A/N: Hi!

Wow! A chapter, so soon after the last? Clearly the world must be ending.

Nah. I just felt like posting. I figure it's best to post when I feel the inspiration to, than try and wait for specific days or times, or distance between chapters, or... whatever. The planets aligning or some such nonsense.

Like usual, I didn't edit this chapter, so let me know if there are any noticeable mistakes. This chapter is mostly Gaius and Arthur bonding, which I always adore. I love Gaius, truly. For some reason I added another summary at the end of this chapter, when I wrote it in April, and I still have no idea why. I think because there are some awkward moments? I don't know.

Anyway, thanks for the kind reviews! They definitely helped with my motivation to post. I'm glad that the attraction doesn't seem unnatural. I mostly just imagine what I think attraction would feel like, if I ever felt it, and go from there. Plus, what I've seen or read in stories. So I'm glad that it seems to be working!

Enjoy!

Leaving Merlin alone in a time like this was harder than it had any right to be, Arthur felt, stomach churning as Merlin walked off, head held high and shoulder back as he went to follow his father's orders. He should be beside him, Arthur privately thought. Through everything. Even this.

But that was probably not a good thought. After all, everyone needed space sometimes. You can't be around someone twenty-four hours a day. It was not possible. Or if it were, it would get tiresome very fast.

So, despite not wanting to, Arthur didn't complain as Merlin left. He just watched him go and hoped that he'd be able to help him when they saw one another after Merlin had finished his task.

It was still concerning to him that he felt so much. So deeply. He had no idea if it was love, magic, or maybe their bond. And, if it was their bond, was it real? If he was being made to feel this way because he and Merlin were bound for all time, did that make his feelings real, or were they just a byproduct of being bound?

He didn't know. And the more he thought on it, the more his head ached. Perhaps he could use this time to do something productive, he mused, finally moving from the spot he'd been left in when Merlin walked away.

Arthur couldn't help but smile as he entered the physician's quarters, the older man puttering around as he made a potion. He was so involved that he didn't hear Arthur walk in. Grinning only a little meanly, Arthur entered the room on silent feet and recognized the potion Gaius was working on. A non-magical herbal remedy for blisters. It seemed he was halfway through, given the citrusy scent, meaning he had already added the lemon. That meant the next ingredient was…

"Coconut oil?" Arthur asked innocently, holding out the ingredient with a carefully innocent face. He fought to keep his face neutral when Gaius gasped, spinning around so dramatically Arthur was almost afraid. Then Gaius clutched his heart and Arthur actually was almost afraid (after all, the man was sixty, which was very old. Not many people lived passed fifty, though Gaius did have magic, which usually made people live longer.)

"Don't do that!" Gaius chided, though he grabbed the ingredient with a mild glare. Arthur just grinned, eyes wide and innocent. Like he was asking, who, me?

"Don't help you out? But Gaius! I'm your apprentice! My job is to help you out!"

He said it over exaggeratedly, putting a hand to his chest in mock offense. Gaius just rolled his eyes, but Arthur could see the fond smile creeping up on his aged face. Assured the old man wouldn't have a heart attack on him, Arthur grinned, pleased his sneak attack had worked.

"Funny. And here I was thinking your job was as Merlin's manservant. Speaking of, where is the young prince? He was incredible during Court today. You'd have been proud, had you seen him."

Really? Arthur felt a rush of pride fill him, though he had no idea why. Gaius was praising Merlin, not him. Why would he feel pride on Merlin's behalf? Hm. Odd.

"Actually… that's something I wanted to talk to you about," Arthur started, slowly, before stopping. It was easy to think that he should tell Gaius about his raging emotions and ask what they meant. It was another thing altogether to actually get the words out now that he was here. Oh, don't get him wrong, he adored Gaius. The only person he trusted more was Merlin, or perhaps his own mother. Over the past nearly two years, Gaius had grown to become like a father to him, nurturing him into the man he was today. If there was anyone that he could ask about his feelings without feeling mortified, it would be the older man.

It still didn't help the lingering sense of embarrassment, though. He'd been keeping his emotions hidden for so long, forcing them down into almost nonexistence; it was hard to willingly bring them up. But if he didn't want to spend the rest of his life fearing the breadth of his own feelings, he'd have to deal with the mortifying ordeal that it was of being known. Hm. Decisions.

"Did something happen?" Gaius questioned, putting down his salve and looking at Arthur with worried eyes. Ah, shit. He'd waited too long and had worried Gaius. Oops.

Waving his hand, he shook his head.

"No, no. He's fine. We're both fine. I was just… well. I was just concerned. About, well. Things."

Gaius raised The Dreaded Eyebrow of Doom, before adding one last ingredient to his salve mixture. Arthur knew it was the last ingredient before he had to let it rest for thirty minutes, then stir a few times and add more oil. Huh. Seemed he'd learned a lot more about medicine than expected in the past couple years. Who'd have thunk it?

"Things, hm? Sounds serious," Gaius stated, tone dry, though he walked over to the hearth and gestured for Arthur to sit in the chair beside him. Heart pounding for no good reason, Arthur did as requested and sat, his body suddenly wound tight and taut.

Okay. It should not be this difficult to talk about feelings. Girls did it all the time! It wasn't hard. If a girl could do it, so could he. He was a man. Men talked about feelings. Sometimes. Right?

Right.

Okay. Here went nothing. Open up his mouth and let words flow out. Any second now. Aaaannnyyy second...

The seconds passed by insanely slowly as Arthur sat and tried to force his mouth to work. But no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't force the words he wanted to say out. How did one tell their honorary father that they were in love with a prince and had no idea how to go about knowing if the feelings were real or not? It was embarrassing! He was a couple months shy of twenty-three. He should be able to know what his own feelings were. He shouldn't have to ask what love was, or what it felt like, or if it was supposed to hurt so badly. While, simultaneously, feeling so incredible and wondrous he barely remembered how to breathe when he was around Merlin. His whole heart pounding just from a simple brush of the skin… his mind pleasantly numb as he stared into deep, blue eyes… his breath ragged and unsteady after seeing a quirk of the lips… like. Who said that kind of thing? It was embarrassing.

"Arthur," Gaius said softly, looking at him over his thin glasses. Arthur felt his hand clench, heart pounding as Gaius stared at him, like he could see deep into his heart and knew what Arthur wasn't saying. God. He hated this.

He felt a gentle hand land on top of his clenched fist and started so badly he almost dislodged it. But Gaius was prepared and just held on tight, carefully peeling his fist back and holding the hand carefully in his own. Like it was precious metal.

He'd held Merlin's hand not an hour before. It was soft, so very soft. Barely any calluses. Almost dainty, though Arthur had felt the power rushing below the surface.

Christ. He was screwed.

He saw Gaius open his mouth, but whatever he had been about to say was lost as Arthur blurted out the words that he had kept inside for over a year now.

"I think I'm in love with Merlin."

The words hung in the air, like steam. Or something. His mind had stopped working and he could barely think as time slowed, his heart pounding, breath ceasing. Oh, God. Ohhhhhhh, fuck. He'd actually said the words.

He'd never said it aloud, before. Not even to himself. He knew it. Of course, he knew it, that's why he was doing this whole goddamn thing. But it wasn't until he'd said it that he realized how deep the feelings ran. How all-encompassing it was. How real it was. He was in love with Merlin. He was in love with Merlin. Oh. God. Fuck. Shit. Damn. More curses that could portray how terrified he felt. Heck. Crap.

He could distantly see mild surprise on Gaius's face, before a soft smile of love and acceptance broke out. Gaius opened his mouth, but Arthur was suddenly afraid. Not even that he'd be rejected or that Gaius would hate him. He highly doubted that. He just… was afraid. So, he cut Gaius off, again, and kept speaking, each word slightly more frantic and panicked than the last.

"A-at least I think I am. Maybe? I don't, well. I don't know, am I? God, what even is love? I have no idea. I thought I was in love, before. With Gwen. You remember her, right? Beautiful, incredible, sweet. The perfect woman. I, I loved her. Right? Yes. Maybe. I don't know! Because I love Merlin too, or I think I do, but it feels nothing alike! W-with Gwen it was easy. I knew, since I was ten, that I would marry her one day. It was just… I knew it. But when Lancelot came, I didn't know it anymore. And it hurt. I hated him. But even just thinking about Merlin with anyone else kills me inside. I didn't even know how much I hated Gwaine until I read his stupid letter breaking up with Merlin and I realized how much hurt I had been feeling and I-"

Arthur cut off, letting out a high-pitched whine. He scrubbed his hand through his hair and stood, pacing restlessly. He barely even remembered Gaius was in the room. He was just… ranting.

"I've never felt like this before. When I look at him, I feel… god. So much. Everything. It's like looking at the sun. Blinding and painful and horrible. Yet also awe-inspiring and beautiful and wondrous. Like I'm seeing something precious that only I am allowed to see. Is this love? Am I, am I in love?! Am I cursed, with magic? Or is this something else? Something different? I don't know! I- I think it's love… b-but it's not like anything else I've ever felt. Loving Gwen was easy. It was just right. Logical. Nothing about loving Merlin is logical. In fact, it's very illogical! Because Merlin is a man and a prince, and he is expected to marry a princess or Noblewoman, t-to produce heirs, and he can't possibly love a non-magical peasant! Yeah, we're connected, but what if that's all this is?! Our bond?! Is it still real? If we're just being influenced by our bond, are the feelings inspired true? Or… o-or…"

Arthur cut off at that, throat getting too thick to speak. He could feel tears of frustration prickling at his eyes, but he valiantly fought them down. Like hell would he be that weak. He was already mortified enough. No thank you, tears.

He watched, numb, as Gaius stood and strode over to him. He had half a second to worry that Gaius was about to punch him when the man pulled him into a tight hug, squeezing as tight as his old muscles allowed. Which was very tight, he realized, hugging back. He hid his face in Gaius's robes, like a child. He felt so foolish and stupid. God. Why had he thought this would be a good idea? Idiot. Should have kept it in. Now Gaius knew how pathetic he was, and he'd hate him and-

"Oh, Arthur. I will not pretend to know what you are feeling, as love portrays itself in many different ways. Every time you fall in love, it will be different to the last. No two loves are the same, after all. The way I love you is different to the way I love Merlin, though I view both of you like my own. What you feel for Merlin might be love. Or perhaps not. Maybe it's just infatuation, brought on by proximity and your destiny. Or maybe it's magic. I cannot tell, Arthur. Not for sure. I can say that you do not seem to be enchanted, to me. I've seen enough love spells in my life to be assured that you are not currently cursed. But I cannot give you the answers you seek. Only you can do that."

Oh. Great. More riddles. No! He wanted answers, goddamn it!

"C-can you. Can you just… Just tell me. Does it sound like love?"

He felt so pathetic, hiding his face in his honorary father's robe, eyes squeezed tight, asking for clarification on his own feelings. Feelings he should already be able to figure out on his own. Pathetic.

Gaius just hummed, hand moving up to hold Arthur's head against him, protecting him. It felt nice. Secure.

"Again, I cannot say. My love for Alice… it was deep. True. But we didn't have the troubles you and Merlin currently have. I do not envy you, my boy, for the weight of your destiny."

Arthur let out a noise of frustration, trying to pull back. This wasn't helping. But Gaius just tutted and held Arthur tight. After a second of fighting, Arthur stopped pulling and just listened, resigned, hands clenched in fists on Gaius's back.

"Now, now. All I'm saying is that I can't tell you for sure. Not completely. Only you can answer that. However. From what you are saying. From what I have seen, from both you and Merlin? Well. It wouldn't surprise me if it were love you are feeling. You are a very caring person, Arthur. Your heart runs deep, and you feel things so strongly, even if you cannot verbalize the feelings. Your words do not surprise me, nor do your feelings. Love or not, I do not doubt that you care very deeply for the young warlock prince. Do not discount that affection out of hand. Embrace it. Nurture it. Only then can you really tell what it is you are feeling. And Arthur. Do not be afraid. Love is the most powerful force on earth. You have nothing to fear from it. Let yourself feel it. Only then will your confusion end. Only then will you be able to tell."

Arthur felt his throat grow thick again, and he took some deep breaths to fight back the panic that was rising within him. It was so much. Too much.

"But," Arthur began, hesitating. He wanted to ask but had no idea how. Gaius said nothing, just hummed, holding him tighter. Arthur closed his eyes. Fuck it. "But what if I'm wrong? What if I pursue this and it isn't love? I've known that Merlin has had… feelings for me since the second week I knew him. What if I'm wrong and I hurt him? I don't want to do that, Gaius. I can't hurt him."

"Then don't," was the reply Gaius gave, shrugging his shoulders. Arthur growled, frustrated, causing Gaius to chuckle.

"I'm sorry, my boy, but really. It's that simple. If you don't want to hurt him, then don't. I've known Merlin since he was born, delivering him myself. From his very first breath he was a fighter, screaming loud and strong. His magic manifested within hours, more powerful than any I'd ever felt, and he was only an infant. When his mother died, he didn't calm for days, somehow instinctively knowing what had happened. I've watched him grow, from a timid, uncertain little boy into a strong, vivacious young man. He has faced challenges that men twice his age couldn't have handled with even half the grace he did. He is not weak, even though many erroneously believe he is since he feels everything so deeply. If you do not want to hurt him, Arthur, then you won't. As long as you trust him. As long as you trust yourself. Don't fear what you are feeling, my dear boy. Trust in him. Trust in yourself. Let yourself feel."

God. He wanted to believe Gaius. Really, honestly. He did.

It was just hard. Trust what he was feeling? How? He didn't even know what he was feeling; how could he trust it?

All he knew was that he didn't want to hurt Merlin. Even the thought of it… it hurt him, deep inside. He wanted Merlin to be happy and healthy forever. If he could take Merlin's pain away, he would, gladly, even if he was forced to then carry it himself. He was strong. Strong enough for the both of them. He could bear the pain for them both.

Was this love? Or just infatuation? Or magic? He'd never heard of magic creating such deep feelings before. Love spells were typically surface deep, only base emotions dealt with. This… this was so much more. So much deeper. He could feel this feeling deep into his own core. Like it was as much a part of him as he was.

Maybe he should do as Gaius suggested. Maybe he should trust in himself. In his feelings. In Merlin. Maybe he should allow himself to feel these feelings and learn from them. Only then could he truly figure it out.

Pulling back, Arthur smiled weakly at Gaius, mind racing. Gaius tutted, hand reaching up to pat his cheek gently.

"You are a good person, Arthur. You are allowed to feel this way. If you decide that you do love Merlin, then don't let anyone take that from you. You will face opposition, maybe even scorn and hate. But don't let it destroy your heart, my boy. That would be the biggest tragedy."

Gaius pulled away, then, though he remained close. He began tinkering with some vials, giving Arthur a moment to compose himself. Regardless of his feelings for Merlin, Arthur was secure in the knowledge that he loved Gaius. Like the father he'd never had.

So, it wasn't what he had wanted to hear. Part of him had wanted Gaius to tell him, definitively, that it was or wasn't love. But that would be too simple, wouldn't it? And nothing in his life was simple. Sadly.

Fine. Fine! He'd see where his feelings led him. He'd listen to them. Experience them. He wouldn't push them down, like he'd done all his life. Part of him wanted to. Wanted to ignore this whole thing and go on how he always had. But something told him that doing such a thing would only hurt Merlin in the end. And the one thing he knew, more than anything? He never wanted to hurt Merlin. Ever.

So. He'd try this. This… feeling thing. Allowing himself to feel what he felt. It was terrifying, yes. But… but also, strangely exciting. Whatever he felt for Merlin, it was strong. And it made him feel warm inside. Light. Happy. Love, infatuation… did it matter, at the moment? He had already figured he wouldn't try anything with Merlin until, at the very least, everything blew over. Who knew how long that would take? Weeks, months... years? He probably would have figured out his feelings by then, so it would hopefully be fine.

And Gaius was right. If he didn't want to hurt Merlin… then he wouldn't. If he actively did his best to not hurt the man, then he wouldn't. And if he ever did, by accident… then he'd just have to fix it. Make up for it.

It was terrifying. The thought of allowing himself to feel, to experience… it was a lot. But maybe it would be worth it, in the end. If they could work it all out. Regardless, he had to learn how to spend the rest of his life beside the man, whether or not they were in love. They had a lot of time to figure it out.

With that settled, for the moment, Arthur wandered over to Gaius and smiled slightly as he settled in to help the man with his potion making. Gaius didn't say anything, just smiled gratefully back.

For the next couple hours Arthur and Gaius fell into a comfortable rhythm, Arthur handing Gaius the ingredients he needed, sometimes before he even asked. It was comfortable. Only one patient arrived that day, complaining of a stomachache. Gaius had looked at Arthur and asked him what he thought the problem was. It hadn't been the first time Gaius had asked for his evaluation of a case, but it was the first when a patient was there.

A little wide eyed, Arthur eventually determined that they had gas from eating a greasy meal from the inn and prescribed an herbal potion Gaius made for gas. It had no magic in it, so it was one he was familiar with, as he made them for Gaius often. Gaius had smiled at him proudly and nodded, saying that was his exact diagnosis as well. Arthur had the feeling the older man had determined the diagnosis after half a minute, maybe less, but he still felt proud that he'd figured it out, even if it had taken him five minutes.

After the patient left, Arthur took the potions Gaius had made and helped deliver them around the castle and lower town. The rain hadn't started when he headed out into the town, so he was safe from the frigid water. By the time he was finished, however, the sky was growing darker with rain clouds, so he quickened his pace back to Gaius's quarters. Not a moment too soon, he thought sardonically, as it began to drizzle when he entered the castle gate. He booked it the last few feet to cover, watching with amusement as the drizzle turned into a torrent of rain, the people who had been wandering in the square yelling and dashing for cover. He had still gotten wet, but it wasn't as bad as some of the people who were now screaming.

As he entered the familiar warmth of Gaius's quarters, he shook out his hair, which had gotten mildly damp due to his brief exposure. Gaius tutted as he got droplets of water over the various papers scattered around. Arthur gave a sheepish smile in return, making Gaius sigh and shake his head.

"Were you able to finish the deliveries before the rain started? Or are there more deliveries for tomorrow?"

Arthur grinned roguishly at Gaius, who tutted once more. At least he wasn't clucking.

"What do you take me for, Gaius? Of course, I finished! The lovely Ms. Marisa wanted me to give you her thanks most arduously."

Gaius laughed, grinning.

"I'm surprised a four-year-old knew such a large word! Though, young Ms. Marisa has always surprised me with her intelligence. Perhaps you have much to learn from her, hm, Arthur?"

How rude. Arthur put his hand to his chest and gasped over exaggeratedly.

"Gaius! You wound me. I will say, though, that it would be an honor to study under such a master. I cannot even imagine what that would be like. Learning from a master," Arthur added, grinning again as Gaius's mouth opened in faux offense. Instead of continuing their game, Gaius just rolled his eyes and smiled warmly.

"I am glad you were able to skip most of the rain, my boy. Would you like me to dry your clothes with a spell?"

Arthur nodded absently, removing Merlin's charm briefly so Gaius's magic could work. Arthur didn't feel Gaius's magic as strongly as he felt Merlin's, but it was warm when it washed over him. Though, that might have been because it was a drying charm Gaius used. Still, it was pleasant and made him feel warm and cared for. His hair was a bit poofy, though, so he patted it down the best he could.

"Oh, I forgot to tell you. I took a look around your room earlier to make sure there was nothing incriminating lying around. Not that I think you'd be that foolish, but the king is extra tense from the recent attack. I wanted to make sure there was nothing he might possibly take offense to. I didn't move anything, though. You've done a good job keeping your nightly activities hidden. Though, really, Arthur. Organization would be helpful. I could barely see the floor!"

Arthur rolled his eyes, shrugging. He had enough chores (mostly self-appointed, but still) that it was hard to find the energy to clean his own room. Besides. It didn't bother him usually. And, honestly, it wasn't that bad. Merlin was worse, the few times Arthur had returned from a sick spell and noticed how messy the quarters had gotten. How a man could make such a mess in such a short time, he didn't know. Anyway, he only needed enough space to practice his swordplay steps, which he did as far from the window as he could. It wasn't the best set up, but it worked for him.

"Thanks, Gaius. Merlin told me that he'd be searching it later, so I would have done it myself. Gives me one less thing to worry about."

"Mm," Gaius agreed, going back to… whatever it was he was doing. Looked like some advanced form of chemistry, which still made Arthur's head hurt to look at, let alone study.

It was about ten minutes later that Merlin showed up, looking apologetic but firm, apologizing to Gaius for the interruption, though his eyes were firmly locked on Arthur as he said the words. Arthur, in return, gave a soft smile before scowling.

The process of searching his room didn't take long. The guards made a mess, though, which was annoying. Yes, his room was messy, but it was his mess. Their mess was a bother. Merlin looked around a little himself, pausing at his bedside table. It was when Merlin blushed brightly and gave him a side look that Arthur remembered the oil he stashed in there, for his, ahem. Other nightly activities.

Arthur couldn't help the blush that formed on his cheeks, but- after making sure the guards weren't looking- winked at Merlin with a smug grin on his face. He adored the way Merlin's face lit up bright red, though he answered with a secret smile before putting the oil away.

He still didn't know how he felt about the man. He was sure what he felt must be love. It had to be. It was just… so intense. He wasn't sure if the feeling could be trusted.

The interview was fairly easy, though. It wasn't awkward talking to Merlin, which relieved him. Part of him had feared he'd have felt awkward around the other man, now. It had honestly been a little fun, acting annoyed at Merlin's questions even though he honestly didn't mind. He had nothing to hide.

Though he did pause at one question Merlin asked.

"Do you have any reason to suspect anyone of being part of the rebel group?"

Arthur had actually paused there, though he knew he shouldn't have. Merlin even raised an eyebrow, indicating he noticed the hesitation. He hadn't been able to help it. He did suspect someone of being part of the group, after all. It just happened to be his estranged father, whom he'd never met and had no idea if the man were even still alive. Figuring that would be hard to explain, even without revealing his heritage and incriminating himself, Arthur shrugged and answered no. It was a good thing Merlin trusted him, he felt, or else that would have ended poorly.

Once the interview was over, Merlin left, requesting his presence that night after he had finished his interviews, which he estimated would take another hour. His eyes were significant on him as he said the words, making Arthur warm and tingly inside. He remembered the previous night, holding the prince so close. Maybe… well. Maybe things would end similarly that night. One could dream.

Then it was him and Gaius again. Gaius has finished his work for the day and was reading a book while he ate a late dinner. Arthur joined the man, like he usually did for dinner, since Merlin typically ate with his family each night. It was nice, he felt. Easy.

"So," Arthur started, after a few minutes had passed. He'd been internally debating how to begin the conversation, not wanting to mortify himself any more than he already had that day. Gaius looked up from his book, Dreaded Eyebrow of Doom raised high. Ugh. He internally shuddered. He swore, that thing gave him nightmares. Nevertheless, never let it be said that Arthur was a coward. He never backed down. So, he inhaled, and spoke.

"You told me. To, uh. Inform you if I wasn't going to be back in my room. Well. There is no guarantee, but… well. I might not. Tonight, that is… well…"

Shit. Abort! Abort!

Somehow, Gaius's eyebrow raised even further (how? How was that even possible?!) and a gleam that Arthur decidedly did not like entered the aged eyes. He had hoped Gaius had loved him enough to not be ruthless, but he had been wrong. Gaius didn't love him. Gaius loved nobody. Bastard.

"Oh, really?" Gaius questioned, something akin to evil glee in his tone. Ohh, no. God. Why? "And why is that my boy?"

Arthur clenched his jaw, glaring at the wall. Fuck his life.

"I fail to see how that is any concern of yours, Gaius," he replied coolly, with as much dignity as he could muster. Gaius clucked (chicken! He was a bloody chicken!) and shook his head. He then stood up and walked over to his bookshelf. Arthur looked after him, confused.

"I will not tell you how to live your life, Arthur. What a man does in the privacy of the dark is no business of mine. But I will not allow you to go about business without knowing some key features of male anatomy that I fear your mother may have missed, if she spoke to you about this at all. Now, I know you will be meeting the prince in less than an hour, so we've got a lot to cover in a short amount of time, I fear. Settle in, my boy."

What was he talking about?

"Gaius, what are you-" Arthur cut off as he saw the title of the book Gaius held. Male anatomy and the basics of sexual intimacy. All blood drained from his face as Arthur shot up, eyes wide.

"No! No, no! I'm good! Really, Gaius, it's not like that, I know all I need to know, thank you-"

"Sit down, Arthur," Gaius stated forcefully, tone hard but eyes filled with that evil gleam. Oh, that bastard. He was enjoying this. Gaius was dead to him. Officially, truly dead. "I want to make sure you are prepared! Tell me, do you know what genital warts are?"

No. No, he didn't. And he'd like to keep it that way, thanks ever so!

But he had no say in the matter. Gaius had decided. Arthur tried to explain it wasn't like that, that they weren't… you know, but Gaius was having none of it.

And thus, followed the worst hour of his young life. And that really was saying something. After all. His life kind of sucked.

"And there. Now you know why it is so important to always use protection. Since you are non-magical, you cannot use the typical spells and charms I'd recommend, but there are potions you can take to keep yourself and your partner safe. It also helps prevent pregnancy, though I don't think you'll have to worry about that. They are a bit tricky to make, but I will make some up for you, to be on the safe side. In case your partner ever forgets."

Arthur heard the man but didn't reply. He was staring blankly at the wall, eyes dead. Part of him hoped that the wall would come alive and trample him, so he didn't have to live with the knowledge Gaius had just enforced on him. It had been bad enough, his mother talking to him briefly about how he should be careful having intercourse with a woman, as such things could lead to pregnancy. He never needed to know the things Gaius had told him. Ever. Oh, God.

"Now, now. Cheer up, my boy. It's important to know your own anatomy! Now you will be safe. Even if what is keeping you at night truly isn't like that, this will keep you safe in the future. I'm only telling you this because I love you, Arthur."

Oh, fuck that. Arthur snorted, looking away from the wall to turn a sardonic eye on Gaius. To his credit, the older man tried to look innocent, but failed after a moment, breaking into cruel laughter a second later, eyes filled with mirth. Dead. To. Him.

"I hate you," Arthur intoned, though he didn't mean it. In fact, he actually, privately (very privately!) was kind of grateful. He truly hadn't known how important protection was, sex not something one talked about in polite company. Or how, you know. That all worked. (Especially with a man. It had been even more mortifying, but Gaius had carefully explained how it worked, not breaking from his lecturer tone. Arthur had been horrified, even though he knew Gaius knew his proclivities, but it had strangely fascinated him).

Now, don't get him wrong. It had been mortifying and he never wanted to do it again, but it had been informative.

Gaius calmed down after a moment and looked at him with fond eyes, kind smile on his lips.

"I'm sorry, Arthur. But this was for your own good. I remember when I told Merlin this stuff, when he turned twelve. He had turned bright red and wouldn't look anyone in the eyes for days. Freya was so concerned, but he refused to even look at her, the poor girl. It was hard to keep a straight face."

Okay. Maybe Gaius was less dead to him. Arthur couldn't help the grin that formed at the thought of Mini Merlin, receiving the same information Gaius had just told him, forced to interact with his crush. He knew the pair were more siblings than anything else these days, so it tickled him to think, instead of making his stomach roil with jealousy.

Rolling his eyes, he stood with a flourish, glaring at the older man. He was still mortified, after all. Embarrassing Mini Merlin stories couldn't fix that.

"Well. This has been the most horrible hour of my life that I will never get back. Now, I need to go see Merlin and hope that I don't act like a bloody fool in front of him. Thank you ever so much, Gaius. Really."

Arthur tried to put as much disdain and contempt in his voice, making Gaius chuckle some more. Arthur tried to keep his annoyed front, but he caved when Gaius gave him a fond look, eyes so tender it hurt. Sighing, Arthur rolled his eyes and moved forward to briefly hug the older man. One of those manly side hugs. Because he was a manly man.

"Thanks," he muttered, begrudgingly. Mercifully, Gaius didn't comment, just smiled kindly and nodded once.

Done with that (and he would never speak on it, ever again!) he exited the quarters and headed up to Merlin.

To his shock, and quiet dismay, he managed to beat the prince there. He had thought he'd be late. This didn't bode well for the prince. It meant the interviews had run long.

Deciding to be productive, Arthur fluttered around the room, cleaning up the last little bit from Merlin's rage the previous night. Wow. It had only been one day, huh? It had felt longer, what with his picnic and panic and talks with Gaius. It felt like an eternity had passed that day.

He hadn't been able to finish cleaning when Merlin entered, dead tired and radiating agony.

There was one good thing, at least. Any residual embarrassment from his earlier talk faded as worry filled him, hurrying to Merlin's side to help.

Later, as Merlin worked on his reports (back tense and angry, making Arthur's back ache in sympathy) and after he had finished cleaning the room, Arthur requested a tub be sent up, with relaxing lavender and lilac oils to be added. It was Merlin's typical bath day, and the man looked like he needed it. For relaxation, that is. He didn't smell. Or, if he did, it wasn't a scent Arthur minded. Definitely not.

Blushing, Arthur shook his head to get the thoughts out. Unbidden, his mind flashed back to Gaius's talk, about how male sex worked, making him blush a brighter red. He even accidentally caught a glimpse of himself in Merlin's mirror and was mortified at how much like a tomato he looked.

Luckily (or not, as it was bad for the prince), Merlin was focused so intently on his paperwork that he didn't notice. He didn't even look up as the bath was brought in, tub supported by two strong servants, pitchers of water being brought by serving girls. There was a serving sorceress there, as well, who heated the water with a spell. He glared at them whenever they made any noise, not wishing to bother Merlin if he was working that intently. He hoped the water wouldn't cool too much before the man finished, but knew it wouldn't matter. Merlin could heat it up, like that sorceress had.

Now, he hadn't meant to touch Merlin when he had finally finished his work, eyes landing on the bath. He had just seen the man, struggling to take off his robes and had… well.

Servants typically helped their masters bathe, he had told himself, face heating as he lathered the warm skin up, heart pounding in his chest. He hadn't meant to look at Merlin's… that. He'd just been remembering Gaius's diagrams, his words, and his eyes… well. They had wandered. And then his hands had wandered, his body craving to touch the other man. Maybe it was or wasn't love, but god did he feel lust.

That would have mortified him, once. Knowing he longed for the touch of a man. To be touched by a man. To, well. Fuck a man.

He had grown, he acknowledged, drying Merlin off carefully. He decidedly did not look any farther south than his stomach, though he could feel the heat of what he knew was there. He had brushed it, accidentally of course, while bathing Merlin. He had had to fight to not grab it outright, putting Gaius's information to good use (which, by the by, had actually helped to control his arousal. It was hard to be painfully aroused when remembering things that the man who was practically one's father had told them about sex.)

Merlin had insisted to dress himself, face bright red, which Arthur could understand. It likely would have been too much, if he had to touch that too warm skin any longer. He already felt ready to burst. If either he or Merlin had been mentally prepared for a deeper relationship, by god, would he have done something about the nearly unbearable tension. As it was, he knew neither were ready for that. He certainly wasn't.

He had been able to calm himself down while Merlin changed, though, making it easier to sit beside him on the bed, Merlin's shoulders tense once more.

Arthur moved closer and let his hand fall on Merlin's mid back, his voice low as he spoke.

"Get some rest, Merlin," he muttered,

causing the boy to lean against him. Heart full, Arthur ran his fingers through the wet curls, loving how the silky strands slipped through his splayed fingers. It had been strangely intimate, washing Merlin's hair. He could have sworn the man had moaned a couple times when he'd tugged the hair a little harsher than intended. He had quickly tucked that nugget of information away into his back pocket. No reason, of course.

A moment passed, intimate and sweet, before Merlin's voice piped up.

"Stay?" The man whispered, soft against his chest. Arthur felt his heart beat fast again, a smile rising on his face. God. He'd been hoping Merlin would ask that. It made his earlier mortification worth it. Arthur hummed and nodded, so happy it almost hurt.

"Okay. I, uh. Already informed Gaius it was a possibility," Arthur admitted, blush rising as he remembered the horror that followed that conversation. Not that he'd ever tell Merlin about it. As it was, he heard Merlin laugh, his nose pressing firmly against his chest. He had a moment to panic, knowing it had been several days since he had last bathed (he was lucky if he got a full bath once a week, though he made sure to pat himself off with a wet towel, especially after his sword exercises. Merlin's New Year gift was a god send, most day). Merlin didn't seem to mind that he reeked of stale sweat and grime, though. That was good.

Figuring that it would be good to dress for bed, Arthur reluctantly stood and looked into Merlin's wardrobe. He didn't think the man would mind.

Maybe I should bring some of my night clothes here, he mused, before blushing. That was assuming this became a regular thing.

The blush deepened when he heard Merlin let out an appreciative hum, realizing suddenly that Merlin was watching him. Like he had the night before. Hmm. Perhaps Merlin liked this sort of thing. Watching him unclothe. Another nugget of information to tuck away.

Finally, he finished dressing (definitely not going slower, giving the man a show. Decidedly not. He was offended anyone would think such a thing), before he entered bed, arms open in a silent bid of welcome. Part of him felt it was too obvious, that he was taking far too many liberties, but his fears were laid to rest when Merlin immediately crept into his arms, sighing happily as he snuggled close.

It was adorable, Arthur thought, soft smile on his lips. He couldn't help his own happy sigh in return, burying his nose in the still damp hair. It should be uncomfortable, but it really wasn't. He liked it, actually. The scent of Merlin's soap was overwhelming, but underneath was the scent he had come to associate with Merlin, at his core. He couldn't even begin to describe it, other than it smelled… pure. Powerful. Extremely nice.

Holding Merlin in his arms again was like a balm to a wound he never knew he had. Like he was finally whole. Yes, the thoughts were sappy. Yes, they made a part of him, deep inside, recoil with mortification. But mostly? He was just… happy.

He knew times were awful. He knew things would be hard. Merlin had told him, almost accidentally, that five people had died in the rebel attack and that twenty more had been injured. That wasn't nothing. That would require retaliation. Merlin hadn't told him what had happened in the meeting, like Gaius had claimed, but Arthur knew it hadn't been good. Merlin had looked so dark, following the meeting. So worried. He wouldn't ask the man, though maybe he'd ask Gaius later. He wanted to know, even though part of him truly didn't.

He pushed the thoughts out of his mind as he heard Merlin snuffle softly, eyes closed and face relaxed. Arthur couldn't help the smile that rose on his face. He let his hand run over Merlin's back, rubbing soft circles, the man plaint in his arms.

He wanted so desperately for this to become an everyday occurrence. To wake up and see Merlin first thing in the morning. To fall asleep, Merlin's face, relaxed and peaceful in sleep, the last thing he saw. To sleep beside this incredible man, who housed such terrible power, and be allowed to hold him.

Maybe it was love. Maybe it wasn't. Maybe this would last. Maybe not.

All he knew was that when he held Merlin, it was like he was holding the entire world in his arms. He'd never felt so much before. Love, infatuation, who cared? He'd let himself feel it. Wouldn't let it scare him. It wasn't magic. He had known that even before Gaius had pretty much confirmed it. Magic didn't go this deep.

He'd see where this led them. He wouldn't let his own insecurities ruin this, like they had ruined things with Gwen. This time would be different. This time would be better.

He swore it.

A/N:(Another summary that I added back when I wrote this story for... mysterious reasons that are mysterious even to me.)

Really Serious summary:

Arthur has a Big Gay Panic moment and realizes he should ask his Adoptive Dad for some fatherly advice. They share a bonding moment over Arthur not being awful at medicine, before Arthur bites the bullet and asks Gaius the age-old question, "What is love?" To which Gaius replies "~~Baby don't hurt me~~"

Just kidding. What really happens is that Arthur states he loves Merlin, but doesn't know if it is love or not, since it was different to his love for Gwen. He asks Gaius if what he feels is love or not, to which Gaius replies that he doesn't know, as all love manifests differently. Arthur is frustrated at this answer, but eventually accepts it and realizes that regardless, he doesn't want Merlin to get hurt, so that would have to be enough.

Then he and Gaius bond more over medicine, before Merlin comes to interview Arthur. Arthur acts a little suspicious, when asked if he suspects anyone of being involved with the rebels (due to his fears of his father being involved), but Merlin doesn't press it and it's all fine.

Following that, Arthur (stupidly) tells Gaius he plans to not be around that night. Gaius, horrible person he is, decides it is high time that Arthur learned about the birds and the bees. Whether Arthur wants him to or not. And Arthur most definitely does not.

Not given a choice, Arthur suffers through the Worst Hour of his Life (tm). Gaius is officially dead to him, even though the man kindly informed him how gay butt sex works. But do you really want your honorary dad to tell you about gay butt sex? The answer is no. No, you do not. Even though it was helpful, and you actually feel kind of grateful to know how to not get medieval herpes now.

After that, Arthur meets up with Merlin (which is strangely not as awkward as he would have thought, following Gaius's The Talk), and the events from the end of the last chapter occur, just in Arthur's perspective.

Also, Arthur is a sap. But that's a given.