What a Woman Wants
Apologies to any followers about a double-posting message about this chapter. The chapters of this story have been rearranged to accommodate a new Table of Contents. 3
Typical, Pansy thought to herself as she glanced around the garden party. She was used to being overlooked, truly, but this time it really hurt. So many of her peers were more intelligent, more beautiful, more adventurous. She was used to it. Hell, other than her seventh year at Hogwarts she hadn't even been top five in her House.
It really shouldn't matter to her that nobody put her on a pedestal with some superlative about how wonderful she was. Really, it was quite mundane to want to be something like "most likely to run for Minister." But was it so much that she at least wanted to be considered for "most likely to marry a Minister"?
But no. Everyone was fawning over Astoria today. Precious Astoria Greengrass, who got everything that Pansy had always wanted. Looks, a soft-spoken manner, and Draco Malfoy for a husband. The girl was so wonderful that Pansy's mother's guests were fawning over the wrong engagement. Even in the only expectation she was given, to find a well-bred husband, she was overlooked.
Pansy's face was sour as she drank her elf wine, a vintage her mother had bought special for her pre-engagement-party soiree. Because it was such an honor to be engaged to bloody Theodore Nott. The second most handsome guy in Slytherin. The man who lived in the shadow of his father's disgrace and seemed to want nothing to do with anyone at that point. The man who clung to neutrality like a toddler clung to their favorite stuffed animal.
Of course, nobody would know that's what she thought. Pansy would grin and bear it, as the muggles said. She laughed in her head. Close her eyes and think of England. She was hilarious.
When Astoria came to her on the arm of her sister showing off the Malfoy family jewels on her finger and around her neck, Pansy would be all smiles and delight. Of course, they would compare rings and delight together at being brides together soon. But, then Astoria would leave to chat with someone else, and she would take the limelight with her.
I'm not bitter, Pansy thought. After all, the Malfoy name was dragged through the mud due not only to Lucius, but also due to the Mark on Draco's arm. And yet Astoria was the bride everyone wanted to focus on. Beautiful Astoria. Lucky Astoria. Fucking Astoria.
"You know how the older witches can be at these things," said Daphne, Pansy's best friend, as she sat down next to her. "Anything to cause drama, right?"
"Oh yes," said Pansy, not hiding her bitterness well. "Astoria will make a lovely bride. And Pansy too, I guess."
Daphne lightly swatted Pansy's arm. "In all fairness, she hasn't officially announced her engagement through the Prophet yet. All these women probably think they are privy to inside information and that's why they're fawning so much," Daphne replied.
"Doesn't change the fact that I am being overlooked at my own engagement tea. God, I hope she isn't invited to the official party next week." Pansy played with the rim of her wine glass, lips turned down in concern.
"Theo is quite the catch though! Handsome, and intelligent too! He was right under Draco in both of those categories." Daphne was trying, Pansy could tell, but it certainly wasn't working.
In fact, it almost made Pansy laugh. "At least Draco has ambitions, and your Blaise is new money so he will be interesting to keep up with. Theo is content to live in solitude, drinking with friends and managing his investments from the solitude of his home."
Daphne scoffed. "Are you Pansy Parkinson or not?" she asked. Pansy quirked her brow as Daphne continued. "If I remember correctly, it was you who manipulated Draco to the top of the food chain back in school. So what if Theo isn't everything you want? Either change him, or go after those things yourself."
Pansy contemplated what her best friend said quietly. "I don't even know what I want…" she muttered. Sure, she could manipulate the man who was to be her husband easily. She had done it before with Draco, as Daphne had pointed out. But there was something to be said for doing things herself. Pansy would be the first to admit that she went on a power trip seventh year when she was named Head Girl, and fifth year before that as a Prefect and member of the Inquisitorial Squad, but it felt good to hold the power. It was more than she'd ever been told she could have.
Daphne nodded sadly and stood to leave. "I have to get back to Astoria before Narcissa drives her mad." She grasped Pansy's hand for a moment before leaving. "Promise me you'll think about what you want though, okay Pans?"
What I want… Pansy thought with a frown. Remembering her manners, she squeezed Daphne's hand in reply. "I will."
The thought plagued her late into the night. What do I want? Pansy asked herself. Well, she knew the answer to that. She wanted to be in control. At Hogwarts, she had controlled first her social life through Draco, then her fellow students through positions of power. But despite her power in school, she had lost it afterward. No longer did she have her social connections and a confined space. She only had her two NEWTs in Herbology and Divination…
She didn't even have Draco anymore! Not that she was necessarily complaining, because he was a royal pain to deal with when she did have him, but at least he was a somebody. Now she was stuck marrying a nobody…
Well, that wasn't exactly true. Theo came from a long, pure-blood lineage. He came from old money and good breeding. He was attractive and intelligent. He just wasn't ambitious. Odd, he was probably the only Slytherin she knew who did not have overt ambitions. Maybe they were internal ambitions? Have a successful business and a loving wife ambitions? That couldn't be it. Their engagement was arranged for them for the purposes of maintaining pure lineage.
But what she wanted… was it really just control? Of course that was part of it, but that felt so petty and trivial. Perhaps… but no, that wouldn't be possible. She remembered her upbringing. Her job was to be a good pure-blood wife. She was to do as her husband commanded, respect and honor his beliefs and help him to reach his ambitions.
Well, that wouldn't do if they didn't align with hers. She had also learned from her mother that a husband was there to be a figurehead for the wife. He may hold the power, but it was her job to wield it. Thinking back, it had worked with Draco to an extent… but Pansy didn't feel good doing that. No, she would need to talk with Theo and find out what he wanted… and if she could live with it.
A few days after the garden party, Pansy met up with Theo for drinks at Nott manor. She figured, since she now knew what she wanted, she ought to know what he wanted. After all, good pure-blood women were stuck to the men they married whether they liked it or not.
For a while, they exchanged pleasantries about his business ventures and investments, her parties and friends. After a perfectly appropriate twenty-two minutes, Pansy felt the need to bring up the elephant in the room.
"We are to be married," she pointed out.
Theo chuckled. "So I've been told. All I had to do was pick the ring and sign the paperwork." He leaned back in his chair and examined her. "And I assume you came to see if I will fight it with you? Insist you not be mine? We both know how these things work, Pans."
Pansy shook her head. "No, I know better. After seventh year, I'll be cast out of my family without a good match. And you are one of the few that know of my failures in school."
He cocked his head to the side and leaned forward again. "Then why are you here, Pansy? You never do anything without reason, much less a social visit."
She sighed. Here goes nothing… "What exactly are your ambitions, Theo?"
He leaned his elbows on the table and placed his fingers together. For a minute, he looked deep in thought. Pansy felt uncomfortable as he refused to look at her, fiddling with the tumbler of firewhiskey in front of him.
Abruptly, he began to speak. "I never thought myself particularly ambitious, actually. Cunning enough to survive seven years in the snake pit without a cattle brand, but not necessarily after anything in particular. Even with my father pressuring me to take the Mark, I suppose my only ambition was to remain neutral." He looked up, looking Pansy in the eyes. She gulped. "Above all, I simply long for peace."
Her eyebrows scrunched up and she tilted her head. "Longing for peace isn't an ambition unless you work for it."
Theo shook his head. "I haven't the constitution. I merely hope to live out the rest of my days without needing to conceal who I am for my own safety."
"Again, that's not very ambitious," Pansy argued. She was certain this man had been a Slytherin though. They'd shared a common room for seven years!
Theo frowned. "I do not aim to be. At most I want a successful business and a quiet life. Maybe children in the future, maybe not, but I want to see this world at peace."
Pansy mulled over his words as they silently sipped their firewhiskey. Peace… I don't think I've ever had that…
"What of your ambitions, Pansy?" Theo asked, not unkindly.
She looked up at him startled. How could she not have expected him to return her question?
"I've never had peace," she started. "And my whole life was planned for me from birth. Find a good, pure-blood man to marry. Then sit at home hosting tea parties and popping out kids for nannies to raise. It was all I knew… But then I went to Hogwarts. And with Draco and Daphne and our friends, I was powerful. My voice was heard. What I thought mattered. My ambition is to be heard again. I think the last time anyone heard me was when I thought we should hand over Potter back last May."
Theo's face showed slight shock, but when she paused he motioned for her to continue.
"I want to be a part of rebuilding our world. I know that being pure-blood won't get me very far anymore, but I want to be important. I want to be in the room where decisions are made and not have my life laid out for me anymore."
"And me?" Theo asked. "Where does the good, pure-bood husband fit in this picture?"
Pansy shrugged with a sad smile. "Honestly, I haven't gotten that far. But I figured it's only fair to let you know what I want before we are married and inevitably try to manipulate you into doing things my way."
Theo chuckled and looked at her engagement ring. She knew that he hadn't picked it for sentimental reasons… but it still made her feel small. As though all she was to be was a quiet, docile wife. A wife like Astoria would be.
"I don't love you," he said simply. She gulped and nodded. She had expected that, and did not love him either.
"That said," he continued. "That ring makes us partners. I don't want you to have to manipulate me to get what you want. I want peace. If you want to make it happen, and give a voice to young pure-bloods everywhere, I will not stop you. Knowing you for as long as I have, I am certain no wizard alive could stop you once you got going."
Pansy's eyes grew wide. She hadn't expected that. She was actually fully prepared to jump ship and haul ass to her villa on the coast of France, willed to her by dear Aunt Margie, to wait for the fallout of her leaving him to hit.
He continued, speaking simply. "The Nott family holds a seat on the Wizengamot. As the wife of the heir of House Nott, you could claim that seat with my support. That will put you in the room where it happens, so to speak. All I ask in return is that you work toward the peace I want to see. Is that agreeable?"
Pansy's eyes filled with happy tears. It was more than she could have imagined. She may not have had many OWLs to her name, but she was very well versed in politics and current events. It was too good to be true.
"Why would you do that for me?" she asked, ramming the brakes on her excitement.
Theo smiled and took a sip of his firewhiskey. "Call it my own ambition," he said simply, then smirked. "I would empty my vaults if it meant seeing the old, wizened men of the Wizengamot chamber cower before you."
Pansy finally allowed herself to grin. This man must have been taught the phrase "happy wife, happy life" at some point. She downed the rest of her glass.
"You know, Theo," she started. He raised an eyebrow at her. "I don't love you either. But keep this up and there is a strong possibility that I could."
Not two weeks after their wedding, with her husband at her side, Pansy successfully petitioned for the Nott family seat in the Wizengamot. Within two years, her seat was placed among the senior mugwumps as a voice for the younger generation. She single-handedly halted moves on at least three marriage and procreation bills that passed before the chamber with her firm speech and skills of persuasion. She then rallied the Wizengamot to create a voluntary, incentivized program for having magical children for all couples, thereby solving the perceived problem without inciting outrage in the magical community. Because of this, she slowly began to make friends with members of the Ministry elite, going so far as to spend the Ministry's Yule Ball that year seated beside Hermione Granger-Weasley. Theo didn't argue that one, since Pansy was certain the other woman would be Minister one day.
On her five-year wedding anniversary, Mrs. Pansy Nott celebrated the passage of the Courtship Act, a law she had helped write to ensure both parties in an arranged marriage were compatible prior to marriage. It required that both individuals be of the age of majority, and engage in a month of courtship prior to signing off on any engagement contract. She did not want any young girls to feel like she had. Overlooked and powerless.
Sometime during their fifth year of marriage, while sitting together in their shared study, Theo admitted that he had grown to love her. Because of her, the Nott name was once again something to be proud of. But beyond that, she had kept her word by making their home, and their world, a peaceful place.
Pansy promptly called him a prat and accused him of only saying it because she was pregnant. However, her radiant smile when hosting Sunday Tea the next day while on the arm of her husband gave her real feelings away.
And Astoria? Well, she and Draco lived on separate continents by this point. Not that it was a contest, but Pansy was pretty sure she'd won.
A/N: Thank you for reading! If you enjoyed what you read, leave a comment for me because I'd love to know! To stay up-to-date on any new stories from me, I recommend following me on tumblr wolfmoonwrites. I wrote this to procrastinate writing on a soon-to-be-posted chapter fic, and used prompts from a QLFC procrastination thread. Write about someone who is stronger than they look, and Pansy Parkinson.