Chapter 38. Such Great Heights

This pregnancy is different for Addison. Not a "bad" different, she thinks. Just different. The nausea is not as rough this time, and it feels less frequent, which has been nice. The exhaustion is worse though, courtesy of already having a child outside the womb (a lovely child, but a child who saps all her energy and most of her patience all the same).

"Hey," Addison murmurs sleepily, rousing when she feels one of Mark's hands lightly stroking her stomach. She would normally want to strangle him for waking her up on a Sunday, but instead she cups her hand over his. She likes this. Weekday mornings are insane, work keeps her busy, and chasing after Kate in the evening keeps her even busier. Addison can barely keep her eyes open lately once she gets into bed, so she is more appreciative than ever for weekends because she feels less loopy and stretched-too-thin when she talks to their baby and rubs her stomach.

"Hey," Mark responds. "Sorry. I didn't want to wake you, but it's almost seven-thirty and our kid, well…" he brushes her shoulder with his lips. "She's pretty much an alarm clock these days." Kate usually does not sleep in much later than seven-thirty, and Mark figures that his wife waking up gradually from his touch is infinitely better than their extremely loud child barreling into the room and jumping on the bed (Addison might be less prone to vomiting this go-around, but that does not help).

"That's very true. But hey, let's tell Kate about the baby when she comes in here."

"Really?" He asks. Addison is almost ten weeks now, and has been insistent about waiting until she hits the second trimester to tell their daughter, or anyone for that matter other than Savvy, who figured it out right away (Mark thinks sometimes that his wife and her best friend share a brain). It is hard for Mark to assess whether Addison is more emotional with this pregnancy or if he just cannot remember as vividly some of her more stand-out moodier moments from the first pregnancy. Mark just knows that in the past week she has quietly wept over many things, including: the only flavor of ice cream they currently have isn't the one she wants; there will never be world peace; a button fell off her Carolina Herrera top (never mind that Mark sewed it back on right away); their sheets feel weird on her skin; and they need to get serious about buying a house, because where else will they fit the baby (Mark regrets saying in the microwave, because non-hormonal Addison finds his jokes annoying most days, and hormonal Addison finds them annoying all the days).

"Yeah," she says with a smile, answering Mark's question. "It's time."

"And after we tell her, do you want me to take her to the park for a bit so we can both get out of your hair?"

She gives him a sleepy, but grateful look. "I would absolutely love that."

-

"Do you know what this is a picture of, sweetie?" Addison asks, holding out her most recent ultrasound photo. She knows Kate won't know, of course, but she's still curious to see what her daughter will say, and it seems as good a way as any to share the news.

Kate squints, looking at the photo closely. "A tornado?" She looks at her mommy, and then her daddy. She is sitting between them on their bed, and is quite confused about why a black and gray blob – a tornado like in the Wizard of Oz, maybe – is supposed to be "something exciting" they want to tell her.

"No," Addison grins. "But you're right; it does kind of look like a tornado. This is actually a picture of the inside of my tummy. And right there," she points a long finger towards something in the center of the non-tornado. "That's a baby growing in my tummy. You're going to be a big sister, Kate."

"I am?" Kate's mouth curves into a wide smile. She has always wanted a sibling, but Mommy and Daddy have told her that they will just have to "wait and see," which she has never quite understood. "There's a baby in your tummy right now? But it doesn't…this doesn't look like a baby, Mommy."

Mark laughs. "Not yet. Your little brother or sister is still growing, and right now he or she is really small – only the size of a strawberry."

"That is small," Kate says, moving her thumb and index finger apart to measure out an invisible strawberry. "Is the baby a baby brother or a baby sister?"

"It's too soon to tell. We'll find out in September," Addison answers. "In the meantime we've been calling the baby Sprout as a nickname."

"That's a stupid name."

"Kate." Addison stretches her daughter's name out and quirks an eyebrow, even though she doesn't disagree in the slightest. Mark came up with the nickname several weeks ago, and although it has grown on her, there is no denying it is just as weird as calling their firstborn a pickle was. "What did we tell you about saying that word?"

"That I am not supposed to say it," Kate replies softly. "Sorry."

"That's okay." Addison gives her a reassuring smile. "Thank you for apologizing. Next time maybe you can say it's a silly name."

"Okay…but Mommy? I heard you call Daddy that word yesterday."

More than once, both parents think.

"You're absolutely right, Kate. I shouldn't have done that. I'll try harder not to say that word too."

Mark meets his wife's eyes and fights back a smirk. No, you won't.

"Hey, Kate," Addison continues, tapping her daughter's shoulder. "You know what we called you before you were born?"

"Katherine?"

"Nope. You had a silly nickname too." Addison glances at her silly-stupid husband, encouraging him to supply the answer.

Mark grins. "We called you 'Pickle,' buddy."

"That is a silly name," Kate giggles. "But I do like pickles. I don't think Baby Sprout will like sprouts though. Those are yucky."

"You sure?" Mark jokes. "I bet Mommy can make you a really good green smoothie with some sprouts in it."

"Daddy, no."

-

"Freaky coincidence, right?" Addison asks around the twelve-week mark when she relays the subject of her recent phone call with Richard Webber to her husband. "Not even just that he's asking for a consult while I'm pregnant…it's the same procedure as last time, too. We might never get world peace, but it sure is a weird world."

"Very freaky," he laughs. "But at least enough time and things have happened since that first time that it's not like walking into an emotional minefield of stress. Are you thinking of going?"

Addison nods. "Yeah, if you're okay with flying solo for a few days with Kate. It would probably be easier to go alone, and I don't expect to be there long. The timing is less than ideal since Lauren is in Michigan visiting with family for another week, but hospital daycare seems to be working out fine so far, and you can always utilize Savvy and Weiss if you need a breather. I was also thinking, that while I'm there…" she grins slowly. "Sprout is going to need godparents. I know it might be an odd thing to ask of an ex-husband, but -"

"I was thinking Derek and Meredith too," Mark admits. "They like our first-born, so I'm sure they'll like the second, too. And you know they'll say yes. So…what obnoxious Taylor Swift-way are you going to use to ask them?"

"I haven't thought that far ahead yet."

-

"But Mommy…" Kate says, trying her best not to whine while helping her mother pack her suitcase. It is hard though. She has asked several times now, but Mommy said that she is only going to Seattle for work and will be too busy to watch Kate, so she cannot bring her. Even Daddy said that Kate cannot go, and he pretty much never says no. "Bella-view has a daycare. Doesn't the hospital where Mer and Derek work have one too?"

"No, it doesn't," Addison replies, because sometimes lying is easier. "Do you want to help me with something else? I need a pair of dark blue shoes to go with the color blue in this shirt." She holds it out for Kate to see. "How about you grab a pair for me."

"Do you want pumps or do you want open toe ones?"

"How does she know that?" Mark asks quietly when Addison tells her daughter to surprise her, and Kate wanders to the other side of the master bedroom in search of the perfect shoes to complement her mother's outfit.

Addison laughs. "She's my daughter. She's like a mini-Addison that way."

"It probably also feels like she's a mini-Addison when she tries to incorporate some pretty sound logic into her argument for why you should take her with you to Seattle."

"Yeah. It really is like debating a younger version of myself. Or parenting a younger version of myself. I know it should just be flattering, but sometimes –"

"It's annoying as hell?" Mark interrupts with a smile, being sure to keep his voice low.

"It's annoying as hell."

-

Mark walks Addison to the front door, wheeling her suitcase for her even though she has stubbornly insisted she can do it, and what really is the point of him just pulling it across the living room since she will be carting it out the door and down to the apartment lobby by herself, anyway.

"Chivalry is the point, honey," Mark says with a grin. Her cab should be arriving any minute. With a kid, it's just so much easier to exchange goodbyes here. He thinks back to the last time they were in this situation though, when she was newly pregnant with Kate and married and things were so, so tender and nerve-wracking. Mark is grateful to not have that knot of tension in his stomach this time, to not be carrying around the fear that she won't come back. "Well, I hope the surgery goes well, and that you have a good time. Say hi to everyone. And remember –"

"Not to push myself too hard, I know." Addison wants to roll her eyes, but she does appreciate how much he cares. She gives Mark a long hug instead. "Love you," she says softly into his neck, and then lifts her head to whisper closer to his ear. "Your daughter is going to cry when I leave. Also, she only picked at a few strawberries and blueberries, so she's probably still a bit hungry."

"I know. I've got it under control," Mark assures her, pulling back from the hug so that Kate can get her turn. Kate was very insistent on wanting to be the last one to hug Mommy before she leaves, but she has been waiting patiently on the couch in the meantime. She is only half-interested in watching Daniel Tiger's Neighborhood at the moment though, and forgets the show entirely when Mommy gives her a hug and a kiss and tells her that she loves her to the moon and back and will call her tonight.

Kate starts to cry as soon as Mark shuts the front door behind Addison.

"Buddy…" Mark says sympathetically when he sees the tears falling down her cheeks. Kate holds her arms out, just like she would do as a baby when she wanted to be comforted. He quickly bends down to wrap her in his arms.

"I wanted to go too," she whimpers into his chest.

"I know. I know you did. But Mommy won't be gone for more than a few days. She's saving the lives of some babies and their mom, remember? She'll be back before you know it. Everything is going to be okay. What about if I play hooky today and we just do some fun stuff instead?"

"What is a hooky?" Kate looks up at him, one tear-stained cheek still crushed against his shoulder. Her distress definitely simmered though at the mention of fun stuff.

"It means I'm not going to go to work today, which means you don't have to go to daycare. What do you think, Katiebee?"

Kate gives him a watery smile. "Can we go to McDonald's?"

"Well, it's too early for lunch right now, but yeah, we'll definitely go to McDonald's later. What if we have pancakes in the meantime?"

"With chocolate chips?"

"Yep," Mark taps her on the nose, and she manages a wider smile. "You know that's the only way the Sloans eat them."

-

"How's my little girl doing?" Addison asks when she calls around eight PM New York time. Mark is barely able to get in a hello first, but her anxiousness about how Kate is coping does not surprise him; he knows he would have done the same thing if their roles were reversed.

"Lots of tears when you left, but she's doing better now. Much better. We had a fun day – I'll let her tell you about it though. She's washing her face and brushing her teeth right now…or supposed to be, at least. How's Seattle?"

"Wet. Rainy. But I met my patient, checked in with what felt like a million people, and I'll be in the OR first thing tomorrow. Oh, and Sprout officially has godparents," she says. She asked Derek and Meredith very casually over dinner; she is just too tired these days to embrace any creativity. "I just got back from their place. It's absolutely stunning, which of course gives me feelings about the fact that we don't have a home yet."

"Hey, we're working on that. I know none of the homes we've looked at yet really feel like 'ours' or have been what we're looking for, but we'll find something before the baby comes," Mark says gently. Also, you're making it sound like we're homeless, and we're definitely not, he thinks, but does not say.

"Yeah, I know," Addison sighs. "They told me afterwards that when they picked me up at the airport – in the jeep of Derek's that you know I hate – they both thought I looked pregnant. They were very, very quick to tell me that it's because I'm glowing though, not because of the noticeable bump…bright and shiny, they called it."

"Well, you are bright and shiny."

"Sometimes," she laughs. "Hey, you remember Alex Karev? The intern who wanted to go into plastics?

Mark rolls his eyes. "I remember you thought he was total man candy."

"Spoiler alert: he still is. But, anyway – I wanted to tell you that he actually has gone the Peds track. Did I call that or what?"

"You did. You're never wrong."

-

"This is my first time in a real tent," Kate giggles, smiling at her father. She just finished saying goodnight to Mommy and told her all about her fun day with Daddy, so she is feeling a lot better now.

Mark smiles back at her. Kate has wanted to go camping for a long time, and this afternoon while she was peacefully munching on the contents of her Happy Meal, an idea came to Mark. So this evening, they spread out a tablecloth and ate pizza on the floor, had microwaved s'mores for dessert, assembled a tent together (Savvy and Weiss were gracious enough to lend it to them), and placed Kate's galaxy projector nightlight outside the tent to mimic the appearance of sleeping under the stars.

Mark promises her that one day when she and Sprout are a bit older, the whole family will go on a real camping trip. Kate tells him (accurately) that she does not think Mommy will want to go camping.

He chuckles. "No, she probably won't, but she'll have fun once she gets there. Sometimes we all have to do things that aren't our favorite things. We both eat broccoli at dinner because it makes your mom happy, right?"

Kate smiles conspiratorially. "Yeah, but sometimes if Mommy's not looking, you eat my broccoli for me. But, Daddy…I don't think Mommy has shoes for camping."

"She can't wear high heels?" He teases.

"No," Kate responds, deadly serious. "That would make them look bad. They would get dirty and get little scratches on them. And that would make Mommy so sad."

"You're right. We'll make sure we buy Mommy some good shoes first. Okay, let's get going with reading, because it is way past your bedtime now. I actually have a new book for you that I think you'll like." Mark reaches behind his pillow for a book Addison ordered from Amazon around the time they told Kate she was going to be a big sister. "Do you want to go grab Madeline though? Or a second book?"

Kate shakes her head while getting Maggie the stuffed elephant settled in her lap. "No. I just want you to read the new book to me," she says, tapping a finger to the cover of the picture book, where a baby and doggy are lying on a blanket, flanked by a mommy and daddy. Kate knows all the letters of the alphabet, and is able to match some written words (this does not surprise them, because Addison was a voracious reader from an early age), but she likes it best when Mommy and Daddy read to her at night.

"Okay, good," Mark smiles. He feels like this is the perfect time to read this new book, since Addison is not here. His wife could not make it through You Were the First without crying when she skimmed it by herself. Kate nuzzles into his shoulder when he opens to the first page. Lots of pauses in his reading occur along the way for Kate to look over each picture, but eventually they make it to the end.

"You were the first to teach us how to be parents," Mark reads. "One day there may be a second or a third to sleep in the basket with the yellow ribbon wound round. But you will always be the first."

(Mark does not have tears in his eyes, but the words do stir some emotions in him, so he can definitely empathize with why this book made his wife cry.)

"I will always be the first because I was borned first," Kate says.

He nods. "Yes. You were born first. And that makes you so special to us, Katiebee."

"But…but will you love the new baby more than me?" She asks this so softly that Mark feels his heart clench. He and Addison figured this would come up eventually – Kate has been excited about the baby so far, but feelings of jealousy, confusion, and a fear of getting left behind were bound to come up at some point.

"Hey," he kisses the top of her head. "I am going to love you and your baby brother or sister the exact same amount. And you and me – and you and Mommy – will still get to do special things together. It will be different with a new baby at first, because babies can't take care of themselves and they can't do all the big girl things you can do. They need to get rocked to sleep, fed, and have their diapers changed. You're going to have so much fun with your little brother or sister though, and your mom and I are going to love you just as much as we do right now." He tucks a loose strand of hair that has escaped her ponytail back behind her ear. "And remember, it's like the book we just read: you are always going to be extra special to me because you're the first born. And you'll always be my little girl no matter how big you get."

-

Mark looks at his phone a few nights later when a text from Addison comes in around ten PM. He figures she is just requesting another update, even though he told her about an hour ago – when he received word that all the members of the second-generation trio were down for the night – that Kate is doing fine at Savvy and Weiss's. It is far from Kate's first sleepover at the twins' house, but Mark and Addison still always feel a little on alert, just in case she wakes up and wants to come home.

Instead, Mark blinks in surprise when he sees what she texted: I just landed. Moved my flight up. I'm grabbing a cab right now, so I'll see you in a half hour.

"Hey," he calls her immediately. "I didn't realize you were – I can come get you, Addie. Kate's not here and it's not like I have anything else going on, so it's not a problem."

"No, it's okay," Addison responds. He can hear her clearly, but it is definitely loud enough to indicate she is still within the walls of LaGuardia. "I could be home by the time you get here. I'll be safe – I'm hopping directly into a cab. Mark, I need you to do something for me though."

He assumes it is what she usually wants lately. "Sure. You want me to go get you a smoothie?"

"Nope. Get naked."

"Wait…what?"

"It's those damn elevators at Seattle Grace," Addison says throatily. "I swear they're like an aphrodisiac or something. Anywhere, there is that, and also the fact that I've reached the second trimester. Well, not officially for another week, but apparently the feelings that accompany the second trimester have already hit me right in the –"

"Addison," he interrupts with a laugh. "Do I need to end this call? As much as I love when you talk like this, may I remind you that you're in public right now?"

"Doesn't that make it hotter?"

"Probably, but still. I'm stripping off my clothes right now, but I don't know if I trust your over-sexualized self to revert back to a normal conversation right now. I love you and I'll see you soon, okay?"

"You have no idea how much I want you right now, Mark. Just thinking about you…I'm getting so –"

"Hanging up now, Addison."

Addison does not attempt to call him back, but while Mark waits for her to get home, he does receive many explicit text messages.

-

"I want to take you somewhere today," Mark says the following morning as he slides a smoothie over to Addison, and begins to prepare a cup of coffee for himself.

"Back to the bedroom?"

"No," Mark laughs and shakes his head. He knows he set himself up for that one. It was a long, long night. A good night, but a long one. And he's definitely feeling it this morning. How exactly she doesn't appear to be feeling it, and how she's not completely exhausted from everything he did with her and to her, Mark has no idea. "I shouldn't be surprised that's immediately where you went, but no. You need to give me some time to recover or neither of us is going to be able to walk out of here without limping. Our real estate agent emailed me some pictures this morning of a place that is about to be listed. She has an inside hookup, apparently. And the wife is a professor at Columbia, so we can definitely play the alumni card, too. But, look…" he abandons the coffee for now and comes over to her. He swipes his finger against the screen of his phone, showing her a few pictures. "It seems…perfect."

Addison's eyes light up. "Yeah, it does."

"And if this ends up being our house…" he nudges her shoulder playfully. "There are going to be so many rooms and surfaces that you and I are going to need to christen."

"God, please don't tell me things like that when basically everything is sexually arousing me right now."

"I'll do my best."