This chapter is rated M.
Thanks to Jess for a review. Appreciate it. Please, keep 'em comin'.
If you recognize it, it is not mine.
The following chapter contains references Dear Sigmund and The Korean Surgeon and the book MASH FAQ by Dale Sherman.
Although they didn't automatically reverse back to their previous closeness, Hawkeye and Claudia's relationship improved significantly. For one, they were able to engage in casual conversation and not having it end in an argument. On top of that, they didn't mind sitting next to each other in the mess tent or during meeting in Colonel Potter's office and sometimes even exchanged harmless banter.
The personnel of 4077 picked up on the change, but everyone knew better than to comment on it. Plus the workload was keeping everyone too busy to do much else than their duty. With the UN side doing much better now, wounded UN soldiers were often transported directly to Japan, however the sever cases and the influx of injured enemy soldiers after overrunning North Korean and Chinese aid stations kept 4077 busy anyway.
And although Claudia was holding it together, Hawkeye was worried about her. He remembered well how she reacted the last time she saw a North Korean uniform. However whenever he tried to breach the subject, she excused herself and disappeared. It didn't help that he never seem to know what to say.
He knew what he wanted to do. That was gently pulled her body into his arms and never let go. Inhale her scent and get lost in it while whispering her name. Feeling her shivering with anticipation as his lips were searching hers, slowly giving in their needs. He longed for her presence. But as soon as he was with her, he couldn't get himself to concentrate on anything.
So the days passed, and between picking up parasites one by one from stomach wound and dropping them into buckets before starting the actual surgery, and trying to reconstruct crashed arteries with grafts, they barely saw each other. One of the rare instances, when he got to spend some time with her, was right after she reprimanded Margaret for how she treated enemy patients. She accused one of trying to kill a wounded American when all he was trying to do was help him by clearing a breathing tube.
"So the grafting was successful. His leg will be as good as new in a few months." Claudia said, recounting the operation.
"Well, that deserves a celebration!" Hawkeye said, with a sense of pride. "Or at least a drink. What do you say?"
"I could use a drink. Courageous enough to go into my tent?" Claudia gestured towards her olive-green tent, smiling softly. He returned the smile and walked a bit faster.
Once there, Hawkeye sat down on her cot and studied the way Claudia moved around her tent. Soon enough, there was a cup of strong liquor in his hand and Claudia was pouring herself one.
"Cheers, my dear." Hawkeye couldn't hide his excitement and his voice was exuding it as well.
"Cheers. And I am not your dear, honey." Her lips curled into a bigger smile as she sat down next to him.
"Sorry, Ma'am." Hawkeye took another gulp of the bitter liquid and was suddenly feeling a surge of honesty coming his way. "I missed you, you know."
Claudia looked at him, surprised at how quickly he got to the issue. He hasn't shaven in a few days and so he looked a little scruffy, but still to her, he looked perfect. The exhaustion of the recent days showed on his face and often made him yawn. Realizing she had not said anything for quite a while, she whispered his nickname.
"Yes?" He answered quickly.
"I missed you, too." She admitted quietly, putting down her cup on the table. Hawkeye followed her example and once his hands were free, he put them around her shoulders, pulling her close. She felt nicely familiar pressed against his body. His lips traveled slowly down her neck, kissing her lightly. His administrations were rewarded by a soft moan that wonderfully broke the silence and drove him wild.
Meanwhile her hands dipped under his shirt, caressing him gently. They both felt uneasy with the situation, more so than before due to their angry interlude. It was as if they were getting acquainted for the first time, but at the same time knew precisely how great the result would be. For a moment they both stopped and just stared at each other, hyperventilating.
She could again see that spark in his eyes that she loved, that always made her feel like she was about to lose control. His blue eyes were on her, drinking in every movement she made. So she leaned forward and captured his lips in a tender kiss. He responded quickly, kissing her back with more passion than he ever kissed anyone with.
Her lips were as sweet as he remembered them to be, the taste sending tingling sensation all along his spine. They bodies were smashed together so tight, they felt each other's hearts beating.
"Oh, Hawkeye." She purred as they drew apart, panting. He hold her gaze as his hands slipped under her shirt, stroking her velvet skin. As always, she was very responsive, moaning and quivering under his touch. That fired Hawkeye up even more. Without breaking eye contact, he got rid of her jacket and began to caress the skin newly made accessible to him.
"You're so beautiful." Hawkeye breathed out loudly, trying to calm himself down. Her body was driving him crazy and by the look of it, she wasn't far behind. It wasn't long till they were grabbing at each other's clothing in desperate rush to remove any barriers between their bodies.
When they both undressed, he gently pressed her into the bed, lying on top of her as their lips locked together again. She twisted her right hand in his hair and the other around his back, bringing his body even closer to hers. The sensations were overwhelming. Somehow, for a brief moment, they forgot where they were and how much they've seen. The fierceness of their encounter surprised both of them, but neither complained. They were engulfed in each other's presence, enjoying the tantalizing warmth of the contact.
Hawkeye made special effort to be gentle this time, to show her how much he missed her company and how much he cared about her. Therefore he didn't want to rush through this, but rather get to really enjoy it. He watched the way her swollen lips shivered when he teased her with his fingers, trying to memorize the scene. He listened for the barely audible gasps that meant she was close and then stopped his administrations for a few seconds to prolong her pleasure, despite her pleas to continue. His lips were busy dancing around her erect nipples and his hands were massaging her breasts every now and then.
It was increasingly difficult for him to ignore his own arousal, especially since she was arching her body up against his, periodically ramming it against him. A frustrated growl escaped his lips, and it made her pulse speed up even more, because it revealed how much he wanted her. His urgent need was more than little flattering. He originally wanted to wait to see her come apart underneath him before taking it further, but now he was doubting his ability to control himself long enough. And judging by her eager enthusiasm, she wouldn't mind.
He got a confirmation of that only a moment later, when she took matters in her own hands, so to speak. They shared in their frantic effort to be quiet while their bodies screamed for them to vocalize the earth-shattering excitement that ran through their veins. They were in danger of letting their primal emotions get the best of them before they together collapsed on the bed, totally exhausted. It probably wouldn't be good if the whole camp was able to hear them.
After they sufficiently calmed down to become lucid again, Hawkeye grabbed her blanket and threw it over their joint bodies. They stayed like that until Radar came looking for Hawkeye.
As Claudia later found out, Hawkeye was needed in Colonel Potter's office because of Major Houllihan ever-present paranoia. She was suspicious about the new doctor from the start and Major Burns agreed mainly to get on her good side again. Claudia didn't know what to think, since she didn't met the new doctor yet. The shifts were scheduled so they always missed each other. And during operations in the OR, you don't really have time to have a meaningful chat. From what she has seen, he was an able surgeon.
The only thing that made her a little suspicious herself was the secretive behavior of Radar and the Swamp guys. It seemed they were planning something, only recently she caught them having a private chat in Colonel's office. And they were all pretty startled when she walked in. So frankly, it was possible something was up.
And every time she indirectly asked Radar about it, he excused himself and ran away. He paused for a while, after she told him she'd be the one performing annual nurses' physicals this year, so she could imagine the Swamp boys dangled this in front of him to gain his cooperation. Some other time she would make an effort to find out the truth, but lately she was getting too many sad news to care. In the end the cover-up was discovered even without her joining in, even though if she did it might have ended differently. It did hurt her that boys hadn't included her in their action plan. She could have helped. Instead they did a stupid thing in the most stupid way they possible could and they lost the surgeon.
After Frank came back, covered in dust and limping in exhaustion, the camp started to go back to how it was. New regulations were put in place regarding distribution of supplies, specifically saying Frank Burns should stay away from it in the future.
Claudia found herself closing off again. In part due to the numerous letters she received about the dire situation in Central Europe, but also because she was again reminded how different she and Hawkeye was in some aspects. Yes, they shared most of the same values, but she found his disdain for rules and authority pretty worrisome. Especially since he was seemingly doing things without any regard for consequences. And somehow it seemed more like irresponsibility than bravery in his case.
Their difference made for some interesting conversations, but mainly they avoided the contested topics. As in this instance, Claudia kept her distance, so she didn't have a chance to say something she'd regret. She was angry to be left out, sure, but also about the fact that they endangered their careers as well as Colonel Potter's, who despite all their shenanigans always fought for them. So she wanted to wait until the air was sufficiently cleared, but Hawkeye pretty much cornered her in the mess tent.
"Heard you were feeling a little under the weather. Are you okay?" Hawkeye's voice was caring, as always, but also insecure.
"Nothing a little rest cannot fix. Thanks for asking." She tried to sound casual, but somehow she failed to do so. It seemed to her it was clear something was bothering her.
"Okay, so let's have it." Hawkeye sat, sitting down opposite of her, preparing himself for an altercation.
"What are you talking about?" Claudia asked, raising an eyebrow.
"You are upset with me."
"Hawkeye…" Claudia took the cup of coffee he was offering her and drank from it. "Do you wanna get into it now?"
"Not really, but I don't want you to avoid me. I told you I am serious about us." He moved his hand along the table until it came to rest on hers. His touch was light, but still it made her heart race. She looked up at him, noticing how tired he looked. Or maybe sad.
"You know, sometimes I wonder if you just forgot about the war and the army. There are rules and regulations that need to be followed. You could have destroyed Colonel Potter's life with your little stunt. And yours, BJ's and Radar's." She hold onto his hand, caressing it gently while she talked.
"Are you angry about what I did or that I didn't tell you?"
"Both. It's a breach of trust, but also I could have helped you. We could have tried to figure something out, but due to your deceit all the options are gone." She let go of his hand to take a sip of coffee. He kept watching her closely, waiting for her to continue speaking. "You keep doing irresponsible things and I'm worried. War is a dangerous place, Hawkeye. I'd hate to see you get hurt."
"Claudia, you're so sweet." Hawkeye whispered.