Hey Everyone!

Sorry for doing this but I'm very excited and I wanted to share ASAP - If you're reading this I appreciate you taking the time. If you consistently read my author's notes you may remember that I mentioned an artist who streams on Twitch called emkrosse.

I told myself I would wait until my next chapter to announce this because she and I are still working out the details but I'm so excited I just can't wait! She's going to be doing a fanart portrait of our lovely Kiyoko Shiranui for me in her own style which is something I have wanted for a long time. I am extremely excited about this. She plans to work on it on her daily stream so anyone who's interested can tune in and watch her draw Kiyoko! She works on multiple projects at once so she might work on other things during the stream as well but if you love art or even just enjoy watching artists work (like I do, it fascinates me) then you likely won't be bored.

She is currently looking at the context I've sent her and the reference photos and from there she's going to give me a date for when she is going to be able to start it. Once I have that date I will update everyone but, like I mentioned, this has me so excited I had to share. If you were interested in watching an artist work or just wanted to get ahead of this you can always find her on Twitch ahead of time and follow her so that you get notifications. I recommend this because while she officially streams from 1PM-4PM Eastern Standard Time, Monday through Friday, she will often steam her commission sketches early in the morning or on the weekend.

UPDATE: IT'S NOT SET IN STONE YET BUT SHE'S HOPING TO BEGIN SOMETIME BETWEEN AUGUST 10TH AND 14TH

I only ask that if you join us for the streams you be respectful - I consider her a friend and I'm so excited she's willing to do this for me so I don't want her bombarded with trolling or anything because of my invitation for my readers to join the stream. Even so, feel free to chat to her about art, anime or video games. She's into all of them!

Thank you and again.

emkrosse's channel! If you're interested in art or are excited to see how she will breathe life into Kiyoko for us please check her out.

TWITCH = emkrosse

If you're curious about what kind of stuff you'll be watching her draw you can check out her instagram first;

INSTA = em . krosse *remove the spaces, you know how FF is a butthole about weblinks, if you're following my Tumblr I'm going to post her stuff there too)

Civil Affairs

Chapter 25

Justice Delayed

For the first time in my life I skipped work.

I was so shocked that I had lost control of my body and without a final word to Mrs Hagane turned to leave. I vaguely remembered hearing her call after me but it was through a thick fog and even if I'd wanted to I wouldn't have been able to respond. I arrived home and without taking off my shoes moved to my couch where I sat.

There I stayed for hours in quiet contemplation of everything I had experienced up to this point. I had thought that I would've felt something more at the realization that someone had done such a terrible thing. Not just in general but to me. They'd done that terrible thing to me. I expected to feel sadder, angrier, more confused, and yet oddly I barely felt anything at all. Except for a pressing need to be alone with my thoughts.

It wasn't until the door to my house opened and my brother entered quietly, blinking in confusion at my position on the couch and demeanor, that I felt myself come back to the present.

"Kiyoko?" He questioned carefully. He had clearly been disturbed by the scene he had intruded upon.

"I saw Kakashi on Saturday." I stated simply, keeping my gaze directed at my lap where my hands were clenching my dress.

"Oh?" He responded, his voice thick with unease.

"He seemed convinced someone was causing miscarriages in the village." I continued and finally looked at Genma from the corner of my eye. My brother hadn't bothered to leave the welcome mat and was instead shifting uncomfortably. "He seemed convinced that someone had caused my miscarriage."

"Oh." He repeated, except this time his tone was clearly sharp. He sounded almost annoyed at this new information though his face showed only a carefully fabricated, neutral expression.

"I can't say for certain that Kakashi was entirely right," I began, finally turning my head to look my brother in the eye properly, "I admit there still may be another explanation but he's not entirely wrong either. He's managed to identify a concerning trend in the village's birth statistics - a trend that our own Statistics Department overlooked."

There was a pregnant pause as my brother waited patiently.

"I didn't listen to him." I admitted after a while, turning my head again so I was no longer looking at the jonin, "I dismissed him and I shouldn't have. If anyone else...even if a complete stranger had brought that information to me, I would've investigated it and trusted their judgement. Not enough to assume they were right but at least enough to look at the numbers properly and see for myself. But because it was Kakashi I patronized him, scolded him even, and sent him away."

"You can't blame yourself for that." Genma responded quickly.

"Yes, I can. When I first met him, I made Kakashi prove to me that he was trustworthy and not once did he complain about it. He did everything he could to make it so that I saw him as someone I could trust. He even went a step further and became my friend."

I turned so I could look at him again. Somehow, I was managing to keep my expression level though I could feel the pressure of unshed tears behind my eyes.

"My friend. A friend who worked so hard to earn my trust, came to me for help and I shut him out. I completely forgot that I could trust him, that I should trust him, and I absolutely can blame myself for that. That was on me."

Another long silence ensued as I looked back at my hands which were clenching my skirt even tighter than before. I was coming to realize the harder I clenched my fists the more it seemed like the tears weren't going to come. The contact was keeping me grounded. I didn't hear him move but suddenly my brother was beside me and lowered himself to sit next to me on the couch. I turned my head again and watched him as he let out a heavy sigh, reaching a hand up to rip his bandana off his head. His hair was left disheveled, but he didn't seem to care as he used his free hand to scuff it even more.

"What a mess this is." He breathed; his voice weary.

"It wouldn't have been such a mess if I'd just trusted him. Like I said I did all those months ago." I shot back almost immediately, my chest clenching in what I could only assume was self-loathing. "I didn't mean to lie to him."

"It wasn't a lie, Kiyoko." Genma immediately emphasized, "Trust isn't always a black and white concept - there's some grey area there. You trusted Kakashi to be a father and help you with your son...but that doesn't inherently mean you trust him with everything. Especially not after everything you've both gone through. There's some blame on him too, you know. Knowing him he probably showed up acting like either a depressed bum or a lunatic."

I opened my mouth to protest that trust was black and white. To defend Kakashi and say that it had to be - you either trusted someone or you didn't. No in between even if he did show up acting like a depressed bum or a lunatic. Genma, however, cut me off before I could start.

"When I go on a mission with a new squad, I trust complete strangers not to betray me or get me killed because that's the nature of our work. I trust them with one of the most important things to me - my life. But," He paused briefly for emphasis, "That doesn't mean I would trust their advice or judgement on anything else. Not on family matters, or life advice - hell, I trust Gai with almost everything, but I'd never trust him to give me good advice on women. Trust is one of the grey-est feelings out there."

He went quiet to let me think more about what he had said.

"Absolute trust between two people is rare and when it does happen it takes a lot longer to develop than you think. Besides, it is not all your fault. Kakashi makes a mess of everything he touches - the man is a menace to both himself and society." He finished, sounding exasperated at the thought of the other man.

I noticed Genma smirk bitterly at his own statement as he clearly began reflecting on the silver-haired jonin. I chose not to comment and instead moved on to the next thing I needed to say.

"I need to find him." I told him, realizing as soon as I said it that it was a near impossible task. If Kakashi didn't want to be found there wasn't a soul who could do it - not even my big brother. Despite that, Genma immediately hoisted himself into a standing position and moved to put his bandana back on.

"Consider it done." He replied and immediately started walking for the door. I was startled by his composure and the ease in which he had said it. I had expected him to scold me or accuse me of siding with Kakashi only because I still wasn't over what happened with Tobiro. I expected him to treat me the way I had treated Kakashi in my office on Saturday.

But he didn't.

"You believe me?" I asked, the surprise evident in my voice despite everything I had been doing to keep my emotions under control.

"Well, I feel very fortunate to have absolute trust in my sister and her judgement."

Then he was gone.

XxX

I'd forgotten about them and had left the notes I'd scribbled down on the numbers in my office. I stared at them all night. I didn't sleep. I didn't move from my desk. I just sat there and stared at those numbers trying to figure out how they could possibly be. Who or what was it that had caused such a spike? How had it been done?

My first thought was to speak to Yuzuha. If anyone could figure this out it would be her. She was an intelligent woman with a great head for numbers while I was a more flexible thinker who would get lost in them. Somehow, I felt if Yuzuha was here she'd have figured this out already and normally I wouldn't hesitate to go to her for help.

However, something I couldn't identify stopped me. At the thought of bringing someone into this investigation other than Kakashi I felt a foreboding feeling.

What if there was a person who was deliberately doing this?

The more people I brought in to help me investigate this issue...the more likely it would be for that person to realize someone was onto them. Big investigations were loud. Small investigations were easier to keep secret. I needed to keep this in a tight circle of confidants until I had something specific figured out and was ready to make a move.

I already regretted telling Tamaki and Himari about my encounter with Kakashi in my office. There was already a slim chance news of it had spread which if I were chasing a person would set them on edge. As much as my instinct was to talk to my inner circle about what was going on, I realized that it was best I did this alone.

Well, not entirely alone. It was my hope that Genma would find Kakashi and then we could go from there. When it came to trying to do this subtly having a retired ANBU on my side would be handy. Not to mention, it was only fair to include Kakashi since this was his discovery. There was also a strong possibility that, despite my words, the man had continued to investigate this on his own. He may already have something useful figured out and with me, a widely considered clearer head on this matter, to validate what he had to say...we could present our findings to Lord Hokage.

But I was getting ahead of myself. Before that I needed to figure out exactly what was going on. All I knew for sure was that the rate of miscarriages had gone through a major spike over the last three years. There could be any number of things causing it - some of them more nefarious than others. I needed to find out why the numbers were going up so drastically and I needed proof of the cause.

All I had right now was proof the numbers were going up...not why. Not how.

If I went to Lord Hokage prematurely there would be nothing he could do and, as mentioned before, if there was a person deliberately doing this they may somehow overhear.

I took out a piece of paper and began writing down a list of speculations. Enemy ninja, unintentional environmental stimuli, spike in domestic violence…

I only came up with a handful of them, but it was a start. That list gave me a rough idea of what documents I would need to pull to find possible patterns.

The first thing I would need to do would be to pull the Declarations of Paternity over the last 3 years and somehow find a way to do it without arousing suspicion. In this case my job title put me at a disadvantage. To ask for one or two Declarations wouldn't be amiss but three years' worth? Someone would notice. There would be no reason that a ninja would need that information. Even a clan head would only need the Declarations for their own clan. If I used that excuse but was then caught taking others it would be very suspicious.

So that led me to wonder...who could access those documents without seeming suspicious?

Even Lord Hokage couldn't get those documents without turning some heads. The only people who would have use for such information would be…

I started as the face of a bright-eyed, Chika Hagane flashed through my mind. Eager to please, good with numbers and, best of all, able to access any documents she wanted in excessive amounts without arousing suspicion. She was from statistics after all - that is what they did. All she would need to say is that she was doing a review of the last three years and she could access as many Declarations as she wanted.

"I could help you with that, Miss Shiranui! I'm sure I could find the time to go through the Nara birth certificates over the last 10 years and compile the data for you!"

Find the time. She hadn't said 'if she could get permission' or 'if she was able' she had merely been concerned with finding the time to do it. Accessing 10 years' worth of documentation en masse was nothing to her. She had said it so plainly that I was embarrassed it took me so long to realize it. She was the perfect person to help me with this despite the fact I knew almost nothing about her. For some reason, I didn't get that foreboding feeling like I had before when I thought about asking Yuzuha or the others for help.

I would need to be cautious, but I felt like bringing Mrs Hagane in to help me with this would be the best course of action.

XxX

Three days had passed, and I hadn't heard from Genma nor Kakashi.

I had finally found an excuse, however, to lure Mrs Hagane to my office. I'd gone through every recent file folder and form submission I had until finally, with a great deal of luck, I found one that Chika had completed.

It had been a request on property holding statistics that Hiashi Hyuuga had submitted over a month ago. During one of our meetings the Hyuuga Clan head had been curious how many of the Uchiha's 387 land holdings were sold successfully after the massacre and I had offered to submit an inquiry for him. It was an easy request as I knew Lord Hokage had a statistics report compiled shortly after the massacre so he would not have to sift through an ocean of property deeds should it come up. At the time I had a feeling someone would be keeping it up to date for at least the next few years until the information was no longer relevant.

It was my luck that Chika Hagane had been the most recent person to update the document and sign off on it. In truth she'd done an impeccable job and the documents had been very clear - I didn't doubt their accuracy. However, my plan was to pretend that an error had been discovered and have her sent for which would hopefully give me the privacy to discuss what I really wanted to.

I had been so focused on getting the younger woman alone without seeming suspicious that I hadn't considered the impact my ruse would have on her. It wasn't until she appeared in the doorway to my office that I realized what I had done. At the sight of the overwhelmed, red face of a very sorrowful Mrs Hagane I immediately felt terrible. Clearly, she was taking the prospect of having made a mistake on one of her documents extremely hard and I could see her bottom lip quiver as she came through the doorway.

"Please close the door." I said stiffly, watching as the woman flinched before moving to do as she was told. After she finished, she turned to look at me with shame and apprehension - obviously doing everything she could not to burst into tears.

"Won't you sit down?" She nodded once and moved towards my guest chair, lowering herself into it cautiously. Once she was down, she clenched her hands tightly in her lap. At the sight of her I couldn't let this go on much longer and I decided to spit out my question as soon as possible.

"Mrs Hagane, at no point in this conversation are you to raise your voice above a whisper. It's important that what we're about to say does not leave this office." The young woman didn't have any idea how to react to that statement and I saw her grapple with it silently, "First off, contrary to the message that was given when I sent for you...you have not made any mistakes I am aware of and you are not in trouble."

The woman let out a loud gush of air I hadn't been aware she'd been holding.

"W-what?" She stuttered.

"Forgive the deception but I needed you to see me in my office without it seeming too suspicious. If I'd called you up here about something work related no one would bat an eye. If I'd called you up here about anything else everyone would talk. I can't have that right now." I explained calmly.

"I'm not in trouble?" She echoed back, her face finally starting to go from red to it's normal pale colour.

"Think about it carefully, Mrs Hagane." I began, raising an eyebrow at her, "Do you think I get involved in disciplining the staff from any of the CAO's departments? It's not my job."

Her face slackened as she seemed to think about it carefully for a moment, her brows furrowing.

"O-oh," She started slowly, "I didn't think of that."

"No one else will either," I started as I leaned back in my chair, "I have a reputation for being uptight but contrary to popular belief I don't typically dole out discipline in this office."

I had been known to point out errors to department heads when they happened repeatedly, which sometimes I heard later resulted in disciplinary action, but I'd never gotten involved. Being the root cause of these incidents though had earned me a reputation. I had learned from Tamaki that there was a rumor that I took matters into my own hands and often disciplined CAO staff. It was an unfounded rumor, one that I hated, but in this case, it had worked to my advantage.

"Well then, um, Miss Shiranui...what is this about then?" The woman asked hesitantly, and I noticed with satisfaction that she was starting to calm down already. I also noticed she was following my instructions and keeping quiet.

"You remember those documents I returned to your department? Well, there's no easy way to say this, but I suspect there is something to the increase in miscarriages we're seeing." As I explained it, I pushed the piece of paper forward with the numbers I had scribbled down. The truth was that they proved nothing but it would at least remind her of how drastic a spike we'd had.

"Something to it?" She shot back immediately, though she seemed fixated on the numbers I'd just presented.

"Yes, you said yourself that they were a bit high. Don't they seem, well, unnatural to you?" I confirmed.

Without saying anything else the woman nodded in agreement.

If it had been in my nature I would have laughed at the situation. Kakashi had been in this exact room five days ago and had pointed out the same thing to me. Yet, despite the apparent trust and friendship between us I had dismissed him. Now this woman was in the same position I was back then and yet, with no bond between us except one encounter, she was easily agreeing with me. One could argue it was her naivety but regardless it made me feel worse for the way I had dismissed Kakashi.

Ignoring the indigestion-like feeling in my chest I continued.

"Whether this something is the result of acts by an individual or a change in the village it needs to be investigated. However," I paused and waited for the young woman to raise her eyes to meet mine in curiosity, "It needs to be investigated discreetly. If this is the doing of an individual, an enemy ninja for example, we can't let them know there's potential for their mission to be compromised. If we do, they won't ever be caught and we'll never really know who was behind this. Justice has already been delayed…we can't afford to have it be denied. I feel so strongly that this needs to be dealt with in secrecy, at least until we know for sure what's going on, that I have refrained from revealing my suspicions to Lord Hokage."

I watched as Chika processed this information, her eyes flicking between myself and the piece of paper in front of her.

"Miss Shiranui, I believe you and I recognize that this is very important but…" She trailed off for a moment before she met my eyes with confusion, "I just don't understand what I can do for you."

"The same thing you do every day." I told her simply, giving my shoulders a quick shrug, "We'll need to pull many documents to look into this more and I can't do that without looking suspicious. You on the other hand can access almost anything you want in any quantity."

Realization crossed her face. I watched as her eyes widened and her mouth formed a silent 'oh'.

"But why me?" She finally asked and I watched as her face went into a confused frown.

"Why not?"

XxX

I went looking for Kakashi.

I don't know why I did it - it was close to impossible for me to find him but I did it anyway.

Once Chika had agreed to help me, I had written a note to her supervisor explaining that it was, in fact, me who had made the error and that I was sorry for the confusion. The woman was relieved that she wouldn't face any disciplinary action over my fib and before she'd left, she'd vowed to get started right away. We had decided to start with the Declarations of Paternity for the last three years. Some of which were in the archives, but others were still being retained in Registrations.

I couldn't review them myself without raising questions and it would be suspicious for her to be reporting to me frequently so we'd decided that she would go through the documents and write down any trends she saw. Then, she would smuggle her notes to me on the weekends. We would repeat this process until we either ran out of documents or until we discovered something.

It was a lot of work and I was grateful for her help, but I found it difficult to relinquish some of the control. I wanted to be there myself, sifting through the documents and making notes. I had a nagging worry in the back of my mind: What if she misses something?

It couldn't be helped. If I let my desire to be involved directly win out, I would be putting our little investigation in jeopardy - especially since Lord Third seemed to materialize whenever I was looking into something.

When I got home from work that night, I'd had a simple supper of instant ramen and then, restless like I'd been all week, I decided to go looking.

I was all over the village watching rooftops, peering in shop windows, and looking down alleyways hoping to catch a glimpse of silver hair. The Izuna District, Mita District, Kamotsu District, Sakata District…the list went on and on. By the time I felt tired enough to go home I'd made it all the way to the Harashi District and all the shops were closed for the night. There were a few ramen and dumpling stands that remained open but for the most part the windows were dark.

I found myself stopping and staring absently at the Hokage faces - the forefathers of my village staring down at me in judgment. As if scolding me for doing something so fruitless and wasting my energy.

Suddenly, I had an idea.

I took off running towards the mountain and though I was panting heavily before I even made it halfway I continued onward. It took me almost an hour to reach the cliff's base and when I did I was presented with a steep, winding set of stairs that lead upward. To the top of the Hokage faces where I knew from experience I could see the whole village. Gathering the last of my strength I gripped the railing, my legs so tired and sore already that I had to drag myself up most of the way using my arms. It took me almost twenty minutes but I finally made it.

I bent to catch my breath, resting my hands on my upper thighs and panting heavily. While the staircase had been put there so civilians like myself could enjoy the view from above the cliff it was also a painful reminder that the village was built by ninja. It was hell to scale them. There was a reason civilians never came up here.

Once I caught my breath I hobbled forward until I was close to the edge of the cliff, standing directly above Lord Second's head. I took a deep breath, readying myself, but right before I was about to do what I had come there for I became nervous and stopped. I took my hand and rubbed it over my sweaty forehead, debating once more whether I wanted to do this.

Then I steeled myself again and tensed my body for what was to come.

"KAKASHI HATAKE!" I shouted as loudly as I could over the dormant village - my arms straight at my sides and my fists clenched. I had squeezed my eyes shut as if doing so would help me feel less mortified and stupid. My voice echoed embarrassingly and I felt my face go boiling hot in humiliation but despite that I continued, "PLEASE!"

Besides the echo of my own voice I was met with only silence. I let my body loosen from the way I had tensed, taking a moment to wallow in my own embarrassment. I don't know why I had done that, but I was getting desperate and with each day that Genma didn't return with Kakashi, I was getting more restless. My face was still hot from the humiliation of what I'd just done, and I raised a cold hand to touch my cheeks.

That was stupid. I wasn't a stupid woman, but this was just more proof that I was capable of stupid things regardless.

Sending silent thanks that no one seemed to have heard me, and if they had they were too far away to know who it was, I turned to leave. Only to walk right into the chest of a man. I took a quick step back and looked up sharply to see his face. I was greeted with a familiar onyx eye, which when it caught my gaze clenched shut like it belonged with a smile. Not that you could tell because of his mask.

"My my, Kiyoko. I didn't know you could be so energetic." He said in a playful tone that, after how he had been on Saturday, I'd been convinced I'd never hear again.

There he was, Kakashi Hatake.

Though he was still disheveled and in his ANBU uniform from five days ago his demeanor was once again familiar. He was standing in front of me, his posture slightly slouched and his hands buried in his pockets. This was the Kakashi from before we had lost Tobiro.

At the sight of him, I felt like I had indigestion and without thinking I brought a hand up to clench the fabric over my chest. His single visible eye opened again, and I saw it zero in on where my hand was. Suddenly self-conscious I quickly dropped it and, realizing he really had heard me, fought with the redness that began seeping back onto my face. I didn't know what to say and instead stayed silent which he appeared to take as an invitation to speak.

"What have I done to have my name shouted from the top of Lord Second's head for all to hear?" He inquired. While his tone was light, I could sense a tension about him and knew that he was being serious. He wanted a serious answer.

I felt my throat go dry and my embarrassment was abruptly overshadowed by the reminder of how I had treated him that day. Of how I hadn't believed him. The guilt I had been feeling since I realized what I had done to him was back in full force and it took everything I had to meet his eyes.

"I'm sorry, Kakashi." I hadn't really planned what I would say when I saw him but in my mind I had vaguely imagined something better. The apology was all I could manage right now when faced with his intense stare. I silently cursed myself for not being better at expressing myself - for not having thought of some wonderful, heartfelt speech. He deserved better than a simple 'I'm sorry'.

"For what?" He didn't hesitate to respond and he sounded genuinely confused.

I swallowed.

"Roughly six months ago I made you earn my trust and I told you that you had it. But then when you came to me and, though not in so many words, asked me to trust you...I didn't." I went silent for a moment as I reflected on that day when Kakashi had desperately attempted to get me to listen to him. Kakashi seemed to think I was done and started to say my name, but I held up a hand to stop him. He fell silent quickly.

I decided it was time to tell him.

"I care about you, Kakashi." I took a deep breath afterwards as the words had been a struggle. Except for Genma and Atsuko, I had never admitted aloud that I cared for anyone. I cared for lots of people, but I'd never said it. "You're my friend...but when you needed me, I pushed you away. I don't expect you to forgive me for what happened, but I do want you to know I'm sorry."

"Kiyoko," He began almost chidingly, "there's nothing to forgive. Stop beating yourself up...you didn't do anything wrong. Well, okay, you did send Genma after me and that's been pretty annoying the last few days but that's not really something you owe me an apology for."

I furrowed my brow at his off-handed comment.

"You know Genma is looking for you?" I questioned.

"Of course." He shrugged in a non-committal fashion and I felt the corner of my lip twitch, fighting back a smile. He acted like dodging Genma was like flicking an insect off his shoulder. "It wouldn't be so annoying if he weren't so persistent - what he lacks in speed he more than makes up for with dedication. I can see how he keeps up with Gai's training regiment."

I couldn't help the one syllable chuckle that came from my throat and I turned my head away so Kakashi wouldn't see my small smile. The thought of anyone, especially Genma, keeping up with Gai's training was laughable. Not because I thought Genma couldn't keep up but because I knew he could only keep up if he sacrificed his dignity. I could imagine how ridiculous my brother had made himself look while trying to keep up with his green-clad friend.

My moment of humor soon faded, however, and I was brought back to the reason I was so desperate to find Kakashi in the first place.

"Kakashi…" I started, trailing off for a few moments while I avoided his eyes. I opted instead to look back out over the village - primarily dark except for the occasional streetlight and the moon. "I think you were right. There's something else going on."

"I know." He replied without hesitation, his tone hardening, and I was reminded once more that no matter how harmless he behaved around me he was still a jonin of Konoha. He was still an elite killer. His shift in disposition only gave me a moment's pause before I continued.

"Come with me, please."