CHAPTER XVII: EMERGENCE

"Do we... have to do this?..." I ask Shalltear nervously as I watch her undo her bow and headpiece to allow her silver hair to fall down her back. She sighs in relief at having her hair down and continues to undress by pulling the laces on the neck of her corset, her hands pulling the bottom slowly upwards. I can hear the smile in her words as the clothing comes off, her pale shiny skin exposed to view. "You said you'd follow me wherever I go. I assume that wasn't a lie?"

"But a bath...that's...sudden...and extreme..." I reply, my head wanting to turn away and my body wanting to turn around but her previous command overwriting both actions. I want to cover my face or some other action of embarrassment when I see her pull at her lower skirt, her head turning back slightly with a wicked smile as she undoes the lower section painfully slowly. Her dress comes away, revealing her underwear of black lace and as if taunting me to disobey, she places both hands on the back straps of her bra. Her head tilts upwards as if thinking before she asks, "Do you remember what I said way back when in E-Rantel? I don't quite recall."

We both know the answer already and I pale a little at her remembering that far back. I reply to her words timidly, "You said...not to give you the choice to have your way...because I'll regret it...and you won't..."

She deftly unlatches her bra with her left hand, her right hand pulling it off and dropping it casually to the tiled floor. While her left hand slowly lowers her panties, she says to me with amusement, "Not many see me in such a casual setting. You should feel honoured instead of panicky."

She doesn't wait for my reply, her unclothed form waltzing into the obsidian tub and gently entering the warm water. She gently turns and lays down in the water, exposing her front to me as she closes her eyes and exhales in relief. Silver hair gently floats on the water's surface before her left index finger gestures for me to come to her. I slowly walk forwards and try to focus on her face as she whispers, "This is a bath, genius. You plan to wear your clothes in the bath?"

I don't feel comfortable getting undressed in front of her but freeze in place to do as she says, my hands slightly shaking as I undo my belt and shorts. She tells me to hurry up as I slide off my boxers, my body quickly leaving the clothing behind as I enter the water at the other end of the tub. I'm silently amazed at just how large the tub is, the area of water large enough to bathe half a dozen beings comfortably. The dark tub fits perfectly with the simple decor and I almost forget the situation I'm in as I close my eyes and exhale in relief, my body enjoying the feeling of warmth and comfort.

The water swishes as Shalltear moves through it, my eyes opening but forcefully staring at the ceiling. I can already sense her trajectory and try to prepare myself mentally but remain ill-equipped when she wraps her arms around my neck and lays herself against me. My head leans to the right to avoid too much skin contact but she leans my head back with her left hand to make my cheek touch hers. She leans my head down so that I'm staring ahead, her cold skin rubbing against mine as she whispers into my ear, "You're cute when you panic. You've already bedded a few women so why are you nervous now?"

"This is...the first time I've bathed with...someone..." I'm able to whisper, Shalltear growing still and leaning her head back slightly. She asks me if I'm being serious to which I can only nod lightly, her cheek rubbing against mine lightly as she whispers, "Yeah...well...you aren't the only one so...try to relax..."

It sounds like she's trying to convince herself more than convince me but suddenly, she moves into my lap and kisses me on the lips. It's a forceful kiss at first but slowly develops into something shared, my arms moving around her as her legs wrap around my waist and back. I grunt lightly when her nails dig into my upper back but I ignore the pain and the slight amount of blood. All thoughts leave my head as I'm dragged into intimacy but come screaming back into my head when Shalltear forces herself back with a gasp, her head lowing as she says through breaths, "I don't need...more emotions...I need...a distraction..."

"I can do that," I reply as I resume what she started, my right hand gently lifting her head back up so our lips can meet again. I shake a little when I feel her legs tighten around my waist, her cold skin making my body scream for further action but my mind forcing the urges down for the sake of courtesy. The body wins out because I can't stop an erection from forming, a smile growing on Shalltear's face as we kiss. My body begins to vibrate lightly when she rubs her lower body against my crotch, her lips leaving mine as she whispers, "That's certainly a distraction. I didn't think you would have such an immediate reaction."

"I'm trying to be honest with you...but it's...difficult..." I whisper with embarrassment but Shalltear keeps smiling as she kisses me to silence me. She makes sure I'm not going to say anything before breaking contact, her kisses long enough and intoxicating enough to rid me of unneeded thoughts for a time. She whispers to me between kisses, "Stop justifying yourself...neither of us has anything to prove...just...do what comes naturally."

Mental programming triggers in my brain, overwriting all other thoughts save a few. I take charge of the situation by holding Shalltear by her lower and upper back, kissing her more passionately as well. She stiffens slightly from my sudden assertiveness and I'm fearful that she'll bite down on my tongue intruding in her mouth but find my fears unfounded, her initial resistance minor and slowly fading with each moment shared. Sweet and savoury is not what I'm expecting her mouth to taste like but we spend slow moments breaking our false expectations.

I don't know how long the moment lasts but break the kiss reluctantly after plenty of exploring. Shalltear gasps lightly as both of my hands move down to her lower back and onto her hips. She understands my intentions and loosens her legs slightly, allowing me to line ourselves up for the next phase. I force myself to go slowly as to not hurt her but Shalltear leans back and forces herself downwards with a muffled cry. Her eyes close tightly and she bites down on her lower lip, a slight trickle of blood running down her chin from her fangs puncturing the skin. I calm myself and hold her gently in place, supporting her weight while waiting for her body to relax.

She relaxes and gasps in pain, her eyes staring at me with a mix of agony and excitement as she gently leans into me. My arms automatically move to her upper and lower back as her head moves over my left shoulder, her wet silver hair slapping me in the face without warning. I stop for a moment from how ridiculous a moment this is but move my head to dislodge the hair from my face with some difficulty.

Shalltear tightens her limb around me as I start to move, my body trying to find the right speed and the right points. It takes only moments to find what's needed before I swap to maintaining a slow pace and listening for any further cues from Shalltear. She suddenly breaks the kiss we're sharing and gasps to me, "I lied...I need to know something emotional...why did you pick me?...what is it about me that you need so badly that you forsook all other options?..."

"Nothing rational," I gasp in reply, Shalltear giving me a puzzled look while trying to keep control of her feelings. It's incredibly difficult to think in such an intimate exchange of bodies but I'm able to groan, "You're attractive to me...and interesting...not in a normal way...I needed a change..."

"You deviant," she replies with a chuckle before she kisses me into silence. She lets the moment continue on its own and I oblige her, losing more and more doubts as we reach the inevitable end of our exchange. She breaks her kiss as she holds onto my body firmly and whispers, "But you're my deviant now."

We reach our limits. Shalltear is mid-kiss when she feels what I feel and let's her pent up frustration out at the same time as I do. My entire body tenses as the built-up sexual frustration of months releases inside her, her cold body tightening around mine. Our kiss is more to block out our noise but I break the kiss once my body relaxes, almost passing out from all of my energy draining out. Shalltear shares my fight with unconsciousness, her body going limp in my arms as she leans against me heavily and whispers, "Great...just...great..."

I nod in reply and try to get up but her weight is too much for my exhausted frame to overcome. Shalltear gently floats off of me and glides towards the rim of the tub, her arms struggling to get herself out of the tub. The most she can manage is to hold onto the rim as she whispers, "If I knew...that would be so...exhausting...I would've preferred...bed..."

My body tries to rise again but I still can't manage it. I settle back into the water and try to float towards her instead, a sense of childlike enjoyment filling me and a foolish smile crossing my face. My arms lightly wave in the water to direct my movement but my head is the first body part to bump into Shalltear's back. She doesn't seem to notice and says to me as I float the other direction, "Can you...can you get up?"

"Kind of..." I answer as I slowly sit myself up and turn to Shalltear. She gestures in the air with her right hand, my foolish smile becoming a look of surprise from how quickly her servants open the double doors and enter the bath. One servant gathers Shalltear in her arms while another walks into the tub and collects me, her strength fearsome for someone so slight. They don't seem bothered by our weight nor care that their dresses are soaked as they quickly walk out of the bathroom, their stride as sure and focused as any soldier would be.

The water coating my body floats off as we pass through the door, leaving me slightly itchy from the sudden dryness. I try not to scratch knowing how badly my claws can gnarl the scales and focus on the current situation, looking around at the bed chamber that I barely noted on the way in. It fits with the house's dark aesthetic, the only defining features of the room being the large window with thin black curtains and a massive curtained bedspread that has the same colour palette as Shalltear's normal gown. The curtains part without being touched and Shalltear is placed gently into bed. It finally occurs to me that I'm being placed in her bed next to her but I'm too tired to resist the servants and allow myself to be tucked in. The comfortable sheets change my fight with sleep into a losing battle and I close my eyes as exhaustion takes a firm hold.

I hear Shalltear whisper that she loves me but am unsure if I hear the words at all. I move my arms automatically around something pressing against my chest, an odd sensation of cold spreading across my scales.

I whisper the words back, unsure if they're heard but hoping that they are.

Sensations return and I open my eyes to artificial daylight, my body quickly sitting up while my right-hand moves the sheets partially off me. The window curtains are open, allowing the daylight in and exposing the morbidly beautiful landscape outside. Shalltear is sitting at the bed's edge closest to the window and seems to be staring at something outside. As if sensing my wakefulness, she says without looking at me, "I need you to listen...and don't say anything..."

I don't know how to respond so I keep silent and lay back down, my gaze drawn to the ceiling of the bedding since I don't want to upset her by roving over her body with my eyes. My body is already tensing slightly in expectation and Shalltear doesn't disappoint, saying to me in a low voice, "When Roeray and I...when we made our pact...and she handed you over to me...she told me everything...all of your weaknesses...all of your fears...all of your nightmares...the path we took together was laid by her..."

It made sense and I feel relieved instead of angry, taking comfort in the thought that Shalltear was shown what to exploit rather than finding me so easy to read. I don't let the comfort show and continue to listen, breaking my eyes away from the ceiling to watch Shalltear clench her hands into fists on the bed. She becomes suddenly angry and hisses at me, "She knew...she knew that the only way to save you...was to let things happen...you wouldn't let go of them without a fight and it was killing you inside and out...so she put me in her place so that...so that she could just...let things happen..."

The relief I feel sours and becomes growing despair. Shalltear has given me the missing information I need and it makes me sick to think that the two beings I held so dear to me had to die for me to live on. I growl without meaning to, the growl filled with self-loathing and anger but quickly snuffed out. Shalltear shouts and suddenly lashes out with her left hand, a wave of black energy whipping left and smashing a decorated vase on her dresser into splinters of porcelain. Her breathing is too quick and she shouts to no one in particular, "She chose me to be here! She trusted me! Why!? Did she take pity on me!? Is this her last jab at me because she knew it wouldn't work out!? Does she think I'm qualified for this!? Someone tell me the answers, damn it!"

She lashes out again with another angry shout, another black wave slashing into the window in front of her. The wave cuts through the curtains and glass as if it was air, leaving a clean hole that lets the noise from outside into the bedroom. Shalltear groans aloud trying to contain her growing rage and I spot blood seeping out of her clenched fists. Her left fist raises to lash out again but she hesitates, returning the fist angrily to her side and visibly trying to get her breathing under control. I start to feel guilt when I hear her start to choke on her words, her anger mixing with sadness as she shouts at me, "There! There, I said it! It's all out in the open so...so just hurry up and call everything off! I'm not the one that should be here, okay!? I was just going along with the last wishes of someone else!"

Despite the situation, I smile to myself because I figure out the answer she needs. My body slowly rises and moves out of the sheets so I can shimmy myself over to her but I have to hasten my pace when she tries to move away. I'm able to hold onto her around the shoulders but she tries to dislodge my arms, her nails biting into my scales in her frenzy of aggressive pulls. I'm able to hold on anyways and wait long enough until she relents, an angry exhale exiting her nose as she puts her hands to her sides and shouts, "Don't you dare pity me too! You were just doing what you were told just like me! We're both just pawns being pushed at each other by different players! Well, I'm not about to commit to-"

"Thank you," I say gently, Shalltear halting in her tirade and tensing in growing anger. Before she can rant at me again, I continue with, "You could've just kept all that to yourself but you didn't. You didn't want dishonesty to be the base of what we have together...I...and I don't want us to be apart so easily."

I can hear her angry breathing and feel it through my arms. Yet the anger slowly subsides and gives way to a pang of deep sadness. I hold her closer as she starts to cry, the tears dropping onto my arms as she whispers to me, "Why?... Why did they have to betray me like that?... Why didn't he tell me?... Why did she take him away?..."

A wave of focused anger pushes thoughts into my head. Shalltear senses the change and moves my arms gently off her, her body turning slightly to the left so she can look at me directly. Whatever she sees on my face must make her wary because she gives me a concerned look despite her tears. I return her gaze and in a harsh tone, I tell her what we need to do.

"Let's go ask them."