Chapter 23

He's cocooned in warmth. Safety. Security. His senses are overwhelmed by the scent of usagi and contentment suffuses his entire being. He feels her fingers stroking his face. This is a good dream. Then there are little sparks of kisses along his jaw and he sighs. Oh he enjoyed these moments with her. He never wanted any of this to end. So he was going to enjoy this while he was able to do so. usagi voice breathes into his ear and it sends glittering shocks along his spine. He shivers deliciously.

"Kylo, wake up …" said usagi

A soft kiss is pressed against his lips and he begins to realize usagi is actually here. She's in his arms and he slowly opens his eyes. He freezes as he comprehends that he's still in her sitting room. What time is it? He takes in her beautiful face, her sleepy eyes, and he relaxes back into the delicious comfort of holding his beloved. He smiles at her gently and runs his fingers through her hair.

"Hello, sweetheart." Purred kylo

"We fell asleep," said usagi

"I see that." Said kylo

"It's morning. I wouldn't have woke you, but I didn't know when you're expected at … uhm … work." Said kylo

"What is it?" asked usagi

"You needed rest, not to have an uncomfortable night sleeping out here." Said kylo

"I was quite comfortable, actually. I think it helped, sleeping with the Bond open like that. I feel fine, good even." Chirped usagi

The Bond, however, is empty now; she's already withdrawn. He wishes he'd waded into the rivers of usagi while he'd had the chance, but he'd needed to simply float along her last night. He finds he can't truly regret his choice. He looks into her expressive eyes, hoping she truly is feeling better. But he still felt bad that they slept on the sofa all night long, but sadly he wont complain about it. He enjoyed waking up with her.

"Are you sure you're alright?" asked kylo

"You worry too much." Said usagi

"Well I wouldn't have to if you hadn't put yourself in danger like that," grumbled kylo

Kylo was pulled into the memory of her pallid skin after she'd given too much to the Esharan.

He grasps her to him but she pulls back and regards him, her eyes flashing with annoyance. But whatever he was still on about that. It's a thing she us known to do to save lives. But the first to heal someone that. They're still sitting side-by-side and she tentatively reaches her hand out, inviting him to curl his fingers with hers. But he wants her much closer than that so he opens his arms. Swiftly she returns to his side; she fits so perfectly there. He closes his eyes as he presses her head against his chest and her hand goes to his heart. Kylo puts the most recent conflict from his mind and concentrates on the delectable feeling of his beloved's small form tucked under his chin. He went years with as little contact with another person as possible. Now there's a physical sensation of pain when he's not able to touch her. When he's away from her, it hurts. His skin aches for her, as if it's pulled too tight across his frame. Kylo kneads at his chest with her fingers. He's noticed that she tends to touch him actively. He does it too, not content with just holding her. he must stroke and grasp. It's as if their fingers need to constantly reaffirm that the other is there, pulsing and alive under their hands.

"I liked waking up in your arms," said usagi

Usagi like the cat he had as a boy, insistent for affection. He will never deny her. He savors the texture of her hair as he cards his hand through her waves. He's probably spent a week's worth of hours imagining what her silver hair would feel like. So many fantasies coming true. He hums at the thought of her hair trailing along his bare chest as she works her way down his body … But now is not the time for that.

"I liked waking up to your kisses." Purred kylo

"I meant it, you know, what I said last night." Said usagi

"That you will train with Vitok?" asked kylo

"Well, yes, but I was talking about how I feel about you. That I … I'm … about how… Yesterday you talked about how hard it is to be away from me, what it does to you. It's hard for me, too." Saidcusagi

kylo wants to understand what she's saying, she's obviously trying to tell him that he does matter to her, but all he can hear is that he will need to leave soon. That she needs that cursed time. His breath comes quickly and the familiar hollowness sweeps through his chest. This isn't happening, but he cant stop the feeling he was getting.

"Stop, please," said usagi

"Stop what?" asked kylo

"I can see the panic beginning. I'm not going anywhere. It's just a few days. Then we'll see each other. We'll write. Having time to think, adjust … it helps. We were having a nice time before everything went to hell. I mean … weren't we?" asked usagi

"Yes! Yes. Very much so."said kylo

"See? It was good for us. I'm coming to terms with what's happened. At first it was too much, I couldn't keep up with … everything. But I'm learning to make a sort of peace with it. I don't think you know how much it means to me that you are giving me space just because I'm asking you too. That's all I ever wanted, really, for you to listen to me. Please don't be so sad when it's time to go." Said usagi

She's still looking up at him and her eyes are full of entreaty. As difficult as her way of navigating their relationship is for him, she is right. Allowing her to set the pace has resulted in her opening up to him, sharing her memories and thoughts, her affection and desire. He whispers a caress along her forehead before again catching her eyes. Those blue eyes that he loves. They reminded him of pools of the water and sky.

"I'm still going to miss you." Said kylo

"I'll miss you, too. I think that's good." Said usagi

Usagi captured his lips, kissing him fiercely. It takes him a moment to catch up, but he's right there with her by the time her soft tongue slides into his mouth. Their lips fused, she shifts until she's straddling him. Her hands run through his hair and he groans. He smoothes his hands along her back, imagining the expanse of her skin hidden under her tunic.

Kylo just wants to spend the day just like this. The wild lust is building in them both, but she wants to move slowly. And, honestly, so does he. While it would be bliss to give in to the exquisite tension, he will only have this time with usagi once and he wants to savor each new discovery. She should be unwrapped with care, each of her treasures enjoyed thoroughly before moving on to the next.

So he ignores what it does to him to feel the heat of her center pressed against his urgent hardness, focusing instead on her tender mouth and the sparks of pleasure that always accompany her hands in his hair.

Then her fingers dance along one of his arms and she's grasping his hand. She guides it away from her back and at first he's confused. Oh ... Oh Force, her firm breast beneath his palm is utter perfection. He's trying, desperately, to control himself, but then he feels her nipple tighten as he strokes the sensitive tissue with his thumb. She's not wearing anything beneath her tunic and a strangled whimper falls from his lips. He rolls the taught bud between his fingers and she gasps into his mouth. He's trying to remember why he must hold himself in check.

He's never explored a woman's body with his bare hands before, and there's something about how her breast feels under his fingers that speaks to a primal part of him. It's all he can do to keep from tearing the cloth from her body and pulling her breast into his mouth. He continues to circle her nipple with his thumb and she's mewling and panting against him. Their foreheads are touching, eyes closed. His breathing has grown harsh.

They open their eyes and usagi sits back a bit further on his lap so that she can look hold his gaze. Deliberately, she takes his hand, pulling it from her chest while grasping his other wrist. His fingers twitch to feel her again, but then she's moving his hands, pushing them up under her tunic. She wants him to …? Her eyes are searing into his as she places his hands over her breasts. He can't see them, not yet, but Maker, their slight weight in his palms has him in awe.

Kylo squeezes them slightly and she arches into his touch. How can slight swells of flesh feel so good? He suddenly feels like an innocent, flush with discovery. He glides his fingers over the silken softness of her skin, fascinated by how the texture changes as he reaches the pebbled skin of her areola. He watches her face, enraptured by how the pleasure moves across her face. Her eyes are closed now, her cheeks flushed. Her swollen lips are parted and she lets out little pants. Just as he had over her tunic, he swirls his thumbs around each needy peak and usagi is crying out. He's never heard such sounds before. She's almost sobbing. His cock throbs painfully.

Before he's really accepted that he's being allowed this experience, her eyes are again on his and she's pulling her tunic from her body. He breaks their eye contact, needing to see what she's revealed. He blinks, not truly believing that he's seeing her lovely breasts bared to him. She's magnificent. The sight of all that creamy skin pulls a guttural moan from his throat. But then he notices that she's stilled. He looks up at her face and finds nervousness she won't meet his eyes. Much as he wants to continue to limn her body with his fingers, instead he cups her cheek with his hand, placing the other at the dip of her waist. He tries to get her to look at him but she keeps her gaze averted. He's not sure what's wrong. Is she insecure? He knows she doesn't believe that she's beautiful.

"You're exquisite," said kylo

Her eyes flit to his for just a moment but then she's again looking away. She shakes her head and pulls her arms tighter across her chest. He tries to soothe her by stroking his hand along the small of her back and drawing his fingers lightly across her cheek. Slowly she moves her eyes to his and she looks impossibly young. He wraps his arms around her and pulls her down until she's nestled against his chest. She's trembling.

"usagi … it's alright." Said kylo

"I thought … I wanted … but then …" said usagi

"I understand, I do," croon kylo

"I don't know what to do with everything inside me. Believe me I done this before. It's just different now," said usagi

"You don't need to rush yourself." said kylo

"I wasn't … I didn't think I was, at least. I just needed to be closer, needed to do something to make this ache go away. But then … I ..." said usagi

"Shhhh … you don't need to explain. We'll take as long as you need, sweetheart. Just let me hold you." Said kylo

She nods against his chest. He holds her close, stroking her hair, covering her nakedness with his embrace. Her trembling subsides. He knows why she was self conscious. It was because all of her cursed markings all over her. He hated then but he thinks she more beautiful than anything he has ever seen. He asked the others if a cure to them. But they said there was none they tried and made them worst. But tight now he enjoyed this day very much.

Meanwhile two hours later

Kylo walks to the bridge. He'd helped her re-dress and sensed she needed time to herself. He hadn't wanted to leave, but he can't deny that giving usagi space yields much better results than when his frantic, possessive need to be with her takes away his reason. He'll see her again in a handful of days. Until then, she will train with Vitok in the mornings and spend her afternoons with zoycite. She's reaffirmed that she will write to him. She'd kissed him goodbye with such tenderness that he'd been able to keep the panic at leaving her from overtaking him. He finds Vitok in the training room set aside for the Knights of Ren. She's practicing forms with her helmet off. He removes his own, as has become his habit when alone with Vitok.

"You weren't in your quarters earlier this morning when I came for our regular training. Hux didn't know where you were. Clearly things are going quite well," said Vitok

Vitok teases with an arched brow as if she knew. Draco left snickering. He glared at his future stepson as if he knew what was going on. Tamaki left with him. While hikaru and karou gave him the I know what you did with our mother look, but she coming to stand in front of him. When Kylo doesn't say anything she smirks. he frowns. He doesn't want Vitok to think that he'd taken advantage of usagi weakened state.

"We fell asleep in her sitting room. It's not what you're thinking. I wouldn't … not after yesterd-" said kylo

"I know that. I only meant that things are … progressing." Said vitok

"Ah, well. Yes. Things are progressing, I was actually hoping to talk to you about something instead of train. We're nearly out of time as it is." Said kylo

"Yes?" asked vitok

"usagi has agreed to study the Force and mix it with her lunarian powers, but only with you. I would like you to teach her." Said kylo

"You want me to teach usagi a lunarian queen who happens to be my mother in law?" asked vitok slowly.

"Please. Yesterday … she needs to know what she's capable of. She's so powerful yet she wields the Force with abandon. But the silver crystal power was trying to mix with it. I need her to be able to defend herself, to know her limits. She will be a joy to train," explained kylo

A fond smile pulls at Vitok's lips. She knows usagi and know if her stories from others. But it wont take much training, but she will help kylo with this one. It's as if that he trust her with her. That is enough for her. Plus draco and a lot of the others seemed to enjoy training, kenpachi likes to come and train as well. But this was a step forward for kylo and she is very proud if him, he was making things better for him, and not being a moron.

"I have no doubt about that. Of course I will. I've never had an apprentice before." Said vitok

Kylo flinches. He hadn't thought of something so formal. He doesn't like the idea of anyone but him being her master. This is temporary, he's sure of it. As they grow closer, of course she will want him to be the one to unleash her staggering potential.

"I had thought perhaps you would simply guide her," said kylo

Kylo stays silent and Vitok purposefully catches his eyes, looking at him meaningfully. Finally he lets out a frustrated breath. He detests Vitok's logic. Not ready to accept the death of this dream, he says through clenched teeth. as she explains things that would be different if he did train usagi, so he would let vitok do this job. Plus he knows he can trust her. But for now he was happy on how things are going in his and usagi relationship. Vitok draws back and he instantly regrets his bearing but he doesn't apologize he is still the Supreme Leader and Master of the Knights of Ren. He watches as disappointment moves through her eyes.

This fantasy runs deep, he's wanted this from the moment he realized usagi was Force sensitive with her lunarian blood. It had taken him quite some time to realize he wanted everything from her, and having her as his apprentice is woven thickly through his plans. He has no wish to untangle this desire from his visions of their future. Vitok looks at him for a long moment. Vitok agreed to do what was asked but with a formality that makes him feel returns to moving her way through forms and Kylo leaves silently. Kylo strides onto the bridge, feeling unsettled from how he'd left Vitok. He shouldn't have treated her like that.

"General Hux, meet me in my office," demanded kylo

"Yes, sir." Said hux

Once the door closes, Hux stands expectantly in front of his desk as he takes his seat. With minako with him, the scout of venus has been good for hux, plus he knows how loyal she is to usagi, she has brought so much help to the first order. He would be forever grateful to her. Plus it seemed love has been popping up everywhere in the first order. It kinda nice to see a lot of happy in the first order.

"what news from Eshara?" asked Kylo

"We have identified the group responsible. They call themselves the Shar Faen. Apparently it is the name of a deity from one of their religious traditions. The goddess of prosperity. Unfortunately, they've gone to ground and we've not been able to find out much more than that. No leader has identified themselves though the group did claim responsibility. Analysts have confirmed it, they matched materials used to destroy the mine to components from an earlier event. Shar Faen destroyed an apparel shop of all places." Said hux

Kylo is tempted to go back down to the surface himself and start ripping through minds, but he knows that's not practical. He yearns to once again be on the ground, acting instead of waiting. A day spent exerting his will on others would surely excise the frustration thrumming through his body. Minako arched a brow at kylo. But she left she been checking on zoycite since she us still being watched.

"Send a team down, I won't leave the investigation to local authorities." Said kylo

"Already done, sir. They were on the ground approximately 30 minutes after the explosion." Said minako

"Fine. I want every single member of this Shar Faen found. I won't have the First Order undermined in this way." Hissed kylo

"Yes, sir." Said Hux

"What, Hux?" asked kylo

"May I ask … may I ask how she is this morning?" asked hux

Kylo regards him through his mask. The reminder of her ordeal stings. He should be with her, ensuring she truly is recovered. Rather quickly, but he was not going to be taken anymore steps of her pulling that stunt again. Even though it was not the first time she done this. But either way he hated to have to see her after.

"She is well." Said kylo

"That is excellent news, Supreme Leader." Chirped hux

Hux looks down for a moment. And left to see what his wife was up to, hux knew that she has been worried. But he thinks she went to see usagi, so he was going to head there. Kylo sighed and was left to his thoughts and turned to look out on the stars. As he thought about his beloved. Oh how she gifted him with something that he wished will happen again. Kylo got distracted, he has been all day. He cycles through regret for losing his temper with Vitok, worry that usagi will have some sort of relapse, then choking on need. He can't stop thinking about the feel of her firm breasts in his hands.

kylo really going to have to do something about this soon. Everything makes him think of her. Yesterday has left him an emotional wreck. He'd almost lost her; then she told him that she's halfway in love with him. All he wants to do is be back in her rooms, but he knows she needs time. Though he's come to detest that word, he's beginning to understand why she needs it. She's not like him in matters like these, tearing forward, consequences be damned. She's cautious, thoughtful. She leads with her head, not with her heart.

He sighs and sits back in his chair, looking at nothing. He can almost feel her lips against his. Who knew a kiss could be so many different things? A whisper of devotion, a branding of lust … a moment of pure love. The way her little pink tongue feels when she darts it into his mouth … Maker, he has to stop thinking about her. Not even his voluminous clothing can hide how hard she makes him, and eventually someone is going to notice. It's late, perhaps she's written to him. He checks and finds a short missive.

Thank you for taking care of me. Where did you learn to change sheets? You need a teacher …

He grins at her reference. It lightens something within him that she's willing to tease him about that. Perhaps she is beginning to forgive him. How can he miss her so much when he only left her this morning?

Meanwhile the following day

Kylo wakes, already feeling restless. This morning usagi begins training with Vitok. It's a bittersweet feeling. He's grateful she will be honing her skills with his trusted knight, but he had always assumed he would be the one to show her the beauty of the Force and mix it with her lunarian powers. But Vitok will teach her well. He should say something, acknowledge that she hadn't deserved to bear the brunt of his frustration. His skin is prickling with pent up want. He can tell the madness is beginning again. Being apart from her is devouring his reason once more.

Meanwhile a little while later

usagi is working with Vitok right now. He wonders if they've decided to train in her quarters or in the knight's training room. He could go see … catch a glimpse of her if they've chosen the larger space set aside for the Knights of Ren. That would be acceptable, wouldn't it? They're his knights, after all. It would be perfectly reasonable for him to be there. He's standing up from behind his desk when Hux walks in.

"Supreme Leader, there's something you should see." Said hux

"Fine, what is it?" asked kylo

"I've just sent it to your datapad. Apparently the events on Eshara were recorded." Said hux

Kylo sits back down and picks up the device. He finds what appears to be a holo clip waiting for him.

He begins the holo and he's greeted with his own image, moving away the remains of the burning building. Then it cuts to him and the stormtroopers digging out the survivors, followed by a lingering shot of the frantic Esharan holding his wife as they both sob into each other. It's overly sentimental, but he can't help smiling slightly behind his mask. He hopes they're both healing well.

The scene shifts and now he's kneeling behind usagi in her cosmos form, holding her, whispering in her ear. The expression on his face is tender and pleading; his eyes are hollow with fear. He flinches at the reminder of how she'd nearly destroyed herself. He watches as he sees the holo of himself and usagi heal that man. He'd not noticed the way the silver crystal and force power had swirled around her, making her glow with an ethereal beauty, but the holo captures both the her power and her glow exquisitely.

She truly was meant to hold life and death in those delicate hands. There has never been her equal and he's entranced by the image they make. Light and dark, her small form dwarfed by his frame. They are balance embodied and he's reminded again that he was going to try to see her.

The burned man opens his eyes and Kylo's breath catches as he sees usagi collapse into his arms. He's about to shut it off, impatient to see usagi,

"Wait, there's more." Said hux

Kylo returns his attention to the holo and it's a long shot of him holding usagi as her transformation disappeared. He was looking down on her with absolute adoration. He didn't know his face could look like that. It's all there, for anyone to see, how completely he loves her. His eyes are brimming with it. He's torn between rage that this private moment was captured and an odd sort of pride in how no one could ever deny his feelings.

"Fine, it was recorded. What of it?" asked kylo

"I don't think you understand, sir. It's everywhere. I mean absolutely everywhere. It was released to the news networks and it's all that's playing on the holonet across the galaxy." Said hux

"You mean to tell me that my face is being broadcast throughout the systems!" hissed kylo

kylo turning over his chair as he swiftly stands. Panic quickly overtakes him, with no regard for his current audience. this was not good, most of all usagi power was out in the open, this was not good at all. Hux seemed to have a lot of worry in his eyes as well, he wondered what he was going to do about this, his poor usagi.

"That is exactly what I'm telling you." Said hux

kylo never felt so exposed in his life. He's hidden his face for nearly seven years now. Maker, it's only a matter of time before someone makes the connection. Within a day every being will know that Kylo Ren and Ben Organa are one and the same. He's gone to such lengths to destroy that weak, foolish child. The thought of the galaxy knowing that Kylo Ren is the son of Leia Organa and Han Solo, heroes of the Galactic Civil War, leaves him utterly cold. It will all come back, just like when his relationship to Darth Vader was revealed. The constant dissection, the ignorant suppositions. His face … his face … something he hated deeply having people know about his heritage.

He needs to move. He begins to pace back and forth, eating the length of his office in frantic strides. His helmet feels oppressive and he rips it from his head, throwing it across the room. It makes a satisfying thunk as it bounces off the wall. Back and forth he continues, his fists opening and closing. He'd done everything he could to wipe that boy out of existence unspeakable, unnatural things but apparently he will always haunt him. Dimly, he becomes aware that Hux is trying to get his attention.

"... good thing!" said hux kylo hears the last of Hux's sentence.

"What did you just say?" asked kylo

"This only helps the First Order. This is an exceptional opportunity, this is a good thing." Said hux

"How can this possibly be a good thing! My face, Hux! They know my face!" hissed kylo

"Exactly! I couldn't have organized this better had I tried. And believe me, I have been trying. It's not been easy to use your ascension to Supreme Leader to our advantage. But this, sir, don't you see?" asked hux

"See what?" asked kylo

kylo can't quite stop the maelstrom of panic and helplessness from continuing to well up within him. That woman-surely she's seen this by now. And dammit, why is he wondering if she would be proud of him? And bad enough they were behind what happen when usagi was with himmonntheir trip to the planet.

"The entire galaxy has now seen that the Supreme Leader of the First Order cared more about saving his people than hiding his face. We've always had difficulty with our image. We're seen as brutal, cruel. But the first time you're seen you saved First Order citizens, victims of a cowardly terrorist attack. Then you helped heal a doomed man. And, to provide just the right touch of humanity, you looked at the moon queen like she hung every star in the known universe. The net has exploded with support. This is the best thing to happen for the First Order since we took our first system." Said hux

kylo has grown distinctly unnerved by Hux's gleeful tone. The general seems almost happy.

He knows he should share some of Hux's enthusiasm, that the general's analysis is correct. Objectively he can see that this does play very well to the masses. But he can't shake how being so exposed fills him with dread.

"But … my face …" said kylo

"The time for intimidation is over. The moon queen has changed everything. You should see what they're saying about her." Said hux

"What are they saying about usagi?" asks kylo dangerously.

"Nothing you would take issue with. Frankly, they love her. She's a jedi who is the lunarian queen who tamed the beast." Said hux

He doesn't like the idea of billions of people watching, thinking, gossipingabout hisusagi. They don't get to have opinionsabout her. Though he supposes he rather likes that his citizens see how special she is. usagi. He was going to try to see usagi today. Now he needsto see usagi. He strides over to his fallen helmet and thrusts it over his face.

"Where are you going? We need to discuss how to leverage this to its fullest advantage," said Hux his mood still disturbingly good.

"Do whatever you think is best. The entire galaxy knows what I look like now and I don't really care how we respond. I'm going to check in with Vitok Ren. Usagi began her training with her this morning." Said kylo

"Very good, sir. I'm sure Vitok will do well by the the queen. I gave my congratulations to the young prince to be married to her." Said hux

Hux's lips form a soft smile. He heard minako about how hux does have a thing for usagi. But hux loves his wife though. Kylo has s seen more emotional range from his obnoxious second in the last fifteen minutes than he has in all of the previous years they've worked together. It is … disturbing. He has to get out of here. It's not until he's stalking down the corridors that he realizes Hux called her Vitok instead of Vitok Ren.

Meanwhile a little while later

Kylo strides into the knights' training room and finds Natan and Wylan sparring. He stops short, the waves of furious jealousy taking his breath away. He's not seen Wylan since he nearly crushed the life from him. Well, not with his own eyes. He remembers well the way his rival had behaved when alone with his beloved. A growl forms, low in his throat.

"You," hissed kylo

Wylan is on his back, once again pinned by Kylo's superior power. He holds the hated man to the training mat but does not squeeze. He just watches him, breathing hard. But they all knew the hate the man. But then again there man did try to steal the wrong mans woman.

"Supreme Leader, Wylan Ren has only recently been released from the med bay. Do you truly wish to take this course of action?" asked Natan

His voice is gentle, but there is strength running through his tone. Kylo says nothing as he claws his way out of his pit of rage. He reminds himself that all usagi had told him was that she didn't like Wylan. She'd never revealed to him how vulgar Wylan had been. A week in the med bay was sufficient punishment for Wylan's actions on Vren and he wouldn't be able to explain a return trip to usagi. He relaxes his hold on Wylan and steps back, eyeing the man with a calculating gaze through his mask. No, he wouldn't be able to explain that at all.

Natan helps Wylan to his feet. Kylo wishes they weren't wearing their helmets. He wants to know if Wylan looks afraid. He could dip into his mind, but Wylan was always rather good at deflecting invasions of that sort and would know in an instant if he attempted it. Once Wylan is standing in front of him, straight and proud,

"You will not speak to usagi in the future." Hissed kylo

"So she told you about our conversation? How she was at my side during my recovery?" asked Wylan

Kylo is absolutely certain that this miserable excuse for a Knight of Ren is leering under his mask. His tone of voice is certainly smug enough to indicate it. Kylo's blood boils at the memory of Rey's small hand curled around Wylan's. He knows it was innocent, but he can't fully rid himself of the fury that shetouchedhim. Kylo grinds his teeth so hard he's surprised one of them doesn't crack. But he's certain neither usagi nor Vitok would forgive him if he kills this man, and he's already behaved poorly with Vitok.

"She told me that you were rude and that she did not wish to see you again. As I said. You will not speak to her. In fact, you will not be in the same room with her." Hissed kylo

"We couldn't have her wondering if she'd made the right choice, now could we, SupremeLeader." Said Wylan

His whole body tenses with the need to crash his fists into Wylan Ren's face and not stop punching until nothing remained but blood and bone. The distance between them disappears in two swift strides and Kylo holds his face inches from Wylan's. Kylo's voice drops to a threatening hiss.

"There is no choice to make, Wylan Ren. Do not test me or I will kill you, Knight of Ren or no one will save you" hisses kylo

"Come, let us spar another time." Said natan

Wylan holds his body rigidly, refusing to back down. Natan lays a thin hand on his shoulder. Finally, Wylan nods curtly and the two knights exit the room, leaving Kylo alone in the empty training space.

Without his anger to fuel him, all he's left with is the knowledge that she's not here. He needs her after having been so shaken by the knowledge that the entire galaxy has seen his face. He won't think about that. He feels empty. Defeated. Will it always be like this? Being so close but never close enough?He leaves the training room's floor littered with the remains of six sparring droids. If usagi doesn't like it, she can tell him herself.

Meanwhile a hour later

The walk back to the bridge has calmed him. Well, that and the destroyed droids. Kylo stands by the large view screen, watching Eshara as they orbit slowly. Behind him, the usual hum of activity gives him a sense of normalcy. Hux will soon be pressuring him to order their return to the fleet, but he's not willing to leave until the terrorists on Eshara are caught. They may have their best people investigating, but that's not good enough for him. He wants to ensure that those responsible will suffer. Kylo intends to cut a swath through their organization that will be felt throughout the galaxy. He will make it clear to all sentient life that no one is safe from his vengeance. If you hurt usagi or cause her to be hurt, you die. usagi will be the safest person in all known space.

He misses her intensely. Waking with her yesterday had been sublime. He wants to hold her to him every night. He's trying to be patient, but she's so close. He thought he'd found a sort of aching peace after he'd hurt zoycite. Keeping away from usagi, in a way, it was not unlike how he uses … used his blade. Instead of drawing the knife along his arm, he'd punished himself by not seeing her. But now that she's shared with him everything he learned from violating zoycite mind and he's begun to make amends directly to the stormtrooper silver knight herself, he's having difficulty again. Giving usagi her time feels less like penance and more like torture. He's having to rely on his own flawed self-control and he's not sure how much longer he can keep himself from her door.

If he could only have a few minutes with her, see her face … but no, he must wait fivemoredays. When has time ever moved more slowly?

He wishes he still had the images of her. He knows he could request duplicates from the analysts, but he's certain that would anger usagi and he's managed to keep from inciting her temper recently. He'd like to keep it that way. Maker knows how long she'd shut him out for that offense. It's not as if he needs any help to imagine her features. Then he remembers … the holo from Eshara that is presently blaring across the holonet.

He turns sharply from the view screen and strides to his office. He brings up the holo and skips to the moment where he slips his arms around her. It is then that he pauses the recording, his eyes attempting to take in the entirety of usagi in her cosmos from as her golden moon appears on her forehead. Her eyes are drained, but her expression is tranquil. She's leaning into him and he can almost feel the weight of her small body against his chest. He's shaken by the realization that she trusts him. There had been no hesitation when he'd wrapped her in his arms just … connection. He's wanted her trust so badly, and there it is, writ along her peaceful face. The image ripples slowly and time ceases to have meaning as he gazes on her perfect the clip of usagi has centered him again. He takes his time walking back to his rooms, thinking about recent events. He really shouldn't have snarled at Vitok yesterday. instead he's going to think about usagi. She'd written him last night and he's hopeful that there will be another message waiting for him. Perhaps she will tell him about her training? He imagines how graceful she must have been, learning her first saber form. Surely she'll let him watch soon? He's about to open his door when he hears a soft.

"Kylo." Said usagi

He turns quickly to find usagi coming down the hallway. His helmet is off in an instant. She's wearing that ivory silk nightgown with the embroidered flowers. The one that clings. Since he first saw her wearing it, he's thought quite a bit about how it flows down her body. He rips his gloves from his hands, stuffs them in his helmet and places the lot on the floor. He will not give up the opportunity to know how she feels through that silk; he's wanted this too much. By the time he's standing again, she's almost to him.

He doesn't hesitate as he sweeps her into his arms. She responds eagerly as he kisses her forcefully, possessively. His hands roam along her back and the feel of her warm skin beneath the silk is so much better than he'd imagined. The material is thin and sumptuous, the scant barrier between his hands and her naked body driving him mad. She kisses him as if she's been denied her due; her lips moving against his make him feel like he's being claimed. Her hand comes up around the back of his neck and her fingers tangle in his hair. Then she's pulling it, tugging him down, encouraging him to kiss her neck. He happily obliges, kissing and nipping down the column of her throat until he reaches the juncture of her shoulder. He bites her gently, scraping her soft skin with his teeth. She moans, loudly, and the sound goes straight to his cock. He's not quite sure how it happened, but now she's pressed back against his door. Oh Force, she's shifted so that his leg is between her thighs and she's grinding against him. Her nightgown is riding up and he can feel how hot she is through what must be just a scrap of fabric. He's hazy with lust, all that there is is usagi lips and hands and his name chanted over and over. As she had yesterday morning, she places his hand over her breast and he stills, looking into her eyes.

"You're sure?" asked kylo

"Yes, please yes. Touch me." Pleaded usagi

usagi voice is breathy and he's never been so turned-on in his life. Her begging is all that he needs, he's palming her breast then rolling her nipple between his long fingers. He thrusts his tongue in her mouth, mimicking what he desperately wants to do with his cock. With each pass of his fingers across her needy breast, she bucks against him. She's so wet that he can feel her soaking through his trousers. It's all he can do to keep from dropping to his knees and burying his face between her thighs and drinking her in.

With one hand busy bringing usagi higher he had no idea breasts could be so sensitive he pushes up the hem of her nightgown with the other. He strokes his fingers along her smooth thigh until his hand grazes the delicate lace of her under things. He lifts her, settling her heat against his aching hardness. Her legs wrap around him and now they're moving together, building a rhythm with only one goal in mind: this hunger must be sated. He knows he's been driven to near insanity from wanting her. The way she's panting and grinding against him makes him think she has, too.

He can't think, he can only move, feel, thrust, lick, kiss. His perfect love, he's never wanted anyone or anything the way he wants her. No, he needs her. And she feels so damned good. He's kissing her deeply, moaning into her mouth when he hears it. Boots clanging along the corridor. The night patrol. He wants to scream out every obscenity he's ever known. He's so hard it hurts.

She hears it too and pulls back, her eyes frantic. She rips from his arms and dashes down the corridor, disappearing into her quarters before he even knows what's happening.

Kylo starts to follow, but the stormtroopers are getting closer. Hux seeing him like this was quite enough for him, so he quickly slips into his rooms. He leans back against his door, still breathing fast. He can't take it anymore. She was just in his arms, he can feel her lips on his, taste her skin.

He groans as he notices the wet patch on his thigh. He doesn't stop to consider his actions, he's too far gone. He just rips open his trousers, pulls out his weeping cock, and starts stroking furiously. Oh yes, oh Maker yes. He closes his eyes and remembers how her trim body feels against his, how small she is when he holds her. The heat of her as she'd wantonly ground down on his leg, seeking her pleasure. Wondering how it would feel to have her slender fingers replace his, he thrusts up into his fist. He should slow down, make it last, but he needs this. Higher and higher he climbs, the tension building. Release, sweet release, he's so close. bursts into his head just as he peaks, thick ropes of his seed arcing onto the floor. He whimpers in embarrassment and long-denied relief.

"Oh!" squeaks usagi through the Bond

He's panting, still leaning back against the door and he has no idea what to say. His cheeks burn and he just wants to crawl under rock somewhere He can't answer her. What must she think of him? Taking himself in hand like an adolescent with no control. There's nothing he can fathom to say so he remains silent.

"Kylo, it's alright. Uhm … I do it too." Said usagi

"You … you do?" asked kylo

"Y-yes." Said usagi

"So you aren't … offended?" asked kylo

"Well, that depends. Were you thinking of me?" asked usagi

"Of course!" said kylo

"Good. Because I think about you, too." Purred usagi

Wait. Is she saying what he thinks she's saying? She pushes a gauzy memory through the Bond. usagi is touching herself while imagining him kissing her, his hands running along her body. Even though he's only just orgasmed, his cock twitches at the sight of usagi hand buried in her core, hidden by her leggings. Then he realizes she's wearing her silver alliance clothes in the memory …

"Even then, when we were apart?" asked kylo

"Even then. It confused me, but I … I couldn't help myself." Said usagi

"Oh usagi … I've wanted you for so long." Purred kylo

"I know … I have to." Said usagi

"I … I meant why did you run just now, We could have easily come into my chambers." Said kylo

"Oh … right. I didn't think, I just didn't want them to see me like that. I … I've never acted like this. Not even with the ex hubands. I didn't mean for it to go so far. But then I was in your arms and we were kissing ... I just missed you and wanted to say goodnight." Said usagi

"I'm glad you did. Though… are you alright? It wasn't … too much?" asked kylo

"No, it was just right. I'm fine." Said usagi

"Do you want to come back?" asked kylo

"I do, but I don't trust myself right now." Whispered usagi

"I won't press, I just want to hold you." Whined kylo

"Have you noticed that that never works? We're like a spark and tinder, we can't help but catch fire." Said usagi

"Alright, usagi. Soon, we will see each other soon." Said kylo

"Yes, soon." Said usagi

He's disappointed, but he understands. Maybe she'll make saying goodnight something she does regularly. He moves from his door, heading to his 'fresher. He's fairly certain he can shield her from seeing him cleaning himself up through the Bond. Perhaps she'll indulge him in conversation.

Meanwhile a little while later

They've been talking for hours and he's lounging in his favorite chair, luxuriating in the feeling of her words forming in his head. He notes the time; it's very late. Much as he hates it, he knows she needs sleep. Plus she needed her beauty rest for her training tomorrow. He was proud of her she was able to make her own saber. Her mother helped her use her silver crystal to make two crystal with it. The silver crystal produced them. So now he saber was linked to her jedi and lunarian powers.

"usagi, my love, if you're going to be any use at all in training tomorrow you need to go to bed," said kylo

"Oh! I didn't notice how late it was. I lost track of time. You're right, but I don't want to go. I … I like this. Just talking like this." Said usagi

"I like it too. Very much." Said kylo

"Through the Bond it makes it easier somehow, I don't get overwhelmed with … you know." Said usagi

"Yes, I do know. Though I'm not entirely opposed to that." Said kylo

"Well, I'm not either. I just mean this was … nice." Said usagi

"Yes, it was," said kylo

"Why didn't you talk to me like this before?" asked usagi

He bristles immediately. He'd tried, oh how he'd tried to get her to just talk with him. But she'd always refused, spitting and hissing at him, calling him names and demanding actions he could not take. But he doesn't want to break the gentle give and take they've managed. He takes a deep breath and sends into the Bond,

"I wanted to and I did try. I didn't know how to engage you in a conversation like this. Besides, would you have let me?" said kylo

" What matters is that we're talking now." Said usagi

"Yes … you're right. I'm glad we are." Said kylo

"I'm glad, too." Said usagi

There's another long silence and he senses usagi reaching out through the Bond. He responds in kind and as their energies merge it's almost like when they hold hands. They brush against each other and it's tender and oh how it soothes him.

"Okay, well … I guess I'll see you the day after tomorrow," said usagi

"What? I thought you wanted to wait a week before we next have dinner." Said kylo

"I do, it will be a week in two days. I'm counting from when we ran into each other before Eshara. And I'm counting that day as the first." Said usagi

He can't help but smile. She's obviously so eager to see him that she's bending her own rules. It fills him with the unfamiliar feeling of Rey wanting to spend time with him. She's impatient to be with him chuckles lightly.

"I see, well, I certainly won't argue with you. The day after tomorrow then." Said kylo

"Goodnight, Kylo." Said usagi

"goodnight my beloved" said kylo

usagi lets him feel her emotions through the Bond. She's happy and the strength of her affection takes his breath When he makes it to his bed, he falls asleep with a sense of peace he can't recall ever feeling before.

Meanwhile the following day

The next morning Kylo sits back in his chair in his office. He's in an incredibly good mood. Their little tryst outside his rooms followed by spending so much time speaking with Rey has quieted the grasping fear of losing her. Tomorrow. He will see her tomorrow. He's about to bring up the holo from Eshara to watch yet again when his comm chirps.

"Sir, Palek Ren is requesting to speak with you from Coruscant."

"Patch him through, Lieutenant." Said kylo

Excellent, he hopes there is good news about usagi mother, Lann Tren. Well the mother that Luke forced her to be reborn to. the hologram of Palek's large frame comes into view in front of his desk, his imposing helmet in place.

"Palek Ren," greeted Kylo

"Supreme Leader." Said Palek

"Tell me what you've found. You had not had much luck the last time Jashad checked in." said kylo

Palek Ren shifts his weight from one foot to the other. Momoko was right next to him. Oh usagi told him of his marriage to her daughter momoko. And Jashad to scarlett. He was very happy for his knights who has found love. Just like him he found his love as well, it seem everyone has found love kind of.

"Well, I'm afraid to say that we're still not making much progress. There's quite a bit of ground to cover." Said momoko

"Indeed. Any new leads?" asked kylo

"One, on the other side of the planet. We're heading there tomorrow." Said Palek

"Are your credits holding up?" asked kylo

"We've had to spend quite a bit in bribes," said Palek

"I'll have an additional 100,000 transferred. I don't want you delayed when a few more credits will get the job done." Said kylo

Palek's and momoko image wavers then disappears. Kylo stands and goes to the view screen . Jashad and Palek Ren along with their wives have been gone for nearly two weeks, he really had hoped they would have found Lann Tren by now.

Meanwhile later that evening

kylo in his sanctuary, methodically pulling out each piece of jewelry from his cabinet of gifts. He has them laid out on a low table. Though her rooms are full of clothing and other accessories, he'd kept the jewelry back. He will give each piece to her personally. Kylo wants his gift to be perfect. After over two weeks, she's finally letting him back in and he wants to mark the occasion. There's a delicate pair of drop earrings with an ornate pattern and deep blue stones. He thinks they would bring out her eyes so he sets it aside. Then he considers a set of simple bangles that he thinks would appeal to her tendency towards stark elegance. She doesn't usually select the more complicated gowns.

Then he sees it. Yes, this is perfect. He holds it up and imagines her face when she sees this. It is quite rare and he'd had it made for her specially. He puts it back in its box and returns the rest of the jewelry back to their cabinet. He makes his way to his bedroom and lays the simple box on his bedside table. He runs his fingers along the gray velvet, satisfied with his selection. He hopes she'll permit him to have the first piece of jewelry he gave her repaired. The fact that she wears it every day pleases him, but he doesn't like that it's in pieces. Kylo slips into bed and wonders if she will say goodnight. Then he feels it, she's brushing against him and he brushes right back. A tendril of her light curls within him and he sighs in pleasure and relief. He misses her so. He sends out his own seeking energy and they intertwine. He feels wrapped in contentment. he falls asleep still tangled with his beloved.

Meanwhile the following day

Kylo looks up from the datapad he'd been reading, a summary of the status of the fleet. He suppresses a shudder at the memory of seeing hux run acrossed the ship nude again with a nude gay guy was disturbed him. He never knew he was that hairy, but he must of pissed off minako again for something, he hid in a locked closet all night until minako tossed his uniform back at him,

Beneath his mask, Kylo flinches. He needs to look into making changes in the stormtrooper program. He's no longer certain that reconditioning is the best way to handle infractions. When he'd told FL-4359 that he would not be punished if he assisted him in saving the miners, the stormtrooper had worked tirelessly at his side and he'd sensed a depth of loyalty he'd not perceived before.

"Continue the search and keep me informed of any changes with the situation with the Resistance." Said kylo

"Yes, sir," said hux

Hux says before leaving Kylo to his picks up the report on the fleet and returns to the dry recounting of supply lines and crew promotions but soon finds himself bringing up the stormtrooper regulations. That the Resistance has gone silent is disturbing, but there's nothing he can do about it. The stormtroopers, however … there he can act. There are several hours until he will see usagi and this might be just what he needs to keep from bouncing out of his skin in excitement. He begins to plan.