Present Day
The climb down was a bit hard, almost slipping once or twice since some of the rocks that I used for my feet were slightly wet. But I was still going down carefully, Richie above me and Stanley below me. Once I reached the bottom, I felt the thickness of the air in what looked to be a small cavern where we landed. I had to duck, semi-crawl, and see Beverly and Stanley in front of me with Beverly's flashlight pointing in a certain direction. I made my way over to her, the both of us watching to see Bill's feet going through a very small but do-able sliver that seemed to be the roof and the ground.
"We're going through that?" I asked in a huff, Beverly silently nodding. I had to groan, hearing some feet landed right me that sounded like Richie's heavy feet. She kept the flashlight pointing in the sliver where we were going to crawl as both Stanley and I made our way to the opening. Stanley went through first, ducking his head and pushing his way with his hands. He helped me through with one hand, my head barely hitting the top of the rock as I was finally on the other side. As soon as we went through and we were in a new space, the air was different. It was moist, it was heavy, but it none the less heavy and odd.
After I helped Beverly through, I finally got to see where we were. If I thought the room that we were in above this hole was bad, this was worse. This was beyond worse, and we could all sense it. This wasn't like when we were kids when we thought we were strong together. No, something about this place was soothing in pure evil, and how it looked was doing it justice.
The room was large, just like above us, circular and an opening right above our heads. Yet in the middle there was a structure, it looked like some kind of impact happened there and this was the remains. The outstretched blasts that were frozen and black looked like reaching fingers that were skeleton-like and menacing. The massive hole right above the impact had a small sliver of light right at the very top. Mike was making his way into the middle of the impact, the rest of us were following him.
"So all os this has been under Derry since…forever?" Eddied asked in wonder as he wore his headlamp on and looking at the massive room in wonder.
"Not forever…just a few million years," Mike replied. He made his way right into the middle, the rest of us were coming through the openings to stand in a circle around what looked like a rock that was perched right in the dead center. Mike knelt, grabbing his backpack to place on the ground and take what seemed to be a decent-sized vase. It looked ancient, marks, and carvings on each side and was sketched in a long time ago. None of us said anything as he placed the vase right in the top of the perched rock before he stood up and looked at each of us.
"It can only be attacked as it's true form: The ritual'll show us that," Mike explained to us.
"What is its true form?" Ben asked him.
"I hope it's a puppy….pomeranian….I'll shut up," Richie muttered, seeing that we weren't getting his joke.
"It's like….light that must be stuff up by darkness," Mike informed all of us. I was still confused as Mike grabbed a small bottle of liter fluid and squirt some of it into the mouth of the vase. After lighting a match, he threw it int he vase and a small fire started to give our faces a small glow. Mike then looked at each of us with determination.
"Your artifacts. Toss them into the fire. The past must burn with the present," He explained. Each of the others, excluding Stanley and myself, was taking something out of their pockets. I reached into my jacket, realizing that I did have something that I swiped from the clubhouse. Both things, actually, and I took them out together in my one hand.
"Here," I said to Stanley, seeing him look down at the shower cap in my hand. He paused, giving me a look, almost like he was wondering why I had it. But it melted away, almost like he was grateful that I took it for him. I took it carefully, having me be left with my journal that was nearly soaked from being in the greywater moments before in the sewers.
I looked up to see Bill holding a paper boat, worn on all the edges, and with a familiar name written on the side.
"This is the b-b-boat I build for….Georgie," He said in a grimace, holding it over the fire and dropping it.
"It's my…umm..inhaler," Eddie explained, looking down at it within his fingers before givens all a glance before he took one more pull.
"Come on, dude," Richie groaned as Eddie thew the inhaler into the fire.
"Something I wished I would have held onto," Beverly said, all of us looking as she was holding what looked like a postcard. it was worn all over, scratchy handwriting was along the backside with a few words. Something in the way Ben was looking at her, almost like she was breaking his heart as she placed the postcard in the fire. Ben then cleared his throat, holding what looked like a hit piece of paper that was neatly folded over and over with perfect lines.
"This is a page of my yearbook, and only one person signed," He explained, almost sounding a bit passive-aggressive. Before he could place it in the fire, I saw the name on the paper with a few hearts on the top. It made me shoot a gaze at Beverly, who was seeing the same thing and almost looked just as shocked as I was. I looked back down at the journal in my hand, remembering something that was placed there that I discovered earlier that day.
Opening it up and skimming through the pages, I found the singular illustration of the Robin that was tucked inside. I slipped it out without anyone else realizing, noticing that it was Stanley's turn. He shifted a bit on his feet as he pointed to the shower cap in his hand.
"My shower cap," He replied shortly, a small smirk on his face, "Didn't think I would see this again," The shower cap fell into the fire with ease, which was perfect timing for me to slip the picture back in my pocket and then hold my journal in my hand.
"My old journal from the clubhouse," I explained, clutching it for a few seconds before tipping it into the fire. Sure I was a bit sad that it was going to be burned, but then again if Mike was right, then it was holding onto so many things in my past. I felt like a wave of relief in my chest when I was seeing the pages disappearing within the fire. Looking over at Richie, I saw him hold a silver coin within his fingers.
"A token from the Captial Theater," he stated shortly, tossing the coin up in the air and into the vase with ease.
"You mean you bought it?" Eddie asked him, though he looked suspicious.
"Yeah, that's what you have to do, asshole,"
"You have any idea how long that's gonna take it to burn?" Eddie asked him, we were all groaning now at this point since it was going to be another petty argument.
"Guys, come on," Ben reassured them. Mike then grasping what seemed to be a small rock within his fingers. There were small amounts of blood on the rock as he was holding it over the fire and looking right at Beverly.
"Look closely, Beverly. You see it?" he asked, Beverly, peering at it and looking confused at first before she looked at Mike than with a hint of wonder in her eyes.
"Rock fight," She replied in a breath. He nodded his head, then tossing the rock into the fire. Since his token was the last one, we were unsure what to do next and how to do it. Mike then reach out on both sides.
"Okay…take hands," He ordered us, all of us holding the hands of each other. I was in the middle of Stanley and Richie, feeling the pressure of Stanley's hands on my own with Richie holding my prosthetic hand as we were standing a bit too stiff.
"The Ritual of Chud, it's a battle of wills. The first step is our reunion. The second is the gathering of tokens. This is the final step," Mike told all of us. It felt like nothing was happening at first, but then we could see Mike looking up at the ceiling. We were all looking too, seeing the smallest glimpse of something opening up and brightness was coming through into the darkness.
"What the—" Richie said in confusion. The light was getting bigger and bigger, engulfing all of us softly and then brighter with seconds going by. The pure light that was now coming down was almost enough to have me seen as a zombie of some sort, but then Mike yelled out to get me out of my trance. Maybe the others were feeling the same way too.
"Don't look at it, don't look at it," Mike wanted us, my eyes going back down to the front of me. The others did too, not wanting to get lost in the lights too. Was it was the deadlights? It felt like it to me as Mike started some kind of chant, "Turn light into dark…turn light into dark, say it. SAY IT!"
"Say what?" Eddie asked in confusion, slamming his eyes shut. I closed my eyes too. Something under my feet was rumbling, and I could tell even with my eyes shut that the gift from above was getting brighter and more intense. It felt like I could hear it too within my head as we were all chanting that phrase over and over. Even the wind was picking up, having em feel my hair whip around me in a such a force it felt like a tornado.
"TURN LIGHT INTO DARK….TURN LIGHT INTO DARK…."
I heard Stanley chanting it next to me too, which in some sense gave me a bit more confidence in just it just as loud. I didn't know how this was going to work, and perhaps the others were in the same boat too, but we were none the less willing to try this to stop It permanently.
"TURN LIGHT INTO DARK….MIKEY WHAT'S GOING ON MAN?!" I heard Richie scream over the noise next to me.
"KEEP SAYING IT!" Mike screamed over the intensity of the light and the ritual. At this point, we were all screaming at our own pace, and I could hear everyone else in the circle at one point. The light was so bright that it felt like I was about to pass out from how it was hitting my body all over, but I could see how the lights moved from the ceiling up above down to being in front of us and then lower.
Suddenly, the light was gone and it as purely quiet.
I carefully opened my eyes, seeing Mike hunched over the vase with his body and hands on top of it. The light was gone, darkness was back in the room and we were all stunned from how it all happened so fast. We were all frozen, unsure if it worked. I looked over at Stanley next to me, his hair all over the place as he was trying to breathe with wide eyes.
"Turn light into dark…turn light into dark….did we do it?" Eddie asked as he was keeping his eyes shut and then stopping abruptly since he was the only one that was still chanting. No one moved or spoke, having me breathe out a shaky breath. It felt like the worst was over, it had to be over, right?
But something was popping out from the top of the vase. It was red and sounded like a balloon.
A red balloon.
"I guess this is it then?" Beverly asked, shaking like a leaf from what was coming out, getting bigger and bigger. All of us weren't chanting anymore, in fact, we released our hands as Mike rushed over to place the top back on over the ballon, which was swelling by the second. He struggled, not even close to closing it as the balloon was now big enough to engulf the vase itself.
"Mike, is this supposed to be happening?" Stanley asked in hesitance as Mike was struggling more and more.
"Come on, keep saying it!" Mike pleaded as the balloon was no longer able to be held down by Mike himself. He almost fell back as the balloon itself was about to touch us. We were backing up slowly, fitting against the structure. But the balloon was big enough to where we were escaping from the structure itself and seeing how the balloon itself was reaching to the top of the room. At this point, we were practically running away from the balloon that was now the size of a house and growing within seconds.
The ballon then popped.
The sheer force that we felt from the balloon pop knocked us all off our feet and we slammed into the floor. I covered my head from the wind the blew right over all of us. It was like we were grains of wheat with a gust of wind: we didn't stand a chance.
Then, it was quiet.
I poked my head up from my arm that was covering my head, seeing the others looking around too and were now covered in a thin sheen of sweat and dirt. I moved my hand underneath me, pushing myself up slowly as I coughed and tried to breathe since it felt like my lungs were crushed to the ground.
"Did we do it? Mike, did we do it?" Eddie asked as he was getting up and looking at Mike frantically. We were all back on our feet, seeing no trace of the balloon, or even the fire in the vase for that matter. it was dark again, and the eery quiet was making this worse since we didn't know what to do next.
"Yeah, with the…thing. That's good, right? We did it, right?" Richie asked in agreement with Eddie as we were all looking around for any signs of….any thing. It was quiet and still, having al of us feel like we are on pins and needles. Beverly aimed her flashlight right back at the structure we were in, seeing nothing at first.
The clown appeared with a roar.
We all scared, backing away instantly as we were huddling somewhat together. I rushed over to Stanley, seeing how his eyes were insanely wide from seeing the clown all over again. Stanley looked like he was about to scream out in terror as we were all shocked to see the clown's smile against the black wall of the structure.
"Oh, did it work Mikey? Did it work?" It mocked at us in a gleeful laugh. I could see how he was looking at each of us in the eyes, appearing to try and look within our souls and see if we were scared. None of us moved, but I could see how It was now looking at Stanley, his face shifting from glee in bringing us terror to somewhat agitation and anger from seeing him there. Stanley was frozen's his eyes were as wide as they could be from seeing the clown all over again, now as an adult.
The clown growled at Stanley, I shuffled over to stand in front of him almost like a shield. I knew this was going to be the worst on Stanley, and if what Stanley was saying up in the basement at NIebolt House, Pennywise thought Stanley was already dead at this point and he was slightly closer to getting the rest of us.
But now the tables were turned on the clown, and I could see it on the clown's face that he felt fooled, almost played. I stood in front of Stanley, seeing Pennywise glare still at Stanley and myself. Even though he wasn't moving, Stanley grasped my jacket from behind me in a death grip in case I was going anywhere. The clown then, reluctantly, moved his gaze over to Mike.
"Tell them why you're silly ritual didn't work. Tell them it's all just…what's the word, Eds? Gazebo?"
Eddie, though his eyes were still on the clown, turned his head slightly over at Mike in a confused look and tone.
"Mike, what is he talking about?" He asked in worry. Mike looked like he was crumbling, acting like he was a child with his hand in the cookie jar when he wasn't supposed to have it there. We were all looking over too, seeing how he was looking guilty then, slowly but surely.
"Mike, what's going on?" Stanley asked in hesitance right behind me. Mike looked over at him briefly, and I could see it in his eyes. He was being called out by the clown itself, and yet we weren't in on the joke.
"M-M-M-Mikey?" Bill called out. It felt like when Bill called his name, Mike was now crumbling. Maybe it was different when Bill called him out because they were closer in a friendship compared to the rest of us, and I could feel it too. Mike knew something.
"Oh, Mikey…you didn't show them the whole side did you?" He asked Mike in a mocking laugh, "You didn't want them to know what actually happened to the Shokopiwah…" It felt like we were brought here to be slaughtered then, how Mike was leaving one once piece of information that he didn't tell us. It made me feel betrayed, and I knew we were all feeling the same thing.
"Mikey, you lied to us again?!" Bill said to him, he was on the brink of pure anger and yet looking at the clown in concern.
"They…they didn't….they didn't believe they could kill It, that's why it didn't work back then!" Mike said in a stammer as he was desperate to have us see what he was trying to do. But it felt like it was already too much since we were all finally realizing what was going to happen to us there. It was a bit of betrayal from one of our own, which was worse.
"MIKEY, ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!" Richie screamed in a rage. This was clearly not the time or pace for this, and something was moving where the clown was. We stopped looking at Mike and we saw blues of pure light rising from the structure behind the clown.
"The deadlights! Don't look at them!" Beverly wanted us in a shout as they were rising in the air. We all ducked our head, slowly moving together in a flock farther away as the clown itself was coming out of the structure, showing it's form as some kind of massive insect. The claws alone were gigantic, as big as a car with the legs moving in different directions but Goethe as one. It was part spider and part clown.
"27 years, I dreamt you…I craved you…I missed you!" The clown said as it was growing his voice was now filling up the entire room. By now we seem like small ants in compared to how tall and mighty Pennywise was getting. The only person that was standing still, maybe in freight or in guilt that he was feeling, was Mike. He wasn't moving and now almost crumbling in tears as Pennywise was now towering over him, one of his hands morphing into what looked to be a spike.
"Mike! Come on, Mike!" Bill urged him as we were all looking at horror. If Mike wasn't going to move any moment, he was going to die, and although he did bring us down here for another reason do we were still hurt by what he did for us, he was still our friend and part of our Losers Club.
"I'm sorry, guys. I'm so sorry," Mike apologized in a sob as he was watching the clown how aiming his blade hard and still at Mike, about to strike like a snake. A part of me wanted to run out there and get Mike out of Harm's way, but the way Stanley was holding my jacket in his death grip, there was no way he was going to let me out of his sight.
"Time to float!" The clown roared, his blade flying down as Mike finally dove just in time. He fell to the floor and the blade was were inches away, the sound of the blade ramming into the ground was deafening and we all screamed out. Ben and Eddie rushed over to grab Mike, pulling him away from the blade that was coming back up in the air again.
"Run!" Bill yelled at all of us. Now we were sprinting away from the clown, who was now on a chase right behind us. I was outrunning the others, and yet every once in a while I would turn back to see where the others were. I could hear the clown laughing in a machining tone as one of the blades was trying to swipe at us but hitting the boulders and rocks along the side. Rocks were flying, having me duck my head down as I felt some of the rocks barely flying by my face as were. If we were still going to be running this way, this was not going to be good for us.
"Split up!" I yelled over my shoulder, feeling another set of rocks trying to knock me over because of another swipe of the blades. The last thing I wanted us all to do was be stuck together and taken out together, we had to think smart. I could see a small opening in the wall, almost like a cave that was tucked away, and I was running for it as fast as I could. After jumping over a few boulders that were in my way. I slipped right through the opening that I could make my way in.
The blade from the clown nearly swiped at us, barely missing me as Iw as ducking in the darkness of the cave. I pressed myself against the wall, seeing the clown roar in anger as it was trying to pawn its way in to get to me, so I maundered my way against the slippery wall and shuffled farther and farther into the cave, seeing that it now pitched back where I was.
I stopped, taking a few big breaths and trying not to panic. where were the others now? Were they okay? It made me panic since I was the one who told them to split up and now they could be in more trouble than I was. I looked out, seeing the small amount of the view that was part of the cave that we were just in moments ago. The flashing lights of the Deadlights and the sounds of the crumbling rock because of Pennywise. But as soon as I looked behind me to see what was further into the small cavern I was in, I was suddenly swallowed into darkness.
Where was I?
It only happened for a brief second, but then I realized where I was once I was able to see again. It was like I was back in my childhood home, having me see the familiar furniture and wallpaper that I grew up around. Everything seemed peaceful, the trees outside that sounded so calm in the wind, the fireplace that had the small smokey smell that would come through from time to time. It all seemed so real, very real as I was rotating around the room to make sure that I wasn't hallucinating.
I wasn't, was I?
Nothing moved for a moment, though I was walking around for a brief moment. I looked down, seeing that I was still an adult, and yet I was in my old house and see how it looked just the way it was when I was a little girl. This didn't make sense, none of this was making sense at all in my mind since it seemed all too picture-perfect.
This was off, something about this place wasn't real.
Someone moved in the kitchen, having me peek my head over as I saw what seemed to be the backside of my father. He was at the kitchen sink, his back to me. I could tell he looked youthful as he did that summer when we first encountered It, but as I walked closer to him, I didn't know what to do or what to say. It seemed off as I was walking closer and closer, now walking the linoleum kitchen floor and my shoes were making the distinct noise I would hear all the time as a child running into the kitchen to see him. Yet my father, if it was my father, didn't turn around to face me. He was standing so still that it felt like he was a mannequin.
Tentatively, I reached out and was about to touch the sleeve on his arm when suddenly, staring with his hand and toes, he was swishing away like he was made of ash. He didn't even look around to see me, though I saw him being flown away within my grasp. I was shocked, not believing all of this, and as he was no longer. I still had my hand out in front of me, and yet my father was gone.
It made me almost panic as I was looking around, seeing some of the pictures that my father placed on the walls in all the rooms. They were mostly of the both of us at random moments and during random adventures. But just like the being that was supposed to be my father, they too were disappearing along the walls. Every picture within the frames seemed like they were melting and whisking away before I could stop them, and it felt like a stomaching feeling that was sinking within my bones was now making me sick.
What in the hell was happening?
"Don't you see Robin…" it was the clown, sounding almost empathetic
to me as I was looking around to see where it was. I was still alone in the house, and as I was getting the feeling of anxiety coming over me now, the clown seemed like it was getting stronger within my head. It was seeping in like syrup, and now it felt like the clown was speaking in my head.
"No matter how hard to try…no matter how bad you want it….you're not that special…."
It was in my head, I knew it was because it sounded so loud within my brain. It felt like I wanted to cover my ears, but I was so shocked by what was going on around me while it felt like I was stumbling through the kitchen and into the hallway, seeing these pictures also dissolving in thin air.
"If only you could understand how no one in your life really loves you…..they only do it out of self-pity…"
"Stop it!" I muttered to myself mostly, ducking in slightly in hopes that it would make the voice stop. It was like the clown was playing in my head and knowing what was one of my worst fears, trying to turn it on me and make weak. As hard as I could try, some of it was getting under my skin. The thought of not being complete in a sense made me worried about if I was truly valued if I was truly wanted by others. The only time I ever felt complete was with my friends, but since I was one in this messed-up psychological trap, it was making me feel vulnerable.
"What's the matter, Robin? Afraid no one will fully love you? What about Richie, or Beverly? You think they love all of you, or they pity you and just wanted you to feel loved?"
"STOP!" I was now screaming, almost feeling the vibration of how I was screaming in all of the house like I was an earthquake. The voice in my head, the clown's voice, was getting loud ear more vicious as I was seeing the bathroom on my left side, shoving it open and squinting my eyes so hard shut that it was hurting. The brightness of the bathroom and how the clown was teasing me in my head was enough to make me scream out in both pain and agony.
Was it true, what he was saying about my friends? Was I just a friend out of pity for them? Why was it easier for me to realize than before since up until now I felt like I was way more vulnerable than ever. This had to be the strength behind Pennywise: breaking all pf us down to the very bone before killing us. Why was it working on me though?
"None of them will love you whole….not even your precious Stanley."
At the mention of his name, my eyes opened and I looked at the mirror above the sink right in front of me. There, in the reflection, was my younger self. My 13-year-old self was looking right back at me like it was my real reflection, the longer hair I had then and the youth in my face. But this time, it looked like I was in the cave as I was now: sweat and grim on my face and the shock in my eyes.
But Pennywise was right behind me, a wide smile on his crimson face.
The walls of the bathroom were shaking violently like an earthquake, the walls almost seeming to be closing in slowly but surely. I wanted to panic since this was still feeling way too real. I could even hear the clown laughing as I was feeling more and more anxiety and fear trying to come in.
Something in my head, something made me beyond angry with how I was looking at the clown. He made me angry from the moment Stanley's name was mentioned, and the way he said it was like he was toying with him. Stanley was too personal, at least to me, and to bring him into something like this to have me crack, it didn't seem right.
But then, I remember the times before, the times when I wasn't afraid of the clown.
Back to when I saw It the very first time in the community pool when It was a sea creature. I kicked it hard in the face with nothing but anger and rage inside of me. Although I never saw It before and it scared me to death, a part of me wanted to fight instead of fight.
The second time was when we were at Niebolt House. I was in that room with all the vines and the clown was so close to biting into my other arm. I saw how he used it against me, saying something so vicious and vial to me that made me fight back. I was afraid of the clown, but the bravery within me was overpowering me than the fear.
So why was this time different?
"You're the one who's afraid…afraid of all of us," I muttered, looking dead ahead at the clowns' reflection behind my younger self that was saying the same words at the same time. The clown almost faltered as I rounded my shoulders, "Because all you are in the end is a pathetic clown. You need us just to fucking breathe and survive, and yet we already fought you once."
The clown's smile was now slipping away as I was giving him the death glare. The walls that were close enough to touch my shoulders suddenly stopped, like the brakes were placed on them, The times when I stepped up to him was when he faltered and I found a weak spot in him. The others have to have known that too, but maybe I was the only one I've done it twice as a clown. If this was all in my mind if this was a way for Pennywise to try and break me down than it wasn't going to happen.
Not again.
Using the strength I had in my prosthetic hand, I reached over with my fingers to have my prosthetic to make a fist, trying to tune out what was going on in my head and how he was now scoffing me over and over on reply. It was slow how I did it, and once I made the first, I stood up straight and looked right ahead at Pennywise, who now looked engaged then gleeful. It must have known that I wasn't falling for that trap.
"I'm not afraid of you," I said to him in a bold tone. It was like we were having our own stare down, and although I was looking only at the clown that was about to rage out itself, I could see the little girl that was my reflection. It was nostalgic to see the same bravery and fear behind those eyes. I thought I forgot about her, how she was so willing to follow her friends and make them feel safe around her, and yet she was still competing for their love in her own way. I wanted to tell her they loved her, their love for her would be enough against the rest of the world.
"DO YOU HEAR ME?!" I screamed at the clown, though I could only hear the voice of my younger self, not my adult voice. But just hearing my younger self, the venom in her voice in how she was not stepping down, now it was reflecting through me. I looked at the yellow eyes straight on, and I saw the intense rage behind them as I yelled at it one more time.
"I'M NOT AFRAID OF YOU!"
As soon as I rose my prosthetic arm to slam the fist into the mirror, even went to black.