Chapter 25- The Falsely True Trigger
So….here's the deal. I know I said I was going to write about 7x04, and I totally still plan on doing so, but this little one shot came into my mind the other the day and if I don't get it out I shall go crazy. This one was inspired by a small trip down memory lane to season 6, the episode where there's an explosion towards the beginning of the episode. Know which one I'm talking about? Can you see where I'm starting to go with this one? I'm taking the reigns back for this one because I really have to. This one is going to be a blast! See what I did there?! I'm terrible with jokes. Let's go!
Legally blind; those were the final two words spoken by Jay Halstead before it happened. They'd been working on this case that was almost guaranteed to stir old things up. There was no other option, the essence of the whole thing encompassed his time over there. He rarely spoke about, most definitely didn't throw out stories of the good old days. His lack of talking or stern looks whenever someone brought it up was proof enough that those wounds may have been old, but were still rather raw and at the forefront of his everyday life. So Hailey made a point of sticking close to him, both to let him know she was there for him, but also in case he went off the deep end; fell into some episode that he couldn't get himself out of. So far things were going mostly fine. He'd have the occasional blip of a comment or a snicker and scoff here and there, but up to this point things hadn't boiled over, gone off like a timed explosion. Oh the irony and hatred for thinking up that simile that would very quickly follow. It was, in fact the very first thing that raced across her mind when she rose from the aftermath; the second thought pertaining to him and his whereabouts.
"Jay," Hailey coughed, quite literally rising from the ashes. There was a brief moment of shock and awe. Between the point of the blast and the aftermath of its' power and fury, there is a three second moment where the world, and its' occupants, figuratively and literally exclaim 'wtf.' The sirens aren't going off and the people hadn't screamed their pain and fear yet, nor was there any realization as to what just happened. Everything was stopped and paused before being put on fast forward. What would happen over the next few hours, days, and weeks would seriously fly by in a blur for all.
"Jay," she called out again. Her second cry was when the honking car horns registered in her ears and she figured out the people they were once talking to weren't there anymore. As Hailey sat up and looked left, right, behind and in front, rubble was everywhere. The massive VA hospital that once stood over them was on about half its' size, the right side looking like Lincoln Logs having been toppled over by a giant toddler. White sheets were scattered in different parts along the walkway, parking lot, and grassy yard, at least that's what Hailey recalled them all being. Nothing was what it once was before, further driving home that whatever struck was massive, huge, all encompassing, and deadly. That word was what finally had her panicking, counting white sheets before figuring out what under them.
"Where's Jay," spoke to no one. Her hands were scrambling, feeling all around and struggling to find life.
"Hailey, he's over here," a voice called. It was a source of calm, control, clearly not going through what she was. The voice had a face and the more Hailey blinked and breathed, the more she realized it was Trudy.
"Platt? What are you doing here?" The person in question hugged Hailey tighter, obvious relief that at least one of her people was okay.
"Are you hurt?" Trudy scanned, finding cuts and bruising before the wince against the touch of the arm.
"You need to be checked out." "Where's Jay," Hailey demanded now, tears streaming down her dirty face. Trudy gave her a brave face, nudging her right shoulder as an indicator. Hailey looked beyond the sergeant to feet, the rest of the body obscured by people. Hailey noted the droplets of dark red going away from the feet. She followed the droplet to a trail that grew deeper, darker, more dangerous the closer it got to the body. Hailey shoved her way past Trudy, stumbling to a crawl as she yelled for Jay. It was here she got her first glimpse of him, one that part of her wish she didn't because the violence of him had her gagging on fear and disgust before passing out right next to him.
"Get her in an ambo for Med, now!" People didn't flinch, moving Hailey to a gurney and running her to a waiting rig. Trudy watched till she disappeared from the sight before turning back to her dwindling detective. Jay looked to be very much gone. There wasn't a spot on him that wasn't hit by debris or shrapnel, the G-forces of the bomb certainly having done more damage to his insides. Where people weren't pressing on major arteries and bleeders large gauze pads were running red, desperately needing to be changed out. Jay's eyes were shut, but life appeared to be very away out of him, closer to a six foot hole then waking up. Trudy shuddered at the thought of it, grabbing for a phone out of reaction more then anything. Something told her Will needed to be called, given the chance to say goodbye while wishfully thinking Jay could hear. She pressed the phone to her ears, almost hoping Will didn't answer.
"Trudy," an inquisitive voice spoke on the other end. She closed her eyes, breathed, and prayed for the words that weren't coming.
"Will," she began, albeit her voice shaking and flat out scared.
"There was a bomb threat at the VA hospital which turned out to be right. Jay was here." That was all she could get out, crumbling to her knees as she watched was happening to Jay. It wasn't good, something that was only done for last ditch efforts.
"Will, they're putting something in his throat," she spoke through choking tears, there was hissing and panic on the other end.
"It's to help him breathe." Trudy nodded, eyes not leaving Jay. It was a sight she didn't want to see, but felt grateful assuming what was to come next. She couldn't leave him now.
"Let's go!" The lead medic and everyone around him lifted the lifeless body onto a gurney and ran, destination a waiting medichopper which Trudy wasn't fully aware was awaiting a passenger. Strength was found and in an instant she was running behind them, catching a gentle brush with Jay's head before he was yanked out of reach, quickly loaded into the chopper as the propellers whirled into life.
"Where are you taking him," Trudy yelled against the noise?!
"Med!" She stepped away as things became too chaotic, eyes squinting as she watched Jay and his first round of a medical team fly out of sight.
"Trudy! Where are they taking him?" Life calmed down a hair, which is odd since she was standing in what appeared to be a war zone. The phone stat was still glued to her ear screamed her name again, a quick jolt bringing her back to the real world. Jay was out of her control right now, it was time to trust the people that could save him to do their job.
"He's on a chopper on his way to you, Will. Don't leave him. It's not good." She hung up before he could reply, the phone crashing to the ground as she cradled her head in her hands. Those not on their way to Med were awaiting one of their final car rides, a drive to a place of answers. Those hidden from the world now were her people, her thing that she swore to keep alive and well each and every day. Oh how heavy was the badge and title that she put on each day, today it feeling like a ball and chain. She failed, she let them all down, she was the one people were going to turn to for answers, blame, a scapegoat. She sobbed for those she lost, crying for the ones that at this very moment in time were still breathing on planet Earth.
"Sergeant," a young officer nervously called while brushing her shoulder. Trudy ceased her tears, wiping her face off and tugging at her shirt and vest while nodding that she was fine.
"Yes officer," she answered as she reached down for her phone.
"So far we have ten deceased, fifteen injured, and the building is unsafe to head into right now. Engineers are en route to help sort out routes for rescues. Forty percent of the building is gone with another twenty-five in flames. Where do we start?" Trudy scanned, closed her eyes another second, promising she wouldn't rest till she did her best to make things right.
"We start by getting some fucking answers. We lost today and I want to know where we failed. This son of a bitch isn't getting away with taking us down. We will rise up from this. Let's get to work."
…
They were eight and five and a half, the two of them playing in the backyard on their swings that had been freshly constructed by their father. Will wanted to break it in, test out the function and fun level of the swings and monkey bar and slide. He was the first to go on, gently going back and forth with the widest, brightest smile ever. In his small five year old mind he was genuinely flying, visions of waving to planes and getting a response. To this day, crystal clear image, he can see Jay streaking out the back door, soccer gear still on from a practice, screaming that it was finally up. He'd only begged days for it to be put together, including a full family dinner where he read the instruction manual and mapped out who would do what task. So for him to see the whole thing up and not having to lift a finger, one can imagine the leaping and roughness he exuded out of pure excitement. But even as a child, Jay took things a little too far, pushed the limit to the point of no return. He made it down the slide and a couple minutes of swinging before grabbing the monkey bar and slipping off, butt of his hand carrying most of his weight.
Will wished today was going to be as bad as that day, prayed to go back to that day as kids. He closed his eyes and smirked at the memory of him screaming and pointing before dashing into the house. He could hear Jay calling for him to come back, that things weren't that bad as his hand hung limp at the bottom of a broken wrist and dislocated elbow. He wished so badly for this to be another squirming session from Jay as a wrist was set and mild sedative went in to realign the elbow. Will hated that time had this way of repeating itself, and often times far worse then the previous round of circumstances. Something told Will that this wasn't going to be a quick fix, overnight stay with Jay. He only knew there was an explosion and that Jay needed breathing assistance, which was scary enough, but deep down Will just knew this was going to be a bad one, a day that was going to become a day remembered. At this point he didn't know if it would be a memorial type day or birthday celebration, but some voice of wisdom and foreseeing told him to brace, anticipate the never ending tumble that was before him.
So it was easy to see why Will was the only one with his back to the city, one could understand why he chose the water as his final resting place. When the medical team first made it to the roof it was Natalie who pointed out the smoke trail to the far west side of things, near where they knew the VA was. That moment was the first brick to the gut. It was one thing to hear about some tragic event in the cocoon of the hospital, but to see the evidence of said tragedy was a whole other sight to digest. Will was used to seeing the aftermath, not the causality of things. The water was calling and he greatly and quickly answered, swiveling as hushed voices realized he was with them.
"I'm sorry," Natalie quietly spoke as she brushed his shoulder. Will nodded, not dreaming of turning back around. It was a sunny but extra windy day, the first hints of cold weather just coming in from the north. The wind whipped their gowns and hair about, but Will remained untouched as he was facing the wind. He needed that freshness, had to smell the city and water and outdoor life, because Lord only knew what state he'd be in the next time he came out for air. What felt to be an eternity later the low and consistent thump of helicopter blades and engine crept into earshot. The wind that was once behind Will now blew everything his way.
"Are you sure you're up for this," Marcel yelled over the roar of the chopper? Will simply nodded. He counted himself down to reality. 5…4…3…2…1…go. Ah, there was the puke that wanted to greet everyone. Trudy failed to specify where in his throat they were sticking things in. Because the first thing that greeted Will was the tube sticking out of the middle his brother's throat. They had to give him a trache. So that's how bad things were. If only it were just that.
"What've we got," Marcel asked the medic, taking the lead on everything.
"So far the only surviving bomb victim that was within ten feet of the blast. Possible brain bleed, definite concussion, a ton of contusions, collapsed airway and probable carotid damage; a ton of swelling on his neck." Marcel winced and nodded against the sun, feeling around the precious spots on the neck to confirm the report.
"GCS?"
"Seven." Again, another nod as clipboard and IV bags were thrown out of the chopper.
"Gotta head back, more people. Good luck!" They didn't bother speaking back, all those available now trying to keep Jay alive from the helipad to the OR, almost playing a game of hot potato with his life. As long as he was alive while in their hands, they wouldn't fall under the wrath of everyone if/when things went south.
"Looks like we've also got a broken femur, definite lung issues and I'm sure internal bleeding," Marcel rattled off as the circus made it to the elevator. No one noticed that Will was walking behind them all with his jaw on the ground and skin eerily yellow white. But then again they had a rather scary distraction in front of them.
"Jeez he's a mess. I get that they had to do the tracheostomy on the fly but this is a hack job. We're going to have to fix it before we put him fully under. Tell ortho, neuro, cardio we're going to need them by the time we get down there. I don't care what they have planned, this is top priority." A nurse nodded as she dialed the phone, thumbs flying up as the doors closed between them. Now inches away from Jay, Will could not believe this was his brother. There was blood…everywhere. So many cuts and swelling and bleeding from big, out of place holes. He was scared shitless. With the chance of throwing up on his brother, Will flew past the messed up tube coming out of the throat, focusing on the lips and face. He kept telling himself it was Jay, but the eyes were denying it all. His lips were beginning to turn blue, his face unrecognizable from the damage from shrapnel and making contact with the ground. A massive scrape was on the left side of his face, small chunks of hair missing from things hitting or just force of whatever hit him. Will wanted to cry, but for some stupid reason he thought Jay could hear, not wanting his final sounds before going under being Will crying. Will breathed, loudly, inhaling fear and exhaling his best imitation of bravery. Will was about to go looking for a hand when the body on the gurney began shivering violently.
"Dammit he's seizing! Get whatever is left in that bag and find an IV." The bag in question was the medical bag from the medics. Will found a place in the elevator and got small, praying out loud for Jay to stop shaking.
"Jay! Please cooperate!" Everyone in that cramped space heard Will but chose to ignore it. They had other things to deal with. The elevator chimed open to the OR floor as Jay expelled blood through the breathing tube, which set off more alarms and raised voices.
"Get him out into the foyer!" Everyone moved the five feet needed before stopping, resuming their life saving duties. Will remained in the elevator, eyes glued shut as he kept praying, begging out loud. Which was a pity considering how long it would be till he could potentially see Jay again.
When he finally came to he realized the elevator had been open for quite some time. There was stillness to whatever floor he was on. There was death, dying, calamity happening all over the place of this hospital, yet here things were calm and under control. People weren't running around and bodies weren't lying lifeless here. Will stood from his balled up position on the floor, whole body going dizzy as his vision blackened for a moment. He felt a wall and rested against it, bracing till he found strength and levelheadedness once again. Once fully back, Will quickly figured out he was on the executive level, where important people held big jobs that didn't have an MD after it but controlled his every move. He didn't know where else to go but further in. He knew the names on the plaques on the doors, didn't bother to stop and see if they were in. His nose just about ran into the door of Sharon Goodwin's office, opening it without knocking. Today wasn't a day for niceties and pleasantries. His brother was probably dead right now, literally nothing bothered him.
"Yes Rick we are here on the location of that unexpected and horrific bombing at the VA hospital. Officials say the blast happened around 3:35pm, which isn't exactly a super busy time of day here fortunately. As you can make out most of the damage is on the eastern wing of the facility which is where a lot of administrative and ORs are so for those that survived the attack…it leaves them without an ER or OR to immediately get treatment at. Those who did survive are being sent to either County or Gaffney-Medical depending on the severity of cases."
"Any word on how many injured and casualties?"
"Unofficially we can confirm at least fifteen dead and twenty-five injured. But that number is expected to go up as rescue teams go through the rubble." Was that a hint of a smile on the cheery reporters face?
"Why is she smiling about that?! People are dying!" Sharon just about fell out of her chair from Will's greeting. Mouth was gaping open and trying to stutter a retort as she fiddled for the power button, Sharon eventually standing to face him. She saw the red, puffy eyes from the exerted emotions, she felt the tension and sorrow that was painted all over his person. He looked to be seconds away from falling over, his eyes going down to his knees that were quivering.
"Will, I'm so sorry." Will always wondered how she knew all that she knew. How did she know Jay was here, hopefully getting underway with life saving surgery, without having left her office? Will always wanted to ask, but this moment wasn't the time. Instead he collapsed onto her shoulders as she held him, stroking his back and speaking calming words while he shook and sobbed for the impending future he didn't see anyway out of.
…
"How's he doing?" It was Maggie, sticking her head in the door. Will had moved from shell shocked emotions to catatonic state: staring off into nothing and occasionally speaking random things. It was a very natural progression of things, but heartbreaking to witness.
"In disbelief, understandably. Thank you for this, how's you-know-who?" Maggie shrugged.
"Still in surgery last I heard. I know they called in a lot of people so…we'll see. I'm going to head down there now and try to get an update. Also, Hailey just got discharged and is looking for him." Sharon nodded before the two women turned Will's way. He was sprawled out on Sharon's couch, clutching a pillow while resting on his side staring. It was very apparent the weight of life was on him, both women wishing there was a way to make that burden obsolete.
"Send her up here in a few minutes and let me know if you hear anything." Maggie nodded again, jogging down the hall with her marching orders. Sharon quietly closed the office door, padding her way to the chair closest to the couch. She placed the cup of energy on the table in front of the couch, taking a seat as she instructed Will to sip.
"Drink it. A sip at a time. You need the pick me up." She was silent as she witnessed Will move at a snail's pace, eventually sitting semi-upright and leaning over to collect the cup. It was searing hot coffee with copious amounts of espresso shots. Will was distant to rattling off questions in four gulps.
"Was that Maggie? Does she have an update? Any word from Voight or Trudy about what happened?"
"That was Maggie and no, she hadn't heard anything other then he was still in surgery. She is going to ask for an update as we speak. Also, Hailey was just discharged and is looking for you. She's on her way up here."
"Voight?" Sharon shook her head.
"Nothing yet, but they have a lot to deal with. I'm sure we'll hear something soon." Will returned the cup to the table, relaxing against the cushion and pillows of the couch. He silently realized this couch only housed bad things. It had heard a lot, held people up as they sobbed or yelled. It was in this room that people were fired, family members learned the fate of a relative, this place was sometimes a war room, press box, basically every bad and daring and uncertain event went down in this place. No wonder the room was always a tinge of darkness and silence, it was out of respect for all it had seen. Today was a doozy, but just another check on life events it was witness to.
"Will," Sharon cut into the dark mind of Will Halstead. He jolted, blinked away the thoughts to find a tear brimmed face of Hailey looking back at him.
"Hey," he shakily greeted. Hailey nodded before choking on her fresh round of tears, extending a hug and Will accepted. It was amazing how quickly the roles of the place changed. Will went from being cared for to caring for Hailey. Sharon transitioned to a silent observer, wiping away tears of her own over the heart wrenching scene. She'd seen it a hundred times before, two people begging, pleading for life to not go through with something that was inevitable, each case Sharon hoping they'd get their fairytale ending. It never got easier, if anything that much harder. Her phone buzzing on the coffee table was what finally brought things to a brief hold.
"It's Maggie," she announced, bringing the phone to her ear as she answered.
"What do you have?"
"I need you to put Will on speaker." Sharon's face went grim, doing as she was told and placing the phone on the table.
"Yeah," Will proclaimed, genuinely afraid for what was coming next.
"Will, I need to know how far you want me to go." It was Marcel, far away from the phone so he had to yell, but the chaos could be heard all around. Alarms were going off, people were asking for instruments and medication, the picture was painted in Will's mind, a bad image was all he got.
"What are we looking at?"
"Will, I don't have the luxury of time so just answer the question. How far do you want me to go." They were here, at this stage of things. It was a quality of life issue, Jay's entire future being plopped into Will's lap. He had to weigh a drastically different way of life with no life at all, and decide for Jay how much he wanted that. It was something Will never saw coming when he woke up this morning, but a fairly obvious choice in his mind.
"Whatever it takes to get him to tomorrow."
"Alright, I'm not making any promises. Sit tight because this probably going to be awhile." The phone cut off right after that, leaving Will and Hailey and Sharon to only begin feeling the consequences of Will's action.
"He's never going to be the same again," Hailey spoke. In that instant the members had nothing else to go except believe her.
…
Six Hours Later
Sharon Goodwin's office had become Grand Central Station. All news and gatherings happened in her spacious office space. It wasn't in Will to move and Hailey had mercifully passed out from the day's events, her exhaustion finally overpowering the adrenaline. In those early hours they all just talked, brought up Jay stories or happenings of their days prior to the trigger point, that's what they were calling it by the way. When Hailey zoned out, fell onto a pillow and snored herself to sleep, Sharon and Will moved to the outside hallway, digging deep into big life things. With Jay incapacitated, arrangements had to be made on his behalf. Will had become full medical proxy for him, in charge of calling the shots from that point on and having the control and say of when things had gone far enough. Furthermore, they laid out different scenarios for what could happen to Jay post-op, if he made it that far. Everything from a full recovery to vegetative state, Sharon made a point of being quiet, simply following Will's lead and answering every question he had with clarity and directness. Someone had to be that guiding light right at this point and Sharon was more then willing to take on that fairy godmother role.
"Shit, it's been over seven hours." Will rubbed his eyes after glancing at his phone, now understanding why his stomach was growling and whole body was one giant ache. By the time Jay got into the OR it was close to 5pm, Will's phone showing the day to be fifteen minutes away from being graciously over.
"Do you want me to call something in? I know I'm starving so you have to be."
"Is anything even open?"
"I'll text Maggie and see what ideas she has."
"There you guys are." Will and Sharon jumped at the unexpected voice to their left. Hailey was balancing herself against the doorway, cast arm clutched close to her stomach.
"How's the wrist doing?"
"Sore. I guess even though it's in a cast you can't sleep on it…which I think I did."
"I'll also have Maggie bring up some pain pills for you. Do you also want food." Hailey nodded through a yawn, shuffling to the end of row of waiting people, sliding down the wall and into a crisscrossed position with her legs.
"Any update on Jay?" The others slowly shook their head.
"I guess no news is good news, right? Means he's still alive and fighting." Will shrugged his shoulders as Sharon gave her a reassuring face. No one was liking this, all refusing to admit how much they hated this waiting game. But it was better to be hating waiting then any other option.
"Oh, here's something. Trudy and Hank are on their way up to update us."
"Finally, some answers."
"I don't think I have it in me to get up right now."
"Neither do I," Sharon teased.
"We'll stay here till you guys are ready…or it's time." And so they remained there till the spoken of officers rounded the corner, perplexed and amazed at the laughing coming from down the hall. If anything, given what they knew of the day, they were prepared to be yelled at or hated for the rest of time. So to be greeted by Will with open arms and offers to sit amongst them was a welcomed surprise.
"Welcome to the party." Voight motioned for Trudy to sit on the ground across from Sharon, Will and Hailey and she slowly did so, her moves evident of a long, harrowing day. Her legs buckled under her as she slowly blinked and huffed upon hitting the hard floor. Her head made a soft bump noise as it hit the wall, but she didn't seem to notice. Her eyes were bloodshot, face looked to have aged another decade; let's not forget the soot and stench of ashes and bomb fragments on her. Voight looked to have also gone through the wringer, the two of them two exhausted peas in a pod. Those who were already on the floor gave the newest members a moment of silence, each finding ways to look away from the ones that held all secrets of the day. Nothing was wanted more then an explanation for why Jay was fighting for his life on an OR table right now, but the last thing they wanted to do was agitate the ones' who held all the power. So life was thick suspense, each side understanding what the other needed.
"So that…was…a day," Trudy softly spoke, holding the phone as the clock switched from Wednesday night to Thursday morning.
"Thank you to everyone for making it to the next day with us," Sharon replied, everyone silently praying that the one that wasn't here still was.
"What did you guys find out," Hailey asked? She couldn't wait a second longer. After all, she too was a victim in all of this.
"The threat to the VA was a false truth. Yes, there was a bomb placed there but it wasn't the mosque or group that we all were lead to believe it was. Scary enough, it was a retired solider with unresolved PTSD issues. We're still connecting the dots on why or what caused him to do all of this, but it was definitely him."
"He's in custody and currently being questioned by the rest of the team as we speak."
"Wow," Will blurted out, shaking his head while stretching his arms. A member of the military who swore to defend and protect his own turned on them, talk about a messed up situation.
"Yeah, it's complicated and unthinkable." "How are you, Hailey?" She was a bit surprised to hear her name, not even thinking she'd be mentioned before you-know-who. Her mouth hung open a second before she gathered herself, stumbling on words as she began.
"Me?! I..uuhhh, fine. Okay I guess. Just a hairline fracture on my wrist. Cast stays on for a couple weeks and I should be fine. Couple bruised ribs and few stitches, but alright considering…" They all knew who she meant.
"Do we have an update?"
"No, just that he's still in surgery. Maggie has been updating us but so far she said she hasn't gotten anything. And speaking of.." They all turned to see a tray of cafeteria food. To most that wasn't appealing, but to those on the floor it might as well been the Purple Pig.
"I'm sorry, if I knew you guys were here too I would've brought something."
"It's fine," Voight said.
"We're just happy to be sitting at this point."
"Oh, Marcel is on his way up to talk to you guys." You could feel the whole floor gasp in hesitation and dread. The time was here, fate was just about upon them.
"Thanks Maggie," Sharon whispered, all of them looking to Will who was quickly losing color for the zillionth time.
"Eat. Jay needs you nourished and levelheaded." Resisting the urge to throw up, Will nibbled on the tuna sandwich. He was not ready for the next step, unprepared to learn how messed up Jay's life now was. While he really wanted to see Jay again, he didn't want all that came with it. It was a tense midnight snacking to say the least.
…
Marcel's entrance was that of finished. He greeted everyone with a half wave, wary of the iPad in his hand as he collapsed onto the ground, rolling onto his back and groaning as he breathed deep. This was something he'd never do in front of your typical waiting family, but given that everyone here he worked with on an almost daily basis, and they all knew what he was doing for however many hours, they didn't scoff or freak out by the response. If anything it stirred up some amount of hope, because this was never how one would deliver the death speech.
"I need everyone to remember that he is still alive. Despite every deadly obstacle that came at him, at this very moment in time while on his way to the ICU he is alive. Please just listen to everything and keep that in mind: all that we had to do was to get him to this point." Will just swallowed, now feeling immense guilt for something unknown. He gave them permission to do whatever, but how far that command traveled was just beginning to make itself known.
"Let's start at the top and work our way down. Jay had a blown pupil when he first entered the OR, and that was after a pretty serious seizure. Abrams diagnosed him with a high grade concussion and medium grade brain bleed that at this point does not need surgery, but that could very easily change over the next twenty-four hours. We're moving to the neck where supposed carotid damage turned out to be that. Shrapnel did nick the artery but didn't sever it. Had it happened he would've bled out before even making it to the chopper. However, we were able to repair the damage but he's very swollen and sluggish in that area. We're going to scan him in a few hours to see if there's still blockage or more damage that we didn't initially see. That was a messy part of this whole operation so it's possible we missed something. But again, we won't know for a few more hours."
"What happens if there is more damage," Hailey butt in, a sheepish look of apology all over her. She had to know and couldn't let it get bypassed.
"Then we'd have to go back in and make the necessary repairs. I'd hate to put him under so soon after this very intense operation, but we'll see how it all goes. Anymore questions?" The stone cold faces in front of him told it him was time to continue.
"Okay, here comes the extra tricky part. We had to extubate and then perform a proper tracheostomy so he has a healing entry point and then one where he's actually breathing. Because of that he's going to be very swollen, therefore rather dependent on the ventilator for awhile."
"Best guess on how long," Will cut in? Marcel shoved the pissed off remark further down. They all were in the dark on this so he had to know questions were coming.
"Ideally, a month but I have to tell everyone I'm not looking past today. We have to get him past twenty-four hours before I can talk about any other next step." They all nodded, stunned silence resuming to fill the space. Marcel went on because as bad as this all was, the best was yet to come.
"And then the chest. We…damn it…I'm just going to say it, we had to remove his right lung. He had two ribs that shattered back into the organ, making it beyond repair. Thank you G-forces. We really did try to save it but there was just too much damage and so in order to keep him alive we had to let it go." Will forewent looking at Marcel, instead plastering hands to his face and bring himself into a ball on the floor. Sharon gently hugged him as she felt the emotions trickling out of him again. She knew he was feeling guilty, even though it wasn't his fault Jay found himself down a vital organ.
"Typically you can live with one lung but since the left lung is also not doing so well, and now having to work for the entire body, he's looking at a double lung transplant pretty soon. Again, we can start talking about next steps once we get past that twenty-four hour mark. Then the liver suffered a great amount of internal bleeding and we had to remove half of that but it will regenerate on its' own, he has three broken vertebrae that still need repairing and a shattered femur that has to be realigned and set. We could've fixed that but I wasn't a fan of how long he'd been under. His body really needs a break right now. To put things very bluntly, he was just blown up by a bomb today and so far is living to tell the tale. I'm sure you have questions so please, fire away."
"So is he currently paralyzed from the broken vertebrae?" "No, he does have reflex in his feet, legs, and arms. In fact, that was the very last thing I checked before coming up here. He didn't respond to the needle stick test but did move toes and fingers when we did the heal cut test, so it's not great but good proof that he has some level of sensation and movement. As the swelling and trauma starts to heal I'm hopeful it'll get better. Plus, once he gets those broken vertebrae fixed things should improve."
"So he really needs a lung transplant?"
"If he wants to get off oxygen and doing any form of work then yes. Again, once we get past twenty-four hours we can discuss more."
"I need to go see him." The press conference Q&A stopped when Will finally spoke up. Tears were dripping down his face and his hands and legs were shaking, making this the most scared, emotional Will Halstead moment ever. He couldn't hear about his dying brother's state a moment longer, he needed to just see him. Whatever form of human being he was right now, and however bad off he appeared, Will needed that visual confirmation that all this was actually true.
"Alright, let's go. But for now it'll just be Will and I." They all wanted to protest but got why Marcel threw this out there. Jay needed his rest and Will needed his closure. As much as they wanted to physically be there and help, for the immediate future they had to cheer and encourage from a distance.
"Let's get this twenty-four hours going." The two doctors locked eyes, seeming to be in a staring contest. It was Marcel who rose first, Sharon and Voight helping Will rise up and follow behind. Ready or not, truth or disbelief, it was time for that impending reality check.
…
There was nothing that could prepare him for this, that was all that ran through his head. On the way up to the floor and room, he told himself that he would be fine. He was a doctor after all and so he'd seen a person essentially on life support hundreds of times, even put a few people on it himself. But the closer he got, the less confident and assured he was of this totally normal bravery. What was being swapped out for that sensation was terror. Because what he didn't take into account was the human factor. As a doctor he'd been trained to ignore that little part of things, it was the only way to be a quality doctor without going insane. But tonight he wasn't a doctor and he was not on his way to check-in on a patient. No, this night, or early morning at this point, he was a family member coming to reunite with a brother after a particularly terrible day for both. By the time they reached the ICU floor you could slice the tension and nerves with a knife it was so thick. He'd never admit to it, but this was the most terrifying walk he'd ever taken up to that point.
"Please remember he's still there under everything and he's still fighting. He's not sedated, just unconscious so we don't know how much he can hear, if at all. Just remember that," Marcel warned about ten feet away from the sliding glass door. Will swallowed deep, nodding that he understood without fully getting the depth behind it. But now, standing in the doorway with the blankest, numb stare in the world, Will felt like nothing short of a fool. There wasn't a word or phrase to readying himself for what was looking back at him. Sure, you can see it in TV shows and movies and read about it in textbooks and Google images, but there is nothing that can ease the shock and disbelief and realization that a family member is lying in that bed. A family member that might as well been a real life superhero, and one you talked to that morning over coffee, was now very lifeless with every possible machine and monitor on, around, and in them. There was very little space for anything in that room really. Jay was stationed in the middle, hundreds of feet of tubes and wiring coming out of him, all snaking to different corners of the bed. Some were venturing to the end and draping over a side while most were coming in from the top of the bed, the distribution about 50/50 between left and right. Honestly, Will didn't see skin there was so much on Jay. The clothes and that clung to him on the way in had been removed for a hospital gown, which even that was fairly obscured from blankets and every other medical device on him. So much of him was wrapped in dressings or monitoring cuffs, literally from head to toe he was being watched and scanned with data going up on a monitor. Will was petrified to move into the room, afraid he'd set something off. So instead he looked up at the monitors, a beeping, whooshing, and blinking symphony of a person just trying to hang on for dear life. Nothing being displayed looked good or even promising, but the fact that were still singing and moving was enough for tonight.
Will's tired mind finally registered what Marcel had said some minutes ago, that there was the slight possibility that Jay was alert enough to hear. Looking at him you'd never imagine that to be true, but stranger things have happened. On the very off chance that was correct, the last thing Will wanted to do was stress him. He had to feel his staring eyes, sense the desperate thoughts yet get zero verbal connection. That was what finally got him on the move, shuffle a foot in the room an inch at a time. It was all so hard, but it dawned on Will how easy his role was in all of this. He was not the one that got hit by a bomb today. He was not the one that was breathing through a tube in his neck. He was not the one that just lost a lung and half a liver and a few ribs and whatever awful thing Marcel had to operate on. He was not the one looking like a first year med school cadaver after an entire class learned IV insertions and monitoring device positions. No, he was sideline cheerleader who merely had to sit and watch. His role was so minuscule compared to Jay's, he had no room to complain.
"You're right, he is a mess." Marcel looked away from the iPad to sigh and shrug his shoulders.
"It's definitely not pretty, that's for sure." Will plunked down in the recliner after moving it close to the bed. Wary of all the IVs and clips on fingers, Will clasped his hand in Jay's right and squeezed as he spoke.
"I'm right here Jay. Just rest and let things work."
"Hey, come down here for a second," Marcel spoke a few minutes later. Will inched himself off the chair to rest on the right end of the bed. The surgeon was pulling away the blankets from Jay's feet, revealing circulating boots. Once those were slipped off Will silently celebrated; a part of Jay that looked normal! Alas, the celebration short lived once Will saw on the left heel where they cut it to get a reflex response.
"Start with the hand," Marcel announced while poking ticklish points on the foot. The lack of response had Will sharply inhaling, but Marcel shook his head.
"And now the needle poke," as a syringe was pulled out of a pocket, safety removed as it was brushed over the right foot. That time all toes curled in and out and Marcel applied and removed the needle. Will's face lit up, it was the best news of the day. Marcel repeated the process on the left, getting smaller movements, but movement nonetheless.
"That's an improvement in such a short amount of time," Will spoke as the circulating boots were put back on and blankets tucked under the bed.
"Yeah, that's a very good sign. Looks like the cord was spared damage. Once we get past this twenty-four hour mark we can start talking to ortho and neuro about repairing the vertebrae. Why doesn't he have the blood oxygen monitor in yet?" Marcel excused himself, sticking his head out the door and repeating the question. Will sat back in his chair/bed, resuming his holding of the hand as he spoke.
"Good job, Jay. I know you want to stop but you've gotta fight for at least a few more hours. It'll get better, I promise." He was just about to pull the draped hospital gown up a little more when Marcel interrupted with the painful news.
"He needs to get the blood oxygen monitor in." Will groaned, sitting further up as a nurse came in with the necessary instruments.
"Which wrist?"
"Left. He's got a lot going on on the right so let's balance it out."
"Sorry Jay," Will whispered as an alcohol prep pad was wiped over the site. The extra thick needle was removed from it's plastic sheath before the monitoring line was snapped into one end. There was a countdown from three before the painful device was driven into the wrist. People often joke this is the true test of one's unconsciousness because it's not a pleasant part of the life support setup. Jay's body started shivering and the heart monitors ticked up as tape was placed all around the IV site.
"Yeah, he's not happy," Marcel exclaimed, the side effects evidence of just how fried and done Jay's system was. A needle insertion set him off.
"Sssssssssshhhhhhhh, ssssssssshhhhhhh, it's all done. The pain will go away, Jay. Just breathe." Will repeated the phrase over and over while squeezing Jay's hand tighter. They didn't know if hearing Will's voice helped or the body adjusted to things, but a few minutes later life resumed its' normal rhythm of things.
"Okay, I'll come check on him in another hour or so. Try and rest tonight, Will." Will did a final scan, promising himself this was the worst of this. If Jay could make it one day, twenty-four hours, then things would only get better from here.
"Twenty-four hours?"
"Yeah, twenty-four hours." It was time to kick fate's ass.
The first third of the break point was spent sleeping, at least on Will's part. By the time he fell asleep it was close to 4am, not rising till noon. During his sleep Jay did very little of it, thanks in part to Marcel and nurses and things slipping off of him. As promised, Marcel did the hourly check-ins himself at the top of each hour. It began with pure observation, fully surveying all monitors above the bed. The scale of them took some time to get adjusted to, only then being able to understand and diagnose a very unconscious person. Once that was done the touch portion of the examination process was underway. Literally from head to toe, there was very little on him that wasn't poked, squeezed, pressed, or touched for signs of trouble. Then the verbal part kicked in, Jay's name being called as lights were flashed in the eyes or pain spots gingerly touched to elicit a response. Early on he was so deep in he didn't show any signs of life, but towards the midday mark he'd micro spasm or roll eyes lazily one way. That was super impressive and a sign of things going right, at last. The final part was to tweak medication, always. Whether it was to make an addition or increase what was already in his system, things were always increased. At some point they could take away but at this point it was all hands on deck.
Will arose to the sound of Marcel calling Jay's name, beginning with a whisper before projecting to a full call upon realizing Will was awake. A quick glance at the phone showed him just how out of it he'd been.
"Holy shit it's noon."
"SSHH," Marcel interjected, giving Will a slight glare before returning to Jay.
"Jay, can you blink for me?" Hailey had texted Will a few hours prior, asking if anything had changed and if she could visit. Apparently she'd been given two weeks off of work for grieving and recuperating and she said she wanted to spend the duration of her time with Jay and Will. Will smirked, realizing just how alike the two of them were in so many ways, soon replying he'd ask about visitation when Marcel called him over.
"Will, you're going to want to see this." Will just about threw the phone to the ground, approaching the bed in great haste. The eight hours of sound asleep with Jay didn't do much to adjustment him to Jay's current state of living, but it wasn't as sharp of an inhale he took as the time prior. Progress.
"Call his name." Will hesitated, trying to decipher if Marcel was pulling his leg or legitimate. When the doctor nudged towards Jay, penlight hovering over the right eye, Will figured he was actually trying to prove something.
"Jay?!" Marcel pried the eyelid open, waving the light as Will called again, this time earning himself the greatest surprise of this entire horror show: eye movement. Jay twitched his eye right to center, going back to right in a rapid succession. It wasn't right on command and a one time thing, but it was a response to life on the outside.
"How long has he been doing that?"
"This is the second time in six hours. It's a good sign."
"Um yeah."
"We're getting ready to take him for scans for a couple hours but wanted you to see that before we left."
"Yeah, thanks. That makes the guilt a little less heavy."
"Will, don't ever feel guilty for letting your brother live. He's bad but we'll try our best to get him through this."
"And then I have to tell him he needs another set of lungs." As if on some cue from above, lights started flashing and the heart monitors began singing a faster tune. Both doctors turned away from their discussion to the very person in question, struggling to find an issue. Things were fine and then not.
"Wait, he's trying to vomit," Marcel figured out, noting the clenched fists and diaphragm moving up and down. Before they could get Jay on his side the nastiness came up, all coming up the breathing tube and creating a disgusting, just terrible mess. The worst part was that they didn't know when it was done, each time they were just about to undo the breathing tube only to hear him struggling more. The only good part was that Jay wouldn't remember any of this, very much still unconscious for the entire episode.
"It's fine, Jay. Just get it all out," Will coaxed while keeping a hand on his right shoulder, closing his eyes in an effort to not cry. He felt beyond helpless and empathizing with his brother, wishing they could trade places in some way. When nothing happened for a good minute or so, the clean up operation kicked in. It began removing all gross clothing and blankets, allowing Will to see everything for the first time. All incision points were masked by gauze and tape, but their locations were right there, and the many drainage tubes enough to make Jay look like some sort of oozing freakish thing, for lack of any other description. It took him so by surprise, even with all his medical knowledge and experience. It kept flashing across his vision, this was Jay. Jay, that badass freak of nature that could do all now couldn't even breathe or urinate in a normal, human way anymore. He wasn't even aware he was on the verge of tears, but throwing his head in that crevice between Jay's head and shoulder, keeping clear of IVs and stuff, he sobbed violently. The talked about guilt that had slightly gone away was right there once again. He did this to Jay, he internally repeated. He messed his brother's life up with irreversible repercussions. Perhaps he should've let him go, given him some level of control and decency in his exit, because this was so constricted and unnatural it almost wasn't even worth living through. So as everything was cleaned up and breathing tube was switched out—which we will learn about more down the road—Will sobbed and apologized and was silent. Marcel encouraged Will to stand outside but he shook his head. No way he was leaving Jay alone. He made him this way and he had to see it to the very end, whatever that outcome was.
"We're taking him for the scans now. I need you to be prepared for him having to go back into surgery. The half eye movements and now vomit are signs that he needs the brain bleed addressed." Will finally lifted his head, at yet another crossroads of this never ending journey to an even big crosspoint.
"Okay, fine. Do what you guys need to do."
"Will, this isn't the end. We can get him through the surgery." "I just don't know how much longer he can take this, or would want us to take. I feel like at some point he'd say it was fine to stop."
"Will, he may not be conscious but he is still in control. You know this. We can give a patient all the help and surgery and medicine they need, but ultimately they decide things. Abrams and I will look at the scans before we decide anything. I'll call you up when we have results." Will removed himself from the bed to allow Jay to be wheeled away from his sight and control. It was here that Will recalled Hailey's text, deciding to call instead of reply. This kind of news wasn't supposed to be delivered via text. He made it as far as 'Jay' and 'surgery' before losing it once again.
"I'm on my way," Hailey spoke, not batting an eye. She knows if the roles were reversed Jay would do the exact same thing, no question. Forty-five minutes later she made it to the ICU floor to perfectly align herself with Will getting the news that Jay's once medium brain bleed had almost doubled in size, Abrams saying it was nearing life threatening if not drained and repaired ASAP. The surgery was suggested to take two hours but could possibly be longer. Will didn't get a chance to send his brother off as he was already being transferred to the OR. All he got was more paperwork to sign and a shoulder slap from each surgeon, the two life savers walking calmly and almost jokingly towards their mission. That one Will never quite understood, how calm and collected and unnerved surgeons could be. Day in and day out their shoulders are cried and begged on for them to save family members, yet they have this aura of absolute calm. Perhaps that's why Will was never cut out for surgery: he could never take out the human aspect of things. He understood these were people with stories far too much to be any good at cutting them open.
"C'mon, let's get out of here for awhile. You heard them, it's going to be some time." Will was first floored at the idea of leaving Jay alone at the hospital, but Hailey was right. He was way too in this, too much in his head and the dark, twisted games it liked to play with him. He needed a break, a different scenery of things. So as Jay was just about to receive the first of many burr holes in his skull, Will and Hailey went on a bit of a mental break field trip.
…
"This is breaking and entering, Hailey." "Will, you have a key given to you by Jay. Please tell me where we are breaking in."
"Um, the fact he isn't here and isn't even aware that we are coming in." Hailey rolled her eyes.
"Yes let's call him up. Hey Jay! I know you're in the middle of brain surgery right now and probably have a couple holes in your skull and blood draining out, but can we go into your place and get some stuff for you?"
"Oh, that's cold."
"Hey, I'm just trying to make a point here." Will sighed, concluding there was no way to sway her, and she had a perfectly good point. No one shot the good Samaritan, certainly didn't ridicule them for doing a sweet deed. Will pushed the key into the lock, turning it the correct way and feeling the satisfying click of the lock releasing. He opened the door for Hailey, insisting she enter before him. The oddness and quiet didn't fully hit them till they made it to the living room and turned all the normal lights on. Something was missing in the place, a certain person that completed things. There was evidence of a human living here, the discarded laundry and tossed pillows and blanket on the couch, and semi-clean kitchen proof for that. But there was a human element that was lacking, the movement of life and smell of a human being. Hailey mentally compared it to walking onto a crime scene. At one point someone was existing in this space, but right now that person was gone, with the exception of not forever. A few minutes after walking around Hailey figured bringing Will in was a bad idea, this lackluster life scene was probably the last thing he needed.
"This is a little odd to you, isn't it?" Will looked away from whatever he was daydreaming at to respond.
"Yeah, I keep waiting for him to come out of the bedroom all half awake and yawning." Hailey smirked, nodding that she too was getting and feeling it.
"Well, in a way he kind of is. He will wake up at some point and wonder what we're doing." "Yeah, let's hurry up and pack stuff." Opening the door made them chuckle, the unkept bed and laundry all over Jay's calling card. Both never understood how he could be equal parts tight and control and a total slob. Hailey jumped in with the bed making process, wincing as she tucked things in.
"You need to sit," Will instructed.
"Oh please, it's just a slight bruise. It's fine." Will wasn't having it, making sure she was comfortable on Jay's bed before venturing into the closet. Packing was near impossible when one took into account all that Jay would have to deal with, but eventually things that resembled an outfit were thrown into a bag along with socks and slides and a bathroom bag.
He came back to find Hailey sound asleep on Jay's bed, hugging one of his pillows. That one sent the inquiring wheels spinning, Will trying to recall a time something went too far or suspicious one night. But instead of dwelling on the private lives, his stomach lead him to the kitchen. Once in the kitchen he went into fairy godmother mode: scrubbing the place from top to bottom. He left the fridge for last intentionally, using that as his imaginary finish line. With the best case scenario seeing Jay walk through the door in a month, Will figured the thing had to be completely cleaned out. Leftover that were salvageable were tossed into a frying pan, a Halstead tradition that almost always disappointed but they kept trying it out. By the time the mishmash was sizzling and searing hot, wafts of Chinese, Indian, and American fast food were percolating the apartment, which was so atrocious it had Hailey up and plugging her nose.
"What died in here," she greeted Will who turned and laughed.
"It's stir fry!"
"What did you put in it, roadkill?"
"Oh so funny. Here! I'll make you a plate." With the lowest of expectation, Hailey slowly moved to the counter and sat on a stool. The smell only got worse the closer it came to her, at its' peak when inches away. She dared not take a bite till Will did, suspending a forkful between her and the bowl as Will dug into without hesitation. He opened wide, closed, chewed and swallowed before making en epic stank face.
"Oh Lord, that just might be the worst thing I've ever eaten. Do not put that in your mouth." Hailey giggled before deep belly laughing while watching Will dispose of the meal like it was toxic waste. It was a speedy yet meticulous job, but Will got it done.
"Okay, so what does he have," Will thought allowed while going cabinet by cabinet, showing Hailey a jaw of peanut butter and jelly and she nodded eagerly.
"I haven't had that since I was a kid! The question is…why does he have it"
"Oh, his late night snacking is so odd." Will made pb&js for two, handing her a sandwich before taking one for himself.
"A much better result," Will concluded before Hailey nodded in agreement. The two sat in silence for a minute or so, embracing the lingering weirdness of being in Jay's place and eating his food without him.
"Remind me to tell the building super to stop mail for him till he comes back."
"Yeah, of course." "How's the wrist doing today?"
"The pain that was kind of there yesterday is really there today and I'm pretty tired, but doing really well considering." Hailey somewhat hated herself for saying that last part.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say it that way."
"Hailey, it's fine. Don't apologize. I get it." Silence resumed awhile longer, that hesitation of wanting to ask the question but not feeling it was the right time or place.
"So.." Hailey began, unable to wait any longer.
"Nope, haven't gotten a text yet. I asked the nurse to ask Marcel to text me when he gets out."
"Wow, say that five times fast." Will chuckled, admitting it was a bit of a tongue twister. And as if they were in a TV show, his phone lit up with a text. Hailey held her breath as Will read to himself before sharing.
"Jay is out of surgery and resting back in his room. Marcel said he'll fill us in more when we get there."
"Sounds promising?!"
"Yeah, resting means he made it fine and filling in just means getting all the details."
"Okay, then let's go. We don't want Jay figuring out he's all by himself. That'll encourage him to do something stupid."
"You're right, let's hurry up then." They cleaned up the food mess before grabbing the overnight bag and heading out the door. It was a smooth trip back up to the ICU, Marcel and Abrams were in the room and checking Jay over for his first post-op exam. The surgery was a great success. The single brain bleed was corrected and totally drained, leaving Jay with a straight five inch incision on the right side of his head and a small line of hair missing. Now with surgery behind him, Jay had full rotation of his eyes. He completed a single left to right motion before going silent. It was his way of saying that he did what they wanted and now he wished to be alone to his sleeping. The remainder of the day was a quiet, steady, uneventful one. Overwatch duties being switched off between Hailey and Will. Both were petrified by how non-human Jay still was, but they were grateful for that twenty-four hour mark to pass uneventfully. It was a lull of a day, but one that all of them would never forget. As the saying goes, Rome wasn't built in a day. But it was built brick by brick. In Jay's case, every hour and day would be a single brick to rebuilding normalcy and eventually healing and getting back to life. And so as the clock struck midnight, Marcel motioned for Will to step out into the hallway with him. Will looked back to the bed to appreciate Hailey passed out while holding hands with Jay before obliging the surgeon's request.
"What's up," Will stupidly asked, knowing full well what this meeting was all about.
"Let's start game planning next steps." Take that, fate.
…
Four Days Later
Life by now was a total blur. Gone were the times of telling days as morning, afternoon, and evening. Oh no, life was categorized by pre-op, surgery, and post-op. Pre-op would often begin around midday, giving Jay the morning to rest and get acclimated with his very fragile, still healing self before going under the knife to correct and fiddle with more things. The first day was to continue repair on the carotid artery in the neck. True to Marcel's suspicion, further imaging and waiting revealed that there was still damage and issues that needed to be resolved. Once that was fixed Jay ditched the neck brace, his first medical item taken away from his body. Sure, it showed where the bad tracheostomy was and where two surgeries were performed on his neck, but at least he had function of his neck once again. Everything was about the small steps, the most unthought of functions that were restored to Jay's control. There was a particular moment in the middle of the night after surgery that Jay adjusted his head in his unconscious state that sent all alarms off due to the pain it caused him. Once things were under control, Will and Hailey celebrated. Jay moved. He moved!
The second day was to tackle a few internal things that showed up on scans and images during Jay's daily inspection of everything inside. This surgery was a couple hours longer then the previous day, turning out to be too much strain on things. That night was a rough one, almost worse then the first night of the bombing. Jay wasn't responding and alarms and lights kept everyone up for most of the night. By morning Jay finally caved, allowing things to be restored to their usual rhythm of things, making it through a tough outing and living to tell the tale.
Day three was a day off for all. If the night before proved anything, it was that Jay desperately needed rest and quiet and to be left alone. With the femur still needing to be fixed and the broken vertebrae that had to be replaced and repaired, Marcel made the call to give Jay some time away from the OR before he underwent that strenuous procedure. Day three was when the decision was made to begin the UNOS process. Jay's breathing never got to a good or even fine range and Will hated putting off the inevitable. Ideally he wanted to get Jay's blessing before going through with this life changing decision, but he knew he had no other choice. The process of getting put on the list was lengthy and Jay didn't have the luxury of time. Who did really? So that day they all built his case, which was easy, and presented it to the board, which was very hard. Decision time was set to be the following morning while Jay underwent the ortho and neuro repairs. Which brings us to where we find Will and Hailey.
"I feel like I've bought the city," Will joked while crossing the 'T' in Halstead for the billionth time. They found themselves back where the journey began: Sharon's office. She was the one who reached out to Will with the excellent news, Jay was on the UNOS list, awaiting the call for a double lung transplant hopefully soon. It was a somber moment on the one hand, realizing death would have to happen in order for Jay to have a life. But the flip side was that Jay would potentially get the chance to walk under his own power back up to Intelligence. While not wanting to downplay or ignore the harsh reality of organ donation, those caring for Jay chose to focus on the brighter side of things. Typically the patient signed all the paperwork but given that Jay was unconscious and Will was the temporary authority at the time of the decision, he was the signature donor.
"I know, it's a lot to sign but it's a fairly complex, serious thing we're dealing with."
"Hey, I'll sign away for the rest of time if it means Jay gets a second chance."
"So where is he on the list?" "He's not right at the top but in the top bracket. He does need them but there are a few other cases that are more pressing. But I will say, just because he isn't at the very top doesn't mean he won't get them quickly. It all comes down to tissue match and size and blood type and other contributing factors."
"Okay…this is just crazy but I'm going to keep trusting you medical guys." Will laughed, thumbing through the textbook amount of papers, making sure he got it all, before handing things back to Sharon.
"Let me know if I missed anything and thanks for the distraction."
"Have you heard anything?"
"The nurse came into the waiting room before you called us up here to say the femur was set and casted. Apparently it was broken in two places. They were just about to get going with the back and that was…three plus hours ago so they should be done soon." The three of them sat in silence for a moment, all of them realizing the journey they'd been on in less then a week. Last time they were here it was tears and fear and absolutely desperation. Today the tears weren't there and there was lingering fear, but overall a plan was in place. It wasn't a route wished on anyone, but they were relieved to have that way out of things.
"Okay, things look in order so from now on, keep your phone on you at all times. The transplant team will meet with you guys tomorrow to go over what things will look like when that phone call comes. They'll also probably do some blood work and scans but given that Jay is coming out of a serious surgery, tomorrow will be a better option."
"And speaking of," Will interrupted, waving his phone for them to see.
"What's up?" "Hey, surgery is done and I'll fill you in but you need to get down to recovery." "Recovery? Why, what happened?"
"Will, just get down here. Quick." Not a fan of the lack of an explanation and the strict aspect of Marcel's voice, Will didn't bother telling Hailey or Sharon what was said. He just got up and ran. The elevator was weighed but ultimately Will flew down the stairs. If this was bad he didn't want to think of Jay slipping away while he slowly drifted down and elevator shaft. He was totally out of breath by the time the recovery wing came before him, stopped dead in his tracks by Marcel standing outside the door waiting for him.
"What the hell," Will cried! Very much perturbed by the human blockade.
"Okay first, surgery was a great success. He will be in pain for a few days and the cast on the leg will need to come off in six weeks, but everything else is looking great. Stats are holding and reflexes are better then I expected, he's looking really good.
"So why call me down here."
"Well, as you know I like to keep patients that have gone through this kind of surgery sedated the rest of the first day. Bone pain is the worst kind of pain to go through so I'd rather have them unconscious and on strong pain meds instead of awake and dying."
"Okay?!" Will was about to stampede by now.
"So Jay is off of general and we were about to put him on the longer-term drugs when something happened." Marcel motioned for Will to follow, the two of them tip toeing their way to Jay. Curtain after curtain was passed, each in varying stages of waking up. Some were totally out while others were awake and talking. At last they reached Jay, Marcel pulling the curtain back to reveal the biggest and best surprise any of them had experienced in days.
"Holy shit." The eyelids were open but a crack and the face, body were so out of it and not him, but Jay was meeting Will's stunned face.
"He woke up and tried speaking which is why the restraints are on," Marcel said while pointing to them.
"He attempted to pull on the hose." Will nodded, not caring as Jay opened his mouth to try speaking again.
"Jay, you can't do that right now." Will immediately fell into caretaker role. Like a light switch, he was the stunned family member turned Dr. Halstead. Jay lazily licked his lips, wincing at how cracked and sore they were; Will asking for topical medication and receiving it in moments.
"He kept mouthing your name so we needed you to come quickly. The numbing medication that was injected in his back is going to wear off soon and he needs to be under before that happens." Will nodded as he spread the medication on the lips, not daring to leave his sight of Jay.
"That's going to taste bad. Sorry." Jay kept straining his eyes, moving in jolts as his body slowly overcame the anesthesia.
"Jay, can you hear me? Squeeze my hand if you can." Will put his hand in Jay's left, waiting and waiting and waiting till there was a small tug.
"Good! Are you in pain?" That one got a slow eye blink, like a little kid trying to stay up way past their bedtime. It was a good fifteen seconds after the question, but Jay squeezed Will's hand hard that time.
"Okay, I'm sorry bud. We're getting something now that will help that." Jay nodded, quietly groaning over how much the task hurt.
"Jay, do you remember what happened?" An immediate head shake, more discomfort as a result of that.
"It's okay. I'll tell you when you're more awake. You're doing really well, okay? Just hang in there." Jay drifted for a second, the hand and eyelids drooping in sync.
"Will, he's got to be put under now." Will nodded, sighing as he watched the syringe get screwed into an IV port.
"You're going to go back to sleep for a little bit. I need you to wake up when you're ready, alright? I love you, Jay." Immediately three hand squeezes replied, the strongest and most consistent of the whole reunion. Will wanted for the moment to last forever, but realized he couldn't keep Jay in agony any longer. There was so much fighting still ahead, more surgeries and recovery yet to even be planned but this moment, this visual reminder of who they were fighting for made it all worth it. Every rib removal and lung loss and IV line and awkward, scary, uncertain moment was necessary for this brief encounter to occur. Jay was far away from the Jay of old but today, right here in this small curtained off room of recovery, it was all going to be worth it and for the better. Will was sure of that, his smiling face the last thing Jay's fluttering eyes saw before peacefully drifting back to sleep.
So that was incredibly long and I hope you all enjoyed it. Since it had been so long since I last posted, I figured I'd make this long to make up for it. If you made it to the end, congrats! Can't wait to see what's next. Thanks for reading!