Thirty-Six

The next morning, Lily and I had the biggest row we'd had since my Fourth Year, but only after casting the Muffliato charm so Mum wouldn't hear us. It started out about Vernon, then devolved from there when she confessed that she and James, along with Sirius, Peter, and Remus, had joined the Order of the Phoenix, confirming my suspicions from the night before. "You can't," I panicked, which instantly brought her hackles up.

"Why not? Because you quit it?" she shot back. "I can't believe you would quit. We're going to be making a difference, Pet, and yet you hide away, using Mum as an excuse."

I gasped, feeling tears threatening for the second time in less than twenty-four hours. And I'd been doing so well that week. "You think I'm using Mum as an excuse to hide away? Mum needs my help. Just because you've been too busy at school and with James to notice doesn't mean that things here at home are sunshine and rainbows. Mum is dying, and every time I have to take her to hospital, it shortens her life. And I'm sorry I quit your little band of heroes, but I couldn't do it anymore! I couldn't stay with the organization that took Gid away from me!"

She looked a bit stricken, but Lily was always too stubborn for my good. "Gid would have wanted you to keep fighting!"

"I'm not a fighter!" I screamed. "I'm not full of your Gryffindor courage! I'm not you! And losing Gid broke me. I could barely pull myself out of bed for months! Just wait until James is killed in a fight, and then you can judge me."

She hissed in a breath, almost as if I'd slapped her, but I was too upset to apologize. Instead, I went downstairs, grabbed my coat, and Apparated away.

This time, I opened my eyes to see Dad's headstone. Mum and I visited him nearly every week, so the wreath of daisies, lilies, and petunias only looked slightly wilted. "Oh, Daddy, what am I going to do?"

I spent most of the day with Daddy, alternating between telling him everything that was on my mind and sitting in silence. It wasn't until the sun set that I actually went home. Lily and I tiptoed around each other for the rest of her holiday, afraid of what we might say to one another, not wanting to reopen those wounds. But Saturday night saw her climbing into my bed around midnight. "I'm sorry, Tuney," she whispered, snuggling up to me. "Sometimes, it's easy to forget, with how strong you are, just how much you've been dealing with. I'm sorry."

I wrapped my arms around her. "I'm sorry, too. It's not your fault you're at school, and I hope you know I would never wish for James to die."

She flinched at the thought. "I know. I'm sorry I pushed you. I wouldn't handle James dying well, so I have no room to talk."

"You're much too strong and brave," I told her. "You'd keep fighting."

"You're stronger and braver than you think," she said softly. "You just need to remember that."

…

I barely got home from dropping Lily at the station when Vernon called. "I have a surprise for you, and you are going to love it," he said, sounding more excited than I'd ever heard him before. It had me intrigued, so I agreed to be ready for him to pick me up in half an hour. He arrived in twenty minutes, nearly vibrating in excitement.

Vernon drove us to Little Whinging, and though he kept mum on what his surprise was, he certainly didn't keep quiet. He told me all about the praise his bosses had heaped on him that week, and the important deals he was working on, and the gossip surrounding one of the senior executives and his secretary. The way he chortled about the whole affair started a sinking feeling in my stomach, but I ignored it.

My confusion grew as he drove us further into the more residential area of the suburb. But when he parked in front of a new house, evident in the newness of the landscaping, the puzzle began to come together, into a picture I wasn't sure I liked.

Vernon came around to let me out of the car, beaming like an idiot. "I've bought us a house, my Pet," he crowed. "Polkiss finished it last month, and Mum has been working with a designer to decorate it. Isn't it lovely?"

It was a box, identical to every other house on the street. The only discernable difference I could find was the shiny brass number four on the door. It was nothing like the delightful home I'd grown up in, the one we'd discussed living in after we married so I could continue to take care of Mum. The disapproval and dislike must not have come through on my face, however, since Vernon simply grabbed my hand and dragged me inside.

The interior was even worse. It was as if we had stepped inside a magazine photo shoot, with huge drapes, glass furniture, and floral décor everywhere, picture perfect and utterly without a hint of personality. It didn't take long to discover that none of the floral patterns involved petunias, not that they were terribly common in patterns, but there were no lilies or daisies to be seen, either. I knew Vernon's mother didn't like me, though according to him she adored me, but this house was just one more proof of her aversion. It was subtle, really, and brilliant, since Vernon would think that she had done everything in an effort to be welcoming to her future daughter-in-law. But I read the slight curl of her lip every time I saw her, the backhanded compliments. Everything she said to me was intended to show her dislike, while making sure Vernon never caught a hint of it. And this house was one big testament to her disapproval.

After dragging me through the entire house, Vernon turned to me. "Well, what do you think?" he asked, then without pausing so I could possibly answer, he continued. "It's absolutely brilliant. Mum's been working day and night with the decorator, and it's finally finished. She's quite pleased with how it's turned out."

I'm sure she is, I thought, but didn't dare say. "It's awfully nice of her," I started.

But he didn't let me finish. "It was, wasn't it? Mum wanted to make a lovely home for her lovely future daughter-in-law," he beamed, again, like an idiot. He continued extolling his mother's virtues and the amount of money he had spent, on both the house itself and the furnishings, all the way back to Cokeworth. "It's a lovely home, and I'll be moving in on Saturday," he told me, once back at Mum's. "Mum will stay with me, of course, helping to finish everything, and of course to do the cooking and washing up, just until we're married, of course. And then she'll go back home. Though, she did say she was looking forward to visiting often."

A vision of our future lives together passed through my mind: horrid, boring, and plain, with his mother judging everything I did. Any children we might have would be spoiled rotten, especially any boys, but never have the freedom that Lily and I enjoyed as children. They would never have the opportunity to bake a mud pie, or weave a flower crown, or do anything but look spotless. And it sounded horrible.

I cut Vernon off midsentence, though I couldn't have told anyone what he'd been speaking about, at least, not for sure. "Vernon, dear, it's been a bit of a long day, and I'm terribly tired," I said, even going so far as to put my hand on his massive arm. "I'm so sorry, but-"

"Not to worry, my Pet," he chuckled. "I've worn you out, I'm afraid. I'll still see you tomorrow night for dinner, yes?"

"Absolutely," I said, forcing a smile. One I held as I walked him to the door, as I accepted his hot kiss, as I saw Mum into bed. But as I slipped into my own bed, I finally let my smile and tears fall. I could see no way out of this terrible mess I'd found myself in.

AN: In case anyone was wondering, I really hate Vernon. He's just that kind of person I can't find any redeeming qualities for, at all. And his family is just as bad. But we're getting closer to the wedding, and closer to the end of this story, which means closer to the end of having to deal with him! Anyway, thanks for reading, and a bit thanks to those of you who continue to review. Reviews really are the best way to a writer's heart!