A/N—Hey guys! To those who messaged to check on me, thank you for caring. I really am fine, just been working a lot and it's more stressful than usual so my creativity has run dry. I'm sorry I haven't posted in so long, but I haven't been writing either. I was finally able to start writing again last week (not a whole lot, but it's something!) so I'm going to try to get back to my regular posting schedule. I hope you're all healthy and safe and doing what you can to stay that way!

As a refresher, the last chapter ended with them all discussing their future plans during lunch. Kendall ran out after saying too much and then Carlos ran after him. This chapter picks up where that left off. Thank you so much for reading!

Logan's sandwich was gone by the time James returned, alone. He was grinning. "Dude, I'm so sorry you missed that. It's the best thing I've ever seen." He dropped into his chair and reached for what was left of the slice of pizza he'd bought at the cafeteria.

"Did Carlos tell him?"

"He freaking ran into the bathroom, like at full speed. Almost hit me with the door when he opened it. He was like 'Kendall!' Just screamed his name looking for him, then he saw Kendall and planted one on him. What's funny is that I told Kendall last night he should do that, just kiss Carlos without warning, but Carlos is the one who did it!"

Logan remembered the text from last night and smiled. "I'm assuming Kendall kissed him back?"

"Once he realized what was happening, yeah. It was so sudden. And then he stopped it and goes, 'Wait, does this mean you like me? I thought it was just me.' Carlos is like 'You're an idiot, you should've told me!' Then they kissed again. That's when I left."

Letting out a sigh, Logan said, "Well, that's a relief. Took them long enough."

"Just how long have they felt this way?"

"I don't know, but I figured it out my first night here. When I met Kendall at the party. He was kind of rude to me because I was a threat."

James waved a dismissive hand. "He's always like that with the new foster kids. One really messed with Carlos, tried to have him arrested. So Kendall makes sure they know we have Carlos' back."

"He did that," Logan nodded. "But I could also tell he was afraid of losing Carlos. That's how I knew."

James wiped his mouth with a napkin after popping the last bit of crust into his mouth. "You know...this is weird. It's all so weird."

"How so?"

"It feels like overnight I have a boyfriend and they're together..." At a look from Logan he added, "Not that you're my boyfriend. I'm just saying...four months ago we were normal. Then Mom got diagnosed and everything since then has been so...different. My life will never be normal again."

"I know." Logan reached out for James' hand, which was on his thigh. "I'm sorry. I guess it's just part of growing up. Things change."

"It's not all bad changes. I mean, I have you now. And they'll be happier together. Carlos won't be so scared about the future, and Kendall will find a way to stay with him. Or take him along. It's just so much to deal with all at once. Plus the whole Mom thing..."

"Yeah."

James was quiet for a minute before saying, "I'm glad I'm not alone. As long as I have you, even as a friend, I'll be okay. Just don't...leave."

"Right here, James."

Their eyes met and Logan felt that pull again, the one that acted like a magnet between them whenever they kissed. He wanted that now. James' mind was clearly in the same place. This was going to be harder than Logan thought, because James was right in that once you knew it was mutual, it was more difficult to resist.

"So we have an announcement!"

Thank God for the arrival of Carlos and Kendall to break up that temptation. Logan let go of James' hand and turned to wait for Carlos to continue. Kendall stood just behind him, an arm around Carlos' waist.

"I have a boyfriend!" Carlos shared, face beaming.

Kendall rolled his eyes. "That's not exactly what I said."

"Please, what else are we? We're best friends who make out."

"It was one kiss, Carlos."

"Three, Kendall. Your mom's right, you really are bad at math."

Kendall smacked his arm before pushing him toward the chair he'd vacated earlier. "Sit down and eat your sandwich." They were both seated before Kendall said, "And James, stop smiling at me like that. You were right, okay? Big deal."

"It is a big deal," James grinned. "My best friends are in love. It's awesome. Just so you know, you won't have to hide it from my mom. She's apparently on board with that sort of thing."

"We're not gonna hide it from anyone," Kendall stated. "I don't like pretending to be something I'm not, and I'm not ashamed of Carlos. But even if I was, Carlos can't keep a secret for anything."

"I can, too!" Carlos argued. "I mean, if it's really juicy, then no. No way. And...yeah, this is a big one so okay, you're right."

Kendall smirked. "Exactly. But first we'll need to tell our parents. Carlos says that's not an issue for him, because Logan already told them about himself?"

"Really?" James asked in surprise. "When?"

"Last night. Sylvia and I talked on the way home from your house. She doesn't know about our feelings for each other, but she does know that I'm gay. She said she and Papi love me anyway and I know that will be the case with Carlos, as well."

"Huh," James mused. "That's good. So it's just Mama Knight we have to worry about? And Katie?"

"Are you kidding?" Carlos scoffed through a chewed mess of turkey and bread. "Katie loves me! Mama Knight does, too!"

Kendall shook his head. "Carlos, it might be different once she knows you're more than a friend. James says she'll probably be okay with it, but I don't know. It's scary. Imagine if Logan hadn't had that talk with your mom. How scared would you be?"

"Terrified," Carlos admitted. "Are you saying you don't want them to know?"

"No, for all the reasons I just said. I'm not ashamed, I don't like to pretend, and you can't keep a secret anyway. I'll talk it over with them tonight. Or mom, at least. Katie...I'll have to figure out how to go about that. But until then, can we play it cool? Don't say or do anything in front of your mom because she might tell mine before I have a chance to."

"Okay. What are we doing after school? Logan's going to James' house. We don't have hockey. Want to go make out in my room? Mom will be at work until five."

Kendall's mouth moved before he could find words. "Look, I've been wanting this for a long time, but it's all kind of new to me. Can we just...see how it goes? Not just jump right into the making out?"

James stifled a laugh. When Kendall glared at him, he said, "Dude, sorry. I just know what it's like, and once you guys are alone and kissing, you'll change your mind on that."

"Maybe, but for now it's all new and I don't even like talking about it. Carlos, why don't we look into the financial aid thing after school? We can do our homework, like really do it and not get distracted by games, because we need you to graduate for this to work. Then we'll research and see what our options are."

Carlos nodded. "Can we kiss at least once before Mom gets home?"

"I'm not gonna say no to that."

They grinned at each other just as the bell rang. Logan jumped up in surprise. "I didn't realize it was that late. James, where are we meeting after school?"

"I'll come to your locker. We can all walk home together, right?"

The plan was agreed upon. After packing up their belongings, Kendall leaned down to peck a kiss to Carlos' lips. "See you after school."

"Man, I'm really gonna love being your boyfriend. Can we hold hands?"

"Not yet." Kendall did wind an arm over Carlos' shoulders, though, to lead him out of the library. "We'll all meet at Logan's locker!" he called back.

"Sounds good." Logan turned to James, stopping himself from the kiss that almost happened because it felt natural now. "Sorry."

James shrugged. "It's not like I wasn't thinking the same thing. How about I just walk you to class instead?"

"Deal," Logan grinned. They moved toward the exit. "It was weird actually sitting by you in biology today. Having a conversation."

"Awesome though, right?"

"Very much so. It was also nice to see you paying attention to Mrs. Simmons. You even got the answer right when she called on you."

"Hey, I listen sometimes." After a moment he added, "What she was talking about today was actually interesting."

"It's all interesting, James. You just have to open your mind. The human body is fascinating."

James leaned closer to whisper, "Well, I know yours is."

Logan elbowed him but laughed. They may not be able to touch, but what harm could a little flirting do?

What Logan learned after an hour of studying at the Diamond home was that a little flirting when alone could lead to "maybe one kiss is okay" and "well, maybe just one more" until they were caught by Brooke.

"Hey!" she yelled when catching sight of them with their lips glued together at the dining room table. "I thought this was study time!"

They jumped apart, both turning red while Logan cleared his throat. "And I thought you were the one telling me to take things further with him."

"Don't twist my words, Logan, that's not what I said. I need my son to graduate. And didn't you say you two agreed to be just friends?"

"Right. We did. That was...it wasn't supposed to happen."

Brooke smirked at them, not having to vocalize her "I told you it wouldn't last" thoughts out loud. "I'm ordering us Mexican for dinner. Logan, is there anything you don't eat?"

"I'll try anything. James and Carlos are opening up my palate, so to speak. But food that's too spicy gives me heartburn."

"Wimp," James muttered as he copied notes from his textbook.

"I have the same problem these days," Brooke sighed. "I know just what to order for us. How does six sound?"

"Perfect, that gives us two hours to make it through homework and get started on James' project."

"You're doing a project?" Brooke asked. "For which class?"

The "project" was him learning about cancer. Not wanting to admit that, James answered, "Biology." It wasn't a lie. "Mom, can we talk after dinner? Like...really talk?"

She sobered but nodded. "Yes. I think that's a good idea. Logan, are you leaving after dinner?"

"If you want me to, I will."

James interrupted. "No, he's not leaving until nine. He promised."

"James, it's fine," Brooke assured him. "I think that's best. I'm going to place the order for dinner and then nap, I'm tired today. Can you boys get the food when it's delivered and wake me up?"

"Absolutely. You go up and rest, Brooke." Logan could tell just how tired she was by the fact that she didn't scold him for mothering her. Without asking, he followed her to the staircase and let her lean on him while they climbed it.

"Thank you," she said softly once they reached the top. "I'm fine."

Logan waited until she'd gone into her bedroom and closed the door, then turned to find James at the bottom of the steps. "Is she okay?"

"Just really tired. It's normal with cancer, and especially after a chemo treatment. Did she have that today?"

"Maybe. I didn't ask."

"We'll need to know her treatment schedule so we can be here for her when she needs us. Because she won't ask."

"Yeah."

James' thoughts turned inward, his arms wrapping around his stomach. Logan rushed down the stairs to settle an arm over his shoulders. "She's okay. She just needs rest."

"It's not going to get any better, is it? Like how she is now...she won't ever be better. Only worse."

"She'll have her good and bad days. We'll talk about it after homework, okay? Let's get through that and then we can focus on this. And no more kissing."

James offered him a wan smile. "Yes, Professor Mitchell."

For some reason, that term coming from James Diamond's mouth jolted Logan. It reminded him of where he came from and who he was before all of this. Sometimes that all felt like a dream. Now it was real, though, and he was a former professor who was teaching the man he'd learned everything from. It made his head hurt to think about it.

It's fine, Logan. You're doing the right thing. Just get James interested in microbiology and genetic engineering. He'll take it from there.

Because there was a lot to take in, they studied the basics of breast cancer and the different types of treatments rather than go too deep. Logan's knowledge of Brooke's condition was limited to her date of death and not much else, as James had kept (or would keep) the details private upon her passing. Brooke herself had informed James that it was breast cancer before deciding she didn't want to discuss it further and cutting off any questions he might come up with.

Logan could see that it was all overwhelming to James, especially the medical terminology, and helped explain what he could in plain English as it related to Brooke. It still amazed him that he had to explain it that way to a man who would soon become a genius on the matter, but he was here to guide James and that's what he did.

Dinner was a pleasant affair, with James sharing details about his day (minus the Kendall and Carlos development) when asked to by Brooke. Over chicken enchiladas with a sour cream sauce, Logan also contributed to the discussion about school and what each of them was studying in class. She was overjoyed to hear they shared biology, because "that way Logan will know if you're bullshitting him about homework that needs to be done." James took offense, reminding her that his goal was to graduate and it wouldn't help the cause to deceive the one person devoted to aiding him in that. Logan quickly agreed.

As Brooke pushed her plate away with only about a third of it eaten, James asked, "Not hungry?"

"Not really."

He'd read earlier that loss of appetite was a side effect of chemotherapy. Assuming Brooke had been through that today, James tried, "So...how was your day?"

She shrugged while reaching for a glass of water. "Just like every other Monday since I stopped working."

"Which tells me nothing, since I don't know anything about your schedule," James pointed out. He set down his fork and leaned back in the chair. "Did you do chemotherapy today?"

Brooke licked her lips, not wanting to have this discussion but knowing it was necessary. She nodded.

"How often do you do that?"

"Once a week. Usually on Monday."

"And it's uh...breast cancer?" Logan pressed. He was trying to get the ball rolling so they could move past this stilted and awkward conversation to a real discussion.

"It is," Brooke confirmed.

"Um..." James cleared his throat, uncomfortable. Logan had purposely taken the chair next to him rather than across, knowing James would need him within reach. He settled his hand over James' now to urge him on. "So...I was reading...we were reading...that if the tumor isn't too big, they can remove it with surgery."

"That's true."

They waited for more, but Brooke left it at that. James was stuck, so Logan took over. "Is that not an option for you? How advanced is it?"

Brooke suddenly stood from the table and moved toward the kitchen. Logan could see that she was moving with difficulty and trying not to show it; maybe they should've done this another night.

"Mom!" James called out. "Don't you dare run, we need to talk about this!"

"Relax, James, I'm coming right back."

"Hey," Logan whispered. "Go easy on her. She's had a rough day."

"I know, but...we need to know these things."

"We will. Just...let her take it at her own pace."

When she returned, it was with a glass of wine. Logan said, "Uh, Brooke, I'm not sure that's a good idea right now. Alcohol can interfere with the treatment."

"Logan, it's the only way I'm going to sleep tonight. As tired as I am, my nerves are shot and I won't be able to without this. My doctor, my actual doctor—as opposed to the one who insists on giving me medical advice without invitation—said as long as I keep it to a minimum, I'm allowed a glass of wine occasionally. On this occasion, I need it." To prove her point, she took a swallow and closed her eyes.

James jumped to Logan's defense. "Mom, it's because he cares. Trust me, I know it's annoying when he won't shut up and tries to help, but he cares. No offense, Logan."

Logan was too amused to be offended. "It's true. I care. Are you ready for real talk now?"

She took a smaller sip this time before setting down the glass. "No, but let's get this over with." After taking a breath, she stated, "I have stage four breast cancer. It is terminal. The chemotherapy is more to make me comfortable than to cure it, because I refuse to die until I know my son has his shit together. Eventually the pain will become too great and I'll add radiation to the mix, but that won't work forever either. For now, I go in for treatment once a week and it gets me through until the next time. It also makes me sick for a few days, which is why I hide in my bedroom as much as I can during that time. Not that you'd notice, since you're never here."

The last part was said without reproach; Brooke wasn't attacking James for that, only making a point. James ignored that anyway because he was shocked by other things she'd said. "Stage four? Did you say stage four? But that means it's meta...meta..."

"Metastasized," Logan offered.

"Yeah. That. It's moved to another part of your body, right? How is that even possible, Mom? How could you not know something was wrong before it got that bad?"

Logan replied, "Sometimes people don't know, James. There aren't always signs before it gets to that point. Some people don't get diagnosed until it's reached that stage."

James shook his head. "No, that's not...everything we read, there are signs. With breast cancer, there are signs. Were you not getting annual check-ups? Didn't your doctor do breast exams?" Brooke looked away. "Mom, I know you worked all the time, but...did you really not ever see a doctor?"

Another sip of wine fortified Brooke. She asked, "Do you remember that retreat I went to when you were younger? You stayed at Kendall's for two weeks?"

"What?" Obviously having no idea what that had to do with any of this, James stared at her like she was losing her mind. "The retreat? What are you even talking about?"

"Do you remember that, James? You said I hadn't gotten enough sun and looked pale when I came back."

James blinked a few times. "I...guess? I was in like sixth grade?"

"Right," Brooke nodded. "I lied, James. I wasn't at a retreat. I was having a breast removed. That was the first time I had cancer."

Logan's head fell back in resignation. He knew James wasn't going to handle this well.

James sat in silence, a stunned expression on his face before he shook his head again. "No. That's impossible. You have two of them!"

"One's fake."

"What?" James actually laughed in disbelief. "Mom, come on, I'm not stupid. I think I'd know if—"

Brooke deftly reached inside the collar of her sweater and came out with a flesh-colored prosthetic breast. She tossed it onto the table. James gasped and backed his chair away fast as if it was alive.

"What the fuck, Mom? What the fuck?!"

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you, but you were too young to understand."

"No." James was staring at the table in horror. His gaze moved to his mother's sweater, where one side of her chest was now flat. "Mom...no. No. How the fuck did you hide this from me?"

"It's not like I ever undress in front of you. I'm extremely careful. I hoped you'd never have to know."

Logan reached out for James, but he wasn't having it. He stood up and paced away from the table to put distance between himself and the proof of his mother's betrayal. "I don't...I can't...did they know? Jennifer and Kendall...have they lied to me all these years?"

"No. Baby, no, nobody knew. Not even work. I could've just had the tumor itself removed but that wouldn't guarantee the cancer was gone. I needed something permanent so I could get back to work without worrying it would come back."

"Well, guess what, Mom? It's not gone! It's right fucking here again!"

Logan couldn't take watching James falling apart. He rose from the table to embrace James, who was shaking and taking shallow breaths. "Hey," Logan whispered. "It's okay. She's okay."

"It's not okay! My mom fucking lied to me all these years!"

Brooke sighed. "James...baby please, listen to me. Try to understand that I didn't want to upset you or worry you. I took care of the problem, there was no need for you to know."

"But you didn't, Mom!" James yelled. He broke away from Logan. "Because it's never completely gone, I read that today! There's always a chance it'll come back! Were you getting examined regularly?"

"Yes. Every year, James. I can't help that it came back. I hoped it was done." Her composure fell, eyes welling up with tears. "I didn't want this to happen. I don't want to die on you."

Her tears were enough to break through James' anger. His own eyes misted over and his bottom lip trembled. "Mom..." He knelt next to her chair, pressing his face to her stomach. She held him tight, bending her head to his.

"I'm sorry, baby. I should've told you, should've prepared you for this. It was just easier to forget about it. And then my back started hurting, remember I was having all that pain..."

"Oh my god," James choked out. "That was cancer?"

Logan had moved to James' abandoned chair and pulled it back to the table. He laid a hand on James' back and asked, "It's in the spine?"

"Yes," Brooke managed. "There's no way to..."

No, there wouldn't be. Maybe if this was a first-time tumor in that area, but one that had spread and come back more aggressively...Logan didn't think there was a way to get that out without damaging the spine. "Brooke, I'm so sorry."

James was sobbing into her lap now. Logan rubbed his back. "How long?" James asked.

Logan spoke up. "We can't really know, James." It was a lie, Logan did know.

"Mom...how long?"

"They said a year at the most. It's possible to live longer, but...once the pain gets that bad..."

James lost all semblance of control then. His body heaved as he cried. Logan shoved the chair away again and moved in behind him, doing his best to hold James while Brooke did the same. Nothing was said for a long time, but the sound of James' sobs tore Logan's heart out. He backed up when James lifted his head and reached for a napkin, then handed one to Brooke as well. Both faces were red and splotchy, matching hazel eyes swollen.

"James...can you forgive me? For keeping this from you? For refusing to talk about it and shutting you out?"

It wasn't something James would get over easily, but he nodded. He was mature enough to know it wasn't worth holding a grudge when time was running out. "I'm sorry I've been gone so much. It's so hard to look at you sometimes and know you won't always be here."

"It's hard for me, too. I'm so scared for you, worried that you'll be alone and turn into an angry, bitter man."

"Neither of those things will happen," Logan promised.

"Logan, I'm so glad you're here." Brooke reached out to hug him, James moving out of the way to stand on legs that had stiffened up. "Take care of my baby."

"I already said I would. We're here for you. Every step of the way, we're right here. We won't let you die alone."

More composed now, James took the chair. "Tell me what you need from me. From us."

"I just need you to take care of yourself. Make your dreams come true. Be happy."

"No, Mom. On a daily basis, how can we help? I don't want to miss this stuff anymore, I want to be with you through all of it."

"I was trying to spare you," Brooke sighed. "You don't need to see me in pain."

"And you don't need to be alone through your pain," James countered. "What time are your appointments?"

"I have a lot these days. Chemo once a week, and I see my oncologist every other. My primary doctor once a month."

"We didn't read up a lot about what the chemo is like. How does that work?"

Logan moved to his original chair while Brooke answered. "It's an IV. It takes about an hour, I just sit in the room and read or watch a show to pass the time."

"Does it hurt?" James needed to know. "Don't lie to me."

"The treatment itself is painless. It's the aftermath that's tough. But that passes and I have a few good days where it's all tolerable. Then the cycle repeats."

James nodded. "So I'm gonna learn how to drive and I'm going to take you for that every week. In the meantime, I'll just go with you."

Brooke protested, "No James, you can't keep missing school, you've already—"

Logan silenced her with, "You had the same idea, Brooke. You said you enjoyed having his company so much that you would consider keeping him home one day a week for that."

Brooke glared at him. "Thank you for keeping our discussion confidential, Dr. Mitchell."

Logan smiled, undeterred. "I have a license. I'll be driving you both. I just maybe need a refresher course because it's been a long time since I've been behind the wheel." And there was also the fact that he'd never driven a current model of car.

"Mom, you can teach us together. On your good days, we can go out for an hour before dinner or something. I mean, Logan could teach me once he's good. Then I'll get a license too and we could—"

"Okay!" Brooke held up her hands in surrender. "Fine, you can drive me to chemo once a week. But Logan, Sylvia is not going to allow you to miss school every week. I can promise you that."

"What time are the appointments?" Logan asked.

"In the afternoon."

"Then I'll just miss a half day or something. She might not be happy but I think she'll understand."

"And Mom, you can schedule the other appointments later in the afternoon so we can take you after school."

"Boys, you have enough to worry about with graduation coming up and finals and—"

"You come first," James stated. "Logan's a genius, he'll make sure I still get my schoolwork done and pass my tests. We're a team, okay? Not just him and me, but all of us. We'll make it work."

"Oh, you boys and your blind optimism. It's nauseating." Brooke reached for the wine.

James smirked. "Nope, that's just the chemo."

The fact that James was able to joke now showed Logan that he was going to be okay. Brooke swatted his shoulder lightly. "Can I go to bed now? Or are you going to talk me to death?"

"Blame Logan, he's the talker. This is all his fault. Without him, we'd still just be ignoring each other and pretending everything's fine."

"Thanks a lot, Logan," Brooke said sarcastically. Then she smiled and said more gently, "But seriously. Thank you, Logan."

"It's what I'm here for. Don't even think about cleaning up dinner, we got this."

"Good, because all I want to do is collapse into bed."

James stood up. "Here, let me help."

Logan picked up the dishes and left them to it. He heard them laugh as they traversed the stairs, and his heart lifted.

One more step taken on the road to James' destiny.