A/N: ENJOY!

~You think she's adorable, she thinks that you're intolerable

You think you can do it but your chances are improbable

Once you feel unstoppable, you run into an obstacle

Isn't life comical? I think that life is comical~

~Lil Peep~

Bruce was sure he'd be free soon. He knew once they found Joker and Lyra together, the police would have no choice but to let him go. They would realize that Bruce had tried to help her, but it turned out she was just too far gone. Once he was free, he would insist that he wanted to adopt the baby. He could afford to raise it, give it a good home. If he couldn't save her, he could at least save that innocent baby.

He wasn't surprised when his lawyer and Detective Cortez came through the door.

"Mr. Wayne, you are under arrest for the kidnapping on Lyra Napier. You have the right to remain silent."

Bryce was confused. "Did you go to the apartment? Did you find Joker? Were they there? They are criminals."

The detective ignored Bruce's outburst, finishing reading the Miranda Rights to him. He finally sighed. "Mr. Wayne, we just got back from their apartment. We spoke to Mr. and Mrs. Napier. As we were leaving, the Joker was on live television, threatening the city."

"No, you're wrong."

"I guarantee you, I was there, and she looked terrified."

"No, she is evil. She helped him. She was at amusement mile last year. They gassed a lot of people. They are evil."

"Calm down Mr. Wayne." The detective led him out of the interrogation room and into a holding cell.

Bruce didn't understand, he knew he wasn't wrong about any of this. Why was the detective lying about this? Was he one of Joker's men? As he sat in the cell, he watched his lawyer talking with the detective. He hoped his lawyer would get him out of here soon.

The holding cell had been empty besides him and he was thankful for that. It hadn't taken very long for the officers to start to process him. The fingerprinting and mugshots were just embarrassing. He was pushed into a room where they made him strip down and he was searched. The clothes given to him didn't fit well.

He was pushed into a small cell. He looked over at the small cot and the toilet with the attached sink. He wouldn't be able to stay here too long. He laid back and tried to relax while his lawyer hopefully did her job.

Joker was waiting patiently, today, the message had been given, and he'd gone live and gave the city an ominous yet vague warning. There would be no saving grace this time. To expect the worst at any moment. Plus, he needed to be seen. After Bruce had been arrested, Joker had to change the plan slightly.

This whole ordeal had given Joker a small bit of hope. A chance to get a little payback for Bruce. He only delayed the plan 24 hours. Using the extra few hours were well worth the chance to get revenge on Bruce. All of his high handed actions had set him up for the big fall.

Joker couldn't have planned it any better, really. He pulled his car from cliff's apartment building, happy to have the man on retainer. Cliff had transmitted live from the place. It was magical. The drive to the house was long and uneventful. He was actually excited to get there. Things were going down tomorrow, he would enjoy the peace for tonight.

He pulled his car up the drive and into the garage to park. He made his way into the house. The dogs met him, nearly knocking him down in their excitement. He laughed as he pet them both. He could hear Peach in the other room. He walked through the kitchen and into the living room. She was on the phone, he listened in.

"Yes, thank you that is great news. Please keep me updated" she paused to listen. "Yes, just let me know when."

She ended the call and turned towards him. He smiled. "Hi"

She launched herself at him. He held her up as she kissed him, smearing the face paint he still wore.

"Won't your husband get jealous." He whispered.

"I won't tell if you won't." She kissed him again.

He let her down and she pushed free of him and smiled at him. "Time to explain everything." She said.

He moved to sit when a loud cry sounded from the small baby monitor. Peach moved to go get the baby.

"I'll get it." Joker said and moved to go upstairs.

"Her." She called after him.

Joker rolled his eyes, "I'll get her." He said.

He got to the nursery and opened the door, surprised by how nice it looked. Peach had been busy. He walked over to the still screaming bundle. He could smell the problem. He picked it up and moved to the changing table.

He shrugged off his coat and rolled up his sleeve. He grabbed what he thought would be needed. The smell was worse once he opened the diaper. He cleaned the mess and put on the new diaper, tossing the dirty one into the bin.

The louder crying had stopped, and the baby was trying to suck on its fist, whimpering. He wrapped it back up and headed back down the stairs. His wife was there waiting, he handed her the baby.

"I think its hungry." He said.

Peach frowned, but lifted her shirt to start the process. Joker watched, mesmerized, the sight sent strange feelings through him. He looked away.

"So, are you going to explain?" she asked.

"Where's Red?"

"Guest house."

"Good, he's going to hang around for a while."

"Well," she said, "He is my husband, you know."

He knew she wasn't happy with him, "Only on paper, for now."

She didn't say anything, eyes locked on him.

He took a deep breath and sighed "When you told me what happened, I was livid. I wanted to kill Bruce Wayne with my bare hands. I calmed down, and decided, before I killed him, needed to hurt him. The best way to hurt someone, like him, is to destroy their life, before you take it." He ran a hand through his hair.

"The best way to get to that point is to use Jack Napier." He fought to keep the way he felt about that name, off of his face. She was watching him, waiting for the explanation.

"At first I was just going to kill him off, but I had talked to the people at the hospital. Told them I was your husband. Then I used my connections to just change his face. I needed someone else to be Jack. So I borrowed Red."

"Why?" she finally said.

"Why what?"

"Why Red?"

"Why not? I trust him, he's not attached to anyone, and he had a surprisingly clean-ish record."

"So, what? This makes Bruce a kidnapper to an innocent pregnant woman, since my husband is obviously not you."

"Yep, that's why I pushed the 'revolution' back a day, and made sure to be seen on live TV when Red texted me to let me know you were about to be visited by the nice detectives."

"You sneaky, brilliant asshole." She said.

He laughed, "You have the strangest pet names for me."

"I would say fitting not strange." She moved the baby to the other breast, catching Joker's attention again.

He looked away once he realized he had been staring.

"How long will that be happening?" He asked, pointing at the baby.

Peach looked up once Kayla had latched on. "Why?"

"Well, you can't very well come to work with the baby attached, can you? Seems irresponsible."

She laughed, causing the baby to jump at the sound. "The doctor said to take it easy with the physical activities for about six weeks. Then we will see."

"Six weeks?" he frowned, "That seems excessive."

She laughed again, Joker watched her as she put a finger inside the baby's mouth, breaking the suction. "She's done."

"How can you tell?"

"I can feel it, she was just holding it in her mouth, like a pacifier." She said as she moved her bra back into place and fixed her shirt. She stood and handed the baby to him.

"Burp her." She said, pulling Joker's hand up to rub small circles on the baby's back. "Like that."

He watched her walk away. He didn't like having the baby so close to his grease paint. He moved the baby into his lap and held its face in his hand, leaning it forward slightly. He gently patted the baby's back. After a few minutes, he was rewarded with a small wet burp.

That was easy, he laid it down on his thighs and stared at it. It looked different than before, he studied the tiny face. The puffiness had left its face. He could see light eyebrows. How odd that he had just noticed them. He had watched it sleep for hours the day before.

It had hair, kind of. Babies seemed useless. It slept and ate. Oh, it shit too, he knew that first hand. He heard the dogs bark outside, causing the baby to jump in its sleep. Arms flailed out and then pulled back in to its tiny little body.

He laughed, and the baby's eyes shot open. Joker froze, its eyes were blue. One a dark, deep blue. The other was a lighter silvery blue, with an even lighter blue around the pupil. He wondered if that was normal or if it would have eyes like Peach's?

The baby closed its eyes again, breaking the spell. Joker looked around, where had his wife gone? He took the sleeping baby back to the nursery and started to look for Peach.

Bruce was not sure why he was still locked up in the back of the GCPD. Why hadn't his lawyer done anything? He jumped when he heard the keys in the door. A cop he didn't recognize, open the door. He walked towards Bruce demanding he stand up. The officer was silent, while he cuffed Bruce and moved him into a different interrogation room than before.

There was a woman sitting on the far side of the table from where the officer forced him to sit. The officer transferred him to a new set of cuffs that were attached to the table. The woman didn't speak until the officers left. Bruce noticed the camera in the corner of the room was unplugged.

"Mr. Wayne, my name is Joan Leland, I am a doctor at Arkham. Your lawyer had asked me to interview you."

Bruce was horrified. His lawyer thought he was crazy? This was ridiculous.

"I am not crazy." He told her.

"I didn't say that you are crazy. She asked me to make sure you are of sound mind. That way they can get to the bottom of the allegations you have against you."

Bruce eyed the woman, then nodded his head in compliance.

"Wonderful. I want you to know that everything you and I talk about in this room, stays between us. I am here to make a determination, not tell them the things we talk about. Do you understand what that means?"

"Yes." He said.

"Good. So tell me what's going on, Mr. Wayne."

Bruce took a deep breath. He decided to go for it. "The Joker is after me."

She raised her eyebrow in question. "Is he? How so?"

"Well, he killed innocent people and staged them to look like my parents murder."

"Yes, I remember reading about that. Did he come forward and acknowledge that he meant it as a direct threat?"

Bruce had to keep from grinding his teeth in irritation. "In a way."

She nodded. "Moving on. What else?"

"He came to see me at the hotel conference I held. I was doing open interviews to find a new idea to invest in."

"He did? Did you report this to the police?" She looked up from the notes she was writing.

Bruce let out a sigh. "No, he came by without make up on his face."

"So you have seen his face?" she asked.

"Yes." Bruce didn't say he had seen it before when he had searched his records at Arkham.

"Did he look like this?" She asked, pulling a large picture form a folder that sat on the table.

Bruce looked at the picture, "Yes, that is him."

"Very good." She said.

"He called himself Jack Napier." Bruce told her "He strongly implied it was his real name."

"It is interesting you bring that up." She pulled out another photo, sliding it across to Bruce.

It was a picture of a Driver's license. Bruce picked up the picture and frowned.

"That's not right." He said. The ID said Jack Napier, but the picture was all wrong.

"It is valid. We have checked it all out, even spoken to Mr. Napier. This is the only Jack Napier the state has on file."

"No, Joker is Jack Napier, he told me."

"Mr. Wayne, please calm down. I am just trying to get to the bottom of this."

"I am sorry, but that is not Joker."

She smiled now, "You are right, that man in Jack Napier. He is married to the woman you have been accused of holding captive."

"No, she is married to the Joker. She was at Amusement mile when they gassed all of those people." His voice was raised again.

"Mr. Wayne, please."

"No, you are trying to make me look crazy, I am not crazy."

There was a knock at the door and Detective Cortez came in his face grim.

"Mr. Wayne excuse us for a second. Dr. Leland, will you follow me?" The detective said.

Bruce sat in his chair, he didn't understand what the problem was. Why did no one else see what was clear to him?