I felt like kicking myself for chickening out and running away, but telling Kanda that I was pregnant was not something I should do while I was on my way out the door, running late for class. That was why I'd been planning to tell him at dinner, so that we could have the whole evening to talk about it. If only I hadn't ruined it by falling asleep. But I had at least managed to tell him about Friday's dinner, so the night wasn't a total wash.

It was hard to focus on my classes now that I knew beyond a doubt that I was pregnant. If I had the timing right in my head, I was going to start showing long before my final concerts, which meant outing myself as a woman before the school year was over. There was a chance that I might be able to convince everyone that I was simply getting fat from stress eating, but I highly doubted that that would work. I was going to have to stop being Allen before I graduated.

But I had more pressing worries at the moment. Like my appointment with my advisor.

Today was my last day to drop classes without having to formally withdraw from them. If I was going to go through with my pregnancy, I was going to have to lighten my course load. And to do that, I needed to speak with my advisor.

And that was something that would have been a whole lot easier if Bridget weren't one of my professors. I had taken several of her classes - and was currently enrolled in one - and pissing her off was not something that I wanted to risk doing. So it was with great trepidation that I followed her to her office after class that day.

She sat down at her desk and gave me a look that was meant to come across as helpful but just looked menacing in my stressed out state. "So, Allen, what can I help you with today? Your email was pretty vague."

I bit my lip and resisted the urge to wrap my arms protectively around my middle - I was going to do everything that I possibly could to get through this meeting without telling her I was pregnant. "I need your help figuring out which of my classes I can drop while still being able to graduate at the end of the semester."

Bridget just laughed as she typed something on her computer, probably pulling up my schedule. "I told you during registration last fall that you were trying to do too much, but you didn't want to listen to me."

I shook my head at that. "The schedule is fine. I had some family stuff come up, and I need a little bit more free time to deal with it."

"I'm sorry to hear that." Bridget frowned, clearly assuming that my 'family stuff' was some sort of terminal illness. She immediately focused on her computer, typing and clicking various things that I assumed were my academic record. "Well, with the exception of Senior Recital, all of your classes are electives, so you don't have to worry about that, and it looks like you'll be able to graduate even if you drop all of them. Are you still living in the dorms?"

That was what I loved about having Bridget as my advisor. She was great with all those details and figured out in just a couple minutes what would have taken me hours to work out on my own. "I am."

Bridget nodded and turned her attention back to the computer screen. "Then we just have to make sure you don't drop below eight credits. Which in your case would mean ... you have to keep at least one class in addition to the one you can't drop. So, do you already have an idea of what you want to drop? I hope it's not my class."

I laughed. "No, I haven't really thought about that yet. I wanted to know if it was even possible before I made the decision."

We went through my classes one by one and discussed the pros and cons of each of them. I was having an especially hard time with it because I liked all of them and didn't actually want to drop any of them - I was doing this because I had to, not because I wanted to. And that was something that Bridget caught onto way too quickly. "You came to me, Allen. If you don't want to drop any of your classes, why'd you waste both of our times scheduling this meeting?"

I sighed, sharing her frustration, and I found the truth slipping out. "... I don't want to drop anything. My schedule may be hectic, but I enjoy all of my classes too much for that. But I'm pregnant. I need to have time to focus on my health. And that means that I have to drop a class or two. Either that or quit my job, but if I do that then I won't have the money to pay for school. So this is what I have to do."

Bridget had been nodding along in understanding, but then she suddenly froze. I didn't have to hear her question to know what had made her stop. "Wait. Did you say 'pregnant'? How are you pregnant? What-?"

I cut her off as quickly as I could. "I'm biologically female. Can we just leave it at that?"

The wild-eyed stare lasted a moment longer before she smiled. "Of course. Let's get back to the issue at hand. When are you due?"

I scowled; that was definitely not getting back on topic. "September."

"Good. I don't have to suggest that you to take the semester off." She laughed, but it faded when I didn't join in. "Well, now that I know why you're lightening your course load, I think I've got a much better idea of what your needs are. So, if you drop Advanced Composition, you wouldn't have to be at class at seven in the morning, and you'd be able to sleep in a little, but as your advisor, I can't let you do that - no matter what I think of that tool teaching it. I've seen you play, and I've seen you write, and that is definitely one of your strengths.

"Which just leaves the other three. You can drop them all if you want, and let's face it, as a woman, that's what I think you should do, but as your advisor... I'll tell you again what I told you last fall. You may want to take those classes, but I don't think they're going to help you with your career. So pick one and drop the other two."

I had to admit that what she said made a lot of sense. "Ok. But which one?"

In the end, I ended up keeping Bridget's class, simply because she already knew I was pregnant and was therefore one less person I'd have to explain it to. I felt a little disappointed over dropping the other two classes, but this was what was best for my health. And I had successfully told someone about my pregnancy, which hopefully meant that I was one step closer to finding the confidence to tell Kanda.