Pehea wau i ʻike ai i kou makuahine
Based on the characters and stories of Hawaii Five-0.
Hawaii Five-0 is owned by CBS and their respective creators.
"You okay back there?" Steve reached behind him and gave her thigh a gentle squeeze as they trotted through the valley on the back of his horse.
Catherine leaned forward and rested her head on his shoulder blade as she tightened her arms around his waist, "I'm good." Truth be told, she was a little hesitant to be back up on a horse. The last time she and Steve had gone riding, she had been pregnant with Shelby and had been thrown off when her horse got spooked. Riding with Steve made things a little better. He had an ease about him around the majestic animals. His sure, commanding presence helped her to relax and enjoy the ride.
He pulled on the reins and slowed the horse to a stop. Steve hopped off the saddle and reached up, wrapping his hands around her sides to help her down. "Easy." He watched as her foot caught the stirrup and helped her step to the ground. Steve led the horse to the stream for a drink and looped the reins around a post. "You okay?" He turned and placed one palm on her belly, the other on her cheek.
Catherine blushed, "Steve, I'm fine." She waved her hand dismissively.
He kissed her slowly. His tongue traced along the line of her pursed lips until she gave him entrance. He pulled her closer and tangled his fingers in the back of her hair. Steve sucked her lower lip in between his teeth and gave it a gentle bite, eliciting a quiet whimper of satisfaction from her throat. Catherine stepped up on the tops of his steel toe boots and pressed herself closer to him. He pulled away slowly and nuzzled his nose against hers. "Just had to check." He murmured. She smiled as his hands kept her pressed against him. Steve wrapped his arms around her and held her. "I just like to, uhh, to worry about you sometimes."
The corners of her eyes crinkled as a smile drew up on her lips, "If that's how you check on me then please… worry more."
Steve's low chuckle sent fire pulsing through her core. He took her hand and led her to the stream, "Tell me something."
"Hm?"
"Do you miss it?"
"Miss what?"
"The CIA?"
Catherine thought for a minute. "No." She shook her head and sat down on the bank. "I don't. I, um… I knew I needed to get out regardless of you and I getting back together. I was done."
Steve sat beside her and leaned back on his elbows, "Is that why you've been dodging calls from Gina?"
"Director Haspel." Catherine corrected.
He smirked, "I've known her for fifteen years. It's Gina." Steve toed her foot with his boot, "She, uh, she gave me a call this morning."
Catherine's eyebrows raised, "She what?"
Steve finally turned his head to look at her, "She told me you hadn't answered her about the job offer and hoped I'd persuade you to say yes." He massaged the back of his neck with his hand, "Cath… The director of the CIA is offering you a job. Do you know how rare that is?"
"I'm really happy right now. I mean, things are good between us. And I don't want a job, even if it's the perfect job to get in the way of that." She blurted out.
"That's exactly what you said when you almost didn't take the job with Billy."
"And we remember how well that turned out." She muttered sarcastically.
Steve held her hand and laced their fingers together. "And I'll say exactly what I said then: we're good. Nothing's gonna change that."
She leaned her head on his shoulder, "Are you mad that I didn't tell you about it."
He looked out at the water and shrugged, "I mean… I dunno. A little I guess." He glanced down at her, "I figured you'd tell me on your own time."
"I'm not gonna take it… I don't want to. I'm... I'm happy." She smirked as she added on, "I may have just wanted to make the director beg a little before I said no, that's all."
Steve laughed, "That's my girl." He flipped himself to quickly straddle her and pulled her in for a mindblowing kiss.
Steve was stretched out on his belly as he waited for the wind to die down. It had been a long time since he had been in Coronado and being back was a welcome change of scenery from Guantanamo and whatever other unfortunate corner of the world he found himself in. BANG. The bullet flew out of the barrel of his rifle and slammed into the steel target. BANG BANG. Two more shots echoed through the gun range as they hit the target that was nearly 1,200 meters away. "Dead." Steve smirked as he peered through the scope and saw the metal shake.
A shadow passed over him as a group of SEALs walked by. He took out his ear plugs and began to break down the rifle. "How's Jackson recovering?" A tall, bearded SEAL asked the other.
The other SEAL stood with his back towards Steve. "Good. He's anxious to get out of Landstuhl, but it was good to see him. His spirits are up - he's ready to get home to Emma."
Steve rolled his eyes. Billy Fucking Harrington. That was the last person he wanted to run into at the moment. He knew Billy had been in Kabul when he broke up with Catherine and there was no doubt in his mind that he would have swooped in like Superman and been there for Catherine in her moment of post-breakup vulnerability. Fuck him. Steve was suddenly thankful he was concealed in his Ghillie suit.
"How was the rest of leave? You make a fool of yourself at that thing in Amsterdam?"
Billy chuckled, "In Amsterdam, yes. The thing at The Hague went fine, though."
"What happened?"
"You remember that Navy intel girl I was with a while back?" Billy began. "She was getting discharged from Landstuhl when I was over there visiting Jackson and, uh, she showed up in Amsterdam so we spent the weekend together before I had to be back here."
Steve nearly came out of his skin. He had been keeping a close eye on Catherine's recovery in Landstuhl and had been notified when she was discharged.
"And by 'spent the weekend together' you mean…"
Billy grinned, "R and R well spent... in bed."
"Wasn't that McGarrett's girl?"
Damn right she's McGarrett's girl, Steve thought. Was… his girl.
"They ended things a while back. You know I sure as hell wouldn't cross him." Billy chuckled.
"So are you and her back together or did you just tap that ass for the weekend?"
BANG! BANG BANG!
Steve had been so intent on listening in on their conversation that he didn't realize the other SEAL had settled in to fire his weapon. Steve's ears ached at the blistering sound and he cursed that he had taken his earplugs out. The ringing finally dissipated and when he focused back in on their conversation they had changed the subject. Damn it. He pushed his Ghillie suit aside and looked at his watch. As much as he wanted to beat Billy into the ground, he had a plane to catch.
He stood up and shrugged off the suit before stuffing it into his duffle and breaking down his rifle.
"Shit." Billy had looked over to see who was under the Ghillie suit and let the expletive escape his mouth a little louder than anticipated.
Steve glared at Billy out of the corner of his eye as he checked his equipment. "Harrington." Steve wasn't about to cower away in defeat.
Billy hid his fear well. "McGarrett." The other SEAL in between them was suddenly thankful that he was the only one with an operational weapon, though he figured McGarrett could assemble his rifle faster than he could blink. "How's GITMO?"
"Sunny." Steve's cold answer sent a chill frostier than Russia in the winter. "How's Amsterdam?" He didn't know whether or not his question would knock Billy off his game, but he was willing to take the shot.
He chuckled. He knew McGarrett was grasping at straws to intimidate him. Billy had the upper hand for once and he wasn't about to let it go to waste. That's why his self-assured smirk showed up as he replied, "She's great, thanks for asking."
"Catherine!" Amy flung her arms around Catherine's neck as she hugged her. "I didn't think you were gonna make it!"
Catherine laughed as she hugged the bride-to-be. "You know I wouldn't have missed this for anything!"
"You almost did! I didn't think you were gonna be discharged from Landstuhl in time!" Amy exclaimed as she let Catherine go and turned to finish applying her makeup in the mirror.
She dropped her bag and sat beside Amy, "I'm sorry I missed the rehearsal last night - my damn flight kept getting delayed over and over again."
Amy waved away the apology, "No sweat. Just walk down the aisle before me and make sure I don't chicken out!" She pointed to the rack of dresses. "Your's is the one on the end."
Catherine slid through the hangers until she found the dress with her name on it, "Thanks for getting this together. I'm kind of the worst maid-of-honor ever. Couldn't even get my own dress."
"Because you were deployed! You know how these military weddings go. You just hope your friends can show up and take who you can get." Amy glanced around and lowered her voice so the other ladies wouldn't hear, "Steve made it…"
"Kinda surprised he's not deployed but I figured Matt would have him be a groomsman if he wasn't running an op." Catherine forced a smile. "I'm good. I'm over it."
Amy gave her a doubtful look, but their conversation was cut short by the wedding planner popping her head in to make sure they were on schedule.
Steve stood at the front of the church and watched as the bridesmaids walked down the aisle towards the stage. One by one they took their places on the other side of the chaplain. He looked over as Matt shifted nervously and exchanged a few words with his father. Matt had chosen his dad to be his best man, but Steve was the next in line. He had missed the rehearsal the night before but had been quickly instructed by the wedding planner to escort Jen back down the aisle at the end of the ceremony.
He knew Jen rather well - after all, she, Amy, and Catherine had been thick as thieves when they served together on the Enterprise. Even still, he was slightly disappointed that it wasn't Catherine who would be on his arm as they exited the chapel.
His attentioned turned to Matt as he coughed to catch Steve's attention and mouthed the words, "She made it."
Steve's eyebrows raised as he looked down the aisle to the double doors at the back of the chapel and saw Catherine.
She floated down the aisle in the same powder blue dress the other bridesmaids wore, but somehow she looked more radiant than anyone in the room. Her hair was swept up into an elegant bun. As she turned to take her place in line, the faintest of smirks flickered at the corner of her mouth. Steve caught a glimpse of the ink behind her neck. Pigs must be flying because Catherine Rollins always swore she would never get a tattoo. Her eyes locked with his and she shot him the same self-assured smile Billy had for just a fleeting second before she looked away and focused on Amy who began to make her way down the aisle.
Catherine grinned as her best friend entered the church on her father's arm. She was grateful to have something else to focus on because the minute she had seen Steve through the doors of the chapel she felt the nerves beginning to overtake her. She had let out a shaky breath before putting on her mask of confidence and walking that aisle like it was a damn runway. She may have cried over Steve McGarrett after her weekend in Amsterdam a little more than she would have liked to admit, but damn if she wasn't about to put on a show. Catherine tried to convince herself that she was over him. She succeeded in convincing Billy and her mother, and even Amy, but now the most important person to convince was the man standing ten feet away.
Her confident smirk had seemed to have done the trick for the moment. He was avoiding looking at her at all costs. This was the easy part though. There was no way either one of them were going to make a scene in the middle of a sacred ceremony, but as Amy and Matt said their "I dos" she knew the hard part was just beginning.
Catherine was certainly making up for missing all the pre-wedding festivities by being the most dutiful maid of honor ever - and it was driving Amy absolutely nuts. "Catherine." Amy pulled her aside as Matt shared a dance with his mother. "I love you. And I know you're avoiding him like the plague, but you're hovering." Catherine opened her mouth to protest and to likely explain that she was just trying to help Amy out on her wedding day, but Amy wasn't having it. "Don't argue. If he knows what's good for him, he'll be avoiding you too. So have a drink. Dance. Talk with Jen since you haven't seen her in God knows how long, but you gotta relax."
"I'm over him, Ames. And we're adults. We can be in the same room and be civil." Catherine declared in hopes that she could convince herself of the obvious lie. "It's your wedding day." She smiled, "Stop worrying about me and I promise to stop hovering."
Amy looked over Catherine's shoulder, "You sure you can be civil?"
Catherine turned to see Steve lingering a foot behind her. Amy squeezed Catherine's arm and looked up at Steve, "I'm glad you were able to be here." She smiled, "I know Matt is too."
Steve gave her a hug and a polite kiss on the cheek, "You look beautiful, Amy. Matt's a lucky guy. Congrats." He looked up at Catherine as Amy patted his arm and walked back to her new husband. "Hi."
"Hi."
He stuffed his hands in his pockets as his eyes shifted around, "You, uh, you look good."
"Same to you." She nodded as she looked back to where Amy was, "I should probably see if Amy needs anything." Catherine began to walk past him, but his hand blocked her as it caught her waist.
"Didn't she just tell you to, uh, have some fun and stop hovering?"
Steve's hand burned her skin through the chiffon dress. "Glad to see they covered eavesdropping in SEAL training."
"Catherine, wait." He pleaded as she started to walk away again. He caught her hand and held on. "One dance." His eyes were practically begging as he added on, "Please?"
Catherine glanced over her shoulder to where Amy and Jen were huddled and watched as Amy mouthed the words 'be civil'. "Fine. One dance."
Steve loosened his grip on her hand but didn't let go. He led her out to the dance floor and rested his hand on her waist. "How, uh, how are your folks? You seen 'em since you got back?"
Catherine placed her hand on his shoulder as they began to sway, "I should be asking you that." She looked up and locked eyes with him, "Since you apparently talk to them more than I do."
"They were worried about you." He pulled her closer. "So was I."
Her jaw clenched. She felt the tears pushing on her eyes, "They're my parents. They're allowed to be worried." She put on her mask of confidence before stating, "You told me very clearly that you didn't want that burden anymore."
"Catherine, I -"
She dropped her hand from his shoulder and pushed away from him, "I can't do this." She whispered as she turned and bolted for the door.
"Catherine." Steve followed her outside into the chilly Virginia air. "Catherine, wait." She shivered as the cold wrapped around her bare arms. "Here." He quickly took off his dress blues jacket and went to drape it around her shoulders.
"No." Her opposition was firm as she held out her hand to distance herself from him. "I have worked really hard to get over you. I'm happy."
"Yeah, well I'm not!" He shouted. "I'm not over you and I'm fucking miserable!"
"Well that's just too damn bad!" She hissed.
Steve ran his hand through his hair. "Are you seeing him?"
Catherine knew the 'him' he was referring to Billy Harrington. Billy had texted her about their exchange at the gun range and she had been happy to know that he had played his cards close to the vest about what went down in Amsterdam. Truth was, she and Billy spent the weekend together enjoying each other's company, seeing the sights, and rocking each other's worlds at night. The sex was fantastic and spending time with him had been relaxing, but she had told him that she wasn't ready to jump into anything just yet - that she needed some time to herself. Frankly, Billy led the same harrowing life that Steve did. As much as she wanted to regard him as the 'safer option', loving him was equally as dangerous.
For the first time in a long time, she had felt sure of herself. When Billy had expressed his desire to get back together with her, she felt confident that her decision was the right one. What right did Steve think he had to come back into her life and wreck it?
"I'm not." She stated confidently. Catherine crossed her arms in a show of strength. "I turned him down."
For the first time in nearly a year Steve had hope. "Cath…" I love you? I want you? I'm an idiot? He rubbed his palm down his chin, "I'm sorry."
"If you believe what you said to me on the phone then you shouldn't be sorry." She shivered as a gust of wind blasted through the tiny courtyard.
Steve took a step towards her. "I'm sorry."
Catherine mentally calculated how far away he was. Four paces. Three paces. Two paces. One more step and he would close the gap between them. "I don't need you."
"I know." He admitted sadly. "I watched your debrief and your polygraph. I know what happened, Catherine - I know you don't need me!" He set his hands on his hips and turned away from her just to turn back again, "I watched you take out two armed insurgents who were gonna shoot me. I watched you shoot a man who was aiming an RPG right at you and you didn't even flinch!" Steve was one second from getting on his knees and begging. "I know you don't need me, but hell, I need you to want me as badly as I need you."
One step.
Steve closed the space between them. His hand gently grazed the back of her neck as his thumb brushed against the tattoo that was partially concealed by her updo. "I need you."
His whisper snaked around her. She could smell the faint aroma of his cologne. Seeing him in his dress blues always made her swoon, but not anymore. She was done crying. Done pining after him. Done being heartbroken - or at least that's what she told herself. The four glasses of champagne she'd had were telling her otherwise. Catherine clenched her jaw. She was battling with herself and she didn't know which side would win.
"You're thinking too loud." He murmured as he pressed closer to her. He dropped his hand down and hooked his fingers into hers. Catherine's silence had him realizing that he had probably lost her for good, so what the hell. He rested his forehead on top of her head. "One dance." His voice cracked as he begged. "I won't say a word to you. Just give me one last dance."
She took his hand and led him back into the wedding reception. True to his word, Steve was silent as they joined the crowd on the dance floor. His hand slid onto the small of her back as his other hand clasped hers. Catherine's palm rested on his chest as they began to sway back and forth. Slowly, she felt herself melt into his embrace.
Catherine lowered her guard and rested her temple on his chest for the remaining minutes of the dance. She felt his forehead press into her hair as the song died down. Steve closed his eyes to try and block out the pain in his gut as the heartbreak sank in. The music had stopped, but she held on. Steve slowly loosened his grip on her hand. He wanted her, but he respected her wishes more.
Steve's world crashed when he felt cool air rush into the gap between their bodies. That was until he felt her arms snake around his neck as she whispered, "One more dance."
AUTHOR'S NOTE
We got a happy ending for Amy and Matt! The question is, will we get a happy ending for Steve and Catherine? Leave your thoughts and comments in the reviews!
A little housekeeping:
If you've been following for a while, you know that I upload a new chapter every single day. Truth be told: it's a lot on my end. Each chapter is about 3-4 hours of writing with another 1-2 hours of proofing and editing. Sometimes more depending on how many outline points I need to hit in a single chapter. I have an incredibly busy week coming up with my job as well as my birthday a week from today (whoop whoop!), SO - my usual daily upload may not happen this week. I will try to write and upload as much as I can, but I don't have any chapters stored up currently. I write the day's chapter the day before. So, please bear with me this week! I'm doing my best to keep this story on track and maintain my household and my job.
XO,
-Mags-