Lysander
I started to feel tremendously guilty during The Gathering. I never looked at her with my eyes, but I could feel how miserable Allyn was. She was bored, alone. The hatred that the other fae sent her direction was wearing her down. I needed to find a time to talk to her, but I just could not find the time. What little free time I had during these days was taken up by Aibel's demands. I just could not find the moment to talk to her face to face.
I sighed on my way to Aibel's room. It was hard. If it were anyone else (barring Erin), I would not have bothered me. Allyn made me feel different. She shattered the facade that I had spent the last few decades perfecting.
I looked at Aibel. My guilt especially wasn't helped by all of the time that I was spending with her.
We stepped off of the carpeted hall and onto the bare entryway to the chambers. When I placed my foot on the ground, I felt the earth around me shift ever so slightly. The color began to drain out of my face. I ignored it and kept walking forward. It was a far away tremor, it was nothing. It was nothing, it was fine.
The aftershocks were even softer and harder to detect, but now that I was on high alert, it felt like the walls around me were shaking. I stopped dead in my tracks, a stone settling in my stomach. My skin began to crawl.
"Lysander, are you okay?" Aibel asked. She grabbed my hand and came closer to me. I swallowed the lump that had formed in my throat.
"Yeah. I'm...fine," I said, my voice cracking. There were millions of tons of stone above and around me. The nearest exit was at least a quarter mile away, the surface even further. I was completed trapped down here. There was no escape.
I took a deep breath. I could sense the fault lines, the cracks in the walls and ceiling.
They have stood for millenia. There is no reason why they should fall now, I reminded myself.
How long have the keystones been gone? How long have things decayed without the magic to keep them stable? I couldn't keep the intrusive thoughts out.
I paled even more, my skin becoming a ghostly white. My stomach started to rebel against me. I could not let myself take another step, otherwise I might flee from the mountain entirely.
"Lysander!" Aibel cried, even more worried.
"H-have I ever told you that I have a fear of enclosed spaces?" I said breathlessly. It was taking all of my willpower not to have a panic attack. I got down on the ground and pushed myself against the wall. "I'll...be fine." I pulled myself into a meditative position. "I just need a moment, please."
I did not wait for her response before practically launching myself out of my body. I sailed through the air for a moment, embracing the feeling of nothingness.
Then I drifted into the floor.
The panic began to rise again, this time all the more consuming. When there are no senses to distract you, emotions are far more powerful.
I needed to get out of here to catch my breath, but the mountain was too big. I couldn't winnow out and travelling via float would take too long. No, I only had one option.
I pushed myself one bit farther and, for the first time in years, let go of reality completely.
Absolute nothingness surrounded me.
The void is indescribable. There is no color, no feeling, no smells, no sound. But saying there is none of something implies that something could be. But nothing can and nothing will. I was completely alone with just my thoughts, which rapidly melted into the nothingness that stretched into infinity.
It was almost calming, but not quite. Any creature, born with a consciousness, will begin to lose their mind the instant they come into contact. But it can never be truly lost. You will immediately begin to lose memories, of your day or of people you knew a long time ago. In time, you'll forget the names of those closest to you and eventually your own. But you won't ever be gone, only thoughtless, nameless, senseless. It was a hell worse than hell itself.
But I was pretty good at not letting that happen to me. And, for right now, the void was a preferable alternative to reality.
My name is Lysander Ironwill. I thought to myself. Careful concentration was the only way to resist - and to keep myself calm. My mother was named Glenn. A strange quirk of being here is that it allowed you to re-shape your personality and memories how you wanted...at least to an extent. I do not know who my father was. I was born in the mines, I lived in them throughout my life. I have no fear of the earth. I was born into it. I shape it. I am in control.
A memory lingered at the edges of my thought. I tried to recall what it was about without getting pulled in entirely. I could sense that it was a core memory, something important. I looked harder and took a step too far.
The air was cold, wet, and salty like it was everywhere in Trotten. The harsh white faelight filled the room and bounced off of the equally white walls. There were no shadows and yet the room felt dark. Glenn groaned.
I jumped up from my seat on the floor and rushed over to the bed where she lay.
"Can I get anything for you, mom?" My voice was young, higher pitched. I was barely twenty years old at this time in my life and had yet to gain control of my magic.
"Water, more water," she murmured. "I'm thirsty." She was shaking uncontrollably, the layers of blankets and burlap sacks doing little to calm her fever. I rushed out of the room and returned with a canteen of water. I raised it to her lips and she drank, liquid spilling out of the sides of her mouth.
"You need a healer," I said. "I don't think you can fight this off on your own." The illness was fae in origin. A human stood no good chance of surviving. She shook her head.
"I'll be okay, don't worry son." I scowled, but kept my voice soft.
"But I am worried. I can fix this." I lowered my voice even more. "The guards keep leaving the doors to the bank open."
"No!" she said, as stern as ever. "I don't want to risk that. You know what they did last time." To tell the truth, my back still stung from the last time I was caught pickpocketing.
"I don't care if I get caught," I said. "I'll fight them off. What do we have to lose?" I was bigger now, stronger. The only thing stopping me from beating the guard who whipped me was the fear of what would happen to Glenn. Now, what did it matter?
"No, …." the second word she said was muffled. It was the real name she gave me. I'd forgotten it a long time ago. "No. You can still lose yourself. I don't want that. I've lived a long time. Forty years is old for a human. You have centuries, maybe even millennia ahead of you. Don't lose that." I grit my teeth, refusing to say anything.
I was angry, but not at her. I was angry at my father, whoever he was, for putting us here. I was angry at the guards and the other miners for refusing to help her. I was angry at the system, for letting this torture continue. I was angry at the world, for letting her get so sick. I was angry at myself, for being powerless to help.
When I came back, I was sad, but calm. The fear of another collapse faded, at least for the time being.
Aibel was watching me, worry etched into all the lines on her face.
"Are you okay?" she asked. I gave her a genuine-looking smile, my facade firmly back into place.
"I am now."
Allyn
I sat in front of the mirror, alone. I put the ear pieces on, and studied my face.
They were tall, jeweled. They accentuated the sharpness of my chin and cheekbones and made my already-small nose look just a bit smaller. They did not make me look bad, just...different. More like my mother. Almost exactly like my mother. I was not a fan.
I took them off and went back to looking normal. The normal that other fae did not like. The normal that all the other fae knew I was and refused to tolerate.
I put them back on. I'd blend in. I could have fun, like I did on that date with Kendryek so long ago.
I took them off. Kendryek wouldn't approve of how I obtained them. And his word was more or less the law.
I hid them in my jewelry box and glanced at the clock on the wall.
I jumped up, it was five minutes past when I'd agreed to meet with him.
He wasn't in our room nor the main. I knocked on Rosalind's door.
"Yes?" she asked.
"Where is Kendryek?" I asked.
"He told me to tell you that he'll meet you at the party," she said. "He said he'll find you." I sighed.
"Are you coming?"
"No," she said quietly. "I've had enough of talking with people. I'm just going to get some extra rest today." Her voice wavered. I pursed my lips.
"Fair enough," I replied, grabbing my mask off of the table and tying it on. I was a pretty thing, a mix of sea green and a dark blue. Peacock feathers sprouted from one of the sides. "Well, I'll be at the party."
"Alright, have fun."
I entered the ballroom and looked around. I felt just as exposed as ever with my ears just barely being covered by my hair. Anyone who looked hard enough could tell it was me. There was only one white-haired half fae in this room.
The majority of the fae were either milling about on one side or dancing near the performers. I moved along the side of the two groups and scanned the crowd for another pair of dulled ears or Kendryek's mask.
The fae moved more freely tonight. Bodies were closer, laughs were more free, and there was a lot more flirting. I was saw fae who I could have named - and wondered, why even bother with the masks? Unless the masks were just a charade...
As I moved close, people moved out of the way. They kept a good distance from me, not letting me get in close.
I counted the rounded ears that I could see. Only three pairs and all of them belonged to fae with brown hair. Lysander was not here. Kendryek was not to be found.
I wandered over to the drinks table and grabbed a glass of, something. I vaguely remembered being told to stay away from the drinks because they might be drugged and decided against drinking it. I walked to the other end of the serving table and spoke to a servant so they could take it away for me.
When I turned around, I found myself face to face with a Night Court Fae. She was a striking woman with sleek black hair and a mask that was surely less beautiful than the face it covered. She peered at me with two sharp purple eyes.
"You're luck you're even here," she spat at me. I raised my eyebrows. I looked to the sides before replying.
"Shouldn't you be cleaning up bat poop or something?" I pressed my hands to my sides to keep them from shaking.
"In my court, dull eared fae like you would be honored to do such a job."
"Great, I'll keep that in mind if I ever have the misfortune of visiting the twisted hellscape you call 'home.'" She smirked.
"You may be visiting soon, Kendryek has taken a liking to Night Court women." I felt a pang in my heart that was...less than expected. I shrugged.
"So what? I can dye my hair black and wear purple too," I said, pointing at a handful of grey roots that were peeking through her otherwise pitch-dark hair. This time, she kept her mouth shut for a moment.
"You have insulted a high ranking member of the Night Court," she snapped. I rolled my eyes.
"You started it." She talked over me.
"I have a bloodline a hundred times more pure than yours." I sighed.
"I'm sure you do." At this point the insults were getting boring.
"You are going to regret this."
"I'm sure I will." She clenched a fist.
"Kendryek isn't satisfied with you." Great, tell me something I didn't already know.
"I'm sure he isn't, now can you politely fuck off?" She tutted and strode away. I took a deep breath and walked in the opposite direction. I briefly forgot my manners and popped my knuckles, resulting in a few more odd looks than normal.
I blushed and picked up the pace at which I walked. I found a vacant table, far from anyone else, and sat down. I stared into the distance and thought about what that woman had said.
She could have just been saying things to get on my nerves, but I also didn't think she was lying. I stared blindly into the groups of fae, still searching for a familiar face. I didn't think I'd ever find one.
A man sat down at my table, surprising me. It was Kendryek, I knew it immediately. He had a faint blush to his cheeks.
"Nice of you to show up," I said. It had been a long time since I'd felt this bitter and alone.
"Sorry," he said, sounding out of breath. "I had a hard time finding you."
"I'm one of five total half-faes in at least a five mile radius and I'm sitting at an empty table, surrounded by no one," I replied.
There was a moment of silence.
"I don't really feel like being here," I said suddenly. "I'm going to go back to the room. Do...whatever you want. I don't care." I softened my voice. "Just have fun. Please." I stood up and walked away without waiting for a reply. I heard him call my name, but I didn't stop.
I soon found myself back in the Autumn Court wing of the place. I distantly heard a male voice from Rosalind's room, but it was quickly silenced. I thought nothing of it, found my door, walked inside, and slammed it behind me.
I was mad. Incredibly mad.
I paced along the walls of my room, seething. My skin crawled with rage. I wanted to do something terribly destructive.
I stopped.
"I could…" I said aloud as I went into the bathroom to find my earpieces. "Now that I no longer have any plans…"
I fitted them over my ears and tightened them into place. Who would recognize me now?
On my way back to the party I caught a servant moving between two doors. They were a small, brown haired fae with a pair of similarly colored wings. His face was obscured by a mask, but I could tell he was strangely young. I stopped them and asked for assistance.
"I'm not allowed to give-I can grab someone else who." I held up my hand to make him stop.
"It'll just be a moment, come this way," I said in a commanding tone. I led him to a more secluded area. "Close your eyes," I said, leaning in. He looked confused, but did as I said. I kissed him lightly on the lips, quickly changing my mask out for his.
"Wha- what?" he asked, beet red. I smiled and winked at him, before heading back to the party as a brand new fae.
Lysander
I sat at one of the tables, unsure of what to do with myself. Normally I'd be breaking into people's minds and stealing information, but after last night's mistake many fae were on high alert. I couldn't risk another incident like the one with Samanthia.
This time around, since I had some spare magic, I changed my hair and eye color as well as my ear shape. I blended in perfectly and I could (theoretically) use this to my advantage. But, now that I was here, I had no idea what to do.
And, to be honest, I didn't know what I wanted to do. I could have distantly observed people's thoughts as a form of advanced people watching, but all my remaining magic had been used on transforming my appearance. I also could have found some attractive fae to bed, but I'd had enough with Aibel. There was no one truly worth talking to here since all the fun ones were usually required to stay home. I wanted to leave, and yet I felt obligated to stay.
So, I sat back in my chair, held a chalice full of water, and did my best to enjoy the atmosphere.
Allyn
As soon as I entered the room I made my way to the group of dancing fae and joined in.
The air was warm and heavy from the dancing and the closeness of bodies. Things were simple and intense. I picked up the feel for what was going on quickly and adapted to it.
I wasn't good at dancing, but I also wasn't any worse than the fae who had already had a few too many drinks. I bumped into a male fae and danced with him for a bit before the group shifted and partners changed.
Now I was with another man. Then another and another.
I danced until I was sweaty and out of breath. I stepped out of the group to go get a glass of water. On my way back to the tables, I noticed a male fae sitting alone at one. He did not look like anything special, blond hair, blue eyes, and a mask of moderate intricacy. But, my stomach fluttered when I set eyes on him. He felt, different somehow.
And, he appeared to be alone.
So I took a deep breath and headed over to talk to him.