Chapter 23:
It had been quite a while since the last time that Finn had seen the Wolf. He'd hired the Wolf to check his kids out and try to figure out how to remove the Quicksilver Curse from his family. The witch-doctor had failed at that job, but that wasn't really his fault. Finn was now hopeful that he could do something for Susan because they were pretty much out of options. On his side, the Wolf was nervous. He had pretty much botched the last job this man had hired him for, but that was before the big man had become a Royal. Now, it was doubles or nothing! More to the point, the King had wifed-up the pretty doctor, making the risk even greater because Wolf had hit on her, giving the King plenty of reasons to smash him.
"Well," Drew asked? She wasn't thrilled about this, but she was out of options. She'd bounced back and forth so much that Simone had threatened to slap her. There was, after all, a life at stake. Did she really want to play the same game Bonnie had played? Bonnibel Bubblegum had infamously risked the destruction of the fragile bit of civilization she'd managed to rebuild in the wreckage of the world because she didn't want to ask a wizard for help with the Spoon of Plenty.
Finn shushed her. He knew where her mind was just now. Much like Bonnie, Drusilla Princess-Mertens had real issues putting aside her objections to something for the greater good. "Work's kinda' sloppy," Wolf murmured, which was an alarming statement. Padding around the sleeper, the witch-doctor frowned. That expression set Drew's nerves on edge. Doctors weren't supposed to frown. Bedside manner. Always manage your bedside manner. Never let the patient know he–or she–was fucked, even when the problem was terminal. "Soul's still intact," he mumbled, "you didn't kill her by moving her. She's not too far gone. I think we can save her." Both Finn and the good doctor blew out a breath. It almost made Finn want to chuckle. He might have if this wasn't so serious. Stepping back, the witch-doctor went out into the hall and retrieved his equipment. Laying out candles and other bits and pieces of his trade, the wizard got to work.
There was a part of Drew that wished she could see the things he claimed to see. As the wizard scanned his eyes across the patient, seeing what the doctor could only imagine, she wanted to know and experience those things. Simone had confided to her that wizardry was no light thing. It was often tied to emotional or cognitive dysfunction, and Drew found herself reminded of Maja's almost-crippling OCD or Simon Petrikov's social anxiety. Even still, a part of her would have accepted the trade to expand her repertoire.
Settling on the floor at the foot of the bed, the witch-doctor shut his eyes. They so often did that, when it made no sense at all to Drew, who depended on her five senses to diagnose her patients. Finn had explained that the witch-doctor was using his wizard-eyes–seeing sights that only a wizard could see. It was dangerous because they were oblivious to what was around them, and even their hearing could be compromised. Drew took her husband's hand and waited, doing her best to control her breathing without holding her breath–to avoid disturbing her fellow doctor at his work.
More than a hundred miles away on the coast, Blargetha returned to her cell from a fruitless excursion down to the courtyard. Her privileges had been summarily revoked. She'd known something was up when she'd tried to leave the tower early in the morning for a walk in the early morning air and found the door wouldn't open until eight. Now, as she walked back to her cell in a fog of worry, she found Maudie standing at the door of her cell wearing a triumphant sneer. The cunt.
"Short walk," asked the fallen Peanut Princess? That was what gave away the game. Maudie had been expecting this. Now it suddenly looked like a poor idea to gloat to a woman who was in position to squeal on her. Always haters, thought the fallen slime-person. There were always crabs in the basket trying to drag down any crabs looking to escape. Striding up to her enemy's cell, summoning up all her reserves of strength, Blargetha extended a hand through the bars. That hand curled into a massive fist. That fist connected with Maudie's left eye, knocking the peanut-princess flat on her fat ass.
The effort left Blargetha winded and literally fighting to pull herself back together, but it felt oh-so satisfying. At least until Maudie sat up and began laughing at her. Even with her eye swelling shut, the Peanut Princess's laughter stung. Blargetha turned and rushed up the hall. At least she would have rushed if she had any strength left. She'd be laying in bed for a while after that dumbass maneuver. The last thing she heard as she shut the door to her cell was Maudie's scornful voice. "They'll take that bastard," she snarled! "They'll take it from you as soon as it's born! The Ice Queen'll never let you raise it!"
Back in the Candy Kingdom, an old friend of the King's family was taking a long stroll down memory lane. Kara Van Pelt slipped down the darkened back stairs of a familiar old warehouse. She'd been in and around the place almost since she could walk. It had only been in the last year or so that she'd learned of the awesome secret hiding inside. Reaching out with the skill of muscle memory, the big woman toggled a hidden catch. Then, tugging the door open carefully, she slipped inside. It was smooth and fast, leaving no chance for anyone to see, but that was the point of all the practice.
Dropping down into the passage beyond, Kara shut the door behind her. Sliding on well-greased hinges, the door clicked shut almost silently. You wouldn't have known it was there from the outside, but that was the point. Nobody on the surface was supposed to know the door was there. They were the oblivious sheep, and she was one of the shepherds. The curvy woman turned and stepped off. There was work that had to get done. Splashing through the muck, she took the twists and turns through the maze of tunnels, her mind on the task ahead. The job for today was simple. Check out the recycling systems on the south-side. The only fly in the ointment was that she'd have to deal with the chief Helper. Martin Mertens was an asshat.
"Hey, Kara," announced a voice, as she rounded a curve. "Frieda," the big woman replied. Her coworker/highschool chum had thoughtfully brought Kara's tool-belt. She didn't have to go to central. The tall woman spent a bit hitching on the belt. "Ok," she said. "Let's get at it." There was a long slog ahead of them through the bowels of the city.
The young black woman fell in alongside her childhood friend. They'd been running together basically since they could walk. Kara's mom had left her with Frieda's parents when she had things to do where she couldn't take her daughter, and Frieda's parents had left her with Kara's mom when they were too busy to take care of her. They'd lain out on the rooftops at night, staring into the dark, empty canyons of the streets, and they'd hidden out in the tiny backyard behind their building 'camping' like people did in the stories. There had been no question that Frieda would follow Kara when the big woman became a Seeker. They'd become partners down here in the bowels of the city, secretly keeping the town functioning and taking care of the people up above. And they were still the best of friends, sharing stories and laughing about the things they saw and the things their coworkers did.
For a time, as they sloshed and splashed their way through the muck, there was little said. Kara wasn't exactly the most talkative sort, and Frieda? Well, she was thinking dangerous thoughts. She'd been thinking dangerous thoughts since Paul DeFranco got caught rummaging through the scrap pile on sublevel ten. Martin had turned him in, and he'd gotten the ultimate penalty.
"Ever wonder about the outside," asked the young black woman? It was out of the blue. That was Frieda. She tended to sort of sit on things and stew. And then something like this would come out. Kara frowned at her. The big woman's expression changed like quicksilver. "C'mon, Kara," Frieda rumbled. "Don't be like that." "You know the rules," the big woman muttered. "You know them as well as I do." There was to be no talk of outside. As far as everyone in the city was concerned, there was no outside. That included Seekers too. Irritated, Kara turned and strode off down the tunnel, leaving Frieda staring at her back.
Halfway down the passage, Kara heard a voice, calling to her. For a moment, she stood there in a state of puzzlement. That didn't sound like Frieda. Turning towards the direction she'd come, the big woman stood listening. The voice came again, closer this time. "Who's there," she demanded? "If this is Jerry, I'm'a belt you!" The inveterate practical joker was always trying to get Kara's goat. "Susan," called the voice. "Susan, come back. Your friends need you." "Ok, Jerry," Kara muttered. "I'm'a give you a ten count." A light came on, blinding in the darkness. Striding forward into the painful, light, fists cocked to punch the practical joker, Kara muttered, "yeah, Jerry. It's lights out this time."
Susan opened her eyes. Far from sitting up in a rush, the big woman lay there a moment, her green eyes slowly scanning the room. There was an intelligence there, and that gave Finn comfort. She hadn't been turned into a mush-head. After a few moments, his old friend's eyes locked on his. "Hey," Finn greeted her. "Glad to see you awake, Susan." The big woman's lips curled in a frown, and she said, "it's Kara." Finn blinked. "Uh...," he stammered, after a moment. "My name is Kara," the big woman repeated. Drew turned to the Wolf and grabbed him by the ear as if she were going to tear it off, saying, "you grabbed the wrong soul, dumbass! You find Susan this instant!"
Finn stopped her from kicking the shit out of the terrified witch-doctor. Turning back to the woman on the bed, he asked, "do you know who I am?" Nodding, she replied, "your name is Finn." With a cute little frown, she added, "you're dressing a lot better these days." The big man flushed. Drew stopped what she was doing and stood there, waiting on what her husband was going to do. Nodding at the woman who'd been violently accosting the man who'd been whispering at her, Finn asked, "do you know her?" "She's Doctor Princess," Kara replied. "Where am I, by the way? I'm guessing somewhere in your Candy Kingdom."
Drew's face held a look of worry/concern. Something was kinda' not right here. Susan Strong's ability to speak had been somewhere around the level of a young teen or tweener. This woman's speech and diction were those of an adult. And those eyes. It was almost un-nerving the way she looked at them. "Glad to have you back in the land of the living," Finn said. "We can talk later..." "Can I leave," she asked? "You just got done having your soul floating outside your body," Finn replied. "I'd kinda' like to let the doc here look at you and make sure you're free to travel. You've been asleep for weeks." He pointed at the nasty sore that stretched down the length of her right arm.
The big woman flushed. She vaguely recalled throwing down with some unsavory types. They'd dosed her with something. More to the point, she was kind of checkmated here. She could insist, but then she'd be the one looking irrational. Laying herself back, she said, "well... I guess I'd kinda' like something more solid to eat than whatever they've been pumping into me." That was fair enough. Taking over, Drew said, "I'd like to run a few tests first. It's a little dangerous to feed you solid food right off." Susan/Kara groaned.
Finn took the Wolf outside. "Ok," he said. "Is that the right person?" "You tell me," the witch-doctor replied. "That's... It's the soul that belongs in that body. Can't tell you anything more than that." "She's... different," Drew burbled, as she shut the door on her patient. "Never met her, so can't speak t'that," said the wizard. "I did everything right." He clearly wanted to get paid. "Do people... change when they're out of their bodies...," Finn asked? "They don't change the way you're thinking," an anxious Wolf replied. His eyes said. He thought he was about to get stiffed. "Explain," Drew rumbled. With a shrug, the witch-doctor replied, "sometimes it fixes 'em..." Seeing that she was going to beat it out of him, the Wolf explained, "call it a reboot... like a robot or something... It sometimes fixes problems in the brain-box..."
Finn stiffened, and both doctors stared at him. "Susan had the mind of a kid...," he said. "She was like Maja. She wasn't in her right mind. It got a little better later on, but it was like... something happened to her." "And now she's Kara," Drew rumbled. "What if she was always Kara, Finn? What if Susan was the false persona?" It took a moment for him to sort through that string of words. "I named her Suan," Finn muttered. Frowning, the big man said, "she was babbling... She was trying to say the word 'sun'. I gave her the name Susan because she didn't have one." Turning to go, Finn said, "keep her occupied. Don't let her leave..." To the Wolf, he said, "see my secretary for your payment." In the right now, the King had a very un-kingly job ahead of him.
Leaving Drew with the dubious joy of dealing with the strange change in his old friend, Finn headed down to the car park and climbed aboard a limo. Beside him on the seat, he had a bag filled with a set of grubby clothes and a pair of his old work boots. Rolling through the town, he found himself reflecting on all the ways his life had changed over the years. Not least of those ways was the fact that this was no longer his home. As the limo passed through the town center, the big man found himself remembering odd moments from the past. At one corner, he and Jake had sat under a tree, munching on bits of candy-trash that they'd found laying around. It was a habit that Drew had beaten out of them when they got sick off rancid candy. The trees were gone now, replaced by a towering block of offices.
That brought to mind the business-dudes that he and Jake had rescued from a block of ice. They'd tried to fundamentally change the way he and Jake did their thing. Finn vaguely remembered fobbing them off somehow, though he couldn't remember where they'd gone. It made him understand Marceline a little better. He understood how she felt so alienated and friendless. How much change had she seen? In the life of one man, he could see demoralizing change, but he could imagine Marcie literally seeing the rocks and dirt around her change. That was some kind of something.
The various stripper-girls from the club were on the scene when the limo rolled up at Riley's place. Finn hopped out and headed up the walk to find Velvet, Nickie, and a girl he'd never met sitting on the porch, drinking iced-tea. "Hey," he greeted them. "What's in the bag, big man," Velvet asked? "Working clothes," Finn replied. She was giving him the eye, almost mean-mugging him. He wasn't sure what that was about. He'd always gotten along with Velvet.
Passing the stripper girls, he went up inside the house, and there he found Teri working up drinks and chow, while Riley laid out brushes and other stuff to work with. Teri's face lit up when she saw him. Riley's reaction was a little more subdued. Awkward. This was still a bit awkward. "Still need help," Finn asked? He hefted the bag with his work clothes. "Yeah," she said. "Thanks for coming." "I'll be right back, he said, as he headed for the little bathroom off the front door.
Outside, Cupcake acted as if she wanted to jump on Velvet. "He's the frickin' King, V," she groused! "So," the plump woman retorted. He was a man, like every other john they saw. In point of fact, not so long ago, he'd been sitting in the second or third row tossing money at the stage just like all the rest. Velvet wanted him to go away. She was uneasy with the effects he had on their lives, and he wished Teri and Riley would get a grip on themselves.
As if to punctuate the plump woman's words, their latest problem came strolling up the street with a friend at her side. "Hey, guys," Tallulah announced. "Hope I'm not late." Velvet gave her the same dirty look she'd just given Finn. This woman was trouble on the hoof. She'd jumped ship like a rat and abandoned them all when the trouble with the undead started in the east. While Riley was trying to figure out how to get them all to safety, Tallulah had bailed on them and slipped back across the ocean to the west. Now she was back and clearly looking for trouble.
Indeed, not long after she arrived, Finn came out with a paint bucket and a brush in his hands. His face froze solid when he caught sight of the two water-nymphs standing there at the bottom of the stairs. For a moment, Nickie feared a fight would break out or something. Then, just as suddenly as the issue had arose, Finn solved it. "Hey, T," the big man greeted the nymph. "Glad you could come." It was a greeting that surprised even Velvet. Then, as if to punctuate the moment, the King of Ooo turned and got to work, slathering paint on the handiest wall.
It was days later that Finn finally returned to the Infirmary. Drew kept him mostly informed about what was going on with Susan Strong. She was getting stronger and healthier. Drew had her eating solid food again, and she could often be found trying to get about her room. They were coming to a decision point. They wouldn't be able to keep her in that room. They'd have to turn her loose. Trouble was, Finn wasn't sure that was safe. There was something odd about her, and Finn feared turning loose another dangerous person to be a problem for the Kingdom of Ooo.
Breezing past the checkpoint and the guards who were there to keep his guest in this space, the big man slipped through the door and into Susan/Kara's room to find her sitting near the window, looking out. The Candy Kingdom had changed quite a bit since the last he'd seen her. He'd bumped into Susan on the surface what seemed like an age ago when he was twenty-one, tied down, and married with two wives and three kids. He hadn't seen her again until he found her in Bandit Princess's lair.
"So," Finn said, "how we doing?" "Not sure what's worse," Kara rumbled. "The scabs and scars on my back or the needle-pricks on my ass." She was getting a little tired of the good doctor's poking and prodding. The wounds from basically laying in her own filth were slowly healing, but it was taking time and making her cranky. It was totally off the cuff and totally out of character for Susan Strong, but she had one more zinger for him. "Hope you gave those fucks a couple of punches for me," she declared. Finn chuckled. Susan didn't swear. She didn't even know what 'fuck' meant. "Yeah," he said. "Six feet under."
Those green eyes burned into his. It wasn't the same as when he'd met Susan that day, decades ago. "The Hyoomans," Finn murmured. "Are they?" "Mostly," she said. "Those things hit their town in the middle of their sleep-period. I was up... I guess... I think I had insomnia." Big words. She was using words that she'd never have been able to say when they'd met. "Raised the alarm," the big woman said. "Tried to frighten them off the way we'd frightened off most of the things that turned up at Beautopia..." Finn grimaced. The Dipped weren't creatures you could just scare away.
"Mostly they weren't interested in us," she sighed. He could see it in her eyes. She was reliving very bad memories. The big man took her hand and gave it a squeeze. The gesture seemed to say, 'they were my friends too'. "Some of us escaped," Kara murmured. "Those things... I think they were mostly interested in the stone. I heard some of them talking about whether or not it was granite or maybe limestone." "They were trying to collapse the tunnels to open a pathway under our defense," Finn murmured. "We were holding our own, and they were trying to get around our defenses." Kara's face snapped up. She'd had no idea where the things had come from or what they wanted.
"There was a war going on," Finn said. "Up here. We were fighting for our lives, and we just didn't have time to think about your world down there." Kara glanced away. A part of her had been angry. She could still feel the anger, though the memories were kinda' faded or weird. Maybe it was getting all her marbles back after being a crazy amneziac for years. But it wasn't this man's fault. She moved on the way she'd always moved on. Move on to the next fight. Keep walking forward, or you might die.
"I gathered the people I could save," she said. "We made our way out of the tunnels and headed west." That was when they ran into the bandits. The bandits had attacked their camp in the wilderness. "Held my own against them, but I think they maybe hit me with some kind of sleeping dart," she said. "Felt dizzy. Then I went down. Woke up here." Finn was frowning now. "What," she asked? "Some of the Hyoomans are still alive," Finn said. He'd thought them all dead. Honestly, Kara hadn't really been thinking of that. "I'm'a find them," Finn said, as he let go her hand. Rising, the big man said, "whoever took them... They'll be punished." He said it with authority. "You the bubblegum broad's boyfriend now," she asked?
Finn stopped in his tracks. "I'm King," he replied. "Lot's been going on while you were out cold. I'll... I'll stop by later." The way he said it pretty much seemed to say, 'if I have the time'. Kara watched him go. The lack of information was frustrating, to say the least. She knew this man. She knew him well. Now that she wasn't crazy anymore and could put together coherent thoughts, she realized she knew quite a lot about him. At the same time, she was missing months, maybe years. That would have to get fixed if she was going to get out of here and complete her mission. If it still can be completed, Kara, she thought. If she looked back on things, there had been a lot of water through the tunnel. It was quite likely her mission no longer mattered.
On his side, Finn headed out, intending to dial up Thor and start the process of hunting down the slavers who took the Hyoomans. There was a meeting on tap for the afternoon. The Privy Council wanted to chat about progress with the Wall. Fionna had been working overtime creating massive nodes similar to the ones she'd built on the northern part of the wall. She was working her way south towards Lizard Kingdom day by day. With the reflecting node already built at the Grey Forest, they were able to get the move of the nodes done in mere moments once his daughter had finished. Things were going well. The first families among the refugees had been screened and placed in new lands on the interior, and Toast was working with the few remaining small domains outside the Wall to try to help them.
Still, Finn was uneasy. His mind was on the signal that Peihong had sent with Arecibo. Arriving at the council chambers, the King slipped into his place beside Simone. "How is Susan," she asked? "Doing better," Finn replied. "She wants out." They'd talked about that. It was a dangerous situation. They didn't know this new personality. They had no idea what had happened after she escaped the Dipped. "Workin' it," Finn said. "Did you work things out with Hurletta," she asked? Flushing, Finn nodded. "We should talk," he murmured. "Later," she said. It was time for the meeting to start.
Lollipop brought the meeting to order, and Finn announced, in a loud, clear voice, "the southern section of the wall is being updated. Princess Fionna has finished two-hundred miles. We're making good, steady progress." "And the weakness in the mountains," demanded Duke Heinrich? The Peanuts were awfully worried about invaders. That stood to reason given that Ingrid had smashed their castles and destroyed their private armies. The Peanut Kingdom was defenseless. The remaining nobles were, just now, squabbling amongst themselves to figure out who was going to be on top. That would have to get sorted, but it was useful right now. Nobody had the power to do anything... foolish. More on point, the threat of people hopping the Wall kept them from acting rashly against each other. They had to preserve their forces.
"I have a garrison at both ends of the mountain pass, Finn replied. "There shouldn't be anybody hopping the fence before Fionna can move it to a better location." Shouldn't. They didn't like shouldn't. People's lives were on the line there. Finn's face was placid, but Simone could sense that he was enjoying the fat man's discomfort. She didn't like that side of him, but she understood what he was doing. Of course, there were other problems in the offing. Duchess Henrietta popped off next. Shut down one peanut, another stepped up to make trouble. "We've been hearing rumblings that the criminal, Blargetha, is being allowed to roam free," she growled. "I find this deeply disturbing when our liege, Princess Maude, is still incarcerated."
"Princess Blargetha is under a suspended death sentence," Finn retorted. "I have the power to kill her any time I feel it necessary with a simple thought. I hardly consider that to be 'roaming free'." The fat woman shut her mouth. "Princess Blargetha's status is special," Bonnie murmured. "She exists outside the Peace of Ooo. I would not accept this but for the desire to maintain our principals even in the face of our great need for defenses."
The Duchess looked like she would start complaining anyway. Some of these people were blindly, stupidly loyal to Maudie. Of course, knowing that Maudie had been the person who squealed on him and set the whole 'get Blargetha' thing in motion, Finn couldn't help wondering if she'd managed to slip messages out to her supporters somehow. That was something he thought he ought to look at. He had been very generous with accommodations for the outlaw princesses. All but Wildberry lived very comfortable lives. That might have to change. In the now, it was time to move on to the next topic. The sooner they got through everything, the sooner he could get out of here and go look in on Riley and Teri. As Lollipop opened her mouth to move the agenda onward, a commotion at the back of the hall announced a late arrival. The tall candy glanced to Finn, who nodded for her to let the newcomers get settled.
Instead of finding seats in the empty back of the hall, the pack of them insisted on pushing their way forward. Finn grimaced in irritation. He was trying to stay in good standing with his two baby-mamas. He didn't want this thing to drag on too long. Fighting down impatience, the big man waited and waited, even signaling for the guards to help the new comers come to the front of the room.
He was a little startled when Strudel appeared half-dragging an older breakfast person. The distinguished gentleman came dressed in rough pants, shirt, and hiking boots, under a lab-coat like Bonnie or Dr. P might wear. "Babe," Finn greeted his wife. "What's up?" "Trouble, Finn," Strudel replied. "This is Doctor Bacon. He's head of my kingdom's Royal Astronomy Institute." Finn cringed, and both Simone and Bonnie gripped either of his arms at the same time. That sounded like it was going to be big trouble.
Hmm... Kara. It appears that the Bandit Princess has opened up a can of worms. Blargetha's privileges have been... revoked, and Finn is kinda' in the dog-house. And what did Dr. Bacon see in his telescope?