Chapter 38: Can't Help It: Part 1
Author's note: Oh my gosh, thank you all for being so patient. I'm sorry for torturing you for so long without an update. I got hit with some serious writer's block after taking a creative writing class. I am so happy to be getting back into the habit of writing, so hopefully I will be updating more frequently from now on. I am also in the process of writing a Dasey one-shot and I hope to get that out soon as well. I hope you enjoy! Please review as it helps me a lot with writing future chapters to hear what you liked, and where you expect things to go.
Songs featured in this chapter:
Faithfully - Journey
I Can't Help Myself (Sugar Pie Honey Bunch) - The Four Tops
Casey walked back to the table like a new woman. There was a certain pep in her step at the thought of teasing Derek. Enough defense…now was the time for offense. She slipped back into the booth, right next to Derek, thigh to thigh. A tightness formed in her throat just thinking about how close they were sitting now, but she brushed the nerves aside and stuck to her mission.
"What did I miss?" Casey asked the group. In one fluid motion, she wrapped her hand under Derek's arm, and curled it around his bicep. He tensed momentarily under her fingertips, and out of the corner of her eye, she could see him holding back his shock. Anyone else would be fooled by Derek's poker face, but Casey was gleefully aware of his breaking composure. She smiled casually at Kendra as if everything was completely normal. When Derek opened his mouth to speak, nothing came out and he seemed to choke a little, hiding it by clearing his throat. Casey had to bite back her grin. A surge of elation passed through her, like she had finally caught a life preserver in this chaotic sea of events. Ha! She thought triumphantly. Now who's flustered?!
Kendra laughed lightly, saving Derek, "You missed Schleper's extreme makeover. I hardly recognized him." Kendra looked over her shoulder at the small stage that had been set up with a keyboard, microphone, and stool. Sheldon Schleper adjusted the mic as he prepared to start his set. Wow, Casey thought. Kendra was right. Sheldon was a straight up hottie now, which was a thought Casey never imagined would cross her mind, ever. He had clearly been working out, he looked older, and he had nicely trimmed facial hair.
"Weird." Was all she could think to say. Honestly, it was hard to focus on anything other than the heaviness in the air between her and Derek. How much pressure was normal while holding on to somebody's arm? She was definitely overthinking it. Her fingers twitched nervously against his skin and her thoughts spun in a low hum focused on their contact. She could swear she felt Derek's thoughts doing the same thing.
"But that's not all you missed!" Kendra announced, as Casey tried to concentrate. Even Kendra's shrill sing-songy voice was being drowned out by the electricity in the air, "I was just telling Derek about my annual end-of-summer party. It's literally the party of the year, every single year. You would know that if you had ever been invited before, but unfortunately you didn't have the proper social currency. Fortunately, now that you're with Derek, you totally qualify! This year it's—"
Derek cut Kendra off, breaking the tension "And I was just telling Kendra how we can't go."
"What?" Casey asked, giving Derek a heavy dose of playful innocence as she looked up at him with her big round eyes, "Why not?" It's not like she actually cared about going to the party. She hated exclusion on principle and turned her nose up at anything involving 'social currency.' But Casey was obligated to take any opportunity to torture Derek. She even threw in a small pout to drive the point home.
"Uhh…" Derek said awkwardly, clearly disturbed by Casey's sudden shift in personality, "Like I told Kendra, Battle of the Bands is the day after the party. We'll need that time to rehearse. We could win ten-grand if we play our cards right."
Casey knew that Battle of the Bands was a big deal to Derek, but he was never one to pass down a party in favor of hard work. Perhaps he was becoming more mature…
"But you have to come!" Kendra whined, "The party is essentially in your honor! You inspired the theme! This year, my parents are letting me throw the party at our cabin. So that's two whole nights with no parental supervision. I have decided this year's theme is going to be Love on The Lake. All the biggest it-couples will get a room indoors. Everyone else will be sleeping in tents outside. You guys would be VIP's and would get your own private suite!"
The thought of sharing a private suite with Derek for two nights made Casey feel a little dizzy. She wondered if Derek's heart was beating as fast as hers at the idea; she couldn't tell with her own frantic rhythm roaring in her ears. Obviously nothing could happen in such a scenario, because they would be in private…there would be no need to put on an act. But still! It was just so intimate and loaded with possibility. What would they do about the whole one bed situation? How would they even have that conversation? But, it didn't matter anyway, they would be broken up by then, surely. Casey felt disappointed by that ending. She mentally kicked herself for feeling that way, she was just setting herself up for heartbreak if she expected anything other than a break-up. She might as well get used to the idea that it's inevitable; that they have an expiry date.
"How 'bout this…" Glenn said in a deep soothing voice, surprising Casey by the very fact he could speak. "Play your set at the party each night. We get live entertainment, and you get to practice in front of an audience and make some new fans in the process."
"And!" Kendra yelped excitedly, "We can promote the hell out of your gig at the party! I'm sure my guests would be psyched to come support you at your show!" She gave Glenn a playful smack on the arm, "Great idea, babe!"
"Wow!" Derek said, contemplating. "I'll uh…I'll have to talk to the guys…"
"You'd better!" Kendra insisted, "And be persuasive! I mean, come on Derek! Your own private suite! Aren't you two dying for some alone time away from the fam?"
Spotting another opportunity to torture Derek, Casey gave his arm a little tug, drawing his attention to her. She looked up at him through her eyelashes and said, "Some alone time does sound pretty nice, don't you think?" She bit her lip lightly and watched for his reaction.
Derek's jaw dropped slightly, but he quickly regained his composure "H—how could I say no to that?" He said with a dash of sarcasm only detectable by Casey, as he realized he was backed into a corner. Derek could never say no to alone time if they were actually dating. He would be rushed straight to the looney bin. He had to accept the invite, or risk blowing his cover. Casey cast him a subtle mischievous smirk, as if to say: I win. His eyes flashed and his smirk mirrored hers, as if to say: game on. Game on indeed. Casey's smile grew.
"Hello everyone!" Sheldon's voice interrupted through the sound system. Derek slowly peeled his eyes away from Casey to watch the stage. Casey let out the small breath she had been holding and turned her attention to Sheldon. "Thank you all for coming, it means a lot to me to have such great support. I see a lot of faces here tonight that I recognize, people I haven't seen in a long time. I've missed you guys, and I can't wait to catch up after the show. For those of you who don't know me, my name is Don Schleper. I've got some great love songs lined up for you all, because in my opinion…" Sheldon—or…Don, gave the crowd a smoldering, teen-heartthrob gaze, "Love is the most important thing." He took a sip of water and cleared his throat, repositioning the microphone and setting himself up at the keyboard. He began to slowly play the first bar of the song, "Listen with your whole heart, and continue your conversations quietly as you wine and dine. Really feel the connection in the room. Please enjoy…" It was overly sentimental, but somehow, he was selling it.
.
Highway run, into the midnight sun
Wheels go round and round, you're on my mind
.
His voice was soft but powerful, and Casey got goosebumps. Everyone in the room was completely fixated on the stage. Casey took comfort in getting a break from being the centre of attention. She was probably the only person not watching closely (she was still too distracted by Derek).
.
Restless hearts sleep alone tonight
Sending all my love along the wire
.
People in the crowd started to sway to the music, as Schleper's voice and the keyboard sang together with surprising depth and passion, reverberating off the cozy walls of Smelly Nelly's.
.
They say that the road aint no place to start a family
Right down the line it's been you and me
And lovin' a music man aint always what it's s'posed to be
.
The waitress sat down some nachos that had been ordered for the table in Casey's absence. Starving, Casey noticed a chip that was just blessed with a holy mountain of cheese and toppings. She reached out for it. Of course, Derek reached for the same chip at the same time, and they were left in an embarrassingly cheesy predicament as their fingers touched. It was so ridiculous that Casey actually rolled her eyes at him and the whole situation. She couldn't help but smile though.
.
Oh girl, you stand by me
I'm forever yours
.
Derek smirked back at her. She narrowed her eyes, neither of them resigning to be the first to let their fingers retreat and forfeit the chip.
.
Faithfully
.
Derek laughed heartily, stealing the chip and popping it into his mouth with a loud crunch. Casey gasped in mock horror.
She let go of his arm and gave him a small shove. "Der—" She nearly shouted, looking around with embarrassment at her outburst "…ek…" She finished in a whisper, not wanting to ruin the moment as the music swelled in the background. She leaned in to speak with him quietly, unable to contain her smile, "I clearly had dibs on that chip."
"You can't call dibs on the God Chip, Casey." Derek teased back.
.
Circus life under the big top world
We all need the clowns to make us smile.
.
"Maybe, you should have let your girlfriend have the so-called God Chip." She said proudly. "It is the gentlemanly thing to do, after all."
"Nah," Derek grinned back at her playfully, "Ours is a relationship built on equality."
She shook her head and laughed, amused by his antics.
.
Through space and time, always another show
Wondering where I am, lost without you
.
"Here." He said, grabbing a nacho off the plate. "Have this one. It has olives, your favorite." He brought up to shove it in her face.
She giggled, trying to keep quiet, turning her face away from the chip. "Ew! Derek, I hate olives!"
Derek shrugged. "More for me." He said casually, shoving the chip messily into his own mouth.
.
And being apart aint easy on this love affair
Two strangers learn to fall in love again
.
She laughed with ease, finding it hard to keep her volume at a minimum. "You're such a menace." She said affectionately.
"Maybe I just like nachos." Derek said, grabbing another one and eating it just as messily, clearly doing it on purpose.
.
I get the joy of rediscovering you
Oh girl, you stand by me
.
Not being able to help herself, Casey roughly smudged off some of the salsa that was staining Derek's cheek, by the corner of his mouth. He grinned, and she felt the movement of his carefree joy under her fingertips. He pulled away from her nagging fingers and she ended up accidentally brushing his lip.
"Or maybe you just like to make a mess." She accused him goodnaturedly as her head spun at how soft his lips were...even if they were covered in salsa. She couldn't tell if she was flirting with him on purpose or not. It's just a game, she assured herself. "I'd better get in there before you eat them all."
Remembering that it was indeed a game, Casey made a split second decision to suck the salsa from her thumb that had so recently graced his lips. Derek scoffed quietly in disbelief. Casually, Casey grabbed a nacho off the plate and discarded the olive stuck to it. She caught Kendra looking back at them, shaking her head and smirking at their banter before turning her face back to the stage.
.
I'm forever yours
Faithfully
.
Derek's arm settled around Casey's shoulders and she felt him sigh contentedly. It felt so natural that her chest twinged with affection and gut-wrenching longing. She wanted to torture Derek, but she was really just torturing herself. Pretending everything was real for one perfect instance, and shoving her pain deep, deep down, Casey settled into his embrace and let herself get lost in the music.
.
Whoa-oh-oh-oh
Whoa-oh-oh-oh-oh
Whoa-oh-oh-oh-oh-OHHHHHHH!
.
The crowd lifted their lighters and phones and swayed them overhead, with some people singing along. Casey let her head rest comfortably on Derek.
.
Faithfully!
I'm still yours
.
Casey closed her eyes. She could probably fall asleep nestled into Derek's side like this.
.
I'm forever yours
Ever yours
Faithfully
.
The song concluded and Schleper lingered on the last note. Everyone clapped enthusiastically. Casey could feel tears welling in her eyes, and it had little to do with the song, and much to do with her unresolved feelings for Derek, and wanting so badly, despite everything, for this thing between them to be real. It was heartbreaking that this perfect moment was all a lie. She lifted her head from Derek's shoulder, and she inched away from him slightly, needing some space to breathe.
"Thank you." Schleper said calmly, taking another sip of his water. "I've moved around a lot. So that song really spoke to me when I had to leave someone behind who I cared about. You can't always explain the connection between two people, but once it's there, it stays in your heart forever, even when you're forced to be apart…Now, enough lamenting! Let's pick things up a bit, shall we? There's an empty space in front of the stage for a reason, people."
A cheerful do-wop beat filled the room and the atmosphere switched instantly.
.
Ooo, Sugar pie, honey bunch
You know that I love you
I can't help myself
I love you and nobody else
.
Light conversations picked up around the room, and a couple people filtered to the dance floor.
.
In and out my life
You come and you go
Leaving just your picture behind
And I've kissed it a thousand times
.
Glenn held out his hand for Kendra who accepted it graciously and the two of them skipped off to dance together.
.
When you snap your finger or wink your eye
I come a-running to you
I'm tied to your apron strings
And there's nothing that I can do, ooh
.
Blushing furiously, Casey started sliding out of the booth. "Well, come on." She said as Derek rolled his eyes. "Come on!" She said, pulling him by the arm. "You're not going to make me dance by myself are you?"
.
I can't help myself
No, I can't help myself
.
Reluctantly, Derek followed her out of their seats. Casey's grasp slid down his arm to find his hand and she led him to the dance floor. The minute they reached the open space, Derek took control, pulling Casey closely to grab her by the waist, swinging her into the dance. She yelped slightly in surprise, and the smile on her face spread uncontrollably.
.
'Cause sugar pie, honey bunch
I'm weaker than a man should be
I can't help myself
I'm a fool in love, you see
.
It was incredibly surprising how amazing Derek was at leading the dance. They flowed together effortlessly, he even gave her a few twirls, always ending up coming back together, chest to chest. Her smile was mirrored genuinely on his face, and she couldn't remember the last time she had so much fun.
"Good date, Case?" He hummed in her ear before swinging her away from him.
They collided again, "Good date." She confirmed cheerfully, without the need to pretend otherwise "You?"
He laughed, "Good good."
.
Wanna tell you I don't love you
Tell you that we're through, and I try
But every time I see your face
I get all choked up inside
.
They continued to dance, and Casey was having the time of her life. She could tell that Derek was enjoying himself too, and it felt so right to spend time with him like this, instead of their constant bickering. She had always thought their fighting was natural, and that it would be weird to get along, but she realized now that it was the opposite. Dancing with Derek was like coming up for air.