Shattered

Chapter 26

Author's Note: I finally got some motivation to finish this chapter! I've been really struggling lately with this story. I'm really hoping to have the last 2 chapters completed by next week. Thanks so much for reading the last chapter and leaving all your amazing reviews. You don't know how much I appreciate you waiting for me to upload chapters and staying by this story even though it's taking me far too long to finish. An ending is coming, I promise!

Sandra Paulsen should be happy. Her three daughters were all home which was something that hadn't occurred in years. Her eldest daughter, Donna, was getting married tomorrow. They should be celebrating. They should be drinking champagne and telling stories of the girls growing up. All three of her girls were successful in their careers. It was something she was overjoyed and proud of. Becca was a real estate agent and an amazing mother. Abby was a resident, working towards becoming a doctor and Donna was a big shot lawyer. Sandra's biggest worry was always their choice of men.

Sandra was in the kitchen, boiling water for her cup of tea. The bridesmaid dresses were hanging up in the family room. Abby and Becca had decorated the kitchen with paper penises and " bride to be" decorations.

Sandra should be happy but she wasn't. Donna was upstairs in her room with her door shut. Her eldest daughter was going through something and she wasn't completely sure how to help her. Maybe this was something Donna had to work out on her own.

As Sandra poured the scolding water into her coffee mug, she heard a small knock at the back door. At first, she thought it was just the rain but she heard the tapping again.

She walked closer to the door and saw him. She sighed but couldn't say she was surprised. She grabbed the cup of tea, turned the light on and walked out on the porch as she closed the door behind her.

He was already sitting in one of the chairs. She sat down in the other one. The rain was falling hard in the background as she sipped her tea.

"Hi Sandy" Harvey Spector said, after a few minutes of comfortable silence.

His hair was wet and he still had drops of rain on his face. He was wearing a khaki colored jacket with a pair of dark jeans. He looked... distressed. Sandra had never saw him like this. Harvey always had his shit together. She had always had a special place in her heart for Harvey Specter whether Donna and him were together or not. She always knew her Donna was safe when Harvey was around. She had hoped that they would figure their bullshit out eventually and end up together.

"What's your plan, Harvey?" Sandy asked, with a slight smirk on her face. She was worried but she also didn't expect Harvey to let this wedding go on without a fight, without one last ditch effort.

Sandy liked Marshall. She really did. She would be content having him as her son in law. She also knew that Donna wasn't happy working with Marshall's douchebag of a father. She knew how Donna was treated at that firm. She also didn't like that Marshall didn't have Donna's back. She hated comparing the two men but, to Sandy, Harvey was superior. She wouldn't tell Donna that.

Harvey gave a small chuckle, "I wish I had a plan, Sandy. I really do"

Sandy was always supportive of Donna and Harvey's relationship. He was appreciative of that even when he fucked up. She knew his intentions were there.

Sandy was drinking her tea as Harvey put a hand through his wet hair.

"Is... she happy?" Harvey asked, almost scared of the answer he was going to get. Maybe if the answer was yes, he could walk away with dignity. He would let her be happy. He didn't come here to complicate things. He wanted her to be happy. He really did.

Sandy sighed, "I really wish I could say that she was"

Harvey scooted around in his seat, " What do I do here, Sandy? I don't know what I should do"

At first, Sandy thought it was just rain. She quickly realized that he was crying. She had never saw Harvey cry besides at his dad's funeral. Her stomach and heart ached.

"I still love her" Harvey said, through tears, " I'll always love her. It doesn't go away"

Sandy reached over to put her hand on top of his, " I know that, Harvey. You want me to give you advice, Harvey? I don't know how helpful it's going to be or if it's what you want to hear"

Harvey nodded his head yes. He needed any advice.

"Donna is upstairs in her room right now. She's confused. She's unsure. She's sad. These aren't feelings you would expect to have the night before you get married. I don't think she knows what she's going to do tomorrow and I don't think Marshall knows anything is wrong. You could go up there and tell her you love her. You can have your ' Say Anything' moment but you shouldn't. I think you need to let her figure what she wants out on her own. What if you go up there and she says she loves Marshall? You don't want to go through that pain. You've been through too much. What if you go up there and she says she loves you but she ends up regretting not marrying him years later down the road? Honestly, mother's intuition, she's not going to marry him. She's going to realize it's not the right decision for her and she's going to come back to New York, to the firm, back to you"

It was Friday. Jessica's last day at the firm. No one was really doing much work as the office was having a goodbye party instead. Harvey hadn't talked to or saw Donna in person in 2 days since he was punched in the face by Marshall and she left him waiting hours at the bar to never show up. He didn't have the energy to call or reach out to her. He didn't know what happened between her and Marshall. He wanted to act like he didn't give a shit. He couldn't do that though. He didn't know where she was or if she was even going to show up today.

Harvey was not in the mood for a party but he was going to have to suck it up for Jessica. It was her last day at the firm and in New York.

Harvey got up from his desk, putting his hands in his gray suit pockets. He needed to socialize. He shut his office door and walked to the lobby where everyone was talking and drinking.

"I don't know if she's coming" Louis said, coming up behind Harvey with a glass of whiskey in one hand and a glass of wine in the other. He handed Harvey the whiskey.

"Shit, Louis" Harvey bitched, not realizing he was so close, " It would be really fucked up if she didn't" He knew Louis was talking about Donna. She needed to be here for Jessica.

"You two need to relax" Mike said, walking up to the men and nodding his head in the direction to the lobby where Donna had flowers and a gift in her hand as she was hugging Jessica.

Donna was wearing her wedding gown. She looked beautiful. Inside, she was freaking out. Was she really doing this? Her stomach was turning.

"Can you girls give us a minute?" Sandra Paulsen asked all the bridesmaids including Abby, Becca and Rachel.

Rachel gave Donna a worried look. She knew something was going on. Donna had been quiet all morning.

Once they were alone, Sandy looked Donna in the eyes and said calmly, "If you have any doubts at all, don't go through with it"

Donna looked taken aback. She didn't realize her mom knew what was going on inside her head. Mother's intuition really is a thing.

"Mom" Donna said, trying to not cry and ruin her makeup. She really hoped the makeup artist used water proof mascara or she would be a mess.

"I'm going to tell you something and I probably shouldn't but.. you deserve to know" Sandy said, her eyes getting watery too, " Harvey was at the house last night"

Donna's brows furrowed, "He was at what house?"

"My house" Sandy responded, " You were upstairs. Harvey and I talked on the porch"

Donna's eyes got big, "He was there? Last night? What the hell, mom?"

"You need to decide if marrying Marshall is the right decision for yourself, Donna. You have always been in charge of your own life. It's no different now. If you want to marry Marshall because you love him and you'll be happy, I support that. If you want to not get married, move from Boston and be single, I'll support that. If you want to be with Harvey, I'll support that."

"What did he say, mom?" Donna asked, "What did Harvey say?"

"He said that he still loves you, Donna" Sandy said, honestly. She wasn't going to lie to her daughter. She also didn't want Donna to get married because she felt like she had to just because she was in a church wearing a wedding dress. She could still walk away.

"Fuck" Donna whispered, her eyes watering. She was already questioning walking down that aisle. She had never been married before but she was pretty sure she was supposed to be happy, fucking ecstatic about getting married to Marshall. She wasn't happy or ecstatic. In fact, she had a pit in her stomach the last week thinking about this day.

"Do what you have to do, Donna" Sandy advised her daughter, " I will stand by and support whatever you decide. Your family, your friends. We will be here. Don't get married because you feel like it's your only option. It isn't. If you have any doubts at all.. Walk away and we will figure it out"

"Mom" Donna said, full blown crying now, "I quit the firm. I gave Cooper my resignation yesterday"

Sandy nodded, understanding. She knew something was going on. She wasn't sure if Harvey was even the reason. Donna was never one to talk about her feelings. As the eldest, she kept everything in. Even when she cried as a little girl, she would lie and say she was fine.

She wasn't fine then. She sure as hell wasn't fine now.

Sandy took a deep breath as there was a knock as the door.

"Do what you have to do" Sandy insisted, kissing her daughter on the temple.

Donna wasn't sure how long she had been standing here but, she wasn't ready to leave. She stood by the lobby by herself, with a half empty glass of overpriced red wine in her hand.

She stood right in front of the "Pearson Specter Litt" sign but, the "Pearson" was missing. They removed those letters this morning, atleast that's what she had heard.

Tomorrow morning, it would say " Specter Litt Paulsen". She couldn't fucking believe it. She was sad that Jessica was leaving but, she was also grateful and excited for what Jessica had offered her. She had been wanting to be a name partner since she was in Harvard. She didn't think it would ever actually happen.

Everything was coming full circle. Jessica was the reason she was able to go to Harvard and she was the reason she was becoming name partner at a New York law firm.

"Your name is going to look really good up on the wall" Harvey said out loud, interrupting Donna in her deep thoughts.

Donna hadn't spoken to Harvey in 2 days since she helped him ice his eye and had her heart to heart with Marshall. She wasn't intentionally avoiding him tonight at Jessica's going away party but she also wasn't going out of her way to speak to him either.

Donna glanced over to where Harvey was, standing in front of the sign as he pressed the down button on the elevator.

She opened her mouth a few times, wanting to say different things but instead she said, " You're leaving?"

Harvey breathed, expecting and hoping she would say something more meaningful.

"Yeah" He said, shrugging his shoulders. He was tired. He couldn't always be the one starting the important conversations with them. He couldn't do it anymore.

" Since when are you one to leave a party early?" Donna joked, struggling with what to say.

Harvey sighed, as the elevator doors opened. He slowly walked in.

"I'm tired, Donna" She knew that had multiple meanings. He looked exhausted. She felt terrible knowing she left him waiting at the bar. He was tired but he still looked good. Harvey always looked good.

The doors shut but Donna placed her heeled foot to prevent it from closing.

"I went home to see my mom, Harvey" Donna answered, knowing he was wondering where the hell she had been. He didn't know how her conversation with Marshall has went. She hadn't had a chance to tell him.

Harvey shrugged again, " You can go wherever you want, Donna. You don't have to tell me. It's not my business. You could have gone with Marshall..."

"I didn't" Donna said, sternly. She felt her eyes watering. She tried to fight the urge to cry, to get emotional. She knew he didn't mean anything he was saying. He was just angry. He didn't mean any of this.

Again, Harvey shrugged and spoke, " It's not my business. You're not my business. We aren't anything. We're friends. We're ... just colleagues. It's been years of us doing this. Together, not together. We're never going to figure it out and we're too damn old to keep doing this. I'm too old to do this"

"You're just going to give up?" Donna asked, angrily. She didn't know what she expected from Harvey but she expected more than this.

"Yeah" Harvey said, quietly, avoiding looking into Donna's eyes, " I think I am"

"You are such an asshole" Donna yelled, tears were dropping from her eyes

"What the fuck do you want from me, Paulsen?" Harvey yelled back, his heart racing, "I waited 3 hours for you. I'm starting to think it's your thing now"

"What? What is my thing?" Donna asked, confused and pissed off.

"Running away when shit gets hard" Harvey responded back, " You're really good at actually"

He didn't feel good saying any of that. He knew it was going to hurt her but he was pissed off too.

Donna felt like she had been gut punched. It hurt Harvey would say that. It was a low blow.

The elevator door kept trying to close with Donna's leg still preventing it from allowing to do so.

Donna took a few deep breaths, allowing them both a few seconds to calm down.

"Is there an engagement ring in your bedroom dresser?" Donna asked, a question that had been on her mind for a few days.

Harvey's eyebrows furrowed in confusion before realizing what she was asking, she had found the box in his dresser drawer.

" Did you open the box, Donna?" Harvey questioned.

"No, I didn't" Donna admitted. She really wanted to open the box but she didn't.

"Do you want to know what's in the box?" Harvey asked, again.

The elevator was now making an obnoxious noise as the door was unable to close.

Donna walked into the elevator.

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