Over the couple of weeks, Hermione took every opportunity she could to see Malfoy. In his office, in hers, at the cafeteria, at the pub that they now declared their own.
She had fallen hard. She craved his tough, his gaze, his presence. She craved his intellect; she craved his easy conversation. She craved so much about him, yet, she still went home to Ron at the end of every day. She still loved Ron. She still saw potential for a life with Ron, as much as she now dreamt of a life with Malfoy.
One particular night, she had crept out of The Burrow in the middle of the night and apparated to Malfoy's Cottage where they made love under the stars for what felt like hours. The sex had turned into something deeper, more emotional. The goal was no longer to see how many orgasms he could make her have, but to show her how much he loved her. Orgasms were just a bonus.
When he entered her, he did so, looking into her eyes and declaring his love for her. When she came, she cried into his shoulder all the ways in which she loved him.
Each time they met, whether it be for sex or just for company, their parting was devastating. Hermione often thought that each time could be their last. That somehow, someone would find out and it would all be over. Perhaps, partially, that is why she clung onto Ron. Because if she allowed herself to let go, to stop loving him, to allow herself to be free of him, she might just end up alone.
Hermione prepared for an upcoming ministry event, which she had somehow managed to convince Ron to accompany her to. She was a scandalous woman in her own mind, but the wizarding world still needed to see two thirds of the golden trio happy and in love.
She put effort into her appearance, hoping to trigger some sort of feelings within Ron or, failing that, make Malfoy beg her to leave with him at some point. She knew what she preferred, which was making her question, again, as though she didn't already do it daily, why she remained with Ron and didn't just ask Malfoy to leave Astoria.
Aside from her threats to end her own life, Hermione figured it was easier for him to stay with her, much the same as it was easier for her to stay with Ron. Status Quo had never been so relevant.
At the Ministry event, speeches were made, something dull that needed celebrating, however Hermione wasn't remotely interested. Her mind was focused on a table in front of theirs, where Astoria Malfoy was busy manhandling her husband. Again, Hermione should not have been jealous. She should have been happy to see Malfoy looking so happy. She knew, however, that he wasn't. He was never happy when he was around his wife.
When the music began, Hemione convinced Ron to go with her to the dancefloor. She had promised him earlier that night that if he acquiesce to her requests and plays nice, doesn't drink too much and portrays the epitome of a perfect couple that she would reward him for it, sexually, when they got home. To him, it meant a blow job. Something that she rarely provided. She did it a few times but didn't like to. The same couldn't be said for Malfoy, though.
She loved being on her knees in front of him, feeling his thighs quiver when she lashed the head of his erection with her tongue and when she took him deep into her throat. With him, she knew that he would always repay the favour. Pleasing him was like paying a very cheap price for an amazing reward.
With Ron though, he never so much as finger fucked her. Hadn't tried to find her clit since she first tried, all those weeks ago.
She danced with Ron, moving around the dancefloor till she found a comfortable place to stay. It just so happened that her eyeline was directly on the Malfoys, who were slowly swaying on the opposite side of the dancefloor.
She closed her eyes and allowed Ron to lead, while she imagined herself in the arms of Malfoy, dancing to the music. Just one more thing that she added to the list of things to do with Malfoy, if the time ever came.
They stopped dancing and were chatting with different people. Harry had apologised for speaking to her out of turn that day in the office and she had brushed it off. In fact, she had backed off a lot within her role and every department was happier for it. It meant she had nothing to do, a lot of the time, but she spent those hours texting Malfoy or shopping in Muggle London.
When Ron was busy discussing quidditch with the head of Magical Games and Sports, she quickly excused herself, heading for the ladies room. On her way out, she bumped into none other than Astoria Malfoy.
"Oh, Astoria, how lovely to see you again" she said.
"Hermione, right?" she asked.
"Yes, that's right" she answered with a smile. "How are you? I heard the stories, but I know that they're not all true" she said.
'Oh I'm great. Draco and I were in a pretty rough patch, but we're much better now. He really is the most amazing husband" she said.
Hermione would swear that this woman knew. Based on the way she spoke about him, almost as if she were trying to make her jealous.
"Well, yes, I work with your husband quite a lot and we've become friends. I would have to say he is a lovely friend to have" Hermione said. "In fact, it would be wonderful if you and I could be friends" she added, instantly regretting it. What a stupid idea.
Astoria eyed her for several moments, in which Hermione wanted to shrivel up and die.
Before she knew what happened, Astoria had pulled Hermione into a hug and held her tightly.
"Oh Hermione, I have always wanted to get to know you" she said.
"That's great" Hermione said as they both left the room.
"We'll have to set up some time to do lunch or something" Astoria said.
"That sounds lovely, Astoria. Please, owl me and we'll set it up" she said, before the other witch pulled her into a hug again. When she released her, Hermione was staring into the eyes of Malfoy himself, who had been apparently waiting outside of the loo for his wife.
"Ah, there you are darling, we were just talking about you" Astoria told him as she kissed him on the lips.
"All good things I hope" he said, taking a hanky form his pocket and wiping the lipstick off his mouth with a subtle frown. Yes, he was still hers.
"I was just saying to Astoria how lucky she is to have you caring for her while she has been ill" Hermione said.
"Hermione and I are going to have lunch some day and do some shopping" Astoria said with a sweet smile. It reminded Hermione of a pre-schooler.
Malfoy just looked between the two women and Hermione shrugged. The look in his eyes was enticing. She wanted nothing more than to rip Astoria off his arm and stomp on her, before running off with Malfoy and not looking back. She would. She thought she would be able to. She had Rose to consider. Rose needed her father. Hermione had to make this work.
She bid them farewell before returning to Ron and having a couple of drinks. Ron was true to his word, drinking soda water and lime, while everyone around him got drunk. It was a first for him. He must really want a blowjob. The thought made Hermione want to gag.
"I think I just saw someone I work with, I'll be back in a jiffy" she said, getting up from the table they had been sitting at and making her way to the exit. She walked right past where Malfoy and Astoria had been standing and out the doors into the Atrium. The air out there was easier to take in. It wasn't thick with 200 other people's breath, it wasn't filled with deafening music, it wasn't full of tension.
She sat by the statue and gathered her thoughts before standing up and head back in. As she stood, in front her came none other than Malfoy.
"You… You are so beautiful" he said quietly.
"And you look rather handsome yourself" she said.
He looked around, seeing that they were completely alone, before taking her quietly over to the lift. She didn't question it, just hopped in when the doors opened and stood quietly till they arrived on his floor.
They hurried to his office, being careful to avoid any windows and locked the door behind them.
"We don't have time to…" she began, knowing that sex couldn't happen.
"I just want to kiss you" he said, stepping towards her and taking her lips in his.
Again, the feeling of her lips melting into his, of her body forming one with his overcame her and she was lost to all her senses. The dark room drifted away and there was just the two of them.
As soon as it had begun, it was over. She was breathless and eager for more, but logically, she knew that it was a bad idea.
They returned to the Atrium, finding it empty and were able to slip back into the event, unnoticed. Hermione felt like the world was being too kind to her. Like she shouldn't really be getting away with this as easily as she was.
But somehow, she was. For now.
Another week passed where Hermione's expertise in lying was growing. She had created an entire fake life that she told Ron all about. Busy work, busy afternoons, early mornings. It was all lies, but it thrilled Hermione even more.
Beyond all the lies, stories and thrilling webs of woven truths and half-truths, she lived in fear, daily, that she would be caught. She had excuses made up for any situation that she may be found in, and was confident that, if it came to it, she could keep Ron from seriously hurting Malfoy. Astoria, she wasn't so sure. That woman was crazy. She had been owling Hermione daily about their lunch and Hermione realised that the witch thought she was serious.
She ended up attending a café for lunch with her and then declaring herself busy with work, passing on the shopping expedition. Overall, the conversation wasn't as bad as Hermione had expected. Astoria mostly spoke about the line of clothing she would like to create. A combination of muggle and wizarding. Hermione feigned interest easily and as soon as she was finished her meal, bed her farewell, paid her bill and left.
One night, she laid in bed beside Ron, who had, only half an hour ago, drunkenly fallen asleep inside of her while attempting to have sex. Her phone flashed on her bedside table and she excitedly took it in her hands and flipped it open.
It was a message from him.
DM – Good night, I miss you more than you know
Her heart was beating so fast. She wondered how a few little words, completely out of nowhere could make her feel so special. So wanted. So… loved. Love. They had discussed the idea of love so many times, and she had known for weeks now that she loved him. That she really loved him, but she hadn't ever conceded to the fact that maybe he was it for her. Their discussions always centered around how frustrated they were at how much they loved each other, but they understood the limitations of each other's capacity to give their whole heart away. The complications that came with love were immense. Complications. That is exactly what they had become in each other's lives now, but Hermione would be damned if she gave a toss. She was all in.
She opened the message and typed a hasty reply,
HG – I'll ring you in one minute, go somewhere you can answer. You won't have to speak, I just need to tell you something
When it had been 50 seconds exactly, she dialled his number and pressed the green button. It rang once and his voice, that voice, the one who had sent chills coursing through her body, the voice that had whispered dirty things to her while she clenched her first orgasms around him, whispered "hello".
"I just needed to say… I love you. That's all" she said, then hung up before he could say anything.
Immediately, as if it had been typed instantly, she received a reply.
DM – That wasn't fair, you said I didn't have to talk.
HG – You didn't, I just had to say it.
DM – I love you too Granger
He had said it before, he had murmured it to her while he came undone beneath her and he had texted it to her time and time again. She had felt it from him, but never had her mind ever began considering the idea of leaving Ron and being with Malfoy. This, tonight, was the first time.
As Ron snored beside her and Malfoy's text shone brightly in her face, she started piecing together a plan.
AN - Have you ever felt a love so powerful that you just had to say it out loud? Ever felt so full of it that it was practically bursting from every part of you? Ever been so conflicted about who you love, so torn, so confused that you briefly entertained the idea of coming out and declaring to both of them that you want to keep them both? This love was so consuming, so current. Yet, the love she had for Ron was underpinned by a foundation of longevity, deep friendship and a child.
This story will, from here, get annoyingly frustrating and you will say "JUST LEAVE" but its not so simple. She loves Ron. She will make plans and change them 100 times, but deep down, no matter what he does to her, she will love him.