Synchronized Heartbeats
Written By: TCOOKIES777
Chapter 36: Cold Confessions
Rin still didn't understand how this could have happened. He should've been home by now, celebrating Christmas alongside Gou, probably giving her the promise ring and explaining his decision to leave for the states next year. Instead, he was here in his dorm, staring up at the ceiling and considering how in the world it had come to this.
He remembered waking up yesterday in high spirits, too eager to finally purchase Gou's ring to wait for Ami's last payment. The last he'd seen of the sapphire ring had been in his duffel bag, contained in an inconspicuous red velvet box. He remembered passing his remaining time at the gym for an extra bit of swim practice. And then… had he gone to shower? The rest of his memory was fuzzy after that, as if a wool cloth had blanketed that section of his mind.
The past few hours since leaving the train station, Rin had been mulling things over and trying to piece everything to make some sense out of it. But a new headache was beginning to build at his temples and Rin groaned, checking his phone for any messages from his sister. He'd tried calling her over a dozen times, but she was either busy or ignoring him. Probably the latter, and Rin didn't blame her. Without a doubt, Gou was disappointed and Rin could only hope that his sister wasn't too mad at him. He wondered if she had spent Christmas Eve alone, or if their mom had arrived on time. Either way, guilt knotted in his chest.
They had spent the majority of their childhood years apart from each other. It was a strange, jarring thing to see his sister as a young girl one day and then suddenly a blossoming, young woman the next time. He hated missing out on those moments, coming home to find these changes. And they were minor changes, but these things built over time. Even just one year could make a huge difference. One day was all it took to change a person's life, or even the person themselves.
One day.
Rin hoped this wasn't one of those days, so he picked up his phone and, once again, dialed Gou's number.
His heart rate spiked the moment his sister's voice came through with a quiet, "Hello?"
It had taken her all of the courage she had left to finally pick up her brother's phone call. And the moment Gou did, rage had filled her veins like a drug, burning hot like molten lava and making her fingers twitch tightly around the phone.
"Gou," Rin said, "I've been trying to call you."
She grit her teeth together, biting back the snarky retort threatening to escape her lips. He'd been trying to call her? How ironic considering she'd been sitting on that bench the other night for longer than needed, trying to call him.
As calmly as possible, she asked, "What happened?"
There was a pause from Rin's end, and she narrowed her eyes, wondering if her brother hadn't expected her to get straight to the point. And why would it be so surprising? She had a right to know what had happened to him. Why he'd broken his promise.
Listening to Rin fumble for a reply did not make her feel any better. It was supposed to be a simple question with a simple answer.
"I… I think I..." Gou pressed the phone closer to her ear, but his next words caught her off guard, "I overslept…"
"Over… slept?"
"Y-Yeah," The hesitance in his voice was painfully obvious and it left her stomach in knots, "I was, uh, pretty exhausted yesterday. I was at the pool for a while and then returned to the dorms for a nap. I must've slept through my alarm."
Pressing a hand to her mouth, Gou tried to stifle back a sob. The pool… Her brother had been at the pool, just as Ami had mentioned. And he had indeed been sleeping, exactly as Ami explained.
She was sick. A wave of nausea kept her from speaking for a while. His excuse matched perfectly with Ami's—there could be no coincidence. Even Rin was silent on the other end. Of course he was; after all, he was lying to her and gauging her reaction. How could he think to fool her with such a poor excuse?
Then… everything that Fujioka-san had told me is true?
Raising her face, Gou blinked back the hot tears burning her eyes. She would not cry. She would not give anyone the satisfaction of seeing her so weak and vulnerable. There had been plenty of that already during her pregnancy. Right now, Rin didn't even deserve her tears.
After swallowing down the lump in her throat, Gou made sure her voice was strong and steady enough before telling her brother, "You broke your promise." This time she did not bother to hide the raw fury simmering in her words.
"I know…" Rin sighed and there might have been a hint of exhaustion in his tone, but Gou would not fall for that either. "I'm sorry, I was just really tired, you know?" I've been working, training, competing, and keeping up my grades all semester. I've just had a lot on my plate and ended up oversleeping. I didn't mean to sleep that long…"
Did her brother really think she was that dumb? Did he think so little of her that he thought he could lie to her like this when the truth was that he was sleeping with another girl? 'And who did you sleep with, pray tell, Onii-chan?' she wanted to ask him. Would he have fumbled for an answer again like last time? Another excuse to deceive her?
"I swear, Gou, I'll make it up to you when I come home this weekend—I promise. The trains should be up and running again by then, so we—"
"I needed you home now. You promised me, Rin. You promised we could be together and I waited for months. I waited for you, and you broke your promise." She repeated once more, but her voice was beginning to tremble now.
He had broken her trust. Breaking his promise to return home for Christmas had been just the first straw, but now Gou had to worry about the allegation that her own brother was cheating on her with another girl. So she didn't believe Rin at all when he swore to return home for the weekend.
'Did you really have sex with Ami?' she was dying to ask. To have him confirm her suspicions. To tell her the damn truth because here she was, pregnant with his child, and he had the audacity to go behind her back like this? After everything they had risked together—for each other—as siblings in love.
She wanted to believe him. She wanted to tell herself that she was being delusional—that it was just the stupid pregnancy hormones. Yet, somehow, some part of Gou refused to let her suspicions slide that easily. Perhaps it was instinct, or maybe just jealousy. Either way, it gnawed at her conscience like a parasite.
"Rin," she began, sucking in a shaky breath to steel her nerves, "are you telling me the truth?"
There was a pause and Gou held her breath through it before Rin said, "Don't you believe me?"
"I…" Gou blinked back the tears, whispering, "I don't know anymore."
Beep!
She stared at the phone's screen for a short while, thumb still pressed over where she'd hit the button to end the call. Biting her lip, Gou tossed her phone onto the bed and then buried her face against the pillow, if only so she didn't have to hear those wretched sobs tear out of her throat.
Of course she was supposed to trust Rin. He was her brother. She was supposed to trust him with her life. Which was why she knew, deep in her heart, that he'd lied to her. How could Gou trust him after that? How could she just ignore the claims of another girl—someone who had a better chance of being with Rin than Gou ever did?
"Why?" Gou cried, her question muffled into the pillow.
Why, God?
She was not one for religion, although she remembered visiting shrines and murmuring prayers every once in a while as a child before their father had died. It wasn't that Gou had lost her faith, but merely that she'd grown out of it once she was old enough to start questioning the natural order of the world. But as Gou considered how cursed she was, to love her brother and yearn for him the way she was not supposed to, she began to wonder if God was indeed real. If not God, then some other higher being out there who put two loving souls into the wrong bodies simply for the entertainment of watching the lovers suffer.
But why? She wanted to scream at the sky to whoever may be listening. What did I do to deserve this?
But Gou kept her face pressed into the pillow soaked with her tears and she swallowed back that scream building in her throat. Even if she let it out, she knew no one would have heard her anyway.
That was not how Rin hoped their conversation would go, but he couldn't say he was surprised either.
He groaned aloud, rubbing at his temples in a feeble attempt to make his headache go away.
Gou had every right to be pissed at him, he understood that. If only he could even remember what had possibly gone so terribly wrong for him to have missed his train like that. For days, Rin had planned out the day he'd return home down to the hour. He knew the exact time the train would leave and what time to go to the station. It didn't make sense someone as diligent as him to not only be late for such an important event, but somehow pass out half-naked and Gou's ring missing.
"What the fuck happened to me?" Rin muttered, squinting at Gou's name on his contact list.
Scrolling through his texts, he eyed the "Merry Christmas!" messages sent to him by his friends over at Australia. They'd asked him how he was doing, but Rin was in no mood for that conversation when he was doing horribly. When his finger landed on Sousuke's name, he gave pause.
"Hello?" His best friend's voice came through, reserved as usual.
"H-Hey, Sousuke," Rin didn't understand why he felt nervous, "listen, I missed my train. I'm not sure what happened, but Gou is alone at the house. Could I ask you to check in on her whenever you can? Make sure she's safe and, um, eating? Just until I can come home. There aren't any trains available at the moment since the snow—"
"I understand."
His tone seemed curt.
"O-Oh, okay. Um, thanks, I appreciate it!"
"Is that all then?"
There seemed to be an aggressiveness in that question and Rin didn't understand why his friend was behaving this way. At least with Gou it made sense that she would be angry with him, but Sousuke of all people? Rin knew that it took quite a lot for his friend to become mad, but the last time they'd seen each other things were fine between them.
"Yeah," Rin answered, "Merry Christmas…"
"Hnn…"
This time, it wasn't surprising to Rin when Sousuke hung up on him like that. He was becoming accustomed to phone calls ending poorly for him. Still, it did sting.
And for the next few days, Rin had all the time in the world to mull things over. There was a saying that said time healed wounds, but Rin found his hurt feelings swelling more and more as time went by without another word from his sister. With the campus empty from nearly the entire student population away for the holidays, he hardly had any company to keep him occupied. A few times, his mom had called, but Rin wanted to speak with Gou and hear her voice. In the silence of his dorms, he imagined Gou's voice whispering the sweet things he wanted to hear from her lips.
One night, he tried to masturbate to her, as usual. The lotion and tissues had been prepared at his side, the photo of Gou's nudes propped up on his nightstand in clear view, and he'd laid naked on the bed, stroking his cock to erection. It was easy to get rock hard at the sight of Gou's pussy, his cock painfully swollen with tension and the veins bulging angrily against the thin skin. Yet, no matter how many times he stroked himself, Rin could not find release.
When several hours flew by, Rin snarled aloud in frustration and gave up, yanking a pair of shorts on and slipping into a jacket too thin for the winter weather. He needed to blow off steam and the only way he knew how was a good jog around the school campus.
His breath came out in thick puffs of white smoke as he panted against the crisp air. Flakes of snow wettened his face as Rin ran, enjoying the sensation of the cold air filling his lungs repeatedly. The tent in his shorts had easily subsided in moments upon stepping out. The best thing was that Rin found his mind clear and at peace after a long while of thinking hard enough to give himself a headache. Right now, he was the only one outside amongst the snow. Of course, only a madman like him would be spending his holidays alone and taking a jog in such freezing weather.
After half an hour, he finally stopped for a break, pausing beside a lecture hall where he'd taken his advanced English language courses. As he took the moment to steady his breathing, Rin gazed around at the white scenery surrounding him. The school grounds looked a bit different at this time of the year, especially with no students. His eyes landed on a smaller building across the fountain and Rin tipped his head in consideration. Most of the main facilities were closed for the holidays, but places like the gym or the cafeteria remained open for the students who'd chosen to remain on campus.
He hadn't given himself a proper workout ever since that day he'd missed the train, and Rin could feel the difference in his body already.
Well, it's not like I have anything better to do.
As expected, the gym was completely empty when Rin entered. Good; he could hog all the equipment to himself without having to mind all the other sweaty dudes grunting around him. Having already warmed up outside, Rin went straight to rack of dumbbells to work on his tricep extension. The burn in his arms was a welcoming sensation and he eventually worked up a sweat.
He was so focused that he nearly dropped the dumbbell when someone commented from behind, "I didn't think anyone still came to the gym at this time."
Rin turned around to find Ami taking a sip of her water bottle. She was dressed similarly to him-sweatpants and a thin jacket that wasn't even zipped up to cover her… His gaze lingered on the cyan sports bra peeking between the edges of her zipper. Something about it tickled the back of his mind like an itch he couldn't scratch.
"Hey, my eyes are up here?"
"S-Sorry!" He muttered, flicking his gaze up to those sharp caramel brown eyes that were alight with amusement. Somehow, that look irked him and he turned away.
"You need me to spot you?" She asked, and Rin's eyes wandered the gym as he struggled to remember what he was supposed to do next. Ami watched him, those glossy lips tilted into an amused smirk as he shook his head in reply. No doubt he looked like a lost puppy, which was certainly not his style since the gym was as much his home as the pool was.
"So what are you doing here?" He asked, ultimately deciding to stretch out his lats with a foam roller.
"Working out, of course," Ami headed for a nearby treadmill to warm up.
"I mean here. On school campus while it's the holidays."
"Didn't wanna go home. You?"
"Couldn't go home…" Rin frowned, ignoring the goosebumps on his arm. "I think. Somehow, I missed my train."
"Hm, shame."
There was this urge to explain the whole situation to her, but Rin fought it. He just needed someone to voice his complaints to. Gou was out of the question and Sousuke seemed to be upset with him. Still, there was this funny feeling Rin had about Ami. Something that made his skin crawl at her mere presence. He had always felt like there was something about her that made Rin uncomfortable, but this time the feeling was amplified now.
"Why didn't you wanna go home?" He asked, seeking a distraction.
Too late, Rin remembered Ami's issue with her family. What had it been again? Something about a controlling father? Or, something about her father underestimating her as a woman? That would explain the pride she took in her capabilities and independence.
"I just wanted to be alone," Ami answered evenly despite the brisk jog she had set for herself. A breathless chuckle escaped her, and she added, "No, that's a lie. Who the hell likes to be alone at this time? Of course I want company, but my father's? Fuck no." There was a vicious venom that dripped in her words, prompting Rin to glance over and see what spiteful expression she was making to sound like that. He saw only the blonde tail of her hair bobbing up and down. "What about you, Rin? Are you a man of solitude? Or do you take pleasure in the warmth of company?"
That same feeling was nagging at the back of his mind again, persistent and building into another headache. He set aside the foam roller and grabbed a twenty-pound medicine ball before sitting himself on the floor. "Both, I guess."
He wasn't entirely sure himself. Back then, after Haru had beaten him in that race all those years ago, his pride had been so hurt that Rin had become obsessed with beating his old friend. He had isolated himself from friends and family, confining himself to the pool and going through strenuous training to achieve such a pointless goal. It wasn't that Rin didn't want friends—no, it was actually the opposite. He'd been filled with such jealousy and pain at the sight of the Iwatobi club members and the camaraderie that had been built between everyone, including Gou. Yet, he didn't know how to express such want outside of swimming against his old friend. Well, it's my own fault for closing myself off from everyone like that.
Not even the victory of a race could ever be more worthy than the bonds he shared with his friends and family. It was only since mending his relationship with Haru did he learn this. And if Rin ever had to decide between his career in swimming and his love for Gou, there was no doubt which one he'd choose.
He stopped in the middle of his crunches, setting the medicine ball for a moment to contemplate whether or not he should try to call his sister again. Would she be in a better mood now? Rin hoped so, but knew it was unlikely. Still, as Gou's older brother, he was obliged to call and check in on her wellbeing even if Sousuke had taken to that duty himself.
"Hey, can you spot me?" Ami asked from a bench across the room, gesturing to the barbell on its shelf.
Rin obliged, ignoring the way his heart rate kicked up a notch the closer he approached her. This was ridiculous; it didn't make sense for him to feel this way with someone smaller than himself—and a girl, no less. He could pin Ami down to the ground and she'd have to kick him in the nuts if she ever hoped to get him off. Still, his hands were clammy against the steel handle of the barbell as he helped her set in the weights.
"Do you know how to bench press?" He asked, wiping his hands on his shorts.
"Do you ask the guys that too, or only girls?"
"That's not what I—"
"Kidding! Geez, lighten up, will ya?" Ami giggled, nodding to the barbell Rin still held. "Why don't you demonstrate for me? I'm sure a man with a body like yours knows all about proper technique and form."
That comment had Rin's stomach twisting into knots, but it was the wave of dizziness that left him speechless. He fumbled with the barbell for a second, and Ami's eyes flashed with concern before he righted himself to save face. The bench was still warm from where she'd been sitting as Rin took her place, gripping the barbell tightly to hide the way his hands trembled and prevent his sweaty palms from slipping against the steel.
Shit, he felt like he was gonna puke at any moment now.
Ignoring the way Ami's eyes ran up and down his body to study his position, Rin performed one rep with the barbell under her close observance. "Just like that." She made a contemplative noise and, out of consideration, Rin did a second rep for her.
He'd just raised the barbell over his chest when Ami reached out and dragged her fingertips across his arm to feel the muscles bulging. Whatever question she'd been about to ask had died on her lips a few words later when Rin suddenly dropped the barbell in reaction to her sudden touch.
Pain exploded across the right side of his ribs and Rin couldn't help but let out a quiet grunt as he fumbled with the barbell with Ami cursing at his side. He regained his focus long enough to set the barbell on the safety hooks of the pillars that sat at either side of the bench. Still, it was a bitch to breathe, and Rin ground his teeth to bite back a wince.
"Fuck, Rin! Are you okay?!"
"I'm fine." But his words came out in a strained groan.
Don't you fucking cry! Do not. Fucking. Cry.
Hot tears blurred his vision anyway, and Rin threw his eyes down. He wasn't sure which was worse, the pain at his side that would surely last as a bruise for a week, or the embarrassment staining his cheeks an angry red.
What the fuck is wrong with me today?!
The pain had quickly blossomed into something hot and throbbing, burning even more when Rin stood up to gather what remained of his dignity. The expression on his face must've been more blatant than he thought, because Ami was again asking if he was okay, to which he gave the same answer in return. He doubted she was dumb enough to accept such a weak lie.
"That barbell was heavy—you could've fractured a rib or something!"
He shook his head, closing his eyes to force the tears back to where they came from.
His side throbbed angrily with each passing second, but it wasn't what made his breath get stuck in his throat the next second. Nimble fingers were caressing his abs, raising the edge of his shirt up and leaving a trail of goosebumps in their wake.
Rin couldn't move. Hell, he'd even forgotten how to breathe as Ami mumbled something about his injury.
The pain in his head returned with a vengeance and a hard shudder ran through his whole body. Trepidation trickled down the back of his neck in sticky droplets.
When Ami's fingers grazed his injured ribs, her skin pressing down on his bare flesh, not even the pain could stop Rin from flinching back a couple of steps. It felt like his heart was in his throat, preventing Rin from speaking a coherent sentence. All he could do was stare wide-eyed at her and raise a shaky finger in accusation.
"Oh, did I hurt you?" She asked, tipping her head in curiosity.
"Stop…"
"I beg your pardon?"
Wait, why did he say that? Shaking his head, Rin mumbled an excuse to Ami that only left her frowning at his retreating back in confusion. His legs felt like noodles as Rin stumbled out of the gym, grabbing his personal belongings in a hasty retreat. The frigid air against his barely clothed body should've left him in a stupor, but Rin ignored the flakes of snow that soaked into his shirt and hair.
He had to get away.
Get away. Get away. Get away. Get away. Get away. Get away. get away. Get away. Get away. Get away. Get away. Get away. Get away. Get away. Get away. Get away. Get away. Get away.
Can't breathe!
He pulled his shirt off, his fucking nipples tightening in protest of the winter weather.
Can't fucking breathe!
Rin let out a sound that was a mix between a whimper and a moan. Either way, he sounded pathetic. His ribs ached every time his chest expanded, drawing in air faster than he could expel it. Shit, was he gonna collapse here and now of all places?!
He took one step forward. Then another, and another. Before he knew it, he was flying across campus, sprinting as fast as his legs could carry him and leaving deep imprints in the snow. It was like running through freezing hell, but Rin didn't care. He continued sprinting even when his muscles burned… even when his whole body began screaming in protest of the vigorous exercise. Still, he pushed himself onward, only slowing down when it felt like he was running through water instead of air. When the drag wore him down enough, Rin collapsed to his knees, gasping for that freezing cold air to fill his lungs anew.
Tilting his face back, he let the snow melt on his clammy skin until his lashes were lined with the tiny white flakes. When his heart had stopped racing and his breathing returned to normal, Rin collected himself and made his way back to the dorms. At least there, he could lick whatever invisible wounds he had in private.
More importantly, he didn't want to see the plain white sky any longer. Not because it was boring to look at, but because he saw nothing but his sister's face against the blank canvas of the sky. And that hurt more than his rib injury.
AgentMime007: I was 16 when it happened, and my sister 17. It was around midnight and I was up late playing video games at the couch. My sister had just come home from a party and her skimpy outfit left little to imagination. She's more than easy on the eyes that it surprised me how she didn't have a boyfriend back then. Anyway, I could tell she was drunk because she was stumbling around and giggling. She came over to see what I was doing and sat beside me. We started talking and fooling around like your typical pair of siblings, basically play fighting. But then we started getting touchy with each other and then things escalated from there. My sister has a nice rack, so I thought I would just grope her breasts for a quick feel, but then she was on my lap and we were kissing. It was hot, she was sexy, and I was horny. I knew she was my sister, but with her grinding on my lap, my body couldn't help but react. At some point, our make out session led to something more. She gave me a blow job while I had my FPS game on pause. I came in her mouth and thought that would be the end of it and we would talk about never mentioning it to each other ever again but it didn't stop there. We had the best sex I've ever had in my life (it's been 5 yrs since the incident).
When my sister awoke the next morning, she didn't even remember how she got home last night let alone having passionate sex with her own brother. I pretended like nothing happened and life went on. Two years later, my sister is home from college and she and our parents are having an intense argument in the kitchen. At some point, I hear my mom say that they do so much for [sister] and even paid for the abortion she had to get two years ago. I was shocked. They didn't even know who the father was, but I knew without a doubt that child my sister had been carrying was mine. Yes, I had sex with my sister that night two years ago but I never thought anything had become of it and my sister had never mentioned anything about a pregnancy. I don't know if she even remembers that night… or if she is aware that I was the one who had taken advantage of her drunken state and knocked her up. I don't know which is worse, my sister remembering that night and pretending not to, or her not remembering and so, in other words, I'd practically raped her. I still don't know what to make of it…
Gou rubbed her temples as she continued scanning the forum she'd been reading for the past hour or so. She had never thought the day would come when she'd be using the browser's Incognito tabs to search through personal, real life accounts of people involved in incest. Yet, here she was, moving onto the next thread to read—she squinted at the username—MissyKitty's own story of how she'd ended up having sex with her own brother.
MissyKitty: My big brother and I are best friends. Our family is so dysfunctional, especially our relationship with our parents, so my brother and I only have each other. He takes care of me and everything. One day, we were arguing, which is normal as siblings, right? I'm still not sure how, but one moment we were glaring at each other and then suddenly my brother and I were kissing. We got scared and avoided each other for a few days, trying to pretend that it didn't happen. But it was impossible. One night, I was lying in bed and my brother came into my room. He wanted to apologize for the kiss but then things got awkward and… we were kissing again. And then we started fondling each other through our clothes. We thought we could keep it a secret from mom and dad if we just didn't go all the way. But then his fingers weren't enough and I asked my brother to put it in me just for a moment and then he could pull out. I didn't mind him taking my virginity or that it hurt a little. I even enjoyed it when he came inside me. At first, we panicked and my brother had to secretly buy me a Plan B pill. I didn't know what a Plan B pill was until my brother explained it to me. It worked, thank goodness. It was a close call.
Ever since then, we've been using condoms but I'm planning to go on the pill so that the sex feels more natural. He told me that contraceptives are to prevent STDs rather than pregnancy, so I'm kind of confused about that, but I just follow his lead. My brother comes into my room in the middle of the night when our parents are deep asleep. We're very careful and he always makes sure to lock the door and have a condom in hand. If we run out, my brother says he saw online that girls have safe days, but I'm not sure when mine is. He says it's right after my period when there's no egg left to fertilize, or something like that. I still don't get it, but my brother makes sure to pull out at the end, but I don't like it because it leaves a mess all over my tummy. We're still afraid of the day our parents might figure it out or even catch us in the act.
Gou's stomach felt like it was doing acrobatics with the way it was flipping and turning with stress. She gnawed at her bottom lip, reading the replies under this thread and wincing at the aggressiveness of the Internet strangers replying to MissyKitty's story.
MRaardvark: Dude, how old are you?
Wiotch: MissyKitty, maybe u should pay more attention to science class.
FreakyFrank: Gtfo of this forum and do some research. Ur brother knows shit and is gonna get you pregnant before you know it.
MoonChild99: see u on 16 n pregnant
Dr_Anon: Isn't ur bro taking advantage of you? It seems you didn't actually give ur consent but just went along with it because he's ur brother. That's not good. If your own dad started touching u like that, would u accept his touches just because he's your father?
DirtyDDDancer: if u gon do it with ur own bro, you wanna do it with me too? Promise i shoot blanks and won't knock u up lmao.
Frowning at the disgusting suggestion, Gou moved the mouse to downvote DirtyDDDancer. Her frown deepened when she read the next thread.
QueenPeachy2000: I'm not sure if this is incest but my twin brother touched the place between my legs. He wanted to know what a pussy looked like so he asked to see mine and, even though I kind of didn't want to, I ended up showing it to him. He poked and stroked it very carefully, so I didn't mind since it actually felt good. But then my brother pushed a finger into me and I felt something tear or rip. It kind of hurt. Did he take my virginity? I got angry at him but he still wants to touch me more. I think he's just curious and he says it's for science, and also it's not like we're having actual sex, but….
Last night, my brother had me lie down and open my legs all the way so that he could spread my pussy open and shine a light in there to see my deepest place. I was kinda embarrassed but he didn't do anything that hurt me. He was just looking… said he wanted to see my hymen and that I'm supposed to have it. When he said he couldn't find it, I got scared. Is it normal to not have a hymen at 13 yrs old? Also, is it incest if he's just observing my body? Is it normal to experiment like this with a sibling?
Bile threatened to rise in the back of Gou's throat as she trembled at the prospect of this girl's brother practically forcing his finger into the girl's body. Your brother is not entitled to your body, she wanted to write, but her fingers remained clamped around the mouse.
Rin had never done something to Gou's body that she didn't want or didn't like. Sure, she'd had her fair share of hesitance or reluctance, but she trusted her brother's love for her. She knew his love would be the master of his own lust, reigning Rin in whenever he needed to check himself. So she couldn't help but feel disturbed by the behavior of this brother here. The way he was taking advantage of his sibling like that. It also infuriated her to find the girl hadn't the courage to straight up refuse her brother's touches and put her foot down.
I wonder… Would Onii-chan really obey me and stop himself if I rejected his advances?
DonaldDick: ur bro so wants to pop ur cherry
AlphaWolf_22: Ur bro might be just curious about a girl's private parts. My sister asked to see and touch my dick and I had no problem. Got a handjob out of it anyway.
MadamRouge64: u probably already tore ur hymen doing daily stuff. Nothing special about that. Also, wtf? Is ur bro planning to become a gynecologist or something?
MRaardvark: do u live in Alabama?
DirtyDDDancer: I'd like to see ur pussy too. Send nudes?
Gou shook her head at DirtyDDDancer's answer. The next thread wasn't much better either.
ISpyaSlySpy: I had sex with my sister once. It was honestly fucking mindblowing. I kind of miss it but we don't talk about it and my sister has a boyfriend now. I guess I should be happy for her…
If she's happy, then of course you should be happy! Gou wanted to say, but she could also somewhat relate to the guy. She'd be absolutely heartbroken if Rin ever found happiness in another girl rather than Gou.
SantaBaby97: I've been in a sexual relationship with my older brother since I was fourteen. It started with us just fooling around and experimenting with our bodies. I wanted to know what a man's penis looked like and how it felt to have one inside me. So we've been having casual sex ever since. I don't see anything wrong with it. It's just sex, people! If I get pregnant then I'll just get an abortion. We've even been considering having a threesome with our cousin. I'll keep you guys updated.
Update: the threesome was awesome. There's nothing like being sandwiched between two men with both their cocks filling you up all the way. You're filled and stretched in ways you can't ever imagine unless you try it. I get wet just remembering that night. 10/10 recommend.
DirtyDDDancer: Wanna make it a foursome?
DonaldDick: Threesome for the winsome! But the more the merrier, if ya know what I mean.
AlphaWolf_22: Guess I know what I'm doing this weekend with my sis.
JoJoHoHo: Nothing like a good pair of cocks to fill u up to the brim
MadamRouge: Wtf is wrong with you? Don't be irresponsible like that! Women like u who just treat pregnancy like it's just an inconvenience or a fly u need to swat rather than a serious decision is what gives us pro-choicers a bad rep! You should be ashamed!
DonaldDick: lmao shut up MadamRouge nobody cares but u social justice bitches
DirtyDDDancer: gtfo then MadamRouge "her body, her choice" isn't that what u pro-bitches always moan on about?
DirtyDDDancer was really starting to get on Gou's nerves.
MewMewGirl: My brother and I have been hiding our sexual relationship from our parents for a year now. I know it's bad since we're siblings and I kind of want to stop even though my brother makes me feel really good. But he doesn't want to stop and it's hard to tell him no when he's touching me and it doesn't make sense to talk about ending it right after he just made me orgasm. I'm also scared that if I end it with my brother then I'll never find anyone else who would want me.
Again, it terrified Gou to think that there were people who were supposed to be trusted… yet would betray that trust by refusing to take no for an answer.
I'm lucky Onii-chan is nothing like the people in these stories…
NintendoWheeee: It wasn't my sibling but a cousin. Met a girl and sparks flew between us. The sexual tension was palpable. I took her home and screwed her pussy good for a few rounds. Thought it'd be a simple one night stand or even let it grow into something special. But when she was leaving, my mom had just come home and saw her and wondered what my cousin was doing here. What a way to introduce your relative lol. She and I were both shocked but, then again, we live in a small town. Don't know why we never officially met through family until then. We've become casual fuck buddies since.
BlueBallser: Where I'm from, marrying your first cousin is normal. It's even part of our culture. Don't know what's all the fuss. Americans are so sensitive over every little thing. Didn't your British ancestors screw each other in the royal families?
DirtyDDDancer: Do u know if ur cousin is looking for more ""buddies""?
Gou downvoted DirtyDDDancer for the second time.
KinkyKat123: I think I'm in love with my older brother. He's 8 years older than me but ever since I can remember I've always been infatuated with him. He's kind and gentle with me and treats me like a princess. But because he is extremely handsome with a body as great as his personality, women are always flocking to him. I can't help but think he sees me as just a little girl even though I'm 17 now. I get jealous of his girlfriends even though he always pays attention to me too. It might just be my imagination or wishful thinking but, lately my brother has been looking at me more than usual. There's this longing in his gaze and he keeps staring at my mouth. One minute, my brother's eyeing me like he's going to rip my clothes off and take me right there and then the next minute it's like he can't stand the sight of me. I just don't get him...
MadamRouge: oh sweet summer child. Ur brother definitely wants you. But if he's able to restrain himself, and perhaps for your sake, he might genuinely want you as a lover? Also, he's hot and popular?! That means he could have any girl he wants, but he wants YOU, his own little sister at the risk of everything. I'm pretty sure that means he genuinely wants you as a lover. Not saying you should drop your panties for him, but if both your feelings are serious…
BarbieBabe: hurry and have ur bro knock u up before another girl swoops in and puts a ring on it
Wiotch: Tempt him with ur body and see if ur brother caves in. When he does, make sure to have a condom ready. After u finish having sex (without ur parents around to find out), have a serious discussion of where to go from here on. Does he only want ur body? Does he genuinely love you as a lover? Does he want to continue this relationship in secret, and for how long? But first, u should both give into ur desires and have some hot wild sex to sate yourselves lmao if ur brother makes ur pussy wet and aching before and after, then he's a keeper.
Wiotch's response reminded Gou of how things went down between her and Rin. Their incestuous relationship had all started by sheer accident powered by unbridled lust from both siblings. They'd had sex before seriously discussing their incestuous romance, and then continued to have wild sex all day. Was that the best way things could have gone though? No, she knew it was the only way it could have happened.
MrXXX: My sister and I slept together when we were in our late teens. It was mostly an accident. We were both drunk and alone and ended up having wild, kinky sex with our parents away for the weekend. Honestly, we didn't care that what we were doing was incest. The pros of us having sex beat out the cons. After that incident, life continued as normal. Sometimes, my sis will ask me to finger her or eat her pussy if she's having a hard time getting an orgasm, and then she'll give me a blowjob in return. It's a win-win. Parents don't suspect a thing.
8008: I know two sisters who are the product of incest. Nothing's wrong with them though. Actually, both sisters are gorgeous geniuses who are currently leading very successful lives. So everything turned out ok I guess. Their parents (brother and sister) are still very much in love I hear. A very happy, normal family.
Wiotch: I actually have a friend who is the product of incest between a brother and sister. His parents are still very much in love, and there's nothing wrong with the guy either. You would never suspect his incest background not unless he told you himself. They're just a happy, normal family.
Prof_CarelessWhisper: All you brothers with sisters out there are lucky to have an opportunity to pound some pussy lol some of us gotta work our butts off to get in a girl's panties while you guys have one right next to you
MadamRouge: Prof_CarelessWhisper you realize there's still a thing called consent? Sisters don't exist to be the sex dolls of their siblings let alone the brother's broodmare
DonaldDick: MadamRouge sure they are
DirtyDDDancer: if she breathes, she's a thot lol
MadamRouge: DirtyDDDancer shut up already
DirtyDDDancer: MadamRouge with ur tits in my mouth I already have
With a sigh, Gou downvoted DirtyDDDancer and upvoted MadamRouge before scrolling all the way to the bottom of the page where the least popular comment awaited her.
DRLove69: In case any readers out there or even commentors see this and are a product of incest or have conceived a child of incest, I just want to say that as a pediatric CNA, the worst thing I've ever seen is NOT children of incest, but children whose mothers practically poisoned them during the pregnancy. I've seen countless cases of pregnant women drinking alcohol or shooting up drugs and end up birthing a child that will only know a life of pain and dependency. Some of these women drink and do drugs while not yet having realized that they are even pregnant. So, when they finally give birth and see how they've crippled their baby, the mother never fails to have such a crestfallen face. It's so sad.
DirtyDDDancer: boohoo, cry me a fucking river
DonaldDick: alexa, play despacito
She didn't think the forum would be this exhausting to read, but somehow, Gou felt less anxious and stressed than in forever. Seeing the personal accounts of real people going through, well, not exactly the same thing as her—but pretty close to it—had made Gou feel that she wasn't as alone as she thought. There were dozens of people across the world who were into incest more than was known. Gou wasn't sure if the thought scared her as much as it should considering how taboo it was.
What was interesting, and somewhat worrisome, was that most of these incest stories seemed to be based mostly on lust and sex rather than romantic, earnest love. It was true that half of the people in their threads were not entirely sure of their own feelings, but then why allow such a serious thing to happen in the first place?
She pressed her hand to her chest, over where her heart thumped steadily. Gou had known for certain that she had been truly in love with her brother even before falling to her fever. It was just a matter or whether or not she should give into her feelings. And there was no doubt that Rin felt the same way, if not more. The way her brother made love to her… the way her name sounded on his lips in the throes of passion… And those eyes of his, looking into her so deeply as if he was admiring her naked soul and memorizing it just as he'd memorize her every curve.
Gou's hand fell down to her swollen belly, caressing her baby bump like an afterthought.
I know Onii-chan loves me… So there's no way he actually cheated on me, right?
Not after everything they'd been through together...
Still, anger tightened in her chest at the thought of Rin lying to her like that. It was hard to trust her brother hadn't slept with another girl when he couldn't even give Gou a proper excuse for why he'd somehow missed the train home after months of planning.
With a sigh, Gou returned her attention to the computer monitor and clicked to begin her own thread in the forum. Her fingers danced across the keys, sometimes pausing and hitting the delete button before continuing on.
RedApple_Girl: I need advice…. I don't know what to do. It all started a few months ago when I came down with a fever. My handsome and amazing brother of an athlete, whom I'd been in love with for a long while already, took the time to take care of me. Then, one thing led to another and we ended up having sex without protection. It was just raw, wholesome, and passionate sex. Like animals in heat and mating together, except it wasn't just about lust. It was everything. We didn't think of it as brother and sister, but as a man and woman making love together. We've been keeping our relationship a secret and have been using protection since then, but… somehow, I ended up pregnant.
My brother doesn't know, and I'm not sure if he should. I know he loves me, but the baby could ruin his future as an athlete… as a future Olympian. I don't even know what to do if my mother finds out. She's already lost someone she loves and stresses herself over her family. It's too complicated to explain it all in detail here... I just don't know if I should have the baby or not.
She clicked the 'post' button.
A/N: Thank you all for waiting! I sincerely apologize for my long absence. I had been busy with college, graduation, exams... and now I have my RN license as a nurse! My life as a young adult is pretty hectic, so I can't promise regular updates, but I can promise that I will see this story to the end no matter how long it takes.
Also, some of those "personal accounts" that Gou was reading are actual real-life stories that I had to search for. Of course, I summarized the stories into my own words, but it's still pretty disturbing to see how popular incest is than it's made out to be, even if it's just borderline. That said, if you or somebody you know is a victim of sexual assault, there are resources like RAINN (Rape, Abuse, & Incest National Network) available!