A/N: Whoops, I completely forgot: Yesterday would've been Evan's birthday! And I didn't post an update. Well, here's one now. Enjoy!

Chapter 31

2016

"I'm so tired." Alex hated herself for saying it, but it was true.

"Tired" wasn't even the right word for it. "Exhausted" might be a better one, but that one didn't quite cut it either.

And, yes, she had every right to be both, but that didn't mean she could just give in. Evan was off with SG-1. Jonas was with them. Oliver and the rest of their team had tagged along. Anna was no big help, neither was Amanda. And that constant fighting was sure to drive Alex crazy. She closed her laptop with a snap. Her eyes were burning, her heart was pumping wildly and Grace had just hit Caleb over the head with her doll.

She knew she should get up.

She knew she had to tell Grace off and comfort Caleb, but she couldn't move.

This was all too much and Ellen and her boys were off to get groceries. She was all alone, and she needed to work on this translation. Alright, she didn't need to. It wasn't anything important, just another manual, but it was work and it helped her get through the night. Working through the night, forgetting that the place beside her had been empty for three months, meant that she was far too tired to take care of her children the next day and she hated herself for it. For allowing herself to wallow.

She pinched the back of her nose, trying to drown out the squeals and to collect herself before turning to face her children. Caleb had grabbed Grace's doll and was about to start cutting of the hair, while Grace wailed and started throwing duplos. "Oh, for heaven's sake!" Alex groaned, getting up and wiping the tears from her burning eyes. "Stop that right now!" she shouted, her feeble voice yet another reminder that Evan being here would've made this a whole lot better.

But Evan wasn't here.

Evan might be dead for all she knew.

Caleb pretended not to hear her and cut off the first strand of hair, making Grace throw the next plastic stone at Caleb's face. She had excellent aim.

"STOP IT!" Alex shouted, ripping the scissors from Caleb's hand. With no further ado, she picked up Grace and immediately Caleb started crying as well. "Oh come on," she muttered at the eight-year-old. "Knock it off."

"She hit me!"

"With a soft toy!"

"Mommy!"

"Oh Grace, please…" She rolled her eyes and the sound of a car outside brought tears to her eyes again. Well, there went the bare minimum of dignity she's been able to uphold.

"Mommy, my doll!"

Alex sighed and wiped her eyes, knowing full well they were red and blotchy anyway. She just wanted Evan to be back here. To help. To hold her. To tell off their children so she didn't have to.

And she hated wishing it, only because she needed help. Not primarily because she needed him and that was all. She hiccuped. "Why are you crying?!" Caleb asked, his voice husky and Alex hid her eyes behind her hand as the door opened and Evan's sister walked in with Paul and Simon. "Mom, I'm sorry!"

She didn't even bother turning away. No use pretending that hole in her chest and the accompanying self-loathing didn't exist. This world, this whole galaxy, was in trouble and she was crying over her children squabbling. She was nothing but a pathetic mess.

"Oh boy," she heard Simon say. There was a pause during which Alex didn't move.

"Mommy, let me down," Grace said quietly and Alex complied at once. Grace was getting too heavy for this anyway. But once she put down her daughter, she didn't find it in her to get up again.

"Paul," Ellen said, but she didn't need to go on. She and her sons were here on holiday officially. In reality they had come over to keep Alex and their children company.

"Come on, let's check out the new swing set in the park," she heard Simon say and Caleb's hand brushed through her hair. Grace kissed her cheek and a few seconds later they were gone.

"I'm sorry," Alex whispered, forcing herself to look up. Ellen was standing in the doorway to the living room, hands on her hips, her head tilted slightly to the side. "I'm such a mess."

"Of course you are," Ellen sighed. Without another word she sat down opposite Alex and took her hand. They'd been friends for years, but they hadn't talked for a long while. With Alex and Evan in another galaxy, it'd been hard to keep in touch. But they had returned here five years ago and ever since Ellen had been a regular visitor here. Sometimes Roger came along as well and he and Evan got along… everything could be okay…

But Evan wasn't here.

Alex hiccupped again, freed her hand, and shook her head. "Sorry, I'm not like this normally."

"I know… this is the first time he's been gone this long, hasn't it?"

Alex shrugged. Previously when he had to go on long missions, they had been able to keep in touch. Not this time around, though. There was no contact between Earth and the Apollo right now, in case that message was intercepted.

For all they knew, the ship was long gone.

"He always comes back," she forced herself to say and Ellen nodded with a smile that didn't quite reach the deep blue eyes.

"I know."

And he always did. The thing was: one day he might not. And she'd always been okay with it, or she pretended to be. Really, she'd known it might happen and a few times she'd thought it already had. It never got easier.

Alex took a deep breath. "I'd better wash up. Again, I'm sorry."

"Don't be stupid," Ellen said softly just as the phone on the coffee table started ringing. "I'd be the same. And I'm worried, too." Her eyes reminded Alex so much of Evan. It was hard to look at her friend.

"I'm just terrible with the kids… I can't do this."

"Rubbish," Ellen said, more forcefully. "You're tired and worried and things will get better once you had some sleep."

Alex's hand was shaking as she reached behind her to grab the phone. Her breath caught in her chest when she saw the caller ID. She quickly picked up and pressed the phone to her ear. "Yes. Hello? General Landry?"

2034

Caleb sighed, brushing a hand over his eyes, and then turning to look out of the large window. He was still cradling his mug like it was the most precious thing in the universe as he surveyed the mist clinging to the tops of the pine trees.

The sun had just risen and neither of them had gotten a whole lot of sleep. She doubted anyone who had been present at the meeting had slept well. Evan had only shown up in their room in the early hours of the morning, seeking comfort in her arms, but neither of them had slept a wink. He had left again a few minutes before Caleb showed up and it had been years since Alex had felt so useless. Her son at least had managed to drag her out of their small room and down to breakfast.

"You know," Caleb began, lifting his mug to his lips and taking a sip, "I read your reports."

Alex smiled softly and looked down at the mug of black coffee he'd brought for her. "I figured you'd read some."

"No, I mean all of them."

Josh scoffed and rubbed the back of his neck. "Yeah, he did." He had dark circles under his eyes and as he leaned back, he reminded Alex a lot of his mother.

"That's a lot of reports," Alex said and Caleb nodded. For a second there it looked like he was going to say a whole lot more, but instead he just laughed and shook his head.

"I can read, you know."

With a smirk, Alex took another sip of coffee. "I'm aware, yes. And your penmanship is excellent, or so your teacher tells me."

Josh choked on his toast as Caleb's eyes narrowed for a second before he smiled as well. With a slight nod, he leaned back in his chair. "What I meant to say was that I realize what coming back here must mean to you and Dad. And that it can't be easy."

Alex nodded. "No, it's not. One of my team members was either left behind, or he died in Atlantis. Evan's entire team, except for Lucas' dad, is MIA…" Ronon hadn't given them a list of names of survivors, but Alex doubted that list would include all of them. Twenty. Twenty, that was all that was left. "It's been rough. We never used to leave people behind." She turned the mug in her hand. It wasn't true. It was the unofficial motto of the Stargate Program, but there had been more than one occasion when the people in charge had been forced to give up the search for expedition members. So far Evan hadn't been forced to do this as well, but Alex couldn't help but think that the day wasn't far away.

"Lucas told me they lost a member of their team on his third mission," Josh said and Caleb's head snapped around immediately, but Josh pretended not to notice.

"Yes, Grace was devastated," Alex answered, shuddering at the thought. Kevin Whitby, a linguist, who had been assigned to Grace's team for a recon mission, had been killed by a weapon which one of the old System Lords had left behind. SG-8 was supposed to check out the old Goa'uld burial site which Alex and her team had discovered years and years ago. Grace had come home to Alex that night, shaking all over. "It happens."

Caleb turned the mug in his hands and nodded. He cleared his throat. "D'you think these people are gonna want to come back with us?"

Alex shrugged. "I don't know. Some of them. Maybe." Who could tell, really? Especially since the chance of them getting back here again were slim to none. They had made a life here, some of them might even have started a family. She bit her lip and emptied her mug, taking out her tablet and turning it on. Time to change the subject. They weren't going to return to the village until the sun had fully risen and this was as good an opportunity as any. "When you get back, you'll want to investigate the area around Castel del Monte again, I guess?"

"Yeah," Josh cleared his throat and picking up the thread straight away. "If we get permission from the regional government that is. When we left our request was still pending."

"Ah," Alex said, barely able to keep back a smirk when she saw Evan approaching, a mug in his hand. "Ask him to speed it up, then," she suggested and Josh turned around with raised eyebrows.

"Really?"

"Really what?" Evan asked, standing next to Alex, his hand on the back of her chair.

"Can you speed up permissions to dig at Castel del Monte?" Caleb asked with a slight frown.

Evan cocked his head and nodded pensively, his thumb tracing Alex's shoulder blade inconspicuously. He would never have done this as Sheppard's right hand back on Atlantis. "I've assigned your team to that job, haven't I?" he asked with a raised eyebrow at Josh, who nodded once. "Well, that should help. I'll make a couple of calls when we get back. Shouldn't be a problem. Bates is still working for the IOA, that should help pulling a couple of extra strings."

"Ah, the infamous string pulling of international politics," Caleb said, but for once there was no testiness in his voice. "D'you think it'll work?"

Evan shrugged. "String pulling got us on a dig at Giza back in the day. Got Carter on a fun research trip when the Russians found an abandoned Ancient outpost in Siberia."

"Yes, that was fun," Carter chimed in, pulling up a chair and sitting down next to Caleb, who stared at her wide-eyed. Clearly he hadn't expected the commander of this ship to casually sit down next to them, no matter how often she'd been at their house as he was growing up. She looked weary and about as tired as Evan felt. She and Evan had spent most of the night talking over their options. This ship would only take another day to repair.

"Do you think you can get them to take a look at the Castel itself? Foundations and stuff?"

Evan shrugged. "Should be fun to demand that during tourist season," he muttered with a grin. He wasn't wrong. "Maybe if you wait 'till autumn?"

Josh nodded with a small smile and he pulled Alex's tablet towards himself, where she'd already opened up the file and the notes she'd made on the Pegasus equivalent. "This is going to be so much fun."

With a short laugh, Caleb stretched and folded his hands behind his head. "Any chance we could get to that original place of gathering in the Milky Way?" he asked Carter who shrugged.

"Heliopolis?" she smiled ruefully and shook her head. "We went back years ago. Nothing left. But that mission to the Nox homeworld still stands. We're supposed to go there once we get back…"

Biting his lip, Evan pulled up a chair and sat down next to Alex. He'd been the one to push back the mission to the Nox homeworld. Somehow he'd been hard pressed to find it in him to trust them again. But he'd never admit openly that it was he who had been stalling, because he didn't want his daughter to go to that planet after Alex had been trapped there the last time.

Caleb smiled. "Did you ever get them to tell you about this alliance with that unknown race here in Pegasus?" he asked his mother.

"They didn't know," she said, "but there are Asgard here in Pegasus and none of the Asgard we ever knew was aware of those." She shrugged.

"They could've been lying," Josh said and Alex shrugged.

"The Nox aren't the lying type," Carter said, wiping her face.

"No, they were just blissfully unaware their once-allies had become power hungry and hell-bent on dominating the universe." Evan hated the touch of sarcasm in his voice and quickly hid his face behind his mug. Being tired really didn't improve his mood.

"They could've just beamed us over," Mitchell said, stretching as they walked along the long corridor. "Would've been easier and far quicker."

"The Daedalus' beaming technology is still being upgraded," Carter said. She was back on her feet, although she was still in recovery. Evan had taken her bag without even bothering to offer. When someone got shot for you and volunteered to let themselves get killed, the least you could do was carry their bag.

"Meetings with the President never get old, though." Mitchell shrugged.

"Speak for yourself," Evan muttered. After the ordeal with the Furlings, he would've loved getting home sooner rather than later, but he hadn't even had time to call Alex yet.

"Well, it's not every day you get to defeat an evil alien, clear the way for a peace treaty and then get treated to a marvellous lunch at the White House."

"Cam, stop being modest, will you? It doesn't suit you." Carter said, rolling her eyes at Evan as they headed for the exit. The small terminal for Air Force Personnel at Peterson appeared to be even smaller today. It was barely in use anymore.

Mitchell was first at the door, which slid open to reveal a hall far too big for such a small airfield and Evan's eyes flew immediately to the blond woman and the two children standing in front of her. He didn't acknowledge O'Neill or Oscar, Mitchell's husband.

He couldn't.

Not when he saw Alex's eyes sparkle with tears, or the wide grin on Grace's face which revealed a missing tooth. Caleb laughed and held up a poster on which Evan could clearly make out Ellen's handwriting.

Laughing, Evan pushed past Mitchell, dropped his and Carter's bag and knelt in front of his children, pulling them into a tight embrace. A second later he smelled Alex and felt her arms around him.

"Dad! Good you're home!" Caleb laughed.

"What'd you bring us?" Grace asked, making Evan laugh as he pulled away and kissed the top of her head.

"Chocolate," he answered. He'd picked up several bars of Toblerone in Washington.

"Oh, that's good!" Grace said and Caleb nodded.

"Mom said we're gonna have a barbecue at Cameron's place!" Caleb said and Evan nodded. He was tired, but that didn't matter. He was just relieved to be back. He laughed and kissed first Caleb's forehead, then Alex full on the lips before he leaned back and read out the poster.

DAD

So glad you're home…

MOM

Quit 2 weeks ago.

He felt a wave of relief wash over him. He was home. And for now they were all safe.

"It wasn't their fault," Carter argued. "The Nox-"

Evan was shaking his head, but before he could retort, he spotted a Sergeant approach him directly from the corridor, interrupting Carter more efficiently than harsh words could.

"General," he said, standing upright, his hands clasped tightly at his side. He was relatively new to the program. "Colonel," he looked briefly at Carter, but then his eyes flew back to Evan. A twinge of fear was in his eyes and Evan got the sense that he wasn't going to like this.

"What is it, Peters?" he put down his mug next to Alex's.

"Sir, a patrol found Lieutenant Lorne and Mr Emmagan lying in a field near the village. They're both unconscious and are being brought onboard as we speak."

Evan fought the impulse to jump to his feet. He felt Alex's hand dig into his shirt and he nodded slowly, as his heart seemed to have forgotten how to beat. "Thanks," he said hoarsely, while Caleb was already up.

"They'll be in the infirmary momentarily, Sir."

A/N: I got the idea for the poster from an article which listed weird pictures taken at airports. It was too delicious not to use it.

Okay, another cliffhanger. I'm so so so so sorry! But then again, maybe I'm not.