Paralyzed

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A/N-thank you to everyone who kindly reviewed the last chapter.

Chapter Thirty-Seven-Reflections and Realisations

Waking up can be really harsh, especially when dreams are better than reality. And so it was for Hux as he opened his sore eyes to find Ren sitting by his bedside instead of Rose. He scowled as the remnants of his pleasant dreams of Rose tending to his every need began to fade into the ether, and all he was left with was a lonely feeling of detachment.

"What do I owe the pleasure?" He sneered hoarsely.

Ben sighed, quickly tiring of dealing with Hux's continued animosity. After the nightmarish ordeal he had recently endured, he lacked the patience to put up with his former rival's sarcasm. "Like it or not, Hux, we are once again on the same side."

"I am on no side. Especially yours." Hux snarled as he struggled to rise into a sitting position. His vision began to swim and he was forced to pause his movements to stop the world spinning on its axis.

"You can keep lying to yourself if it makes you feel better, but your recent actions prove otherwise." Ben said pointedly.

"Force choking me is your way of thanking me, is it?" Hux rested his aching head back on his heaped-up pillows. Never in his lifetime would he ever consider Ren an ally.

Ben sighed in aggravation as his apology got stuck in his throat. "What happened was unfortunate…but you have to see how it looked from our perspective. You were holding a blaster to Beaumont's head…"

Hux turned his head to the side and stared at Ben with disdain. "It must really stick in your craw that I was the one who discovered the spy and not you…the mighty Kylo Ren."

"You can be a real bantha's ass, Hux." Ben snapped as he finally reached his limit with the guy. He watched as Hux narrowed his eyes with contempt as the insult found its mark. "You are the most unpleasant, ungrateful, disagreeable…"

"Ben!" Rey's voice admonished him in his mind as she cut through his tirade. "You are supposed to be thanking Hux not giving him a run down of his better qualities."

His soulmate's veiled attempt at humour caused Ben to smile. "Believe me, sweetheart, those are his better qualities." He saw Hux looking at him oddly, probably thinking he was deranged after his rapid change in mood-angry one minute and smiling to himself the next.

"Now thank him." Rey ordered as her voice began to fade out. "Nicely."

Ben huffed out an irritated breath. "I came here to say thank you for what you did." He forced out through gritted teeth.

"Say it like you mean it, Ren." Hux answered scornfully.

Ben rose to his feet as he matched Hux's hostile glare. "I'm done here. I've said what I had to say. Like it or not, Hux, we are going to have to work together, so I suggest you pull your head out of your backside and get used to it. And you are a bantha's ass." He added under his breath as he finally took his leave.

Having completed the unpleasant duty of thanking Hux, Ben joined the others in the command centre. He found Poe and Rey trying to comfort Rose. The distressed young engineer had finally managed to crack the code, but as soon as she had done so it had triggered a counter security measure, the encrypted file began to delete itself, rendering everything Hux had managed to download onto the flash drive practically useless.

"I am so sorry." She apologised over and over again.

Rey reached out and embraced Rose, letting her cry on her shoulder. "Its not your fault. You did the best you could. It was always going to be a long shot." She comforted her.

Rey knew it was more than just the deleted files that had Rose so upset, it was the knowledge that one of her friends had turned out to be a traitor. She and Kaydel had been the closest to Beaumont, having worked with him on an almost daily basis. She was blaming herself for not discovering that there was something shifty about him. If she had then Armitage wouldn't have put himself in danger to expose Beaumont's duplicity.

"H…how…is Armitage?" Rose stammered as she pulled away from Rey when she saw Ben arrive.

"Disagreeable as ever, so he must be feeling better." Ben responded irritably.

"What?" Rose sniffed as she wiped away her tears with the back of her hand.

"Ben!" Rey scolded him telepathically. "Rose is really upset."

Ben rearranged his features into a something resembling a smile as he looked at Rose. "He's back to his old self."

"Oh, that's good." Rose still looked downcast. "I was planning on visiting him now that's he awake, but…" She sighed heavily. "I don't have the heart to tell him he risked his life for nothing."

Ben's expression softened further when he realised just how much Rose was blaming herself about the whole thing. "I don't think that will matter to him in the slightest. He'll just be glad to see you." He placed the emphasis on you, but Rose was still too upset to pick up on it.

"Maybe." Rose replied sadly, still unconvinced. She looked around at them, her eyes still glistening with tears. "If you'll excuse me, I'll just go and freshen up." She quickly walked out of the command centre with her head down.

Rey really hated seeing Rose so down on herself. She had done nothing wrong. Rey made a mental note to go and visit her friend later to check that she okay. She felt Ben's arm slip around her waist and leaned against him for support. It felt like they were continually tumbling from one disaster to another without being able to pause for breath. She was just so tired. Already her eyes were drooping.

Poe had remained silent thus far. He put his hands on his hips and studied Ben and Rey thoughtfully. Despite resting for almost twenty-four hours, they still looked wiped out. Ben was very pale, but Rey was paler. She looked exhausted. There were dark circles under her eyes. He had noticed how sluggishly she moved, normally so strong and graceful, she had been leaning on Ben more and more for support. Poe was convinced it couldn't just be the pregnancy draining all of her energy, it was still early days. But what did he know? He wasn't a trained medic.

"That was a harrowing experience you went through yesterday. Maybe you should rest some more." He suggested. "Or at least get checked out by Harter."

"I'm fine, but Poe's right about you, sweetheart." Ben looked down at Rey worriedly. Every thought concerning Rey that had passed through Dameron's mind was passing through his tenfold. He had already tried to persuade Rey countless times to go and see Harter, but she stubbornly insisted that nothing was wrong, that it was the morning sickness that was making her feel under the weather. "Please, do it. For me."

Rey opened her mouth to insist that she was perfectly fine, but she couldn't resist the pleading look on his face. "If it makes you feel better. I'll pop by and see her later." She agreed grudgingly.

"Thank you." Ben gave her a relieved smile as he leaned down to kiss her. He let his lips linger on hers for a few seconds before pulling back, mindful that Poe was still there with them.

Ren's visit had unnerved Hux. Despite his sarcastic response to Ren's half assed apology, their conversation had forced him to examine some harsh home truths. Whether he liked or not, fate's cruel humour had decided to place them on the same side once again. He mulled over what had led him to spy for the Resistance in the first place. After Ren's ascendancy to Supreme Leader he had continued to observe military protocol, but no longer did so in spirit—and although he was given a seat on the Supreme Council, he made sure to maintain an uncharacteristically silent presence, being careful not to provoke Ren's temper as he had done in the past. Without Snoke's protection, Hux had been forced to address Ren with the deference due to the latter's power and rank and it galled him.

In private, however, he strongly disapproved of Ren's leadership of the First Order as well as his handling of the war, and was convinced that Ren had gone mad for diverting his attention from the Resistance to investigate Darth Sidious' return. As he watched his career trajectory veer wildly off course, Hux did not completely abandon his scheming nature. In the end, the general who led the vanguard of the First Order's invasion of the galaxy and feeling he had nothing left to lose, had committed the ultimate treason by spying for the Resistance. However, he was not motivated by regret for his actions or a newfound belief in the Resistance's cause. Hux remained remorseless to the end; all he had left was his rivalry with Ren, whose reign he sought to undermine until it ended in defeat. Never in his wildest nightmares would he have envisioned this outcome.

Deep down Armitage knew that his hatred toward Ren was nothing but a transformation of his own private shame and insecurities...he felt weak where Ren was strong. His father's utter contempt toward him, berating him daily with physical and verbal punishments for being weak, snivelling and a complete failure, only served to enhance his desire to show the galaxy that everything he hated about himself, yet lacked the courage to face, couldn't possibly be true. It was far easier to lose himself in the theatrics of his mind, casting himself as the victor, than it was to swallow even an ounce of truth.

"Armitage?" The gentle cadence of Rose's voice brought him out of his bitter thoughts. She was carrying a tray bearing his favourite fruit and a pot of Caf.' A strange kind of happiness flowed through him as she carefully rested the tray on the bedside table and settled down in the chair beside his bed. It was like something out of his dream.

"I wondered if you would come." Hux said huskily.

Rose couldn't quite meet his eyes. She stood again and poured some of the Caf' into a mug, before passing it to him. "I nearly didn't." She admitted hesitantly as she sat back down again.

"Oh…" Hux felt a peculiar sensation behind his eyes and the mug trembled in his hands slightly.

"Armitage, are you okay?" Rose asked anxiously when some of the Caf' slopped over the side of the mug. "Shall I get Harter?"

"No." Hux shook his head, the stern doctor terrified him.

"Then what's wrong?" Rose persisted.

Hux cleared his throat, which had suddenly become tight with the knowledge that she didn't really want to be there. "I…um…" He fumbled for the right words, the same strange prickling sensation behind his eyes only heightening with each passing second. "I mean why would you want to see me? You're not compelled to, of course."

Rose reached out and placed one hand over his when she realised they had gotten their wires crossed. "Oh, Armitage, I thought you wouldn't want to see me." She sighed, taking her hand away from his in embarrassment and placing it in her lap. "You risked your life and I messed up." She felt the traitorous tears well in her eyes again.

Was Rose crying? Hux couldn't bear to see her crying, especially if he was the cause. She was too precious. Too lovely to be sad. "I am sure whatever it is can be fixed." He said fervently.

Rose sniffed a few times as she tried to compose herself. She reached into her shirt pocket and pulled out the flash drive and handed it to him. "As soon as I broke the code, the encrypted files started to delete themselves. Its all gone."

Armitage twirled the flash drive between his fingers as he realised his rivalry with Ren didn't matter, neither did his change in circumstances, or what side he was on. The only thing that mattered to him right in that moment was putting a smile back on Rose Tico's lovely face. "Nothing is ever really gone. I'm sure together we can find a solution."

"Do you think so?" Rose asked hopefully.

"I learned a few tricks when I was spying on the First Order." Hux bragged in an attempt to impress her.

"Armitage, you were a terrible spy. You got caught." Rose reminded him, laughing through her tears.

Their conversation had been going around in circles for hours. Rey had fallen asleep half way through, her head resting on Ben's shoulder as she dozed. He slipped his arm around her waist, holding her close while he and Poe resumed talking in low voices in order not to disturb her.

"I don't know how much information Sidious pulled from my head before he was stopped." Ben admitted tensely. He glanced at Rey, his anxiety only increasing. Poe didn't know about Rey's connection to the dark Sith Lord, he had confided a lot of personal information to the new Resistance general, but not that. That was Rey's story to tell. Not his.

Poe sighed heavily as he looked around the command centre. As much as everyone complained about the humidity of the jungle moon, it had begun to feel like a home of sorts. "We're gonna have to abandon this place. Find somewhere new."

"We've got no choice." Ben agreed with a heavy heart. "It's become too dangerous to stay."

A/N-thanks for reading. Please review if you have the time.