AN: You're all amazing... Just saying. Thank you for your amazing reviews!

Chapter Twenty-Five

Mary had never been so thankful to hear the words 'yes we have a bed' as she had been that morning. Ana had struggled through the night, she'd had fitful sleep, multiple psychotic attacks and had been uncooperative since she'd woken up from her sedation. Mary hadn't been able to get any kind of conversation out of her. She was exhausted, but at least now if she could get Ana to be a little more cooperative then maybe, just maybe, she'd be able to get her transferred to Westpoint House, a psychiatric residential facility for teens and young adults specifically dealing with post-traumatic stress. Because if anyone in the world was going to help Ana now it was them.

Sitting now beside Ana's bed she just wanted the young woman to admit she needed help and agree to go, if she could do that, then the ball could get moving, she had three days to agree before the doctors at Harborview would have no choice but to move her from the emergency ward to the general long-term unit and keep her committed there.

"Grace said Eric wanted to see you." Mary tried again. "How does that make you feel Ana?" Ana glared at her, she was in wrist restraints after lashing out at a nurse when she bought her breakfast this morning and got too close, so she couldn't even cross her arms across her chest like she wanted to. She still had the wild animal look about her too, her eyes were bloodshot, her hair was mangled after the fight on the floor and not having a brush to sort it out. "Why did you hurt yourself?"

"Leave me alone!" She spat but Mary wasn't going to back down now, she needed Ana to be well enough to transfer out.

"I'm not giving up on you." Mary said putting her notepad down. "You may have given up on yourself but I'm not giving up on you, and neither is Grace nor Christian."

"Then why hasn't he come?" Ana snapped. "He was here last time when I woke up…" Her voice cracked and Mary realised that was what had upset Ana this morning, waking up without Christian there for her.

"It's different this time Ana, Christian's not allowed to visit right now, not while you're unstable."

"I need him…" Ana croaked.

"I know." Mary sat beside Ana on the bed and slipped her hand into Ana's restrained one, despite the risks, she knew Ana wouldn't hurt her. "He's called, to check on you and I had to tell him he couldn't come. Grace has been by too. They're not giving up on you Ana."

"I've given up." Ana replied finally meeting Mary's eyes. "I can't live with this Mary… remembering how I feel for him…"

"Felt." Mary corrected.

"Feel." Ana sighed. "I can't help it but I still feel for him…"

"Stockholm syndrome is a coping strategy." Mary said gently. "When you were in that basement, you were always looking for the next attack, waiting for the pain, the torture and the humiliation. Bonding with Eric was much easier than with Elena because he showed you kindness when you hadn't experienced any in such a long time. He still raped you Ana, he still tortured you but despite that, you feel for him because he was kind to you."

"I know that." Ana sighed looking down at the bedsheets again. "But after all these years?"

"Him coming back into your life, has reawakened a lot of those old feelings just as remembering Elena brought back the terror. Eric Lincoln was your hope in the darkest of times and you've clung to that, all these years. Those feelings you had for Eric Lincoln are why he was able to take you out, leave you in the park to get you ice cream and you didn't escape until Elena allowed you to be gang-raped."

"Stop! Just stop!" Ana shouted, tugging violently at her restraints. "Don't… no more… please Mary I can't deal with this… I can't…"

"Yes you can." Mary said jumping off the bed so she could get closer to Ana's face and almost force her to look at her. "You are the strongest person I've ever met Ana and you can get through this but you have got to want to."

"I don't know if I do anymore." Ana cried. "I can't face it anymore… it's killing me Mary…I want to die…"

"You said you wanted to be happy. Do you think you still can be?"

"I don't know." Ana sighed angrily; tears were slipping down her cheeks now but she couldn't stop them because of the restraints. "I want to be… with Christian… I want to get married and put this behind me but… I don't know if I ever will." She sniffed every other word and Mary reached over and wiped the young woman's tears with her thumb.

"You will, but you've got to work for it. I know that's unfair, I know you've worked hard just to get to this stage but I think with longer-term residential help in a treatment facility for trauma, you'll get there, you will get the right help, the right support…"

"Ok." Ana said stopping Mary in her tracks. "Ok, I just… I need to… I need…" Mary gently stroked her hand through Ana's hair while she tried to regain her jumbled thoughts. "I want to get to the point I can face Eric Lincoln and hope he rots in prison for the next thirty years."

"You want to see him?" Mary asked and Ana nodded. "Why?"

"Because I want to look him in the eye knowing he has no power over me anymore." Ana replied and Mary nodded. "Right now, if he looked me in the eye… I'd break… I'd… I'd want to help him even though I know that's wrong…"

"Ana, it's like a domestic abuse survivor who keeps going back to their abusive spouse, they know it's wrong, they know it won't get better but they've been conditioned to love their spouse just as you've been conditioned to love Eric Lincoln, despite knowing it's wrong, despite knowing he's a monster…" Ana burst into tears and Mary sat once again on the bed and pulled Ana's head to her shoulder, she couldn't hug Mary back because of the restraints but appreciated the hug she was getting. "We'll get you the help it's just going to take time and some faith from you."

"Ok." Ana breathed. "Ok whatever, I'll do it just… promise me this will be the last time I get like this because I can't do it…" She tugged at her restraints again, Mary couldn't promise her that, mental health was a horrible beast that could crop up on her at any point in the future, but what she could promise was that they would deal with this once and for all, and this aspect of her trauma would be laid to rest.

Christian was pacing Escala waiting for Mary to contact him about Ana. His mother's words had been ringing in his ears all night, he'd barely slept, he couldn't eat, he didn't even know if she was ok because he hadn't seen her for himself. The prosecutor had caught the brunt of his anger this morning, he'd call there and absolutely gave her hell for what she had done to Ana but it hadn't made him feel any better because Ana was still on the psych ward.

Grace was with him, she was just drinking tea and answering any question that he had where she could. Grace had been shaken by Ana's behaviour the previous afternoon. Of course, she didn't blame Ana, she knew it wasn't Ana's fault, but the whole situation was hurting her so much and if Mary hadn't come and insisted that Ana go to the hospital, chances are Grace would have kept her in Bellevue last night so she could take care of her and things would have gone from bad to worse.

When the phone rang, they both jumped and Christian whipped it out of his pocket and nodded at Grace to confirm it was Mary calling before he answered it.

"Hello?"

Hi Christian, I'm on my way over.

"Ok. I'll have security let you in." He replied before ending the call and shooting a text to Taylor so that he'd know the psychiatrist was coming. "Mary's coming over." He said looking at his mother.

"She wouldn't leave Ana unless she felt it was ok to do so." Grace commented but it didn't do anything to calm Christian's racing thoughts, if Ana was ok why couldn't she just tell him on the phone.

It was less than ten minutes later when the elevator dinged and Taylor showed Mary through.

"I'll get you some coffee." Grace said seeing as it was obvious Mary hadn't slept a wink. Christian wanted to ask her how Ana was but as the psychiatrist took a seat in the armchair, he knew better than to bombard her, he couldn't sit down though, he was too much on edge to be able to sit down right now.

Grace returned and passed Mary a coffee which she took gratefully and she waited for Grace to sit down before she started.

"Ana has had an incredibly difficult night." She said and Christian closed his eyes as the news devastated him. "She is… psychotic." Mary glanced from Christian to Grace, they were taking the news hard and that didn't surprise her. "She had to be restrained, she was lashing out violently at members of staff and she … she is suicidal."

"Fuck sakes you were supposed to be helping her!" Christian exploded.

"Christian!" Grace snapped making him stop before he could say anything else.

"I am Christian, I didn't know about any of this. She mentioned her feelings towards Eric Lincoln before she went to Aspen but never did she give me the impression they ran this deep otherwise I'd have dealt with it. I haven't had the opportunity to tackle everything, things are moving so fast." Mary defended herself, she needed to if she was going to get Christian to support her and Ana in the coming weeks. "Think of it this way, she was battered and bruised, and despite the fact she was still standing the blows kept coming, every time she gets knocked gets back up again but the bruises don't get a chance to heal before she's hit, again and again, she just can't get up on her own anymore."

"I'm sorry Mary I just…" Christian held the bridge of his nose as he controlled his temper and his tears, this was just too much. "She was doing so well."

"Ana is a master at manipulating her behaviour to appear much better than she is, it's a survival technique, she's lived her entire life in survival mode." Mary reassured "and she was doing incredibly well but this time… it's too much, this is going to take time to recover from because she doesn't want to recover this time."

"How was she when you left Mary?" Grace asked, her concern for the young woman only growing.

"She was ok, they didn't feel happy enough to remove the restraints yet but she was much calmer when I left. Resting." Mary said before taking a sip of her coffee. "I've spoken to Westpoint they have a bed for her and I'm hoping she'll be in the right mind frame to go there tomorrow."

"Westpoint?" Christian asked.

"It's a psychiatric trauma centre for teens." Mary explained. "They take young people up the age of twenty-six so she's well within the age limit."

"Ok so she goes there what happens?"

"She'll get intensive therapy Christian, she'll come out a different person if she engages." Mary said and Christian nodded, he wanted to know more. "It's two to one, she'll have two dedicated psychiatrists who will be dedicated to her and only her while she's there…"

"But it won't be you."

"No. I will be her discharge planner, I'll be involved, ready to help her integrate back into society and stick to her meds and her treatment program." Mary explained and Christian nodded again, he was taking all of this in.

"But will we back to square one in a month?" He asked aware it had only been a month since Ana had last been in a psychiatric facility.

"Christian, Ana will likely still be in the facility in a month… there's a minimum stay requirement of thirty days…"

"She'll miss thanksgiving… what about Christmas?" His voice shook as he thought about missing his first Christmas with Ana.

"Christian, if Ana needs to be there darling…"

"If she's in a good place we may be able to give her a home visit for the holidays." Mary reassured interrupting Grace because she could see how upset Christian was getting. "But she will need to stay for as long as she needs to stay. Once she's there, she'll be there until they say she's free to go."

"She's an adult she will be able to decide for herself won't she?" Christian asked unsure now where this was going.

"She's currently on a seventy-two-hour psych hold Christian which will continue on transfer to Westpoint and once she's at Westpoint I will, with the support a treating physician be petitioning the court for an involuntary detention order."

"Why?" Christian asked horrified.

"Because she's threatened to kill herself." Mary admitted and Christian fell to his knees as pain tore through his chest.

"Christian." Grace went over to him. "It's for the best, she'll get the help she needs sweetheart."

"She's hurting herself Christian, it's one of the reasons she's restrained, we've had to cut her nails to stop her from being able to cut herself, she's in a really bad way." Mary said joining him and Grace on the floor. "I know this is hard for you but you need to be strong right now ok?"

"But if it goes through the court…how long?"

"Until she's safe." Mary replied honestly and Christian sighed, this was breaking him. "She'd like to see you before she's transferred? You may be able to help her see that this is for the best."

"I want to see her. But what will happen when she's transferred? Will I not be able to see her?"

"Not for a little while, she'll need to settle in, show she's engaging with treatment." Mary explained and again Christian nodded despite the fact her words were like being stabbed in the heart all over again. "Look I need to get back to the hospital, but come over this evening, both of you and hopefully you'll help her see this is for the best."

Mary left the mother and son together on the living room floor and headed back for the hospital. She'd known Ana was special and was going to leave an imprint in her life but she had never anticipated that she would need counseling herself to deal with the emotions stirred in her by a patient. Ana's story though was incredible, and hopefully, it would be one with such a happy ending that it would be worth it. However, Mary knew she needed help and support to deal with the images the young woman was leaving in her head, as well as the vivid images of Ana's abuse there was all those crisis moments that affected Mary so much more than she could ever have imagined them doing.

Back at Escala Christian was pulling himself together again. He had to trust Mary, Ana did, that's why she had engaged so well with her in the first place and so he needed to also. Mary knew what she was doing and if she felt a court-ordered long term stay was what Ana needed then he wasn't going to fight that.

"I need to let Ray know." Christian said reaching for his phone.

"I'll call your father, might be a good idea if he is involved in the court proceedings as Ana's attorney." Grace stated.

"We can't fight this Mom… if it's what Ana needs…"

"I won't fight it darling, he needs to be there to agree that it's in Ana's best interest and just to make sure that's what they're doing." She explained and they separated ways so they could make their respective calls.

Mary had managed to grab a couple of hours sleep in the on-call room while Ana slept, real exhaustion had finally hit the young woman and she had crashed. She was still restrained though, the doctor on duty had tried to remove them only for Ana to immediately begin clawing at her face despite the fact she had no nails, they couldn't risk her hurting herself and so she had to stay restrained for now.

When Mary slipped back into Ana's room, aware it wouldn't be long before Christian and Grace would be visiting, she found the young girl lying in her bed, unable to move her arms, blinking softly, staring blankly at the wall.

"Hi Ana." She said quietly when the young woman failed to respond to her coming into the room. Ana blinked, glanced briefly at her before looking back at the wall. It broke Mary's heart, Ana had such an incredible personality, but it wasn't there right now, this was a shell, a ghost, of the young woman she'd got to know. "How are you feeling?"

"Stop it. You don't care." Ana retorted as Mary slipped into the chair beside the bed.

"Why do you say that?" Mary asked, not rising to the insult whatsoever, she knew this was normal behaviour, Ana felt Mary was letting her down and that was ok. Ana just tugged at the restraints again as if that was supposed to answer her. "Would you like me to take those off?"

"My arms are stiff." Ana replied as if it was enough of an answer.

"You have to promise me you won't try to hurt me or yourself."

"I'd never hurt you." Ana replied, and Mary smiled, she knew the young woman would have no memory of the moments where she'd been lashing out and Mary had been close to getting it a few times.

"But not yourself either, or they'll go straight back on." Mary warned as she stood so she could undo the restraints. They weren't anything complex, just soft sponge cuffs with Velcro which Mary undid one at a time before sitting on the bed to massage Ana's wrists for her.

"Ugh my shoulders are killing me." Ana said rolling her head she adjusted to having free movement of her arms once again.

Mary said nothing, just continued to massage the pulse points on Ana's wrists which seemed to have a very relaxing effect on Ana, she sighed into the sensation and relaxed back against her pillows.

"What's going to happen to me Mary?" Ana asked as Mary continued to softly roll her thumbs into Ana's wrists.

"We'll be taking you to a place called Westpoint tomorrow." Mary said. "There they'll be able to give you the help you need."

"I don't even know what I need anymore." Ana admitted. "I just… my brain keeps telling me the only way out is death and I can't feel anything…"

"I know sweetheart." Mary finally looked at Ana. "That's why you're going to Westpoint, they'll be able to help with that."

"But you won't be there." Ana said and Mary gave her an apologetic smile. "I feel like you're abandoning me…"

"Never." Mary replied firmly. "Never ever Ana." She added in the hope Ana would believe her. "I'm just not equipped for this, Harborview's long-term unit is not a place for you, it's full of petty criminals and people with severe mental health issues, fully grown adult men. I'd be scared if you went there but it's the only long-term place where I could be directly involved in your treatment. Westpoint helps young people, there are only six beds, six young people at a time and we're lucky they have a bed for you right now."

"Do I not get a say in this?" Ana asked feeling so vulnerable and out of control that these decisions were being made for her.

"No. Not this time." Mary replied. "It's my choice as your doctor, you're on a psych hold Ana and you're going to be on a court ordered commitment…"

"What? Why?!" Ana yelled becoming frantic as Mary's words hit her.

"Calm down or I'm going to have to restrain you again." Mary said grabbing Ana's shoulders ready for a fight. "Grace and Christian are coming to see you and I don't want them to see you chained up like a dog and neither do you want them to see you like that."

Ana scanned Mary's face, looking for a lie, looking for anything that would allow her to explode or lash out but there was nothing and she sat back into her pillows again and took a deep breath.

"I know this is difficult for you Ana."

"No you don't." Ana snapped. "That's been a part of the problem in all of this hasn't it Mary? You haven't got a clue, I was too much for you from day one but instead of admitting that you pushed and pushed and this is the result."

"That's unfair." Mary replied climbing off the bed so she could face Ana properly. "I've done my best by you Ana, I didn't expect a lot of this to happen but it happened outside of my control. All I want is for you to be happy. Don't you think I'm as desperate as you are at this stage to see you smiling walking down the aisle on your wedding day?"

Ana looked away, ashamed of her outburst but Mary didn't take it personally. This was normal behaviour for someone going through what Ana was currently.

"I just want to die Mary." Ana said quietly.

"I'm not going to let that happen." Mary said leaning over the bed so she could look at Ana's face. "But I'm going to try and make those feelings go away."

A knock at the door had Mary pulling away and Ana jumping a little in the bed. They both turned to see Christian and Grace coming in.

"I'll leave you have your visit." Mary said. "And Ana…" The young woman looked at her. "Please behave." Ana nodded in response knowing exactly what Mary meant, don't give them a reason to restrain her again.

"Ana." Christian leaned over and took her lips in his own and he was relieved when she returned it feverishly. "I'm so sorry."

"You didn't do anything." Ana said as she pulled away just as Grace slipped her hand into Ana's on the other side of the bed. "I'm sorry Grace…"

"No, you don't get to apologise sweetheart." Grace said. "I don't need an apology, I just need you to get better ok."

"Ok." Ana said before sighing into her pillows, this was awkward, none of them truly knew what to say to one another. "Did Mary fill you in?" She asked glancing first at Christian then Grace who both nodded. "So you know they're locking me up?"

"Ana, sweetheart, they're not locking you up. Westpoint is a lovely place…" Grace started but when she saw the thunderous look in Ana's eye she dropped it.

"I won't be allowed to leave, it may as well be a prison." Ana retorted.

"It's… for your own good." Christian swallowed, he was struggling with this but he couldn't explain that to Ana, she needed him strong and that was the front he was trying to put on.

"You guys shouldn't be here." Ana said fighting her tears. "Please leave."

"Ana…" Grace started.

"No!" Ana yelled. "I can't do this anymore. I just need you to go."

Mary calmly walked back into the room and crossed her arms at the foot of the bed while Ana stared at the wall of to the side, she wasn't losing it, so there was no reason to restrain her but it was obvious she was still emotionally lashing out.

"Ana, Christian and Grace are here to support you, they don't deserve your anger any more than I do." She said but Ana refused to respond and Mary signalled the corridor with her head which made Christian and Grace follow her out. "This is normal, she's lashing out because she's scared, she's pushing you away, look you're free to stay till the end of visiting as long as she doesn't become violent towards herself or you. Even if you sit there in silence, she needs to know you're on her side."

The pair nodded and returned to Ana's room. Grace took the chair, Christian sat on the side of the bed and ran his fingers through Ana's hair and as much as she was trying to ignore him, her body relaxed automatically into his touch.

"Doesn't matter how hard things get Ana, how much you try to hurt me or push me away, I'm not going to stop loving you, fighting for you, I know you're in hell right now and I know I'll never understand what you're going through but I'm here for you and I'm not going anywhere." He told her and silent tears began to fall down Ana's cheeks. "I promise baby I'm not going anywhere."

"I don't know how I'll survive this." She whispered.

"You will, you're the strongest person I know Ana, just don't fight it, don't fight them, work with them, jump through the hoops. Please. I'm begging you."