Chapter Twenty Eight
Eight Months Later
If it weren't for Esmeralda, that godsend of a woman and midwife, Quasi felt for certain both he and his wife would have lost their minds several hours ago.
"Why doesn't it want to come out?" pleaded Madellaine desperately.
"You know what I think it is?" questioned her husband, in a last-ditch effort to make her feel better, his hand coming to rest on the swell of her stomach. "I think you've made such a nice home for our baby over the last nine months that it just doesn't want to come out," he soothed, reaching for a wet cloth to wipe her brow. "You're doing great, just…keep breathing, Lena."
Madellaine huffed in frustration, blowing her blonde bangs out of her eyes. She sighed and reached up a hand to caress her husband's cheek. "Look at you, making up lies for me," she teased weakly through her haze of pains.
"Twenty-one hours," Quasi croaked huskily. "You're a force of nature. I—I don't know how you do it."
"Out," snapped Esmeralda, who'd pulled back the tent flap that covered their doorway towards their sleeping nook. She was looking livid. "Get out, Quasi."
Helena poked her head out from behind the woman's shoulder, carrying a basin of water and rags. "Listen to us, kid. Childbirth is messy and it's a woman's area of expertise. You don't want to be here for this," she added.
Quasi scowled. His mother's sister had been something of a surprise the day he had met her and had played an integral part in Madellaine's healing when she had almost overdosed on pennyroyal, never leaving her side, constantly making tea or bringing food.
His aunt was also something of a godsend. Helena was now a frequent visitor to the bell tower and sometimes took her meals with them, Clopin having offered Helena a permanent place in his Court, a place to call home, which she had happily accepted, and the moment that Madellaine's pains had begun this morning, Quasi had sent Maria for Esmeralda and Helena immediately, who hasn't hesitated in coming at once to the tower.
Helena furrowed her brows into a frown, setting the supplies down on a nearby wooden table, folding her arms across her chest. "Do I need to say it a second time, nephew? Don't make me say it a second time, boy. I hate saying it a second time," Helena snapped through clenched teeth. "Get out. Right now."
"No!" he snarled, his face turning white with suppressed rage. His hand was currently held in a vice grip as his poor wife worked through another spasm.
"Oh, n—no. Can't he stay?" pleaded Madellaine, biting her bottom lip. "He—he's been helping me, Esmeralda. Please. I—I need him here by my side." She bit down harder on her lip and her face contorted into a grimace as another contraction ripped through her insides. "Oh, god."
Her knuckles were white with the effort to steady herself as she continued pacing the floor of their sleeping nook.
"Please, please keep it inside," she begged through her tears, working to control her tears and her breathing. She bit her bottom lip.
Esmeralda sighed, brushing a stray dark curl away from her face. When she lifted her chin to meet Quasi's gaze, he was not all surprised to see that familiar spark of anger flash through her green eyes that he recognized in his own. "I won't ask you again. Get out of here. You don't need to be here—"
"She's my wife, Esmeralda!" he bellowed, balling his hands into fists as he gingerly pried his left hand out of Madellaine's ironclad grasp. "I'm not—"
"Oh, yes, you are," came Phoebus's firm, slightly angered voice behind him, one of his strong hands coming up to grasp his shoulder, promptly yanking him out of their bedroom. "You need to mind yourself. You really think the yelling and screaming out at my wife is going to help yours?"
Quasi opened his mouth to argue at the same time another shrill cry came from their bedroom and he heard Esmeralda's soothing tones echo, doing her best to calm down a sobbing Madellaine.
"Focus on your baby, love," Esmeralda's husky, low voice was instructing her, flowing through their loft like a soft breeze. "Don't think about anything else. Deep breaths. You can do this, Madellaine."
"Trust me," encouraged Phoebus, steering him further away from their tower, almost bumping into Sisters Rosemary and Maria, who were coming up the stairwell with bundles of fresh rags and hot water laden in their arms. "Here, let me get that for you, ladies." Phoebus did not wait before taking the buckets and promptly disappearing into their bedroom for a second, talking in low tones to Esmeralda about something.
Their captain re-emerged moments later, looking winded, his face pale, flexing his fingers. "Your wife has one hell of a grip," he complimented, looking impressed and wincing a little as he flexed the muscles in his fingers.
"She does." Quasi frowned, sensing the others weren't going to let him get within a foot of their bedroom, opting instead to drag a spare chair from his carving table over towards their sleeping nook, making as much noise as he could.
He barely stifled his grin of satisfaction as Esmeralda angrily poked her head out. "What?" he asked, maintaining a cold indifference. "This is as close as you'll let me get since you won't let me in help her through this," he hissed.
Esmeralda was silently fuming, her dark eyes darting back and forth between Quasi and Phoebus. Her gaze landed on Phoebus, and something in her eyes softened, and she let out a weary sigh.
"I'm sorry it has to be this way, Quasi, I really am," she apologized, looking pained. "But you can over-react. You're not allowed in until afterwards. Phoebus, I'll call you if I need you," she said softly, ignoring their bell ringer's flustered look of utter outrage and left. The minutes turned into hours.
Esmeralda spent the last few hours trying to coax Madellaine down from her sobbing panicked state. "It's all right. You're safe here. Your baby is coming. Don't think about anything else. You're all right, Madellaine. Breathe, breathe, just breathe! You can do this, Lena, I just know it."
Quasi winced as he heard another ear-piercing scream come from their bedroom. Agitated, he couldn't sit still anymore and began to pace the tower loft, wringing his hands together until they hurt, picking at a loose string on one of his gloves until he violently wrenched them off and tossed them in a corner.
He hated this. It wasn't fair that Phoebus was allowed inside, and he had to stay out here. He hated that he wasn't allowed to be in the room with his wife, helping her through the worst of her pain. "Oh, God, how did this happen?"
Quasi heard Sister Maria let out a dry snort through their bedroom. "You got her pregnant, that's what, kid!" she called out, unable to help herself from commenting. "I would have thought that was obvious, Quasi. Use your head!"
He jumped when he felt Phoebus's hand on his shoulder, turning slightly to see the man he considered an older brother smiling sympathetically at him, his hazel eyes gleaming in the dim light of their tower. "I wouldn't worry too much about your wife, Quasi. She's going to be fine."
"How do you know?" He could hear his voice breaking as he asked Phoebus. How the hell would Phoebus know if Madellaine would survive this?
The survival rate for infant mortality rate was something ridiculous like one in three, as Victor was so often fond of reminding him throughout the remaining days of his wife's pregnancy.
The torture for him was almost unbearable. Esmeralda, god bless that woman, had stayed with them for the better part of an entire day, but still, it didn't stop his incessant worrying. Phoebus smiled that sometimes annoyingly charming smile and did his best to reassure their bell ringer she was in capable hands.
"Your wife is strong. Had she been born a boy in a different life, she would have made one hell of a soldier, kid. She's tough. She's not going to let a little thing like childbearing take her life, trust me, Quasi. She'll be just fine. Esmeralda's taking excellent care of her. She's not lost a single woman in her care yet. She's helped many of the Romani women give birth in Clopin's camps. I would trust my wife with my own life. Madellaine could not be in more capable hands. You know this just as well as I do. Trust Esmeralda, Quasi."
Quasi nodded, his mouth clamped tightly shut, too afraid to say anything else. "Jesus," he muttered and raked his hands through his hair.
He could not help but to worry if their baby would be born with his pain-inducing features.
Phoebus snorted and rolled his eyes in a moment of good-natured humor, unable to contain it. "You know, what you're feeling is perfectly natural. It's—" but he was interrupted by a piercing scream.
Despite her pain, Madellaine bit her tongue hard enough to bleed to make no further sound. She knew the noise was stressing out her husband greatly. When the pains passed, it was only for a minute or so and she breathed deeply with closed eyes, unwilling to re-engage with life outside her own body.
Their bedroom might as well have been empty for all the awareness she had, and when the others, Esmeralda and Maria, did talk to her, touch, anything to gain her attention, she found it so hard. To reply, she had to find herself from the deepest recesses of her own mind and drag herself forward. Esmeralda was telling her to lie down.
She was in for another long night, but she just wanted it to stop. She'd been in labor twenty-one hours already. Enough was enough.
She bit down hard on her bottom lip in a vain attempt to stifle her cry of pain, but it did no good. Madellaine could not stop her scream of pain from erupting forth. A long, piercing wail that her husband knew would haunt his dreams for the next several nights.
She cried, tears pouring down her face, begging Esmeralda to just end it, make the pain stop coming, and all the midwife could do was offer soothing words of encouragement.
The pain of labor was a prison for the young woman's mind. In that prison cell of fear and confusion, the time passed without her being able to keep track. Her stomach tightened; she heard her own screams without being aware of making them. It was twisting and warping her insides, changing her, boiling her bloodstream ablaze. The day had dragged on for what felt like an eternity, well into the late hours of the night.
At first, Quasi had been ecstatic that he was finally going to be a father. But having to sit through and listen to this? All he could do was sit there with Phoebus and try to drown out his wife's agonizing screams of pain. Would she and their baby be all right?
Minus everything she'd undergone with Jehan the last few months, and a few weeks of morning sickness early on, once that passed, the months leading up to their baby's arrival had seemed so smooth and flawless.
Once Jehan was well and truly gone from her life, she'd had almost no problems, at least not until this morning. He'd not thought ahead to this part. He never should have allowed this to happen. They should have…they should have been more careful.
"Damn it," he muttered through gritted teeth, anguished. He visibly flinched as another of his wife's cries filled their loft. "I guess it's a good thing the Archdeacon closed the cathedral today, Phoebus," he said.
"She's going to be okay," Phoebus repeated quietly, unfazed by the outburst.
"How do you know?" he snapped, his fear surfacing in the form of his anger, acting as a shield for his pain. "No one can know for sure what will happen to her. What if my wife dies from this?" Quasi bellowed angrily.
Phoebus smiled; his kind hazel eyes gleaming in the light. "I just do." He was leaning up against a wooden table, his arms folded across his chest, one foot crossed over the other. He was looking out one of the windows, though Quasi doubted he could see anything.
Quasi remained silent, not sure what to think. His panicked thoughts were interrupted as Esmeralda rushed out of their bedroom, traces of red staining her palms.
Esmeralda had a beautiful smile whenever she smiled, although right now she looked exhausted. Her curly dark hair was piled up in a messy bun that was currently tucked underneath a brown headscarf, a few loose tendrils escaping to frame her face. Her raven black hair was matted and tangled, beads of sweat along her brow. Her eyes darted around the room until she met Phoebus's gaze and beckoned to him. Her green eyes scintillated with a mischievous glint that could be noticed next to the umber that rimmed her iris. Her eyes glowed with humor and playfulness that never seem to escape her eyes.
Nevertheless, her eyes possess sorrow that placed a melancholic veil, which cloaked her eyes; it seemed as if it made the happiness in her eyes matte. Yet, when she smiled, the corners of her beauteous eyes radiated happiness in soft twinkles, which reflected the light that made her eyes sparkle. Esmeralda brushed her hands on her apron, which had traces of Madellaine's blood on them.
"Phoebus, I need your help," Esmeralda said breathlessly. "I need you now, if you are willing, love." The soldier nodded, straightening his posture, and without a word hurried to follow his wife to the bedroom.
"Wait!" Quasi cried out desperately. "Esmeralda. Madellaine, is she...?"
Esmeralda turned and paused. She sighed, fatigue in her voice. "She's fine, my friend. I promise. I just need a little help for this next bit. Maria and Rosemary are on cold cloth duty busy keeping your wife cool and calm and cannot help with this part. I need Phoebus."
"NO!" shouted Madellaine, sounding exhausted.
"Lena, it's all right," Esmeralda called out, using his wife's nickname and hoping it reassured her. She was smiling despite her charge's vehement insistence that she not bring help into their room.
"I can't do this part by myself!"
"Do not bring Phoebus in here, Esmeralda! I don't want him to see me like this!" she shouted, crying as another contraction overtook her body. "Don't bring him in! He—he doesn't need to see this!"
"Lena, it's all right," called out Phoebus, his voice calm and reassuring, flowing into their bedroom like a soft wind.
"NO! Phoebus, you are absolutely crazy!" she shouted. "No way!"
"Listen to me, Lena! I've done this once before with… well, I won't give the details, but…I can come in there and try to make things easier, or Esmeralda can do this on by herself. It will probably be more painful for you if I stay out here. It's your call. I'm happy to help Esmeralda in any way I can if it makes things easier for you. Something tells me you could use the help," he called out, glancing sideways at Esmeralda for her reaction.
Esmeralda shrugged her shoulders and waited.
Madellaine's response was a loud scream. She groaned and gasped as pain tremors shook her body. "I—I—okay, okay, you can come in, just—just hurry!" she begged, sobbing, grunting as she stifled another wail. "I don't know how much more of this I can take, this is torture, twenty-one hours! Esmeralda, help me, please!" she cried.
Phoebus nodded and he and Esmeralda hurried into the bedroom, leaving him alone with Laverne. She was viciously guarding the entrance, which had been blocked with a curtain to give the women privacy and protect Madellaine's modesty.
Laverne growled at the bell ringer anytime he got close to the entryway, refusing to let him past. He watched their bedroom anxiously, listening for any kind of sound, a sign. Anything. He heard nothing.
The silence was killing him. Suddenly, he could hear his wife's breathing quickening and slowing done. Quasi's eyes grew wide.
Could she be...? He took a step to the door and Laverne growled low, warning him not to come any closer. He glowered at her but backed off.
Then he heard Phoebus's calming voice. Although he could not see it, Phoebus held Madellaine's hand and spoke to her gently through her haze of pain.
"All right, Lena, breathe. Stay calm, love. Look at me. Look at me. You can do this. Easy, just breathe. That's it. Okay, you're almost ready. When Esmeralda tells you to, I want you to push, all right?" His voice was quiet and kind despite the tension in the room and the intermingled sobs of pain coming from Quasi's wife. "You can do this, I know it. It's almost over."
"Please, please, Esmeralda, make it stop!" she begged. "This really hurts, make it stop! I don't think I can do this. I need—I need the valerian, just give it to me and I'll sleep through this. Please, please, I need it, I'll—I'll make sure there's time. I'll stop pushing, I'll stop pushing; I'll make sure it doesn't come out," she begged through gritted teeth, lowering her voice to barely a whisper as she pleaded through her tears.
"There's no time for the valerian, Madellaine, you're past the point of being able to take it safely. You're just going to have to get through this the hard way. I know it's hard and I know it hurts, honey, but I know you can do it. You can do this. You've made it this far. You're doing so great. Come on, Madellaine, push. I need you to push!"
Esmeralda's tone was harsh and commanding but calm, everything that the bell ringer's wife needed in the moment.
Madellaine's screams filled the loft as she did what she was told, groaning, and crying as she pushed. Her pain came in waves, completely overpowering her and burning through her insides. She had never felt this way in her life and she just wanted this to stop.
"I...I can't do this," she wept. "Esmeralda, please, make it stop!" she cried. "Keep it inside."
"It doesn't work like that, and you're past the point of the valerian. Lena, stop crying. Stop crying and look at me!" Esmeralda commanded, her tone harsh and firm, but loving.
Madellaine blearily focused her view through her haze of burning agony, the pain twisting her insides. She met Esmeralda's kind gaze and tried to breathe deeply, willing herself to calm down. You can do this, this is it. Soon, it'll all be over, and we'll meet our baby.
"Okay, I need you to push. Come on, that's it, you can do this, love, I know you can, you're doing so great. Push!" came Esmeralda's commanding tone.
The powers of nature and existence took over, and with strength she didn't even know she had, Madellaine began to bear down hard, gritting her teeth and biting her tongue so she wouldn't scream, pushing the baby out of her womb. The pain was worse than anything she'd ever felt in her entire life, crippling and degrading. But it didn't stop her. She propelled herself onwards, feeling the head begin to emerge between her legs as it crowned.
She groaned, collapsing her head back against the pillow. Madellaine saw a smile from Esmeralda, so she took that as a good sign. It's almost over...
"That's it, Madellaine, I can see the head, your baby has bright red hair like its father," she teased, loud enough for Quasi to hear.
Phoebus, encouraged by Esmeralda's words of comfort, offered his own soothing remarks. "Keep going, love, you're doing wonderful, it's almost over. You can do this, Lena." He flinched as her ironclad grip on his hand tightened.
Quasi froze, staring at the door, his eyes wide.
His wife struggled and pushed, heaved one final groan and he could hear the slightest sound of release, and although she could not see it, Madellaine flopped against the pillow, panting, exhausted and crying.
"It's out, it's out, oh thank the gods, I…am never doing that again, o—once was enough," she gasped. The loud cries of a newborn infant filled the room.
Quasi felt himself breathe an audible heavy sigh of relief as he slumped against the wall, feeling very much like he was going to pass out if the black spots didn't quit dancing in front of his vision. His child was safe.
But was she...? He heard nothing from Madellaine. His stomach began twisting into knots again.
"You're a mother, Madellaine, to a beautiful baby girl! She's beautiful, love, I'm so proud of you!" Phoebus's kind voice filled the room and he placed a gentle kiss on Madellaine's cheek.
"Phoebus, there's time for that later!" Esmeralda chastised, poking her head out from behind the curtain. "Quasi," she said softly, "Your wife is perfectly fine, and you are the proud father of a healthy baby girl. Would you like to see your little girl?" She stepped out of the room, wiping her hands clean on a rag as she did so.
"I...yes, b-but..." The bell ringer rushed over to her, taking his friend's hands in his, which still had faint traces of red on them. "Esmeralda, is Madellaine...?"
Esmeralda let out a tired huff of frustration and stomped her foot. "For God's sake! I told you. She's fine. How long have you known me? She's going to be okay. Right now, she's just tired. I told you she would be okay. Give me some credit, I've been helping our midwives for a few years now. Your wife is just fine, Quasi. Just tired."
He nodded, silent. Esmeralda smiled gently and took his hand in hers and led him to their bedroom. He peeked around the door, his eyes cautiously sweeping the room.
Esmeralda stood leaning against the doorway, smiling proudly at the new mother. She looked exhausted but radiant. She sighed and let her raven black ringlets fall to her shoulders.
Despite her exhaustion, it did nothing to take away from her natural beauty. Esmeralda surprised Phoebus by leaning down and pressing her lips to his forehead for a gentle kiss. "Thank you, Phoebus," she said, keeping her voice low, wanting to give the new parents privacy.
"For what?" he asked, shocked at her gesture.
"For your help tonight, you fool," she teased. "I couldn't have done it without you, Sun God. Thank you." Esmeralda fell silent and clapped him on the shoulder, smiling softly.
"Of course," he said, looking up at her in surprise.
"She's beautiful, you two. Congratulations. You did so great!" Esmeralda spoke up quietly.
Madellaine was propped up against a mound of pillows, her hair tousled, the color drained from her face, beads of sweat on her forehead. She looked utterly exhausted and on the brink of collapse, but was beaming as she cradled a small bundle in her arms swathed in blankets.
A startled cry from the newborn broke her of her moment with her husband. "Thanks for coming out of me," she joked weakly. "Hush now," she whispered to the crying baby in her arms. "It's all right, Mama's here. You're all right," she crooned, and the baby silenced at listening to her mother's soothing tone.
Her blue eyes found her own and Madellaine's heart surged with loved as her daughter's miniature fingers grasped Madellaine's and held tight. She knew.
Somehow, her daughter knew that her mother needed comfort; she knew she needed joy amid her pain. Madellaine held her baby to her chest tightly. She would never let this precious bundle go, no matter what came, she would always protect her daughter.
Even to the point of death, if that's what it took to keep her baby safe. Madellaine noticed her husband looking and beckoned him over with her eyes.
Phoebus was sitting at the edge of the bed, smiling, his eyes twinkling as he watched the new mother with pride in his heart. Esmeralda met his eyes and smiled gently.
Phoebus felt sudden warmth in his heart but had no time to dwell on it as he watched the new father timidly enter the room.
Notre Dame's bell ringer walked over to his wife, kneeling beside his wife and new baby. She didn't say anything, only held out the warm wrappings to him. He pulled back the folds of the blanket and his heart melted, as he looked into the sleeping face of his daughter, his child, his entire world. His child had his red hair, although her hair was more auburn than red. When she would open her eyes later, it would be revealed that their baby had her mother's eyes.
After a while, Esmeralda took the infant from Madellaine's arms, letting her sleep against the pillows. She rocked the baby in her arms before handing the baby off to Phoebus.
Phoebus looked down into the face of his godchild and swallowed as he fought back tears. To distract himself, he asked the new father a question. "What will you name her?" he asked softly, handing the newborn baby back to Quasi, who cradled her gently against his chest. The soldier turned back and smiled at the new parents, his family, with swelling warmth in his heart.
Coming over to his Quasi, he looked down and placed a gentle kiss on his new godchild's little forehead. "Didn't I tell you she would be all right?" he whispered, his eyes twinkling.
Esmeralda stood silently against the door frame; her arms crossed. Quasi stared at his brother, shocked. Glancing down at his daughter, he realized what Phoebus's words earlier meant. He didn't know how the soldier had known, but he made a mental note never to doubt him again.
He nodded, turning towards Madellaine, who looked like she was in need of several nights of sleep, but was smiling in a way only a mother could. He leaned down and kissed his wife. "I love you," he whispered passionately. She smiled too, dark circles under her eyes from lack of sleep and sheer exhaustion.
"I love you too," she said quietly, closing her eyes and collapsing her head against the pillows, snuggling into her husband's chest.
Quasi let out a content sigh as he gingerly stood, his precious little girl wrapped in his arms, wanting to let Madellaine sleep.
He finally had a normal life. A loving wife, a brand-new baby, friends he'd do anything for, his guardians. His life was perfect.
The two men left the bedroom to allow Madellaine time to sleep, Esmeralda trailing close behind.
"What will you name her?" Phoebus asked again quietly as he watched the new father sit down gently and cradle his daughter as she slept.
He'd never gotten an answer. His brother was quiet for a moment, thinking as he gazed down with love and adoration in his eyes for his child. He pulled his baby close, nuzzling her face tenderly, stroking her cheek with a gentle finger. He wanted to drink this moment in, with his little girl in his hands. Her eyes were more brilliant than he could have ever dreamed, her hands more delicate and tinier.
She felt so light in his arms; she looked perfect and smelled divine. He knew he would be her protector as long as he lived and his love for his daughter and wife would last for all time, long after they were dead and gone.
Phoebus could barely hear him when Quasi spoke and had to strain to hear. "Well. We only had one name in mind if it was a girl. Charlotte. Named after Madellaine's mother," he whispered, glancing up at Phoebus with tears in his eyes. "Madellaine insisted," he said softly. "She would consider no other name."
Phoebus nodded and turned towards Esmeralda. "I could not be more happier for you, my friend. Esme and I will bring Zephyr along in a few days."
The bell ringer watched the two leave to head for their own home, back to Zephyr and relieve Clopin of watching over their adopted seven-year-old son, hand in hand, a soft smile of his own forming on his mouth. "Find your peace, Phoebus," he whispered.
After a while, Madellaine awoke, hearing their baby crying, despite Quasi's best efforts to keep their new daughter quiet so she could sleep. She was exhausted but smiling in a way that only a mother could explain.
"Here." She held her arms out, gingerly taking baby Charlotte from her father's arms, and wasn't at all surprised when the baby immediately began to wail, her little face turning red. "Okay, okay!" she joked, mockingly raising her arms in surrender. "Later, then. I wouldn't want to leave Papa's arms either, sweet baby girl," she crooned, leaning down to plant a gentle kiss on their daughter's forehead. Glancing up at Quasi, she didn't bother to hide the wide grin that crept onto her face. "She's going to be her father's girl through and through. Spoiled rotten."
"You know it, darling," he retorted back, a note of pride in his voice and an insurmountable love dwelling in his chest. "Go to sleep. You've had an incredibly long day and you should rest, love," he added, taking note of the dark circles under her eyes and beads of sweat forming on her brow. "I've got this. Trust me?" he asked lovingly.
Madellaine smiled and closed her eyes, nestling her head into his shoulder, their newborn daughter cradled gently in his arms, snuggled against his chest. "Until the end of the world."
Quasi watched his wife slowly fall asleep, and then their baby closed her eyes and followed suit. He felt his heart swell with such an immeasurable sense of happiness and pride, he thought it would surely burst. His wife and daughter and Phoebus and Esmeralda held a place in his heart that was irreplaceable. His family was his own heaven's light, and no one would ever be able to take that away from him.
They were home.