Chapter 6: Braids and Secrets
They work late into the night but eventually Thorin allows them to have a few hours rest to sleep and eat but he would wake them up to continue and finish the fortress before dawn. Their tools had practically dropped from their hands as Thorin gave the command. He held no sympathy for their tire, only muttering to himself as he goes back to pacing as he usually does for most of the nights. Only once has she ever seen him sleeping and even then, it was on the outskirts of the company's camp.
Gailien wanders back over to the brothers, handing them each a bowl of their midnight meal. They mutter their thanks, leaning against a thigh-high rock with a flat top. Gailien perches on top of the rock, crossing her legs. Her eyes are practically closed as she slurps the stew. Although Bombur usually cooks up a delicious meal, this one barely sparks any joy on her tongue.
It is an almost silent night, the only sound being small chatter made between a few members but even their topics are solemn. She hates it when it is like this. Their bowls lie astray nearby and Gailien lies across the rock, resting her head on a folded arm. Kili and Fili talk about things they've seen in Erebor, trying to imagine what it will look like when things are back in order.
She tries to sleep, even if for a few minutes but there is nothing in her mind or body that wills her into the peaceful serenity. To pass the time, she traces Elvish lettering onto Fili's neck where his hair has parted. He doesn't seem to mind. She spells his name, then Kili's and her own before moving onto random words that come to mind.
Eventually, the blond prince turns his head around with a small smile. "Go to sleep, Gailien."
"I have tried," she mumbles. "Move your head back, I wasn't finished with my word."
"You are going to put me to sleep if you keep doing that," he retorts but turns back around, nevertheless. Gailien parts his hair and finishes off her word.
"Is that not a good thing?"
Fili doesn't answer but she doesn't press him. He has his reason for doing things just as she does. Most of the Dwarves begin to find sleep. They are still near the fortress so their bedding is quite literally the softest part of the stones they can find. Which, as you could imagine, is a hard task. Bofur lies over a small stone, is back arching backwards but he seems in the deepest sleep of all of them. Dwalin seems to be able to sleep anywhere as well, just lying on the ground, facing the sky with his arms spread out on either side of him.
Her eyes drift over to Kili who has ended his conversation with Fili and is now invested in his hair. His arms are bent backwards, and it takes Gailien a good three minutes to even figure out what he is trying to do. The young prince has the top half of his hair in his grasp with three very uneven and wonky strands.
She doesn't do or say anything for a while, just continuing her tracing and watching Kili miserably fail at braiding. She always thought that he would be adept at it as are the rest of the company. He knows the concept of braiding, but he struggles with the execution which suggests that he is not used to actually doing it on himself.
Eventually, the Dwarf huffs to himself, letting his arms and hair fall limp.
"You were giving me a headache just watching you," she teases quietly. Fili it seems has actually fallen asleep. His head is tilted lopsided, lulled by the tracing. Kili glares at her.
"I've never done it before," he confesses. "At least not where I can't see."
Without much thought at what she is offering, Gailien says, "I can do it for you if you would like." As soon as it leaves her mouth, she realises how silly it is to offer. Her mouth opens to stutter an apology. "Oh, I'm-"
"Can you?"
Gailien frowns with slight concern at the pure innocence in his voice. He looks sheepishly at her from the corner of his eyes, fiddling with his fingers in his lap. Gailien sits up, nodding. "Of course I can."
Kili shuffles forward, giving her enough room to place her legs between his back and the rock. Slowly she reaches out, starting at his temple and tries to rake her fingers through the grab the top half but she runs into her first problem. "Sorry, I don't have a comb," Kili admits.
"That is no worry," she hums softly, a little worried for the state he seems to be in. "But I apologise if this hurts." As gently as she can, she begins to rake her fingers through his hair, untangling it. It has grown long since the beginning of their journey. "I remember when your hair barely touched your shoulders." It now brushes just below them.
"What about my beard?" he jokes. "Has that grown too."
"Definitely," she smirks as he tilts his head back to gauge her reaction. It earns a quiet laugh, his shoulders vibrating against her legs. She winces as she comes across a particularly bad knot but Kili doesn't even flinch as she untangles it.
To fill the silence, Gailien begins humming something from her childhood. There are no words in her memory of the tune, but it is soft, almost a lullaby. Kili smiles to himself, resisting the urge to just lay his head against her knee and fall asleep. His head moves around softly as her fingers pull through his hair. To keep himself awake, he takes her own trick. He pulls her foot forward by the ankle until her left leg is outstretched along his side and he begins tracing Dwarvish runes onto the top of her booted foot.
Finally, his hair is free of any entanglement and she reaches to his temples again. Her fingertips trace along his head, scooping up the top half into her palms. Brushing through it once more to smoothen, she separates it into three parts and begins braiding. Though she could do the entire thing in a matter of seconds, it is the only thing currently occupying her mind that isn't horrible to think about, so she takes her time doing so.
"I'm glad you came on this quest," Kili says out of nowhere. "I probably wouldn't even be alive without you, but I think you are the closest friend I've ever had if you don't count my brother."
Gailien smiles, feeling touched by his confession. Pinching the end of his braid, she leans down (ignoring the flare in her stomach). "You are a sweetheart Polodren er. I count myself as lucky to have even met any of you, let alone earning your friendship." She places a kiss on his cheek before sitting upright again, wincing as her side burns more so than it has for the past few days. "Do you have anything to tie this off with or do you want me to fetch one of my leather strips?"
"I have something." Kili digs into one of the inner pockets of his jacket underneath the chainmail he is wearing. To her surprise, he pulls out a Dwarvish bead. "I found it," he says. "When we first arrived in Erebor. I want to wear it to honour those who died here."
Gailien's face morphs into adoration. "That is very thoughtful. Do you want to put it on?"
"I don't want to mess up your work," he protests. His hand bends backwards with his palm facing upwards, the bead resting in it. Gailien looks at it with uncertainty for a moment but reaches out for it. She threads it through the end of his braid, securing it neatly and she takes a moment to look over it.
"As handsome as ever," she teases, signalling that she is done. Kili grins, reaching back to run his fingers over the style for himself.
"More than Fili?" he questions, turning around partially to rest his elbow on the rock. Gailien lifts one leg, bringing it back with the other. She shuffles down, lying back on her back so her head is next to his.
"Stop competing," she answers with soft laughter. "I love you both equally."
"That doesn't answer my question," Kili counters with a small smirk. Gailien rolls her eyes, laughing to herself.
"I'm not going to compare you," she says. She glances over at Fili who is still sleeping in his awkward position. She debates moving him someplace comfier, but he is a light sleeper and she doesn't want to risk waking him.
"Fine," he says with a dramatic sigh. The back of his head rests against the stone as he looks up to the ceiling, but he smiles, rolling his head back to look at her. Gailien raises an eyebrow in question to his expression but he only shakes his head.
"You are a dork," she giggles. Kili gives her a half-grin, tilting his head to his shoulder as if to say; what can you do? Her breathing deepens as they both lie relaxed against the stone, letting the silence fill the air once again. She has no idea how long they have until Thorin comes to wake them back up, but she hopes they have a little longer as her stomach has yet to calm back down.
"Can I braid your hair?" Gailien opens her eyes back up – which she didn't even realise had closed. Kili is looking at her with curious eyes. "I just want to practice."
Gailien nods, leaning back up. "Whatever you want Kee," she hums. She slides off the edge of the rock as Kili stands, taking her original seat. She settles with her legs crossed underneath her, Kili sitting behind her. She unties the leather strap holding her hair together, letting her hair fall loose.
By now they are almost the only other people awake. Balin still sits upright, silently keeping to himself near the fortress, a little way over from the rest of them. He starts raking his fingers through his hair, attempting to take even and straight amounts. He does a lot better now that he can see what he is doing, and her longer hair gives him more room to hold onto. His legs swing side to side gently, tapping against the sides of her thighs rhythmically.
But now with no distraction for herself, her mind is allowed to run loose. Kili's idea of using a bead to honour the people of Erebor only reminds her of Thorin's honouring by cutting his beard. Her eye's close to try and keep away the emotion as she remembers him as he used to be. The night of the feast would have been one of her favourite nights if it had not ended with her nearly slapping Kili.
She glances to the half-built fortress, but it only makes her feel sick once more, so her eyes shift to Bofur who lays straight ahead, snoring slightly. But it is too late. Her bottom lip begins to tremble as her eyes screw shut. Trying to push it down only makes it worse and she sniffs softly but Kili hears it.
His hands drop from her hair and he quickly slides off the rock down next to her. Gailien keeps her head low, her chest heaving with each sniffle. "Hey," he coos. He brushes her fallen hair out of her face. "Let's go outside," he whispers. With hands under her elbows, Kili leads her up and guides her out of their makeshift camp. Gailien follows, feeling the tears' cold streaks rolling down her cheeks.
Kili takes her outside to the balcony that she comes out to normally for a break. The moon is high and bright making the night easy to see in even if they had human eyes. He pulls her down, so they are sitting against the wall, looking out over to Dale. His arm wraps around her shoulders and he links his other hand with it.
Gailien finally breaks down and her quiet whimpers turn into sobs as she turns to plant her face in his shoulder to hide. "This is not how we expected everything to be, is it?" he asks. Gailien nods, linking her hands behind his neck to hold her position. His own shift down to her torso instead as he stares blankly out at Dale.
Why couldn't things just have gone smoothly? That Thorin stayed sensible and paid what is owed and they could start rebuilding Erebor rather than block everybody else out. She wants to help Thorin – to become himself again but she cannot do that if she continually goes against him in protest. But where is the balance of guiding him and still being loyal?
He rests his chin on her head sucking his lips as he tries to remain stonily. Gailien's sobs soon turn to soft trembles but she keeps her head tucked away until something drops onto her head. She frowns, peering up to find Kili's cheek decorated in a track of water. "Something's in my eye," he chokes out, the words ending in a small laugh. Gailien croaks out her own, reaching up and wiping the tracks away.
"I won't tell Fili," she teases. "He's already tried to embarrass you enough recently." Not that Fili would truly tease his brother about such a thing – or the situation as a whole.
"What?" Gailien's eyes widen slightly as Kili peers at her with curious scrutiny. "I don't know what you're referring to."
"Don't worry about it," she says.
"No, tell me," he pushes, leaning back to so can look at her as she tries to hide her face.
Gailien shakes her head, smiling. "Don't worry, it didn't really work. He was just trying to spill your secrets to me."
Kili shifts, leaning back into the wall. "Alright then, I'll spill one of his," he announces. He thinks for a moment and Gailien is almost about to tell him to not do such a thing, but he blurts it out before she can form the words. "Not only had Ori almost walked on you bathing, Fili actually did when we were at Beorn's."
Gailien's mouth drops as she stares at the younger brother. Then her memory starts to rewind. "Is that why he was looking at me funny on the third morning?!" she gasps. Kili nods giving her a look of faux sincerity and he hums affirmatively.
"Came back as red as the apple on Beorn's trees," he sings in recollection. Gailien snorts, shifting so she also faces outwards, resting the back of her head on his shoulder. "He should be glad that Thorin never found out. Ori really did nearly cry, and he didn't even actually see you. I convinced the others to let Fili be the one to bring you your stuff during the, uh, incident in Lake-town. I got a good heel in the toe when he got back."
The pair laugh softly but truly. "Eh," she shrugs with a small smirk. "I suppose we're even now. I saw all of you back in Rivendell." Kili laughs softly, moving his hand further down so it is not being squished by the rocks.
As Kili's hand rests on her side, his brows begin to furrow as something covers his hand. He pulls his hand away, holding it up to the moonlight. The entirety of his palm and fingers are covered in bright fresh blood. He looks down to Gailien with wide eyes then down to her side where there is a growing patch of darkness. Almost scared, he slowly pulls the side of her blouse up. The entire side of the bandage has soaked through.
"It hurts," Gailien whispers, knowing exactly what he is seeing. She could feel it but in all honestly, she just didn't want to deal with it. She didn't want to admit to Kili that he had been right. She didn't want to wake Oin or ask anybody else. She wanted to ignore the problem when she already has so many to deal with. "I'm sorry. I know I was angry at you for doing the same thing."
"I'm taking you to Oin," he declares, already moving onto his knees. He tries not to show the absolute horror of having her blood on his hands' show. Gailien only sighs in resignation knowing he is right. She begins to pull herself up but Kili is already heaving her into their air.
"I can still walk," she says drily.
"Do you know what Karr'a means?" he asks, ignoring her remark. Gailien shakes her head. It is part of the name that they have started calling her. Kili strides back through the halls, not looking down at her. "It means sister."
All the tension in her face drops and for a moment the pain in her side numbs as she stares at Kili. He still doesn't look at her, his face set forward as hers jostles around slightly near his shoulder. She has been thinking that it might've been something teasingly affectionate like her first name for Kili was.
It takes her a moment to realise that have reached the others. Kili gently kicks his brother first who jumps awake, almost falling sideways as he was tilting so far when he slept. He looks around slightly dazed, but he watches as Kili continues walking past him, Gailien's head resting lazily on his shoulder.
Fearing the worst, he leaps to his feet, running after them but as he nears them, he finds that Gailien is well awake, blankly staring at his younger brother. Fili trails behind them silently as Kili nudges Oin awake with his boot next.