Breakdown

by BeautyintheBreakdown1992

What if Bella was not the shy, bookish girl she claimed to be? The Cullens betray Bella's trust, revealing something they were never meant to see. Explore the world of the Fae, and experience the war for Bella's soul. Bella-whump/Bella-bamf /ALL OF THE WARNINGS!/ Songfic / AU part-way through New Moon/ Canon Pairings /Epic/ NOT dark fic, but darkish. the good guys win. WAR fic.

27. Chapter 25- Strength (EXCERPT ARC)

Welcome back to magick land! This is a chapter that shot off from the last one.

Um, looooong. Very long. Wow, long. Sorry. I'm a wordy bastard.

Need a break? After Ain't no Rest for the Wicked is best.

UPDATE: IMPORTANT! I actually ended up cutting this chapter in half. SO now there are three more chapters. Sorry. This story keeps going places I don't expect. *Squints at keyboard confusedly.*

Uh. Sorry. IM GETTING THERE! The next chapter is the last in the EXCERPT Arc, and THEN we will do the Finale, which is two chapters that round out ARC 4. Sorry.

THEN ITS TIME FOR NEW FIC. I get to round out the 'Verse, play with other characters a little. I will either be doing FAE vs. VOLTURI next, or going backwards in the timeline and rounding out Addy/Fio/Bella (CHILDHOOD) some. ...or I might take a break for fluffy excerpts. I miss the Cullen snark. This fic has gotten so serious.

Formatting= nightmare.

Bella really shouldn't go on vacations. They make her angst act up.

I use the chorus from Courage, by Superchick in this chapter, but I don't use the whole song. It's a great song, just a little too specific. Anyhow, I'll include it in the playlists anyway.

Um, for clarity's sake: Binding is like slavery, Purging is like genocide. Also, prepare for MASSIVE overuse of the italics setting. Sorry, not sorry.

YA'LL WANT SOME ANGST? SOME SNARK? SOME SMUT? SOME ACTION? I'm bringing it, ya'll! There is a car chase in the next chapter!

M for Mature.

RKD-CULLEN, you are so awesome. I just adore that you enjoy this story as much as you do. It makes it worthwhile. Thanks for sticking with me and always leaving feedback.

I'm a little concerned this chapter is jumbled and unclear. Let me know.

*sidenote- because I split this chapter, there are very few pictures for this chapter. There will be TONS next chapter, so yeah...*

If any of my readers have something that is bugging them about the way I write, please, please, tell me! I want to improve.

READ AND REVIEW!

LINKS:

DEVIANTART:

faeshadows/gallery/74078927/breakdown-25-strength

SPOTIFY:

playlist/1v3lZ6rUHvm9jvEQhxPMd1?si=w8irXMQzSrOjcZnyUKSebw

YOUTUBE:

playlist?list=PL6e4Mph9w4WD774ngDrFMBeiOqBoaO6b8

SING

"Stop the car." Bella had snapped awake in an instant, tense in Edward's embrace in the back of the Hummer: alarmed, angry, and determined.

"Huh?" All was calm, and a puzzled Carlisle looked back at them in the rear-view; sure that he had misheard her.

Bella's reaction was violent in the extreme.

"Now." she snarled. Her eyes flashed a fierce gold, and the Hummer jerked to a stop between the rows of dirty shacks that made up the slums on the very edge of the city; the engine suddenly screeched to a stop and stalled out. Before Edward or anyone else could focus past the whiplash, Bella had flashed out of the Hummer in a blinding light.

The Cullens rushed to follow her, and when Edward laid eyes on Bella again, she was already striding with angry determination back the way they had come: spitting mad with no explanation. Edward strained his telepathy, his hearing and his sight, but he could find nothing out of place in the area around them. It was just a normal night in Catemaco.

Bella approached a ragged soccer goal and an abandoned, dirty ball sitting innocently between two houses, rounding the corner to the alley beyond. Quickly, they followed her around the corner to the narrow length of the crowded space. She was fuming, vibrating with suppressed rage. The river of gold in his head was flooding, screaming at him, and it hurt.

Some odd sensation wrapped around Edward and his family for a moment, like walking under a waterfall and coming out the other side, suddenly able to see the world beyond. The second Edward felt it, his telepathy processed a pounding bass beat in someone's' thoughts. The hair on the back of his neck rose, and he processed the presence of people very near him as the magickal camouflage faded. The song echoed through three individuals just out of sight; heartbeats were pounding.

Bella snarled wordlessly, a feral sound, and there was a streak of gold like a whip striking. Two men and a young teen boy were thrown to Bella's feet from where they had been hidden behind a stack of crates.

The boy was disoriented and obviously in pain, bruised and gasping. His clothes were torn, and he looked empty, like a puppet whose strings had been cut, twitching helplessly as neurons tried to connect. His eyes were open and staring, but he didn't register the world around him; he was caught in some horrific fantasy that held him in its thrall. His attackers were dressed in all black, and when they got to their feet their eyes flashed a bright red and deep purple, respectively; before their gazes faded, and fear crossed the Fae's faces.

Sing it out
Boy, you've got to see what tomorrow brings
Sing it out
Girl, you've got to be what tomorrow needs
For every time that they want to count you out
Use your voice every single time you open up your mouth

"You stupid sons-of-bitches. You had to know I was here, that you would get caught. Carlos may turn a blind eye to your bullshit, but I'll be damned if I stand by and allow this."

Bella's words were a deadly hiss, and her eyes narrowed as the two thugs looked around, taking in his vampire family and weighing their chances in fight or flight. She snapped her fingers the second the men's eyes locked with Edward's, and the muscle-bound Fae fell to their knees involuntarily. She was longing for them to fight her, cutting off their option to run and infuriated by their disrespect.

"How dare you look at him."

Sing it for the boys
Sing it for the girls
Every time that you lose it sing it for the world

One of the men struggled, and the smell of fresh blood met Edward's nose. Bella's royal blade was ripping a slow line through her arm, smoothly nestling itself in her hand as she pointed it at the struggling man's throat. A sick grin was forming on her face, and black flared for a moment in her eyes.

"Please. Give me a reason."

Sing it from the heart
Sing it till you're nuts
Sing it out for the ones that'll hate your guts

The other one panicked at the threat to his companion and began to mutter frantically, his eyes lowered.

"Please, your majesty, we were just craving. Mayra said we could. With your intervention, the boy will be fine, he will not go into the nothing. He's only a mortal, please, just let us go."

"Only a mortal." The words seemed to enrage Bella further as she echoed them, and there was a sharp spike in the malicious intent of the golden river. She raised her weapon, preparing to strike. Bella was on the verge of murdering these men, wanted to.

"Bella, please." Carlisle's voice was forcibly calm, though his thoughts were racing. "What's going on?"

Bella shivered delicately before she paused, and her flaming eyes, sharp like knives, met Carlisle's. Edward felt a faint jealousy towards his father once more. She didn't answer him, instead slapping the man who had spoken with the flat of her blade, knocking him to the floor without even looking at his crumpled form, freezing both of her captives into place.

Her eyes turned to Edward, and he remembered the Bella of the battlegrounds: the fierce warrior who gloried in evil men's deaths. The situation was already critical, already deadly, whether he understood why or not. Edward suddenly realized fully that this confrontation would result in someone's death, and his eyes rested for just a moment on the spot where Bella's blade met her forearm, marked by his bite. He broke the tense silence and addressed his lover with his strong command:

"Not like this, Bella. Take a moment, talk to me."

Sing it for the deaf
Sing it for the blind
Sing about everyone that you left behind
Sing it for the world
Sing it for the world

Bella went almost vampirically motionless. Her breath stopped, and the horrifying dark smile dropped from her face, which went blank as her eyes flared with a defiant gold. Robotically, she lowered her weapon, though the blade remained at the ready. Another delicate shudder, and this one raised goosebumps on her skin. Her gaze was intense, locking on his as the gold faded from her eyes like clouds parting, the doe-brown shining through until only a faint sheen of sparks was left. She yielded to him.

"Carlisle Cullen, attend to your patient."

Carlisle looked taken aback for just a moment. Something dark was racing through him; it was there and gone in his father's thoughts faster than Edward could process it. Nevertheless, Carlisle turned his attention to the mortal boy still shaking on the ground behind the magickally frozen thugs, and his thoughts quickly grew concerned as only a physicians' could be. The boy was in bad shape, and the physical damage alone did not explain his state.

Sing it out, boy they're gonna sell what tomorrow means
Sing it out, girl before they kill what tomorrow brings
You've got to make a choice
If the music drowns you out
And raise your voice
Every single time they try and shut your mouth

"Edward."

He turned his full attention to his lover.

"I cannot allow them to live. They break the law. No Fae may purge power from another who is not a member of the Temple or a Champion."

"Okay, well, it is comforting to know legal jargon is a universal constant. The exceptions I understand enough about to get by. "Champions" I think I've read about. They are chosen in battle or are monarchs. According to what I've read, temple Fae are the exception to practically every Fae custom and law. What the hell does "purging power" mean? Like what happened to Ipswitch?"

Bella began to pace, and the eyes of the men she had condemned followed her movement. They were trying to watch for it, to see the end before it came. Edward wondered if she would allow them to. She wouldn't look at him and her eyes, focusing on the cross guard of the sword in her hand, were conflicted.

Sing it for the boys
Sing it for the girls
Every time that you lose it sing it for the world
Sing it from the heart
Sing it till you're nuts
Sing it out for the ones that'll hate your guts

Then, Bella seemed to come back to herself. She sighed and sat on the crates piled against the dilapidated wall, looking suddenly like she had run a marathon or crossed the desert.

"Purging is the process of stealing another's magicks, their very life force. Everything and everyone have magicks, in some form or another; Fae can simply access it. Even mortals have some: but removing a Fae's magick is a complicated, dangerous process. "

"I'm proof of that, if the Purge of the Ipswitch line wasn't enough. The Master is by far the most powerful Fae to exist anywhere in history, bar none. Even Shanarra couldn't face him now, with Ipswitch magicks fully planted in his spirit. And yet, he failed to absorb my power or force it to obey him. That fact alone serves to prove how difficult it is to separate a Fae from their magicks."

"It's different, for mortals. They have no defenses, instinctual or otherwise, aren't even aware that there is something beyond energy or mass. Any Fae could steal a mortal's magicks, at any time. It's not even hard. In ancient times, it happened constantly. "

"But doing that will always, always kill the person. And it isn't a nice death, it's worse than that. Magicks hold the piece of us that continues to the other-side, and without it, your spirit cannot escape your flesh. For most victims, it's not just a death, it is annihilation- a ceasing of existence, the purest expression of destruction, the darkest of the dark. There is some debate as to whether Binding is worse or better than Purging, but I have never seen why both can't be equally horrific. "

"And it's addictive. Purging power provides an insane power boost and is euphoric besides: think PCP or amphetamines, times about a billion. "

"That boy is an initiate into a drug-cartel run by Mayra and her associates. The Spellmans make a great deal of money from the drug market, among other things. I don't really have a huge problem with that, I'd be pretty hypocritical to condemn them for it. Besides, this crime is much more serious. She and the Fae involved in her operation have been under suspicion of Purging mortals for a while, but there was no proof. Something isn't right, Mayra couldn't keep this secret on her own."

Sing it for the deaf
Sing it for the blind
Sing about everyone that you left behind

"There is no way the Spellmans are complicit in this. Carlos couldn't, wouldn't stand for it, not even from his kin. He can't have known what Mayra is doing or the actions of her followers. There is a reason their compound is in the mortal world, instead of Havana. The Spellman line has a long history of counting mortals as their friends, even defending them from other Fae bloodlines."

"Not to mention that complicity or unreported knowledge of any possible Purging is treated with the same severity as the crime itself. The punishment is death. Always. No exceptions. It is part of the burden of our government, since before Shannara united the bloodlines."

Sing it for the world
Sing it for the world

Jasper was fighting dark memories; he was wondering how many people Bella had killed, how many she had executed. Edward kept a close eye on him for any condemnation but felt nothing but sadness and guilt in his brother's thoughts. Jasper felt horrified that he had not considered the harsh reality of Bella's responsibilities as queen, and suddenly considered more heavily the cost of her crown. Memories of the vampire wars and Maria were loud in his thoughts. His voice was whisper soft when he spoke.

"Is there no trial?"

Bella snorted. "Judging by the fact that the boy's aura is screaming so loud that it woke me up, I'd say the proof of the crime is pretty definitive. Trials are a mortal invention, Jasper, and a new one at that. Fae tend to solve our conflicts more...directly. Justified killing is no crime in Havana. Only senseless murder is condemned, and even then, you have to be really obnoxious about it to warrant capital punishment. I had hoped our suspicions were wrong, that it would not come to this. I did not wish to make Carlos responsible for hunting down and executing his kin; now it is unavoidable."

Cleaned-up corporation progress
Dying in the process
Children that can talk about it
Living on the railways
People moving sideways
Sell it till your last days
Buy yourself a motivation
Generation Nothing
Nothing but a dead scene
Product of a white dream

Bella stood, and Carlisle grew alarmed. He stretched out a hand like he would stop her, but did not move from where he knelt next to the boy.

"My daughter, you will kill them like this? They are at your mercy."

"There is no surrender for them, Carlisle. You see the boy's aura. Would you have me let his killers go free? Or perhaps I should delegate their punishment, have someone else do the deed. Would that be more palatable to you? If I simply gave the order, instead of feeling their blood on my hands? Others have, previous rulers. I will not. The burden is hard enough to bear as it is, I will not take the coward's way."

"Forgiveness is not mine to give, and the boy is not cognizant enough to provide it, even if it would change the demands of justice. Community cannot exist without law, and law without consequence is nonsense."

"And as for mercy? They are at my mercy, and the boy was at theirs. As every human is to every vampire, and as every mortal is to every Fae. As I am at Edwards'; as I am at all your mercy, and as you are at mine. There is a difference between mercy and foolishness. My people live by my judgement whether I like it or not, and my judgement stands. I will not be swayed."

"Your judgement is your own, as always it has been and always as it will be. You are Fae, with the rights and responsibilities of every Fae citizen. I will protect your right to your own thoughts as long as I am able. But this is my duty. And it is your duty to honor your queen."

"If you want to fight about it, throw a punch. Maybe you will overcome my power: maybe you will win, and I will yield to your rule. Otherwise, discussions are best left for later."

I am not the singer that you wanted
But a dancer
I refuse to answer
Talk about the past, sir
Wrote it for the ones who want to get away

Keep running

"These men die. Tonight. Right now."

She turned her attention to the dark Fae she had apprehended and removed the freezing, though the men remained on their knees under the heavy pressure of Bella's powerful magicks. "Give your names."

"Jeremiah Spellman." the man who had faced the edge of Bella's blade ground out the words as though they were ripped from him and spat on the ground, sneering at where his gaze was forcibly fixed. "Long Live the Master."

The other one was still for a long moment; before he finally fought her hold on him, so he could raise his head just enough to meet Bella's eyes.

"I am Jeremiah's chosen. My parents called me Isaiah Shaman, a name I have destroyed for love of another. I have made my choices and beg no forgiveness, my queen." Some understanding passed between Bella and the man. When Bella nodded, her face softening for an instant, he lowered his head in a grateful bow.

Bella met Edward's eyes once more, her eyes flooding with gold. It was as though she was waiting. Oh. For him to shield his eyes. But Edward was no fool, and he knew himself almost as well as he knew her. He had known this would come, that there would be a day when Bella was called upon to be a judge for her people. It had already happened, just not so directly. So, he nodded at her sharply and kept his eyes open.

Sing it for the boys
Sing it for the girls
Every time that you lose it sing it for the world

She took a step, and Emmett released a strangled sound. He and Rosalie clutched hands and turned their backs. Esme turned away too; venom tears were in her eyes. Carlisle's gaze on the slowly dying boy grew fixed, his fingers flexing as his efforts to heal him with magick and medicine failed.

Alice's eyes were on her husband. Jasper had a faraway stare on his face, but did not move, and it made Bella pause and look at him, really look. A terrible grief crossed her face as she approached her "younger" brother.

"Jasper. My dear brother. Hush now, little toy soldier. I am not her, and I do not hold myself above the law. The war is long done, and death comes for everyone. We will all face judgement, eventually. Mine and yours are simply not here yet. Be patient. Come on now: Alice needs your comfort. Turn around."

She gripped Jasper lightly by the shoulder, turned his motionless form away from the captured men and their victim. Jasper went with her: a mannequin in a shop window, moving where she directed him and staying there. She stroked his face, closed his eyelids gently with the thumb of her unarmed hand. Alice took a step closer and tangled her hand with his, glancing back at the criminals kneeling on the ground.

"Alice. Hum."

His sighted sister did; she ran her thumbs over the scar between Jasper's thumb and forefinger. When Bella turned and strode past Edward, he twirled her into his grasp, kissed her hard with a closed mouth and flooded her mind with scarlet, with his all-consuming love, before he released her.

Sing it from the heart
Sing it till you're nuts
Sing it out for the ones that'll hate your guts

The men were motionless, and now so was the boy: his twitches stilling and his face going blank. His heartbeat stopped, and Bella shifted her grip on the sword that marked her the rightful ruler of the Fae.

Got to see what tomorrow brings
Sing it for the world
Sing it for the world
Girl, you've got to be what tomorrow needs
Sing it for the world
Sing it for the world

Edward was the only one who saw the silent tear that escaped and traced Bella's cheekbone as she slit the men's throats.

The Sound of Silence (Disturbed)

A moment passed in tense silence as Bella took in three corpses barely shielded from mortal view.

Well, shit. The day had been going so well.

Bella sighed deeply as she wiped the slate blade on her scarf and approached the boy and Carlisle, reeling it back into her arm. Honestly, some days she hated the stupid thing. Her magicks buzzed unhappily at the thought, and Bella reassured them hastily. Well,not most days, anymore.

That hadn't even been the hard part.

She was supposed to be on vacation, dammit! Ugh, she needed a drink. Rose turned to comfort her brother, and Esme and Emmett turned at the sound of her footsteps, focusing on her and Carlisle. Bella removed her father's hands from where he was performing CPR.

"He is dead; but there are worse things. There is more to save here than just his life. Watch closely. You can learn to do this, if you pursue a healer's training. This is Spirit."

Carlisle watched his daughter closely as a single echo reverberated in the air around her, and his family followed his lead.

Bella closed her eyes, focusing, and the world fell away. She hardly ever healed in this way, hardly ever reached past reality; and there had only been one other occasion where she had used this spell. That time had been completely involuntary, and disastrous besides.

Her mind shied away from the experience, too similar. She pushed it onward anyway: pouring magick into the boy's body, like water, to ease his passage. She chased the echo of his last panicked thought as it raced from reality, ever outward. She reached inward too, found her center and steeled herself, as she looked upward and past the stars.

Hello darkness, my old friend
I've come to talk with you again
Because a vision softly creeping
Left its seeds while I was sleeping
And the vision that was planted in my brain
Still remains
Within the sound of silence

She traced the walls of the cavern passage between life and death, relished the cool waters of the river Styx around her ankles. "Hello, old friend." the waters seemed to sing. "Back again?"

She could see the other-side from here, a misty shore on the opposite side of the wide river, and she felt the familiar sharp pang of longing.

In restless dreams I walked alone
Narrow streets of cobblestone
'Neath the halo of a streetlamp
I turned my collar to the cold and damp

She searched among the glowing presences, the echoes of people traveling from here to there. It was always one-way traffic, and she searched for the boy's aura: which had been a baby-blue color.

There! He had gone too far downstream: he was drowning as his spirit tore itself to shreds violently. He was entirely too close to the nothingness that cradled the bottom of the river. Damn. It never went smoothly.

She cast her air-magick into the space around her and dove into the freezing water. She would only get one shot at this. Please God, don't let her get caught up in the current: it was not yet her time, she had things to do, people to love. Edward.

Focus, Bella, on anything but that siren song. Anything but the promise that they were waiting.

When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of a neon light
That split the night
And touched the sound of silence

As she swam, every aura struggling against the current that was carrying them away from their existence reached for her, pulling at her clothes and grabbing for her hair. They were desperate for the light of her life, trying to take it as their own, but she brushed them off with gentle ease. Hush now, it will be alright. Go home, your life is over. There is more after. You will go on.

And in the naked light I saw
Ten thousand people, maybe more
People talking without speaking
People hearing without listening
People writing songs that voices never share
And no one dared
Disturb the sound of silence

As she approached the boy's aura, one of her victims, Jeremiah, attacked her viciously; digging sharp claws into her chest and attempting to consume her life. He did not know how jealous she was of him; how familiar she was with this place. She was tempted to push him into the nothingness herself just to punish him his arrogance. Instead, she threw a small bit of golden magick at him and he broke away, unable to keep his grip and stunned, swept up in the current.

"Fools, " said I, "You do not know
Silence, like a cancer, grows
Hear my words that I might teach you
Take my arms that I might reach you"
But my words, like silent raindrops fell
And echoed in the wells, of silence

She sheltered the boy's aura close as she swam to the surface and heaved a massive sigh when she reached the shore of the living world. Not yet.

The song faded, replaced by another as she shared in the boy's life for a moment, allowed the mortal preteen to leave his mark on her. Then, with a prayer for peace and joy, she released him into the current, and his aura shined brightly with echoes of joyful laughter as it was carried to the other-side. She waved at him.

And the people bowed and prayed
To the neon god they made
And the sign flashed out its warning
In the words that it was forming
And the sign said, "The words of the prophets are written on the subway walls
And tenement halls"
And whispered in the sounds of silence

When she reluctantly reeled her aura back into this world, back into the confines of her body, every single Cullen was looking at her with a conflicted joy, a shock so powerful it bordered on fear.

Their corner of the world was unassumingly quiet as she took the time to burn the boy's body, careful to camouflage the smoke; she left Jeremiah and Isaiah where they had fallen, but laid them out with their eyes closed, arms crossed.

If you had asked Bella what the atmosphere following the events of the night would have been like, before they happened, she would have guessed the Cullens would be subdued and thoughtful, maybe even angry or condemning.

It was quiet at first, and Edward's small smile, when he took her hand, wasn't her favorite one. Then, as they got back in the Hummer, Rosalie broke the silence.

"So, do we have auras?"

Bella couldn't help but squeak a small laugh at the ridiculous question: of all things to ask. "Of course you have auras, Rose. You aren't an object. Every sentient life has an aura, even plants and animals."

"So, like, auras are souls, right?" Emmett was curious, but his brow was furrowed in confusion.

"Well, sort of. We actually don't know everything about auras, and I can't imagine any Fae would claim to know a damn thing about the soul. The element of Spirit is a mysterious one, only the Akira study it beyond practical use. And you've seen how odd it makes them; the temple Fae are inhuman. Auras are a manifestation of the spiritual element that every being shares. They're an expression of your character: like computer code for your personality."

She explained some of what the Fae knew about auras in more detail, and Carlisle jumped in with some questions about healing and the passage between life and death. When her family finally worked their way up to the question she had been waiting for, she grinned at her father. It was easy to forget how much she and Carlisle had in common.

"What about the other-side, the afterlife? What do Fae know about it?"

"The Fae have gained and lost more knowledge in our history than anyone could ever know, than any mortal could ever imagine. I've read almost every book in the Library, and more at the School; I've studied with the Akira, briefly. I've never seen anything about it that is not theory. If you ever see it mentioned, be sure to let me know. I've wasted a fair amount of time looking into it, more than an afternoon. As far as I know, no one has a clue."

After Fio's possession, after Addy had died: she had spent most all her days and a great many sleepless nights in Miami "looking into it". But Marcos, Kay, and Alex had only faint suspicion about how she had spent her days when they weren't around, and Bella was sneaky in more ways than one.

Her family did not necessarily need to know the depth of her spiraling obsession; and no one needed to know what had happened to result in her studies with the Akira. Aside from being directly asked, she did not need to share that particular devastation. She wasn't sure there were words for it anyway.

No one spoke about the execution directly, but as the air grew less tense around her Bella smiled anyway. They could get past this; it was not devoid of joy.

Edward had explained how he felt about his nature, and she could see in the other's faces that they each had their doubts about whether they would see the other-side. But Bella was Fae, and Spirit had gifted her many things. She had never had any doubt about the state of her family's souls. They didn't see it, but she was certain, and she could be very persuasive. They would come around. It would no doubt be difficult, but they could do it. She had faith.

Ain't No Rest for the Wicked

When they reached the compound and separated into their base couples for some rest, Bella kissed Edward gently and went to the main house to confer with Carlos and Amalure. She tried not to be cold, but she couldn't cushion the truth about Mayra's depravity and what it meant for the Spellman line.

She wondered briefly if Mayra would have made the same choices if she had known where it would lead. Bella liked to think Mayra would have chosen a different path if she had been able to see the broken devastation that twisted Carlos' face before blank determination took over; or hear the wails of her twin sister echo through the house when her father swore to fulfill his duty.

Man, she loved her people, but sometimes her job sucked. She had one more conference to attend. Oh, they were going to be furious. She was very glad she was out of striking range.

Kay was too far away from the cast to read clearly, but the echo of Marcos snarled the second he saw her, his hands clenching into fists at his side. Both were in casual wear, disturbed from their sleep.

"Goddammit, Isa. Are you even capable of taking a break from trouble? I can see why the vampires stalk you."

"What gave it away?"

"Well, it's past the middle of the night and your sword arm is covered in blood. You have that look on your face, too, that one that drives me nuts. Haven't seen it in a while. Your aura is unsettled, too. Why is it so disconnected from you?"

Oh yeah. The Cullens couldn't see the effects of her swim in Styx, couldn't see auras without focus; they were still too unused to magick and how it worked. But Marcos had always been skilled at aura-reading.

Kaedra's echo narrowed her eyes as she drew closer. "Your aura is odd, like it's not sure it wants to stay with you. Please God, tell me you didn't have a tantrum."

Bella told them the whole story and entered her observations of purging into the official record. At the end of her tale, her friends looked at her with new eyes.

"Isa- you. You swam through the river Styx." Kaedra was stuttering, sounded faint. Marcos looked uncomprehending: for once he was speechless.

"What? I've done it before. It's weird, but I haven't noticed any long-term ill effects. I had to get the boy's aura. His name was Peter, he was only thirteen. I couldn't let him fall into nothing. Don't be mad."

It was Marcos' turn to narrow his eyes. "Kay, I don't think she realizes what she's done."

"Isabella, when I get to the other-side, I'm gonna have a great many questions for whoever doles out magickal power: most of them will be about you. Do you even realize how impossible what you are describing is? Only a handful of Akira have ever even seen the cavern of life and death."

Marcos suddenly went pale and clutched at her Regent. Something unidentifiable and frightened crossed his face.

"Dear god... Isabella Swan, don't you dare lie to me. Do you have an affinity in Spirit?"

Marcos' intuition never ceased to amaze. Josephat and a handful of Akira had been the only ones to know about that particular twist of Destiny. Jo didn't even know specifics, and his reaction still haunted her dreams, sometimes. "Um."

Kaedra smirked before her mouth twisted into an insane grin. "Priceless. You do. That makes all five elements. No wonder you're the first to hold four out of five blessings. Gods above, Isa, are you even human at this point? When did you express?"

Kaedra's realizations were only slightly off, and Bella fidgeted uncomfortably. "Hey! I'm human! It's not my fault I'm weird. I didn't ask for it. I expressed when Addy died, when I tore open the portal to get us the hell out of there. It was instinctual, unavoidable. Don't worry, I've had the basic training I need."

Marcos snorted with rueful realization. "Miami. Fuck that city: I may as well have been blind. You're too fucking sneaky for your own good. Just a little break, you said. Just a little break, I need to get away. See you in a week or two. I knew something was up, you'd been quiet for days and no one is that scared about taking a vacation. No one looks that drained when they get back. God, I had to lose my temper and make you leave. You went to the Akira, didn't you?"

"Stop drawing connections, you two. You won't like where they lead: let's just say our last fight was the icing on a very large cake. Is this gonna be a problem?"

Her commander drew himself to his full height, and Kaedra shot her a withering look. Their reply was in chorus, a firm certainty. "No."

A pause, and then Kay sighed. "Let's try to keep it under wraps though. The last thing I want to put up with are more rumors that you're a goddess, or a monster or something."

It was Bella's turn to go pale. She hated those rumors, had since she first entered Havana and discovered her destiny. Marcos observed her closely, tilted her chin up with his echo's translucent hand to examine her eyes, her face.

"Right. I know that face, it never leads to anything good. I'm sending you something to ease your mind and help you sleep. I'll have my man in Carlos' court drop it by. Take it; no buts, I don't care if the Cullens disapprove. You need to relax a second. How's Renee?"

Bella took the moment to be thankful for her friends. She could have stumbled upon a very different caliber of people in her flight from Pheonix. She chatted with them for a minute about Renee, and they caught her up on the trivialities of Camp, on Rockabye's latest mischief and the heart attack it had given Josephat.

When Bella returned to the courtyard that ran between the Cullen's casitas, a man in all black was waiting by the firepit. He smiled at her shyly and handed her a small box. Inside were two blue pills, a half-pint of rum, and a massive, already-rolled joint. Marcos knew she couldn't roll for shit. She grinned at his messenger and invited him to join her, swinging herself into a chair and putting her feet up. Her new friend was flustered by her easy air but sat anyway, snarking:

"I'll be damned if I miss an opportunity to toke with royalty. Man, Sarai is gonna faint when I tell her. I'm Ali. Nice to meet you, your majesty."

She cajoled him into telling her how he met Marcos, which turned out to be a valuable bit of hilarious blackmail. The sweet smell of potent smoke called Edward out to sit with her, and he didn't glare at her about the pot; instead just rearranging her in his lap quietly and kissing the tip of her nose. Ali was a great storyteller, and Bella laughed and laughed.

Sometimes, it's the small things that helped her hold on.

Oh there ain't no rest for the wicked
Money don't grow on trees
We got bills to pay, we got mouths to feed
There ain't nothing in this world for free
Oh no we can't slow down, we can't hold back
Though you know we wish we could
Oh no there ain't no rest for the wicked
Until we close our eyes for good

Teeth (Mature/HARDCORE)

When the moon disappeared from the sky, just before dawn scattered light across the horizon; Edward finally drew his eyes away from where they had been fixed on his lover's face as she slept.

He had already informed his family that he and Bella would be unavailable until at least ten a.m. tomorrow, and trusted Carlisle's political skill to arrange that the Spellmans would not disturb them.

Kaedra had been disturbingly worn in the echo that had filled Carlisle and Esme's casita after Bella had fallen asleep, disheveled in a way the regal woman never was.

She had requested their observations about the crime Bella had interrupted and helpfully informed them about the context of what Bella had done when she went after the boy's aura: what it meant about the exceptional power that marked her. She had been shocked when the Cullens admitted they had already known about Bella's affinity in the element of Spirit and assumed it was just like her other ones. Kaedra was thoughtful as she took them in for a moment; before she shook herself and shared her annoyance about the rumors surrounding Bella—the ones that accused her of being inhuman. She warned them to keep Bella's hidden skill to themselves, and to be careful about repeating anything Bella told them, whether she told them in confidence or not.

"Isa is blind to how abnormally powerful she is, or the sheer scale of her unusual experiences. Luckily, she plays her cards close to the chest; even Marcos and I wouldn't claim to know every path she has journeyed. However, to her, this is just her life. She has no one to compare herself to, no concept of how insane her daily life is. Things that are normal for her are unthinkable for anyone else. She trusts you, and you deserve it. But be cautious not to be blinded by her casual attitude, she tends to make molehills out of mountains. Sometimes, even I must work very hard not to freak out about the potency of the magicks she wields so naturally, and I have spent eons pursuing power."

When he had returned to their little house, Bella had been moving restlessly, still mostly sleeping and searching for him in the bed. Now, watching Bella sleep soundly in his arms, Edward was struck by how untouchable Bella was. Because of the circumstances of their meeting in Forks, it had been difficult to see his lover as a powerful being, sometimes it was still hard. Bella was far from the fragile mortal Edward had thought her to be in that sleepy town, and it was the only real lie that Bella had allowed him to believe about who she was. Edward was appalled at his previous arrogance, his assumption that he was stronger than she could ever be.

She fought to stay with him. She said she needed him, that losing him would destroy her, break her in a way nothing had been able to. But there had been something intangible and foreboding in her since they had returned to the compound, something he couldn't identify that frightened him. Edward was suddenly hit with the realization that if Bella ever wanted to leave him, he would be unable to stop her or follow her. Was this how she felt, when he questioned his place by her side? He would never even mention goodbye again.

Some days, you're the only thing I know
Only thing that's burning when the nights grow cold
Can't look away, can't look away
Beg you to stay, beg you to stay, yeah

He shook as he traced her lips tenderly, as he committed the sound of her heartbeat to memory one more time. The gold in his head flared sweetly with an unconscious instinct to comfort, and when Bella mumbled his name, he almost drowned in the love he had for her.

Sometimes, you're a stranger in my bed
Don't know if you love me or you want me dead
Push me away, push me away
Then beg me to stay, beg me to stay, yeah

He needed her closer, needed to feel her shudder apart beneath him- but Bella needed sleep. The tension between his needs and Bella's grew unbearable, and Edward knew he was a wretched creature when he reached for her with new intent. If someone had asked him about his views on what he was about to do before tonight, he would have told them in no uncertain terms that it was a one-way ticket to hell. Bella would be the death of him, not that he was complaining.

Call me in the morning to apologize
Every little lie gives me butterflies
Something in the way you're looking through my eyes
Don't know if I'm gonna make it out alive

Bella's even breaths faltered when he cupped her breasts through the thin layer of gauze she had worn to bed; claiming it was too hot for her normal pj's and torturing him with the baby-blue silk bottoms that were so short as to be sinful. He pinched her nipples lightly, but she did not wake. Not yet.

He followed the path of his hands with jealous eyes as he gently tore the gauze that hid her body from his view, taking in every freckle and scar. He unraveled it from her arms, careful not to wake her and feeling like a child peeking at his Christmas presents. He teased her gently for a long time: until her nipples peaked, until her scent was stronger, until there was a dampness marking the outline of her core on blue silk, though she still slept.

With his hands settled at the narrow spot of her waist, he looked at her revealed beauty until his eyes watered with venom-tears, relishing the slow spread of light across her skin. Bella unconsciously moaned with heat and shivered at his coldness. Her hips rose into the air, seeking friction; and Edward was a vampire, but he was still a man.

He didn't know what she was dreaming about.

The thought burned through him, setting him ablaze with a possessive fury. He woke her by pinching her nipples so hard he cut off blood flow. When she cried out and arched wildly, instinctively pushing him away, he pinned her back against the bed, meeting her wide eyes as he tore sinful silk away from her body. Oh god, she wasn't wearing any panties. He knew his unexplainable desperation was showing on his face and finally spared half a thought for the painful realization that he might have frightened her.

Fight so dirty, but your love so sweet
Talk so pretty, but your heart got teeth
Late night devil, put your hands on me
And never, never, never ever let go
Fight so dirty, but your love so sweet
Talk so pretty, but your heart got teeth
Late night devil, put your hands on me
And never, never, never ever let go

Before he could gentle his touch and think to apologize, his mind flooded with gold that pulsed with the hunger and need he had planted in her dreams. "Fuck. Edward. What? Wait, nope, don't care. We can talk later. Yes, Edward. Yes."

She reached for him, but Edward was already too far gone to allow that; not when he wanted to commit to memory what she looked like when she came for him. He wanted to touch her, and not just her body. She had promised him forever, but suddenly that wasn't enough.

He couldn't stop the threatening growl that reverberated from his chest when he pinned her hands above her head. "Don't. Move."

She whimpered softly, licking her lips, but he could smell the spike in her arousal. When it reached him, he lunged for her. His mouth on hers was sloppy and rough; it was a demand that she yield herself to him.

He laid thorough ownership to her mouth, and considered whether he was having an out-of-body experience as he bit down on her tongue without consciously deciding to do so. Her blood. Jesus, maybe she was a goddess.

He could almost watch himself as he sucked obscenely on her tongue, finding delicious friction in rolling his still-clothed hips against her, pushing the rough denim against her core; her hands tightened on the headboard.

Prey. Lover. Bella. But no: only one thing mattered, there was only room for one need here. The word came out violent and angry. "Mine."

Some days, you're the best thing in my life
Sometimes when I look at you, I see my wife
Then you turn into somebody I don't know
And you push me away, push me away, yeah

"Yours. Edward, please. I'm there, I need you." Bella begged unashamedly.

He would never be capable of resisting a request like that. He shoved her legs apart with one hand as he pulled his hardness from the zipper of his jeans with the other, not even bothering to shove them down before he buried himself in her. For once he was not stopping in awe, though he felt it distantly, behind his frantic need.

Instead, he was already moving at vampiric speed, and one of his hands came down to circle her clit heavily; the other was bracing her, digging nails into her ass and leaving bruises on her hip. His teeth left indents where he pulled at her darkened peaks; when he switched, he couldn't stop himself from breaking skin, laving at her nipple apologetically after.

Bella screamed as he fucked her roughly, her back bowing as her spine arched to push her body closer to him. She did not release the headboard, but her legs wrapped his thrusting hips loosely, her heels digging into his backside.

She didn't have enough breath to beg him, but the gold in his head spoke for her. He was losing his mind, going insane. Something was consuming him, some suspicion he couldn't identify, and it made him angry. His hand went from her clit to her throat: his intent was to pull her in for a kiss by the back of her neck. But Bella tore her eyes from his, threw her head back in ecstasy. Oh, hell no.

He punished her for the lack of eye contact by squeezing her throat and found himself unable to let go even when her eyes met his.

Yes. It was good. It helped, her breath at his control, and he squeezed harder. She was turning faintly blue, but her eyes were flooding golden now. Her hand wrapped his wrist but did not pull him away, and something settled over her: a surrender, a gift he received but did not understand. Alarm bells rang in his head. She was trying to cry out with every thrust, but she didn't have the oxygen, so all that escaped her were high-pitched and cut-off whimpers.

Call me in the morning to apologize
Every little lie gives me butterflies
Something in the way you're looking through my eyes
Don't know if I'm gonna make it out alive

Her eyelashes fluttered; gold began to strobe in his head. Yes. Yes. His, she was his, he could mark her like this, could drive her to the edge and beyond. She was coming with his hands around her throat, with his hardness in her, and it was wonderful, but somehow not enough.

He released her throat and flipped her on to her knees, not allowing her to recover at all as he smacked her ass hard, leaving an impression of his hand that would surely bruise. He reseated himself in the new position while she was still shaking through her orgasm, pounding into her with jackhammer speed. She couldn't support herself. Her arms collapsed and she clenched her small hands into the covers, buried her face in soft cotton to muffle the wanton cries that he pushed from her throat every time he bottomed out.

No. Those cries were his too, and he reached out, jerked her head up by her hair, rewarding her increased volume by licking a path across the lash marks on her back.

She was almost in midair, pinned between his hold on her hair and his hard thrusts and starting to shake violently. He drove her hard, back to the edge before she even fully recovered from her last orgasm.

"EdwardEdwardEdward, please, pleaseplease. I can't!"

Despite her words, Bella froze, then she shuddered through another orgasm that was painful in its mental intensity. As she squeezed him, Edward had to let her body drop, had to remove himself from her before he came. He wasn't ready yet, wasn't finished. He gripped the base of himself tightly, trying to hold back his orgasm. Bella was panting, face down on the bed with aftershocks wracking her limp frame, but Edward was not through with her, would never be.

Fight so dirty, but your love so sweet
Talk so pretty, but your heart got teeth
Late night devil, put your hands on me
And never, never, never ever let go
Fight so dirty, but your love so sweet
Talk so pretty, but your heart got teeth
Late night devil, put your hands on me
And never, never, never ever let go

He knelt on the floor and grabbed her ankles, turning her onto her back and forcing her to the edge of the bed so he could lap at her clit, already thrusting his long fingers into her. She tried to arch at the renewed contact, but she couldn't quite manage it, still panting with exhaustion.

"Edward. Unh. Edward, what are you doing?"

A sick thought manifested. Just how much could Bella take of him? How many times could he make her come? He was so far past the edge of sanity already, what would it be to push just a little farther?

He pushed at her, quickly finding his way up to three fingers and mitigating the pain of the stretch with rough tongue. Bella was moaning constantly now, and her seeking hips faded into soft twitches as she ran out of energy.

"Please, Edward. Oh. Oh, I can't, it's so good, I'm falling apart; Edward, love, I'm only human. I don't think..."

He pushed deeply with his fingers, burying his hand inside her passage until her entrance was at the widest part of his hand, until his thumb could tap her clit between the laps of his tongue.

Bella's pale scream cut off her weak protest, and her hands buried themselves in his hair. She couldn't seem to decide if she wanted to pull him away or hold him closer, so Edward kept going. He folded his thumb against the palm of his hand and pulled his mouth away from her clit for just a moment. He wanted to watch her face.

"Well, little witch, I do think. I think you can. I think you want to. I think you will. Say your spell, lover."

He waited until she was halfway through, the words an exhausted, desperate whisper; before he rocked his hand gently, just once, and began his steady push into her. God, she was so tight. He spread her wide with his left hand, his right pushing into her passage; and when he spit venom at her core, he wasn't sure if it was for practicality's sake or just because he wanted his venom inside her.

Blood on my shirt, rose in my hand
You're looking at me like you don't know who I am
Blood on my shirt, heart in my hand
Still beating

Then, his entire hand was inside of her. He flexed his fingers before he formed them into a fist, testing the possibilities and relishing the feel of her walls around him. Bella shuddered at the feeling, growing even wetter, even hotter. He had to close his eyes at the look on her face or he would come undone, really hurt her. When he opened them, he was unprepared for the sheer eroticism of the sight that greeted him.

His hand was buried inside of Bella to his wrist, and the rising sun shined just strongly enough to make his skin glitter weakly. Bella, herself, was limp on the bed with her half-lidded eyes a consumed gold, fixed on him. She was biting her lip, the enchantment complete, and rainbows were cast on her from the reflection of light off his skin. When he flexed his fingers again, she whimpered, eyes closing, and mouthed his name. Surrender.

His.

Fight so dirty, but your love so sweet
Talk so pretty, but your heart got teeth
Late night devil, put your hands on me
And never, never, never ever let go
Fight so dirty, but your love so sweet
Talk so pretty, but your heart got teeth
Late night devil, put your hands on me
And never, never, never ever let go

He refocused on his goal like hitting the ground after a long fall. When he bit at her core hard enough to break the skin, hard enough to mark her in her most intimate place, he pushed. Her blood was heaven on his tongue as he filled her over and over again, stretching her passage as wide as it could go with the rapid speed of the push from his elbow, his thumb directly over her g-spot. He grinned as he realized that, blood trickling down his chin, before he pulled away to see her face. On his next thrust he pushed at the spot directly, with the edge of nails.

Her muscles tensed helplessly, impossibly gripping him, and Bella had no choice but to come, screaming his name.

Teeth

When her shudders finally subsided, Edward removed his hand slowly, dragging out the sensation. Bella hmm'ed at him, too spent to manage more. Then, he rose to his feet to tower over her and, with the same hand that had been buried inside her, he pumped himself just once.

Teeth

The orgasm was almost secondary to the sight of his essence painting her nude body and dripping over her abused and open core.

Teeth

He collapsed next to her in the light of the risen sun, clutching her trembling form close and petting her hair. She mumbled at him, words garbled, and fell back into unconsciousness quickly enough that he was slightly concerned. He dismissed it, focusing on his victory and half-tempted to try for four. His. Despite the fact that he had just sinned wickedly and wasn't even sorry for it, he said a prayer; and if Bella was a goddess, he hoped she heard him.

Never, never, never ever let go

An hour passed before Bella woke up, and they relished in each other's company for a long while. Heat began to curl lazily in the air once more, but, of course, that was when the alarm went off. Bella sighed her regret, but reluctantly swung her legs over the bed. She didn't even make it all the way to her feet before her legs folded under her.

When Edward stuck his head over the edge of the bed, Bella's face was shocked and absolutely mortified. "I can't walk. Oh my sweet Lord, my legswon't support me. Edward! What are we going to tell our family?" Edward tried to hold back his laughter at the comedic sight of an indignant and rumpled Bella trying to pull herself up by the fitted sheet so she could get dressed for the day.

"It's not funny. What am I supposed to say? Oh, sorry Carlisle, I know this is a sensitive subject for you, but I can't go hang out: your son pounded me mercilessly into the mattress last night like a crazy man and now I'm too weak to stand. Laugh it up while you can, Edward. I'm not the one who will be making our excuses to your father."

That wiped the smile off his face instantly. "Bella, it can't be that bad. Come on, I'll help." He extended a hand towards her and together they managed to lever her into a standing position. She made it about two seconds after he let go, before she tried to take a step and he had to catch her.

"Oh. My. God. I swear, Edward, if I wasn't so in love with you, I'd light you on fire."

There was a knock, and absolute panic crossed Bella's face as she snatched his shirt from the floor and threw it over her head. He set her down in the chair in the kitchen and tried really hard not to be self-conscious about the scent of blood and sex that lingered in the air. He still flashed to throw the covers up on the bed and check his face for blood before he answered.

Alice was on the other side. "Hey, what took so long? I brought breakfast. Are you guys ready to.."

She looked past him, her sentence trailing off as she took in her sister's appearance. Bella was clothed only in his blood-stained dress shirt, still pale and weak. Bella averted her eyes from Alice's attention, blushing stop-sign red. When Alice looked back at him, her eyes were wide.

"Uh..."

Edward had no idea what to say. He thought about just slamming the door in her face and hiding under the bed with Bella for the rest of forever. He looked back at Bella pleadingly, but her eyes were tracing scratches on the kitchen counter with singular focus, and she had started to swing her feet like a child in time-out.

He cleared his throat. "Um, Bella and I will be unable to join you today. We'll see you when you get back, Alice."

"What? You guys aren't coming?" Emmett poked his head around the corner and flashed to Alice's side. "Why? Is Bella o-" When the scent coming through the doorway hit Emmett, he froze like he had slammed into a brick wall.

Then, his brother and sister shared a knowing look and burst out laughing so hard they had to lean on each other for support.

"Oh, oh, this is priceless. Are you guys seriously blowing us off so you can have sex? I take back every time I ever called you a prude, Edward. Come on lovebirds, you can get jiggy later. We're going hiking to the waterfalls. Rose will be furious if I don't convince you. Come on, it certainly seems like you've been at it a minute, take a break."

Edward looked over his shoulder to meet Bella's eyes, and she shook her head in a tiny movement, barely perceptible to even his sharp gaze. There was no way she could hike a mountain. Shit. See, this is why he needed to work on his possessive tendencies. He still had no idea why his jealousy had been so potent.

"Emmett, we really can't. It's not that. It's just...um. Well; um. Bella would find it a little difficult to climb a mountain, today."

He heard a thunk behind him. Bella's head had met the countertop, but he could see her blush at the roots of her hair.

"Edward, love. You did not have to tell them that." Her voice came out muffled, strangled and high-pitched.

Emmett, on the other hand, grew dangerously still and suddenly serious. He focused on Edward's green eyes. "Is she hurt?"

"Emmett! No!" Edward was surprised by his own voice, at how squeaky it came out. He had been going for threatening.

Alice was still guffawing, bent nearly in half, but she grabbed Emmett's sleeve and began to pull him away. "We'll leave you two to it. Be nice, Edward, she's not as sturdy as she plays at being."

She called over her shoulder as she dragged Emmett away. "Put ice on it, Bella, or it will be worse tomorrow!"

Edward couldn't close the door fast enough.

Courage/Hand of Sorrow

His brother and sister had rather spoiled the mood, and hours later found Bella still meditating quietly on the bed as Edward read her book on Fae folklore, absently stroking her hair. Bella focused on the feeling to help her fall into herself. She needed to process the events of yesterday, a little bit. Yes; Jeremiah and Isaiah's actions had called for death, but their blood still stained her hands.

It wasn't long before she encountered the same block she always did when she processed her actions as a judge, and she couldn't help but be torn up by it a bit. How could a killer judge a killer? Her magicks buzzed at the not-fair feeling that came with her guilt.

She moved on. She'd come back to it later.

During her meditation, the image of the river Styx kept popping up, demanding her attention. She knew no good came from dwelling on it, refused to go back there. Some things could not be overcome, couldn't be processed away. Some things you just lived with.

But still, the image remained, a fault in her center, a growing knot in her reiki, there since the beginning. Goddammit.

She cast the image away once more, but it came back immediately; it was stronger than before. This time, her magicks sang to her, accompanying the set of tightly controlled thoughts that she associated with the sight.

I need you to know
I'm not through the night
Some days I'm still fighting to walk towards the light
I need you to know
That we'll be okay
Together we can make it through another day

No. No way. Her magicks could stuff it. She had enough power as it was, anyway. It wouldn't hurt to let this one thing kill her slowly, secretly. No one would know. She broke her meditation angrily, and a huff of air exited her lips.

"Welcome back. Problems?"

"You could say that. Nothing major." Bella knew she was lying.

Nope, not going there. There were things she could not ask of her lover; risks she could not take and healing she could not have.

She would live with the knot. One knot didn't necessarily mean she would fall. No one needed to know. Not-fair. She didn't need to tell him; he would forgive her this one unknown. But it was too prevalent, the Master might see. The chains of memory were unbreakable here, an unacceptable weakness. If he discovered this image, she would fall. The Master would use her magicks, to kill Edward. To kill his family, Marcos, Rockabye, Jo. Who knew how many people would die?

He would wear her face.

She couldn't bear it. More tough choices, more weakness. Was there anything she would not do, to keep that from happening?

After a few moments, Bella found herself fiddling with the rose-crystal around Edward's neck. She considered it for a long while.

Oh, for heaven's sake. Apparently, there really wasn't anything she wouldn't do to save Edward, to stay with him. She heaved a sigh. She should've known.

Okay, she could do this if she started slow, maybe.

"Edward, do you think there's anything I could do to make you not love me?"

Edward set down the book in his hands and met her eyes with his eyebrows raised. There wasn't much Edward was willing to fight with her over, but her belief in his unshakeable love was one of the things he would gladly die for.

"No."

She nodded, but she looked like she didn't quite believe it.

"There's something I need to tell you. You need to know the risk, here, and... I just need you to know." She paused before she set the crystal down against his chest, suddenly resigned. "You're not gonna like it."

She took a deep breath, steeling herself, placing her hands on her stomach and turning her head to meet his eyes. The position was familiar, and Edward had a flash of a meadow, so long ago now.

"You see, Edward, I was born a queen. I was born with this power. Sometimes, I hate it; sometimes I'm grateful for it; but what is, is. In Havana, power rules. We pretend it isn't true since unification, but it still is. And being born a queen means I will always come second. Everything I want, everything I need; all of my dreams are secondary to those of my people. Even the ones I hold most dear. It isn't fair, but I'd do it for them. I already have."

"Except you. I can't, I've tried. It's too much, I can't do it again. He can't have you." she swallowed roughly. Shame and despair crossed her face for a moment, and her eyes were far away.

"I've tried."

Edward ached to know her pain was for the one thing she couldn't sacrifice: his presence in her life. He knew that she had tried to give him up, when he left her, and that it had killed her even as his leaving killed him.

The back of his mind was screaming at him. Every day he spent with her, every day that she loved him, the Master and the hopeless choice he brought with him grew closer.

She spoke again. "I will accept your judgement, pay the cost. Do what you must. But I can't leave you: please, don't ask me to. Have mercy."

Edward interrupted her, the kiss turning desperate. When she pulled away, it tasted like goodbye.

"Forever, Bella." The words came out begging. Never would Edward have thought to want to turn her so urgently, to hold so dear the impossible promise that he would never have to face her death.

She took another deep breath, blanked her face and averted her gaze. When she spoke, she sounded lost.

"Forever."

She was going somewhere again, somewhere he couldn't go. Fear gripped him in icy claws, and he reached for her, tightened his grip on her hand until he heard her bones creak. "Bella."

"I want it, Edward. I want forever; because of you. Knowing you; it changed everything. Winning is no longer optional. But I didn't know you in the Master's dungeons. I didn't know...I did something, right at the end. Something that left a scar; one that no one can see because it's inside of me: it makes the chains to pull me into the other-side, chains I forged for myself."

"You see, Edward, without you...without you I would not want forever. Without you, the choice would already have come and gone. There is no universe where I risk the fall and its consequences, where I have not already died to keep my power from him. Except this one: the one you are in."

"I can sympathize with the Master, Edward. That doesn't mean I agree with him or condone what he has done, but he's not insane. He has made evil choices to further his greed, but there is some truth to his cause. He would not destroy the Fae completely, only everything righteous about us. And I believe that he would be defeated, eventually. Death comes for everyone."

"He truly believes the world will be a better place when he rules it; and has sacrificed all things for that purpose. I can almost admire him, in a twisted way. When he's in my head, I can almost agree with him. It's such a small thing, one soul. Even if it is my own."

Edward strongly disagreed, but wisely kept himself from interrupting.

"I wonder, sometimes, if we are more similar to one another than I know. I hate the world he would create; I could never leave my people to suffer it. I would die to keep from being a part of creating it, and probably will. But he is not the only one to do things he never thought he would do in order to win this war, and I wonder if the world I would create after he is gone will be any better."

"Even before he took Addy, he took Fiore from me. I am still here, and they are not. I can't forgive him that. I'd kill myself just to revenge that, to deny him his reward. Damn the world: it can solve its own problems for once." Something violent, dark and defiant overtook Bella's face for just a moment, unable to be contained; before blank-faced deadness returned.

"There are things that Destiny should not have asked of me. Every Fae has light and dark magicks."

"It was...he wore his face, Edward. Through it all, the Master wore my lover's face, but he was not my lover. My lover was gone, and I did not know where he was. I looked."

"Fiore was my protector, my shield. He loved us. He let go to protect us; he fell into the darkness, gave himself up to be purged and possessed, so that we wouldn't have to. The Master had him trapped, but we won that battle. He is on the other-side."

"The cost to save his soul from the nothingness was high. Maybe too high. Maybe high enough to take the choice from me, to make me fall."

Bella went quiet for a long moment, and Edward knew his next words might be the most important he ever spoke. There was something here, some story untold. It was hurting her: Edward knew it in every corner of his wretched soul. The words came out a weak and whispered plea.

"Show me. Let me see, lover. Let me in."

"I don't know if I can. I don't...well. I don't think about what I did. No one can ever know this, Edward. What I did is a crime. I did it for them, for my people: to save them. But if they knew of it, it would break them. They would condemn me for it; they would have no choice. Do you understand? I require your oath. Swear on my soul."

Her soul? Edward would gladly have sworn on his own, broken it if it became necessary for her well-being. But she knew him well, better than he had thought. He would never endanger her soul. But Bella had a way of pushing him to do things he never thought he'd do.

He considered what she was asking of him for a moment. She was asking him to be her judge, to punish or pardon her for a crime not yet spoken. She was extending him the privilege of knowing her, loving and possessing her in another way. She was warning him of a risk, a weakness she could not overcome. She was sharing her choice with him, asking for his counsel. Sharing her last secret.

He had a flash of his hands around her neck and the surrender that had settled over her. How in that moment, somewhere in the back of his mind, alarm bells had rung.

Damn.

Marcos had been right, Bella was sneaky. Edward had a sudden flash of empathy for him.

But she wanted to tell him, wanted him to know her. And he wanted to. He had a feeling he might need to. Whatever it was, it affected the outcome of the war. He cursed in his head; he could never deny her.

"I." Edward swallowed and forced her to meet his eyes, flooded her mind with scarlet. If this secret was a battle he must fight, he would fight it for her. Her gold withdrew from his mental touch like waves on the shore, a defense about to be torn down and given away; but she squeezed his hand tightly and her eyes were certain. "I swear."

"Okay. Okay." Bella's eyes watered, but no tears fell. She reached for him, tucked herself against him awkwardly, her head across from him but her feet in his lap; her arms around his neck, but her knees pressed against one another between their chests. "Hold on, Edward. It's already happened, okay? I'm right here. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

Bella bowed her head into her knees and closed her eyes, and Edward had a second of absolute panic before the world fell away, and he was in hell.

Bella was in agony, but it didn't take up as much of her thought-process as it should have. She was half-insane, feverish, bone-tired, thirsty. Hunger didn't even register anymore. Her leg was broken from where Demetri and Tomas had pulled her through the crack in the wall roughly. Tomas had stomped on it when he realized that, shattered the bone. She was pretty sure Demetri had pulled her shoulder out of joint.

But the girl would live. Rockabye, Addy's girl, would live. Addy would find her, would lose Bella but gain a child.

It had been worth it.

They dragged her into the main room, and when they removed the blindfold Bella immediately changed her mind.

Adeline.

No.

Master promised. He promised her if she killed the woman, if she cut the baby out, then Adeline would go free. Master always told the truth. Sometimes she wished he would lie, so she wouldn't know what was coming. But he wouldn't lie. Today was the day. They were going to set Addy free today. It was an opportunity.

They had taken Adeline away this morning, and Bella had waited to give her a head start. Addy had been stubborn about that part of the plan, but Addy was worth more than the toddler could ever be. It was horrifying, but true, and Bella was no stranger to hard choices.

She had to stay here, had to come back. She had been stubborn about that part. If she didn't, Master would surely hunt Adeline from where she hid. He would gather an army and kill her people. There would be nowhere to hide, he would find her too. But if she came back, Addy and Rockabye had a chance. That was the plan. She had been on her way back when they had caught her. But why was Addy here?

When Tomas and Demetri dropped her at the foot of the pyre, she already knew she would be unable to stand. It was rare she could, these days, though she adored the way her defiance made the Master's eyes narrow. And with her leg...

She tried anyway, just because she could. She wasn't that surprised when she crumpled. It made her back twinge, a sharp stab of agony. Don't think about it.

When they strapped her to the pyre, they used the strongest spells. There was no need for that, really. She couldn't even breathe properly with her hands behind her back like that, not with her legs unable to support her.

Her breaths grew deeper but stayed fairly even. She was too used to lack of airflow. She hardly even noticed it, actually, her focus on the bound figure of the girl she loved.

"M-Master. You promised."

"Yes, dear, I promised. But you broke our agreement when you tried to be sneaky. Did you think we didn't know about your little excursions? The girl-child is gone, out of reach. She has gone free, though you knew she was to die. So..."

The bastard spread his hands in a "what can you do?" motion, an indulgent smile on his borrowed face. "I told you, dear one. No more games. You will obey me."

"No. P-please. Master, I'll do it, I don't care what. You can have my powers, just don't."

"Too late, darling. No, no, your spirit is too potent, too defiant. I grow impatient. I will take what is rightfully mine. The Purge has given me the magicks. You will be Bound."

Terror. Disgust. Edward went through his whole vocabulary in every language he knew, but there weren't words for the emotion in Bella at the thought.

She took stock of her body, of her magick, of the distance between Addy and her, and the strength of her binds. The probability was non-existent, and finally Bella couldn't stop a sob.

The words were gasping, but true. The fight had been so long, and Bella was tired. Surrender. "Okay, I promise. You can Bind me, I won't fight. I promise. I came back, didn't I? Just let her go, just don't kill her. Please, Master. You can be my master. Don't kill her."

The Master did not know he had won. He didn't know her surrender was real, this time.

He paused, tapped his chin. And then a wicked, gleeful grin twisted his mouth. "No. I think I will."

The dagger took flight, and time slowed impossibly.

The child without a name grew up to be the hand
To watch you, to shield you or kill on demand
The choice she'd made she could not comprehend
Her blood a grim secret they had to command

Bella reached. She cast her mind impossibly towards her lovers, trapped and helpless as they were. She hadn't been able to do it before, hadn't been able to reach them no matter how hard she tried, since they had been in this place.

She found Addy first. She always did, and she clutched at her, pulled her close and sheltered her from her fear and pain with the force of love, but didn't establish a two-way connection. She wasn't through yet.

She didn't think the Master noticed her slip through the love-grief shaped crack in his mental defenses.

He had to be here; it was the only place she hadn't looked. He couldn't be gone, annihilated by the nothing. He would fight it, and he was strong. She needed him; he wouldn't leave them defenseless.

An endless desert was in front of her, separating reality and not, but her mental presence only responded by clutching Addy closer and racing across it, digging up more power from somewhere deep within.

When Bella reached the very center of the desert, in a moonlit cavern between life and death, a weak and shattered Fiore knelt in the shallows of Styx.

She's torn between his honor and the true love of her life
She prayed for both but was denied

He was in the middle of the shallow waters on the shore of a lake made of something she could not understand, bottomed by a nothing that was silent and cold. When Bella and Addy came to him, Fiore reached for them in joy, but he was careful not to touch the shoreline.

"Girls! What? How? No, I don't care. It's been an eternity, this place is terrible. I knew you'd come, I'm so sorry. God, I'm so sorry. I had to; he would've taken you from me. I've been trapped here, since. What happened to you? Who did this?"

He clutched them close, kissed their foreheads.

There was no way to hide the answers to his questions, here, though they wanted to. Bella didn't have the strength to lie to him, and Adeline's thought stream was too panicked.

She will never forget his beautiful brown eyes that she had longed to see: how they looked, broken. He had fought so hard for the chance to see them again, for so long. He had endured so much, and the knowledge of what they had suffered in his absence wrecked him. As the knowledge of his pain wrecked Adeline and Bella.

He sheltered Bella from her physical pain immediately, threw love at her. Together the royal three could bear the pain their battles had caused. It had been for each other, for their people. It was worth it.

"No. No, no, no. My girls. My Isabelle. My Addy-lakky. No. Oh. What have I done?"

"He's going to kill her Fio. He's going to kill her, and I can't stop him. All this useless fucking power and I can't stop him. Help me. We have to do something."

"I. Isabella, what? Tell me, I'll do anything."

"There's nothing to do." Adeline's mental voice was soft, impossibly gentle. The tide was getting closer to where she stood. "It's okay. Isabelle, darling. You can't let him Bind you. The things he would do with your power. You can't."

Bella was the only one on dry ground now. "Then tell me something! Because so help me god, I will, Addy, if it means you will live. Fio's here, I'll be okay. We can hold off annihilation. The universe can't make me leave you, not even for our people. Don't go. You were supposed to go free. You can't go to the other-side. Please. Don't leave me there with him, alone."

"I'd stay if I could, for you. But the dagger is in the air Bella. He's pushing it, it's coming closer. I can feel it. I get to go on an adventure. I wish you could come with me. Both of you."

"No. No. I'm coming with you Addy, don't leave me behind. The nothingness is coming, I can't hold it off. Don't leave me here alone. Ma belle, please. I can't bear the thought of your destruction. You know what it's like here, you see in me what it can do. I can't do that to you. I'm sorry. She's right, you can't give in. God, I don't want to leave you."

Bella's mental presence lit up like a firecracker with epiphany; and Edward felt his soul start screaming from far away. "Then let me go with you. We'll all go. It's okay. If I'm dead, my magicks die with me, right? We'll all go. It's wrong, it's illegal, but no one will have to know. It will keep my magicks from him, and we'll get to be together. I can't make this choice. Please. I love you."

So many dreams were broken and so much was sacrificed
Was it worth the ones we loved and had to leave behind?
So many years have past, who are the noble and the wise?
Will all our sins be justified?

Edward wanted to scream at them. Stop her! No! I won't meet her; she'll never find me. Please, no! Help me, don't take her from me. I won't take her from you, I can share. I'm a vampire, I can't go so easy. Stop!

But it had already happened, they couldn't hear him.

There was a long moment of silence from the three lovers before Fiore spoke, the word halting as his voice broke. "H-how? He won't allow you to kill yourself."

Addy met Bella's eyes. "It will be difficult, love. It might not work. No one has ever done it before."

"Well, all these affinities have got to be good for something."

Fio suddenly stood tall. "Nope. No sneaky stuff, you two. Explanation before implementation. There are worse things than death."

Bella sighed and turned to him. "I could. Between the three of us, if we could pool our magicks. We could self-destruct, purge each other. We might make it through the nothing to the other-side."

Another quiet moment passed, each royal considering. Would they sacrifice their morals? Would they do this terrible thing, to stay together? Risk the nothingness of complete annihilation to save their people from what they could?

The curse of her powers tormented her life
Obeying the Master; a sinister price
Her soul was tortured by love and by pain
She surely would flee but the oath made her stay

"Okay."

"Okay."

"Okay. Well, right. Um. Protective circle, maybe?"

She's torn between her honor and the true love of her life
She prayed for both but was denied

The royal three were silent as they linked their minds together. A navy blue, a bright red, a shimmering gold, all blending at the edges, and Edward had never hated something so beautiful before.

No, no, no. His life with Bella was not a dream. She was sitting there, right beside him, on the bed. Her small hands were around his neck, unrepelled by his skin. If he opened his eyes, would he see her?

No. Please, God, no.

Something began to build. Something deadly, like carbon monoxide or the smell of gas. Relief accompanied it, rest. A way to break even. All three closed their eyes at the same moment.

So many dreams were broken and so much was sacrificed
Was it worth the ones we loved and had to leave behind?
So many years have past, who are the noble and the wise?
Will all our sins be justified?

And then, right before the explosion that would Purge the royal three from existence, the brand met Bella's skin; she was jerked away. The Master was there, in her mind. Spreading treacherous roots, looking for weakness.

Fiore and Adeline clutched at her, digging in nails, but they were being dragged too.

Bella shot Fio a look. "Don't you dare let go, you over-protective bastard."

"NOT happening. He can't have you. You have to come with us. I'm bringing you breakfast in bed for eternity, if we'll still eat."

"French. Toast." Adeline was gasping, flickering in and out of existence as Bella's time-cast failed. Death was coming for her.

"Focus, Addy." Bella was glowing now, pulsing with a blend of colors every time the Master tried to break into their circle. So like the first time.

"I. Can't. There's a song. It's getting louder."

"It's not working. Bella, what do we do?"

"Addy's magicks are fading too fast, mine are a little preoccupied trying to hold off the Master, yours have to cross the desert of non-existence. I can't hold it! NO. I've only got enough power for one!"

Adeline's eyes were unspeakably sad. "You can't, Bella. He's holding you back, fighting you. You can't let him kill our people; you want to win, to save them. You won't abandon them. I always knew you would be a great queen."

"No." It was too much; she couldn't give this. The universe would not ask her to give this for her people. It wasn't fair.

Adeline's grip on Bella went lax, who clutched at her harder.

"Give it to me, Bella. Don't leave me to be destroyed, please. You have to stay, to be free and defeat him. Protect them." Fiore's grip went lax too, and Bella clutched at him so hard she broke his hand.

"We'll wait for you, our Isabella. As long as it takes. We'll be okay, we'll wait."

There was a sensation, like the tide going out.

Fio smiled at her. "Give it to me, Bella. I'll go on; you'll be saving me. It's okay. It doesn't change how we love each other. Give it to me and let go."

Bella cried out. They were slipping from her grasp; he was asking her to kill him, and with dark magicks besides. Addy and Fio were all that was holding the powerful magic of the Binding back, pushing it away with their desire for her to live.

No.

But Addy was right. She couldn't leave the Master in Havana, and she didn't have enough power to follow them to the other-side. He could not be allowed to rule. She couldn't pull him with them, he was too powerful, she was too weak. Not good enough

At least she was herself, and she had no Master. He would die by her hand, for this. She would find the power, somehow. No one else would ever have to make this choice.

With tears in her eyes she pulled them in, hugged Addy close; kissed Fiore's lips. She kept her eyes open, willing him to understand why. It was the nothing, or this. He would die, she would kill him; but he would not be destroyed.

And then, with a massive surge of deadly magick towards the man she loved and the monster who had made her kill him, Isabella Swan let go.

Please forgive me for the sorrow, for leaving you in fear
For the dreams we had to silence, that's all they'll ever be
Still I'll be the hand that serves you
Though you'll not see that it is me

There was no softness in the world she had left behind. The Master's eyes were just starting to widen at the Binding's failure.

She felt the gentle push against the skin of her arm, something white-hot against the bones, beneath the flesh. Oh. Biometrics. She was queen, now. Her crime was apparently forgiven. The magicks had left her a gift, a consolation prize for what she had given up for love of her people.

She didn't want it.

She used it anyway, pushed at it with her will: her conviction that this was wrong. Not fair.

She couldn't see it, but she felt it rip through her flesh. She couldn't think through her grief. Her soul was ripping itself apart; the aftereffects of her attempt to self-purge, the bitter taste of failure on her tongue.

She had killed him. Both of them, really. And she was still here, still breathing. No.

She swept Addy away, demanded that the universe make a way for her to leave. After what she had done, it would grant her this, or the Master's destruction would look like a campfire to her atomic bomb.

No.

The sun shined brightly, and she hated it. She called clouds without thinking to cast darkness on the world. Where were they? It didn't matter, they were out of there. She took a half-second to be horrified at her own power. No one could reach past reality or open a portal instinctually like that. Apparently, she was to be gifted in all affinities. She had felt the universe give in, obey her command. Was she a monster? A god? Maybe the rumors had been true.

Addy's breath was fading fast, but her girl-love pushed with the last of her magicks, just enough to open her eyes. One navy, one red. "We have to go, lover. We don't want you to come, yet. You'll be okay, he loves you. He's waiting." Addy looked over Bella's shoulder, and Edward realized she could see him. He ripped his eyes from Bella to meet hers, no, theirs; and Addy's mouth twitched into a half-smile. "Yes. He's waiting."

Addy's breath stopped, and Bella's scream ripped apart the square.

So many dreams were broken and so much was sacrificed
Was it worth the ones we loved and had to leave behind?
So many years have past, who are the noble and the wise?
Will all our sins be justified?

Life was meaningless for a long time. She kept looking for a guaranteed way to follow them, she couldn't stop herself. The fear that she would take her own life only to find that their separation was eternal was the only thing that stayed her hand. She had to go to the other-side, had to find a way to find them.

They could be mad at her when she got there.

She couldn't win this fight. What good was she doing here, too weak to fight and hiding from all the Master could destroy of her?

It would be worse, when she fell. Dying was the smart option, really. She couldn't stop him, couldn't save anybody. She had killed them; she was a monster.

And then, the Akira came. A messenger knocked on her door in the middle of the night after Marcos had stormed out from a fight. Bella had been icing her black eye when she opened the door, and the black-painted old man standing in the doorway had immediately hit her over the head with his staff. He chastised her like she was a child throwing a tantrum and told her she had 12 hours to pack her stuff and make her excuses. Those with affinities of Spirit required training with the Temple, especially if they were going to do stupid things like commit suicide.

Bella shuddered at the words. She had gone to great lengths to hide her plans, had never said those words out loud. The door clicked behind him when he left; and Bella had started packing, though she didn't really know why.

She never knew why, anymore. The thought made her pause. She looked at the pretty red sundress Marcos had bought her, one of the times they'd had a bit of extra cash; but she saw the hem of a floaty red sundress, a flash of brown eyes.

Soon. She would learn what she could from the Akira, but it would not change anything. She would return to say goodbye to Marcos and the kind traitor, Kaedra; and then she would go far away and face her demons, force the draw. Forks would be nice, the symmetry of dying where she had been born. There was nothing left for her, here. Soon.

A flash:

They were dancing under the gazebo, separated as always from the mortals' petty dramas. She had realized it when she had agreed to run away from that pathetically sadistic vampire, James. She should have fought him, had wanted to. She could have burned him in a heartbeat, from the inside out. She could have let him kill her. But then she would have to leave Forks, leave him. Jesus, the man had been Tomas' doppelganger. What a psycho.

She had considered leaving but chosen to stay, to see how it would play out without her input, and the son-of-a-bitch had almost killed her mom and the Cullens besides. When she had considered it, she had realized she might be capable of spending eternity with this man, this vampire. Edward. That she wanted to.

The thought was still settling, and it made her feel incredibly guilty. Over a year now, she had been searching for death, mourning her loss. And now she wanted to stay with him. She knew she loved him, but she hadn't known how much. She hadn't known she loved him like them. Enough to do anything.

He had asked her for her thoughts, always so endearingly self-doubting. He was still questioning her acceptance of him and had been frightened by her near-death. Like her death mattered, like her life wasn't in danger every other Tuesday. It would be moot point in the end. Not good enough

She had lied to him about her nature, he didn't know; so, she told him the truth: she wanted his eternity. He wouldn't know what it meant, what it cost her to want that.

And he had been angry. He refused her. She should've known, he never was like the Master. She didn't know whether to laugh, or cry, or throw things. She would stay in the land of the living, abandon her people, give up her magick and hide for eternity to have him. She would never see Addy or Fio again, to stay dancing with him in their little world. And he didn't want her to.

She didn't know what to do, how to feel. So, she put her feet on top of his like a little child, let him kiss her forehead in the same careful way he always did, so different from Fiore. It was okay. She had time. He was still here, and the Master was not. The choice could wait.

She sent a prayer to her lovers, an apology. She couldn't be dead anymore. She had a life to live, and if she couldn't; at least she could let him be the one to kill her. Eventually, but perhaps not as soon as she had thought.

He had been waiting, just like they had known he would be. She could do this. She could live.

For him.

I need you to know
I'm not through the night
Some days I'm still fighting to walk towards the light
I need you to know
That we'll be okay
Together we can make it through another day

Edward opened his eyes, and Bella's widened at the rage in them. In his thoughts, she could see that her crime wasn't what she thought it was. The guilt of her lover's blood on her hands was horrific, eating her alive; but Edward could easily forgive it. He would gladly die at her hands for the exceptional people she ruled: the Fae who she loved so dearly. There were worse things, and chief among him was the terror that still raced through him at the thought that he would never have known her, that she would have killed herself before he ever met her. That she could still die, still choose to go where he could not follow.

He would die for the Fae gladly, die for her without second thought. But he could not live in a world without her. They would win, she would live. She could not leave him. He would not allow her to go to the other-side alone.

He wasn't thinking straight when he twisted her away from him, slammed her on the mattress so hard the bedframe broke. He shoved his hips between her legs to rub against her dress roughly in the same instant that he bit into her neck.

He took a great deal of blood from her; enough that her vision flickered; enough that she had an instant of worry for him after she died, for how he would blame himself. She hoped he knew that she didn't mind much, that she would be okay. She reached for him mentally, she wanted to say goodbye.

What she found made her fight him, but he held fast.

He was expressing: casting involuntarily, instinctually. The magicks responded to his plea in the only way his character allowed His scarlet twisted with hers in a way she had never seen, with a desperation that broke her heart. It hurt, like a brand on her skin.

It was almost a Binding, and she shook at the similarity even though she knew him. But there was no consumption here, no demands to be obeyed. Just love. Violent, all-consuming love.

Mine. Yours. You were made for me, and I for you. Equals. I will follow you, Bella. Carlisle would do it, if no one else would. He's a doctor through and through, he would see I was already gone. Sabali.

I will find a way. The Volturi. I'd tell them about the Fae, about Havana. They'd kill me for that, surely. I'd be dead, I wouldn't have to see the war that would follow. A can of gas and a match. Without you, I could do it, it wouldn't be so bad. I probably wouldn't even notice the pain of burning alive.

Anything, everything. For every second of every day, I would look for a way. And I would find it.

Do you understand? I am not the man you think I am, without you. I am Vampyr. I will burn the world, Bella. I will go on a killing spree. I will drain every human on this earth until their eyes go blank as I search for blood like yours. I will not find it.

There are things the universe cannot ask of me. Destiny can burn in hell, I'll help.

I don't care if we live or die, Bella. But we will do it together. You want to die, to follow them? You think you deserve it, that it is necessary? Fine. I will have the honor of your lifeblood on my tongue. But I'm all twisted up now, see? Prisoners of each other. You go, I go.

And Bella could see. The meshing of their auras was impossible to escape, a hopelessly twisted togetherness. She wasn't quite herself anymore, and neither was he. Edward-and-Bella. There was power, here, control. A choice magickally taken from her and given to him. In return she had been gifted control over him, over his choice too.

The cast was inelegant, alien and wild; and so stunningly beautiful that she almost couldn't look at it. She could spend eternity trying to overcome it, and even for all her power, she would not be able to.

And yet, it wasn't anything threatening. It was...it was nothing more than a King's order, a simple command to the universe: this was fact, inescapable truth. Where Bella went, Edward would follow.

Bella blinked. She was somehow head-over-heels in love with him for what he had just done, and absolutely furious. If Edward took her blood, if Edward killed her, then he would die too. Their lives were not individual anymore. Not their own. Edward was passive now, and he did not fight her when she pushed him away roughly.

"What? How did you even. Edward. What have you done?" she blinked again, and Edward did not speak, just looked at her with those bright green eyes that were the most beautiful color she'd ever seen. She had lost a lot of blood; she was weak and limp. Her muscles wouldn't quite obey her, but she forced herself up on her arms under him anyway, pulling herself up from where he leaned over her.

"Edward! What the hell?! You can't just...Edward. You Bound me. Sort of. I'm bound, anyway. So are you. We're bound. To. Well, to each other, I guess."

She was going to hyperventilate. What even was this connection? It wasn't quite a Binding; the control wasn't total. She was still herself, still in control of her choices. Just not this one. Maybe it was a choosing? No, that didn't fit either. They were too twisted up for that, psychically connected. It was somewhere in the middle. What?

Only the Akira could perform Choosings. Edward had never even seen one before! Not even to mention that he had just expressed, in what was quite possibly the weirdest way ever. Was this legal? She should really be angrier about this, and less curious.

What affinity was this cast? Fire? Spirit? Edward was a freaking vampire! He couldn't have a fire affinity.

She poked at his spell, and it flared at her warmly, like a hug. She could sense Edward's emotions, the gist of his thoughts and the character traits attached to them, but it wasn't any telepathy like she knew it. It was more just an awareness of where he was and how he was feeling. She could send him her mental presence easier than she could hold it back, read his mind as easy as breathing. Like a telephone call that never hung up.

"Seriously. Edward, love. What the hell did you just do? I'm not sure, but I think you just broke the law. Edward. This sort of thing requires consent: I should be furious with you. Give me a minute, I'm working on it. I'm sure I'll get there."

"I made it where you can't run off when I'm not looking and kill yourself without dragging me along too. If that's a crime, so be it. I am so mad at you I could spit."

But Bella had the connection now, so she knew that he was lying, that she was too. Edward was hurt and grieving and jealous and terrified, but he wasn't mad. Just desperate for her not to leave him. She saw a flash of the night before, his hands around her throat. Him staring at her face as she slept, and his fear that he couldn't keep her with him.

She had understood her surrender then, and now he did too, found joy in it. She gave him control over her death, gladly gave up her individuality, and it was freaking her out even as she chose to do it. But everything had always been secondary to him, and he was so much closer now.

"You're not mad. By the way, I'm not mad, either. I'm not sure how to hide this, and Marcos and Kay will have things to say. Your family, at least, is gonna notice. This is...this is gonna take a minute to get used to."

When she looked at him, she could see him. His aura appeared with no effort, so prevalent that his face was almost secondary. See saw him, not just the body he inhabited. Holy shit, he was fucking gorgeous.

He looked at her the same way, could see her too. She could fell his awe mix with hers. "Yeah. I guess I should've asked first. You wouldn't have said no. Sorry. Is magick always like this?"

Okay, she could deal with this, maybe. "Uh, no."

It was twilight, their family should be back by now. The Spellmans would be gathering for the party. What was the best way to get out of their obligations? This required further exploration and consideration. They agreed, and shared thoughts about it as easy as talking, nothing hidden and everything shared.

Suddenly, the house shook around them, and Bella processed a wrongin the air. They snarled in unison.

"What now?"