Maleficent and Hades stared each other down, both unblinking. Zorg suddenly had the urge to be literally anywhere else in the universe than here. Though he had no idea who Maleficent was or what she could do, Zorg knew better than to be in the middle of a battle between gods. The barometric pressure in the atmosphere seemed to be increasing.
"Did you come to apologize?" Hades asked. "Cuz I'm all ears, sweetcheeks."
"Apologize?" Maleficent asked with fury echoing in her voice. "How dare you suggest such a thing! I came because of your conduct!"
"Oy, there she goes again," Hades said, turning to Zorg. "Always blaming me for my reactions instead of, y'know, considering that her actions started this mess."
"Do not attempt to shame me in the presence of this mortal," Maleficent warned.
Zorg backed away slowly. "The mortal really doesn't wanna get involved here."
"You were the one with ridiculous delusions of romance dancing about in your head," Maleficent continued.
"You were all for it at first," Hades said. "Remember that, Miss 'Perhaps I'd like to finally know what it is like to be valued in such way'? Heh? Was that all just a fib, or is the Mistress of All Evil just fickle?"
Maleficent stood silent and glared at Hades. At one time, he would have recoiled from her out of fear and respect, but now he met her glare with equal intensity, unwavering in his insolence. A small part of Maleficent had to admit that she found his determination to be endearing, yet Hades was quickly becoming a greater hassle than he was worth.
"Go then," Maleficent said, turning her back to Hades. "If you are to continue to act as an infant, I have little use for you among my Overtakers. You may consider our alliance dissolved."
Maleficent's words hit Hades like a ton of bricks (not that a ton of bricks would phase a god, mind you). He had expected her to realize his value to the Overtakers and change her mind, not completely sever their ties. This wasn't at all the outcome he wanted.
"You came all this way just to cut me out, huh?" Hades asked. "That's cold, bitch. Even for you."
"I came all this way to convince you of the folly of your actions so that you may return to my side," Maleficent explained without turning back around to face him. "But now I see that such a desire was merely a hope in vain. You are naught but a liability at this stage."
Hades expected rage. He'd expected to turn a bright shade of orange with fury. Anger was always his rock that he could cling to. Yet Maleficent's words left him feeling not angry, but, rather, empty. The two of them had shared a connection unlike any others in the Overtakers. Maleficent had been special to him. And now everything was done. Gone. Hearing her call him nothing more than a liability hurt worse than any lightning bolt she could hurl his way.
"Did I really mean nothing to you?" Hades asked.
Maleficent wasn't prepared for that of all questions. "It is not a matter of meaning, but of risk. You of all people should understand that."
Hades shook his head in disbelief. "I rebuilt your castle. I actually did something nice for you. Me. The Lord of the Dead. Did something NICE!"
"And I loathe and despise nice," Maleficent said as she vanished into a Corridor of Darkness.
Hades just stood there, gaping at where the evil fairy once was.
"What was I thinking being NICE?" Hades asked. "I'm not a NICE guy. I'll never be a NICE guy."
Zorg put his arm around Hades's shoulder. "I sympathize with you, my friend."
Hades flared up at the unwanted physical contact, and Zorg suddenly found the sleeve of his jacket on fire. Zorg desperately tried to put out the flames, but stop, drop, and roll was escaping him at this crucial moment.
"OKAY. So. The Overtakers thing is OUT," Hades said, thinking out loud. "Book of Prophecies was a long shot anyway. So I need somethin' to wet my whistle and kick Bolt Boy out on his glowing orange kiester. ZORG!"
Zorg had just managed to put out the flames on his sleeves when Hades called for him. "What can I do for ya, your majesty?"
"I'm feelin' an onset of clarity here, babe," Hades said, staring off into the middle distance at something Zorg couldn't see. "I want... to BURN. EVERY. THING. DOWN!"
Zorg ducked down to prevent being hit in the face by the flared up flames of his new master. Hades was bright orange with passionate rage ready to be directed on a target, and Zorg knew that if Hades didn't get one, then those flames would be turned back on him. And that would just be messy.
"Y'know, there is... uh... somethin' that you might like," Zorg said.
"Spit it out, babe, don't be stingy on me," Hades said, staring down Zorg intently.
Zorg couldn't help but smirk at his plan as he got back on his feet. "How much do you know about Ultimate Evil?"
A newly wed couple strolled down the streets of Radiant Garden's marketplace, shopping for furniture and decorations for their new home together. It was a beautiful day, the sun was shining, and the young lovers were enjoying one another's company greatly.
"Excuse me," a man said as he stepped into their path. "Terribly sorry for interrupting your day. My name is Steve Newlin, I'm the Reverend of the newly restored church down on Orchid Drive. I was wonderin' if y'all had a minute to talk about our Lord and savior."
"No thanks," the husband said as he attempted to walk off.
His wife, however, held him back. "Honey, don't be rude. It's a pleasure to meet you Mr. Newlin. I'm Cheyenne, and the antisocial guy is my husband, Howard."
"I'm pleased to meet y'all as well," Steve replied. "Now this might seem a little strange, but my church is very big on being truthful and fair. And that's why we are teachin' the Gospel of Maleficent."
"Maleficent? What the Hell are you smoking, buddy?" Howard asked. "She's evil incarnate and has tried to destroy the town more times than we can count."
"I know it might seem that way, but that's just propaganda that the Restoration Committee wants you to believe," Steve said. "See, those folks mean well, but they're just tryin' to put Radiant Garden exactly back where it was before Ansem ruined everything. Same slums, same inequalities, same wealthy elite in power. Only difference is that they've just swapped out Ansem the Not-So-Wise for Scrooge McDuck and his business monopoly."
"You're definitely right about some of those problems," Cheyenne said. "I mean, honey, remember when we were kids? We used to have so many beautiful artisans, shops, and mom and pop bakeries. And now today, everything is a McDuck subsidiary with products made in some factory back in Duckberg."
"Exactly," Steve replied. "And the worst part? His profits aren't goin' back into our economy. They're not goin' to charity or the people of Radiant Garden. All of his profits just get shipped back to sit in a giant vault so that he can swim in money and be self indulgent. Now that's just not right from where I'm standing."
"Look, I'm not a fan of McDuck," Howard chimed in. "And the committee definitely has room to improve. But you're talking about Maleficent here. The friggin' Mistress of All Evil."
"Powerful women have always been called evil by the men who fear them," Steve countered, thinking back to Fish's words earlier. "Maleficent is a force of revolution and social change, and that's scary for some people. But she only has everyone's best interests at heart. I mean, good golly, just ask Sora! She helped him save all the worlds from those disgusting Nobodies and Organization XIII! She just wants a better future for everybody. Heck, she's got the support of not one but two gods on her side. She is divinely ordained twice over."
What Steve said made sense to the young couple, but it seemed to go against everything they thought they knew to be true. Still, he made some very strong points, and that was enough to get them both to doubt what they'd been told before. Maybe Maleficent wasn't actually so bad after all.
"Hey, I know it's a lot to take in," Steve said, handing Cheyenne a small purple and black book. "Here, take one of these. It's Maleficent's scripture. This book contains the truth about her and about everything. Read it, pray on it, and then, if you feel the call, come join us over at my church for midnight Mass to find out what we're all about."
"Okay," Cheyenne nodded. "We'll do that. Thank you, Mr. Newlin."
"No problem," Steve said. "I hope I'll see both of y'all there. Have a good rest of your day!"
Steve smiled confidently to himself. He knew he'd gotten through to those two on some level, and that was all he needed to do. The seed was planted, and soon the tree would blossom. Satisfied, he turned and approached a trio of friends waling through the marketplace.
"Excuse me. Terribly sorry for interrupting your day. My name is Steve Newlin, I'm the Reverend of the newly restored church down on Orchid Drive. I was wonderin' if y'all had a minute to talk about our Lord and savior."
Hook shivered at the sight of two dragons flying up ahead off in the distance, remembering the devastation that Maleficent wrought upon Storybrooke. If those two were half as dangerous as she was, the current expedition would be an incredibly difficult one. Doom, Loki, Jafar, and Hook were all dressed in furs and warmer variations of their normal clothes as they made their way into the frozen lands of Emprise du Lion. Snow flakes decorated Jafar and Hook's beards with their chilly elegance.
"All that I have researched has indicated that this highlands area is ripe with the Red Lyrium we seek," Doom indicated.
"Delightful," Jafar said with complete disinterest in his voice. "But I did not come along on this excursion to be made a miner."
"I promised you conquest and conquest you shall have," Loki said. "There are plenty of mortals who infest this region who can be... persuaded to do our bidding. Were it my decision, I'd much prefer an elaborate deception to get what we want, but, as I am a generous god, I have decided that our acquisition will be decided on the field of battle."
"Finally," Jafar said with a grin. "How shall we claim this Emprise du Lion?"
"Suledin Keep is the most powerful stronghold in the region," Doom answered. "If we take the Keep for our own, the local villages will easily be made to bend the knee to our authority."
"I'm guessing it won't be as simple as walking up and putting up our banners," Hook said with a sigh, glancing up nervously towards the dragons.
"As I learned from conversing with the locals on the roads," Loki began, "Suledin Keep is currently being held by an organization known as the Inquisition. However, the Inquisition was officially transitioned to a peace keeping organization with limited resources, and, thus, the various fortresses in their possession are in something of a limbo area. We will likely face little more than tired and cold soldiers."
"Why does that not comfort me?" Hook grumbled to himself.
The quartet of villains proceeded down the icy path towards Suledin Keep, finding very little in the way of opposition and mostly keeping quiet. Hook was the one who broke the silence.
"So I've an inquiry, and given the arcane acumen of the present company, I'd wager one of you will have an answer for me," Hook said. "Back in Storybrooke, the Apprentice told Henry that I wasn't the man he knew... that I was a 'dark revenant.' What the bloody Hell is that supposed to have meant?"
"It means that you are a revenant," Doom answered plainly. "Are you not familiar with the terminology?"
"Well... yes," Hook said. "They're a... partial resurrection, correct? But I always thought revenants to be creatures more akin to your Cauldron Born than one who was actually restored to life."
At that, Loki burst out laughing in such a way that sent chills of terror down Hook's spine. "Oh my dear captain. You don't even know what you are. You see, resurrections are not all created equally. A soul in the Underworld with a strong enough will needs only a flesh vessel to live again, but to summon a soul back to the living realm on shear energy alone is no small feat. That's why creating a revenant is a safer and more favorable alternative."
"So I'm... I'm not the real Hook?" he asked, not fully able to wrap his head around his current existence.
"That's a more a complicated question," Loki answered. "If you want to be technical, the real Hook is rotting in some grave somewhere right now. But you are genuinely a resurrection of some of the 'real' Hook. You're just the parts of Hook that Maleficent wanted to bring back. For example, what do you remember about your childhood?"
Hook paused for a moment and thought to himself, his brow furrowing more and more with each passing second. "I... don't remember any of it... except a few flashes of my father leaving me... and the pain and rage I felt because of that. Bloody Hell..."
"Exactly," Loki said with a smirk. "Because Maleficent just wanted the parts of you that made you Captain Hook, not any of the extra trappings that prompted you to reform in the first place."
"So I am an abomination," Hook muttered to himself.
Jafar placed a sympathetic hand on Hook's shoulders. "Yes, I know... do get over it, we have things to do."
Jafar gestured towards Suledin Keep towering before them.
Baron Edouard Desjardins, the Inquisition's commander of Suledin Keep, kept watch over his men as they made their rounds. They were running low on supplies, and everyone knew it. They wouldn't be able to hold the Keep for more than a couple months. With Corypheus nearly three years dead and the Red Templars no longer a problem, the Keep predominantly served to protect Emprise du Lion's trade routes from bandits and hostile mercenary bands. Yet even maintaining that presence made for a strain on their resources.
Desjardins sighed at the pitiful sight before him and cursed the Orlesian and Fereldan nobles who forcibly crippled the Inquisition even after they'd managed to repel a Qunari invasion. It was a short sighted and self serving decision because they feared for their own power, not because they actually gave a damn about the people or keeping the peace.
"Rejoice to all, for your pitiful fortress has the honor of being annexed by Doctor Victor von Doom," Doom boasted as he casually strolled into the keep. "Kneel before me and be spared."
"FOR THE INQUISITION, MEN!" Desjardins shouted as he gestured for the men to defend the Keep.
"A most poor choice," Doom said. "This is precisely why democracy is overrated."
From the fingertips of his gauntlets, tiny smart bombs flew out and detonated either near or on top of the on rushing soldiers, creating a grizzly sight of flame and chunks of flesh.
"MAGES! ARCHERS!" Desjardins ordered.
The archers' arrowed clanked off Doom's armor harmlessly. A group of three mages joined together to summon a powerful jet of fire to lob at Doom. However, from out of the mist, Jafar flew into the path of the flames and absorbed the fire on the head of his snake staff.
"I believe this magic was YOURS!" Jafar shouted as he hurled the flames back at the mages, incinerating them. "What a pity that you perished so easily. I was just getting WARMED up!"
Two of the soldiers who were less keen on dying to protect the Keep attempted to slip away unnoticed. Yet when they did, they found themselves face to face with Hook.
"Sorry mates, only one way out of this place," Hook said with a fiendish grin.
The two soldiers drew their blades and attempted to charge Hook. It was obvious to Hook that they were inexperienced soldiers, because they left themselves far too open. Hook dodged the swing of the first one's sword easily and drove his sword into the heart of the unlucky soldier. As the second soldier attempted to avenge his fallen ally, Hook used the corpse as a shield to catch his opponent's blade and then drove his hook into the soldier's jugular.
Desjardins watched in horror as Doom, Jafar, and Hook slaughtered his men as if they were nothing but cattle. He knew that he his life would be forfeit, but at the very least he could send word back to the Inquisition. The baron darted for his desk and the cage containing the ravens. He quickly attempted to scribble out a message, yet the ink seemed to vanish from the parchment just as quickly as he had written.
"What the devil?" Desjardins whispered to himself.
"Not the devil," Loki said. "But perhaps something worse."
Like a striking snake, Loki hurled a dagger that buried itself deep into Desjardins's neck. Suledin Keep's lord and master slumped over his parchment, sputtering blood all over the desk. Loki flicked his wrist and the banners of the Inquisition turned into the black, green, and red of the Latverian flag. The battle was over, and the Overtakers had won.
Ursula, or rather "Vance," made her way into Radiant Garden's newly opened bar and night club, Mooney's. Full of glitter and glitz that put Tifa's old shack to shame, Mooney's was sure to be the newest "It-Place" for Radiant Gardeners to flock to. Ursula sat at the last seat at the bar and waved at Fish, who was bartending. Fish finished serving her two customers and strutted over to Ursula with a mischievous smirk on her face.
"I'll need to see I.D. If you're going to sit at the bar," Fish said. "No one under twenty-one allowed. Can't afford to lose my liquor license."
Ursula just laughed at that, knowing that the request was nothing more than playful ribbing. Under the lights of the club, Fish's naturally fierce features were particularly striking, and Ursula just wanted any excuse to stare at her.
"So how'd a nice girl like you wind up in a trashy place like this?" Ursula asked, propping her head up with her knuckles.
Fish picked up a wash cloth and began to wipe the counter while putting on a melodramatic voice. "Fella done me wrong. He done me so wrong."
Fish winked as she put away the rag and started fixing Ursula a drink even though Ursula hadn't ordered yet. Ursula was admittedly unsure if Fish's response was her just playing along with the charade or if she was actually trying to tell her something. Fish slid the glass over to Ursula.
"What'd you expect? Men are pigs!" Ursula replied, taking the drink and having a sip.
Ursula had no idea what the drink she'd just been served was, but it was the most delicious thing she'd ever tasted. Ursula made a mental note to always just have Fish pick out her drinks from now on.
"Oh this one's not so bad," Fish replied, making herself a matching drink. "Not even sure he's a real man, actually. He's smart, powerful, charming, charismatic... The type of guy you just feel more yourself around."
Fish took a coy little sip of her drink, and Ursula knew that Fish was talking about her. The mere notion made Ursula's heart flutter in such a way that it never had before. Ursula desperately wanted to flirt back, but with her Vance disguise still in play, she couldn't afford any potential gossip that might get back to Riku.
"And... what did this fella do that was so wrong?" Ursula asked.
Fish plucked the cherry from the bottom of her glass. "Well, he's off running around with a boy half my age. And even though I know it's all meaningless, a girl can't help being a little... jealous."
Fish then ate the cherry in perhaps the most seductive way that Ursula had ever seen anyone eat a cherry. It drew attention to her ruby red lips and made them look extra kissable. Ursula took a final swig of her drink and slid the empty glass back towards Fish.
"Well maybe the fella can make it up to you sometime," Ursula said.
Fish took the empty glasses from the bar and turned to walk away. "Well he'd better."
Fish winked at Ursula and walked off. With the dress she was wearing, it was impossible not to stare at her hips as she did. Russell pulled up the barstool next to Ursula, wearing his hat and sunglasses to hide his identity.
"Is it done?" Ursula asked, pretending to look over the drinks menu.
"Yes indeed," Russell replied. "Ratigan's contacts panned out. They'll start distributing the potion first thing tomorrow."
"Perfect," Ursula said with a smile creeping onto her face. "It won't be very long now."
Zorg wasn't sure how he was still breathing, but he figured it was better not to question it. He and Hades soared through the black expanse of outer space on Hades's chariot as if they were simply down on solid ground. The chariot pulled up to what appeared to be a second moon orbiting the Earth. Zorg, however, knew very well what it actually was.
"That's what's left of Mr. Shadow," Zorg explained. "Almighty evil petrified by the fifth element."
Hades smirked. "Seems a cryin' shame to leave all that power dead as a doornail. Good thing 'dead as a doornail' is my middle name."
"Is it really?" Zorg asked, earning him an annoyed glare from Hades.
Hades gathered flames in both of his hands, and with a dramatic thrust of his hands propelled two jets of fire into the mass of rock down below. The effects were instantaneous. The light gray turned black and orange as if it were a mass of molten lava. As Mr. Shadow woke, Zorg began to feel nauseous just being in its presence. A warm stream of sweat rolled down Zorg's forehead, but when he tried to wipe it off, he found his hand stained with dark blood.
"Wakey wakey eggs and bakey!" Hades called out. "Mr. Shadow, lookin' good, nice planetary surface. I'm Hades, Lord of the Dead, and the guy who you owe your return to. So, hey, you're gonna do my bidding now."
Mr. Shadow roared in defiance.
"See, I thought you might say that," Hades said, pulling out what appeared to be a ceramic model of Mr. Shadow. "Which is why I had this made."
The model crackled with lightning and smoke and Zorg could see the real Mr. Shadow shaking in pain from whatever Hades was doing.
"Are we clear who's boss now?" Hades asked, letting up on model.
The surface of Mr. Shadow rippled and one word radiated out into both Hades and Zorg's minds: "Yes."
Hades smiled. "Good answer."