Everything is Relative
by Teddylonglong
All recognizable Harry Potter characters belong to J. K. Rowling, and I am not earning anything by writing this story. I am merely borrowing the characters to play with them.
I am not a native speaker of English. Please excuse my mistakes.
Warnings: Completely AU, partly OOC.
"As soon as Voldemort will be gone, and I promise you now that you'll have our assistance," Felina continued, "your parents and grandparents will arrive from their respective time travels."
Harry stared at Rebecca in shock. "I'm sorry," he finally managed to speak, "but I can't believe that."
"I can imagine, but please wait and see," Rebecca replied in a soft voice. "The sooner you begin your training with Devil… our trainer," she added upon seeing Harry's incredulous look, "the sooner we can arrange for the meeting with Voldemort."
"Why should I join the Unspeakables though?" Harry enquired, feeling torn about the matter. On the one hand, it sounded extremely intriguing, but on the other hand, he had already more than enough work to do with school, his upcoming NEWTs, the Whizkidz and his three girlfriends. "When I've killed Voldemort, I should be free and not have to get rid of any other dark wizard, or am I wrong?"
Rebecca chuckled. "No Harry, there's no other prophecy about you, however, you're a very capable young wizard, and we'd appreciate your assistance. We in team 13 would love to have you, even if the final decision, which team will get someone, lies by Croaker."
"I will join the Unspeakables," Harry decided, "however, under one condition."
"And what might that be?" Rebecca enquired.
"That you stop fooling people and give up your Arabella Figg and Argus Filch personas," Harry replied in a firm voice, "and that you allow me to tell Aunt Petunia, Dudley and Uncle Vernon the truth. They should know who destroyed a decade of their life."
Rebecca nodded in apparent understanding. "I will tell them myself, and concerning the other point, I'll speak with Whisker about it," she promised, seeming sincere.
HP
It was almost dinner time, when Harry returned home from his conversation with Rebecca.
"Is everything all right?" Petunia enquired, giving him a sharp look.
"Paws would be a good Unspeakable name," Luna said, dreamily, rather to herself than to Harry – at least, that was his impression. 'Of course, she knows everything,' he thought in amazement.
"Minerva," he addressed the headmistress in a firm voice, "the Unspeakables have invited me to become an Unspeakable and join their team. May I please have the permission to go to the Unspeakable's office on Saturdays, Sundays and one evening per week? I will see to it that it won't collide with my prefect responsibilities," he added right away.
To his surprise, Minerva merely nodded in apparent understanding, before she replied in a soft voice, "You have my permission. I believe that I don't have to advise you to not neglect your school work, as your girlfriends will most likely see to it." A small smile played on her lips, when Hermione, Susan and Luna nodded in apparent enthusiasm, causing Harry to inwardly groan.
'Why in the world did I choose to have three girlfriends?' he thought in annoyance.
HP
On Sunday, Felina and Whisker met at the Three Broomsticks for their traditional Sunday lunch.
Once they had received their meal in their usual upstairs room, they lowered their hoods and began to eat and talk in private.
"I've had a longer conversation with Harry," Rebecca informed him and told him about her meeting with the young wizard.
"And? Is he going to join us?" Artemis asked, sounding impatient.
Rebecca smirked. "He said yes, but only under the condition that you and I gave up our alternate personas."
"What?" Artemis blurted out, seeming horrified at the idea.
Rebecca shrugged. "Well, if you agree, I'll be ready to give up my Arabella Figg persona. In fact, I don't really like her very much," she added, chuckling.
"Oh well, it's not as if my Argus Filch persona was any more likeable," Artemis agreed, thoughtfully. He remained pensive for a moment, before he suddenly sat straighter and cleared his throat, causing Rebecca to inwardly grin and wonder what he was up to.
"I shall agree under one condition," he finally spoke up in apparent determination. Seeing her questioning look, he continued, "Under the condition that you become my wife."
Rebecca stared at her best friend in shock. Many years ago, when they had both been in love with someone else, who did not reciprocate the feeling, they had decided to just remain best friends. However, over the time, her feelings had slowly changed. 'I thought that was only me,' Rebecca thought, before she changed her expression to a broad smile and replied, "This is unexpected… but appreciated… and of course I will become your wife."
HP
It was almost dinner time, when Harry received a Patronus from Artemis.
"Please come to my office right away. I need your assistance with something. Whisker."
'What is it now?' Harry thought in annoyance, as he grudgingly abandoned his game of Wizard's chess with Hermione to Susan and headed though the connecting door into the castle.
To his surprise, Whisker was sitting in his office wearing his Artemis Nott features.
"Did something happen, sir?" Harry asked in confusion, giving the older wizard a questioning look.
"Yes," Whisker replied, grimly. "I was urged to give up my Argus Filch persona. Now, I need to convince Professor McGonagall to fire Argus Filch right away and to occupy Artemis Nott from tomorrow onwards. I believe that you know the headmistress quite well and might be able to assist in explaining the matter to her, especially considering that you're the owner of the school and as such able to fire and hire people."
Harry grinned. "Of course," he replied in amusement. "Please head to Professor McGonagall's office, sir. I'll fetch her," he already promised, when a sudden thought struck his mind. "Sir?" he asked. "Will you be nicer to the students as Artemis Nott?"
"Of course," Whisker replied, rolling his eyes at him.
"All right then," Harry said, grinning broadly.
"Thanks," Whisker muttered, already changing his features to those of Argus Filch.
'Hopefully for the last time. I really don't like Filch,' Harry thought, before he transformed into his canine form, knowing that he could run much faster as a Freg.
"Minerva," he addressed the headmistress, once he reached the manor and transformed back, "will you please come to your office for a moment?"
Readily rising from her comfortable spot on the sofa next to Amelia, who was just feeding Lily Sophia, Minerva enquired, "And why might that be?"
"Just to fire the caretaker and hire a new one," Harry quipped and – ignoring the incredulous looks he received from all sides – transformed back into his canine form. Together with Lucy, he returned to the castle and waited right in front of the headmistress' office together with Argus Filch.
HP
"Mr. Filch, what does this mean?" Minerva asked in a firm voice, when Filch entered her office, accompanied by Harry in his Animagus form and Lucy.
"I wish to resign from my position as the Squib caretaker of Hogwarts today," Filch stammered, handing over a written resignation.
"In the evening before the students come back?" Minerva asked, incredulously, gently petting canine ears, when she felt one of the dogs calmingly lick her hand.
"I'm sorry, Headmistress," Filch replied.
Trying to suppress her anger, but feeling reassured by Harry's presence that there would be a solution to the arising problem, she merely replied, "I accept your resignation."
She stared at the man in front of her in shock, when he suddenly morphed into a much younger wizard, whom she had not seen in a long time and who was believed to be dead. "Artemis Nott," she blurted out in recognition.
"I'm sorry for the masquerade," Artemis replied, sighing. "You must know that I had given up my Artemis Nott identity right after leaving Hogwarts. Now, however, it became necessary to completely abandon my Argus Filch persona due to this canine's meddling," he added, glaring at Harry. "Nevertheless, if it's all right with you, I'd love to keep my position here at Hogwarts, even if I might handle some things differently from how Argus Filch did."
"I shall hope so," Minerva replied in apparent appreciation, as she accepted a parchment from the younger wizard with a contract to sign. Everything seemed to be all right, and she was just about to put her signature under the contract, when a sudden thought came up in her mind.
"Harry, as the owner of Hogwarts, I need you to dissolve the Board of Governors," she said in a firm voice. "Otherwise, we'd need the approval of the board, before we can simply install a new employee."
Harry swiftly transformed into his human form and replied, "Of course. I'll do that right away if you tell me what to do."
"Just write a letter to the Minister of Magic," Minerva advised him, noticing that Harry cast Artemis a questioning look, and the young wizard returned an unobtrusive nod.
'I wonder why Harry is so acquainted with Artemis,' she thought and absentmindedly nodded, when Artemis informed her that he would give her a small list with suggestions for improvements to his position on time for the staff meeting the following afternoon.
"Thank you," she simply replied and dismissed the new caretaker, who swiftly left her office with the two canines in tow. 'I didn't even realise that Harry transformed back,' she thought in surprise. 'He's got really good at it.'
HP
The whole student body – apart from the first-years – cheered, when Minerva explained that Mr. Filch had resigned from his post and introduced Artemis Nott as his successor.
"While Mr. Nott is a powerful wizard and will certainly handle his job differently from Mr. Filch, please remember that students are not allowed to perform magic in the corridors," she added in a strict voice.
"Professor McGonagall," Alina, one of the Hufflepuff fifth-years, spoke up, "why is Mrs. Norris still here? We almost stumbled over her, when we came in earlier.
'Oh Merlin, we didn't even think about her,' Harry realised in shock, relaxing in amusement at the headmistress' response.
"Those of you who have cats probably know that cats are not as fixed on their humans as, for example, dogs," Minerva explained. "In this case, Mrs. Norris apparently decided to remain in her known territory instead of following Mr. Filch into the muggle world. One reason might be that she is good friends with my familiar Neko," she added as an afterthought.
In general, the students seemed to be happy to be rid of Filch, and Harry realised soon that Artemis indeed much was friendlier and well-liked by the staff and students.
'Oh well,' he thought, 'next year, when we finish school and Petunia her mastery, we will make some more changes to the staff anyway.'
HP
If Harry had believed what many people from classmates over teachers to family had told him – that he was fairly good at Defence –, he was sadly mistaken – at least according to Devil, the trainer at the Unspeakables' office.
It took Devil less than two seconds to disarm him and less than ten minutes to disarm him what felt to Harry like about a hundred times.
"Don't worry," the trainer told him, gently patting his arm, when he dismissed him after his first Saturday morning of practice, "in a year's time, you're going to be a proper Unspeakable."
"Thank you, sir," Harry replied, feeling only slightly assured by the trainer's words. "I hope so," he added, unable to believe as much, as he could not remember having been so exhausted ever before. 'Not even after training with Sirius and Remus, and Sirius really was a slave driver,' he thought.
Felina and Whisker met with Harry, as soon as his training session was over, and took him with them to the ministry canteen. In the canteen, there was one part, which was separated by a wall of glass, and as soon as they entered the area behind the wall, Harry realised the reason. Behind the wall, the Unspeakables took off their hoods, so that they were able to eat.
"Don't look at other Unspeakables," Felina advised him, as she cast a silencing charm around the three of them. "While some of them wear a glamour to not be recognised, others don't, and it is a common rule to not look."
Harry nodded in understanding. "Thank Merlin," he whispered back, "considering that everyone seems to know my face."
"How did you like your training so far?" Whisker asked, smirking.
Harry let out a deep sigh, before he admitted, "It is just frustrating. So far, Defence has always been my best subject, but Devil gave me the impression as if I was a mere first-year."
His companions chuckled, before Felina replied, "That's completely normal. You're doing all right then. If he thought you were a hopeless case, he'd have told you as much."
"Oh well, that's at least reassuring," Harry replied with a small hint of sarcasm. "What am I supposed to do during the afternoon?" he then enquired.
"We'll take you to Croaker, and you're going to have a talk with him. Afterwards, he will decide, into which team he is going to place you…"
"Which hopefully will be ours," Felina interrupted Whisker, smirking.
"And then, either he or we, depending on where he wants you, are going to introduce you to the team," Whisker continued. "In any case, we will later on teach you a certain spell in the preparation of Voldemort's demise."
HP
Harry's discussion with Croaker went better than his training in the morning. After he had sworn an oath on his magic to keep all the secrets of the Unspeakables, not use their knowledge for anything criminal and also keep everyone's identities confidential, Croaker asked him many questions and they talked about this and that. To his relief, he had the impression that the head Unspeakable was happy to have him, before he suddenly said, "There is just one problem."
Apparently realising that Harry stared at him in shock, Croaker shook his head. "No, don't worry. It's just that I've received requests from two different teams who want you."
"From two teams?" Harry asked, incredulously. "I thought I was going to Team 13, where Felina and Whisker are?"
"They're members of team 13. That's correct," Croaker replied. "However, not only Team 13, but also Team 5 has already requested that you join their team."
"I don't even know the members of Team 5," Harry replied in surprise, wondering why Croaker was smirking.
"I believe that you know at least two of them, and at least three of the four members are relatives of you," Croaker informed him in apparent amusement, only to add, "Of course, they all know you, but that doesn't say anything, considering that you're famous in the magical world."
"Relatives sir?" Harry enquired, thinking, 'My only relatives only recently learned that they're magical.'
"Have you heard of Ra, Raros and Meta?" Croaker asked in apparent amusement.
"Raros I know," Harry confirmed, "but not the others. But Raros is not related to me," he added in confusion.
"He is," Croaker contradicted in continuing amusement. "Your grandmother Dorea Potter was a Black by birth. Anyway, would you be interested in working together with him and two other members of the same family?" Croaker enquired.
Harry remained quiet for a moment, before he said, pensively, "On the one hand, yes, but on the other hand, Felina and Whisker have already taught me a lot, and…" He slowly trailed off.
"Very well," Croaker said, decisively. "You will belong to both teams for the time being. Ra is the head of Team 5 and Whisker the head of Team 13. I will speak to both of them and tell them to arrange themselves having you in both teams. Will that be all right with you?"
"That's fine, sir," Harry replied, smiling, still wondering who his so-called relatives could be.
HP
Team 5, which consisted of Ra, Raros, Meta and Mento, mainly worked as the intelligence behind the Department of Magical Law Enforcement. The speciality of Team 13, consisting of Whisker, Felina, Aros and Ninja, was the time chamber as well as the Merlin's Drum, both located in a room within the Department of Magical Mysteries that was only known to Team 13.
Harry found the members of both teams really nice. Only in their team rooms did everyone lower their hood, and the members of team 5 introduced themselves to him.
Ra was a very old wizard, Arcturus Black, who informed him that he was Sirius' and Regulus' grandfather. "My sister Dorea was your grandmother, so I am in fact your great uncle," he told Harry, who stared at the old wizard, wide-eyed. 'Almost like Voldemort on my mother's side,' he thought, feeling slightly uncomfortable at the idea. 'Thank Merlin he's only Aunt Petunia's father and not Mum's,' his mind screamed in relief.
"Be careful to not speak to Sirius about him, as he doesn't know that Grandfather is even alive," Regulus warned him, causing Harry to nod and wonder, 'Why all this secrecy?'
Meta was Tonks – much to Harry's surprise, even if he was pleased to be able to work together with her and Regulus, and Mento was Fabian Prewitt, who was – like Regulus and Ra – generally believed to be dead, although he still remained the head of the Prewitt family.
He already knew the members of Team 13 apart from Aros and Ninja. Aros was a muggleborn wizard and long-time friend of Arcturus, even if they had been working in different teams for a long time. He did not get to know what his real name was, but Harry did not really care. He was mostly surprised to how many people he was related. Ninja turned out to be none other than Buckbean, as Harry realised in utmost surprise. 'Ah, that explains why he couldn't tell us about the renovations the other day,' he thought in understanding.
The afternoon quickly passed talking to one team after the other, and Felina and Whisker dismissed him, stating that they were going to tell him about their plan concerning Voldemort on Sunday afternoon.
tbc...
Thank you so very much for the kind reviews for the previous chapter. My muse really appreicates the feedback.
Next chapter: "Dinner with Voldemort".