My dear little broccolisđź’šđź’šđź’š
đź’š So, this is a story that has been hanging in my mind for a little while, and here is the twist, you can read it as a TMI fanfic, or an FSOG one. I will update at the same time for both of those stories, so pick the characters you want to follow, or do both, haha.
đź’š Also, if you want pictures of the story, just check out my Facebook group, Mina's Broccolis, and you will find pictures as the story unveils. And a few sneak-peeks here and there as well.
‼️ABOUT THE REVIEWS‼️
(It's going to be a long one, haha)
1/ So, finally, people are seeing the light and starting to see the flaws of a certain man. Haha. I promise, the story the end justifies the journey, so just bear with me, and see where ii am taking you. And don't think I want you to hate Jace, it's just that the way he acts doesn't justify the way some people are lashing on to Clary, putting the blame on her and saying that everything is all her fault and that Jace is just a poor sweet innocent little fluff ball.
2/ Now about Clary ... I want you to remember a couple of things she said when they started their relationship. She said, in between words, that she knew where she stood. She also said that she knew what Jace expected out of their relationship. And as many of you have pointed out, I want ALL of you to remember that this story is said from Jace's pov. I never pretended to say that Jace was a reliable narrator ... And I also want you to keep in mind, that more than once Jace dispaired on the fact that he was so good when it came to business, but useless when it came to Clary. He never knows what to tell her, or how to tell her.
3/ Now, about Clary forgiving Jace with the whole chickenpox thing, I want you to remember that she was more concerned over losing her daughter than her own feelings at that moment. In a way, Jace got lucky because he caught her at a moment when she was emotionally drained by her worry for Celine. That, and something else that will be explained in a few chapters. So for those thinking she is a doormat, wait until a few chapters.
4/ Now about the contraception, y'all ... I don't care if condoms are a mood killer, if there are several other contraceptive ways, if someone says they don't want to take it, it's their rights. They don't even have to justify it. If I make someone a chocolate cake full of love and dedication, and the person says they don't want to eat it, I'm not going to ask for explanations. They don't WANT to. They shouldn't have to explain why, whether it's allergies, diet, sour memories or whatever. No, means no, no matter the circumstances. Moreover, she did say to Jace "my body, my hormones, my choice", which clearly means, it does affect her, and Jace is just too wrapped on himself to understand that.
5/ Also, I would like you all to remember something that both Alec and Clary have told Jace at the beginning of this story about his commitment to his family and his relationship to work.
6/ And, this is my personal opinion, but there are NO excuse or justification. Tiredness, elation, drunkness, nope. You are a human being, act like it. Period. It's not even a question of law, it's a question of morals but that's me.
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LEAVE A REVIEW‼️
đź’š Sweetie, Let Me Give You The Daddy đź’š
Chapter 23: Purple Hyacinth, Garnet & Midleton (8,1K)
So, this title. Garnet is the Gemstone of January. Purple hyacinths are the flowers to express remorse. And Midleton is a rare Irish whiskey.
"Daddy? Daddy? Are you sleeping?"
Jace woke up with a start, Celine poking at his arm. He blinked at his daughter, the room dark due to the curtains, though it was obvious it was well into the day. He sat up groggily, taking in Celine.
She was dressed to go out in the cold, her hair hidden by a woolly beanie, her dress hidden by her coat, her fingers tucked in gloves. He blinked several times, trying to understand what was happening. He glanced at the clock, seeing that it was almost two in the afternoon, and he grimaced, feeling that he had wasted part of his day.
"Nana said I should check if you are sick. Do you have the chickenpox like I did?"
"Chickenpox, sweetie. No, I don't. I just …" He trailed off, not sure why he woke up so late and feeling so shitty about himself.
Celine started telling him that the boys and she would help Pops restore the treehouse, and a fleeting memory emerged of Michael, Alec and Jace struggling to build the treehouse until Celine came to help. His mother had always been the more handy parent, just like his father was the better cook.
Little Celine was trying to convince her father to help them with the abandoned treehouse, when Jace felt the blood leave his face, recalling why he was feeling so groggy. After incessant tossing, and waking her up a couple of times, Clary had insisted that he take a pill to sleep. Clary…he remembered what had happened the previous night, uselessly glancing at Clary's empty side of the bed, and he interrupted Celine talking about Jin and his upcoming trip to the US.
"Where is your mother?" He asked with urgency, fear paralysing his insides. Celine shrugged, not appreciating being cut off.
"Out. But I wasn't finished. So, Jin said he never saw the snow. So, it's good we're going back to New York for the New Year because there is no snow here. Pops says sometimes it snows, but not always.
Do you know why the snow doesn't go to some places? Because there was no snow in London either. It's not normal. The sun goes to sleep everywhere, so why doesn't the snow go everywhere?"
She looked at him expectantly, waiting for a rational answer, but he had no idea how to quickly explain the seasons and climate change to his daughter when he had no idea where her mother was.
"I'm not sure, sweetie. How long has your mother been gone?"
"Gone? Mama is not gone. She's out. She's on the swing."
Jace got out of bed, drawing the curtains open, and he saw through the window Clary sitting on the swing, her back to him. She seemed to be on the phone.
Celine walked to Jace and asked for his arms, and he took her in, kissing her cheek with love. Was this the last time he would get to hold his daughter? Was Clary on the phone with a lawyer, to get custody of his kid before he could even react? Was she arranging her return to New York? London?
He fucked up. Real bad. He fucked up to the point of no return. No amount of apologies or flowers would ever make up for what he did. He held Celine tight against him, appreciating what might be his last moments with her. If Clary asked for full custody, he wouldn't even fight her.
"Daddy, are you listening?"
"Sorry, sweetie, what did you say?"
Celine pouted, clearly not impressed by her father's lack of focus. "I said, I think Mama is sad because Uncle Jamie left. I think she wanted him to stay for the whole Christmas."
"Jamie's gone?" Celine nodded, and Jace put her down, taking his phone in his hands. He checked if he missed anything important that would justify Jamie leaving suddenly, but there was just the same few emails he usually got during this period of time.
"Are you going to work today?" Celine demanded, and Jace saw a couple of rapports that needed his attention, so he promised,
"Not much, sweetie. I'll still spend some time with you."
"Well, not now. Julian said he's going to teach me how to ride a bike. Maybe I should ask him about the snow. He is very clever, you know. He said he knows where babies come from!"
Jace nodded absentmindedly, before registering what she had said. She was already halfway through the door when he called out, "Tell Julian I said to not talk about babies!"
"Yes, daddy!" She giggled, and he could hear that she was already on the stairs, looking for her cousin. He frowned, wondering why in the hell would anyone mention anything about reproduction around Celine. He would need to have a word with his nephew.
With a shake of his head, he went to his bathroom, splashing his face with cold water as the guilt and shame of the previous night came back to him with the force of a wrecking ball, now that Celine was no longer with him.
He had monumentally fucked up. Clary did nothing but try to make him happy, giving him the thing he wanted most in the world, and he …
He sat at the windowpane, looking at Clary, who was still on the phone, talking to God knew who. Was she telling that person of his sin? Was she confiding in someone else how she had made the biggest mistake of her life going back to him? Did she tell Magnus already? Or Karl? Jace doubted that neither man would have let him sleep if she had. They loved her too much to let this go unpunished. His own family would disown him if they knew. His father, his brother…his mother. What was he going to tell them?
His eyes were fixed on her red hair, a few strands loose in the wind, and he noticed that unlike Celine, Clary didn't wear anything to protect herself from the cold. And she wasn't moving. She could get sick, but who was he to actually tell her anything anymore.
"You okay, son?" Michael asked, knocking on the door slightly.
Jace wanted to lie and pretend that everything was okay, but the words caught in his throat, so he refocused his attention to Clary's back. She was no longer on the phone, slightly swinging herself as a child would do.
Michael walked in the room, and watched through the window as well, trying to see what was bothering his son, before his eyes saw Clary, and he smiled benevolently. "Ha. Did you get in a fight?"
"Why? What did she say?" Jace panicked. Michael laughed, tapping Jace's back as he leaned against the wall adjacent to the window.
"Clary? Saying something? Do you know your girlfriend? She's been the gracious guest she's always been when she comes here.
She made us pancakes, which are only getting better and better if I must say. And she promised hot cocoa and cookies for those who would help with the restoration of the treehouse. I'm sorry to tell you, we are already six on this task, you should have gotten up early if you wanted cookies."
Jace forced a smile, his eyes still on Clary who was apparently enjoying her time on the swing. He wondered why she didn't come back inside, where it was warm. Was she not comfortable being in the same house as he was? Because he would leave if it made her feel better.
"Jace…you have this face you've always had when you did something wrong," Michael commented, and Jace admitted,
"I did."
"Do you want to talk about it?"
Jace glanced at the door, not eager to talk about the atrocity he committed, and even less to have his little girl hear about it. Michael seemed to understand and went to close the door as Jace looked back at Clary.
She was no longer on the swing but laughing with Jason as Alec was giving her a glass of wine. He told her something that made her laugh out loud, and Jace's eyes were briefly distracted by Julian and Celine. They were holding Celine's bike, though he noticed the absence of training wheels.
He frowned, sure that Celine shouldn't try cycling without the security of the extra wheels, and Michael commented, his hands in his pockets, "Your daughter is quite stubborn, you know. We - and by that, I mean your mother - had to remove the training wheels because apparently, and I'm sorry to break the news, Celine is not a baby."
Jace smiled slightly, not surprised that Celine would obviously try to do everything like a grownup straight away. He didn't remember being so mature at her age. Or in his youth. He watched his daughter climb on her bike, all geared up as Julian held the bike steady, standing in front of her.
For a while, father and son just watched Celine's attempts to put her feet on the pedals whilst Magnus took pictures, and Jace felt a rush of guilt, shame, and pain. He should have been the one teaching Celine how to ride a bike, taking pictures, laughing with Clary whilst drinking wine.
"Jace? What happened? I can't help you if you don't tell me," Michael called out, moving behind him, and Jace shook his head, his eyes going back to the woman he loved so much. Could he still call it love after what he did?
"She's going to leave me."
"Clary?" Michael questioned, his voice a bit further, and Jace nodded, feeling his heart constrict at the thought. It was his fault. His own and terrible fault. "And that's why she gave you the papers that make Celine yours in every sense of the law?"
Jace blinked and turned to see his father standing by the side of his bed, holding the papers that made Celine a Wayland now. He glanced around, noting that all their Christmas presents were neatly put in a wicker basket, and he wasn't even surprised. He always felt that Clary had OCD, and this was just confirming it.
"I…Dad…I did something…awful…" Jace said, not sure how to say the words.
Michael smiled and sat on the edge of Clary's side of the bed, and he said in a conciliatory manner, "Ah, son. Don't fret. Women have this amazing and incredible capacity to forgive our words of anger. Otherwise, God knows your Mom would have left me long ago. Or killed me."
He knew his father was trying to diffuse the tension, but it did not make him feel any better. It didn't even tear a smile out of him. So, he just kept looking at the window, admitting,
"It's not something I said, though I'm pretty sure that what I said yesterday can be added to the list of grievances."
"What did you say?" Michael inquired, clearly going with the easiest route. Jace took a deep breath, feeling awkward talking about this topic with his father, but knowing that of all people, Michael would be the most qualified to answer, and maybe, make Clary see reason. If she miraculously decided to stay.
"I…well…we're still using condoms because she keeps refusing to make our lives easy and take the pill. And…well, I told her how it makes me feel, so she agreed to take the drug. But…the way she agreed…it felt wrong. It felt…I don't know."
"Why are you making this about you?"
"Because we are a couple, so her decision affects us both."
"Did you even bother asking her why she doesn't want to take the pill, or did you make it about how you feel?" Michael admonished, and Jace gritted his teeth.
"It's obvious why she doesn't want to take the pill, she doesn't want to commit. The condoms, holding back saying I love you, refusing to let me spend a single penny on her. She uses anything she can think of to keep me at bay as if she's just waiting for me to fuck up so she can prove me wrong!"
Jace closed his eyes, realising that he had already fucked up and that he had given her the perfect excuse to go. He heard his father sigh from the bed, and he glanced at him, seeing him shake his head slightly before Michael said,
"You know, it's a good thing you're moving back to Seattle. Because you clearly need advice on this whole relationship thing. First…this is all wrong, you're interpreting things all wrong, and your mother would have an ulcer if she heard your theories.
I'm not a psychiatrist, but it seems quite obvious that Clary's childhood was…different, not to say lacking. It does things to people. Can't you sympathise why it's hard for her to say certain words, or for her to depend on people?"
Jace couldn't help but roll his eyes. He did not need a shrink session…or at least, not for that. He knew that, at the end of the day, "Saying I love you has nothing to do with her past, Dad. She's just using it as a weapon against me."
Michael shook his head again. "Your Mom pointed out something to me yesterday afternoon whilst we were singing karaoke. She has never heard Clary say I love you to anyone. Not even Celine. Is she right?"
Jace concentrated, trying to recall if he ever heard Clary say the words to anyone, but he came up empty. Still, there was one thing he knew for sure: "Clary loves Celine."
"Of course, she does. And Celine knows that, despite the lack of words. Your mother says that children that have been deprived of love grow up to go one way or the other. It's all or nothing, but I think you're getting the meaning reversed. Clary loves you, Jace. She's just subtle in the way she says it.
You're expecting words when she shows it in much more powerful ways. Like giving up the only family she has to come live in Seattle so you can be close to your own family, and your business. Like spending weeks going from shop to shop to find the perfect replicas of your many cars so you can have a collection in your office. Like struggling to find the exact same cufflinks that your grandfather had because you mentioned once upon a time that you admired how he dressed."
"When did I ever say that?" Jace mused, an eyebrow up.
"The first time you brought her here, on your birthday. I was talking to her about my father, and you lightly said you always liked how he dressed so elegantly, "epitome of gentleman fashion" you said. And she remembered that all those years to give you this little thing that would make you feel like your grandpa.
Clary loves you, Jace, she's just not used to saying the words. I guess she is one of those people for whom actions matter so much more than words."
Jace nodded, looking back at the window. Celine was wobbling on her bike, but going forward, and everyone was applauding her. Until she bumped the tree, apparently having forgotten that brakes existed. Everyone laughed around her when she got back up and tried to get on her bike again.
"Now…about the pill. You can't impose that on her, Jace. It's not about you. It's not even about you as a couple. It's about her. She's the one who's affected by this decision. Physically, chemically, hormonally. You don't have to suffer through the secondary effects, she does. She should be the only person deciding whether or not she should take the pill. You have no say in the matter."
Jace hmphed, not convinced. He had never met a woman who was so-called affected by the pill, starting with his mother. The only secondary effect he knew of, was the lack of babies. Michael sighed heavily, before saying,
"Let me ask you a question. Let's say she takes the pill. You know it's not an exact science. So, let's say she gets pregnant. What then?"
"She doesn't want any more kids." Michael seemed surprised by that statement, but went on,
"Okay. But if there is another surprise baby. Who will be pissed, and who will welcome the baby with open arms? Be honest."
Jace remained silent, because he knew the truth, just like his father did: he would be the one throwing a fit. He couldn't deal with another kid. "I never understood why you never got a vasectomy, Jace. You've always known about not wanting kids, and it would be much easier for you."
Once again, he didn't say a word. Somehow, it felt wrong to admit to his ob-gyn father that he would feel less of a man if he got that operation. Somehow, knowing that he could reproduce, even if he didn't want to, made him feel…more manly. Maybe it was some primal instinct, or maybe he was just being a caveman as Clary would say, but he knew that he wouldn't get the vasectomy.
Michael moved from the bed to tap on his shoulder before he leaned against the wall so he could be facing his son, reading him like in an open book. "So, because of your ego, you're ready to impose something on the woman you love, even though you know she doesn't want to …
If it helps you make the right decision, it's always safer to unload a gun, rather than wear a bullet-proof vest. Especially if the vest makes the wearer ill. Just cover-up, and stop thinking just about you in this situation, son."
Jace nodded, never having thought of it that way. He hated that his father was making so much sense and making him feel even worse than he already did. He felt that everything beautiful Clary had given him was ruined forever. She gave him Celine and he…ruined everything being an egotistical bastard.
"Okay, so now that we've talked about the easy thing. What did you do that is so awful you think Clary, of all people, will leave you?"
Jace stayed silent for a moment, his eyes still on the window. Magnus was now standing beside Clary, talking to her with an arm wrapped around her shoulders as she smiled brightly at him. Jace swallowed with difficulty and whispered, "I…I'm ashamed, Dad."
Michael waited for Jace to go on, though Jace did not look at him, despite the intensity of his father's gaze on him. "I'm your father, Jace. There is nothing you can say that I haven't heard before."
Jace looked down on the floor, and finally confessed, "I…last night…after I saw the papers for Celine…I got carried away…and…she didn't…"
There was a deafening silence during which Jace kept his eyes on the floor as Michael slightly moved away from the wall. Jace saw how his father tightly clenched his fist before angrily letting go of the self-imposed pressure as he asked in an accusatory whisper,
"Are you telling me that you raped Clary? The woman you claim to love. The mother of your child?!"
Jace winced at the word that he had so carefully avoided thinking about. There it was, in the open and he couldn't deny it anymore. He belonged to the odd species of creeps, the ones he had always looked down upon. He had always known about his many flaws, but he had also always known that there were some things he wouldn't stoop to. Hitting a woman or a child, mass murder, adultery, rape…
But now...now he was one of them. One of those people who had no excuses and who plagued the Earth with their very presence.
"Your mother was right. We clearly missed something in your education," Michael coldly accused and Jace winced once again, pleading,
"Don't tell Mom."
"I don't care how you feel, Jace! Do you realise that you just admitted that you raped someone!?"
Jace nodded. That was the reason he had stopped. That was the reason Clary had to force him to take a pill to sleep. Because he knew what he did was wrong on every level. Humanly, instinctively, romantically. And yet, despite knowing that there was no absolution, he still tried to defend himself.
"I was drunk. I was not thinking clearly."
"Being drunk is not an excuse!" Michael bellowed, disappointment and disgust echoing in his voice. But it was nothing compared to what Jace was feeling.
Michael glanced at the window, no doubt looking for Clary, and asked, "Why is she still here?"
"Because I don't deserve her."
"Well, that's an understatement! I can't believe you…"
Michael's voice died and shame took over Jace once more. How could he have gone so far? Still, he tried to justify himself, to prove to himself and his father that he wasn't that bad of a monster and that he was aware of what he did, even then.
"I…I stopped, you know. I thought she was in the mood at first, and…I stopped as soon as I realised she wasn't."
"You stopped?" Michael asked, his tone changing, and Jace nodded, his eyes still cast downward.
"What did she say?"
"What does it matter? As soon as we're back home, she'll pack up and take Celine back to New York, or London." He paled. He didn't want to lose either of them.
"It matters because she knows better than anyone if she's been assaulted."
"She has. I did that. And it's not the first time."
"What?! Please don't tell me that Celine is a child of —" Michael shouted, making Jace snap his gaze up and meet his father's murderous eyes.
"No! Of course not! Not me! She…" He hesitated a second, not comfortable going into so much detail with his father. "It's just that we were into it at first, and when she brought up the condom issue, I said I would pull out. And…she froze and turned her head when I tried to kiss her. And…it just felt like she was too fucking familiar with this whole situation. I know for sure she's been used as…as an inflatable doll before."
And he was sure it was Henry. How many times had Clary assured him that Henry never hit her, when in fact, he did much worse?
There was a small silence, Michael looked back through the window and Jace followed his gaze, seeing Clary talking with Magnus and Alec whilst Celine was learning to cycle with Julian and Jason. Michael sat on the windowpane next to Jace and put his hand on his shoulder.
"Jace…you do know that Clary would never see a therapist, right?"
"I know." This was one thing he knew for sure. Clary didn't like talking about herself, even less when it came to her feelings. There was no need for her to go to a shrink if she was just going to make small talk and avoid all the issues she should talk about.
"So, whatever happened in her past, it falls on her to deal with it. You can't do anything about it. Well, you can avoid being a dick and triggering past memories, but you can't heal her past for her.
Now about last night…the fact that you stopped changes everything. You should speak to her and ask her about it. She'll tell you how she felt."
"I damn well know how it felt."
"Or maybe your ego is playing against you. Trust me, I know how unpleasant it is to be turned down in the middle of sex. I know it makes you question yourself as a man, as a person, as a lover. And maybe you're reading too much into this.
You're on a thin line, here. And you can either torture yourself and never actually know, or you can talk to Clary. Either way, she's the only one who can absolve you. For better or for worse."
"So…you don't think I've…you don't think I've screwed everything up?"
"I think only Clary can answer your question. What did she say?"
"I'm not sure…She did ask to sleep in my arms, but…Clary has a good poker face."
"Then talk to her. But just so you know, if she says that you did sexually assault and emotionally bully her into accepting the contraception you wanted, I want you out of this house," Michael said before getting up and leaving.
Jace stayed motionless on the windowpane, and he saw his father come out with some tools, greeted by his three grandchildren. They all rushed to the treehouse, Alec short on their heels, and Jace witnessed his father take Clary aside for a moment.
They talked together, but Clary's back was facing him, so he couldn't read much of her. All he knew was that she kept frantically shaking her head until Michael gave her a bear hug. This was not a good sign.
Clary left his father's arms and disappeared from the backyard, and Jace knew he would have to face her now. She came into the room, her cheeks red due to the cold, her fingers pink because she didn't wear anything warm, and her eyes full of worry.
Without a word, she walked to him, and what he had always promised himself not to do in front of Clary happened when she took him in her arms: he cried. How many times had he given himself a pep talk, saying that he was a man and he shouldn't cry? Even less in front of the woman he loved and had sworn to provide for.
He had always seen tears as a sign of weakness in men, but at this particular moment, he didn't care. He cried his heart out like he had wanted to cry since the night before.
"Jace…I told you yesterday. Nothing happened." She said in his ear, holding him against her chest, but all he found to say as he held her close to him was,
"I'm so sorry babe."
"It wasn't like that. I told you. You stopped. You've always stopped. You've always been aware of how I feel, even when we weren't actually together. Jace…" She waited for him to look at her, and when he didn't, she took his face in her hands, forcing him to look at her beautiful face. "You didn't rape me. That's the most ludicrous thing I've ever heard."
He felt relieved, burying his face back in her chest and ignoring the cold emanating from her body. Those were the words he had been waiting to hear since the night before.
And now that she was saying them, he felt relieved. Now that he thought of it, she was right, he always stopped before she even had to say so, all the way back in Vegas when they shared their first passionate kiss. He had wanted nothing more than to take her then, but he had felt that small hesitation that made him stop.
"Jace, you have to believe me. I've always felt safe with you. No matter what, I've always known you would stop. Drunk or sober, horny or angry, you respect human values too much to go down that road. Look at you now, sick over the very thought of it. Please believe me."
She cupped his face again, caressing his cheek and erasing his tears as she held his gaze so he could see the sincerity in her eyes. She gave him a small reassuring smile and waited for him to give it back to her.
When his lips slightly went up, she straddled him and lovingly kissed him, relieving him from any sort of anguish. This was the absolution his father had been talking about, this simple kiss that showed that Clary still loved him, still had faith in him, still felt safe with him.
He hugged her, whispering once again how sorry he was, and Clary shook her head, letting him know, "You do owe me big time, though. I just had the most awkward conversation ever with your father. I don't think I can ever look him in the eye again. Actually, I want to die."
Jace chuckled, holding Clary closer to him and he kissed her, promising, "Anything you want, it's yours."
"No, no, no. Big time. I've never wanted to talk about our sex life to your parents, even less reassure your father that you're a good man that would never do something like that. I'm thinking…lifetime of servitude. At the very least. And flowers…I'll never say no to flowers."
She gave him her brightest, most earnest smile and he kissed her again, relishing in her presence and the fact that he didn't fuck up after all. She was still here, in his arms, trusting him and reassuring him.
"I hope your father didn't give you a lecture," she worried, and he simply shook his head. He deserved any harsh word his father had for him. In fact, he felt that his father had been soft on him. Clary smiled with empathy and wove her hands into his hair.
"I'm sorry. I should have woken you up this morning and made sure that sleep had indeed cleared your mind."
"Clary…" He started, clearing his throat as he felt once again bile rising. She gently smiled, and he asked, "You've never…I mean…no one…you seemed a bit too familiar with the idea of just laying there."
"What does it matter? Does it change the way you see me if I say yes?"
"No, of course not. Nothing can ever change the way I see you. You're the love of my life, nothing will change that. I just…I just want to know."
Her brows furrowed, and he traced her lips with his thumb, pleading, "Please babe, tell me. Trust me to bear this cross with you."
For a brief second, she was lost in a memory, and Jace could tell it was not a pleasant one. But then, she blinked and shrugged, looking down as she admitted in a small voice,
"I don't really want to talk about it, Jace. I was young and…I didn't know better."
Jace's jaw locked, as he held her closer to him. Fucking Henry! That bastard had damaged her in more ways than she would ever admit. He was going to find him, wherever that asshole was, and he was going to make him pay. He felt a bulb of anger threatening to explode and he hissed between his teeth,
"I'm going to kill that fucker. I swear to God I— "
"You'll do nothing. No one cares about him anymore. Especially not me. I just care about you, me and Celine Wayland now," she said strongly, moving so she could cup his face one more.
They both stood their ground, but Jace had to give it to her, she had said the right words. He shouldn't care about Henry, just about their little family. So, he sighed, and she smiled, kissing his lips and resting her head in the crook of his neck.
"I'm sorry you had to feel like that, Jace. I really thought that once you would have sobered up, you would have realised that you were wrong. It seemed useless to talk last night. I was knackered, and you were wallowing in self-pity."
Jace traced her spine with his thumb, part of his conversation with his father coming back to him. "What about the pill? I didn't mean to force that on you either. Why don't you want to take it though?"
Clary sat up, looking at him in the eyes, before her face showed anguish and mortification as she whined, "I am never going to be in the same room as your father ever again! Why did you have to tell him about that?"
"Well, apparently I made the right call. I didn't realise I was forcing this on you. I thought you were just being difficult."
Clary shook her head, still mortified. "We're never seeing your parents again."
"Yeah, you can be mortified later on. But answer me? Did you say you'll take the pill just because of me?"
She shrugged. "Sort of. It's just…it doesn't sit well with my body, no matter the dosage. And it makes me moody and gives me migraines. And it makes me bloat. But…I don't want you to feel insecure about my feelings for you, or how committed I am to you. I'll just watch what I eat and try to find some good natural pain— "
"No. That's not how it works. I'm not emotionally bullying you into taking the pill. I didn't realise it affected you so much. I'm sorry. I won't be a jerk about condoms anymore."
He waited for her to smile, and when she did, he kissed her. For a moment, they said nothing, simply appreciating each other's presence until Clary sighed heavily and got out of his lap. He reached back for her, but she chuckled, opening the window wide.
"You know, I promised some cookies to the busy bees over there, and if I don't produce them, I think we might have a riot. And you need a shower. You'll feel better afterwards."
He kissed her cheek and took the quickest shower in history. When he got back to his room, his towel draped over him, Clary was still inside, fluffing the pillows, the bed made. Jace rolled his eyes; no matter where she was, Clary couldn't help but clean.
"Are you delaying going downstairs because you don't want to see my Dad?"
She blushed and he pulled his boxers up before taking her in his arms and kissing her neck. "You shouldn't be embarrassed. He cares about you like a daughter. "
"I'm pretty sure it's embarrassing no matter how you see it. So, you have to be with me, so I can hide behind you, and he can't look at me."
Jace chuckled, as he finished dressing up, and Clary sat on the edge of the bed, looking at the papers that made Celine a Wayland.
"You were right, nothing can top that."
"You know…if Celine asks questions about her name change…I don't want you to feel obligated into anything. Okay?"
"What do you mean?"
She shrugged, getting up with a smile and took his hand as she opened the door, "I mean, it's not because she'll start asking questions that I expect you to do the same. If it comes, it shouldn't be because she's asking questions."
.~°~. .~°~. .~°~.
They went back to New York with Magnus and Karl, so they could celebrate the New Year there with the Chos. Celine was over the moon to spend five whole days with Jin; from sunrise to sunset they were joined at the hip, speaking a strange mix of English and Cantonese.
Clary had treated the Chos with the same courtesy they had shown her when she came to Hong Kong. She showed them around to the most famous and touristy places, and most importantly, she took them to Time Square for the iconic ball drop.
Jace didn't spend much time with them and actually missed the ball drop, though he made it up to Celine by spending the next day with her and her friend. But he did work a lot with Jamie and Roxanne. Not that either complained.
Still, he noticed, once they were back in Seattle, that Jamie was no longer running with Clary in the morning. Santiago let him know that Clary was running on her own now. And Jamie stopped dropping by every now and then. And he was certainly not going to complain about that.
Jamie had the same perfect work ethic he always had, taking it on himself to mentor the intern as much as Jace. And Roxanne was good. In fact, Jace could easily see himself giving her a position with high responsibilities in the future. Aline had found herself someone to shadow her in New York, and after a couple of visits there over the first two weeks of January, Jace was confident in the man Aline had found.
Overall, this new year coming, Jace was feeling the happiest he had ever been. Work was going well, home was going well, life was good. Celine had told him that she made a friend on the first day at her new school, and he saw the aftermath of that friendship when one morning he had the surprise of Celine sporting bangs at the breakfast table. Just like her friend.
"Oh? You cut your hair?" Jace asked, looking with surprise at this new 'do as he drank his coffee.
Celine smiled brightly as she stuck a spoonful of oatmeal and berries in her mouth and she told him,
"Mama took me to the salon yesterday. Just like in the movies."
"Don't speak with your mouth full," Clary admonished, and Jace glanced in her direction, wondering why Clary didn't tell him about their daughter getting her hair cut. She smiled, shrugging, and his eyes went to Clary's hair, trying to see if she had cut her hair as well. Celine was speaking about her friend, and how they had the same haircut now, but Jace was barely tying attention, his eyes lost in space. He liked Clary with her long hair, and he liked it even more than not many people got to see that. He wished she would never cut it or let it down in public.
Clary and he had come to a compromise when it came to Celine's education: she kept going to a normal school, but she also had a private tutor in the afternoon, teaching her all the things she wanted to learn about. Jace also had a Cantonese tutor come to their place, and he learned that Clary had found a piano instructor for their daughter.
As for Clary, despite the fact that Jace told her repeatedly that she could just stay home, she had found a small and unknown association to work with. He knew Valentine tried a couple of times to get her to work with more high-end people, but Clary, being stubborn as she was, insisted on doing this on her own. And since Valentine always propositioned politicians, Jace was perfectly happy with her decision.
She also spent some time with Thomas, and Jace couldn't help but think that it would be the cherry on top to have Clary replace Thomas. In fact, he was pretty sure that Thomas knew that Jace would like nothing more than to replace him with Clary, but it wasn't an option.
It was now the middle of January and Jace had been working around the clock. It was nothing new, January and February had always been very busy months. And the thing that kept him going this time, wasn't the satisfaction of knowing he did better than anyone else but the sweet thought of spending two whole days with Clary at the end of the month.
It was a Saturday morning, and he groaned as he woke up, knowing that he had a couple of calls to make throughout the day. Saturdays were always odd to him because they were his quietest days. After all, it was the only day that was actually a weekend day wherever on the globe.
As he rolled on the side, trying to cash in a few more minutes of sleep, he had the good surprise of finding Clary still in bed, and without thinking, he moved closer to her, cuddling against her and forgetting all about work. This was the first time since Washington that he got to wake up with Clary by his side, and he wasn't going to pass the occasion to appreciate the feel of her.
Jace watched Clary with amusement, feeling a bit jealous that she fell asleep so easily. He always needed to be knackered to fall into Morpheus's arms so quickly. She was laying, facing him, having given him the most beautiful of birthdays. Presents had stopped having a meaning to him because he could buy anything he wanted. And yet, she gave him this wonderful experience he would never forget.
His hand was still on her face as he thought back on the evening, and how strangely satisfying it was to see his family include Clary as if she was already one of theirs. He had no doubts that Alec had probably given his own analysis of their relationship to their parents, and that Celine and Michael just wanted Jace to feel comfortable enough to bring his girlfriend home again.
He felt bad that she was so self-conscious about lying to his parents, but he wasn't. In fact, he wished he wasn't lying, he wished she was really his girlfriend, not just for the show. He wanted to make her feel like he did, and…to take away the shadows of her past.
He was about to remove his hand to let her sleep in peace, when she mumbled in her slumber, "You're warm."
He smiled to himself, scooching closer to her and taking her in his arms. He smelled the faint smell of coconut in her hair and simply appreciated having her in his arms for the sake of it, not because of the media, not because she was playing a role, but because he was just a man in love with a woman.
He kissed her forehead, and she snuggled against his chest as he thought of ways he could get out of the contract, without losing her. He didn't think she shared his feelings, which meant that if he came clean, she would break the contract and disappear from his life. And this was an option he wanted to avoid at all costs.
He was lost in his thoughts, trying to find a viable solution, when she spoke again, "My carrot can beat your…and anyway…that's what I said!…I know…broccoli is fair…"
He stifled a laugh, completely lost in the lack of sense she was making, and she moved against him, making him suddenly all too aware of her womanly presence next to him and making him realise, no matter what, he would have to make sure she loved him before he ever tried to be intimate with her, or she would use the contract against him.
He hummed in pleasure, holding her close against him as he hid his nose in her hair, and that's when it hit him. It was almost nine, and Clary was still in bed. It didn't make sense, especially knowing that for the first time since they moved in together, he had come home to find Clary already sleeping in bed, cuddling the teddy bear his father had given her.
He lifted himself abruptly, supporting his weight on his hand so he could look at her, as he called out to her with panic, "Clary?"
He saw her frown, her eyes still closed, the bear still in her hands as she was laying in the foetal position, and she shimmied, whining with a sleepy voice, "Come back. It's cold."
He took her back in his arms, making sure to touch her skin to check if she was feverish. "Are you okay, babe?"
She shrugged, still not opening her eyes, and he insisted, "Are you sick? Do you want me to call a doctor?"
She shook her head, saying in barely a whisper, "I already went to see the doctor yesterday afternoon."
"What? Why? Why didn't you tell me?!" He exclaimed, sitting back up so he could see her face, but all she did was grimace, reaching for the cover to replace it properly over her.
"I'm telling you now. I only went to see Dr Meyer, stop panicking."
Jace frowned, feeling that this name was familiar, but he couldn't place it and finally, Clary opened her eyes and looked at him, enlightening him.
"He works with your Dad."
Jace blinked, his whole world crumbling. This couldn't be happening. They always had been very careful to use condoms, and there had never been a leak. And the only time they were unprotected, he never finished. Two drops of precum couldn't get her pregnant, could they?
Clary was still looking at him as his face hardened, but she reassured him before he could ask the question, "It's not what you think. I thought I was, but Dr Meyer assured me that it was just a false alarm. I guess I was a bit stressed."
"Thank fuck," Jace let out with relief, falling back on the bed. He couldn't deal with another kid. He rolled to kiss her before getting out of bed and using the loo, thinking of what would have happened if she had been pregnant.
He knew that whatever choice Clary would make, he would have to go with it. So…what if she had been pregnant and wanted to keep the baby? Would it be so bad? He would get to experience all the things he had missed with Celine. She would get to experience a normal pregnancy. He'd get to do all the things Magnus did for his daughter: holding Clary's hand, cutting the cord, giving the first bath…
But then again, he barely had time for Celine who was already grown and who was more mature than kids her age. He would certainly not have time for an actual baby. And anyway, Clary didn't want kids. It was a moot point thinking of what-ifs. Unless…
Unless this pregnancy scare had Clary rethink her stance about children. Maybe she was disappointed that she wasn't pregnant. Maybe this little scare made her realise that she did want more children after all. And if she told him she wanted kids, what was he going to do?
He was warming up the shower when Clary came in to wash her face, her sullen mood suddenly gone. She briefly kissed his lips and stood in front of the sink when Jace hugged her from behind, looking at the reflection in the mirror.
"Babe…"
"It was just a false alarm, Jace. And for once, I wanted to be lazy. I think I'm allowed to be lazy once in a while."
"You can be lazy every single day," he assured her, hiding his nose in her neck, but keeping his eyes on their reflection as he put his hands on her empty stomach. "I just wanted to make sure that we were still on the same page."
She locked her eyes with his before undoing his human cage and turning to actually look at him. "Yes. It's still the best course of action for the three of us."
.~°~. .~°~. .~°~.
đź’šYour thoughts and opinions are always welcomedđź’š
đź’š So, the situation has been cleared up, and to make it crystal clear, Clary never felt that Jace forced himself on her. She said a couple of times in the previous story that she knew that drunk or sober, Jace would always stop, even if she didn't say an explicit no. And as Michael said, she's the only one who can actually tell what it was.
💚 And there is this hint (which I don't think is subtle) that she dropped… Hope you caught it.
đź’šNow question time,
1. Okay, so now we know a bit more about Clary's presents to Jace, and as Michael said, it was something that really came from her heart.
2. What did you think of Michael in this chapter?
3. And well Jace is happy, the happiest he's ever been? What do you think about it?
4. And how do you feel about Jamie's sudden absence in Clary's life?
5. And what do you think about that last scene and Jace's feelings concerning it?
6. As per usual, what was your favourite part? Mine was Jace's breakdown in Clary's arms. I'm a sucker for angst. Haha
7. And what do you think will happen next?
đź’š Cassandra Clare owns the names of the characters from the Mortal Instruments franchise, everything else is mine.
Love, Minađź’šđź’šđź’š