There is 4.2k words ahead, hold on to your horses! But, I must ask - is warning y'all about longer chapters even worth it at this point? Lol, hey seem to get longer and longer-!
"Gavin, you don't have to do this," Nines insisted, grabbing Gavin's arm.
Gavin turned around and looked at Nines. "Love, you're acting up again. I heard how much you were struggling, I know how much you hate yourself because of this. But this can be fixed, I just need to get you to my dickhead of a brother."
"I don't want to put you through the rage, grief and anguish I know you will experience by seeing him," Nines replied. "You discovered his state of wellbeing yesterday and it resulted in you assaulting Hank."
"The thing didn't hit him," Gavin said.
"You still threw it at him, Gavin."
"True but also… Die. Wait, no, don't do that. Death is illegal. Please don't die."
"I'll try my best not to," Nines said.
"I promise when we see Elijah I will not smash his head in," Gavin said. "I'll probably yell at him, but I won't-"
"Gavin," Nines said sharply. "Please, please think about this. It's a huge decision, and extremely dangerous."
"Can you have this argument somewhere else?" Amy suddenly cut in.
"Right. Bye," Gavin said. He took Nines' hand and they walked towards the exit of the lab. "Nines, please, he can fix you."
"It's dangerous," Nines replied.
Gavin sighed deeply. In the hallway, the pair power-walked through it. It would forever be an area that made their skin crawl due to the memories attached to a place that was eerily similar. Like every other time, Gavin clung to Nines' side.
"They have to fix that, seriously," Gavin said.
"They do," Nines agree. "Perhaps the walls could be painted. We can talk to Lillain about it."
"M'kay."
The two walked in silence up to their bedroom, but the tension in the air between them was thick. They knew that their argument would continue as soon as they stepped through that bedroom door - which is exactly what happened. As soon as they were in their room and the door had shut behind them, Gavin spoke.
"You are going to end up killing me if you don't get fixed."
Nines looked at Gavin as a look of horror crossed his face, like he was fighting against the mental imagery of attacking Gavin again, or the memories of his attempted murder. Which is exactly what Nines was doing. The thought of harming Gavin again in any way shattered his metaphorical heart into pieces.
"Gavin, please don't make me think about that."
"If you do kill me, you wouldn't be able to live with yourself," Gavin continued. He knew that Nines was becoming emotionally vulnerable, and he needed to convince him that leaving to see Elijah Kamski was the right idea - even if Gavin wanted so desperately wanted to punch up his stupid, smug face.
There was a knock at the door.
"Not now," Gavin said.
"Can I come in?" Connor's voice asked from the other side of the door.
"Ugh, fine, whatever," Gavin answered. Both men looked at the door as Connor walked into the door, shutting the door tentatively behind him.
"Are you two okay?" Connor asked.
"Connor, help me convince Nines that seeing Elijah Kamski is the correct idea," Gavin said, ignoring his questionly.
Connor looked over to Nines' distraught face and he frowned. "I don't think I should take sides in this."
These androids are testing my patience, Gavin thought as he forced back an eyeroll. Always making me do this shit myself. Because I definitely do all of these things myself. Yep. All me.
"Nines, if we don't go and see Elijah Kamski, you're going to end up trying to kill me again," Gavin said.
Connor realised quickly what was happening. "Gavin, please stop-"
"You might actually kill me this time! You will never be able to live with yourself if you end up with me dead knowing you killed me! My blood will be on your hands!"
"Gavin, stop this right now!" Connor yelled. "Nines' stress level is getting too high, you're upsetting him too much! Stop!"
Gavin took a step forward so he was closer to Nines. Connor's words were just encouraging; Gavin was getting closer to convincing Nines.
"You'll. Kill. Me."
Connor grabbed Gavin's arm and yanked him backward. Connor turned Gavin to face him, and Gavin saw a look of anger in Connor's eyes that he had never seen on that soft doll face of his.
"Connor, what if he turned on you? Or me? Would you want him to suffer? What would you do!?"
"That won't happen, Gavin," Connor answered. "Nines won't hurt us, and we won't have to hurt him."
"If we don't fix him, then someone is going to end up dying."
"Gavin, sometimes I think you're a better person, but then you do things like this that prove that you are a piece of shit. You are a piece of human garbage and seeing you treat your boyfriend like this makes part of me wish that we never risked our lives to save you. You think you're entitled to everything! Take a step back and try to think of other people, because those are a thing! Don't you ever do this again."
Gavin looked over from Connor's look of stern anger to see Nines devastated expression, and he instantly realised how much of a dick he was as Connor's words sunk in. Gavin seriously thought that upsetting and manipulating Nines' feelings into emotional submission, which is not and never will be a reasonable thing to do.
"Nines…" Gavin pried away from Connor's touch and walked over to Nines. "Nines, I am so sorry."
A tear streamed down Nines' cheek. Gavin had fucked up big time. "No. I am not going to make excuses for you. You hurt me, and now I am going to give myself time to heal from the damage you caused me." Nines looked at Connor. "May I sleep in the room you share with Hank for a few nights?"
"Wait," Gavin interrupted with dismay. He didn't want Nines to leave. "How can I make this up to you?"
"By trying to be a good boyfriend and understanding that I need time to feel better," Nines said sharply. "Once I decide to, we will go and see Elijah Kamski. Only because I know that I need to get better, and get this phantom out of my body. I suggest you spend these days wisely and try to get yourself in order. You should not be as dependent on me as you are."
Connor nodded in agreement of Nines' decision. "I think that this is for the best."
"And in case I didn't make it clear enough," Nines added, "This means that we will be taking a break relationship wise."
Gavin bit back a pained protest. He knew that this was for the best, and he needed to face the consequences to his actions. Trying to break down Nines to try to get him to agree to doing something was horrible, and not necessary.
"Who's going to be staying with me, if Nines isn't?" Gavin instead asked quietly.
"I will, because I don't need to sleep in a bed," Connor replied.
"Okay," Gavin said. "Both of you, will you kindly fuck off and just get out please?"
"Okay, but later when it's time to sleep you won't be able to kick me out," Connor said. He turned and left with Nines. Gavin heard Connor say, "You made the right choice and I'm proud of you."
Gavin walked over to the door and closed it, then went over to his bed and sat down. He put his face in his hands and sat there in that position, and he started to murmur to himself, "I'm so stupid, I'm so stupid…"
He then stood up and stopped sulking. In this time, Gavin would actually make himself useful and start on a plan to go and see Elijah Kamski for help with Nines.
That night, Gavin had fallen asleep in his bed after a prolonged time of just laying there and thinking about his trashiness. But his sleep, if it ever was sound, did not last long. He was having a dream, and in said dream, Gavin had just screamed at Nines that he never loved him and that he was using him. Gavin had to watch himself say something he would never say. He saw the heartbroken look on Nines' face and tears began to cascade down Gavin's cheeks like a waterfall. This dream version of Gavin was so heartless, so cruel - the person beneath the masquerade, the person hidden deep within.
Gavin's dream quickly flipped, and Gavin was suddenly seeing himself in a third person point of view struggling against a corrupted Nines, and trying to tackle the pistol out of his hand. The corrupted Nines put his gun against Gavin's head and pulled the trigger. Gavin saw himself drop to the floor, blood gushing out of the wound, as Nines returned back to the normal. Nines fell onto his knees and began to sob, and before Gavin could comprehend, Nines made sure that he himself was reduced to a corpse.
Gavin woke up drenched in sweat with tears pouring down his cheeks, and his heart beating faster than a cheetah could run. He sat up, panting, and looked over at Connor. Gavin knew Connor could hear him.
"Connor, I need a hug."
No response.
"Connor, please, I had a horrible dream."
Connor remained an appearance that made himself look like he was asleep, and Gavin realised that he wouldn't be getting any help. And honestly? He couldn't really blame Connor for doing that, even though it did kinda sting. Gavin just lay back down and spent at least two hours awake until he could finally fall asleep.
A week passed. A week of Gavin planning how they will get to Elijah's home and back. A week of Nines looking at Gavin with hurt and some longing. A week of Gavin waking up every night due to a nightmare with no one to soothe him - Connor had ignored it, showing silent refusal to help.
Gavin was sitting in his room at the desk, which was scattered with some papers that he had been writing on. He had talked with a couple who had agreed to help hotwire and put fuel in any suitable car they find in the closest street to the mansion. As he wrote down a potential backup plan, there was a knock at the door.
"Come in," Gavin said.
He glanced up at the opening door. It was Nines.
"Hi," Gavin greeted. He wasn't really sure what to say.
"Hello." Nines walked over to the desk. "What is all this?"
"Planning for when we go see Kamski," Gavin answered.
Nines nodded. "Alright, good idea. I came to inform you that I am willing to return, and resume our relationship, on the condition that you never gaslight me ever again."
"I promise, I never will," Gavin said. "I swear. I am disgusted at myself for doing it."
"Good." Nines leaned down and he kissed Gavin's temple. Gavin stood up and gave Nines a deep kiss on the lips before tugging him into a tight embrace. Gavin rested his head on Nines' shoulder.
"I've missed you, tincan," Gavin mumbled into his shoulder. He felt a hand fall on the back of his head and stroke it softly.
"I've missed you too, Gavin. But you know why I did what I did."
"Right."
"Gavin, Connor said you had nightmares," Nines said, pulling away from the hug just enough to look into Gavin's eyes. His own were filled with concern. "Is everything alright?"
"Yeah… Just some shit about the tunnels, the day where androids took over, the abuse from the androids back at wherever we were, shit like that," Gavin said. He wasn't lying - he did have nightmares with those themes. But a nightmare that he could never mention was seeing Nines shoot Gavin and then himself.
He had also had a nightmare of Connor being forced to shoot a completely corrupted Nines. It had felt so real, but Gavin knew that something like that would never happen. As long as they were going to see Elijah Kamski, everything will be okay. It had to be.
"I'm so sorry. It must be terrible, having your mind forcing you to relive those moments," Nines said softly. He gave Gavin a kiss on the forehead. "I'm here now, baby boy."
Baby boy. That nickname made Gavin feel giddy, and he felt heat flooding his cheeks. Damn it. Fucking stupid ass blush.
"Thanks, uh, big man," Gavin said before face-palming at his own stupidity. "This is why I don't do the gay."
"This is why you do do the gay," Nines retorted.
"Nah, I'm a bottom, remember?"
Nines snorted in amusement. "Openly admitting that is a very bold move, bottom."
"No you." Gavin gently flicked Nines' head before looking down at the table. "Wanna review my notes? I probably missed something big."
Nines nodded and he sat down at the desk. He activated a quick scan so his eyes barely grazed over the words as he soaked in and processed all of the information in front of him. "You have bad handwriting," Nines commented.
"Thanks, it's because I'm gay."
"Those two things have no correlation whatsoever, but alright."
Gavin waited silently as Nines did whatever his cool android program thing did to read stuff quickly. After about a minute, Nines looked at Gavin and asked, "Gavin. What if he says no?"
I don't want to think about that.
"He won't."
"Are you sure?"
"I'm positive," Gavin insisted. "I'm his brother. He won't turn me away."
"Alright. I trust you." Nines stood up and pushed the chair in neatly under the desk. "Other than that, this plan should do well. I am pleasantly surprised that you have the ability to think for yourself and create a plan like that."
"I am pleasantly surprised I haven't perished you yet."
Nines rolled his eyes. "Okay, Gavin. We should go down and grab some food, don't you think? Then we can ask Connor if he wants to join us on our journey. We are not doing this alone."
"Damn it, okay," Gavin replied. "What about Hank?"
"He's a little old to risk taking this journey," Nines said. "Getting us in the tunnels was probably the rest of adventuring he'd want to do in his life."
"Yeah, probably. I'm just surprised you didn't want to invite him along, not saying I want him coming."
Nines chuckled. "I love you, Gavin."
"Love you too, tincan."
Nines stretched out his hand, a silent offering for Gavin to hold it - an offering accepted. Gavin took Nines' hand and even gave it a little squeeze. He gave Nines a smile, and Nines gave a sweet one back.
I am so gay for you, Gavin adoringly thought. "We are gay."
"We most certainly are," Nines agreed. "Let's go and get some food."
Together, Gavin and Nines grabbed themselves some dinner from the food hall, then they walked outside where they sat on the porch. Nines ate some thirium-based pasta, and Gavin ate chicken wings and fries. They talked about whatever random topic came to mind, and then Gavin suggested, "We should go run in the forest and forget about life for a while."
Nines smiled. "I like that idea."
The pair set down their empty plates and just left them on the porch. Nines would usually make a fuss about cleaning it up, but the two were going to let go of their worries, even if only temporarily. Hand in hand, Nines and Gavin ran out towards the forest. They ran deep into it, but not too far so they could retrace their steps (which Nines could easily do, but it was more fun to try to navigate by human memory).
Gavin and Nines stopped as soon as they got to a clearing. The gap in the trees let the softening lights of pre-dusk shine down upon the grass that was glistening due to recent rain. Lining the clearing were young, luscious fern fronds that were unfurling beside a few scattered rocks, with some clumps of disarrayed flowers that Gavin was unable to identify.
Nearby, Gavin heard a bird proudly singing the lovely song that it had, and the gentle rushing of water. Next to the clearing, hugging it like a protecting arm, was a tiny stream. Water trickled smoothly over the pebbles within - it would be no more than two and a half feet deep.
"This is so beautiful," Gavin said. He took a deep inhale through his nose, letting the fresh scents of nature send serotonin throughout his body. He didn't know until that moment how much he needed this - how much he just needed to be out in nature without the fear of being attacked or hunted.
"It is. It was a good idea to come out here," Nines said.
Gavin walked over to the stream and sat down beside him, right on the shore that was a mix of dirt, tiny rock fragments, and dark sand. He dipped his hand into the surprisingly clear water, letting the cold water wash over his hand. He cupped it up in his hand and brought it to his lips, taking a sip.
"I advise against drinking stream water, it is not an absolute necessity," Nines said.
"I don't have any fucks to give, let me enjoy this."
Nines chuckled softly. "Alright. I wouldn't be enough to harm you, anyway."
Gavin cupped more water into his hands and splashed it against his face. This natural water felt so refreshing, so right to be in contact with.
"I never used to take advantage of living near a forest like this," Gavin said. "I guess I just took the life I had for granted."
"You would have never guessed that anything like this would happen."
Gavin shrugged. "Suppose not, considering that Markus seemed to want peace. Now? Who the hell knows what he wants."
Nines looked down at the water silently, and Gavin did the same. He leaned forward and saw his reflection, which was distorted and faded because the stream was literally just flowing water.
"Do you think that seeing Elijah is a good idea?" Gavin asked out of the blue. He was beginning to have his doubts.
"Yes, I believe it will be worth it. You said yourself that if I don't go and see him and get fixed up, then I'll end up hurting someone. I will never want to do that, so yes, this is the correct move to make."
Gavin nodded. "Okay. Thanks, Nines. I love you."
"I love you too."
Nines leaned over, and Gavin closed the gap. The pair shared a deep, sensual kiss, and pulled away once Gavin needed to breathe. He was not going to loudly inhale through his nose today.
Gavin shuffled closer to Nines and rested his head on his shoulder. "When do you think we should go and see my dumb fuck brother?"
"I suggest we start moving tomorrow. The sooner, the better," Nines said. "We can ask Connor once we return."
Gavin nodded. He grasped Nines' hand again and squeezed it softly. "Nines, when we were separated, did you have any more… Outbursts? I don't know what to call them."
"Yes. I would lock myself into Connor and Hank's bathroom until it passed," Nines said. He squeezed his eyes shut as if he was reliving a painful memory. "Every time, it would happen for longer. It was so hard to get a grip on myself. I pray that when we drive to Kamski's house tomorrow, that it will not happen again."
"Yeah, that'd be so shit," Gavin said. "Just hold on, okay? I'm sure you can push through until we get there. And when we get there, Elijah can help you."
Nines nodded. He didn't voice his bubbling concerns that he had. Knowing the type of person that Kamski is, I doubt that he will agree to helping me. Not without some sort of catch, Nines thought. But I shall go, with the little piece of me that believes Kamski may have some decency buried beneath the evil.
Gavin and Nines sat in silence, watching the stream flow with water and the occasional bird fly nearby. After about twenty minutes passed, Gavin stood up, and instantly began to complain about having pins and needles in his leg.
"Which one?" Nines asked.
"Right. Why?"
"I shall step on it. That will help relive it faster."
"What the fuck- okay, whatever, do it."
Nines stood up and stepped on Gavin's foot a few times. It hurt in the weird pins and needles way, and then the distinct feeling dissolved.
"Thanks," Gavin said, shaking his leg out to dismiss the rest of the dwelling sensation.
"Of course," Nines replied. "We should return to the mansion now."
"Yeah. Let's go."
Hand in hand, and with the guidance of Gavin's memory, the pair navigated through the dense forest. On the way back, they distantly saw a deer jumping through the forest with a fawn in tow. Gavin made a kind comment about how he was glad that despite the state of the world, nature will always continue to flourish and grow as if nothing had changed.
They eventually made it back to the mansion after they had gotten lost twice due to Gavin's bad memory. Their abandoned dishes were absent, therefore someone else had taken them back to the kitchen, and furthermore, Gavin and Nines could simply return to their bedroom and forget that it even existed.
They walked into the mansion and walked up the staircase that led to their room. Instead of going directly there, they walked to Connor and Hank's room and knocked on the door.
"The fuck? What do you want?" Hank asked from inside.
"Gavin and I wish to speak with Connor," Nines replied.
"Whatever. Come in, shut the door behind ya."
Nines opened the door and walked inside with Gavin following closely behind. Connor was standing idly against the wall, and Gavin noticed that he was on charge.
"Connor?" Nines said.
Connor's LED flashed yellow and he looked over at Nines. "Oh, hello." He stepped off of the wireless charging plate and walked over to Gavin and Nines.
"Hey Connor, we were wondering if you'd like to join us tomorrow when we go to see Elijah."
Hank, who was sitting on the bed, swung around to look at them with curiosity.
"Oh? Well, hmm. Okay, I'll come," Connor agreed. "You probably need someone else along with you. How are we getting there?"
"We're gonna hotwire and fill a car with fuel," Gavin replied.
"That sounds fun," Connor said. "I'm in, definitely."
"I'm going to skip this one out," Hank said sharply, as if annoyed that no one had offered to him for him to join them.
"We thought you would," Nines said. "This journey should be done by us three."
"Whatever," Hank grumbled. "So, you're actually going to see good ol' Kamski?"
"Of course," Gavin replied. "We have to free Nines of his… Issue. I don't know what to call it."
"Anything works," Nines replied with a shrug.
"Have fun, and good luck. Last time I went there, it did not go well," Hank said casually.
What. "Hold the fuck up," Gavin said. "The last time you went there? Have you been to his house?"
"Yeah, I thought you knew. Connor and I had to see him as a part of a case. But you wouldn't know. You hated us back then."
Gavin felt a wave of awkwardness wash over him, and he shrugged. "Yeah, okay, so I did. That was then. This is now."
"Indeed," Nines said. "Tomorrow, Connor, we shall leave some time in the morning."
"Alright. I will continue to charge overnight so I am refreshed and ready. Gavin, you should make sure to get a good sleep," Connor suggested.
"I'll try my best," Gavin responded. "Goodnight, everyone. We have a big day ahead of us."
He took Nines' hand, which was the same as usual - warm and soft, and always sits perfectly within Gavin's own. Nines' hand was gentle and flooding with some strange sense of pureness, whilst Gavin's was scarred and calloused. But Nines' flawless skin and Gavin's scars all had stories to tell.
Hand in hand, Gavin and Nines left Connor and Hank's room, Nines closing the door behind them. They went back to their bedroom where Gavin quickly got changed into a kitty pyjama top and plain sweatpants.
"Nice shirt," Nines said teasingly.
"Die," Gavin replied.
"I would prefer not to."
Nines lay down in their bed, and then Gavin got into it next to him. He cuddled up to Nines' chest and closed his eyes. Nines put his arms around Gavin and pulled him closer to his body.
"I love you," Gavin said, closing his eyes. "Tomorrow is going to go well and Elijah will fix you."
"I love you too. And let's hope," Nines mumbled, kissing the side of Gavin's head softly. "Goodnight, Gavin."
"Goodnight."
Gavin closed his eyes and allowed his tensed body to completely relax, and before he knew it, he was asleep.
Did I just write the longest chapter yet as 80% not relevant to the plot? e-