Decisions Decisions

Fred and George found Malfoy pacing outside the bar.

"What are you doing out here?" asked Fred in a slightly scolding tone. "Hermione just drank three Long Island iced teas. Do you really think it's a good idea to leave her alone with the competition?"

"You're practically giving him a free pass to go for number four," said George.

"And knowing what we know about Goyle now, probably five and six as well," added Fred, causing Malfoy to noticeably flinch.

"He sure does get a lot done in a night," George mused. "I wonder how he does it?"

Fred shrugged. "Must have excellent time management skills."

"Not to mention excellent skills in the bedroom or should I say the living room, the kitchen and the great outdoors?" George laughed.

Fred's eyes kind of glazed over. "You forgot the Floo. Who would have thought to fuck in the Floo? Genius. Fucking genius."

Malfoy scowled. "Would you two shut up? I came out here so I didn't have to hear about his 'skills' anymore. I don't need you two losers reminding me of it. Who's bright idea was it to give him Veritaserum?"

"Harry's," the twins answered in unison.

"Figures. He's always ruining my life," Malfoy muttered. Stupid Potter.

Fred shrugged. "Harry's a fun sucker."

"Yeah, he only has one thing on his mind," agreed George.

"And it's not the thing Ginny wishes it was," Fred joked.

"Definitely not the type of fun sucker Hermione is." George laughed, nudging Malfoy with his elbow.

"And if that's not incentive enough to get your ass back inside, I don't know what is," said Fred.

"Did we mention she had three Long Island iced teas?" asked George.

"I'm not going back in there until he leaves," Malfoy said stubbornly. He couldn't go back in until Goyle was gone. It was humiliating.

Fred looked at him in shock. "So, you're just going to stand out here and do nothing while Goyle does who knows what with her inside?"

"Are you an idiot?" asked George.

"She shouldn't have invited him," Malfoy insisted angrily. It was a matter of pride.

"She probably only did it to make you jealous. And maybe because of us needing him for the whole killing Voldemort thing," Fred said as an afterthought.

"Probably mostly to get you jealous though," said George.

"Girls are like that," Fred agreed. "Ginny dated half the school to get Harry to notice her."

"And you are kind of oblivious," said George.

"If you haven't noticed, she's kind of pissed at you for the whole refusing to marry her thing," said Fred.

"I said I'd do it, didn't I?" Malfoy grumbled.

"And that's the kind of enthusiasm that doesn't get you laid," George quipped.

"You put up such a fuss about it that she's probably feeling rejected and insecure about herself," Fred lectured knowledgeably. "And now she's looking for validation. Someone to make her feel like the smart, beautiful and desirable woman she is."

"And guess who's probably validating her right now?" asked George.

"Frigging Goyle, that's who," answered Fred.

"Seems like she likes getting validated by Goyle," Malfoy replied bitterly.

"Likes is the key word here," said George. "She likes Goyle, but she lurfs you."

Malfoy didn't reply. He was too busy feeling sorry for himself.

"What happened to fighting for her?" asked Fred.

"Who said I even want to fight for her?" grumbled Malfoy.

"Regulus," answered the twins in unison.

"Blabber mouth," Malfoy muttered.

Fred sighed. "Quit being a coward and go fight. You're going to regret it if you don't."

"What can I do?" asked Malfoy helplessly. "He just fucking told her that he's been in love with her for the past two years. How can I compete with that?"

"How can you not at least try?" asked George. "We know how you really feel about her."

"If you want something, you fight for it," said Fred, "no matter how much the odds are stacked against you. And they are stacked against you. You're already down by three."

Possibly four by now," added George.

"Would you two just go away and leave me alone?" muttered Malfoy sullenly.

Fred looked at his twin and shook his head. "This is worse than I thought. Our pep talk doesn't seem to be working at all."

"I wonder what the real Crabbe and Goyle would do?" said George thoughtfully.

"I'm guessing Crabbe would probably grunt something unintelligible and then go stuff his face at the buffet," said Fred.

"I am feeling kind of hungry," said George, patting his stomach..

"And I think we all know what the real Goyle would do," said Fred, grinning wickedly.

"You leave her alone," Malfoy suddenly growled.

"Why?" Fred prodded. "I didn't think you were up for the competition. I know I'm... up for it."

"Don't push me," Malfoy gritted out, clenching his fists at his side.

"What about me?" asked George. "Do I need to leave her alone, too? Because I could use a little... snack."

"I think we all know you're not any real competition, George. Unlike me who–" began Fred before he was cut off by Malfoy's fist in his face.

"Now, there's the fighting spirit," George quipped. "Crabbe and Goyle are fucking geniuses."

"Ow," Fred replied, holding his hand up to his eye. "What did I do to deserve that? George was the one who mentioned that snack. I thought that was a little below the belt to be honest."

"That was for... for sucking on her nipple and fondling my ass," said Malfoy angrily.

"Oh, did that dream actually happen? I guess I deserved it then," said Fred diplomatically.

"I hope my dream wasn't true," said George, looking a little ill.

"It was," said Malfoy ruthlessly.

George turned a rather sickly shade of green. "Are you ready to go in then? Because I'm going to need another drink."

Malfoy sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. "I don't know," he finally said.

"What's holding you back?" asked Fred. "Is this a confidence thing? I mean, sure Goyle is cool and all."

"And like a total stud," added George.

"Not to mention, he could totally kick your ass," Fred continued.

"And from what we've seen so far," said George, looking down his nose at Malfoy. "He's a hell of a lot smarter than you are."

Malfoy scowled at them.

"But you have something he doesn't have," Fred said with a mischievous glint in his eye.

"Oh, yeah, what?" Malfoy snapped.

"Us," they said in unison.

Malfoy looked at them suspiciously. "You two are going to help... me?"

"Well, we are your slaves for the night," Fred pointed out. "Besides, it just so happens that we are champions of the underdog."

"And trust us, you are the underdog in this situation," said George.

Fred nodded in agreement. "You're taking so damn long to get your head out of your ass that you're probably down by four and a half by now, but we're going to help you even the odds."

"And how are you going to do that without magic?" Malfoy asked skeptically.

"Who said we weren't going to use magic?" asked George.

"Granger–"

Fred rolled his eyes. "We are rule breakers, not rule followers."

"Besides, she can't even follow her own damn rules." George snorted.

Malfoy looked incredulous and at the same time hopeful. "So, you really are going to help me?"

"Goyle's going down." Fred smirked.

George smirked even harder. "Weasley style."

…...

"So, what did I miss?" asked Hermione, sitting back down at the table. "Did Goyle tell you I gave him a blow job at The Three Broomsticks?"

"No," choked Ron, spitting out his drink.

"Oh," said Hermione. "Never mind then."

Goyle smirked.

Unconsciously, she looked around to see what Malfoy's reaction to that smirk would be but couldn't find him anywhere. She thought the twins would have brought him back by now. "Where's Malfoy?"

"Sulking?" guessed Harry.

"Looking for his manhood?" Ron joked.

"Jumping off a bridge?" Goyle suggested, looking very much like he hoped he was right this time.

Suddenly filled with regret, Hermione looked over at Ginny with wide eyes.

"I doubt he's jumping off a bridge," Ginny reassured her in answer to Hermione's fearful look. "However, the other two guesses are probably spot on."

"I shouldn't have invited you, Goyle," said Hermione with remorse in her voice. "This was a bad idea."

"No!" exclaimed Harry, stopping her from saying anything further. '"It was a brilliant idea. We actually had a very productive chat with Goyle while you were gone."

"Yeah, as opposed to reproductive," Ron joked.

"Goyle is on our side. He's going to help us," said Harry.

"I knew you would!" exclaimed Hermione, impulsively throwing her arms around Goyle's neck.

Taking advantage of the situation, Goyle moved in for a kiss.

Forgetting all about asking Goyle to leave, Hermione eagerly accepted his advances. She was already feeling warm from the alcohol and his kisses were setting her skin on fire. After kissing him feverishly for a few minutes, she pulled back and asked a little breathlessly, "You're not just doing it to get in my knickers, are you?"

"No," he replied before smirking at her. "Why? Are you wearing some this time?"

"That is for me to know and for you to find out," she retorted coyly.

"Challenge accepted," replied Goyle, pulling her onto his lap and continuing where he left off.

"Bloody hell," said Ron, ogling the snogging couple. "I don't think they even know we're still here."

"No wonder Malfoy and Mr. Granger were throwing food at them," Harry replied.

Ginny looked at them quizzically.

"We may have also asked him about the mashed potatoes," admitted Harry sheepishly.

Hermione shivered in anticipation as Goyle's fingers slid up her leg in a slow, sexy glide. With sure and steady hands, he reached the smooth, satiny material of her knickers and was hooking his finger in them to claim his prize when Hermione felt him stiffen underneath her.

"Fred!"

"Still calling out other blokes names?" Fred joked. "That's a very nasty habit you have, Hermione."

Scowling at Fred, Hermione carefully extricated herself from Goyle's lap. Noticing where Malfoy was staring, she tugged her dress back down to cover up her knickers.

George elbowed Malfoy and whispered loudly, "Looks like we weren't too late after all."

Malfoy scowled at George but then turned his scowl on Hermione. "Having fun, Granger?"

Hermione had the decency to blush. "We were just, um, all celebrating. Goyle has agreed to help. Isn't that great news?"

"Yeah, great news," Malfoy repeated, not sounding like it was all that great. "And did Potter and Weasel give him a lap dance as well?"

"Oh, well, I'm not sure," said Hermione. "I was in the ladies' room for a while."

"The answer is we didn't!" snapped Ron.

"Well, how would I know that?" Hermione huffed. "I was in the ladies' room."

"This is all your fault," said Ron, scowling at Malfoy. "You should have told her she was drinking alcohol. Now we have to put up with all of her crazy shit all night. You were just being selfish because you thought you might get laid."

"Oh, yeah?" sneered Malfoy. "And why didn't you tell her?"

"Because... because," Ron sputtered, getting red in the face. "Because I don't care anymore. I'm over her. In fact," he continued in a voice, dripping with poison, "it didn't affect me at all when she blurted out that she gave Goyle a blow job."

"Other than choking on your drink," muttered Ginny under her breath, rolling her eyes.

"You gave Goyle a blow job!" Malfoy fumed, turning on Hermione again.

"Well, I gave you one as well," said Hermione as though that made all of the difference.

Not having anything to say to that, Malfoy sat back down in his chair and took a large gulp of his drink.

Hermione sat down in the chair next to him and placed her hand on his arm. "It wasn't tonight, you know. It was before... us."

"There is no 'us', Granger. There's you and everybody that shows even the slightest interest in you," said Malfoy coldly, paying more attention to his drink than her.

"You're right," said Hermione, starting to get angry. "There is no 'us' because you are always pushing me away. And if you're not pushing me away, you're running away. You, Draco Malfoy, are a coward. And that is why Goyle has fucked me three times and you haven't at all!"

Total silence followed that speech until Ginny finally said, "Speaking of Goyle, shouldn't somebody unfreeze him. People are starting to stare."

A drunk guy over at the next table kept blinking his eyes in a crazy fashion, trying to clear his vision. When Goyle still didn't move, the man shook his head and went back to drinking.

They all glanced over at Goyle who looked very much like a statue snogging air. Hermione couldn't help thinking he looked very artistic and sexy. Fred cast a Finite, and Goyle came to looking a little confused. His eyes finally settled on Malfoy though, and muttering some curse words under his breath, sat back in his chair with a resigned look on his face.

"Sorry Goyle," said Fred, smirking a bit. "We think you're a great bloke and all, but George and I are Team Malfoy, and you're going down. No hard feelings though."

Goyle smirked back. "None taken. I'm sure Malfoy could use all of the help he can get."

Malfoy only scowled into his drink.

"You're a cool dude, Goyle," said George. "After we win and set up Malfoy and Hermione, we should totally hang out together. Pick up chicks or whatever."

"Maybe," replied Goyle. "If you win."

"Oh, we'll win," said Fred. "We always win."

"Except for when Malfoy has won," pointed out George. "Remember we are his slaves at the moment."

"Oh, yeah," said Fred. "I've been having so much fun doing his bidding, I keep forgetting. Well, we're on his team this time, so we'll win either way."

"Unless I win," said Goyle, smirking again.

"I'm betting on Goyle," Ron announced loudly, sending a glare toward Malfoy.

"I can't decide," said Ginny. "How about you, Hermione? Can you decide?"

"I don't know," Hermione replied haughtily. "I'm not even sure there is a decision to make anymore. Malfoy said he was no longer interested."

"I never said that!" Malfoy snapped. "I said that I was one of many who was interested."

"Oh," said Hermione brightly, studying him closely. "So, you are interested then?"

"Yes!"

"Hmmm, maybe I better make a list after all." Hermione took a piece of note paper and a pen out of her purse and started writing.

"What are you doing?" asked Malfoy.

"At dinner, Mum made me make a list to help me decide between the two of you. I thought it was stupid at the time, but now that I've had a few drinks, I think it sounds like a really good idea. I'm just writing down the pros we already came up with and then I can add to it from there. If there is anything to add," she said, giving him a pointed look.

"What does it say?" asked Malfoy, warily.

"The pros for Goyle are that he's a stallion, has some nerve and wears gravy well," Hermione said, reading off the list.

Malfoy snorted.

Goyle glared at him. "I bet your list doesn't have stallion on it."

"No," agreed Hermione. "Malfoy's pros are that he has a nice ass, is very confident and has pretty pink hair."

Goyle laughed.

"Oh, dear," said Hermione looking at her list. "This really isn't accurate anymore." She crossed off pretty pink hair and looked at Malfoy. "I guess you're down by one."

Malfoy scowled. "Well, put something else down."

"It was really hard coming up with that list as it is. I'll have to think about it. Oh!" she said, thinking of something and writing it down.

"What did you write?" asked Malfoy eagerly.

"I put down 'helpful' for Goyle. I guess you're down by two now, Malfoy," Hermione replied.

Malfoy scowled again. "Weasel twits, get your heads out of your asses and give her some pros to write down," he ordered.

"Uhhhh," said Fred, trying to think of something. "He's in lurf with you?"

Hermione wrote down 'lurf' under Malfoy's name, and then after pausing only a minute, put down 'love' under Goyle's name. "I think I have to weight love a little more, so now you're down by two and half, Malfoy.

Malfoy scowled at Fred and then turned on his brother. "What about you, Weasel number two? What did you come up with?"

"Ummmmm," said George, thinking. "Malfoy is kind of... smart?"

Tapping her pen against her chin, Hermione thought about it for a while and then finally agreeing with that assessment, wrote down 'smart' under Malfoy's name. Pausing again, she then added 'smarter' under Goyle's name. Now, you're down by three, Malfoy."

Angrily, grabbing the list, Malfoy crumbled it up and threw it across the room.

"Now, how am I supposed to decide?" Hermione whined.

"Think of something else!" Malfoy snapped.

"Well," said Hermione, her eyes starting to twinkle mischievously. "I did come up with an idea when I was in the ladies' room. It's always been kind of a fantasy of mine. I would love it if you both..."

Malfoy's eye's widened in shock and Goyle finished off his drink in one gulp.

"Sing to me," finished Hermione, smiling at them.