The moment I had stepped back into my hut, Clarke had started in on the teasing. I just shook my head, laughed, and told her that I'd run into Murphy. That shut the teasing down and left the blonde confused. Until I told her why and understanding seemed to click behind those sapphire eyes of hers. Clarke agreed with me that it was a good plan, and with Bellamy soon to be gone, Murphy was the next logical choice outside of Octavia.

Now, we were headed to the dropship as we continued to discuss strategies on how to keep the camp safe. Safe from my people and safe from the Council. We were coming up the ramp when the curtain fluttered, and a hand planted itself firmly against my chest. I blinked a few times as I followed the arm up to see Raven staring at me intently.

"Um, hi," I said, confused as to why I was being stopped.

"Everything okay, Raven," Clarke asked, just as confused as me.

"Yep, it's all good," Raven replied, looking at her. "The radio and video are good to go. All you need to do is flip the switch, and Wells knows the frequencies. Oh, you might want to head up to the third level, Clarke. Sounds like Blake is waking up."

"Oh, okay," Clarke said, hesitating. "Is there a reason—"

"Yep," Raven interrupted, popping the 'p.' "I need a word here with Harlee. So, we're just going to go and head back the way y'all came."

"Harlee," Clarke asked, as she looked at me with concern.

I looked between the two and then nodded, "It's fine. I'll figure out a way to let you know I'm there when we're done."

Clarke took a step closer, "Are you sure?"

I nodded again, sighing, "Yeah. You know we need it, Clarke. Go, we'll be fine."

"Okay," Clarke replied. "I'll see you inside later."

"Yep, later," Raven said and started pushing me back down the ramp. "Let's go, Harlee. You have some 'splainin' to do."

"'Splainin'? I don't know that one," I said as I turned around and let Raven guide me.

Raven scoffed, "You know" -she changes her voice to some weird accent- "'Lucy, you got some 'splainin' to do'" -voice goes back to normal- "I Love Lucy? Ricky Ricardo? Lucille Ball?"

I shook my head, even more confused, "Is that some book? I don't think I read that one."

"Some book? Some book?! No," Raven shook her head in disbelief. "It's a tv show. Like ancient. Before color tv. You know, moving pictures."

"Raven, I grew up in a cell, remember," I said in exasperation. "What they gave me to read on only had books. Nothing else."

Raven stopped our march across camp and just looked at me. I stared back, confused, and maybe a little frightened. Then she just shook her head, grabbed my arm again, and started walking.

"Raven, where are we going," I asked.

"Someplace we won't be bothered," Raven replied.

"My hut," I asked since we were headed that way.

Raven shook her head, "No. Further."

The only thing further than my hut was the forest, and the only reason I could think of was that Raven didn't want anyone to hear the screams. I didn't think I had been that bad, but this was Raven, and I realized that I knew nothing about her.

As we walked, I subtly checked her out, looking for a weapon of any kind. I didn't see any telltale bulges, but I could be wrong. Either way, the brunette was making me nervous.

When we went through a hole in the wall, she scoffed at the lack of defense and slowed down. I picked up that she wasn't sure where to go, so I disentangled my arm from her grip and grabbed her hand. I led her to a clearing that wasn't far away from the camp. It had the added bonus of a couple of large rocks that we could sit on and nothing nearby that could be thrown or used to stab someone. I wasn't taking any chances.

"Sit," Raven said, looking at me sternly as she pointed to one of the rocks.

I nervously sat down, setting the bag of pastries at my feet and watched as she sat on the other.

"What's in the bag," Raven asked, curious now.

"Oh, um, breakfast. For you," I said, picking it up and holding it out for her to take. "Um, Lincoln left it for me earlier this morning. There was some milk, but between Octavia and Clarke, I was lucky to get a full cup's worth."

"Lincoln," she asked as she pulled a pastry out.

"The um, Grounder Octavia and I know. He's one of the scouts that have been observing us since we landed. Lincoln's been teaching me how to survive down here—"

"I knew it," Raven said, jumping up and jabbing the pastry at me. "I knew you couldn't have gotten that medkit from a bunker! You got it from him, didn't you?!"

I leaned back and slowly nodded, eyeing her warily, "Uh, yeah. I traded my first deer for it. But I wasn't lying about knowing plants. I just needed help identifying the new mutations."

"So, shit really did change down here, huh," she said and then moaned as she took a bite out of a fruit-filled pastry. "Oh my god, this is the fucking shit! What is this? Is this a fruit?"

I tried not to smile, but seeing the pleasure on her face, I couldn't help it.

"Yeah, it's peach, I think," I said, scratching the back of my head. "At least, I think that's the word Lincoln called it when we had it once before. Lincoln speaks a different language and only knows a bit of English."

"Okay, so let me get this straight," Raven said after she polished off the pastry. "You meet this Grounder, and he just happens to help you out?"

I shook my head, "No. I inadvertently saved his life, which created something his people call a life debt. Lincoln has to hang around me until he can return the favor. I turned it around and got him to agree to teach me about the ground. We've kinda become friends, I guess. When the other scouts told him what happened to me, Lincoln took it upon himself to feed me until I'm better and can hunt again. Which is how we got stew for dinner last night and the pastries this morning."

"If this Lincoln doesn't know our language, how do you two communicate?"

"Drawings, hand gestures, and teaching each other the words in both languages," I replied. "But mostly, it's him demonstrating and then correcting me. No words are really needed."

"Does that mean that the other Grounders are just as friendly or…"

I winced slightly, "Yes, and no. You really should have come last night. I explained it then."

"There were things I needed to do," she countered, staring me down.

I sighed and continued, "The Grounders are made up of different clans. There are twelve of them. Some are peaceful. Some are more bloodthirsty, I guess. The Trikru, or Tree People, own the land we're on. They're mostly made up of warriors but are big on honor and proving your worth. So, if they give their word on something, they're going to honor it. And if you can prove to be useful and not a drain on resources, they don't have a problem with you. But there are exceptions like those with certain disabilities and orphans."

"What does that mean for us," Raven asked.

"It means that there's a chance if we can prove that we're willing to be useful, then they might agree to let us stay," I replied.

"That's not too bad, I guess," Raven replied as she thought. "I take it Clarke and Wells are working on figuring that part out."

I nodded, "Yeah, they are."

"Good. Good," Raven said and then looked at me, "Okay. Fun bit's over. What the hell happened yesterday afternoon? What was that?!"

I sighed, feeling the shame I had pushed aside come back, and dropped my gaze, "I had a nightmare—"

"No, shit," Raven interrupted. "I'm pretty sure your scream could be heard for miles."

"It was," I weakly replied. "And I…when I…woke up, I was still in it. Trapped. It's why I tried to get away from whoever was touching me and backed myself into a corner."

"Harlee, everyone has nightmares, but that was some next level shit," Raven said.

I nodded, feeling weaker as my voice betrayed me with a crack, "I know."

"Harlee, I am trying to understand, but the anger…"

I looked up at her, steeling myself, "Wasn't aimed towards you, Raven. Not directly. I was angry at myself."

"Why?"

One question. One word that carried the weight of an entire life in one syllable. Three letters. And too many answers. There was no simple answer or a simple reason. Nothing that would satisfy enough to leave well enough alone. Only answers that led to more questions. Only a truth that had remained buried and built over yet persisted in cracking and pushing through.

I sighed, and stood up, "I think you need to see something to understand that that question has many answers."

Raven stood as well, "Show me."

I nodded and slowly pulled my shirt over my head. Exposing muscles and marred flesh as I drew it up and over until my upper body lay bare except for my chest covering. Raven's eyes widened at the sight, but I did not know if it was the shape of my body or the flesh that covered it. I stood there silently; my shirt bunched in my fisted hand as Raven's eyes roved over me. I felt vulnerable, and the urge to cover myself once more was great, but I forced that feeling down and waited.

Raven raised a hand as she raised her eyes to gaze into my own, "May I?"

I nodded, "The physical pain has long since passed, Raven. Only their phantoms remain."

We both dropped our gazes as her fingers hovered and danced delicately as they traced white lines that would never fade. My darkened skin was keeping them from hiding. I shivered and tensed as she moved, mapping each line, each pucker. Each scar that was decades old and barely new. As she ghosted over them, my memories supplied when each one occurred and by whose hand. My parents. Training. Bandits. Raiders. Warriors. Assassins. Animals. Rocks. Trees. Even spurned lovers.

My body told the tale of a hard life. Of survival. Stubbornness. Skill. Sheer determination. Luck. It showed a story of defeats and victories. Of stupidity and brilliance. And in its own way, the care and love taken to patch me together. To keep me alive. To keep me fighting for one more day. To keep me from that final Pyre for just a bit longer.

Raven's hand came to a stop on a patch of smooth skin that had somehow remained untouched. It was just over my left breast, where my heart beat its strongest. From her hand, a warmth spread. Soothing and calming my erratic heart and relaxing the muscles that had grown tense. My chest moving Raven's hand with each slow breath I took. It was then that I dared to speak.

My voice low to keep the calm that had invaded me, I said, "I was born different, even more than the genetics that gave me black blood. They refused to accept the truth because the evidence wasn't there. And wouldn't for many years to come. They did everything they could to change my mind, but I remained steadfast and sure of my truth. For three years, I endured it. Then, well, I stopped it."

Raven stayed silent, and I took a slow and deep breath before I continued, "That is what chases me, Raven. For years, it had remained in the deepest, darkest parts of my mind. Silent because I remained silent. Then we came here, and I came across people with similar tales, and I didn't want to feel so alone anymore. But repressed doesn't mean healed, and at my weakest, they chose to strike. Because I chose to open myself without also protecting myself. So, I used anger in an attempt to protect myself. I feel ashamed because I hurt the one person I never want to cause pain."

"Who," Raven whispered after a breath.

"You," I breathed out as I lifted my eyes to see her brown eyes looking at me. "I hurt you, Raven. And for that, I am deeply sorry."

Raven's dark eyes flicked between my own as she searched in them for something. Maybe she looked for the lies beneath the truth, but I knew there were none. The only lie lay in who I truly was in this world. One, I knew that one day soon, I would reveal.

"There's more to this. To you, isn't there," Raven said.

I nodded as I reached up to gently trace her cheek, "Yes, and one day I will be ready to tell you. Can you accept that, my Valkyrie?"

Raven had closed her eyes to my touch, lightly shuddering as I called her that.

"Yes," Raven breathed out.

I smiled softly down at her, "Thank you, Raven."

Not wanting to push, though I so wanted to kiss her, I stepped back, breaking our contact. Raven opened her eyes as I pulled my shirt back on. When it settled, she seemed to take a breath and sit down once more. She patted the rock next to her, inviting me to join her. I did and looked at her expectantly.

Raven studied her hands for a long moment before saying, "I decided to break up with Finn. I did break up with him once he woke up. I wanted to blame myself for what he did, but I listened to you. Finn made the conscious decision to lie and cheat. To hurt everyone he's been with."

She snorted and shook her head, looking up at me, "When Finn woke up, he dared to act like nothing had gone on. As if I hadn't been there when he confronted and attacked you. When I called him out, Finn tried to turn it around and lay blame on everyone else. And it was like for the first time I saw who Finn was. The real Finn behind that boyish charm and carefree attitude. I couldn't believe how blind I had been. So, I broke up with him. That started a whole rant, and it became obvious how possessive and obsessive he is. Seriously, I think he might be a tad obsessed with Clarke with the way he spoke about her."

I frowned, "If you're worried about Clarke and that Finn might try something, we'll make sure she's never alone."

"That…that strangely makes me feel better. I mean, I should be jealous of Clarke. Right? Because Finn and her…Or I should be angry with her, but I'm not."

I slightly smiled, "It's because you realize that Clarke is as much Finn's victim as you are, Raven."

"She is, isn't she," Raven replied, sighing. "I ended up punching him in the face. He just wouldn't stop his crazy ranting, and I got tired of it."

I grinned, "I guess, you really can take care of yourself, huh?"

Raven grinned back, "Damn Skippy, I can."

I frowned, "Skippy? Is that another tv reference?"

Raven laughed, "You know, I really don't know. It's just one of those Old World sayings that seem to have persisted."

I chuckled along with her and then became serious again, "Raven, does this mean we're okay again?"

Raven sighed, "I think I get it. Emotions are messy and aren't prone to follow logic. And when you get overwhelmed by them, I think logic goes away, and you just react. I think you got overwhelmed, and you reacted by lashing out to give yourself distance. You grew up isolated, right?"

I nodded, and she continued, "So, can I guess that when you had these 'bleeding' nightmares that no one was there for you? That you had to get through them alone."

I nodded again, "Yeah. After the first few where I attacked guards who tried to restrain me, they stayed out of my cell until I had exhausted myself, and the episode was over."

"And you never got treatment?"

I shook my head, "No, I didn't. You know they don't have the resources or training to help people who suffer trauma. I mean, do you think most of us would be here if we had gotten proper help?"

Raven sighed, "You're sadly right. And because of the laws, the only time abuse of any kind was found out was when it was loud enough or bad enough to draw the attention of the guard or medical."

"And when it came to children, the Council's not that happy to admit that they fucked up and let an innocent child get hurt," I pointed out, thinking of Charlotte.

Raven nodded, "I guess my point is that because you never had the help to work through the trauma and were left alone when you had these episodes, we'll call them, you began to react the way you had always done so. But this time, you didn't hurt anyone."

"I didn't," I sighed and looked around the clearing to clear my head a bit. "I think it's because none of you tried to crowd me. Even when Wells blocked me from getting to you, he still gave me the space to move. And I think it also helped that I wasn't stuck in a room. I had an exit I could leave out of, and nothing was blocking it. I knew I needed space to calm down, and I needed more than what you and the dropship were giving me. And I also knew on some level that I needed to make sure that I wasn't followed."

"So, you made us scared and angry," Raven said, understanding far better than I'd hoped.

I nodded, "And why, when I calmed, I was immediately regretful."

"And you've shown us that," Raven said. "I'm stubborn, Harlee. When I feel like I've been wronged and hurt, it takes me a while to listen. But I'm listening now, and I hear you. You had some fucked up shit happen to you, and I have no idea how you're even remotely sane, but I get why you acted the way you did. And I forgive you, Harlee."

I felt relief flood through my veins, and a huge weight lift off my chest, hearing those words. I wanted nothing more than to pull her in my arms and hug her tightly. Kiss her until she was breathless because her forgiveness was what I wanted most in this moment.

But I kept myself from doing any of that and replied solely with, "Thank you, Raven. Your forgiveness means a lot to me."

Raven laughed, "I can see you're practically vibrating over there. Does my forgiveness mean that much to you?"

"Yes," I succinctly replied and grinned. "It does. Raven, in the short time we've known each other, you've become important to me. Your opinion matters, and it felt like a physical blow seeing the anger, pain, and sadness in your eyes. Especially knowing that I was the cause of it. That's why I knew I needed to make it right with you, even if it meant losing you as a friend."

"You're saying that if, after this, I never wanted to see you again…"

"I'd stay away unless it were absolutely necessary," I told her truthfully. "But that wouldn't mean that you'd stop being important to me."

"Huh," Raven said, leaning back as she regarded me. "You are definitely different, aren't you?"

I shrugged, "Different isn't always a bad thing, Raven. It's just…different."

"It is, isn't it," she replied quietly and then more firmly, "Come on. We should head back and make sure the Council isn't declaring war on anybody."

I nodded, grabbing the empty bag and standing up. Offering a hand to Raven, I said, "Yes, let's. We've got enough to worry about."

Raven took my proffered hand, and I pulled her to her feet. As we walked back, I made sure to give her space, but somehow she found her way close to me. Close enough to brush arms and fingers as we moved. I said nothing but allowed a small smile spread, happy that I hadn't ruined the possible chance of having something more with Raven. It was still frightening; these feelings that ran rampant within me. But for the first time, I truly felt the truth behind my people's words. That maybe I was worthy of Love after all. And that just perhaps, Raven would show me the way.