Note: This is a long Chapter because it's a new group and I want everyone to talk. Sorry.
Leah and I were having tacos and margaritas when everyone came into the house for group.
"Hey guys," I said.
"What the hell," said Paul. "You yell at me when I have a beer, and Leah gets a fucking margarita?"
"I am teaching Leah to drink responsibly," I said. "You are a lost cause."
"Ha ha," said Leah.
"So what is the age limit on the margaritas?" asked Jacob.
"Sixteen is kind of pushing it," I said. "And y'all have to run home. I don't want you bumping your heads on something."
"Why can't I have one?" asked Sam.
"Sweetie, I think it's gonna screw up your meds."
"So basically Leah's your favorite," said Jacob.
"Bout time I'm somebody's favorite," said Leah.
"Leah!" said Sam.
"I'm telling your mom," said Jacob. "No, I am telling Charlie."
"Oh please do," I said. "Tell a cop that you went to your therapist house for an anger management session and you saw your wolf sister drinking a margarita, and you threw a fit cause the therapist wouldn't give one to you, then ask him if you can date Bella instead of Edward. Tell me how that works out."
Sam smiled and Paul just died laughing.
"Okay we are still waiting for one more."
Just then the doorbell rang, and I went to get it.
"Hi Rose," I said.
"Pack of wolves and I am the only vampire," she said.
"But you came."
"Well, I actually missed it while you were sick."
"So it's helping," I said.
She shrugged and walked in. Shutting the door, I followed her.
"Evening Leah," said Rose.
"Hi," said Leah.
"Enjoying your stay?"
"Actually yeah. It's been nice. Last night Sisi and I watched Breakfast at Tiffany's. It came on AMC."
"I love that movie."
"Me too."
"You're having slumber parties with the vampires, Leah?" sneered Jacob.
"I'm a hybrid you, moron!" I snapped at him. "If Leah enjoys my presence more than yours, whose fault is that?"
Jacob looked down.
"Everyone is here," I said. "Let's get to work." I led them into the therapy room, and took a seat in my chair. Everyone else grabbed a seat, and Leah and Rose actually sat on the couch together. "So we have met for a few weeks now and I want to start off with what I say every session. Anger is a natural emotion and it's a good emotion. Every single one of us know who Victoria is, and that she is trying to kill people. If we weren't angry about that, if we were happy, or sad, or terrified, or whatever, we couldn't stop her. So anger is a tool to help us accomplish things, but when we use it incorrectly, then it can be destructive. Thoughts?"
"Well," said Roselie, "I guess what is bothering me is I am the only vampire here. And I don't mean that in a prejudiced way, but all of my siblings and my parents are all vampires and it doesn't make them angry. It makes them sad, or like with Emmett he thinks he's superman. But I'm angry. I look at Alice, and I see how sweet she is and how happy she is and just how great she is with Bella and I try, but I am angry and I don't know why."
"Well, I am sure the werewolves can relate to this," I said. "Because there was a werewolf who phased when he was fifteen years old, his dad died, his whole life got turned upside down, and he bounces up and down telling jokes and will not shut up."
"Seth," said Leah.
"Yep. He thinks he is a superhero and he has his band of brothers around him. And if his mom would let him drop out high school so he could hunt vampires all day nothing would make him happier."
Rosalie laughed.
"We process what happens to us based on our situation. Seth was probably feeling awkward and alone and he turned and now he thinks he like wonder wolf. Alice was miserable as a human. She was in an asylum put there by her family, alone, unloved, and tortured. Who would want to go back to that? But you had a great life, and someone took it from you, its okay to be angry."
Sam took a deep breath. "I think my anger may have turned into depression." He sighed. "I don't know what my problem is anymore."
"Start with some basics," I said. "Do you know that anger is okay?"
Sighing, he said, "If I get angry, I lose control, and I hurt people."
"So the answer is to never get angry, just bottle it all up inside?"
"It's better to hurt myself than others."
"No it's not. Cause you're still hurting someone. The fact that it's you and your consenting to it, doesn't make it better. It's best that no one gets hurt at all."
"I can't do that."
"Yes you can. That's why you're here, right? To learn how to manage your pain without getting so angry you hurt someone or yourself. You'll get there. I'll help you."
"Sam," said Paul. "Man, you're keeping it all inside, and now you're talking about offing yourself. Do you think that if you lost your shit the pack won't know what to do? Cause you got like eleven people who are asking you 'how do we kill a vampire?' 'how do we phase out?' 'how do we imprint?' Jared and I know what we are doing. You want Jared to be Alpha for a few weeks and just let you relax?"
Sam looked at me, "What do you think?"
"I think reducing your stress level is a step in the right direction. But only you can make this decision."
"I'll talk to Jared," said Sam. "See if he's up for it."
"If he's not, I'll do it," said Jacob. "You're gonna get sick, man."
Sam nodded, and I smiled at him for taking care of himself.
"Anyone else want to go?" I said.
"We have a choice?" asked Jacob.
"No I was being polite."
"I'll go," said Leah. "Anger is just a natural response for me, even when I was human. People don't like it. People always liked Emily better than me, but I really don't care. When I get angry it's just kind of like, I don't know, I need a buffer between me and people and anger works."
"So it's a defense mechanism," I said. "Sort of a wall to keep people away."
"Yeah."
"What happens when people get close?"
"I get hurt."
"All the time?"
"My dad didn't hurt me, but he's gone."
"Is there someone you could go to? One person you could let in, that you knew wouldn't hurt you?"
She thought for a minute. "Maybe you."
I smiled. "Not a clinician."
"Seth."
"Yeah, try to do something with Seth this week. Just see what happens."
Leah nodded.
"Jake, how are you doing?"
He shrugged.
"This is a verbal exercise," I said.
"I've been better," he said.
"What's wrong?"
"I've been trying to figure out why Bella wants to be with the vampire and not with me, and I think I came up with a solution."
"Oh good."
"When I like phased, it did something to me. Maybe cause I am more werewolf than normal, but basically, I'm not me anymore. She calls it "her Jacob" and "Sams Jacob". Basically, I have a different personality now, and she doesn't want me anymore."
No one said anything for a minute, as I tried to figure out how to respond to that.
"Jacob, do you remember when I turned into a werewolf, about five days ago?"
"Yeah."
"The Cullens kept trying to break the treaty to come see me and my mom kept trying to call and you guys weren't letting them and I got pissed."
"Yeah."
"Well, imagine my mom didn't call, and my cousins didn't come see me, and I woke up and found out they just kinda dumped me on Emily's doorstep. That would be pretty shitty of them right?"
"Yeah."
"I mean I talk to my mom every week if not every day, and the Cullens and I have gone back since Carlisle rescued us. It's been more than therapy. We have gone on trips, went hunting, went shopping, I helped with the treaty, lots of stuff happened. And if they threw that all away cause I was a werewolf then that's their problem right? Not mine."
"Yeah."
"Bella is going through some stuff. But if she wants to treat you differently or throw the whole relationship away because you turned into a werewolf, then that's on her, not on you."
"Thank God someone said that to him," said Leah.
"I'll think about it," said Jacob.
I turned to Paul and grinned. "Last but certainly not least."
"My dad had a violent temper. He used to hit my mom before he left. I get it from him. I never hurt anybody. You know a couple of fights at school, maybe a suspension or two, but nothing serious. When I started phasing, I didn't care I would just let it out when I wanted to. Then Emily got hurt, and I realized I had to be careful. Now that I am with Rachel I feel a little better, but its like a volcano sometimes. I don't know if I will ever control it."
"Did he ever hit you?" asked Roselie.
"Sometimes," Paul whispered.
"What's his name?"
"Ben Lahote."
"I thought you didn't kill humans," said Sam.
"We don't, but we have friends who do," said Rosalie.
"You'll never find him. I've looked," said Paul.
"Vampires are… unconventional," I said. "It's very rare we can't find someone. The question is not can we do anything. The question is would it help if we did something."
Paul thought a minute. "I just want to leave it alone."
"Okay, that's fine," I said, "just a thought."
"I'm scared I am gonna turn into him," said Paul.
"I don't know what possessed your dad to do something like that. But clearly he never learned self control or respect for others. You are learning that. If you were like him, you would use the fact that you were a wolf to terrorize others, but you're not. You're different from your father Paul."
He nodded, but didn't say anything.
"We are a little over," I said, "so can we stop here tonight and pick it up next week, provided I'm sane?"
They all laughed, and went to pack up.