but she'd do anything to make her family happy.

"Do you like Italian food, Bella?" Charlotte asked.

"Very much." She scanned the pasta offerings. "Though my favorite part of the menu is dessert."

"Dessert?" Rachel asked.

"Oh, yes. Cannoli, tiramisu, gelato."

Elizabeth chuckled. "A real sweet tooth, huh?"

"Mm-hmmm," Bella replied. "I'll devour anything I can slather in whipped cream."

Leah choked on nothing, and Charlotte patted her back. "Breathe," she murmured.

Bella frowned. "You okay, Leah?"

Leah nodded, grabbing the wine glass out of the air when her server returned. She gulped half of it down in one swig. "Leave the bottle," she said.

"This is a nice change," Edward said brightly. "Eating in a restaurant."

"Why?" Rachel asked. "You usually eat out of a tin can under a bridge?"

"Just about," Bella said. "But a fine tin can it is, babe."

He rolled his eyes playfully. "Ha-ha."

"But he's right," Bella said. "We have so many meals on the fly or in the cafeteria, if we eat at all. It's nice to have cloth napkins and real plates for a change."

"Yes," Elizabeth said. "And the low centerpieces are a really nice touch."

"I'm really impressed with the furniture," Bella said.

"Oh?" Leah asked warily.

"Yes," Edward said. "Her mother's house is full of antiques, so she's got quite an eye."

"Oh," Leah said, breathing a sigh of relief. "That makes sense."

"The chairs and sideboards alone are probably worth a fortune. And this table?" Bella ran her hand over the top, knocking twice. "It's good and sturdy. Could probably support all our weight with no problem."

Edward's mother and sisters all reached for their wine glasses and took hearty sips, causing Edward to glare at them. But Bella was checking out the rest of the décor and appeared not to notice.

"Here are some fresh rolls," said the second server, balancing three bowls. "Also included some seasoned warm oil and our house marinara for dipping. I'll be back to take your orders in a moment."

"Thank you," Elizabeth said, looking at her family. "Let's dig in!"

Edward offered Bella two rolls and set them on her plate.

"I just love their marinara," Elizabeth said. "It's the reason I chose this restaurant."

"Legit one of the best in the country," Rachel added.

"That's quite an endorsement," Bella said, spooning some onto her plate.

"You won't regret it," Elizabeth said.

Bella dipped her roll in the sauce, closing her eyes as she took a bite. The tang of the sauce with the warm softness of the roll was a delectable combination, and she nodded in appreciation.

"Mmmmmm," she moaned. "That is sooooo good... oh yesssss... mmm-hmmmm..."

The table went absolutely silent, save Edward's brothers-in-law chatting obliviously at the other end of the table. Rachel clamped a hand over her mouth, Charlotte and her mother turned beet red, and Leah just stared at her.

Bella kept her eyes closed, but when she finished chewing and cooing, she sipped her wine, dabbed the corners of her mouth with her napkin, and looked at Leah. "And yes, I am quite flexible. Thank you for the compliment."

Leah blinked. "What do you mean?"

Edward took Bella's hand and kissed the back of it then looked at Leah. "Gotcha!"

Rachel looked at Bella. "You knew?"

Bella snorted. "Of course, I knew. But I thought we deserved to have some fun too. Well, a different kind of fun."

The table fell silent again until Elizabeth chuckled to herself. The rest of her daughters joined in, and in seconds, the adult table erupted in laughter. Leah had tears running down her face, Rachel gasped for breath, and Charlotte was practically falling out of her chair.

"Are you okay?" a bewildered Peter asked his wife.

She waved him off, unable to do anything but laugh.

The Cullen teenagers looked over at the adult table and shook their heads in collective disapproval.

"And they call us immature," Leo said.

RL is kicking both our butts in different ways, so thanks for sticking with us.

Story rec: LyricalKris actually has an original novel out, "Never Enough." It was so addictively good that ladylibre read it one sitting and nearly forgot to feed herself or her kids. "I regret nothing!" she says. Available at Amazon under her real name, Kristina M. Sanchez.

Also our very own Cecilia Rene has released "The Bachelor Duke" - yay! Go check out both books and buy them today!

See you in two weeks, kids! XO