A/N:
Thank you for waiting for this chapter! Everything should be back on track now for Tuesday or Wednesday updates, but any mid-week changes will be mentioned on my tumblr ( mxstyassasxin) along with lots of other HP related stuff.
Since the last chapter, FIWYMI has surpassed 3000 hits over on AO3! I love you all for reading and I hope you enjoy this chapter 3
Much love xx
Chapter 25 - Revelation
"I can't do this! I can't do this, Draco," Hermione stopped pacing her dorm room to shoot him a panicked look as the door shut behind him, closing that calming, fresh scent in with him.
She had confined herself to her bed for most of the day in an effort to avoid the rest of the students, her pain, anxiety and temper at their worst with the full moon that evening. But the time spent supposedly relaxing had allowed her mind to wander through all the terrifying worries she had about transforming at Hogwarts without Bill and while there were students in the castle.
Draco had agreed to take notes for her during their shared classes that day and, when he had tried to pass them onto Luna, the Ravenclaw had somehow managed to lead him into the Gryffindor common room and up to the girl's dormitories without either of them being thrown out.
She noticed that Draco looked uncharacteristically flustered when Luna pushed him into the room and closed the door behind him, but as soon as he caught the tone of her voice, his eyes refocused and his confident mask slipped into place again.
"You've done this before, Granger. How many times over the summer?" He walked across the room and sat on the edge of the bed closest to her. "There's no reason why this moon can't go as well as the rest of them."
"There are students in the castle this time, Draco! I can't leave the shack and I have no idea how my Wolf will deal with that."
"Potter and Weasley will be here in a few hours. You'll feel more comfortable then."
Hermione scoffed. Part at the effort it had clearly taken for those words to come out of Draco's mouth, and part at her own tendency to trust no one but herself.
"It's not that I don't trust them," she began pacing again, speaking quickly. "It's just that I've always worried about them and now I need to trust that they'll look after me and stop me from getting close to the castle when even I have no idea what tonight could be like."
"Look," Draco said, watching her pace across the room, "Professor Lupin managed it, so I'm sure... Would you sit down?"
Hermione stopped pacing when Draco interrupted himself, and looked around to meet his stern eyes, slowly sitting down on the bed opposite him. She ignored the roll of his eyes when her leg began to bounce and she continued to wring her hands together; Sitting down was clearly no more relaxing than pacing had been.
"Thank you," Draco said, a bit too sweetly. "As I was saying, I don't see how you wouldn't be able to manage it if Professor Lupin could."
"I don't know why everyone keeps assuming that," Hermione grew exasperated. "It certainly wasn't easy for him at any stretch. You must have seen how run down and in pain it left him? I'm just worried, and I don't know what it will be like, and not knowing things scares me." She sighed and looked down at her lap where her fingers were fixated on picking at her cuticles.
"Granger, if you're that worried, get the other Weasley here - the one who's your second. Or McGonagall. We can go right now to see if she could..."
"No," Hermione interrupted, snapping her head up. "No, I should be used to this by now and they shouldn't have to worry about me. Professor McGonagall has an entire student body to worry about and Bill has his own life. He doesn't want me dragging him away from Fleur all the time."
"It's one night a month! You're being stubborn, Granger. If you need help, ask for it. Don't be like me." Draco's words caught in his throat and Hermione saw the flash of a grimace cross his face as quickly as it disappeared again.
"Draco," she reached across the gap between the beds to rest her right hand on his knee, giving it a comforting squeeze.
"Don't, Granger," he shook his head. "I didn't, but you can." He whipped his head round to look at the door as they heard the handle twist with a soft, accompanying knock.
"Malfoy," Ginny said stepping into the dorm. "Do you mind if I have a word with Hermione?"
Hermione watched as the two of them appeared to hold a silent battle, staring into each other's eyes while they determined each other's intention and sincerity. She pinched the bridge of her nose and closed her eyes with a sigh. There were too many people trying to care for her when she was supposed to be the one in charge. She was the Alpha.
Draco looked back round at her and squeezed her knee in return before standing from the bed. It seemed he had made his decision and Hermione knew he was telling her to do so as well.
"I'll see you tomorrow, Granger. Remember what I said."
Hermione sighed again when the door shut behind him, the tension she had been feeling before his visit returning to the room in full force. She could feel her nostrils flaring as she tried to cling onto any of that comforting scent that may have lingered.
"Here," Ginny sat down beside her and pulled her into her side. "I know it's not perfect, but you can have my scent if it'll help."
Hermione burrowed her face into the crook of Ginny's neck and was able to relax again slightly, despite the long sheet of red hair tickling her cheeks.
"I heard a bit of what Malfoy said before I came in. Shhh," Ginny began stroking Hermione's back when she tensed in her arms. "It's alright you know, to need help sometimes. And I need you to not get mad at me, please."
Hermione raised her head from Ginny's shoulder with her brow furrowed, and the hand stroking her back grew more insistent.
"You see, you know how I don't like being left out of stuff?" Hermione nodded even though her brow remained furrowed. "Well, I did the animagus thing at the same time as Harry and Ron without telling anyone."
"You what?" Hermione sat bolt upright, ignoring the jolt of pain that coursed down her spine at the sudden movement.
"I mean, Harry and Ron knew obviously, and McGonagall because she was helping us, and I told Fleur so she would get you inside and you wouldn't see me, but I wanted it to be a nice surprise for your first full moon back at school. I didn't expect you to get so worried about it. So, surprise."
The youngest Weasley looked sheepish as she smiled a strained, wary smile at Hermione, her brown eyes wide with a plea for understanding.
"I'm not mad, Ginny," she sighed, "but you could have told me sooner."
"Does it make it any better? Because there'll be one more of us with you now."
"It will be nice, but we haven't tried it with you there and we won't know how my Wolf will react to your animagus." Hermione cocked her head to one side as she thought about it.
"Harry told me about everything last month. How you just wanted to run, like you needed to stretch after a month cramped into a small space and how you were going to run right through the Whomping Willow to get into the shack. And how you got a little growly when they tried to stop you from doing that."
"I'm worried about the Wolf's need to stretch and run under the moon being taken away from her this time," Hermione grimaced. "She's going from being cooped up in my body to being cooped up in the Shack and I don't think she's going to like that."
"Well there will be three of us to help you," Ginny smiled warmly. "Harry's stag, Ron's Labrador and me."
"What are you anyway?" Hermione asked, anxious not to ruin Ginny's pride.
"Some sort of pony."
"A pony?" She quirked an eyebrow thinking about how a horse would fit in the Shack along with her Wolf, a stag and a decent-sized dog.
"Yeah. Quite a bit smaller than a horse but not Shetland size. I'm either a Dartmoor or Welsh I think. Dapple grey like my patronus, but nowhere near as big as it. I'm almost the same size as Harry, and he has the stupid antlers on top!" She started laughing and Hermione found herself smiling at the sound despite the worry still swirling around in her head.
"Come on," Ginny continued once she had stopped laughing, pulling Hermione to her feet as she did so. "Let's get your change of clothes and stuff down to the Shack before they get here."
X - X - X
She tried again to head for the door and, once again, she found her path blocked; Her three companions standing together in front of her. From the last moon, she recognised the dog and the stag as her pack mates. She knew they had names that her Beta had called them, but there were much more important things on her mind right now so their names were of little consequence to her.
The moon on the other hand was, and all she could think of as she fixed her eyes on the doorway behind the three creatures was what she could be experiencing at the other end of that tunnel. Soothing, pale moonlight that would bathe her aching body; the scent in the forest as the seasons shifted from summer to autumn and the pines released their sweet sap; the breeze ruffling her fur and cooling her lolling tongue as she loped through the trees and across the lawns; the delightful burn in her legs as she pushed aching muscles to their limits, her joints singing in praise.
She took another step towards the three of them and the dog faltered but the other two stood firm. She noticed that the newcomer flicked her tail towards the dog's hind legs and felt the corners of her mouth twitch in amusement. She liked this member of her pack.
The twitch of amusement turned into a snarl when, out of the corner of her eye, she saw the stag lower his head in challenge rather than submission; a clear threat to her. She was his Alpha. How dare he threaten her. The growl in her throat grew louder and she bared her teeth, stretching her neck up as much as she could to look down on him.
Testing the waters, and his resolve, she took another intimidating step, but he just pushed back, his antlers now resting against her neck. She was not afraid. She knew he could not best her but she would have none of this attitude. Lowering her head, she snapped her jaws together, close enough to the back of his neck that his hair caught in her teeth.
He jolted at the sound of her powerful jaw and the dog to his left began barking at her and rocking it's body against her front legs. She swung her head down around the stag's antlers to shove the dog away with her snout, then lunged for the gap that he had left, eyes on the door once again.
The remaining two must have coordinated over her back because before she could burst through the wood, they had sandwiched her body between themselves, forcing her to a halt. She began to growl again and swung her head from side to side, resisting as they pushed her backwards into the corner of the room, towards the blankets that usually became her den. But she did not need that comfort just yet.
On one swing of her head to the left, she collided with the hindquarters of the stag and a way to get him to back down formed in her mind. It wasn't something she particularly wanted to do, but it seemed as though she was going to have to assert her dominance. She growled a fair warning and, when he continued to force her backwards, she snapped her jaw again, this time briefly sinking her teeth into his hide.
As she expected, the stag squealed and leapt away from her, turning with a betrayed look in his eyes. She nudged him with her snout in apology, but she'd had to do it. She had to get out into the moonlight, and he was refusing to let her go.
She turned, with mixed feelings in her chest, to leave the room just before the barking began anew, accompanied by the shrill cries of the newcomer. They were her pack; they would understand and, hopefully, she would build their trust up again. As she reached the doorway, she looked back at them all over her shoulder, to plead for their forgiveness and understanding, but saw hooves coming towards her.
The first blow hit her side and she heard something crack. The second hit the side of her head as she stumbled from the impact to her ribs. As she was shaking the ringing from her head, she saw the third blow coming, and then everything went black.