Another Second Chance
by Castlefan6
Authors Note: Another What If based on the episode, A Deadly Game, what happened if Rick didn't return to the precinct after leaving and this was really their last case. What would each other's lives have looked like? The story starts with Canon dialog, courtesy of Dust Jackets Dot Com, then goes quickly and completely AU. The journey continues with a new Kate and Rick, hope you enjoy!
I don't own Castle; I use the characters for amusement purposes only, except the ones I create.
Also, we may take liberties with the timeline from Canon and use events to make this a more believable fiction, thanks.
Chapter 23
Castle's Residence
Pismo Beach, California
/_/
Rick had tried his best to tire his little princess out, even swimming extra laps in the pool, and going for a long walk on the beach with Nana holding one hand, him the other, well until she broke free to gather seashells. He was curious about what Gina would confess to about her an Alexis conversation. Both had made hints, he should visit Marcy more often, now that she had returned to New York. Gina was even so bold as to tell him to give the Detective another try if that would make him happy if they only knew, but that was for another day.
FLASHBACK Continued
After the Bracken Arrest Beckett POV
Kate Beckett never forgot the day, time of the hour, or the look on the face of the miserable letch of a human who had ordered her Mother killed, as well as so many others, including Captain Montgomery. She took solace in the fact that his death would be slow, long and slow as most prisoners who spend their sentence in solitary confinement are.
She had talked to Jordan Shaw, woman to woman, after the shock of the arrest wore off, and much to her surprise, Jordan was a lot like she was, well what she had used to be like. She was surprised at how forthcoming and open Jordan was, especially about her and Rick and the young love that went bad.
"Kate, he never cheated, that's something that is just NOT in his DNA. He had plenty of opportunities, but he never strayed, I mean he'd check out girls, but not so blatantly that it would embarrass me when we were together. When we first started, well I guess you call it dating my parents would drive us to the school dance and pick us up. On rare occasions when money was good, they would take us to the hamburger joint, where they sat at a separate booth keeping eye on everything we did,"
Kate laughed, "that sounds so sweet, I mean 8th grade, God what were you 12 years old?"
"I was 13, I have you know, a full-fledged teenager which is why my parents allowed us to 'date'" she laughed, "My Mom absolutely loved Rick, especially after he took dance lessons because I loved to dance, my Dad, well does any dad like any boy who is trying to take his little girl away from him?" she smiled.
"When did it go past the juvenile stage into young love Jordan, I mean if that's not too personal," Kate asked quietly,
"Not at all, Rick was 15, his Mom had arranged a summer camp, well Military School, where he was going to be gone until about a week before school started, I mean Kate he was my boyfriend do I have to paint you a picture?" Jordan blushed,
"Oh My God, you and Rick? I hope to God he had protection, it had to be a spur of the moment, I mean you could have wound up pregnant Jordan" Kate exclaimed,
"Kate, I seduced him, and I stole a three-pack of my brother's condoms, so yes he was my first, probably why I still feel so close to him, why it hurt so bad when I lost him to Kyra. It wasn't until one year later, that we broke up, but in time together, it was probably less than a month once he got home. When I told you, I didn't remember why we broke up, that was a lie, I know exactly why.
"I think I wanted him to come over and he wasn't ready for the sex, being honest, I seduced him and I think he was afraid of me getting pregnant even with protection, he just said no. I felt rejected and humiliated and reacted like any 16-year-old girl would do, I fought with him and we broke up.
"It wasn't two weeks later until Kyra made her move, and well I fucked that up as well. I fought with him about her paying attention and I think he just started to date her to spite me, that backfired for us all. So, you aren't the first female to screw with his mind, and seriously, this is the first time I have ever heard him utter the words, taking time for myself first." Jordan said silently as Kate looked into the distance,
"Jordan does your husband know all this, I mean most guys can't take being the next in line, they all think they want to know but really, they don't, it's always caused problems from my experience with my friends" Kate responded,
"You're asking me if I told Tom who I lost my virginity too? Knowing full well it would do nothing to help him, only destroy a friendship with Rick, and possibly destroy us and our marriage? Hell, No I didn't tell him, he may have figured it out, but I know Rick would never say a word, another quality of him. He's the ultimate gentleman, so the best Tom could do would guess, and that's the way it's stayed."
"Jordan, what do I do now, I mean he's not the same 16-year-old boy he was when you screwed up, but what do I do now to let him know I still love him, I'll always love him," Kate asked, hoping for support from the unlikeliest source.
"Well, one thing is to be sincere, he can spot someone trying to blow smoke up his ass a mile away, he's been in the game far too long to fall for verbal adoration. It's true, you would never have solved this case without Rick, never. It started with his generous gift of $100K, then when he called me, he knew, even if I hated you, I hated injustice more. You should thank him, not by showing up throwing yourself at him, he asked for space, that would backfire on you."
"Then how Jordan, how do I thank him when I can't contact him? Did he really know you hated me? I mean I knew we had our differences during the case"
"You mean like you doing everything you told Rick not to do on your cases, yet I was supposed to turn my head because it was you? That wasn't why I hated you, Kate, you know why now, you'll never be on my Christmas card list until you make things right with Rick.
"How did you reach him the first time Kate, damn it's hard to believe that you're so fucking successful in your job and so dense when it comes to what matters, write him a SHORT meaningful thank you letter. That's it, Thank You, nothing more other than now you can move on when he's ready. No more I'm sorry, he's heard that enough from you, thank him, and shut up," Jordan was looking off in a distance.
"What did you have to thank him for Jordan? I mean if it's too personal, I understand" Kate asked,
"Hell, what could be more personal than telling you the details of how I lost my virginity, remember I said my Mom loved him? She got ill, very ill, it was right after Rick and Alexis had moved back to New York, he hadn't hit it big yet, but he paid for her surgery.
"She had lost her insurance working to put me through school and never gotten it back. Without insurance, the hospital wouldn't perform the surgery, she needed. Long story, Rick called her, when she was crying, and managed to get the truth out of her, next thing the hospital called and told us the surgery was scheduled.
"She lived 12 years after that, and if you dared say a word about Rick, you would get a slap upside your head, even Dad. He even came to her funeral, I know Gina and he had a hell of a fight, but hey he did it anyway.
"He was careful so as I didn't see him, but he was there. So how do you thank someone for giving you years with your Mom you wouldn't have had? Think about how tough that letter was for me to write, and wanting to tell him things that would surely violate my wedding vows, knowing what you know now." She wiped her eyes and walked away,
Kate quietly gathered her purse, "I have a letter to write, Jordan, I'm sorry I caused you pain by hurting Rick, I hope we can end this on good terms."
"Kate, if you ever hurt him again, I will make you pay, I swear on Mom's grave, you will feel every bit of pain you cause, now get out of here," Jordan said as she walked away.
XxX
Kate returned home, stopping only to grab a large coffee to help dull her headache, as she climbed the stairs to her apartment. She felt a sense of freedom she hadn't felt since she was in college. Her mom had finally found justice, even if it had nothing to do with her helping, it didn't matter. Bracken and the others were gone, and now finally she could rest knowing her Mom's case was solved.
Her talk with Jordan had been shocking in so many ways, especially now knowing about the way she felt when Kyra took him away. It was probably as hurtful as she was feeling even though she had no one but herself to blame. She grabbed three aspirins to take with her coffee and started on her letter, she had to get it to the Hamptons before he left for California or she would never have the mailing address.
She closed her eyes, and just began to write,
"Dear Rick,
First, I apologize for writing you this letter, BUT I couldn't let your contributions in solving my Mom's murder go without a huge Thank You, how can I ever say it enough. I know now much more than I did when we worked the Scott Dunn case, and Jordan Shaw is as you put it remarkable, as a person and professionally. She has opened my eyes to many things.
Rick, simply saying or in this case writing Thank You seems so trivial when I consider everything you have done to bring justice to my family. I know I chastised you, punished you, ridiculed you, and made you feel responsible for all of the bad things that occurred. That is except for the day you came to see me after I had to shoot Dick Coonan, once again you tried to walk away, taking responsibility for something entirely not your fault. My God Rick, he had a gun in your ribs, and was close to pulling the trigger, how could that be your fault?
I know you bought a host of items for lunch, but the most important detail I remember from that day, was I had the courage to tell you the truth, I do enjoy you pulling my pigtails, and you made the team better with your out of the box thinking.
I remember your face, how pained you were, and the relief that came over it when I told you I wanted you to stay, I only wish I had maintained that courage throughout our partnership and not did the things I won't go into again.
I wanted to acknowledge that to me, there would have been no closure, no justice for Mom, no bringing Bracken down if not for you, and as small as this is, it's the only way I can let you know, I do thank you from the bottom of my heart. You know how I feel about you, that hasn't or won't change, I'm here when you're ready,
I love you, I always will, Always,
Kate,
She slid it in a plain envelope and called the messenger service to get it to him by tomorrow, the hell with the cost. She walked to her makeshift murder board, folded a storage box, and took down each piece of evidence, with each one it was as if she was putting away another piece of Rick forever.
Perhaps she was, the ball was in his court, and regardless of how much she wanted, or how painful it was to know he was that close to her, she wouldn't invade his privacy, he needed to heal and she was sure his nurse was capable of taking care of all of his needs.
XxX
Hamptons Home
Week Two of Rick's Rehab
The first week had flown by, the girls had met and made friends with some of the daughters of parents Rick was friends with. It was a great week for them, beach, pool, shopping, and then finally they were allowed to drive their cars. They had to sit through a long lecture of how the Hamptons was a small town, and everyone sees everything, including the Sheriff by Rick. He was as bad or worse than their Mom, but they knew he wanted them to be safe.
Once Marcy started to sleep in the same bed, or perhaps it was the new medication prescribed, Rick would swear it was the former, his dreams came, but didn't cause the panic attacks. Marcy was usually able to get him awake, kiss him a few times, to reassure him, and he was back to sleep.
The physical therapy was hell, no other way to describe it, but Rick knew that unless he put the work in his days of every pounding the keys on a keyboard were over, even if he never wanted to write again. His therapist didn't cut him any slack and by the end of the week, he was glad she hadn't. His shoulder began to move more, with less pain, and she had allowed him to begin running again.
That was enjoyable, mostly because it always included Marcy, and often the girls joined in, running and splashing, hearing their laughter brought back so many good memories. The only downside was Marcy hinting, then asking and now demanding he read the letter from Kate, sooner than later, since it was the polite thing to do.
"Rick, I don't know what went on in your call to Kate, nor do I want to, but she deserves to know you read the letter she wrote. She went to the trouble, and expense to get it here special delivery which means it was important to her." Marcy said, holding the envelope,
"You really want me to read that, you know the history and the power she had over me, and you still want me to read it?" Rick asked surprised,
"Definitely, because IF things were to progress with us, I don't want to win by default. I want to know that both our efforts were judged fairly, and I was a choice, not who you settled for. I'm sure Kate wants the same thing if she loves you, and I truly believe she does or at least thinks she does, that's up to you to decide, she deserves an equal chance.
"If our roles were reversed, I would only hope she would be woman enough to want you to be happy, more than anything else in this world. That's your decision Rick, but you can't make it without knowing all the facts, or as you say, 'the rest of the story'." Marcy tried to hide the tear that was forming in her eye,
Rick caught her, pulled her into him, and hugged her tightly,
"You are really something else, do you know that? Most women would do anything to keep the very thought of Kate from entering my mind, you're advocating for her"
"Not her Rick, no Darling, never her, what I want is you to be happy and have no regrets no matter what direction you choose, and seriously, it's pretty apparent, even to you by now, that you have two paths to choose to walk. One leads you to me, the other to Kate," she got out before her voice broke,
"OK, Marcy will you read the letter with me? I know where your heart is, please?" Rick asked her,
"Rick, I would do almost anything you asked, but I can't do that. Kate has said something from her soul to you, and it wouldn't be right for me or anyone other than who SHE wanted to know what she said to know or read." Marcy said the tone let Rick know there was no debate.
"OK, I'll read it, but will you stay close by, I mean I don't know what it's going to say, or how upset it's going to make me" Rick replied,
"Look, Rick, she screwed up, we all do, you talked to her in the hospital and something, some roadblock that you couldn't get over happened in those conversations. That doesn't mean you stopped loving her.
"I know that, and I also had to review your medical history, all of it. Rick, you had every intention of taking that bullet meant for her, you need to admit it to yourself, me, and the doctors, please" This time her tears did fall as she turned and hurried away,
Rick knew, it was time, to be honest with Marcy, who knows perhaps it wasn't this shooting that was causing him the nightmares, even though it had been a long time ago, could they be reappearing now? The physical scars had healed and the plastic surgery hid any reminders, but how do you hide the mental scars. Marcy was right, she deserved to know the truth, all of it.
He had two tasks to complete, both very unpleasant, neither which he looked forward to. The discussion with Marcy was going to be painful, perhaps so much it would change the dynamics of them, God he should have been open from the beginning. To make that even worse, what could Beckett want? He still wasn't sure how to process the last call, and now more information? He did need to call his therapist, and soon. He only hoped that Marcy would still be by his side,
TBC