A/N: Hello. I'm back. I've been trying to update this one weekly but took a break off last week to work on a one-shot. But I am back on schedule now with your weekly update, so I hope you enjoy it.

If you haven't already check out the one-shot I posted "Hold On To Me; Cause I'm A Little Unsteady" and also the new Dawsey/Stellaride story I added, "So, You Brought Out The Best Of Me; A Part Of Me I've Never Seen".

I am just realizing this is my 10th update to this story since returning from my hiatus and I am so proud to have this one continuing; I hope you all are as well.

As always, thank you so much for your continued support and reviews, they mean the world to me and I love reading them.

Dawson

I step out of my vehicle and move to the back seat to get Jesse.

We had just gotten done with his three-month checkup. Both of us having appointments today while Matt was at work.

Jesse was doing amazing. He was growing like a weed already, though he was still a small baby and had just hit right under 12 pounds at his appointment today, it was still good progression from his last appointment. I was so happy he was doing so well. He was starting to hold his head up on his own, and he had become a tummy time champ, something the doctor was also proud of.

He had hated his shots today, just as I expected. Truthfully, I had hated them as well but was definitely better today than our first round at his four-week appointment, but Jesse's fit had soon been cured by a quick breastfeeding session. He was still knocked out from that and our car ride to the firehouse.

I grab Jesse's wrap and pull it on over my sweater, wrapping it around and securing it to myself as I stood on the sidewalk. Jesse still was asleep in his seat as I kept the door open to keep an eye on him. Once I had the wrap secured and his diaper bag in easy reach, I carefully started to unbuckle him. He stretches as I guide his little arms out of the straps and his lips pucker up adorably. I pull him into my arms carefully, doing what I could to not fully disrupt his sleep. He whines for only a moment as I snuggle him close, shushing him and pressing kisses to the top of his curly head.

Thankfully, he calms quickly and I take the opportunity to settle his legs and bottom into the wrap. He curls into the wrap and snuggles into my chest immediately, no stranger to the carrying wrap. It had become my greatest tool since Matt returned to work. I adjust the wrap until I am certain Jesse and I both are comfortable and rest my hand on his bottom for a little more support before throwing my keys and phone into the diaper bag, along with Jesse's pacifier that had fallen out during his sleep. I rest the bag over my shoulder and head up to the firehouse.

I had officially been cleared at my appointment today to return to full active duty.

I still needed to talk to Matt and Chief about when exactly my first day back would be, but as soon as I was ready, I could head back to work.

I was equal parts excited and nervous to be returning to Truck 81.

I was excited to get back to work. I had missed working, I had missed being a firefighter, but my nerves were still there. I knew those wouldn't just disappear so easily. I knew it would take a shift or two before I could comfortably settle back into my role.

Though, my nerves were more than just returning to the working world. My nerves were working with Matt again. The nerves about throwing Matt and I back into the situation that started our downfall were still there. We had talked more over the last two weeks as my next appointment approached and after more of Matt talking me down, I knew this was the right decision. Returning to 81 to finish what I started was what I needed to do... I just hoped it wasn't at the expense of my relationship and family.

Matt had assured me we could handle this; that we had grown, and we would learn from our past mistakes. I hoped more than anything he was right.

When I head in through the double garage doors, I can't help but smile as I see the majority of the house littered throughout the garage. The ambo was out, I presumed on a call or gas run, but Engine, Squad, and Truck were all parked in their home. The Squad guys all at the table, Kelly of course at the helm reading his paper. While Truck was all-around cleaning equipment and organizing compartment doors.

"Damn, am I happy to see you all cleaning, less for the candidate to do later." I tease, drawing the attention of the garage that had otherwise been too distracted to notice.

"Dawson!" Hermann is up on his feet first, pulling me into a side hug, careful of the baby strapped to my chest. Otis and Mouch follow soon after. Stella is wrapping me up right after, her hand resting on mine and Jesse's back as her tall figure peers down at the sleeping baby.

"Oh my God, he is precious." She cries, a large grin resting on her face. I had forgotten this was her first time officially meeting him, she had only seen him in quick passing before.

I grin back at her, rubbing my hand along Jesse's back through the material of the wrap. "Thanks, Stella."

It is Cruz that moves over from the Squad table, squeezing my shoulder in greeting. "What is this I hear about you joining those knuckleheads back on Truck?" He questions, nodding to the guys who had all gathered around the front of the rig.

I smirk, shaking my head at him before patting Jesse's bag in my hand. "Well, I do have some papers in here clearing me for full active duty, so, ya know. It's a possibility." I tease.

The house cheers, I feel Jesse jump in my arms, even in his sleep startled by the noise. The guys all must notice as well because the looks on their faces are ones of complete regret as they go silent. My eyes focus on Jesse as I try to hold in my laugh. He settles back down, the noise not enough to fully wake him.

I rub a comforting pattern over his back, bouncing on my heels to help rock him back into sleep as I shake my head at the sheepish men staring back at me.

"Sorry, Dawson." Otis whispers, I wave him off, no harm done.

"So," my eyes move to Hermann as he speaks, his voice softer than before. "You got your walking papers? How quick until we have you back?" I can see the excited look in their eyes and I can't help but smile.

That question was still unanswered as I looked back down at Jesse and then to Matt where he sat leaned up against his Truck, watching the scene in front of him. He sees my hesitance and simply shrugs. I knew he was leaving that decision up to me, and I knew it was a conversation we would likely be having soon.

"We need to talk about it. Get some solid child care lined up for the days we are on shift and whatnot." I playoff, but I can see Hermann knows exactly where my hesitation lies a knowing smirk covering his face.

"Just tell us the truth, Dawson." He teases. "You aren't sure if you want to go back to looking at our ugly mugs for 24 hours a day instead of that cute baby face."

I laugh, my attention still on the sleeping baby in my arms. Hermann hitting the nail on the head. I couldn't imagine spending 24 entire hours away from.

I glance around at the house grinning, before turning my nose up at them. "I mean, can you blame me?"

That earns a few chuckles from the guys as our attention is moved to the double doors when Chief walks out. Stopping at first when he notices me, before moving in my direction, a large smile filling his dark face.

"Hey, Gabby. I didn't know you'd be stopping by today." He greets.

I offer him a smile. "Well, thought I better bring you my paperwork from the doctor today and fill out the rest of the paperwork you had for me," I explain simply.

It had been two weeks since Casey and I let Boden know that I would be accepting the offer to go back on Truck 81. I hadn't been to the firehouse since, but Boden had called to tell me he had some paperwork for me to fill out when I was ready and I knew now was as good of a time as any since I had been given my medical clearance and knew Boden would need to send that up to headquarters.

Boden simply nods at my words, a small smile playing on his face as he looks down at me. I look up at him curiously, his stare throwing me off as I continued to rock on my heels with Jesse.

His eyes move to meet mine, his smile unmoving. "That baby looks good on you, Gabriela Dawson."

I smile shyly, feeling my cheeks heat up as I cradle Jesse closer. "Thanks, Chief." I whisper.

He nods, his smile still there. He looks around to the crowd of 51 members that are surrounding us before looking back to me. "Well, once you get done out here come see me and we will get you squared away." He tells me before moving to the Squad table to talk to Kelly.

Matt walks up to me now, a knowing grin on his face. He directs his attention back to the guys, telling them to finish up so they can eat after before looking to me. "Hi." He says softly, running his hand along my back.

"Hi." I murmur back, stopping my rocking motion as he looks down at Jesse. His little cheek was pressed against my chest, his thumb in his mouth as he slept, his wild curls peeking out over the cocoon of the wrap.

Matt nods toward the house double doors and I silently agree. He takes Jesse's bag from me and we move through the double doors and down to his office.

I settle onto Matt's bed, leaning back into his pillow as I sat cross-legged and Matt took a seat in his chair, turning to face me.

"How was his appointment?" He questions.

I can't help but smile. "It was good. He did a little better with the shots this time around, or at least it didn't take as long to calm him down this time. He is right under 12 pounds now, and the doctor was impressed with his motor functions even if he is still a little underweight for his age, he says he is still gaining at a good progression for how small of a baby he was. Said we shouldn't worry; he is just going to be our little man for a little while longer."

Matt grins, nodding at my words. "That's good to hear. How was it for you?" He asks pointedly, remembering my past two break downs during Jesse's shots.

Surprisingly, I had done better this time around. I think knowing this time I was on my own and Matt wasn't there had forced me to be strong and not break down. It also helped that Jesse remained calmer this time around as well. I tell him as much and he shakes his head in understanding before asking me about how my own appointment went.

"Mine was also good. Everything is officially healed. I know she was originally worried about some of the scar tissue and the placement of that first tear, but she did an ultrasound and confirmed everything looks good. I am officially done with follow up appointments in regards to the c-section." I say thankfully. Not only was I just happy to know I was healed and doing well, but I was also happy to be able to put that chapter behind me. It had been rough and painful, both emotionally and physically and I was more than ready to move on from it all and leave it in the past.

"So, you are released for full active duty?" He confirms though I knew he had been listening in the garage early, only staying back then to give me the space to talk to the guys. I offer only a nod in answer so Matt continues. I could see he was trying to offer a reassuring smile. "Any more thought on when you want to return?"

I sigh, uncrossing my legs and stretching out, the movement causing Jesse to stir lightly before he settles once more.

"I am thinking in two weeks, maybe." I can hear my own uncertainty in my words and know Matt must decipher them as well by the look on his face. I go back to gnawing on my lip, avoiding his gaze.

"Gabby..." He says gently, forcing my eyes to him after a few moments of silence. "There is no wrong decision here, okay? You know I support whatever you want to do." His words soothe me, like I knew he intended them to do. "But you and I also know that the Chief is going to be looking for some kind of timeline now that you were cleared so he can pass that up to headquarters and change your leave status."

I nod along, I knew all this. In the back of my mind, I knew coming to 51 today and giving the confirmation that I had been medically cleared would mean Chief needed a timeline on my return if he was going to continue saving my spot-on Truck. I probably should have come to a more solid decision by now if I was being honest. Truthfully, I had avoided it, not wanting to think about my pending separation from Jesse.

In the past two weeks since our original conversation where we decided I would be coming back to Truck we had taken a few steps to get Jesse... and myself ready for the upcoming transition. Connie's sister, Bonnie... don't even get me started on that one.

...Had met with us and was slowly working her way into our everyday lives. I would leave her with Jesse a few hours during the day, forcing myself to go out and give Jesse some time to adjust to not having me around. It had been an adjustment for sure, but more so for myself than for Jesse. He was loving the attention Bonnie gave him, and so far, no major meltdowns had happened whenever I had been away. Well, not on Jesse's side at least.

I, admittedly, had taken our first trial period hard. I was meant to go get lunch with Cindy and Donna; Matt's idea of helping me stay distracted while someone I barely knew was watching our son while he was on shift.

I spent nearly 30 minutes having a full-on breakdown in the car before I had even pulled from our curb to meet the girls. The fact that this was soon going to be a reoccurring thing, that Jesse was about to split three days a week with someone that was not his parents... that wasn't me? That had been rough to say the least. Even when I thought I had gotten myself under control, Donna and Cindy saw right through me the minute we sat down for lunch and I was once again flooded with tears.

I had never been one for such strong emotions, but damn did this kid know how to pull them out of me.

By the time I got home, I had practically ripped the door open and lunged to hold Jesse close, the baby seeming to be none the wiser that I had just left him alone for the first time besides our one night with Antonio when I worked Molly's. After that initial disaster day, things had gotten better. I would leave Jesse with Bonnie for a few hours every day Matt was on shift and go have some time for myself. I would go for a workout, shop, I had worked one paramedic class at the academy and had done some light work around Molly's over the past two weeks.

But I hadn't spent more than 6 hours away from Jesse, yet. I knew he and I both would need a little bit of time to implement that new transition before I fully went back to work.

Jesse was taking the bottle more and more over the last two weeks, but he was still very much attached to his nighttime feedings. Matt had tried taking over some of them with the bottle, but Jesse only accepted that about half the time so far.

I look back to Matt now, his piercing blue eyes looking at me thoughtfully as I think over my options. "Two more weeks," I tell him, trying my best to sound stronger than I felt at that decision. "We need to work more on getting him to take the bottle at night before we throw that on Bonnie, as well as actually give her a two weeks' notice for when this is starting, and maybe have her spend a night or two with us? You know, we can be there, but just stay out of the way, let Bonnie handle him for a night to see how it goes?" I knew I was rambling, my nervous thoughts coming out of my mouth as quickly as they hit me.

Matt's grin hitting me once again, and I couldn't help but roll my eyes at his amused look. "Whatever you say, Gabs. I think all of that is a great idea." He finally reassures.

We spend the next thirty minutes going over an actual game plan for the next two weeks. Matt calls Bonnie while I tend to Jesse who wakes up in those thirty minutes. I change his diapers and lay him on his belly on Matt's bed when I am done, letting him have some tummy time while Matt finishes giving Bonnie the rundown of the plan over the next two weeks to prepare me and Jesse for my return to work.

He hangs up a bit later, giving me a reassuring smile, letting me know the plan we had worked up also worked with Bonnie's schedule. I feel the tension releasing from my shoulders as everything was worked out without any hiccups.

There was just one last thing to do to solidify my return to work... let my boss know.

Jesse soon grows tired of tummy time and starts to get hungry; his previous amused baby talk turning into grunts of discontent. "You want to feed him a bottle? I should probably go talk to Boden soon before you guys get a call." I say, knowing the past hour I had spent in the house without them getting a call was likely me still working on borrowed time at this rate.

Matt nods, quickly digging through the diaper bag and getting one of two premade bottles I had prepared with breastmilk from the freezer before we left the apartment today. Matt hands me the papers I needed for Boden from the bag and I smile gratefully. He slings the bag over his shoulder and I take the papers from him picking Jesse up and passing him to Matt as we make our way to the common room. Matt to warm up Jesse's bottle and me to head to the Chief's office.

"Good luck." I hear Matt call as we part ways, him entering the common room to the now full house with Jesse tucked in one arm and the baby bag and bottle in the other.

There was just something different about seeing Matt as a dad, at the firehouse no less.

He was an amazing father for one, I always knew he would be, but seeing him in uniform on shift, while dotting on Jesse's every beck and call was a new layer to him in fatherhood that I would never admit just how much I loved seeing.

I shake those thoughts from my head before they can creep into dangerous territory and head to Boden's office.

He is waiving me in before I can even knock and I quietly shut the door behind me before taking a seat across from him.

"Hey, Chief."

"Gabriela. It's good to see you." The large welcoming smile on Chief's face always had a way of calming me.

"Thanks, Chief. It's good to see you, too. Good to see everyone here."

Boden smiles, nodding. "Yeah well, this house hasn't been the same without you." We sit in silence for a moment, before Boden clears his throat. "So, you've been cleared for full duty I hear?"

I nod quickly, handing the papers I had received from my doctor over to him. "Yes. Officially cleared for full duty, Chief."

"Good to hear. When can I expect you back?"

Gnawing on my bottom lip I take a moment, this all made it official... and while I was excited to go back to work, I still ached with the fact that I would be spending so much time away from Jesse soon.

"Two weeks." I tell him, mustering up all the courage I could.

I miss the sympathetic look on Boden's face as he stares at me, his fatherly smile filling his face. "Dawson." He says, pulling my eyes to his. "There is no rush on this alright. I know how difficult this decision is. Donna went through the same thing with Terrance. Going back to work, leaving your son, I know it is not something we as parents ever fully prepare for."

"It is, Chief. Hard, I mean, but I am ready for this." I tell him.

Chief nods. "Alright then. Two weeks. I will get the paperwork sent up to headquarters."

"Thanks Chief." I go to stand, but Chief holding his hand up pauses me and I settle back into my seat staring him over curiously. "Is there something else Chief."

Boden clears his throat, his eyes turning a little more serious. "Listen, Dawson. I am happy to have you back at 51. I truly am, but I need to know that you working on Truck 81 will not be an issue?"

"I promise you, Chief. Casey and I both will not let this affect the house."

"I know, Dawson." I raise my brow in confusion. If that's not it, then what was it? "I trust that you and Casey will be professionals while you finish out your candidacy. I just want to make sure you both are ready to do this again. Now, I don't know what is going on between the two of you, that is not my business. I just want to ensure you are both ready for this. Personally, and professionally."

I knew the Chief was not only concerned for us as a boss but as our friend who wanted what was best for us. He, maybe better than most, saw the tole of what this situation put on our relationship before.

I hoped more than anything we could live up to his expectations and our own. I wanted us to make this work, and Matt had assured me that he was not only supportive but excited about this. I hoped those same feelings stuck over the next two months. I couldn't stand this being another end for us, not when we were doing so good, making so much progress.

We were the happiest we had been in a long time. We were talking so freely and openly. There were no deep dark clouds hanging over us and it felt truly amazing. Matt had said before that this was a chance for us to make up for past mistakes and I wanted to believe that. I wanted to believe that this was a start to a new beginning... a new happier and honest beginning.

"Casey and I have talked a lot about this Chief. Both personally and professionally. We are ready for this." I assure not only him, but myself.

Severide

I couldn't help the smile that formed on my face as I sat in the middle of the living room floor stretching while Dawson hustled around getting everything ready for Jesse. Our workouts had definitely become a different setting since Jesse had been born.

When I first moved in with Casey and Dawson sometimes all, other times just two of us, would make a habit out of morning runs. Especially after Dawson found out she was going to Truck she had dived headfirst into more regular workouts and in the beginning, it had been comforting to go outside by side for a run.

After I moved in, we were both still pretty broken after losing Shay. Dawson and I weren't much of talkers. Neither of us liked having the heavy emotional confrontations that we knew we probably needed to, but after a long day or when things got tough, we would go for a run. Normally no words were spoken and we both would put our earphones in and run together in silence, but it had been the simple fact of having someone there that understood what you needed in that moment.

I guess that was a lot of what Dawson and I's friendship had always been. Just being there for each other, even if it was in silence.

Now though, our friendship had gotten stronger, deeper, and if I needed a long drawn out talk, she or Casey were who I found myself going to.

Today's run had nothing to do with filling the silence or running out our frustrations, today was just fun, and I think that was one of the greatest shifts that had happened over the last year or two. We were all happier than we had been in a very long time.

Dawson had a week left before going back to work, and she was making the most out of the time she had and was working out daily to get herself prepared to go back to running into burning buildings.

Casey had a construction job this morning and left nearly an hour ago. Which left Dawson to bring Jesse along on our run. This normally wasn't an issue as Dawson had a jogging stroller that one of us would push with no problem, but Jesse was not enjoying it today. Nearly every time Dawson went to put him down at all he started crying. He was really having none of it today.

Gabby had switched tactics from trying to calm him enough to put him down and had retired to the bedroom to rock and feed him instead.

She came out 10 minutes ago and was able to get a now sleeping Jesse strapped into the jogger with no issues, but was now running around to get a mini diaper bag together for him and get herself dressed to go.

Like I said, our runs had changed, but I think we both took it in stride.

Dawson hooks the bag into the bottom of the stroller and sets two water bottles in the cupholder beside her phone before plopping down on the floor beside me with a huff. I grin at her as she begins to stretch as well.

"Screw the run, that was enough of a workout for the day." She huffs as she stretches out her legs in front of her.

I chuckle. "I don't get it, normally he loves that thing," I say motioning to the jogger. Normally even if Jesse wasn't asleep, he loved going for runs with us. Half the time we checked on him during the run he was wide-eyed and content to be staring out at the new surroundings.

"To be fair, I am not so sure it has anything to do with the jogger at all." She mutters, moving to stretching out her arms as I raise a brow in question. "I think he is just really getting the hint of the change in schedule. With Bonnie coming over more this past week and then staying the night with him and I last night while you guys were on shift... Bonnie pretty much took care of him all last night and while he was good, I think seeing me this morning afterward made him realize I wasn't around. He's been a little clingier this morning than normal."

I nod in understanding, both of us crawling off the floor to head out. Dawson ties her tennis shoes into place and I grab my phone and set it next to hers in the stroller holder. Gabby checks to make sure Jesse is sleeping and secure in his infant seat in the jogger before wrapping a blanket around him and zipping the visor up. She pushes the stroller to the door and I hold it open for her as she comes through then lock it up.

"That's to be expected," I tell her, resuming our conversation as we walk down the road to the park that had a perfect trail for Jesse's jogger. "He has done really great with the little changes happening, but a full overnight was bound to be a little adjustment."

Gabby nods. "Yeah, I expected some resistance on his part, I mean we had a schedule and now that is changing. I am honestly just happy he did so well for Bonnie last night and left the crying and clinginess for me."

We walk in silence for a bit before Gabby starts talking, making me wish the silence was back. "So, what's up with you and Kidd?"

I roll my eyes not missing the grin on her face. "Nothing is up with me and Stella," I tell her for what must be the fifth time in the past couple weeks.

Gabby rolls her eyes this time while scoffing. "Yeah, okay. Just like there is nothing going on with me and Casey."

Dawson nearly stops walking at her own words, not realizing what she has said and I stop right alongside her, a huge grin of accomplishment and teasing already filling my face. "HA, so you are finally ready to admit that there is something going on between you two?"

Gabby stutters for a moment, starting to walk again. "That's not what I meant." She tries to cover, though I see right through it.

"Oh please. I live with you. The longing stares and sex-filled eyes aren't fooling anyone, least of all me."

The short brunette glares at me, slapping my arm which only makes me laugh and furthers her annoyance.

"Is there a reason you two are only giving each other longing stares and sex-filled eyes? Did something happen?" I question.

It still shocked me how easily I fell into what could only be classified as girl talk with Gabby. I swore if half the house heard any of the conversations, I had been roped into with her in the last year I would never live it down.

Gabby gnaws on her bottom lip, a telltale sign that she had something on her mind. It only takes her another few minutes before she is spilling the beans.

"I kissed him."

My eyebrows have to have met my hairline at that comment. "When?" I question, surprised to just be hearing this news.

"A couple of weeks ago. The night I worked that first shift at Molly's." She confesses, only furthering my surprise.

"Well damn, Dawson. That's what had you two so happy the last couple weeks." I tease.

She laughs lightly. "It was just one kiss, but we talked a lot that last night and the next day. Not just about work, but about us. We really laid it all out there for the first time since we broke up."

"Damn. I'm sure that wasn't easy."

"No. It was rough." She says softly, as we approach the park, we branch off on the trail but continue to walk, both of us making the silent mutual agreement to finish this conversation first. "We talked about all of it though. Everything that lead to our break up, the stuff at work and at home, the blonde bimbo, and Beth..." Gabby shoots me a pointed glare and I grimace. I knew Casey was a big boy and made his own decisions, but it didn't stop my own guilt for pushing both those situations.

"Sorry," I mutter, knowing there was nothing else to say.

"Anyways, we talked about all of it and it was really great to air it all out. I mean it doesn't fix everything, maybe nothing ever fully will, you know? But we both at least got to talk about what we were feeling back then and apologize for what we both did to break us up."

"That's good, Gabs. Clearing the air." I tell her.

"Yeah, it was." Gabby trails off, clearly in thought. "After our talk, Matt, he asked if we could move on from all of this. If we could forgive each other and move on, we can't change the past but we can learn from it... and well, little man woke up and kind of paused that conversation. I told him I needed some time to think, and other than the work aspect of it, we haven't really revisited it."

I stare at Gabby for a moment. I knew she had been stressed over the last couple weeks at the prospect of returning to work and getting Jesse ready for that transition as well as her own body. It was clear though to me that she already had an answer to Casey's question.

"Is there a reason you haven't revisited it?" I prompt.

"I don't know, honestly. I mean that night we talked a little more after Jesse woke up, well Matt talked and was sweet and amazing, but after that, we just went to bed and the next day, we focused on what I wanted to do with going back to 51. Since then I guess we may be avoiding it a little bit. I mean I said I needed time to think, and Matt agreed, but it's been nearly three weeks since that night."

"So, why don't you bring it up?" I prompt once again, knowing sometimes Gabby needed a little push to get all of her true feelings out there.

Gabby sighs. "Honestly? I may be avoiding it a little bit. I go back on Truck in about a week. We go back to Candidate and Lieutenant in a week, Kelly. I know we said we wouldn't let history repeat itself again. We said we would be better, but we also talked about essentially using this as a trial period to make sure we could handle this. Keep the personal and the professional a little clearer."

I shake my head at her words. "Okay, so if that is what you both decided then why do you sound less than convinced right now?" I ask her. Her tone making it clear she was less than enthused with the plan. Even if she was excited to go back to 51, to go back on Truck, it was clear she wasn't completely on board with the personal side of their decision.

"Look, I know it's a good idea. I know that keeping it separate for these next two months is smart. We've already done it for a year basically. I agree, it is a good idea and it will be nice to prove to ourselves that we can do it. This is what ruined us before and it will be nice to fix that." Gabby rambles, at this point I think she was trying to convince herself as much as she was trying to convince me.

I smirk, "Why do I sense a 'but' here, Dawson?"

Gabby sighs heavily, closing her eyes for a moment. "...but, I miss him, Kelly." Her words come out in nearly a whine, clearly more upset about all this than she was letting on.

There it was. Her finally admitting what any sane person knew to be true. I knew if I asked Matt the same question his answer would be the same, he missed her too.

Yes, they saw each other nearly every single day, save for the days Casey was on shift. But that wasn't what this was about and I knew that. They missed being them. They missed being a couple. While I had said before that they were basically the unofficial couple that everyone was just waiting to become official again, I knew it took more than that. Gabby missed her boyfriend, her fiancé, she didn't just miss Casey... she missed who they used to be. Who they could be.

"I miss him, Kelly. I miss us... and us talking about everything and laying it out there it finally feels like the weight has been lifted off of us. Us talking about actually moving on and forgiving each other? God, that is the most real we have been in longer than I can remember. But in nearly the same sentence we are talking about me going back on Truck and it just feels like we can't approach that topic again until that is all over. At least, not fully."

"Alright, listen. I get your worries, but consider..." Gabby nods. "You and Casey finally had one of the most real conversations you have had in months. You are finally talking openly again and clearing the air. Even if you think the right thing right now is holding off on getting back together... do you really think this conversation is something you should be keeping from Casey?" I question.

I see Gabby taking my words in and thinking them over as we keep walking.

"No one knows your relationship better than the two of you, Gabby. I can't tell you what to do. All I do know is that if you guys are in such a good place, I would hate to see you roll backward because you are holding things back and thinking you are protecting each other. Nothing good comes of that. Even if you miss him, but you agree that waiting is smart... Casey deserves to know where your head is at, Gabby."

Gabby nods, offering me a sincere smile. "You're right." She says softly, squeezing my arm quickly before settling both hands back on the stroller.

"Please, I always am."

Gabby rolls her eyes, shoving me this time, as we approach the entrance once again, having made the entire two-mile loop already.

"Alright, enough of the girl talk, let's get this actual run in before I lose all motivation," Gabby mutters, moving to check on Jesse who is still sleeping soundly before grabbing back onto the handles.

I chuckle at her as we both take off jogging. Gabby's short legs causing her to fall back as normal with my longer strides. "Hey, the last one back around the loop does dishes this week." I holler back at her, before turning into a sprint.

I barely make out Gabby's grumble from behind me before I feel her next to me and picking up speed, matching me stride for stride.

Casey

I walk through the glass back door, surprised to find the apartment already dark, save for the light under the microwave on. It was just a little after nine at night, so I knew either Kelly and Gabby had gone to bed early, or Kelly was out.

I hang up my coat and set my keys on the counter noticing a post-it note stuck to the microwave I move there instead of heading in my original destination of the open layout to find Gabby or Kelly.

Dinner is in the microwave. Kelly at Molly's.

I smirked at Gabby's squiggly handwriting and open up the microwave finding two pork chops, potatoes, and broccoli sitting on a plate under wrap. I hit the start button and decide to eat first. It had been a long day.

I had left this morning for a construction job but hadn't expected to be at it for the entire day. I had called Gabby around lunch and let her know it was going to be a longer one than I anticipated, but I hadn't warned her it would be through dinner time and I felt bad for missing dinner as well as putting Jesse to bed.

I ate quickly, nearly scarfing the food down as I remembered just how little I had eaten today. After chugging a glass of water, I cleaned up after myself quietly, not wanting to wake Jesse or Gabby, before shutting off any lights I had turned on and heading to our bedroom. The room is coated in darkness, but the bed is empty, and my brows furrow. I move over to the side of the bed, smiling softly when I see Jesse fast asleep tucked into his swaddle.

I look around noticing the shut bathroom door and the little bit of light peeking out under it. I knew Gabby was likely going through her nighttime routine so I knocked softly on the door. "Gabby?"

"Matt?" She questions, her voice muffled through the door.

I push it open and step inside, expecting to find her at the sink washing her face... not submerged in the bathtub with the lights dimmed and a candlelit.

I quickly turn back around, "Shit, I'm sorry." I mutter quickly, my heart rate quickening. "I thought you'd be washing your face or something I shouldn't have-…"

"Matt." Gabby's soft voice cuts me off and I stay rooted to my spot, staring at the wall with my back to her. "You can turn around, I am covered." She tells me, her voice light and amused.

I turned around cautiously, shutting the door a little more not to let the light stream into the bedroom.

Gabby was indeed covered, bubbles filling the majority of the tub and covering all but her neck and up, her hair pulled up in a high bun to protect the curly locks.

"Besides, it's not like it's anything you haven't seen." She teased. "I think the baby in the next room is only further proof of that."

I chuckle, "I plead the fifth." I tease back, the giggle she releases doing just as many things to me as the thought of what the bubbles were covering.

"How was the job?" She questions, leaning her head back into the bath pillow behind her.

I suddenly need to clear my dry throat before speaking. "It was fine, long. Much longer than I planned, I'm sorry about that."

Gabby waves me off, clearly not upset by me being gone all day. "You do anything fun around here?" I question, pulling my toothbrush out and working on my own bedtime routine.

"Kelly and I went for a jog with Jesse. By the way, he is in charge of dishes for the week, so do with that what you will." She jokes and I laugh around my toothbrush. "Kelly actually watched him for an hour after that so I could head to Molly's and help Hermann with a shipment. Other than that, just spent time here, got some laundry done."

I rinse my mouth and put my toothbrush away before turning back to her. "Sounds like you had a productive day."

"Yeah, it was good. That run took more out of me than I thought it would. I've been looking forward to this bath all day." She murmurs, stretching gently and settling back once more.

I smirk. "Well, I'll leave you to it then. Just let me know when you're done, I need to wash the sawdust and sweat off me." I tell her, going to turn to the door and give her, her privacy.

Her voice stops me a moment later. "Matt."

I turn back to her; my brow raised in question and don't miss the timid look on her face or the telltale signs of nerves as she gnawed on her bottom lip. "You uh, you don't have to wait... if you don't want to of course." She murmurs, motioning to the shower that was directly behind her.

I can't help the smile that falls on my face, as small as it might be.

This used to be the normal for us. Gabby soaking in the tub, while I showered if I wasn't joining her. It wasn't a normal we had in a long time, and I knew she was extending the olive branch. She was opening up the door a little at a time for us to start going back into old habits.

"You sure?" I questioned, wanting to make sure she was okay with that. I knew there was no harm in this, both of us in completely different washing areas, but it felt oddly intimate.

Gabby offers a small smile, nodding her head. "I'm sure."

I don't question her again, only nod and move to grab my own towel out of the cupboard before closing the door the rest of the way so no more light streamed into the bedroom.

Gabby relaxes back into her bath as I flip the water on for myself and undress before hopping into the shower, both of us sitting in silence.

"How did last night go with Bonnie?" I question, knowing Gabby could still hear me even if she couldn't see me.

"It was really good. Jesse was great for her all night, but he did get a little clingier this morning to me. Didn't want to go in the jogger, which he normally loves, didn't really want me to put him down at all. He got better after his first nap on our run though." She explains.

I nod, forgetting she can't see me before speaking. "Well, hopefully, it was just a tired thing more than a you being gone thing. I mean if he only does it in the morning that is better than the entire time you aren't on shift, right?" I ask.

Gabby doesn't respond for a few moments and my brows furrow. "Gabby?"

It's still silent.

"I miss you..." She nearly whispers. If I wasn't already tuned in waiting for her response, I was positive I wouldn't have heard her.

My brows furrow even more. "I, I'm sorry I wasn't here today I'll try and-…" I immediately start apologizing, unsure what she was talking about but she cuts me off, laughing softly.

"That not... that's not what I mean, Matt." She says just as softly. My heart rate picks up, waiting for her to continue. "I miss you. I miss us." She breathes out.

I swallow thickly, goosebumps settling on my skin despite the hot water falling down on me.

"I miss you too, Gabby." I respond, my words gentle. I wasn't sure what this meant, what she was trying to do here, but I knew those words were true. I knew what she meant now. I knew she didn't mean me as in my presence today. No, it wasn't that. It was so much more than that.

Gabby clears her throat and I hear the water move in her tub before settling once again. "Kelly and I were talking today and I just... I wanted you to know how I was feeling." She tells me and I am frozen in my place, hanging on her every word. "I know we decided to wait, I know we decided to keep working on us, and I agree with it, I think it's the right move. The responsible move." She trails off and waits, hoping she will continue.

I knew this position, not being able to see each other's face right now made this conversation easier, made us both bolder, and able to say what we were feeling without seeing those emotions play out on the others features.

"But just because I know it's what is right, doesn't mean I enjoy it. I just... I miss you. So much, and I wanted you to know. I know keeping things from each other, good or bad, has never ended well for us." Gabby sighs, her voice thicker when she speaks her next words. "I miss you, and I just didn't want you to question that, ever."

I swallow thickly once again, the emotions of this settling in my throat. "Okay," I tell her softly, unsure what more to say. I hear Gabby drain the water and see her stand through the glass walls surrounding me. Her back to me as she pulls her towel on and steps out of the tub.

Before she can get to the door I call her name, and she turns around, her tired eyes meeting mine through the glass.

"I miss us, too. Don't ever question that either." I assure her. "We're going to get back there, ok? To us. I promise you that."

Gabby smiles softly, her brown eyes brightening as she nods. "I believe you." She says softly before turning and stepping into our bedroom and shutting the door behind her.