Forgive
Everything that mommy said bugged me the whole week. I feel so useless. But then I convinced myself that I shouldn't worry about it. I just said what I deemed as right.
It was early when I arrived at the restaurant where Natsu and I are going to meet. I already have a design for the first two rooms of his house. The first one is the blue room. Everything is blue from the curtains, bed, wallpaper, and carpet. The second room is the red room. It's a mixture of colours red and cream and I hope he likes it.
I opened my laptop. I went here early by choice to make the designs more detailed.
I didn't notice my eyes drifting to the restaurant's door. A slim woman with an average height entered. The large sun glasses and red dress indicates her status and class. My eyes are glued on her and I don't know why. She walked towards a table and sat down, it was when I realised why I kept on staring at her.
She's familiar. She returned the menu to the waiter and gave an overall look at the restaurant before standing up and leaving.
My stomach felt cold. She already left but I still felt nervous.
Touka Alabaster graced the restaurant I'm in! No one has told me anything about her whereabouts. And it looks like they're not partners with the Drakes anymore so Natsu told me nothing about her. I wonder what happened to her? And her family?
I wasn't able to do anything after an hour. I was just staring into nothing. I don't know if I'm scared or just numb. When we last saw each other three years ago, I almost died. And now... she's here freely gracing the paths I'm in?
My nervousness just ceased upon seeing Natsu enter the restaurant. I gasped and tilted my head to continue my thoughts. Maybe she just looks like Touka.
"Did I make you wait?" Natsu greeted in a worried tone.
I shook my head absentmindedly, "I just arrived," an hour ago, though. "I finished something."
He nodded, "I'm sorry, I finished a meeting in the building."
He doesn't really need to apologise. He's fifteen minutes early. I just happened to be here early by choice.
"That's okay. I really went here early. You're not late..."
He gave me an overall look. It looks like he memorised everything about me that he'll notice even the slightest change in demeanour. I straightened my back and remained formal.
"I want to order first. I'm hungry," I said.
"Okay..." he called the waiter but his eyes remained on me, weighing my every move. No silence can convince him that I'm fine.
"I'd like some Solumeria..." I said and avoided his eyes. The waiter took my order and proceeded with Natsu who also said his and asked for a wine. I slightly calmed down. Maybe it's just my imagination. It's not Touka Alabaster.
"You okay?" He asked.
"Yup..." I said.
It made me remember everything mom said to me because of Natsu. I looked at him.
"You don't look fine, though..."
"I'm fine," I repeated.
Instead of delaying the meeting to wait for food, I decided to start it now. I grabbed my laptop and gave him the hard copy of the designs.
"These are the two rooms you want me to design. You didn't give me exact details. You just wanted each room to be different so I did this."
The designs I'm showing got his attention but I can still see him sneaking glances on me.
"Carpeted floors and unique styles. The bathrooms here aren't as huge as the master's bedroom so I changed the materials. The bed's are not as big too and the curtains are unique."
He nodded to my designs. I thought he'll comment something again but he placed it on the table, "I'm fine with that. Next two rooms next week, then?"
"Yup. I can do that. What designs do you want?"
"Any. As long as it's unique. No one would use those rooms anyway. The master's bedroom is the only one that would be used for the mean time."
I frowned. I've been wanting to say this for a while now.
"I can, you know, do designs for the living room and kitchen since the rooms aren't really important. I can design them later. So you can live there without waiting for everything to be finished," he nodded while looking at me.
"You're right. Let's do it first? Maybe you want to visit my house at Caspius Park so you can see the actual house?"
I raised an eyebrow, "I'm sure I can do designs through the blue print..."
"It's still better to personally see it, Luce. I'm working in this business for years and I know..."
"Fine!"
The corner of his lips rose. I can't believe he's trapped me to this.
Our food came. He gathered the copies of designs I gave him and put it aside. The waiter put our food on the table and poured wine to our glasses. Natsu's eyes intensely bored into mine.
"So... when are we going to see my house?"
"I'm fine next Saturday," I said.
"Okay then. I'll pick you up —"
"No!" I quickly said.
I don't want him to go to my condo! Even near my building, no!
"I can drive my way to Caspius Park!"
He laughed, "Come on... What's wrong with picking you up? It saves you from driving and gasoline, Luce."
Nervousness crept to my heart. I feel like if I insist with this, he'll just doubt more, "Fine. Just call me if you're in the basement parking already."
I turned to the food. I just ate to distract myself from overthinking things. He's watching me while I'm eating. It made me uneasy. Even my mouth is tense as I chew my food. I looked at him and caught him sipping his wine while staring at my lips.
What the hell?
Memories rained down on me. Why am I remembering these now?
"You're blushing..." Natsu said.
My cheeks and ears heated some more as if it wants to praise him for naticing. I feel like he can read everything in my mind. God! This is not good!
"Are you afraid I'll see you and Sting together in your unit?"
I almost chocked at his question. His eyes are serious. He turned to the food and started eating.
"Sting's not living in my condo unit."
"Oh yeah? Then why is he visiting you, then? Still at it?"
He's visiting Beau! Not me!
"How did you know that Sting and I aren't really together, by the way?"
He violently sighed and sipped his wine, "I just know..."
Damn! Is he investigating me again? "Are you stalking me? Or paying someone to stalk me?" I lashed out.
"No! Damn it, Lucy! I don't do that anymore," he said in a more irritated voice.
I got shock at his sudden irritation. I forced myself to calm down bu drinking my water and staring at him.
"Then how did you know?" I'm sure my mom didn't tell him. Especially Ashley, then how?
"I just know. I don't want to pay people to stalk you anymore..." he said with hardness, "I fired the last man I hired."
I frowned. I wonder why? It's not like I like that he's investigating me! I'm just wondering what happened. But his phone rang before I could ask why.
His jaw clenched. I stayed silent and avrted my eyes to my food. He fished for his phone and raised his eyes to look at me.
"I have to get this call. Excuse me..."
I thought he'll stand up and walk away for privacy but he stayed on our table. I slowly took a bite while listening.
"Yes..." he breathed, "Okay... Okay... I'll... yup... I'll get there. Here?"
Natsu observed the place. I saw the raw and unadulterated anger in his eyes. He turned back to me. I raised an eyebrow at him. I can't understand his reaction.
"Damn it! Then search everywhere! I'll wait for his call!" Natsu's tone raised at the caller. I wonder who is it? I just shurgged and turned to my food again.
He dropped his call. He was just about to tell me about it when his phone rang for another call.
"Zeref..." he greeted, "Yes... I'm with Lucy right now..."
I stopped upon hearing my name. What is this all about? "Yes. I'll be there... Yes, I'll do that. I'll send some..."
Our eyes met. He's still on the phone but he couldn't tear his eyes away from me.
"I don't know. I can't risk it. I'd rather have her with me..." Natsu said.
His brother is the one on the other line, right? I wonder if it's about business?
He dropped his phone again. He took a deep breath before talking. "Are you free tonight?" he asked.
"I am here with you. I have nothing to do except this meeting with you. Why? What's the problem?" I panicked because his reaction earlier and now screams problem.
"I mean the whole night. I want to bring you to our headquarters..."
My jaw dropped. I don't know what for. Beau's with Aries and I'm sure Sting and Virgo are there too.
"Where is your headquarters?" I asked.
"It's in Balsam. We might come home tomorrow. Are you free?"
Damn it! What is this for? Why am I going to their headquarters? Headquarters of what? I got more distressed. Won't this he like what happened years ago in... no... I trust Natsu. He won't hurt me. He got jailed for almost a year and... but maybe it's true that this might be his revenge?
He tightly grasped my hand which cut of any doubt in me. I immediately calmed down.
"I just want to confirm something. It's about business. In Drakes Security Headquarters, Lucy."
I didn't flinch. I couldn't deny that I'm scared that I cannot reply.
I feel stupid. Because I still fully trust him despite anything that has or will happen. I still feel secured. I still feel safe with him. That even if he brought me to the base of the people who tried killing my father, I know I'll still be safe because he's with me. I can't believe it.
"Don't worry. It's the safest place for you, Luce. There won't be a repeat of what happened before. I fixed everything in Drakes. I can't risk it anymore. The traitors are already in jail. Whatever happened years ago was my responsibility that's why I couldn't blame your father for filing a case against me..."
Daddy clearly confessed that the ambush was entirely his fault. They were at it for Senator Alabaster but they made a mistake so it was Natsu's father who suffered. I bit my lip. The corner of my eyes heated because of the tears that are threatening to fall. I don't know what's going to happen next but I don't want to carry this burden anymore.
"Natsu, daddy still has no rights to accuse you. He's the one at fault. He's at fault from the very beginning..."
He stared at me softly. The expression on his eyes didn't change.
"He's one of the masterminds of the ambush where your father died. I... I don't know if you know this and I don't care if you'll get mad at our family again-"
"I know that from the very beginning, Luce. Even before I met you, I already know that," he coldly said. "We didn't file a case because we lack evidences. And... your dad regrets what happened." I shook my head, cannot believe that it's his only reason.
"Daddy regrets what happened so it's okay with you, Natsu? It's fine with you? You'll just forget that your dad died because of my daddy? I can't believe that it's your only reason."
Natsu tightly closed hie eyes. I felt something pinch my heart, I hate seeing him like this. I hate seeing him hurt. It's like I'm forcing him to remember something that he desperately buried and want to forget.
"You taught me to forgive Lucy..." he opened his eyes, "This is not fine with me. The death of my father still gives me pain, Lucy but you... you taught me to forgive. I fell for you hard, Luce. I don't want a feud to come between us so I'll choose to forgive..." he said.
I stayed silent as he continued, "Please trust me. The company needs me and I need you by my side. Can I borrow you tonight?"
If me trusting Natsu is the question, then yes. The trust I have for him is greater than the trust I have for myself. The high walls surrounding my heart that I've built years ago are now starting to crumble.
"I need to make some calls, then..." I said and turned to my phone. I stared at it for a while. Beau's face lingered in my mind. Baby, I'll be back tomorrow. Maybe in this trip, I can finally tell Natsu about you.
"Okay. Thank you," he softly said.
I nodded and clicked Aries' number. "I'll assemble my bodyguards outside. I'll be back in two minutes..."
I nodded and waited for Aries to answer. Natsu was now slightly far when Aries answered the call. The unit noisy. Sting, Virgo, Aries are laughing in the background. I can even hear the faint voices of Loke coming from the speakers. I sighed. At least Beau won't be too lonely tonight.
"Aries, I won't come home later, I'll be back by tomorrow morning. Can you give the phone to Virgo?"
"Okay, Miss.."
I heard Aries called Virgo. I also heard Loke's question about me being the caller. It seems they're video calling.
"It's Miss Lucy," Loke and Sting got silent.
"Hello, Princess..." Virgo greeted on the other line.
"Hey! Uh... Virgo, I'm sorry for the hassle. Do you have plans tonight?" I asked.
"No. Why?"
"I'm sorry to ask this but I might not be able to come home tonight. Can you-"
"Of course, Mommy Lucy! I'm more than willing to! I can't even touch Beau when you're here anyway so it's really really fine that you won't be home tonight so I can have Beau bu myself.",
I smiled "I'll come home tomorrow morning."
"Or you can come home the next week?" She laughed, "Kidding. What's this all about? hmmm?" Her voice is full of curiosity.
I saw Natsu entered the restaurant. I need to put my phone down.
"I need to do some things. Sorry, Virgo. Thank you, really!"
"It's nothing, Princess. And you know I'm always willing for Beau..."
"Thank you so much..." I said.
Natsu was in front when I ended the call. I felt the longing in my heart but I'll risk this. I just hope I'll grow some backbone in this trip to tell him that we have a son.