Bella never had much to her name. When she moved back to Forks, she had packed up pretty much everything that she considered "hers", and it wasn't a lot. Thanks to the Cullens, she now owned way more things than she ever had before.
But there were certain things, items that were too large for a plane, that remained in Phoenix. Pieces of furniture. Boxes of worthless mementos. Sentimental things. Bella didn't care much for most of these things. At this point, they were emblematic of a bygone era of her life. Charlie, on the other hand, cared a great deal. Ever since the "Christmas episode" (as he liked to refer to it), he was obsessed with taking back all evidence of Bella from his ex-wife. Before Renee and Phil left town, he made a point to them that he would be coming down to Phoenix to collect the rest of her things.
"That stuff doesn't have any power over me, dad," Bella had said to him.
She was not interested in going back to Phil's house ever again, but Charlie had his mind made up. He wanted this to send a message to them. Bella could tell this was him trying to make up for his past inaction, and she knew there was no way she could convince him otherwise. In the end, she didn't care one way or another, so she gave in, especially after he allowed her to bring Jacob along for the trip.
They left early on Wednesday morning, before sunrise. Bella was dreading the 24-hour-long drive that Charlie was intent on making in one go; he had done it many times before, and he would do it again.
Jacob was just thrilled to be taking an extended break from running patrols. The way he talked made being a werewolf sound like a full-time job. She wondered how he was able to get anything done outside of school and patrolling. Jake didn't have a lot of time left to be a normal person anymore. Neither did Bella, if she was being honest.
Bella had assumed that one of the Cullens would insist on tailing them during the trip, but Rosalie made it clear that she trusted Jacob to keep her safe. Charlie definitely trusted Jacob.
They were making the journey in a small rental truck. Bella's truck could've fit everything they were intending to pick up, but none of them trusted it to make a 3000 mile round trip. It felt a bit like moving out of the house to go off to college, but in reverse. Or sideways. She wasn't sure.
For the first few hours of the trip, Bella and Jacob both slept. Deeply. Jacob was exhausted from his grueling schedule, but Bella wasn't sure why she was suddenly so tired. Her sleep schedule evaded her own understanding these days. She had stopped forcing herself to go to sleep every night because it appeared that her body didn't need a normal eight hours every night anymore. She could go multiple days without feeling true exhaustion, and then she would get a good night's sleep and be fully recharged. Or, sometimes, just a two-hour nap. Or more, or less. Inconsistent was the beat that her body marched to.
She theorized that it was boredom that drove her to sleep. The sun was not yet up, Charlie was listening to some monotone morning radio show, and she was sitting next to Jacob in the backseat, leaning on his shoulder. He was so warm and comfortable, like an old blanket. Sleep came easily.
When Bella awoke, the sun was peeking over the horizon, and her stomach was growling fiercely.
"Sounds like it's time for breakfast," said Charlie, briefly looking over his shoulder at the two of them.
"Oh, that would be amazing," said Jacob, smacking his lips together, the taste of sleep heavy on his tongue.
Charlie spotted a sign advertising an IHOP at the next exit. They pulled off the interstate into an unassuming suburban area somewhere outside Portland. It was one of those familiar-unfamiliar, liminal places that only exists on road trips, the everyman's anywhere.
While Jacob ordered a full breakfast spread, Bella got french toast, and Charlie got an omelette and a coffee. There were a few other people in the restaurant, and Bella spent some time thinking through all the reasons why they would be awake at this hour. Once they were served, Jacob devoured his food without uttering a word.
The three of them drifted through their breakfast experience like aliens visiting a distant planet. Normalcy only returned once they were back on the road.
The morning sun shone brightly as they traveled further and further south. They stopped for lunch at a Dairy Queen somewhere in Nevada; Charlie wished to treat himself to some ice cream as the temperature grew hotter the further they drove. By the time they reached Arizona that evening, Charlie had the AC on blast. Bella could feel the world warming up around her, but the temperature was no more than surface level for her.
Their Airbnb was a small house a few blocks away from Renee and Phil's place. Close, but not too close. They had left Forks early in the morning, and they had arrived in Phoenix early in the morning.
"Now, I want y'all to go straight to bed," said Charlie, unlocking the front door. "You can sleep in tomorrow, but we gotta get to work when you get up."
Bella was absolutely not tired at all, but she knew Jacob would enjoy the rest.
"Sure thing, pops," she said, grabbing her backpack and her pillow and heading inside.
It was a two-bedroom place, so she and Jake would be sharing a room. Luckily, there were two twin beds. This was obviously a room made for tweens, but they would gladly take what they got.
Bella opened up the curtains to find a familiar view of the sleeping city laid out before her. A suburban desert rising into skyscrapers and mountains in the distance. Flat, dry. So much larger than Forks.
Jacob was mesmerized. Sure, he had been to Seattle and Portland, but that was about as far as he had gotten. Billy didn't like to travel very far with him when he was younger.
"So this is where you used to live. Where you grew up, I guess," he said, unable to take his eyes away from the cityscape.
"Well, I technically grew up in California, and then we moved here, but yeah. I spent the majority of my life in Phoenix." Bella unzipped her bag to search for her pajamas. "It's… an interesting place. Can't say I have much love for it."
"I wouldn't either, if I were you." He yawned. "But… it's interesting. Different. From what I'm used to."
"Yeah, I mean, Washington's really… green. Full of life."
Full of magic, she wanted to say, but she didn't.
"There's a different kind of life down here," he said and then yawned again. "God, I'm worn out from just sitting in a truck all day. Where's all that wolfy energy gone?"
"Get some rest, Jake. You deserve it."
"Damn right I do!"
Bella laughed as she stepped into the bathroom to change clothes. As she pulled off the t-shirt she had been wearing, she caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror.
The last time you were here, you were a different person, she thought, staring at herself. And that's for the better.
-X-
Renee and Phil were not happy to have them there, nor did they provide any modicum of assistance. If anything, Renee presented herself as a hindrance rather than a help. Phil stayed out of their way and kept his mouth shut; not only was he scared of Jacob, but he was also afraid of Charlie. Bella had learned that her father had threatened to smack the two of them with the heavy hand of the law, and that was probably keeping her step-dad in line.
But Renee was not afraid of Charlie or Jacob and she would make this petty furniture retrieval into an even pettier affair.
Bella had left more behind than she remembered, but most of what remained in her old bedroom were things that she didn't want and no longer cared for: old posters of bands she didn't listen to anymore, childish furniture that had never been upgraded as she grew, and a handful of old, ratty clothes that she never wore.
The minute they passed through the doorway into her old room, Renee was telling them what they couldn't take.
"The bed stays," she said, narrowing her eyes at them.
Charlie took one look at the worn out twin bed that was definitely designed for someone much younger than Bella, and said, "Okay, cool."
Charlie started directing the two teens to pick up things and take them out. Renee had stored the few boxes of Bella's childhood things that she had held onto in her closet, and they were moving those out first. The boxes were not a point of contention. Bella couldn't decide if her mother's complete disregard for her daughter's childhood was surprising or not.
Arguments were had over menial items like chairs and bedside tables, but the biggest fight was fought over Bella's old TV. The fact that she had even had a TV growing up was amazing, but it was not something she desperately wanted back. It was an old, tiny CRT with a built-in VHS player. She could remember watching the first Toy Story on it.
"I paid for that! It's mine," said Renee.
She didn't pay for it. It was a hand-me-down from her own mother. What she did pay for was a bigger, newer TV, and instead of tossing the old one, she just threw it in Bella's room to keep her entertained. Bella did not deign to mention this because she thought that arguing with her mother was a waste of time and energy.
Charlie threw his hands in the air and walked out of the tiny, wood-paneled bedroom. "It's late. We'll deal with the rest of this shit tomorrow. C'mon, kids. Let's go get dinner."
After they left the house, Bella and Jacob realized that either of them had hardly spoken a word while they were inside.
Charlie cut on the radio and started pulling out of the driveway.
"Anywhere specific you wanna eat at, Bells? You lived here."
"Uh…" Bella scratched her chin. There were definitely a few local food joints that she used to frequent, but none of them were necessarily reputable establishments. "If I remember correctly, there's a pretty good taqueria near here…"
She sat up and started directing Charlie street by street, block by block. They eventually pulled into the parking lot of a small restaurant with a large outdoor seating area. They ordered and were served promptly, their food on styrofoam plates. Jacob, starving, dug in as soon as he sat down.
"Woah, this is so much better than that place in Forks!" he said through a mouthful of beans.
"Yeah, I mean, I don't exactly expect quality Mexican food in Washington state," said Bella, laughing. "Wipe your mouth, idiot."
They returned home, but the night was still quite young. As Charlie tried to catch up on sports, Jacob and Bella lazed around upstairs, trying to find some way to pass the time. To her surprise, Bella found herself craving more food—sweets, to be specific. Her appetite had been steadily waning, so this was an unusual experience. She decided to act on it, knowing there was a 7/11 just down the street.
"Dad, we're going for a walk!" she called to Charlie as she pulled Jake out of the house. "Text me if you want anything from the store!"
Charlie didn't have time to say much anything other than, "Be careful!"
Jacob followed Bella. She walked with confidence; she knew this area. Forks might have been her true home, but she had grown up in Phoenix, in this suburban desert. The convenience store was just a few blocks down from their Airbnb. As they walked, she texted her dad to ask if he wanted any snacks. He responded "barbecue lays, reeses cups, and a diet dr pepper". Typical Charlie.
The sun had sunk below the horizon, casting the sky in a calm, pinkish hue. The moon was coming up in the eastern sky, ready to take its place among the stars. As it had not yet gotten dark, the glow of the 7/11 was not yet overbearing, and instead contrasted nicely with the twilight hour.
Bella and Jacob parted ways when they entered, the latter eyeing the chip aisle and the former going straight for the beverages. Bella walked slowly past the cases of alcoholic beverages, feeling the weight of her fake ID in her back pocket. She could very easily use it. Sneaking the drinks past Charlie wouldn't be a huge problem. She could just hide the extra bag behind her back.
Though the temptation was strong, she shook her head and muttered, "no" to herself under her breath. She instead went for the sodas, grabbing a Diet Dr Pepper for Charlie, and a Cherry Pepsi for herself. She expertly held both bottles in one hand, the caps sitting between her knuckles, dangling from her fist like carbonated Wolverine claws. When she turned around to head for the candy aisle, she stopped in her tracks.
Bella had come face to face with genuine monsters in the past few months, but seeing Chase scared her more than any vampire or ghoul ever had. Many would describe this kind of encounter as "seeing a ghost" from one's past, but it was Bella who felt like the ghost in the scenario, resurrected from the dead to look upon the world of the living.
Chase was also now eyeing the cases of booze, fingers on her chin. Beside her was Diego, who still dressed horribly, wearing an oversized hoodie with the logo of some online video game on it and huge jorts that hung below his knees. Chase, though, looked… good. She was dressed sharper than she ever had been when she was with Bella. Her blonde hair was styled, put up into a messy pompadour not unlike how Edward often styled his hair. She looked taller than Bella remembered. Maybe it was the boots she had on, or maybe Bella just didn't remember things from that time in her life with any accuracy.
Chase's eyes drifted away from the case, catching sight of someone in her peripheral. When she spotted Bella's familiar face, she turned to face her, her expression at first one of shock and surprise which then melted into that old, greasy smile.
"As I live and breath! Isabella Swan?"
Chase knew she hated to be called that. Bella tried to straighten her posture in response.
"Yep!" She tried to force a laugh. "It's me."
Chase laughed big and loud, tossing her head back and putting her hands on her hips. "I haven't seen you in ages!"
"Yeah, it's been… what? A little over a year, I guess."
Bella's failed suicide attempt had ocurred a week after the start of her senior year. Everything going wrong in her personal life had come to a head at the end of the summer. Phil was treating her worse than ever, and Renee was as useless as she always had been. Bella had partied the summer away, spending every second of her free time with Chase. Drinking her life away. When school started, she was immediately overwhelmed by all the work that was getting dumped on her, and the house of cards she had built for herself to live in caved in on top of her. Her fragile world crashed and burned. Everything was so stressful: her home life, her schoolwork, her relationship with Chase.
Bella had truly believed that she would never be happy. Living felt like hell. She decided to give up.
Of course, it didn't work out. She was still standing there in 7/11, dead for unrelated reasons.
After she got out of the hospital, she started to focus on her studies. She went to a few unpleasant therapy sessions and got put on anxiety medication. She went to less and less parties and drank less and less until she stopped completely, and this became the subject of an argument with Chase that led to their breakup in early February.
"You're no fun anymore," Chase had said, as if that was a valid reason,
Bella took it all in stride. She was starting to view Chase as the root of all evil, whether that was the truth or not. It was easier to live with herself when she could shove all the blame on someone else.
"How's Spoons? Or was it Knives?" Chase grinned, overly proud of her bad joke.
"Forks is fine. I really like it, honestly."
"Well, that's good to hear. I was hoping you weren't stuck suffering in the middle of nowhere up north. So, what do people do for fun up there? Lots of hiking, I'd assume."
"I've gone hiking a bit, yeah," said Bella, thinking about all the time Rosalie had carried her up a mountain at superspeed.
"Ooh, how very crunchy of you." Chase shifted her weight from one foot to another, hands still on her hips, her eyes moving to look at someone behind Bella. "Well, who's this tall glass of water?"
It was, of course, Jacob. He had no idea who Chase was, but he was looking at her with a ferocity in his eyes. Bella reached up and put a hand on his chest as a warning to not get too worked up.
"This is Jacob. We've been friends since we were kids. I'm sure I talked about him at one point or another. Jake, this is Chase."
Chase smiled and waved. Jacob softened his gaze and nodded his head towards her.
"Nice to meet you, Jakey."
"Likewise."
Chase, ever posturing, wiggled her shoulders and pointed her thumb at the cases of booze. "Well, Big D and I were just picking up some beer for a party we're throwing tomorrow night. Since you're in town, you should definitely come by! That is, if your mom will let you come."
"Oh, I'm not staying with mom."
Chase tilted her head down, looking at Bella from under her brow. "Then that shouldn't be a problem, should it?"
Bella smiled, though she was still unsteady. "Nope, it won't. Usual time, usual place, I assume?"
"Yep. I actually moved in with ol' Big D here after I graduated, so it's my place now too."
"Spectacular. I'm sure this means big things for you."
"Sure does." Chase opened one of the doors and pulled out a huge case of beer. "Well, I'll see you tomorrow night! Party on, babe."
She and Diego waved as they turned and headed towards the register. Bella spun to face Jacob and put a hand on his shoulder.
"So that was my ex," she said quietly.
"I thought so. Are we really going to her party tomorrow?"
"Oh, fuck yes we are. I can't just not show up."
"I mean, we totally could."
Bella walked past Jacob, intent on getting the rest of her snacks. She passed through the chips aisle to grab Charlie's barbecue Lays and nabbed a small bag of Doritos for herself before turning down the candy aisle.
"No, we cannot. I don't know how to impress this upon you, but—" Bella looked over the rack of candy to see if Chase was still in the store. She spotted her at the register; the cashier didn't even ID her. "—Chase and Diego are kind of a big deal out here."
"You mean that guy she kept calling Big D?" Jacob asked, trying to keep his voice down and stifle his laughter.
"He calls himself that, embarrassingly enough. That's beside the point. They kinda run the underground social scene out here."
"What? The underground social scene of Phoenix suburbia? Wow, what power they must wield." Jacob waved his hands in a mocking manner. "Bella, you've literally come face to face with the vampire government and you're scared of these idiots?"
"I'm not scared of them! I just…" Bella bit her lip, struggling to find the proper words. "I want to show them up. I want to go to that party and show everyone that I… I don't need them."
"By thinking that you need to go to this party, you are proving that you do, in fact, need them."
Chase and Diego left the store. Bella grabbed candy for herself and her father and led Jacob to the register. They checked out in silence and left the store. The night had crept across the sky while they were shopping.
"I'm not saying this right. I just… I left a weird impression behind here. This is probably my last chance to change it. I don't want all my old 'friends' to have this final impression of me as some depressed, boring bitch. I was a bit of a robot after I…" Bella usually didn't mind directly talking about her suicide attempt, but she wasn't sure if it would make Jacob uncomfortable or not, so she just gestured vaguely instead. "Y'know… Anyways, I just want to show these people that I'm a well-adjusted individual now. I'm not some kind of zombie."
"I don't know if I would call you well-adjusted, and you are actually some kind of zombie," said Jacob.
"But you get what I mean!" she almost shouted, exasperated.
Jacob chuckled. "I guess I do. You wanna show them that you can still party, I guess?"
"Exactly! I wanna show them that moving to Forks hasn't made me dull or anything. I wanna show them that I'm way better now than I was when I was living here!"
"Right, right. I get it now."
While Jacob thought that this was bordering on reckless behavior, he was curious to see what Bella's old "friends" were like, and he was confident in his ability to keep her grounded.
Bella tossed Charlie's snacks in his lap as they entered the house, and she told him a string of half-truths: she had run into an old friend at the store, said friend had invited her to hang out tomorrow night, Bella wanted to go catch up with old friends. Charlie was not stupid, but he also couldn't read minds (unlike some people they knew). He easily agreed to let her go out on Friday night. After all, the likelihood of Bella ever returning to Phoenix after this was very low.
As they were starting to get tired, Bella was lying half-off the bed, hanging upside down, staring at her phone. Jacob watched her face scrunch up in frustration as her thumbs tapped rhythmically against the sides of the screen. Finally, she mumbled to herself, "No, I'm not gonna tell Rose. That's cool, right?"
Jacob blinked. "Are you asking me?"
"Yeah. I mean, if I tell Rose, she's gonna get mad at me, and possibly jealous. This is the kinda stuff she doesn't like, y'know? And you'll be with me anyways."
Jake's lips pressed into a thin line. "I mean… I think she'd understand."
Though she was hanging upside down, Jacob could tell that Bella was rolling her eyes at him. "You clearly haven't gotten to know Rosalie well enough."
"Don't you two trust each other?"
Bella let her arms fall to the floor. "Well… yeah, but…"
"There shouldn't be a 'but' there, Bells."
"But there is! Rose and I… We…" She struggled to find the right words. "We do trust each other, but we… don't."
"Make it make sense, babe."
Bella sighed loudly and let her body slide off the bed onto the floor. She used her feet to push herself over to where Jacob was sitting.
"Do you trust Edward? Like, one-hundred percent?" she asked.
"I guess I do," he said.
"Okay, that's not a straight answer either."
"I'm not straight," he said, grinning.
"Neither am I!" she shouted, slapping his thigh.
Jacob laughed. "Okay, okay. I get what you're trying to say, but I think you should be able to tell your girlfriend—no, your soulmate—that you're going to a party."
Bella grew solemn. "I just don't want her to get the wrong idea. I don't want her to think that I'm getting bad again. I feel like me and Edward both have made a lot of progress recently."
"You're calling your stay at the resort 'progress'?"
She sat up and glared at him.
"It's not a straight line, okay? And that wasn't bad. That was just… partying. College partying. That was drinking in a social setting with a large group of people."
"Still binge drinking bro."
"Yes, but I'm in fucking college, Jake. And it wasn't me and Edward sitting in his room staying up till 4AM doing shots because we feel bad, because that was a legit thing we used to do. I've even done worse than that, and I know that he has too. But we're better than that now! I can recognize the signs. I've learned how to stop myself."
Jacob put a hand on her shoulder. "And I'm proud of you. I might not know the full extent of… everything, but I know that you and him have been working on stuff. You both seem… better." He bit his lip. "But are you not telling her because you think going to this party is… bad?"
Bella didn't answer him right away. She didn't even look at him. She looked at her phone, which was laying face down on the floor next to the bed.
"No," she said. "It's not bad. I just want to make a point."
"Then tell her," he said, squeezing her shoulder.
She didn't say anything. Instead, she got up, picked up her phone, and fell onto the bed.
"I'm tired, man. I'm gonna go to sleep."
Jacob took a deep breath. "Yeah, me too."
As he walked out of the room to return to his own, he tapped out a quick text to Edward to let him know about the party.
-X-
Once again, Bella found herself in her former home, her mother looming over her like a monument to a bygone era. Bella felt herself drifting away from reality as Charlie and Renee resumed yesterday's argument about the TV. Jacob lingered away from the rest of them, on call whenever anything heavy needed to be carried outside. Charlie kept managing to find more things to claim—so much so that she wondered where it was going to go once they got home.
Despite her opposition to the trip, Bella did end up finding a decent amount of things she had left behind and actually wanted: some sentimental sundries from childhood trips, old toys that she had fond memories of, and a few loose articles of clothing that hadn't made it into her bags when she had initially left. She even found some scrapbooks that she had made as a child, and she had fun sitting in the back of the truck and flipping through them with Jake while her parents bickered with each other.
"Hey, that's you!" she said, pointing to a picture of her and Jacob covered in mud.
"That is me," he said, taking the old album from her. "And that's baby Seth!"
There was a photo of 3 year-old Bella with 4 year-old Leah and less-than-one-year-old Seth. He was being held by Sue, and Harry was hovering over all of them, his trademark wide smile spread across his face. Harry was known for smiling so bright and big that his eyes disappeared. His son had inherited that trait, while his daughter had held onto her mother's sharper features.
"They're really their parents' children," said Bella, leaning her chin on Jake's shoulder.
"Quite literally, yes."
"Oh, don't be a smartass. You know what I mean."
They finished up at the Dwyer house much earlier than the day before. As Charlie and Jacob loaded the last few boxes into the truck, Bella looked up at the house. It was an unimpressive two-floor, ranch-style dwelling. Some patches of the roofing had come off over the years; this was, admittedly, Bella's fault, as she used to climb out on the roof to get away from her mother and drink in peace.
When she had left this place back in August, she hadn't looked back. It had been less of a departure and more of a desperate escape. She all but ran out the door to the cab that was taking her to the airport, slamming the door and only looking ahead as the driver took her away. She didn't want to look back, didn't want to think about what leaving meant or what she was leaving behind.
Now, Bella took the time to look. Stare, even. She absorbed every little detail of the place, from the way that the screen door hung a little crooked to the twisted design of the rusting wrought-iron columns lining the front porch. She looked up to the window of the bathroom where she had lain bleeding out in a tub just over a year ago.
She took a deep breath that she didn't need and closed her eyes. She felt the stillness in her chest and, for the first time, it was comforting. She was able to relax. She was at peace.
Charlie clapped her on the shoulder, bringing her out of her introspective moment.
"Ready to go?" he asked.
Bella took one last look at the house, at her mother watching them through the kitchen window, at the place she had called her home for the longest portion of her life, and she smiled.
"Yeah, I'm ready to go."
-X-
Bella could walk to Diego's house from anywhere in Phoenix with her eyes closed. She had navigated to and from the place in every altered state of being, and she would never be able to forget where it was, no matter how much she had to drink. It was close enough to their Airbnb for her and Jacob to walk, but not so close that Charlie would hear the noise from the party.
Diego lived on a rather run down street where the other homes were all occupied by younger people who didn't mind the noise. It was prime party real estate and the rent was cheap. If Bella had stayed in Phoenix, she could've seen herself moving into a place like this.
Bella's arrival was marked by loud cheering as everyone in the place apparently knew her or at least knew of her. She seemed startled and a bit uncomfortable, but that familiar feeling of being celebrated took hold of her, and she relaxed. Jacob, on the other hand, was more out of his element than ever. He stood straight and stiff, his eyes darting back and forth, trying to take in the entire scene and analyze any potential threats. Bella pulled him through the crowd to the kitchen, where a giant water cooler that was definitely not full of water was sitting on the counter, surrounded by plastic handles and red solo cups. Bella poured Jake and herself drinks from the cooler, then picked up one of the handles of tequila and poured a little extra liquor into her cup.
"You don't trust my recipe?" Diego asked, sliding over to the two of them.
"Oh, I do, but I know what I like," she said, smirking.
"You really haven't changed at all, Hella Bella."
Jacob almost spit out his drink. "Hella Bella?"
Bella bit down on the rim of her cup. "Listen, Big D, just because you like your stupid old nickname doesn't mean I'm fond of mine."
"No no no, wait," said Jacob, barely containing his laughter. "Hella Bella?"
"She came up with it herself," said Diego, grinning.
"I did not! It was 100% Nick's idea!" she protested.
"That's not what I heard."
Diego slipped away before Bella could retort. She was left standing with her shoulders raised and her mouth agape, unspoken protest on her tongue. Jacob couldn't stop giggling.
"I'm definitely telling Edward about that," he said, reaching for his phone.
"Did you tell him about tonight?"
"Yeah, of course. It seemed like the kind of thing he'd wanna know."
Bella couldn't argue with that. "I guess I should've texted him too…"
"Did you tell Rosalie?"
"Hell no! Look, I get what you were trying to say last night, but I just… I trust her, and she trusts me, but she'd just get the wrong idea! I'm gonna tell her when we get back, I swear. It's just best to act first and ask for forgiveness later."
"Forgiveness?" Jake raised an eyebrow,
"No, not—! Listen, we're going to keep talking in circles if we don't let this drop. Just have a few drinks and loosen up."
Bella tilted her head back and downed the rest of her drink before refilling the cup with more punch and even more extra tequila. Jacob frowned into his own cup, but kept his mouth shut. He worried that if he continued pushing the subject, he would upset her more, and she would drink more as a result, so he decided to let it go.
After hanging out with Edward, Jacob had become more accustomed to both drinking and the typical party scene. He'd never been to a house party like this before, but it wasn't that different from the bonfire at the Park or the parties that the Cullens threw; the liquor was a lot cheaper, and he didn't really know any of these people, but that was about it. He stuck by Bella's side as she made conversation with old friends. She spoke vaguely about her current life in Forks and tried to steer the conversations in the other person's direction. Everyone was tipsy and happy to talk about themselves, so this always worked in her favor. People kept challenging Bella to reckless drinking games and dragging her off to take shots, so Jacob kept himself in check. He knew that he would have to be the responsible one tonight.
He kept a particularly close eye on Chase, who was sneakily eyeing Bella all night. He wasn't sure what her intent was, but he didn't like her, so he was on high alert whenever she came around. More often than not, she was the one feeding Bella shots and asking her to step outside and shotgun beers. Jacob had to say no for Bella a few times and force her to drink water.
Jacob stood in the kitchen with Bella, Chase, Diego, and some other guy whose name he couldn't be bothered to learn. He was having a half-hearted conversation with Diego about cars while Bella and Chase leaned against the opposite counter, standing a little too close together, having a conversation that Jake could just barely hear.
"So you're gone for good now?" Chase asked.
"I mean, yeah. I don't have much of a reason to come back here."
Chase's expression darkened. "Not even us?"
"That's not what I mean." Bella narrowed her eyes. "Why do you care now, anyways? You didn't give a shit about me last year."
"That was different."
"How?"
"You weren't… you."
That pressed a button. No one else would notice it, but Jacob saw something in Bella shift. Her posture changed, her shoulders pulled back, her fingers flexing, her knees starting to bend. He could've sworn that he felt the temperature drop. He could've sworn that he heard something—a low, quiet rumble, the beginnings of a deep growl. The hairs on the back of Jacob's neck stood on end.
But it came and went in the window of a few seconds. The atmosphere of the party did not change. Bella didn't do anything.
"I'm not 'me' now, Chase," said Bella, looking up at her from under her brow. "I don't know who you think 'I' am, but it's not the person standing in front of you right now."
Chase pursed her lips. "I can see that." She relaxed her stance. "But I'm not the person I was the last time you saw me either."
Bella laughed outright. "Are you trying to flirt with me or something? I have a girlfriend, and she would literally rip your head off if she was here right now."
Jacob was sure that statement was true.
Chase raised her hands in front of her chest in defeat. "Alright, Swan, you got me. A lady's gotta shoot her shot though."
"Why on earth would you even want me back?" Bella asked with genuine curiosity. "We did not end on a good note. I mean, you broke up with me."
Chase looked away from her.
"I can admit that I was… immature. I didn't really see much of a future for myself back then, y'know. I was living in the present, and I… didn't like your present."
"Yeah, me neither, fuckface."
"I know, I know! I'm an asshole. I just… I've really tried to work on myself since you left. That was a big low point for me, and I don't ever wanna hit that point again. Even if it's not you, I wanna be good to whoever I find in the future." She shoved her hands in her pockets. Her cocky demeanor was completely gone. "I'm… I'm really sorry, Bella. For everything. For even thinking I had a chance to get back with you. You deserve better, and I hope your new girl is way better than I was. Than I am."
Bella held her own arm, rubbing her thumb against the Cullen crest on her wrist. Then she let her hand fall to her side, and she pressed her fingers against the outline of her phone in her right pocket.
"She… she does."
Chase stepped around behind Bella."You don't have to accept my apology either, but you do have to do a shot with me!"
"Oh, fuck it, why not?"
Jacob let himself relax for the first time all night. Chase might be a shithead, but at least she didn't have any malicious intent. He watched the two of them do shots of vodka and gag at the taste of the horrendous cheap booze.
The night was still quite young, but Bella was thoroughly inebriated. Jacob accompanied her on a bathroom break as he needed to relieve himself as well after drinking nothing but beer and water for the past hour. He leaned against the wall across from the bathroom door, tapping his foot to the beat of the mediocre pop song that was playing in the living room. He pulled out his phone and sent a text to Edward telling him how much he would hate the playlist at this party.
The door flew open, slamming against the wall, and out came Bella.
"You good?" he asked her as she emerged from the bathroom, unsteady on her feet.
"Yeah, 'm good. Are you good? You don't look like you're havin' fun."
"I'm fine, I'm just trying to keep you on your feet, dude," he said, holding both of her shoulders. "You've had a lot."
"I'm super good," she slurred. "I just threw up, actually, so I'm really good."
He gave her a stern look. "That is the opposite of good."
"No, it's actually what good is. I feel, like, way better now."
"Drink water."
"I got it, I got it!" she waved her water cup in front of his face. "I'll go refill it."
"Okay. Go do that. I gotta piss."
Jacob let her go wander down the hallway to the kitchen while he stepped into the bathroom. It didn't smell bad, but it looked like it should. The toilet definitely hadn't been cleaned in at least a month, and there was a thin layer of grime on everything. He went about his business and, after washing his hands, he pulled out his phone to text Edward as he exited the bathroom.
He didn't realize that Bella had disappeared until he pocketed his phone. He didn't start panicking right away; this was a fairly small house, and she was probably just out of sight, but he didn't see her in the kitchen when he rounded the corner. Now he let himself worry a little. She wasn't in the living room either, and he was about to start checking the bedrooms when he caught a horrifyingly familiar scent on the wind.
There was a vampire here. A vampire he didn't recognize.
The pungent aroma of death rose above that of the sweaty humans and their alcoholic beverages. Jake followed his nose outside and found both Bella and the vampire in question standing by the far edge of the small, in-ground pool. Bella was talking to him as if she knew him. Jake rushed over to them.
"Bella, who is this?" he almost growled.
The vampire was a boy who, physically, could be no older than Bella. He had shaggy brown hair and held himself in a way that vaguely reminded Jacob of Edward.
"This is Nick," she said. "We went to high school together."
"You went to high school with a vampire?"
"Well, he wasn't one then…"
Nick laughed and his stance wavered. He had to adjust his foot position to stay upright. Clearly, he was intoxicated.
"What are you doing here?" Jacob asked, grabbing him by the front of his hoodie.
The shock of catching an unknown vampire had caused Jacob to sober up. He was done playing a passive role tonight.
"Relax, man, I'm just catching up with an old friend!" he said, raising his arms. "I heard Bella was gonna be here, so I came through."
Red eyes looked up at Jacob, partially hidden by Nick's mop of brown hair.
"You're a threat to these people," said Jacob, nodding his head towards the humans inside. "You need to leave right now."
"Nah, man, I wouldn't hurt my bros! But they do smell kinda nice…"
Jacob narrowed his eyes. "Leave. Now."
Nick pushed himself away from Jacob, stumbling backwards. He straightened his hoodie and brushed off his chest.
"I'll do what I damn well please, asshole. I don't even know who you are, or what you are. You're not a vampire, that's for sure."
Bella had begun to realize the gravity of the situation at hand, and she was now standing closer to Jacob's side, looking at Nick with wary eyes.
"What are you doing here, Nick?" she asked.
"Like I said, I came to see you."
"Yeah, but this is too weird to be a coincidence," she said, motioning between the two of them. "I've been dealing with too many vampires recently for this to not be related to all that shit."
Nick's lips parted into a sloppy grin. "Yeah, you're right. I don't really know what's been going on, to be honest, but that woman told me that I should show up here tonight and see what was going on, and I wasn't about to say no."
"What woman?" Bella asked, knowing full well who he was talking about.
"Old Lu-crazy… Lu-crat-zee-a… Lucia?" He stumbled over the name. "Oh, c'mon, you know. Anyways, I think I fucked up? When I heard it was gonna be a party, I thought I'd pregame, but, uh… I wasn't supposed to talk to you, I don't think. Oops."
Bella put her hands over her mouth. Nick clearly wasn't much of a threat to her (though he definitely was to the humans at the party), but the fact that Lucrezia knew she would be here was extremely concerning.
"You better get out of here, buddy," said Jacob.
"Maybe you're right," said Nick, scratching his chin.
"Then hurry up about it."
Jacob stepped closer to Nick, and, even though he couldn't phase here, his towering stature put the fear of the wolf into the much smaller vampire. Nick nodded quickly. He turned and broke into a lopsided sprint, throwing himself over the chainlink fence and disappearing into the night. Jacob wanted to pursue him; it was against his nature to let a monster run free, but he had bigger problems.
"We gotta go home. We need to check on Charlie," he said, grabbing Bella by the wrist and dragging her along.
Bella did not protest and said quick goodbyes to everyone as she was pulled out of the party. Jacob barely heard Chase yelling something about texting her later, but he was long past caring about her antics.
Jacob remembered the way they had come to the party and power-walked back to the Airbnb, holding Bella's wrist so tightly that he surely would've started dragging her along if she tripped and fell. He could still smell Nick's odor on the wind, and it seemed like it was mixing in with other vampire scents. Jake couldn't tell if his nose was playing tricks on him as his paranoia grew, or if he was mistaking Bella's own morbid aroma for that of what she was inevitably becoming.
With every step, fear and anger welled up in his stomach. Jacob began to feel almost ill, just as he had when he watched Edward intimidate—no, terrify—that truck driver when they had gone to the bonfire. His natural instincts were going into overdrive. His mind was at war with the rest of his body. The palm of his right hand began to burn with frozen heat as he squeezed Bella's wrist, practically digging his fingers into her skin.
Jacob let go of her when the Airbnb was in sight and he started to run towards the house, desperate to make sure Charlie was okay. Bella almost fell, but she quickly righted herself and took off after him, but ran right into his back. He had stopped, standing still in the center of the street.
There was a chill in the night air that only Jacob could feel. Above them, on the roof of the house, stood a figure outlined by the moonlight. Wild, long hair. Bare feet. In her hand, a decapitated head. She lazily tossed it forward, and it hit the concrete with a solid thud more suited to a bowling ball than a body part.
It was Nick's head. Bella gasped and stepped back, clutching her chest. Jacob remained stationary, his eyes moving back up to the person on the rooftop. She alighted from the roof and landed with a delicate grace on the street in front of them, her face illuminated by a dim streetlamp.
It was Victoria.
Jacob breathed a sigh of relief, but he remained uneasy. He still didn't truly trust Victoria, but he knew she wasn't out to get Bella. She had proved that when she helped them hunt down the Valenti servant back at the end of last year.
"What are you doing here?" Jacob asked her.
She shrugged, a cocky smile on her face. "Oh, I was just passing through town. Caught your scent, caught his scent—" She pointed at Nick's head. "—and I thought I'd do something about it for you. Seemed like he was going to be a problem if he got away."
"Thank you for that," Jacob said reluctantly.
"My pleasure, wolf boy. Not so useful in the suburban jungle, are you?"
He glared at her. "Is Charlie okay?"
"He's fine. Sound asleep, undisturbed." Victoria rolled her neck and cracked her knuckles. "Well, it appears as though I've caused quite a few problems for Miss Valenti if she's recruiting kids to do her dirty work for her."
"He was one of my old friends," said Bella, unable to look away from Nick's head.
His lifeless eyes stared ahead at nothing. His terrified expression was a sign that the last moments of his life had not been pleasant. He was in over his head, and he knew it. Bella fell to her knees beside him.
This is my fault.
"My condolences," said Victoria, growing slightly more serious in tone. "But that's how this world works sometimes. Sacrifices must always be made."
"What did you mean, that you've caused problems for her?" Jacob asked.
"I've been hunting her down to no real success. Instead of getting her, I've just been tearing through her family tree like it's my job." She scowled. "But it's always better to play it safe. Thin her numbers. If you kill the cubs, the mama bear will come out of hiding. Though clearly there's been a loss of familial pride if she's just yanking kids like this off the street."
Victoria sauntered over to them and picked up the head. "I'll dispose of this," she said. "Sorry about your friend, Bella, but it was over for him the minute he was bit. Turning someone like this is just like throwing a log on a fire."
Jacob watched her go. She lazily waved at them before leaping up onto another rooftop and disappearing. Once she was gone, Jacob knelt down beside Bella, laying a gentle hand on her back.
"Are you… okay?"
It was a stupid question. He knew she wasn't.
Bella didn't answer.
i've simultaneously got a lot of drive to write but i keep fizzling out whenever i start to work on this fic. i'm a bit unsatisfied with how some of the past couple chapters turned out, and i was still not happy with this one, but i ended up with a few moments that i really like. regardless, i hope y'all are enjoying reading it!
if my outline doesn't change, there are 8 chapters left (including the epilogue). specifically, there are about 2 more chapters before shit will TRULY start to hit the fan, so prepare yourselves for that!
i can't remember if i mentioned this in my last update, but there are now links to spotify playlists for this fic on my tumblr (ultward). you should be able to find them under my "music" tag, so give those a listen if you want to hear the kind of stuff i like to listen to while i write this!