He and Amethyst stayed like that for a while, hunched over the counter while they spoke. Honestly, the hybrid had never imagined that he could be so comfortable with an Amethyst… but he was, oddly enough. He was comfortable with her. She was important to him, too, he could tell; she was a friend. Maybe even like… family. Family was another word that had popped into his head during their conversation, but he hadn't voiced it aloud just yet. He had a lot of things to think about for himself, some stuff to consider. For the time being, he allowed her to take the lead on their conversation, let her decide what they were going to talk about. She brought up one thing after another, mostly on the topic of food, as she coaxed him to eat and drink. He had no trouble drinking more water, and he ate dutifully whenever she would gesture toward the container of fry bits. The taste, eventually, became tolerable, but it was still strong.
"The first time I tried food…" Amethyst was almost stretched out over the counter, with her head in one hand and the other one reaching out to grab a fry bit for herself. "Well, it was only 'cause I saw Greg eating, I'm gonna be honest. It was like, a few hundred years or something after-" She seemed to stop, then, pausing and staring at the hybrid for a moment, before continuing. "after I joined the Crystal Gems. I never really paid any attention to humans before that," she admitted, gesturing toward the container as she popped a fry bit in her mouth, and Steven reached out to grab one for himself. "But Greg was eating something one day… I think it was a burger. And I was like, hold on, I've gotta try that 'cause it looks fun, right? That's how I do."
Steven couldn't help but laugh at that, chewing and swallowing the fry bit and running his tongue over his lips. "You do stuff just because it looks fun?" Amethyst nodded, grinning as she sat back and tossed a fry bit up into the air. She caught it in her mouth as it came back down, swallowing without chewing, and Steven tilted his head slightly. "I wish I could do that…"
"It's pretty easy." Amethyst grinned, looking back down at him. "You just throw, and-"
"Not that," Steven said quickly, offering a small smile. "I mean, I don't… I don't do anything just because it looks fun. I guess training can be fun sometimes, but that's something I have to do. There's nothing really… fun to do on Homeworld." He paused for a second, studying her expression carefully. The grin had faltered into a somewhat serious look, but she didn't seem to be particularly upset. At least, not with him, anyway. So, after a moment of hesitation, the hybrid continued cautiously, "and even if there was, I don't think I'd be able to do anything I wanted to do. Everything's pretty specific, especially when your existence is just… one big punishment." He hesitated for a moment, reaching out for another fry bit after a few seconds of silence. "That's just how it is, though. I'm a soldier," he commented quietly. "Nothing else."
"You are not just a soldier," Amethyst told him gently. "You're… you're Steven. You're a kid. You're a Crystal Gem," she added, and Steven paused, finally glancing back up at her. "Trust me, there's much more to you than just being some stupid soldier for that stupid planet. And now that you're on Earth, you're gonna be able to do things you want to do. Just for fun, or just because it looks fun, or just… whatever you want to do, for whatever reason you want to do it. There's definitely nobody stopping you here, is there?" The purple gem cracked a smile at him.
"I guess…" Steven trailed off for a few seconds, biting the inside of his cheek. "But I don't know. Everyone here's nice and all," he added hastily, "but that's the problem. Everyone's so nice. Aside from the whole memory thing, and the eating and the drinking and the sleeping, nobody's trying to tell me what to do, or give me orders or…" The hybrid faltered for a moment, sighing.
"That's the point," Amethyst urged. "You get to do whatever you want."
Steven hesitated. "I don't know what I want."
"And that's the beautiful thing, Steven." Amethyst smiled at him, crossing her arms over the counter and nodding toward the fry bit in his hand; the hybrid lifted it to his mouth with a sigh, popping it in his mouth and chewing and swallowing with a grimace. "You get to find out. You get to explore, and start small, and figure out what you want. You get to make the choice for yourself. You get to…" She trailed off, thinking. "You get to disobey, and rebel, and test your limits. I'm not saying you don't have any, but they're definitely not anything like Homeworld's. You get to decide who you want to be, outside of the soldier they wanted you to be." Steven faltered again, searching her gaze silently. "And you don't have to follow orders anymore."
Steven twisted his mouth, staring at her for a moment - only to pause, jumping slightly in surprise, and whirl his head around to look toward the door when it opened. He relaxed slightly when he realized it was just Greg, though; his Dad walked in carefully with what looked like a few plastic bags in his arms, shutting the door behind him with his foot; Steven stared at the bags for a moment, then lifted his gaze back up to Greg when he wandered inside and set them down on the stool beside him, offering the hybrid a warm smile. "Hey, good morning, kiddo. Did'ja sleep good?" He reached toward him, and Steven ducked his head slightly in surprise, eyes widening, when Greg's hand rested on his head, gently messing up the dirty curls. The touch wasn't uncomfortable, but certainly surprising enough to make him flinch at first. Greg paused, pulling back after a second, and offered a hesitant smile. "Sorry, Schtu-ball."
"No, it's okay…" Steven blinked, lifting his own hand toward his head. He looked up at his Dad after a moment, still wide-eyed. The contact hadn't hurt at all; if anything, it had felt good. Gentle and soft, and affectionate. His eyebrows furrowed again after a moment, flicking his gaze across Greg's face carefully, before abruptly remembering the question. "O- oh! I slept good, yeah," he agreed quickly, nodding vigorously in response. "At least, I think so. I don't think I did it wrong…"
"Well, that's not-" Greg paused, then cracked a faint smile. "Ah, nevermind, kiddo. Listen, I got you…" He reached down for the bags he'd brought in, and Steven paused, flicking his gaze downwards briefly and biting the inside of his cheek as he watched. "Some new clothes and stuff so that you should shower and change outta that outfit of yours, into something more comfortable." He paused, pulling out a few colorful items from the bag, what looked like cloth - some kind of fabric. "And… I'm guessing you don't remember how to shower, do you?" Steven shook his head slightly at that, and Greg smiled again, somewhat hesitantly. "I'll show you."
Calling a quick, quiet goodbye to Amethyst, Steven followed his Dad into what he called the 'bathroom' dutifully. The hybrid could name most of the things in there, himself, once he had stepped through the door. The tub, the sink… one of them, Greg had to explain was the 'toilet', and then he also had to explain that it was used to expel food (which was a whole new conversation in itself and Steven wasn't entirely sure he understood it at all). Then his Dad taught him how to turn the shower on and turn the handles in the tub to turn the water cold or hot, and he let the hybrid experiment with it idly for a few moments while he explained other things. Shampoo, body wash, rags, towels. Steven listened silently, nodding along carefully. He explained that the shampoo was used for the hair, body wash, obviously, for the body. And then to rinse himself off, dry off with the towel, get dressed in the new clothes, and he was done.
After the explanation was over, Greg helped him take the earrings off; the hybrid tried to do so himself, but they shocked him the second he touched them. So Greg reached out to pull them off himself, and Steven held still while he did, staring, wide-eyed, once they were removed.
"Thank you," he called before Greg left the room, shutting the door behind him, and glanced back toward the water spraying down into the tub. For a moment, the hybrid hesitated, watching it. Water. He didn't know how to explain the unsettled feeling twisting in his gut, but the emotions connected to it were horrible enough to make him shy away. The pain, the fear, the guilt. It seemed to come out of nowhere, and he didn't know why. So, for the first time since the memories had really started flowing, he gently stifled the prodding in his mind and focused, instead, on what he was doing for the time being; he took his uniform off like Greg had told him to do, stripping down completely and stepping into the shower, letting the water hit him.
He couldn't help but gasp at the feeling; at first, he almost jerked back. But he held himself steady under the stream of water spraying down onto him, feeling it soak into his hair, running down across his skin. He ducked his head a little, reaching up to cover his eyes when the water slipped down his face, feeling the droplets slide down across his skin like tears. For a moment, it was overwhelming. He couldn't breathe. He couldn't move. He couldn't think. The water rushed around him, enveloping him, soaking into him. He felt it slide down his shoulders and his back, tickling his skin with an almost gentle touch. But, slowly, he began to move again; it was almost instinct, raising his hands to smooth his hair back, before he tilted his head up gently so that the water could spray down onto his face, closing his eyes and letting it hit him silently. He felt it rush down against him, but this time… this time the sensation wasn't as overwhelming. The water was warm; not scalding, not freezing, it seemed to be just the right temperature.
Steven shuddered, smoothing his hair back again, and finally relaxed under the water.
For a while, he just… stood there. Letting the water rush over him. It felt even better against his back, where the scars were; he found himself leaning forward after a while, closing his eyes and leaning his forehead against the wall of the shower and just letting himself soak for a little while. If he could just stay there, right there, for the rest of his life… he wouldn't have any complaints.
Naturally, it took him a little while to actually do what Greg had taught him. He started with the hair, carefully squirting some of the shampoo into his hand and massaging it through the curls. He had to repeat the process a few times, using his fingers to run the shampoo through his hair, and he found himself relaxing even further as he did. After that, it was like muscle memory to him. He carded his fingers through his hair, spreading the shampoo around until he covered every inch of his head, every curl he could. He even double-checked, just to be sure, before dunking his head under the faucet to rinse the shampoo off like he'd been instructed. He squeezed his eyes shut, feeling the water and suds rush down across his face and the back of his neck, using his fingers to coax the rest of the shampoo out, guiding the water along.
After that, washing the rest of his body was a simple process. Feeling the water rush away the soap was an even better feeling; he reveled in it, marveling silently as he stood under the spray and closed his eyes again, tilting his head back and once again letting the water hit his face dead on. He stayed like that for a while, even long after the soap and shampoo was gone. He knew he had to leave eventually, had to get out and get dressed, but he couldn't move. It was like how he'd felt when he'd just woken up; it was so… so comfortable, so peaceful, that he just genuinely didn't want the bliss to end just yet. The hybrid ducked his head again, clasping both of his hands over the back of his neck and letting out a soft sigh as he let his shoulders droop. He rubbed his hands down over the back of his neck, then lifted them again to gently card them through his hair again, combing through the curls with his fingers and frowning at the tangles.
He spent the rest of his time in the shower trying to detangle his hair; the shampoo he had put in it and the water made it a little easier for him to pull some of the tangles out, wincing slightly on occasion when he came across a more unruly batch of curls. But he managed to untangle them after a little while, keeping his head under the shower and letting his fingers do most of the work, and ignoring the pain for the most part. Even that couldn't compare to some of the worst punishments he'd received on Homeworld the past few months - it certainly didn't light a candle to the destabilizer being shoved between his shoulder blades, so he'd take this any day.
When he finished, finally, he turned the water off as he'd been taught and stepped out of the tub, steadying himself against what Greg had called the 'bath mat' that resided beside the tub, so that the floor didn't get too wet. Drying himself off was a simple process, and one he actually kind of enjoyed doing. The water didn't feel the same once he had stepped out of the shower, so drying himself off was a relief. He was a little more reluctant to do so with his hair, wondering if it might tangle it again and undo all the work he'd just done, but he went on with it after a moment. Then, once he had dried himself off, he reached toward the clothes Greg had laid out for him. Shirts and pants - and this, he knew, without needing to be told. There were several different pairs to choose from; he sifted through each of them silently, mesmerized by the colors. One was a black shirt with a yellow star on the front, with a pair of blue pants. There were 'shorts', Steven recalled, and he picked out a pair of those because they looked the most comfortable. And he finally selected a shirt, a loose-looking white one with something printed on the front. He couldn't name the object, but it was round on one end and long on the other, with strings.
Just looking at it brought a grin to his face, and he didn't know why.
He pulled the shirt over his head carefully, then the 'underpants' - he didn't care enough about those to be specific about what he chose - then the shorts. Like he'd thought, they were comfy - the shirt irked him a little, though. It covered his body completely, even his gem; he couldn't help but stare down at himself every so often, narrowing his eyes when he couldn't see the gemstone. He'd gotten used to being able to see it when he looked down; having it covered now was an oddly unsettling experience. But he brushed it off for the time being, stepping forward and putting the clothes back into the bags Greg had left for him, and he paused, staring at his uniform. After a moment of thought, he bubbled them and sent them away to his gem instead.
When he looked up, his gaze caught something over the sink, and he straightened up a little more to get a better look. At first, he flinched in surprise at what he saw; it took him a moment to realize he was looking at himself, staring into a reflective surface. Like water, but solid, and much more clear; he found himself oddly drawn toward it, taking a few steps forward to study himself silently. He hadn't even noticed, he had a scar down one side of his face, from the bottom of his left eye, all the way down to his chin. And another one, toward his neck, running down the side of his jaw. He turned his head silently to study them, furrowing his eyebrows. He didn't even know where he'd gotten them. It could have been from the battlefield, it could have been from training, it could have been from a punishment. He had so many scars, he had been in such constant pain, that he didn't even notice the addition of a few more every now and then.
He traced the scar on his jaw and frowned, biting the inside of his cheek. It didn't hurt anymore, but he knew it was something that wasn't going to heal. None of his scars healed anymore. They hadn't healed since the battle, and he didn't think they were going to, even now. He wished he could say it didn't matter, as long as he could heal other gems, but it irked him. Stupid as it might have been, something about his inability to heal himself was just unsettling.
Steven stared at himself for a moment, letting his hand drop, before finally turning away. He grabbed the bags carefully and bubbled them, sending them to his gem and making sure he wasn't missing anything before he left the room, opening the door and stepping out silently.
The first thing he noticed was that Connie was awake, and had joined Amethyst and Greg at the counter. Lion was still sleeping, stretched out on the couch now where Connie had been. The hybrid paused for a second, glancing around and letting the door click shut behind him as he wandered over, and he offered a hesitant smile when they all looked up and turned simultaneously to look over at him, lifting a hand slightly to wave at them. "Uh… hey," he greeted cautiously, lowering his hand after a moment and balling it into a fist against the front of his shirt, twisting it slightly and biting the inside of his cheek as he glanced between them.
"Hey," Connie was the first to greet him, wide-eyed now as she glanced him over. "You look…"
"A lot better," Amethyst chimed in, sounding relieved.
Greg turned around completely to face him. "How're you feeling?"
"I'm… okay," Steven responded faintly, relaxing slightly after a moment. They'd been whispering when he walked into the room, he noticed, but he hadn't heard anything they were saying. He had a sneaking suspicion he knew what it was anyway, but he didn't want to think about that; he paused, glancing past Greg for a second to focus on the earrings, which his Dad had set on the counter between him and Amethyst. He stared at them for a moment, silent, then shook his head and walked forward, summoning the bubbles with the bags from his gem quickly. "Oh, I put these back," he added, popping the bubbles and holding the bags out to Greg with a hesitant smile. "I wasn't sure whether I should leave them in there or not, so I just… yeah."
"Hey, that's okay, kiddo." Greg took the bags with a lopsided grin. "We'll put them away in your dresser later. It's about time we updated your wardrobe, especially now. You've gotten taller."
"Yeah," Amethyst snickered. "You used to be roughly my height. Guess you're out of the Shorty Squad now," she added, somewhat wistfully. Steven couldn't help but crack a smile despite himself, a little less hesitant and a little more genuine this time. Shorty Squad. Actually, that itself stirred up some memories. Little flashes, little snippets of things, but still memories. Nothing specific enough for it to be a full puzzle piece, though, much to his own disappointment. He opened his mouth slightly to respond, but he paused and turned his head when the door abruptly flew open; he flinched, only at first, but he relaxed when he saw it was just Berry; the Ruby rushed inside with an excited squeal, cackling all the while, and Garnet followed silently.
"Oh, jeez-" Connie huffed out a laugh. "What happened to you two?"
"I'm a Crystal Gem now!" Berry exclaimed, skidding to a stop with a grin. Steven arched an eyebrow as the Ruby whirled around to face him, her eyes starry as she looked up at him. "Hybrid, I'm never going back to Homeworld. This, this is where we're supposed to be. Right here. On Earth. As Crystal Gems. With the fusion. I'm telling you, it's- it's- it's amazing-"
"So you changed your mind about hating Earth and the tiny creatures," Steven commented, but he couldn't help but smile slightly at the Ruby's excitement. Seeing Berry so happy and childish was rare in itself - he'd seen her grinning like an idiot whenever she had the chance to yell at other Rubies, he'd seen her smiling when they arrived on Earth and got a good look around at the structures and the humans and the sky and some of the creatures - but there was something about watching her express her excitement over fusions, about the Crystal Gems, that really brought a smile to his face. He couldn't explain why. "So you're a rebel gem now?"
"Not like them," Berry remarked, her expression briefly turning sour. "Stars, never." The Ruby paused, finally seeming to get a good look at him; he leaned back as she checked him over, and watched as she quirked an eyebrow at him. "Well, you look… different. And you're wet."
"Yep." Steven paused, running his fingers through his hair, and flicked some of the water at her. She stood there for a few seconds in stunned silence - while Amethyst snickered under her breath from behind the counter - before her hair abruptly burst into flames; Steven winced, but laughed, while everyone else except Garnet jumped slightly and leaned back in surprise. "Alright, okay! Cool down, shards," he exclaimed, reaching out to pinch one of the smaller flames out with his fingers. He froze when he made contact, but he didn't pull away; it hurt. It hurt, and he wasn't expecting it to. Not enough to make him flinch or jerk back, but enough for him to go still for a second before he pulled away from her again, somewhat startled.
Greg pushed himself up almost immediately, looking worried, while Steven turned his hand over to stare at the burns on his fingers, genuinely shocked. "Steven?" His Dad rushed over, and Berry stepped back, reaching up to pat the flames out of her hair with an almost worried frown.
"It…" Steven trailed off. "I forgot I didn't have…"
"It's okay- let me see," Greg reached out, and Steven let him take his hand silently, still shocked. It wasn't the worst pain he'd ever felt in his life, that was for sure - honestly, it was rather tolerable compared to everything else Steven could think of that he'd been through on Homeworld. Just the fact that it had hurt at all had startled him; he couldn't count how many times he'd done that before, and how many times it had felt like absolutely nothing to him. He'd forgotten that he could feel anything with his hands now; it was natural to him, but still… not. The hybrid furrowed his eyebrows, glancing back up at Greg. "Ah, kiddo, are you okay…?"
"Yeah, I'm- I'm okay," Steven said quickly, peering up at him. "Really, it's okay- don't worry! I've had a lot worse. Besides, I've been burned before… I train with Rubies," he added, hesitantly pulling his hand back and trying to offer the most reassuring smile he could muster, but it didn't really seem to comfort his Dad. If anything, he just looked even more concerned. Upsetting the gems was one thing, but since he was still trying to figure out whether 'Dad' and 'Diamond' were the same thing -just… obviously for humans instead of gems - right then, upsetting the human was the last thing he wanted to do at that point. "I was just surprised, that's all. I've done that before, but-" He gestured toward Berry again, and the Ruby slid a step back, shooting him a glare as she pinched the last flame out of her hair. "I was wearing limb enhancers when I did, so I guess I never actually hurt myself or anything, so I wasn't exactly expecting the pain, but-"
"Steven- Steven, it's-" Greg stumbled over his words, staring at the hybrid. Steven bit the inside of his cheek, watching him cautiously, and genuinely wishing he could put a name to the expression written across his face right then. "It's okay, Schtu-ball. I was just worried about you." He reached out slightly, and Steven blinked, taking a slight step forward; Greg took the invitation, reaching up to lightly mess up his hair again, and Steven once more ducked his head under the touch without pulling away, blinking up at the human. "I don't want you to get hurt."
Steven blinked again, gazing at his hand. "I'm sorry."
"Oh, buddy… Steven…" Greg let out a slow sigh and pulled his hand away after a moment, looking conflicted, and Steven hesitated slightly, once again getting the impression that he'd done something wrong. But, after a moment, Greg offered him a somewhat hesitant smile and shook his head at the hybrid. "It's alright, kiddo. You've got nothing to apologize for."
Steven hesitated for a moment, then offered a reluctant smile of his own. "I don't know about that…" He began, flicking his gaze toward Berry. The Ruby was still scowling, but she had patted out the rest of the flames and was currently running her fingers through her hair, now as if to make sure she hadn't missed anything. She continued to glare when the hybrid offered her an apologetic smile, and she didn't seem any happier even after he'd spoken. "Sorry, B."
"Shut up," Berry snapped almost immediately. "Do that again and I'll burn you on purpose." Steven opened his mouth slightly, prepared to solemnly swear to never flick water on the Ruby again, but the little red gem added with a grumble, "trying to touch fire, star-forsaken idiot…"
Steven paused, blinking, then slowly let a grin tug at his lips. "You care about me…"
"Don't-"
"You care about me," Steven boasted, curling his lips back sharply. "You don't like it when I get hurt either! Awh, Berry loves me," he cooed, snickering when the Ruby burst into flames again. Greg jumped again, surprised, and Steven was about to reassure him to the best of his ability that the little Ruby was completely one-hundred percent harmless right then, but he stopped with his mouth half-open when he heard the familiar chime of the earrings. He braced himself immediately, shoulders rolling back sharply as he prepared for the shock that would usually follow, but it didn't; it took him a second to realize he wasn't wearing the earrings anymore, and it took him even longer after that to flick his gaze back to where they were sitting on the counter. His pupils shrank slightly, smile faltering, and the others paused and turned to see what the sound was, and what the hybrid was looking at. The earrings chimed again, then buzzed.
"Rose Quartz." His Diamond's voice, for a second, made his heart stop. Steven sucked in a shaky gasp, and even Berry, for a second, seemed to recoil. "You are in so… much… trouble."
Steven stared at the earrings, stomach twisting sharply. After a moment of hesitation, he slowly stepped forward, walking toward the counter silently to pull himself up onto one of the stools. Amethyst had stiffened on the other side of the counter, and if Steven had gotten a proper look at her, he would've seen her gem pulsing slightly, hands clenched, as if to summon her weapon. But his gaze was fixed solely on the earrings in front of him, gripping the edge of the counter. "My Diamond…" He began carefully after a second, wondering if she could even hear him. "I-"
The earrings buzzed again, and Steven flinched back instinctively. "If you don't get your gem back to Homeworld right now, you'll be lucky if I don't shatter you on sight when I see you!"
Steven pressed the back of his hand against his mouth, pupils shrinking. "I'm sorry-"
"You're going to be."
For a little while after that, it was silent, tense; then, just as suddenly, Garnet walked forward. Steven leaned away silently when the fusion reached out for the earrings, and he couldn't help but flinch, jerking his head back, when she rubbed her fingers together; he thought back to Yellow Diamond at first, seeing the electricity sparking at her fingertips. That wasn't so bad. Then he thought of the destabilizers, he thought of the electricity racing down his spine, he thought of the paralyzing agony he felt as the weapon was twisted into his back. It was enough to make him scramble back after a few seconds, hopping backwards off of the stool. He only paused when Connie stretched a hand out toward him, looking worried, but even then, he continued to back away after he had grabbed the human's hand in return, only stopping when he was at a safe distance, to watch Garnet press her fingers against the earrings, silent.
The buzzing stopped, and the glowing flickered out just as quickly; Steven's eyes widened slightly in surprise, watching the fusion scoop the earrings up into her hand and crush them in one swift movement, clenching them tightly in her fists. He heard the crack as they broke apart - and his stomach twisted sharply, a nauseating jolt that sent his hand up to his mouth abruptly.
"She won't get to you here," Garnet vowed, turning back to the hybrid. Steven stared up at her, still wide-eyed, torn between his fear and his relief. "I won't let her hurt you again, Steven."
"It's gonna be okay," Connie offered gently, giving his hand a squeeze.
"She's angry…" Steven trailed off, flicking his gaze down to Garnet's hand. He couldn't keep himself from tensing again, but at that point, even he couldn't tell who he was the most scared of right then. His Diamond scared him, now, always and forever - but when it came down to it, she wasn't there. Garnet was. And a part of him knew the fear was irrational, that the fusion had literally just broken the earrings, cut off communication with his Diamond, to protect him - and the rest of him couldn't help but tense when he looked at her now, when he realized just exactly what she was capable of. The hybrid ran his tongue over his lips and looked back up, tense. But he paused again, before he could say anything, and glanced past Garnet when the warp pad at the other end of the house activated, unconsciously curling his hand tighter around Connie's.
Admittedly, he relaxed - quite a bit, at that - when he saw Pearl standing there, with the others; the pale gem paused to sweep her gaze around, but she practically lit up when she saw Steven, stepping down from the warp pad gracefully and walking over to them with a warm smile and diminishing the spear in her hand as she approached. "Steven, you're awake! I'm sorry that I wasn't here when you woke up, your friends were very excited to see the training arena."
"That's okay," Steven replied quickly, offering a relieved smile. "Hi, Mom."
Pearl stopped with her mouth still opened, the smile freezing in place. Steven's own smile faltered at once, leaning back slightly in surprise at the shocked look that entered her gaze, and the way everybody else except for the Homeworld gems each seemed to gasp in unison. It took a second for the hybrid to realize what he'd said; he hadn't even meant to. His mind had made the connection between 'Pearl' and 'Mom', so it had felt only natural… he leaned back slightly, rolling his shoulders back, and spared a wide-eyed glance between Garnet, Amethyst, Pearl, Greg and Connie as he pulled his hand back and took a step away from them, tensing up. He'd done something wrong. He'd said something wrong. The hybrid braced himself, prepared for the worst; he didn't think Pearl would hurt him, he didn't think Amethyst would (and he was still a little iffy about Garnet), but he certainly didn't like the fact that he had seemingly upset them.
"Ah- geez-" Amethyst stammered, still looking shocked now, as she glanced back and forth between Pearl and Steven. The hybrid tensed up all over again, rolling his shoulders back sharply and taking another quick step away from them. "Pearl, don't you dare," the purple gem warned, "because if you start crying right now, I swear to God, you're going to break him-"
Crying? Steven's gaze snapped back up to the pale gem, sucking in a shaky gasp when he saw the tears brewing in her eyes. Oh, no, that was even worse. He hadn't meant to make her cry. Something about the tears in her eyes, something about watching her lower lip quiver, it struck something deep, deep down within the hybrid. Tears always had that effect on him anyway - everyone else's, at least. He couldn't remember the last time he'd cried, himself. But he still didn't like it when other people cried; it hurt. And seeing Pearl cried… it hit a little different. It hurt just a little more. It made him anxious, it made him… confused. Even worse was being the reason she was crying, something he felt like he'd been familiar with, or at least something he'd always been afraid of. "I…" Steven breathed in again, eyes flickering rapidly across Pearl's face. "I'm so sorry, I didn't mean… I thought that's… I don't…"
"Too late." Amethyst sank down and buried her face into her arms. "Here we go."
"You…" Pearl swallowed, briefly raising her hand to her mouth. But she continued to speak, though her voice was muffled and hushed, the tears brewing in her eyes on the verge of spilling. "You think… you think of me as- that's what- you- you think I'm your- your mother…?"
"I-" Steven sucked in another breath, glancing around again. Oh, ohhh boy. He couldn't lie here, he couldn't say anything that might fix it. He needed to suck it up and deal with the situation. "I mean, I think-? I didn't- I just thought… I know you… that's what I think- think of when I think about you, I feel…" He trailed off, curling his hands into fists and pressing his knuckles against his mouth as he stared back at the pale gem, watching more tears rush to her eyes. "I'm…"
"You're making it worse," Amethyst muttered.
Connie hissed at her to shut up.
It took Pearl a few seconds to compose herself - and in those few seconds, Steven was genuinely considering stealing Berry's ship and flying back to Homeworld himself, because even that had to be better than standing here and watching her cry because of him - but when she did, she breathed in, held it for a few seconds, and lightly brushed the rest of her tears away with her thumb. "I…" She began, her voice still shaking slightly, but a little louder this time. She moved her hand from her mouth, balling it into a fist at her side. "Well, if- if that's what you see me as, Steven, I… oh…" The pale gem let out a whimper, rubbing her eyes once again. At that, Steven paused, blinking in surprise, and Pearl shook her head slightly. "Oh, I want to hug you…"
The hybrid paused again, feeling his chest tighten a little bit, heart stuttering slightly. "Wait…" He trailed off, staring at her for a moment longer. "So you're- you're not mad at me, or… upset…?"
"Goodness, no," Pearl exclaimed, rubbing the rest of her tears away. "Why would I be?"
Steven didn't have an answer. He just stared for a moment, still tense, before finally letting himself relax again after a few seconds. He let his breath out slowly through his teeth, shoulders drooping slightly, and managed to huff out a quiet, somewhat nervous chuckle as he pulled his hand away from his mouth. "I just figured…" He hesitated. "Because, I mean, I know the word- and I know what it means, I think, but…" The hybrid paused, glancing back slightly to look toward the portrait over the door. He stared at it for a moment, flicking his gaze over the woman smiling down at them, before he turned his attention back to the others once again. "It's you," he finally mumbled, not really knowing what else to say, how to explain what he was feeling. He couldn't even explain it to himself, couldn't really process it completely. He just knew what he felt when he thought the word 'Mom', and he knew her face was the first one he saw in his mind. And, honestly, he knew… it had always been like that. "It's always been you…" He trailed off.
"Steven…" Pearl's voice softened slightly, if that was possible; the hybrid glanced up again, watching her make her way forward, and furrowed his eyebrows slightly. The tears had spilled, despite her best attempts to rub them away. And he found himself reaching out instinctively as she approached, hesitant but determined - but before he could brush the tears away himself, Pearl gently caught his hand in both of hers and slowly pulled him forward into her arms.
Steven blinked, feeling her arms wrap around him. One of them clasped gently over the back of his head, and her other hand gently curled into the back of his shirt, pressing her mouth into his shoulder. Despite himself, the hybrid couldn't help but relax almost immediately at the touch. He felt just as safe right then, in her arms, as he remembered he had always used to feel.
After a moment, he wrapped his arms around her in return, burying his face into her shoulder. He stayed like that for a while, eyes open, staring at the floor just past her shoulder. Every part of him ached to trust these gems - heh, he was already starting to. He didn't want to go back to Homeworld. He didn't want to go back to his Diamond. He wanted to stay there… right there. Right here, with them. He wanted to relearn everything, to explore, to… test his limits.
He glanced up for a second, briefly letting his gaze focus on Amethyst, before he looked back toward the others. Berry had her arms crossed, watching them silently. Lemon Lime and Candy were grinning ear to ear, almost swooning - Agate was making a concentrated effort not to look moved by the situation, and Sage was half-leaning against her with her arm wrapped around the other gem's waist; she shot him a huge grin when he locked his gaze on her, and he couldn't stifle a giggle in time despite himself as he pulled away, taking in a shaky breath and flicking his gaze back up to Pearl to offer her another small, genuine smile. He wanted to keep feeling like this; he wanted to keep feeling safe, and happy, and loved, and everything he'd been missing. Homeworld, and his Diamond, and being a soldier… it couldn't give him that. He loved his friends, and he had no doubt that they loved him. Sometimes he was even happy with them.
But he could never feel safe on Homeworld. He had forgotten what it was like to feel safe; he'd forgotten what safe even meant, that it was even a possibility for him to begin with. That it was a concept, anything more than a half-baked idea in the back of his mind he'd never get to reach. And for a moment, he wanted to be… selfish. He wanted something, just for himself, right then. He wanted to keep feeling this, to be able to hold onto it for as long as he was able to.
"You took a shower…" Pearl chuckled softly, reaching up to brush his hair back gently, and the hybrid cracked another small smile, leaning into the touch. "Did you eat anything?"
"Yeah." Steven glanced over at Amethyst, letting a small grin tug at his lips.
"He hates donuts," the purple gem admitted, "but he likes fry bits. He also might drink the ocean dry, just a clear warning…" Amethyst paused, and raised her head again, looking excited. "Also! Pearl, I wanted to ask you, how good is the possibility of you letting him drink alcohol-"
"Very, very not good," Pearl interrupted, shooting the small Quartz a glare. Steven had to stifle another laugh, glancing back and forth between them. "Don't even think about it, Amethyst." The purple gem wrinkled her nose at the pale gem in response, but she sank back down in her stool after a moment and opened her mouth, sticking her tongue out at Pearl - and this time the hybrid couldn't stifle the laugh in time, though he did try, even covering his mouth to muffle it. But what really got him going was when Pearl stuck her tongue out back at Amethyst in response, and it even got a few somewhat startled giggles out of the purple gem herself.
"Alright, if the moment's over!" Tangerine pushed herself forward after a second, and Steven stepped back to avoid being rammed into when she speed dashed herself forward, rolling across the floor at the speed of light to reach him, and jumping up in front of him to stop. "Quartzy, you gotta see the training arena here," she told him, landing on her feet with a grin.
Agate sighed from behind her. "The last thing he should be worrying about is fighting."
"You say that as if I don't like fighting," Steven objected.
"I didn't say you didn't like fighting," Agate argued, crossing her arms and arching an eyebrow toward him. "I just said you shouldn't be worrying about it, considering it's not the kind of training that we came here to do in the first place." At this, Steven paused, eyeing her for a moment. Then he looked back down at Tangerine, who had turned to give his mentor the stink eye. Then he looked back up, toward Clementine, then Lemon Lime and Candy, then Berry - then, finally, he glanced over at the other gems, and Connie and Greg, glancing between them for a second. Greg had exchanged an almost worried glance with Connie, and while Pearl herself looked a little concerned, she also looked somewhat intrigued - along with Garnet, and Amethyst, who looked very interested. Steven met the purple Quartz's gaze for a second, staring at her.
Whatever you want to do, for whatever reason you want to do it.
Steven twisted his mouth, thinking for a moment longer, before he turned back to the others. He glanced at Agate, holding her gaze for a second, then offered a one-shouldered shrug. "Then…" He trailed off for a moment. "Don't think of it as training. Think of it as… having fun." He held his hand out to Tangerine, and the smaller Quartz seemed to light up almost immediately, grabbing his hand with a grin; Steven couldn't bite back a smirk in time. "But I'm totally gonna crush you."
"Ohohoho…" Tangerine cackled, tugging him forward. "You wish!"
"I gotta watch this," Amethyst declared, pushing herself over the counter. Steven huffed out a laugh as Tangerine let him forward toward the warp pad, glancing back over at Agate as he paused to step up onto it with the smaller Quartz. And he couldn't help but grin a little more at the expression on her face, a half-proud, barely noticeable smirk tugging at her lips now. And she was still smirking as she wrapped her arms around Sage's shoulders, turning to step up onto the warp pad with them after a moment, and the hybrid's grin widened even further.
"Alright, don't. Freaking. Kill each other," Berry warned, crossing her arms and walking forward, along with Pearl and Connie, to join them. Garnet was coaxing a hesitant-looking Greg forward, too; his Dad looked more worried than anything, but Steven's attention was more or less focused on the Ruby now. "One of you is rusty and the other is a distracted, nervous mess. This is just a recipe for a cracked gem, so I stress, once again; do not. Freaking. Kill each other."
Steven paused, exchanging a glance with Tangerine. The other Quartz offered him a thoughtful look, tilting her head to the side as if she was considering it, before they both shrugged at Berry. "No promises," Tangerine declared cheerfully, and Steven snickered, as the warp pad activated.