The next chapter is finally here!

I know you've all been waiting patiently for this, and thank you for your kind reviews. The next few chapters will focus a bit more on some gushy content and maybe a bit of saucy lemon ;)

~ Mandochk

I should have been glad that we had left Moria, but I wasn't.

The sight of the fellowship lamenting the loss of Gandalf was soul destroying. Three of the hobbits where slumped in a huddle in the protective shade of a broken boulder, openly weeping for the wizard. Pippin looked absolutely devastated, his face white and cheeks tear stained. I could see the guilt in his eyes, a remorse that I felt all too familiar with. It was the knowledge that you were responsible for what had happened as it sank into your thoughts.

I opened my mouth to say something, to say that Gandalf was very much alive, and then close it with a shake of my head as I recalled that I couldn't tell any of them about future events. Just like I couldn't tell them that this was an event that needed to happen and nor could I tell them of a dozen other situations they would find themselves in months from now. Only Boromir understood the terrible truth of my gift, understood that this was a curse, and that no man should have to decide the future of the world.

Out of all the members of the fellowship it was unsurprising that Legolas would be one one that swung toward me with hate-filled eyes. I had wished so badly in the mines to reach out to him, to build some kind of friendship with the elf - that we didn't have to fight. But that could never be. That chance was now gone, taken down into the endless depths of Moria and would never be given again.

"Why didn't you warn us. We could have saved him! This is your fault,"

I looked down to the ground. Not wanting to look at the elf as he vocalised my internal guilt back at me. My eyes burned from the tears that still yet lingered at the edges of my eyes.

"I couldn't ... this had to happen ..."

My eyes lifted to look up at the elf, watching as Legolas's face burned red with his anger, the knuckles that still held to his bow turning white as he gripped tightly to the wood. The only thing that stopped him rushing towards me to unleash his building anger was Boromir whom held tight to the elf's shoulder.

"You knew everything that would happen in those mines. Knew the horrors we would face ... and you made that choice to expose us all to that danger, regardless. This did not have to happen, we could have stopped this a dozen times yet you stood back and let Gandalf die! And for what? The greater good?"

Blazing anger replaced my guilt, a shaking hand pressing to the ground to pull myself to my feet again. Every muscle in my body burned with exhaustion, a painful reminder that I had overdone it and needed to recover. It was a recovery that would have to wait for later because right now all I wanted to do was to take my anger and frustrations out on the elf.

"Do you not remember what I said when we hid from the crows? I refuse to bring darkness into the world just because I changed history as it is written. Yes, you are right, I could have saved you this horror several times over, but if I saved Gandalf what kind of influence would it have had on our futures?. As painful as it is to hear, trust me when I say that this is a fixed point in time and needed to happen,"

The elf narrowed his eyes at me, and it pained me to know that nothing I said would ever change his mind. Boromir ever the diplomat gently pulled the elf away from me, giving a shake of his head as Aragorn moved toward us with a concerned look on his face. The would be king of Gondor would occasionally look back toward the black doorway we had run out from. The concern he wore was not aimed at the fight that was happening between me and Legolas, but toward the danger that still yet lingered in Moria.

"Enough. We have to get moving, by nightfall these hills will be swarming with orcs!"

Boromir kept hold of Legolas just long enough to make sure the elf would do nothing stupid, then turned to extend his arm toward the Hobbits. I could only see three of them, slumped against a rock and holding to each other for comfort. The expression on Boromir's face said it all - of his concern for those in the fellowship whom where suffering, his lingering frustration that Aragorn showed little compassion for those that needed it, and the overwhelming tiredness of having to deal with not only the elf but also the aches and pains from the injuries he'd picked up in the fight.

"Give them a moment for pity's sake!"

Aragorn shook his head, sheathing his sword back into its scabbard as his head tilted to indicate the direction we needed to travel in. Like me, the ranger was having to make a tough choice. He knew that everyone needed to rest, that they were pained by what had happened, but stopping to rest was just too risky.

"We must reach the woods of Lothlorien. Come Legolas, get them up,"

Legolas turned his back on Boromir with a scowl, striding over toward where Gimli sat huddled on the ground in despair. I watched the golden-haired male as he easily pulled the heavy dwarf up to his feet, trying to fight back the growing ache in the pit of my stomach, and tore my attention away from the pair to go help Boromir with the hobbits. The distant voice of Aragorn calling out to Frodo reached my ears, but I barely heard it, for I was too focused on the saddened eyes of Pippin.

"This is all my fault, isn't it?"

I shook my head and pulled the smaller man in for a hug. Pippin had to feel awful, after all if he had been able to not listen to his Tookish urges then the falling chain would never had awoken the wicked creatures in the mines.

"No. This is not your fault, Pippin. If anyone is to blame, it should be me,"

Pippin didn't have to shoulder this blame. He was far too young and innocent. If I could spare him that pain then I would do so. What was a little more blame on top of everything else I had to shoulder? I offered the hobbit what I hoped to be a comforting smile, though I felt that it was a poor effort at most. Pippin held on to me for a few minutes and then let me free to go walk beside Merry.

"You are a sympathetic friend to the Hobbit, however I wish that you wouldn't shoulder all of this blame onto your own shoulders,"

I offered Boromir a pained smile, grateful as ever that he stood by me - my lifeline in a stormy sea. It still sometimes surprised me he had forgiven me so easily after telling him of his impending death. I hated him for holding it against me for so long, and now I sometimes wished he had hated me for just a little longer, for surely I had deserved his hate just as much as I deserved Legolas's.

"If it helps him, then I would shoulder that blame a dozen times Boromir. Legolas is right, I could have stopped all this. I could have saved Pippin from his guilt and saved the fellowship the pains of watching Gandalf fall ... but I did not. I am just a coward,"

Boromir watched the fellowship as they started the lengthy walk toward Lothlorien, his posture tall and unwavering - ever the steward's son. The weight of his hand against the small of my back was a slight comfort, his fingers spread out over my shirt and rubbing in a circular motion as he sought to bring me some comfort.

"You are no coward. I once said you carried a great burden, and I still stand by my words. If you think some great ill will befall the world if you where to save Gandalf, then I am inclined to believe you - you alone know how treacherous the path we walk will become."

My feet moved without me even thinking of it, following in Samwise's path as the stout hobbit walked in front of me. The sandy-haired fellow was quiet, his worried gaze on Frodo as we finally caught up with the teary eyed Frodo. I could have also saved the ring bearer significant pain, could have warned him that going into Moria would cost us greatly, but what was the alternative? I didn't know what that other story would have looked like? Would it have served us as a favourable route?. Or would the Orcs of Isenguard have caught us before we even reached Rohan? I would now never know.

"Every time I think I have the courage to make a change it leaves me the instant the time comes to make it. I fear that I might never know the reason for my being here, might never know when I should give up my knowledge of the future ..."

Boromir slipped into step beside me, the hand on my back snaking around my waist and pulling my body tight in against his. The chill of Moria still yet clung to his chain shirt and leather jerkin, spreading into my body and reminding me that in a few days' time the chill of death would soon claim him. There did not seem enough time to fit in a lifetime of memories with the man I loved, each day seeming to pass quicker than the last, and it was getting harder to not sink lower into my spiralling anxieties and depression.

"When the time comes to act, you will know."

I appreciated that Boromir had so much faith in me, had to believe that he was right - just like Gandalf was right that I would not cause the fellowship to fail. My body followed the downward gradient of the mountainside as my thoughts wandered, eyes focused on the distant forest that awaited us, and allowed my body to flop into Boromir's so that my face rested against his side.

"I can only hope that when the time comes, I will have the confidence and courage to act,"

His lips pressed against my forehead, a soft pressure that filled me with warmth and love. I felt selfish for lumping my pains on him when I had not even asked if he was okay yet, that despite his internal struggles he remained dedicated to making sure that I was okay. Boromir was selfless, a true gentleman whose principal focus was my well-being, and whatever his needs had come second.

"You will find your courage, until then I am happy to lend you my strength should you have need of it,"

I had never met a man like Boromir back in London. Perhaps it was why I'd never settled down. Sure the dates had come thick and thin, but nothing had ever clicked - as if fate knew that there was something better out there for me. I also knew that this was a side of Boromir that would soon fade, replaced by his wicked desires for the one ring of power.

The frigid chill returned to my heart. I wanted so badly to keep him from that fate, wanted so badly for him to remain as he was, and I hoped that I found my courage sooner rather than later. I looked up into his eyes, searching out for that ominous shadow, but only saw warmth and love in those grey depths.

I had to save him, no matter what it took, and if that caused something catastrophic to happen ... well, I would worry about it when the time came.