"It isn't possible to love and part. You will wish that it was. You can transmute love, ignore it, muddle it, but you can never pull it out of you. I know by experience that the poets are right: love is eternal."

― E.M. Forster, A Room with a View

It had been a week since Will had uttered those words. A week since JJ had sent her first text. A week since Emily had read the text and not responded. Emily knew that it wasn't JJ's fault but it didn't make it easier to swallow. She had so far avoided the blonde's calls and texts, and one avoided JJ coming over. But this time she wasn't so lucky. They had just returned from her ultrasound appointment and JJ's vehicle pulled up behind them.

"Fuck."

Derek shrugged. "You're gonna have to talk to her some time, Em." He said, putting his truck into park. Squeezing her hand, he climbed out and greeted their friend before disappearing through the front door. Emily climbed out of the truck and gave JJ a silent look.

"I've texted you."

Emily nodded. "Yeah, I know. I got them."

The blonde sighed and ran her fingers through her hair. "Can we talk?"

Shrugging, Emily led her to the back yard and pulled out two chairs. "Then talk."

"Em, I'm so sorry. I didn't know what Will had said. It was rude and insensitive of him." JJ said softly. "I...was so angry with him. We got into it when we got home."

Picking at her nails, Emily finally looked up at her best friend. "Do you two talk about us like that? That maybe us not getting pregnant is a sign from God?"

"We're not even religious." JJ said quickly. "And as if we should talk, we certainly didn't do things in the right order." Reaching out slowly for her best friend's hand, she stopped her from destroying her nails and squeezed it. "And no, I don't think that." JJ assured Emily. "You and Derek will be amazing parents and you deserve to be a mother."

Glancing up at JJ, Emily gave her a tight lipped smile. "Okay." She whispered softly. "It just really hurt, JJ. We've spent so much money and time…"

"I know." JJ said quietly. "I know you have, and you'll get your baby."

They sat in silence until Derek emerged from the house with glasses of lemonade. Placing them on the table, he leaned down and gave Emily a soft kiss before heading back inside. JJ gave Emily a smile shaking her head slightly. "You two are pretty perfect, you know that?"

"Except for the whole barren thing." Emily retorted twisting her hair up in a ponytail. She exhaled loudly and looked at JJ. "I'm sorry. It wasn't you that said those things, but it hurt. And I'm a bit more emotional than I normally am." She mumbled.

JJ picked up the glass and wiped the condensation off. "It's the extra hormones." She said quietly. "I love you, Em. And I love Derek. There is nothing more I want than to see you and Derek as parents. I promise you that I am sending all the good karma into the world for you and Derek. Speaking of which, how are things going?"

Emily sighed and picked up her own glass. "Today is the last ultrasound appointment for the next little while so we'll see." She said softly. "I can just hope. But it feels like sometimes that….what Will said was right. That God is sending us a sign that babies aren't in our future."

JJ shook her head. "Will was being an idiot and an asshole. You and Derek will have babies. They'll probably be all super impulsive and throw themselves into things. But they'll be adorable "

They visited for the next little bit before JJ headed home and Emily picked up the glasses and walked inside. Derek looked over and gave her a smile. "You and JJ friends again?"

Shrugging, Emily dropped herself into his lap and wrapped her arms around his neck. "Yeah." She said softly. "I'm still pissed off at Will and I know that it's not JJ's fault...but…"

"I know, Princess." Derek whispered softly. "How about we go have sex, will that make you feel better? And according to the calendar, you should be ovulating."

Emily rolled her eyes and started to laugh. "Oh Derek, you know exactly what to say to get me hot and bothered."

He laughed and stood up, her arms still looped around his neck.

She felt like shit. Her head hurt and her dizzy spells were worse and she was sick to her stomach, but there was no way in hell she was going to tell Derek that. He would make her go to the doctor and probably take her off of the hormones.

Sighing, she went into the debriefing room and sat down. Case in San Francisco with a mass shooting. Everyone filled in the room, her stomach lurching at the smell of Luke's breakfast burrito.

"You okay, boss?"

Emily nodded and got to her feet, choosing to stand behind Rossi. "Fine. Penelope go ahead." She focused on what was being said, swallowing hard. Reaching for her bottle of water, she took a few tentative sips as a wave of nausea washed over her. "Alright, wheels up in 20." She said as Penelope finished and tried to walk out as quickly as she could without raising suspicions.

She wasn't going to vomit, at least not at work. Sighing, she pulled her hair up in a ponytail. They had babysat Noah a few days earlier and the young boy had brought home a bug from daycare. So much for being indestructible. Grabbing a couple of gingerales out of her fridge and then a bottle of pepto, she tossed them in her go bag and headed to meet the rest of the team.

In the sky, Emily filled her glass full of ice and poured half a glass of gingerale. She sipped it slowly as she flipped through the file. She could feel Tara and JJ's eyes on her and she sighed, looking over at her friends. "Yes?"

"You okay?"

Emily shrugged and sipped her gignerale. "Yeah, I'm fine. We babysat Noah last week and he had the flu. Guess I got a touch of it."

The other two women nodded and didn't say much until it was time to go through the files. By the time they landed, she had started to feel a bit better and just brushed it off and got to work. The next day her stomach was still touchy, but she was feeling much better. Sipping on her tea, she focused on the case in front of them. By the end of the week she was still tired and sometimes nauseous, but seemed no worse for wear.

They were all too happy to head home. Derek had been in Nebraska and was just heading home as well. She beat him back by a couple of hours and had showered and changed and headed out back. Grabbing a book, she cuddled up on the chair and sipped her sparkling water.

She was still out back when Derek returned with a pizza. He was freshly showered and shaved, but his face and eyes tired. Getting up, she put the pizza on the table in the back yard and wrapped her arms around him. "You okay?"

Nodding, Derek rested his chin on the top of her head. "Yeah, I'm okay now. Are you on call this weekend?"

Emily shook her head. "No. You?"

"No."

They stayed in each other's arms until Emily finally wiggled out. "We should probably eat the pizza before it gets cold." She said softly, opening the box. Both of them were good at compartmentalizing with their jobs and only offering advice when the other asked for it.

"Do I smell pepperoni?" Mackenzie popped her head over the fence with a grin. "The things you give up for love." She commented with the wave of a hand.

Laughing softly, Derek pressed a kiss to Emily's forehead. "I guess so, it's pork. SO how are you guys doing? It feels like forever since we've seen each other."

"We're good. Yeah, I was on the Patrick Henry running a JAGMAN investigation and then a court martial." Mackenzie said with a small shrug. "Glad to be back on solid ground and I don't have to listen to fighter jets take off and land all night. JJ came and talked to us to apologize before I left."

Emily nodded and walked over to the fence. "Yeah, she came over and apologized as well."

"I told her that I've been called worse by far better people." The younger woman replied. Noah walked up to the fence and jammed his little fingers in between the slats and pulled himself up.

"Emmy, up." He ordered softy.

Mackenzie reached for Noah and passed him over the fence and the little boy cuddled in her arms.

"We asked him if he wanted a little brother or sister." Mackenzie said with a shake of her head.

"And?"

Noah looked up and smiled. "No fank you." He announced proudly. After a few moments he crawled out of Emily's arms and ran over to Derek before returning to Emily. He pressed his little hands against her abdomen and smiled. "Baby baby." He announced.

Emily stiffened, and ran her fingers through Noah's hair. "No buddy, there's no baby."

"Yeah baby." Noah repeated looking at Derek who had walked over, his arm around his wife's shoulders. "Dek, baby."

The tears threatened to fall and Mackenzie quickly walked around the fence to grab Noah. "Okay No, it's time to go back inside. She gave Emily and Derek a tight lipped smile. "I'm so sorry."

Noah frowned and shook his head. "No sowwy. BABY!"

Sighing, Mackenzie threw her son over her shoulder and turned, heading around the fence. She closed the gate and headed inside. Once Emily knew he was inside, she turned and buried her face in Derek's chest, her hot tears soaking his shirt.

"It's okay, Em." Derek whispered, his fingers softly carding through her hair. "Noah didn't mean anything by it."

After a few moments of silence, Emily pulled back and sighed, her eyes still red and wet. "I know." She mumbled, wiping her eyes. "But...what if we never get that chance?"

"We will. I have faith." He whispered. "Let's eat and then I'll go up and draw a bath."

Nodding, Emily walked over to the table and picked up a piece of pizza, nibbling at it. His dark eyes watched her silently, eating his own piece of pizza. "Are you sure you're okay, Em?" He asked, finally watching as she barely finished the piece of pizza.

"Yeah, I'm...I dunno. I think the stress of everything is getting to me. Just feeling a bit off." She admitted, picking up another piece of pizza and eating about half of it.

He nodded. "You need to relax more."

Emily sighed. "You know, but you know how it goes in our jobs." She said taking one final bite of pizza before putting it aside.

Nodding in agreement, Derek finished a couple more pieces before tossing their plates in the trash and cleaning up. "Maybe we should go to a doctor just in case, it seems to be taking longer for you to get over the flu."

Eyes narrowing, Emily shook her head. "Derek, three days ago you were puking your guts out. I'll be okay." She said with a small smile.

"Okay, Princess. Do you want to take a bath?"

She smiled, a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes. "Sure, that sounds great." Folding up the pizza box, Emily put it in the fridge before locking up the house and heading upstairs. Derek already had the bath drawn, bubbles and bath oils, candles lit along the edge of the tub.

"You spoil me, you know that?" Emily whispered softly, standing on her tiptoes and pressing a soft kiss on his lips.

Derek grinned. "I know, and you deserve every single minute of it. Now, if you excuse me, preseason hockey is on and I want to watch my Hawks kick the Leafs' ass." He said returning her kiss. "You have go have a soak and finish your book."

Nodding, she grabbed her novel off the nightstand and stripped off her clothes. Glancing over her shoulder, she blushed seeing Derek's eyes on her. She sauntered off to the washroom, sinking into the steaming water and opening a book.

"Hopefully you're not too tired after your bath." Derek called as he stood in the doorway, staring at his wife.

She smiled back softly. "I'm never too busy for you, Husband." Her eyes sparkled as they lowered to the open page and she sunk into the water.