Stan was ready for Ford to come back. He'd been ready for thirty years, forty if you squinted, but this time he was ready-ready.
He rubbed his head, those 'minor gravity anomalies' weren't so minor anymore. Ford really needed to get his facts straight. Stan looked up and saw a dark figure fall onto their back from through the portal, and he knew it could only be one person. Or at least, it should have been
"Who... Who is that?" Stan vaguely heard Dipper speak, and he was just going to answer when the figure called out, "Pines!"
That was a woman's voice. A young one at that. Stan watched in almost horror as the woman pushed herself onto her hands and feet, then stood up and dashed up to the portal. "No, no, no...You idiot! Give him back you triangular... Triangular..." The woman slammed her fists against the portal, clangs muffled by the hush of air that the portal was still making. The woman sounded like she was ready to cry. After a few moments of silence, she just held the sides of her fists against the metal and stood quietly. No one dared make a sound.
The woman breathed in deeply, then turned around to face Stan and the children.
"Oh man..." She mumbled. "The brother." She reached behind her head and pulled her black hair from out of a pony-tail, and let it drape down her back, taking her face mask off a moment later. She looked tired and mournful, and Stan wondered, for the hundredth time, who she was.
"Uh..." He said, and he felt like shrinking back when she laid her heavy eyes on him. "Who are you? Where's my brother?"
The woman choked up, her... red? eyes filling with tears, which she promptly wiped away. She curled her thin pale hands into fists and muttered something that sounded vaguely menacing under her breath.
"Your brother is someplace we cannot go." She said quietly, taking a few steps in Stan's direction. She reached into her matte black coat and pulled out a small billfold, which she opened, revealing a hexagonal gold badge. "And my name is Luitenant Kacy Zenith of the ACA. Dimension H-23'\. I'm your brother's partner..." Her voice trailed off and she solemnly placed her badge back into her coat. There was a moment of silence. "Or... At least, I was."
Stan's mouth dropped.
"Well, well, well. Look who fell behind this time."
Ford looked up at Kacy, who was leaning against the doorframe of an interdimensional prison. He didn't bother standing up, his feet encased about an inch into the floor, he just raised an eyebrow at her and raised his cuffed hands. "I assure you, I wasn't trying to." He said, and she chuckled.
She dropped her hand down to a small blaster tucked inside of her short black coat. Her eyes sparkled with an evil glint and she glanced behind her, where two dog-like prison guards were lying against the hallway's walls, tiny tendrils of smoke rising up from their backs. "Of course you weren't Pines. I think something would be wrong with you if you were. Besides the usual of course."
Ford rolled his eyes at his partner's grin. "Yes yes. Of course. Now, these cuffs are magnetized to the floor, so I won't be able to leave until you deactivate them. Unless you want the warden after us."
Kacy shrugged, "Sounds fun." She said, and didn't pay attention to Ford's exacerbated sigh. "Come on Pines, let's get you out of here. You know you're getting too old for this kind of thing." She stepped over to him, her golden kneepads clinking as she kneeled down in front of him and plugged a key into the floor next his covered feet, a small electric wire connecting to his handcuffs deactivating once she did so. He hadn't been in that particular prison long enough to get a jumpsuit, but he was missing his weapons and badge.
"Can't believe the rest of the Association would just let you rot here." She mumbled, plugging the same key into his cuffs, which clinked off and fell, almost landing on her knees. Ford muttered his thanks, then responded, "Zenith, if they saved every officer who ended up in a place like this they wouldn't be able to stop any insurgents. Remember the big picture here."
Kacy rolled her eyes and got back to her feet, extending a hand out to her partner, who grabbed it and stood up as well. The metal slab he had been sitting on and had been his 'bed' sliding into the wall without a sound. "As I recall, me remembering the big picture was what got us working together in the first place." She said and kept holding his hand, though she turned around and began to lead him out of the cell. "I know the way out. It's a standard prison ship."
Ford raised an eyebrow at her again. "How do you know the schematics of an SPS? It's not in the manual," he asked, following her down the hall, not really paying all the dead guards any notice.
Aliens that dotted the cells yelled after them as they speed-walked through the hallway, and Kacy didn't answer Ford at all. She kept her head facing forwards and led them through the winding ship. Even Ford was disoriented, although that might still be the numbing drugs they used to get him in in the first place.
"In here," Kacy said, finally releasing his wrist and waving towards a sliding silver door. "This is the room where they keep your guys' stuff. You haven't been here long enough for them to already have incinerated it." Ford nodded, and Kacy handed him one of her silver pistols. "You know what to do. Cover me while I get it."
Kacy pressed her black and gold-clad body against the wall, and nodded at Ford, she quickly pressed the two buttons on the top, one button on the second row, and another two on the third, which allowed the door to slide open.
There were about half a dozen more dog guards inside, most of which were organizing the collected items from the prisoners. Their human-like faces didn't even have a chance to show fear before the two actual humans took them out. Kacy blew imaginary smoke from the muzzle of her blaster and glanced over at Ford. "We're getting better at this whole 'prison rescue' thing."
Ford sighed and watched Kacy walk over to the lines of shelves that covered nearly the entire room. "Unfortunately." He muttered, and he positioned himself in front of the now-closed door, holding the blaster at eye-level towards it. Kacy shuffled through some binders, then found with locker she was looking for.
"618. Why am I not surprised?" she mumbled, stepping over one of the guard's bodies and finding the correct containment box. "It's always that number! What is it with you and that number?"
Ford shrugged, "Honestly, I don't know. It's been following me my entire life. I think it's some kind of warning, or mark, or something."
The next thing he knew, something small hit the back of his head, and he yelled, spinning around and almost dropping Kacy's pistol. He looked down at the ground and saw his badge, lying with the gold part on the ground. "Why did you do that?"
It was Kacy's turn to shrug. "Let's go Pines."
Once upon a time, almost five years ago, Ford had told Kacy his entire backstory. Bill Cipher and everything. It meant a lot more than just telling an old story, it meant that he trusted her. Trusted her enough to know that she wouldn't abandon him once she knew about his mistakes.
She had asked him, long, long ago, that if he ever saw his brother again that he would learn to settle their differences. That they would be brothers again. Because, as she herself had said, Ford still had what she had lost. And that if Ford threw his family away, she herself would take them as her own.
So when she got stranded in his dimension, and he stayed in the Multiverse, she did her plan B. She incorporated herself into the Pines family.
It was difficult at first. She and Stan couldn't really spend much time together, they both reminded each other of who they had lost. And she didn't really know how to interact with the kids. That was, until the day she found the Cycloptopus in the basement.
"Alright... Let's see..." She muttered to herself, slipping her electro-gloves on. They were one of the few things that she still had from the Multiverse, Ford had helped her make her own after she had admired his. She flipped the second Journal open and quickly scanned Ford's writing on them. "So you need a little light for me to take you out, Mr... Ahh!"
The Cycloptopus leaped towards her, and she was glad she was wearing her black leather jacket. It attached itself to her arm and she could feel it's suction cups try to rip her sleeve off. "Get off you creep!" She yelled at it, but it just squeed.
She dashed out of the control room, where she had been reading the first Journal, and she dashed up through the hallway. She quickly shoved the vending machine open and almost gasped when she saw all the Pines sitting in the gift shop.
"Get down!" She yelled, and the three of them did exactly the opposite of what she said. "Don't let it taste human flesh!" The three of them actually did gasp as the octopus-like creature jumped off her arm and started making it's way across the gift shop, luckily ending up in a corner. Kacy jumped over the register table and past Stan and the kids, keeping the Cycloptopus in its corner.
"Okay... steady..." She said, waiting for its circular mouth to show. And... One... two... three... "Now!"
She plunged her hands into its teeth, effectively electrocuting the tentacled creature. It let out a horrible scream, but Kacy didn't stop zapping it until it was practically a burned hunk of meat. It was still alive, but it should be tired for the next day or two.
"Miss Kacy, can I help?" Dipper rushed towards her, a hopeful look in his eyes. "I read all about those in the Journal and I was wondering if I could... I don't know, spend a little time with you?" He walked next to her, his eyes flicking between her gloved hands, one of which held the Cycloptopus, and her happy face. "Please?"
Kacy looked back at Stan and Mabel, who watched them with unreadable expressions. "Um... Well, I... Uh..." Good job Kacy, this was exactly the kind of words she wanted to say to Ford's nephew.
"How about later?" She asked, stepping into the hall behind the vending machine, turning around to look at Dipper's deflating expression. "I have a lot of research and stuff I need to do... Uh... And it's dangerous. It is a dark and weird road I travel, and I am afraid I must go alone..." Dipper stared in half shock at her, and she tried to flash him a smile. "But I'll join you for dinner! Just come down when it's ready!"
The vending machine closed in front of her, Dipper peaking behind it before it completely shut. Kacy breathed a sigh of relief and walked down the hall, placing her hand on the painted handprint Ford had left years ago. "I'm sorry Dipper. I just can't have Stanley finding out about..." she trailed off and whispered. "You'll understand someday."
Time to continue dismantling the portal.
Little did she know that only a few hours later, she'd be making friends with Ford's nephew.
"Pines? Do you ever think, that if we get back to your dimension, we'll miss this?"
They were finally in a quiet dimension, the stars above them were strange to them, but it was a lovely place, peaceful and serene. Almost completely the opposite of what they experienced normally. The black expanse of the sky seemed to stretch on for miles in every direction, only broken by pinpricks of light. Kacy and Ford sat on a high cliff, looking out over the orange trees underneath them.
"Miss what?" he asked, looking over at her, who was actually in her complete outfit. She was trying to follow regulation for a few weeks like she did every time she had to save Ford.
"Miss traveling. Miss having all these adventures. The Multiverse probably goes on forever, while your universe is finite. Eventually, we will have found everything." She sighed, and pulled her knees up to her chest, resting her head on them. "Do you think we'll even be able to have a home after this? Like, a home-home. Not just a building."
Ford shrugged, glancing back at the black sky. "It depends. We definitely can't be the same as the last time we were in our dimension..."
"Our dimension?" Kacy straightened, and Ford chuckled. "Of course our dimension. What? Are you too good for just a regular apostrophe-backslash?" He said, a grin on his face that (although Kacy didn't know it yet) made him look even more like his brother. "My dimension is your dimension. You may be bratty at times, but I wouldn't have you live out the rest of your days anywhere else. Unless, of course, we don't get a chance to see it."
Kacy smiled, then shoved Ford playfully. "Thanks Colonel."
Kacy felt like she was spinning. But that was okay, it was better than being numb.
She was in the middle of a forest, trees reaching towards the heavens above. There was a triangular superstructure that she could just make out behind the redwoods and pines, and a cliff off to her left, just visible through the dense woods. There was only one place this could be. Her mindscape.
"Well, well, well, well, well, well well. Look who finally decided to show up!"
Kacy spun around and floating in the 'air' in front of her, in a triangular clearing in the middle of the trees, was Bill Cipher.
"If it isn't Zenith! My old buddy! Old pal." Bill floated in front of her, trying to look 'sweet' and 'innocent', but Kacy didn't buy his front for a second. "Cipher." She hissed, and if looks and tones could kill, Bill would be dead, and revived, then killed again. "What do you want from me? Why are you here?" She drew her hands into fists at her side and glared at him. Bill rolled his eye.
"Aw, you're playing the dummy card. I should have known you wouldn't pay ol' Fordsy any attention." Bill folded his arms and 'shook' his head at her, "He'd be so disappointed. You actually seemed to be learning!" He snapped his fingers and suddenly Kacy saw a limp black figure floating in the air next to the triangular demon. "Hey Ford, wakey, wakey. We have a guest."
Ford's head tilted up slightly but dropped almost instantly. Bill chuckled, "Of course you're tired. Serves the two of you right." He snapped his fingers again, causing Ford to disappear. "Anyway, you know why I'm here. You think you can keep that rift safe? You have no idea what I have planned." Kacy growled at the place where Ford had been just a second before, "And that differs from before how exactly?"
Bill chuckled, and Kacy winced internally. "Oh, I've been making deals. Chatting with old friends. Preparing for the big day. You'll slip up kid, and when you do..." he snapped his fingers for a third and final time, and a copy of the rift appeared, floating above his black fingers. He grabbed it and threw it onto the forest floor, which immediately caught on fire, spreading to the trees and filling the air with smoke.
"Get out of here! You have no dominion in this world!" She yelled, waving her hand in front of her face, coughing from the ash in the air.
"Maybe not now, but if you ever want your precious partner back... Well, I'll be waiting. And things change... Things change..." A flash of terror, and Bill was gone, and Kacy was awake.
He was coming.
"Kids! Oh, I knew you could do it!"
Kacy had practically adopted Dipper and Mabel. She was sure that whatever happened to them, they'd be fine. She kneeled down, grateful for the excuse to bend her knees, even if it was briefly. She hugged the two of them for a second, then something clicked in her mind.
"Oh my goodness. There's someone here that the two of you have to meet." She said, straightening again. Her eyes met Stan's and she dashed past him, where there was a black figure lying against the back wall, blue chains vanishing as she kneeled down next to him.
"Hey, Pines. Pines! Stanford! Wake up, there are people here that you need to meet!" She shook the figure's shoulder, and he turned and looked over at her. He reached up and tore a black mask off of his face, a small smile on his lips. "Hey Zenith..." he said waving at her slightly. "Do I have to move?"
"Uh, yeah." She answered, slinging his left arm around her shoulders, dragging him up to his feet. He straightened and didn't lean on her as much as he originally had. She took a step towards everyone else, the biggest grin on her face. "Alright, so you know Ford-2," She said, waving her hand towards Stan. "And there is Ford-Junior, and Ford-Junior girl edition!" Her hand waved towards the kids, who had the most shocked face she'd ever seen on them.
"Ford-Junior?" He asked, dropping his arm off of her shoulders. "Is he like..."
"Your nephew? Yes. It's actually a bit scary how similar you two are." Kacy said, looking over at Ford and winking at Dipper. "Now, first things first. I think Stanley needs a hug, then if you'll do the honors of showing them the zodiac. I... Didn't exactly pay it much attention..."
There were a lot of hugs. And stammering (was Dipper related to Blendin?). But overall, Ford had a good reunion with his family. And there was no need to erase Stan's mind. Why would we do that?
Happy Signing of the Declaration Day! Yay! Hamilton!
I did this one... because I wanted to. That's a good reason. Ford isn't that hurt, Bill doesn't exactly have a reason to hurt him here, he probably spent August as a statue... So it should be super short for him.
Now Dipper gets to meet Ford a bit later than normal. DD&MD doesn't exactly happen, since Ford had the Infinity Sided Die... So... Wait. That means that here, Bill got the Infinity Sided Die. That's... That's just great..! Yay... But they're okay!
Over 10,000 views! Aahhh! Thanks so much! You guys are awesome!
Anyway, have a great day! I'm off to watch Hamilton! Yay!
-BrilliantLight