Author's note:
Welcome everyone, welcome to the machine... I mean welcome to the latest update of And You And I.
First and foremost, a huge thank you yet again to you all for all the reviews, followers/favourites. And I'm thrilled that over thirty of you have now subscribed to this story. I hope you are all still enjoying reading it as much as I am writing it.
This week, as promised, I have another three chapters for you to enjoy. So, since I've not got much more to bang on about at the moment, let's get straight on with things. First up, chapter 28: It'll be a good day. The name of this one being a song from Yes' album The Ladder. Some of you might even remember that it was going to be the name of chapter 16 before that update went from one to six chapters in length. Still, better late than never. In this instance, the title says it all and reflects the more positive vibe that Shego is now feeling. Enjoy and I'll see you all shortly.
##
Chapter Twenty-eight: It'll be a good day
For the second morning running, Shego awoke at six am to the sound of Ru-Ru. It seemed that a combination of her own internal body clock and the naked-mole-shark's ridiculously loud snoring was more than an adequate replacement for an alarm clock. She felt oddly calm as she climbed out of bed and sleepily wandered into her wardrobe to pull on some training gear. In fact, by the time she had gone outside to start her run and thus properly woken up, she might even have said her mind felt rather tranquil, serene even. However, that did not stop the thought, damn little Miss Go, from sneaking into her head as she made her way into the woods that surrounded her house. Only the proof was in the pudding. After last nights internalised argument, she felt better, more sure of herself than she had done in over two weeks.
After she had done an hour's circuit over the rough and uneven terrain of the woods, Shego returned to the house, stopped off in the kitchen for a bottle of water and then headed down into the basement to work on her moves. It felt good to be able to fully concentrate on her techniques and not have them skewed by an anger she struggled to control. When she was finished, she had a nice relaxing shower, dressed in her traditional green and black catsuit and then went to wake her new roommate.
"Hey, Ru-Ru," Shego said as she flicked his little pink belly with a finger.
"Mrgh!" the naked-mole-shark exclaimed as he rolled over away from her.
She prodded him again. "Come on, you lazy sod, up you get."
"Rah, rah, rah," Ru-Ru grunted irritably and shifted himself further away from her.
Shego increased the temperature in her finger. "Ok, don't say I didn't try this the nice way," she said and touched his backside with the hot digit.
"YEOW!" Ru-Ru yelled and leapt two feet into the air. He landed back down on the cushion, scrambled to his feet and shook one of his little fists at her as he uttered a string of unintelligible curses.
"Well, if that's how you feel, I guess you'd be better off going back to Amy after all."
Ru-Ru tilted his head, "huh?"
"This isn't some sort of hippie commune I'm running. If you're going to be staying here then there are certain rules you'll be following." Shego looked him straight in his beady little eyes. "So, you'll have to decide whether you prefer my rules or Amy's."
A wide smile formed on the naked-mole-shark's face and Shego didn't need to hear him say, "your rules, your rules," to know that he'd do whatever it took if it meant he didn't have to go back to Amy. However, that only led her to wonder, what could possibly have been that bad about living with Amy that he'll blindly pick my rules?
"I'm glad we understand each other. So, first things first, I eat breakfast at eight-thirty. If you miss it, then you go hungry."
A slightly sour expression formed on the naked-mole-shark's face but he nodded nonetheless.
Shego laughed, "you really are cranky in the morning," and held out her hand for him to climb onto.
Ru-Ru huffed at the comment but hopped onto her hand, then scampered up to her shoulder.
She turned her head to look at him. "I thought I said no ridding on my shoulder?"
He held up two of his tinny claws in the 'little bit' gesture and gave her a sneaky smile, "meh."
Shego rolled her eyes and walked out of the room. I am definitely going soft. She headed downstairs and into the kitchen, where she deposited Ru-Ru on the breakfast bar. "Right, rule two. You either eat what I'm having for breakfast or something I can easily make, like toast or cereal, or you go hungry."
Surprisingly, Ru-Ru's eyes lit up as he uttered, "mmm, toast. Mmm, cereal. Yum-yum."
She gave him a sideways look. "What did Amy feed you for breakfast?"
"Tubers, yuck-yuck!" As though to emphasize this, Ru-Ru stuck out his tongue and quickly rubbed at it with his paws, like he was trying to rid himself of the memory of the taste.
"Ha," Shego laughed. "She actually fed you like a normal naked-mole-rat. Guess she wasn't aware that the buffoon never read the diet part of the manual when it came to looking after Rufus." An evil grin formed on her lips. "I suppose I know exactly how to punish you if you misbehave now."
Ru-Ru shuddered and then gave her a sweet smile that said, "I'll be good, honest."
Shego had seen that look before, both from her younger brothers; the Wego's and from children she had taught. "You're going to be trouble, aren't you?"
The naked-mole-shark's smile morphed into a grin and he gave her the 'little bit' gesture with his paw again.
"Guess I'll be buying extra potatoes when I next go to the store," she replied with a smile and turned to look in the fridge to see what the options were.
It transpired that it was either eggs, eggs or eggs. Looks like that trip to the store will have to be tonight. Nevertheless, she managed to whip up a large omelette with the remains of an onion; a pack of ham and what cheese Ru-Ru had not eaten since his arrival on Saturday night. The naked-mole-shark's beady little eyes lit up like he'd just won the lottery and his mouth salivated when she served him his portion, which he quickly devoured. She laughed as she ate her own; when he lounged on his plate and started licking it clean. Ok, so maybe having the little guy around won't be so bad. He is kind of funny. When they had finished eating, she shoved all the dishes in the dishwasher and turned it on.
She then turned to Ru-Ru. "Right, it's time to go to work."
The naked-mole-shark waved his little paw and said, "bye-bye."
Shego smirked at him. "Don't think you're getting to sit around and watch TV all day. You're coming too."
A look of annoyance formed on Ru-Ru's face and he folded his arms, "ut-uh."
"Uh-hu," she replied. "If you're going to be staying here, you're going to earn your keep. Besides, we need to deal with the Amy problem, as I'm not having her randomly show up when I'm out and about, with an army of your siblings; demanding your return." She'd made the decision to confront the Amy issue head-on while out on her run, for the very reason she'd just given.
Ru-Ru gulped and then nodded his head, as he said, "ok-ok." He then hopped down off of the breakfast bar, via one of the stools and underside shelving, and scurried across the floor.
Shego's eyes widened and before she could stop him, the little blighter scampered up her left leg and into the utility pouch on it. "Oh no. No, no, no, no, no," she said quickly and bent down. "If you think you are travelling like Rufus, you can forget it." She opened the flap on the pouch and glared at the naked-mole-shark, "out!"
Ru-Ru shook his head, "ut-uh," snatched the pouch flap from her grasp and closed it over.
"You little shit," Shego exclaimed as she tugged at the flap, however, the naked-mole-shark was doing an exceptionally good job of holding it shut from the inside. Eventually, much to her annoyance, she was forced to give up. "It's potatoes for you for dinner," she said firmly as she straightened up.
The pouch opened just long enough for Ru-Ru to blow a raspberry at her before it closed again.
Needless to say, this did not help with the outrage Shego felt at having lost the fight over how the naked-mole-shark would be travelling. Stomping into the garage, she pulled on her helmet and gloves, then climbed aboard the Blackbird. Opening the garage door, she wasted no time in guiding the bike out and closing it behind her. She flipped up the visor on her helmet as she revved the engine. "You'd better hold on tight in there," she said as she glanced towards her left leg.
Ru-Ru poked his head out, a wide grin on his face. He nodded and said, "uh-hu, uh-hu, zoom-zoom," before vanishing again.
Shego closed her visor, put the bike into first gear and did just that.
##
It was just going on nine o'clock when Shego arrived in the main chamber of Dr Drakken's lair. The mad scientist was nowhere to be seen, so she headed into the kitchenette to brew a pot of coffee. It had just finished percolating when the man finally staggered through the door.
"Rough night, Dr D?" she asked upon seeing his bleary eyes.
"Rough!" Drakken barked, "I couldn't get to sleep knowing that beastly little creature of Amy's might sneak up on me."
"So, you couldn't find him, huh" she replied airily.
"No I couldn't and a fat lot of help you were yesterday!"
"Yeah, well, like I said, it was the weekend and I was busy." Shego heard a grumble emanate from the pouch on her leg and felt Ru-Ru begin to stir inside it, no doubt about to pop out and try to bite Drakken for his comment. An evil thought crossed her mind and she hastily bent down and put a hand over it. "Not yet," she hissed quietly, "just wait, you'll get your revenge."
"Did you say something, Shego," Drakken said as he slumped into one of the seats at the table.
"I said, let me make it up to you and fix you some breakfast," she replied, quickly straightening up.
"Oh," Drakken said thoughtfully. "Yes, well, I could use some strong coffee and a bowl of Lucky Charms."
She smiled to herself, "coming right up." She waited until Drakken had slumped his head on the table before reaching down and plucking Ru-Ru out of the pouch on her leg. Fetching a large cereal bowl, she deposited him inside, gave him a wink and then covered him in lucky charms. Placing the bowl, a spoon, two mugs, the coffee pot and a carton of milk on a tray, she headed over to where her boss was sat.
"Here you are, Dr Drakken," she said sweetly. She set the tray down on the table, poured coffee into the mugs, adding milk and sugar to her own and then deposited herself in the chair opposite him. She sipped her coffee quietly as she waited.
In his sleep-deprived state, Drakken did not even look like he would question why she was being so nice to him. She watched him pour milk into the bowl and decided she should probably distract him. "So, what did you do all night if you couldn't sleep."
A smile quickly formed on Drakken's blue face. "I managed to devise a new plan to take over the world!"
While externally Shego continued to smile at the mad scientist, internally she rolled her eyes. This charade eerily similar to when she had been under the influence of the man's compliance chip. What is he planning to do this time? Build a new doomsday device atop an active volcano?
"It's my most brilliant scheme ever! I am going to build a lightning cannon, which will be able to arc around the entire globe and hit any target I desire. Thereby eliminating the need for all the satellites and mirror systems required for a death-ray!" Drakken exclaimed, sounding exceptionally pleased with himself. He had just lifted the spoon from the bowl, atop which Ru-Ru was perched, as he added, "I call it the…"
"Lightning-ray?" Shego butt in, predicting where the man was headed.
A look of twisted infuriation formed on Drakken's face and the spoon stopped mid-air. "That's not what I was going to call it at all! I was going to call it the… ohh… umm…"
"Yeah, you were so going to call it the lightning-ray," she replied in a sassy voice.
"Fine, so what if I was going to call it the lightning-ray! It's my doomsday weapon, I'll call it what I like!"
Shego watched and struggled to maintain a straight face as Drakken lifted the spoon towards his mouth. The mad scientist turned his attention to it and came face to face with Ru-Ru. His eyes widened just as the naked-mole-shark bellowed, "BAWH!" Drakken dropped the spoon as he shot into the air, yelling and screeching like a little girl. She burst into a fit of hysterics as he landed atop the high back of his chair and clung to it for dear life; like he was some comical cartoon character. Ru-Ru had landed back in the bowl and was ending himself in a bout of evil laughter.
"SHEGO! IT'S THAT LITTLE BEAST OF AMY'S! QUICK, GET IT!" Drakken screamed as he pointed a trembling finger at the naked-mole-shark. When she responded by laughing even harder, the mad scientist's expression morphed into one of outrage. "THE TWO OF YOU WERE IN ON THIS TOGETHER!"
Shego tried to straighten her face as she said, "well, doy, you think?" but one look at the sour expression on Drakken's face caused her to break down into another fit of hysterics.
"That's it! I won't stand for this!" Drakken declared as he climbed down off of his chair. "I'll deal with this myself."
She watched him storm off and then turned to look at Ru-Ru, who had started to slurp his way through Drakken's lucky charms. They exchanged wicked smirks and she reached out and gave him a high-five. Her gaze then shot up when the mad scientist's shadow loomed over them. Just in the nick of time, she saw the baseball bat descend towards the bowl of cereal and was able to ignite her plasma and slice it in two with an upward knife-hand. "Hold it, Dr D," she yelled the second the danger had passed.
"Shego, what are you doing?" Drakken shouted in return. "I was about to crush the little beast and be rid of it for good."
"Not a chance," she said firmly, plucking the other half of the baseball bat from his grasp and turning it to ash. "First, his name's Ru-Ru, so get used to using it. Second, he's under my protection, so try attacking him again and you'll have me to deal with." She raised her ignited hand to emphasize the point.
Drakken visibly gulped under the intense glare from her emerald green eyes and the sight of her plasma.
"And third, he's staying with me, so you'd better get used to having him around the lair."
As she spoke, Ru-Ru nodded his head and said, "uh-hu, uh-hu." And when she finished, he gave Drakken an evil smile and blew him a raspberry.
"WHAT!" Drakken exclaimed as his eyes popped out of his head. "Shego, you can't be serious! That little beast is an uncontrollable terror!"
"Yeah, well, tough luck to you, Dr D, because I am."
"But… that little… it..." Drakken spluttered. He then paused as a smile formed on his face. "Wait a minute, he doesn't belong to you. All I have to do is telephone Amy and she'll come right over and take him away. Yes, ha-ha!" The man's gaze fell upon the naked-mole-shark, "one little phone call and it'll be bye-bye beastie."
Ru-Ru shook his head, "ut-uh, ut-uh!"
"Sorry, Dr D, but that's not going to happen," Shego said firmly, drawing Drakken's attention upon her.
"Say what?"
"I'll be calling Amy myself and telling her that Ru-Ru's going to be staying with me, permanently."
Drakken's expression darkened and he scowled at her. "Amy's never going to agree to that. Besides, since when did you become little Miss Charity?"
"I didn't. He'll be earning his keep," Shego replied. "Although, he is rather amusing to have around." She flashed her boss a wicked smile, "especially given his disposition towards you."
Drakken sat back down at the table and picked up his spoon. Only when he went to scoop up some cereal, he found nothing but a naked-mole-shark. His expression darkened once again and he glared at Ru-Ru. "Why you little…"
"At-at-ah, Dr D," Shego admonished and waggled a lit finger at him. "No touchy my naked-mole-shark."
Drakken growled as he snatched the bowl from the table and stormed off to the kitchenette to refill it.
When he was seated once more, Shego chose to move things along; otherwise nothing would get done. "So, operation lightning-ray. How is that going to work?"
"Ish quhite shimple, Sheho," Drakken said, his mouth full of cereal. He swallowed before continuing, "you're going to steal me this list of components," he fished inside his coat and tossed a rather lengthy list to her, "and I'm going to build it."
"Well, doy, tell me something I don't know," Shego replied sarcastically as she rolled her eyes. She picked up the list and began to scan it. Damn, I'm going to be busy for at least two weeks stealing all this. She then laughed internally. Sucks to be you, Kimmie. You're going to be stuck in anger for about two weeks before this thing is ready to rock and roll. Surprisingly, thinking about her rival did not bring about the anger she herself had felt since their disastrous Friday night. However, she did not have time to ponder the implications of this, as Drakken finally responded.
"We'll need a lot of juice to power my new lightning-ray, so we'll be constructing a new lair."
Shego pinched the bridge of her nose. Nothing said major expenditure quite like a new lair; even if Drakken had been constructing them, 'on the cheap,' as Killigan would say. "Please tell me this one's going to have a nice sunny beach within a ten-minute walk." I really do need a vacation.
"Sorry, Shego," Drakken said as he looked up from his breakfast, a maniacal glint in his eyes, "but this one's going to be hotter than any beach," he rubbed his hands together, "much hotter."
Internally she did a facepalm, aww crap, here we go! "Please tell me it's not…"
"Yes, Shego!" Drakken declared triumphantly. His voice then rose in pitch and bombast as he announced, "this lair will be built atop an active volcano!"
You have got to be kidding me! I was joking when I had that thought earlier! "Ok, slow down there, Dr D. This sounds like a colossal waste of time and money. Can't we just use some mad-science batteries to power this thing?"
"No, Shego, this isn't some stupid death-ray," Drakken said in irritation at the fact she was trying to rain on his parade. "The amount of power that we need to generate is far beyond the capabilities of a couple of mad-science batteries."
"Then let's build the damn thing and then go commandeer a nuclear reactor."
"What? Out of the question. A doomsday weapon such as this demands its own facility in the most extreme and dangerous of conditions."
Shego sighed, this plan sounds like it's been plucked right out of that stupid guide to super-villainy. "You're doing this purely for the aesthetics of it and to stroke your own ego."
"As the super-villain, it is my prerogative to do so, Shego," Drakken replied dismissively. "And as the sidekick, it's your job to cut the backchat and go out and start stealing the components I need to build it."
"Yeah, I'll be sure to get right on that, Dr D," she replied offhandedly as she stood up. "Right after I deal with Amy."
Drakken huffed and looked like he was about to protest, however, a timely intervention from Ru-Ru, who gnashed his razor-sharp shark teeth at him, put pay to it before the man even opened his mouth.
"Come on, Ru-Ru, let's go have a little chat with Amy."
She held out her hand and the naked-mole-shark hopped on and scampered up to her shoulder. Leaving the main chamber, she went to the much quieter study and sat down at the videophone. Picking Ru-Ru up off her shoulder, she set him down in front of the screen as she began scrolling through the contacts list. When she found the one labelled DNAmy, she hit the call button and had to drag the naked-mole-shark back into view by his fin, as he had tried to tiptoe away.
"Hello?" the voice of DNAmy eventually answered, before she appeared on the screen.
"Hey, Amy, it's Shego," she replied.
"Oh, hello there, Sweetie, how are…" Amy trailed off as she caught sight of the naked-mole-shark. "Ru-Ru, there you are! Thank science; I was so worried about you. You are such a menace!" The woman then returned her gaze to Shego. "I hope he hasn't caused you and Drewbie too much trouble."
"No," she replied, giving Ru-Ru a thin smile, "I've managed to keep him under control. He stowed away inside my jacket on Saturday night."
Amy looked appalled as she frowned at the naked-mole-shark. "Ru-Ru, you naughty boy! When you get home, there'll be no junk food for you for a month!"
Ru-Ru quickly scampered over to hide behind the elbow Shego had rested atop the table and he looked up at her, his gaze almost pleading.
Wow, life with Amy must really be bad for him, especially if he is subconsciously aware of how good Rufus has it with Stoppable. It was with difficulty that she gave him a reassuring smile. The act of kindness, on top of what she was about to do for him, falling out with the parameters that defined her Shego persona. I can do this. It's my life and I can choose to do whatever I want. An image of Miss Go nodding at her in approval formed in her mind when she opened her mouth to say, "yeah, about that, Amy... Ru-Ru doesn't want to go home to you."
"Well, of course he doesn't, given how much trouble he's in," Amy said, her gaze then drifted to where the naked naked-mole-shark was hiding, "isn't that right, you little scamp?"
Shego fixed Amy with a firm look and reiterated, "Ru-Ru doesn't want to go home to you," she paused for the briefest of moments before adding, "and I don't want him to go either. He's staying with me."
A look of shock, mixed with astonishment and hurt formed on Amy's face and she stammered, "wha… wha… what?"
"I'm sorry Amy, but Ru-Ru's staying with me," Shego emphasised.
The geneticist ignored her as she stared at the naked-mole-shark in anguish, "Ru-Ru, don't you love mommy?"
Ru-Ru stepped out from his hiding place, looked at his creator and said, "ut-uh," as he shook his little head.
Amy looked as though she had just been stabbed in the heart by her own creation. "B...B...But... Ru-Ru... mommy loves you..."
In what was becoming a rather common uncharacteristic display of empathy, Shego said, "I'm sorry, Amy."
The woman's teary eyes then hardened as her attention snapped back to Shego. "This is all your fault! You had him wrapped around your little finger on Saturday and probably coerced him into leaving with you. I bet you've then let him do what he wants for a day and it's all gone to his little head."
"'Fraid not, Amy. He stowed away in my jacket of his own volition because he hoped I would let him stay with me." Shego elected not to state that she had initially been opposed to the idea.
"Y… you… you can't keep him!" the geneticists blurted out. "I created him, I'm his mother. You don't love him!"
"And you don't either, Amy, not really," Shego fired back. "You claim to, but in reality, each creature you create simply becomes your favourite until you make the next one. They're no more than collectables to you, just like your Cuddle Buddies."
"You can't have him. He belongs to me! I need him for my collection!"
A smirk formed on her face and she had the distinct impression that this was exactly how Miss Go felt when she successfully led her into a pitfall trap. "Case and point, Amy. Ru-Ru's not a possession for us to fight over. He's a sentient being that is capable of making his own choices. Isn't that right, Ru-Ru?"
The naked-mole-shark looked up at her and nodded, "uh-hu, uh-hu."
"And he's decided that he'd rather stay with me."
Ru-Ru nodded again, "uh-hu, uh-hu, stay with Shego."
Amy looked completely flabbergasted. "But... that's not... you can't..." she stammered.
Sensing a weakening in the geneticists resolve, she moved in for the kill. "He's not happy living with you, Amy. I think he's subconsciously aware of the life Rufus has with Stoppable. After all, you did clone him from Rufus before you genetically spliced him with a shark."
The woman looked at the naked-mole-shark. "Were you really that unhappy, Ru-Ru?"
Ru-Ru nodded, "uh-hu. Yucky tubers! Icky beddy-bye time."
"But, Ru-Ru, if you're that unhappy, we can change those things," Amy said in desperation. "I'll let you have some cheese with your tubers and you can stay up half an hour longer."
The naked-mole-shark shook his head, "ut-uh, Shego."
Amy looked like she was about to burst into tears. "Do you really want to stay with Shego?"
The naked-mole-shark nodded enthusiastically. "Yeah, yeah, yeah," he exclaimed, in a manner that reminded her of a certain cartoon dog.
"I'll take good care of him," Shego said quickly, trying to ease some of the pain she could see this was causing Amy.
The woman let out a loud sniffle and dabbed her eyes with a flowery handkerchief. "O...o...ok..." Amy paused to blow her nose before adding, "if it's what will make you happy, Ru-Ru."
Perhaps it was in an attempt to continue to push beyond the boundaries of being Shego, or maybe she had just gone mad, but, without really thinking of the implications for herself, she then said, "next time Drakken has game day, I'll bring him over."
Amy nodded, "that would be nice." She then looked down at the naked-mole-shark, "bye-bye, Ru-Ru. Mommy will miss you."
Ru-Ru waved a little paw and said, "bye-bye." The second the line went dead, he turned to Shego and gave her a mischievous grin that said, "I told you so."
"Yeah-yeah, well done," Shego said grudgingly, "just don't think I'm going to be that much of a pushover when it comes to the house rules."
She received a look that clearly said, "is that a challenge."
Rolling her eyes, she picked up the list Dr Drakken had handed her earlier. "Right, ready to head out and steal us some high-tech goodies?"
Ru-Ru grinned at her and gnashed his teeth, presumably at the prospect of getting to give some unsuspecting security guard the chomp, "uh-hu, uh-hu!" He then hopped down off the table and before Shego could stop him, scampered up her leg and into her utility pouch.
Instead of trying to fight with him, she simply pinched the bridge of her nose, urgh! At the rate I'm going, I might as well just put on the stupid teal headband and invite Kimmie out for coffee. She quickly shook her head. No, focus, Shego, you've got work to do. Besides, given the stunt you pulled last night, going for coffee will be the last thing Princess will want to do with you. Putting the thought to one side, she wandered out of the study. With Amy now safely dealt with, it was time to get to work.