After burying his face into the couch and screaming about how he had majorly fucked up into the plush fabric, Hawks felt a little better. Still, he could feel the beginnings of an anxiety attack forming in the lower part of his back, where it liked to nestle between his wings and clench at his breath sometimes. It didn't happen often, since he was basically bred into someone with a laid back personality.

If anyone should be the one having panic attacks it was Dabi, and Hawks was the one supposed to calm him down and offer him badly brewed tea that would make the other crack a teasing smirk and roll his eyes.

Dabi; that Hawks had left at the Todoroki household by himself. No- Dabi was a Todoroki too, so he had to be fine, right? Hawks didn't have any siblings, so he wouldn't know what getting along with them was like, but he hoped that they would at least understand. At the very least, Hawks knew that Rei would try and take care of him, though he didn't know how well that would go over.

He could really go for someone like Rei right now, if he was being completely honest.

Wracking his brain, he legitimately couldn't think of anyone that he could go to. He couldn't go to the Commission now, or anyone involved with them. Even speaking to another Hero about this was probably not a great idea, since he didn't know who would react favorably to the information and who wouldn't. Rumi was a consideration for a moment, but he didn't want to drag her reputation down with his shit either, they weren't that close. He didn't even have any family to talk to, since he hadn't had contact with his mother in over ten years besides seeing a portion of his paycheck get transferred off to her, and honestly didn't even remember her phone number.

The only person that he actually remembered saying anything about being there to help him was Rei. He had called her that one time, to find out where Dabi had run off to after leaving Hawks with that painful phone call, and she had offered to be there for him as well. Most likely this was because she knew that Hawks had feelings for her son Touya, and she knew how much of a mess he was currently.

He could just show up and talk to her, right? If anything, he would get to see Dabi again, even if he did back out of asking for help. It was terrifying to think about exposing that part of himself, especially since he had no idea what was going to happen.

Would the Commission try and roast his ass by exposing his actions to the public? Would they turn a blind eye to everything and cover it up and force Hawks to continue as a Hero? He didn't know which one was worse.

Letting out a tense sigh he finally peeled his thoughts away and found his phone again, checking the time. It was too late for this, he really should be sleeping. Yet, he knew he wouldn't be able to.

Shoving his phone into his pocket he gathered a few spare pairs of clothing and shoved them in a duffel bag along with some other necessities. Hopefully he'd be able to stay with Dabi, because he was pretty sure that he wouldn't be able to sleep at all if he stayed at his apartment. At the very least, he could crash on their couch for the night.

Grabbing his keys and a jacket he picked up the bag before heading out the door, locking his apartment behind him as he left. Would the Commission take that from him too, since he was living there as a part of their deal with him? He didn't know if he could deal with being homeless on top of everything else. That was too much to think about right now.

Squeezing his wings into his car he plopped the duffel bag into the passenger seat, letting out a sigh after closing the door. This was fine. He was going to be fine. He had to be fine. It's not like he couldn't take care of himself without the Commission constantly hovering over him, right? It's not like he was completely controlled ever since he was a child- except that he was.

Well, this pep talk wasn't really helping.

Shaking his head, he put his keys in and started up the car to drive over to the Todoroki's house. Normally he would have flown, but he didn't really feel like losing his already sparse focus and falling out of the sky tonight.

Thankfully he managed to get there fine, without any accidents or the Commission trying to contact him. He was practically waiting for the minute that they would come after him, and he definitely wasn't looking forward to it.

He pulled his car into the driveway, parking behind the one that he didn't recognize as being there before. That must have been Dabi's siblings who were out and now came back. Hawks really hoped everything went okay with that, because he didn't know what would happen if Dabi had another breakdown here.

He left his duffel bag in the car at first, not wanting to make it seem like the reason he came was to crash there. He could always come back out and get it. Steeling himself up for it, he got out of the car and headed up the walk to the door, his wings bristling in order to sort themselves out nicely from the drive. It's not like he had time to preen them, so however they look is gonna have to be fine.

Knocking twice, he then heard the sound of shuffling on the other side before the door was unlocked and swung open.

"Hawks?" Fuyumi was the one to open the door, a look of slight surprise on her face at his unannounced arrival until it seemed to click for her. Of course the Number 2 hero would show up because Dabi was there. "Oh, you've come because of Touya, haven't you? I can, um.." She opened the door further, stepping back to let Hawks inside. Her slight mumbling was cut off by Rei, who appeared around the corner from the kitchen.

"Fuyumi, why don't you take this snack to Shouto and Natsuo, they're trying to study in the back bedroom together." Rei said softly, holding out the bowl for Fuyumi to take and then make her exit.

"Of course." Fuyumi nodded, giving Hawks a somewhat hesitant but genuine smile before she turned to take the snack to her brothers and leave Rei and Hawks in the entry to the kitchen.

"Back so soon?" Rei waited till the bedroom door was closed before speaking, her hands clasp lightly in front her. She was wearing a fairly simple but comfortable outfit, with a soft pale blue cardigan sweater. She looked fragile in a way, but Hawks knew she was anything but that now.

Still, he instantly felt as if he was intruding on a family moment here, and didn't step any further into the house or even take his shoes off yet. With the somewhat noticeable awkward tension in the air, it was clear that the Todoroki's were still working some things out themselves. Hawks didn't see Dabi from where he was standing, so he had to be somewhere else in the house, and the rest of the siblings were camped out in the back bedroom. Possibly to be away from Dabi? Hawks wouldn't blame them, especially Shouto. He hadn't been there, but he knew that Dabi had attacked Shouto and his friends on several occasions. There had to be tension there, even if Rei and Fuyumi were acting as the middle-women.

"Aha, yeah- I just thought that maybe it would be a good idea to check up on you guys. Y'know, make sure that everything went down okay with the reunion." Hawks said with a smile, shrugging slightly as he tried to seem as normal as possible. This was fine, he could just check up on Dabi and make sure that he was okay. He didn't need to put more trouble on the Todorokis.

Yeah.

This was fine. He just had to breathe.

"Thank you, Hawks. We're doing alright." Rei responded with her soft expression, taking a step back to show that he was welcome to come into the house. "Is there something else you need? Would you like to stay with Touya?"

"Ah- no, actually I need to go." Hawks declined politely with a shake of his head, it becoming harder for him to hold the typical smile on his lips. Rei was so nice now, really, and Hawks had to admit that he was a little jealous of Dabi. That was a new sensation for sure. He was also pretty sure that he'd start to crack if he stayed any longer, and Hawks definitely couldn't put that burden on Rei if he broke down.

Hawks was supposed to be the one that was always strong and put together, so that he could be there for Dabi. This was his own problem, and no one else had to deal with it.

Plus, wasn't this what he wanted? He felt trapped, and wanted freedom, but now that he had the freedom he thought he wanted, he wanted to run right back to the people that were trapping him in the first place. The Commission was what was familiar and protective to him, and he wasn't sure what he was going to do without them.

"Are you sure?" She asked again, briefly snapping Hawks out of his thoughts, "You saved my Touya, I would be more than happy to let you stay. It's alright."

"Really, I don't mean to intrude on your family-"

"Hawks." Rei interrupted him, which slightly surprised Hawks. "I don't mean to pry, so forgive my boldness, but I'm not blind."

"I- I don't know what you mean by that." Hawks replied after a few seconds, regretting the way that his voice caught at the beginning of his words. He felt called out, vulnerable, like he wanted to hide behind his wig, but he knew that would not help his case in trying to defend himself and his supposed stable state of mind.

"It took me a long time to admit that I needed help." Rei said, not changing her tone any from the even way that she spoke, but Hawks could feel the concern just lurking behind the words. "I know that look in your eyes. What happened?"