Hello, hope whoever you are reading this, you're doing ok in the current climate. I'm a motoring on 70% avoidance, so I won't say anymore! Except stay safe

So Chapter 38 was all about the feels! A little warning for 39, there's character death/funeral scenes.

Chapter 38: When I Woke Up and Everything Had Changed

Steve slowly opens his eyes. The light is bright, the curtains aren't pulled and sunlight is streaming in. As he looks around, he smiles as he notices the music posters and stuffed toys. He allows his eyes to adjust and turns on his side, Amelia's next to him, still in her dress, tangled in the skirt, one leg off the bed and one under a blanket. Her hair is just about still in place, with feathered wisps stuck to her lips. Her mouth is parted and she's snoring lightly.

He watches her closely, wondering how this has happened to him. He thinks back to her in the elevator on day one, her shy smile, coy questions and now he cannot picture life without her.

He reaches across and runs a finger over her eyebrow, down her nose and then across her top lip. She mutters and turns into him, still sleeping. When he thinks of every morning starting like this, he considers throwing the shield in and making this his world. He's surprised by his own thoughts and pictures Tony telling him bit early for that, isn't it? He trails her shoulder and collar bone. Her dress dips low under the arms and he can see a little of her tattoo. He kisses her cheek and she mumbles, squirming beside him. Steve's eyes suddenly widen and he leans up and over her, looking to the floor. The ground is empty and his heart rate picks up, wondering where Rosie is. A groggy voice mumbles 'she's with Maggie and Ty.' When Steve looks down, Amelia is between his arms, eyes still closed and a small smirk. 'We are on our own,' she mutters. Steve pulls away to look down at her, as she settles on her back under him. He kisses her lips and slides a hand up her thigh, pulling back to question her, he gives her a confused look. 'Oh, I had all these sexy plans, I took them off when we got in, but I was too tired.' Steve breathes out, relieved she wasn't sat beside Bucky on a bench with no underwear on. Steve mumbles against her neck 'you tired now?' She shakes her head quickly, he smiles at her, 'well, it would be rude not to cross it off the list.' Amelia giggles and bites her lip, throwing her legs behind Steve's and pulling him to lie on top of her. He kisses her deeply and her eyes close, a hand tangling in his hair and the other struggling with his tie. He pulls back and kneels over her, wrestling his tie off and undoing his buttons, she watches him intently and he teases, 'just remind me, Miss Miller, of some other things on that list of yours?' She swallows, consumed by his nimble fingers, watching as they undo his shirt. 'Umm, well, my room, here, I mean. Umm, the quinjet...a conference room table…that supply closet, I have very low standards, apparently.' Steve grins at her, as she forgets everything she listed, but he knows it's burnt into his mind. He sits back and fully looks at her, 'you're beautiful.' She blushes and leans up, lifting her hair and craning her neck, to allow him to pull at the tie of her dress. It slips apart easily and falls down her chest, revealing her, Steve groans and she leans further forward, 'we have to be quiet, my entire family is in the kitchen below us.' Steve smiles and moves to kiss her fully and whispers, 'better cover your mouth then.' Amelia giggles, she likes it when Steve is the authoritative one, with his old fashioned sensibilities, he often lets her take charge. He kisses down her chest and pushes her dress lower, kissing her smooth stomach and stroking her waist. Amelia writhes beneath him, gripping the bedding and anticipating where he might end up, her leg is bent and Steve finds her ankle, tangled in her sage coloured dress. Dragging a hand up her leg, stroking the back of her thigh and landing firmly on her ass. Amelia squirms a little beneath, desperate to touch him, but when she feels his fingers on her, she forgets everything. 'Damn, I was hoping you would still have the boots on.' Amelia laughs wildly and Steve puts a finger to his mouth in an attempt to silence her.

….

Andi wakes up on the sofa bed, in the lounge. She's upside down and as she looks around, she spots Bucky beside her, his feet next to her head. He's in his suit still and she slides a cold hand up his calf. He kicks lightly and whacks her shoulder. She howls in pain and then her head begins to throb from her heavy night. She feels queasy and the taste in her mouth is unpleasant. She sits up slowly, noticing someone else in the room. 'Shit! Dana, you made me jump.' Her new step-mom is over by the window pulling the drapes, blocking the early morning sun. Dana tells her to whisper, 'poor Bucky just got settled, I found him wandering in the barn.' Andi tries to explain and Dana insists she understands. Andi crawls, to land the right way on the bed. Snuggling in next to him, he wraps his arm around her and mutters 'no photos, I need my sword.' Andi giggles at the nonsense. She drifts off again, with her head on his chest.

When she wakes later, Bucky is missing. She looks around for him and then hears laughing. Dragging herself up, she walks into the kitchen. Spying her dad is there, along with Ben, Mel and baby Ewan. Bucky is leaning against a counter. 'Mr Miller was the best teacher, he's a legend around here. Everyone loved math because of him,' Ben explains. Peter looks smug, 'it's true! What can I say. Ben's dad and I were actually school yard friends, just like you and Steve.' Peter is cooking eggs and bacon, as Dana comes in, heading for the baby. 'Melissa, look at this little boy, he's gorgeous.' Andi pipes up, 'I've suggested a paternity test, can't possibly be Ben's!' Dana looks over at the hoarse voiced Andi, 'don't be cruel! I can see it, Ben, don't you worry.' Bucky looks over at Andi, her wild hair, smudged makeup and squinting eyes. She yawns as she trudges further into the room.

'Good afternoon,' Bucky jokes, Andi groans, 'you can't talk, you were sleep talking about needing a sword or something, literally made no sense.' Bucky looks confused as Rosie and Ty come running in from the backyard. Rosie runs up to Andi, her aunt looking down at her warm faced niece, zipping up her winter coat, 'good morning, where's your mamma?' Rosie grabs a drink, slurping it quickly, 'mommy is sleeping, she was yawning loudly and Nana said we must leave her.' Dana raises an eyebrow and everyone in the room can guess about Amelia and Steve's absence. Peter seems none the wiser as he plates up, 'well, if they don't hurry up, they will miss breakfast.'

Mel laughs, 'I think it's brunch by now, Pete and I really don't think they care.' Ben adds, 'I walked past them at the bar last night and I almost thought we had two weddings on the go.' Bucky smirks, 'he doesn't need much encouragement.' Everyone looks at him, like he knows something. Maggie walks in and asks where Steve and Amelia are, she's greeted with giggles. Andi grabs a carton of juice from the fridge, chugging it. 'Gross! Get a glass,' Ben warns her, Andi makes kissing lips at him, an orange line on her top lip. 'Oh yeah, happy new year everyone!' Andi toasts and Dana squeezes her shoulder, 'and to you.'

'Dad! You two should have booked into a hotel, this is no way to start married life.' Peter smiles at the browning bacon and waves a utensil at her, 'this is the perfect way to start married life, starting as we mean to go on, happy home, happy life.' Andi pushes the fridge shut with her shoulder, 'so corny, spare me.' Bucky watches her, 'that's where you get it from, maybe?' Everyone laughs as he challenges her, she smirks, calling, 'Bucky doesn't eat breakfast, so I better have his.' Peter looks him up and down, 'somehow, I don't believe that! Now, Bucky, my boy… we are going for a walk later today, New Year's tradition, you in?' Bucky looks quickly to Andi, 'not my tradition, you do what you want, I'm going back to bed, in my grown up twin room,' she just shrugs. Bucky thinks about it, looking out the window at the crisp morning he decides it could be nice. 'Sure, ok,' he relents and smiles awkwardly. Ben makes a low whistle sound, 'shit, son. What have you done, Buckeroo? Pete's going to lead you out to the forest and leave you stranded there, with all of Andi's other ex-boyfriends.' Mel tells him off for scaring poor Bucky and Peter defends himself. Andi just shakes her head coyly to Bucky and he smiles a little at her, knowing that's just not true.

…..

'We need to get down there, this is so obvious,' Amelia rambles as she moves quickly around her room, trying to make herself look presentable. Steve hasn't moved from the bed, watching her rush around, walking into things and muttering to herself. 'It's your holiday as well...' Steve offers. Amelia stops and looks at him, thinking he's a hypocrite, he's never off-duty. But looking at him now, relaxed in her bed, she feels bad, she wishes they had more time and she thinks about crawling in beside him. She walks over and sits on the edge of the bed, a pair of socks in her hands. 'I'm sorry, this can't be much of a break for you, either. But in my defence, you knew what you were walking in to, you're the mole, after all.' Steve leans up on his elbow and nods sympathetically, before reaching gently under her arm and grabbing the socks, throwing them across the room. Amelia's protests are drowned out as Steve pulls her back into bed, to lie beside him. 'Just five more minutes?' He asks sweetly and then adds, 'and, I've had a great time, I love it here, scout's honour, your family is swell, the house is really something and I don't mind you either.' Amelia laughs and curls into Steve, wrapping him in a hug. 'Is that your phone ringing?' Amelia mumbles into Steve's chest. Steve offers a soft 'shhhhh' and Amelia smiles up at him, 'when did you know that you loved me?' She asks, out of the blue. Steve looks a little panicked and then jokes, 'maybe we should get down there.' Amelia lightly slaps his arm, 'I'm serious.' Steve closes his eyes and pretends to consider this, 'probably over those chicken nuggets, at the drive-thru, but when you kissed me the next morning, I knew for sure.' Amelia stares at him in awe and leans in to kiss him, muttering, 'maybe they can wait another ten minutes.' Steve agrees with a nod and pulls her closer.

'Hey, why don't we stay an extra couple of days? Tony hasn't found me yet, Rosie is happy, Bucky seems ok and you are off work for a few more days, so let's stay.' Amelia looks at him in surprise, 'really? You're not bored yet?' Steve smiles, pushing hair from her face, 'of you or country life?' Amelia looks at him dryly, turning serious, 'we can stay, I mean, I'd like to, are you really sure?' He nods, tugging on the tie of her shirt, 'I'm certain.'

People are sat around the dining table, eating eggs and bacon, when Steve and Amelia finally appear, she's holding his hand and giggling at him. Everyone cheers and they both halt, looking embarrassed. Steve is red in the face and Bucky shakes his head at them. Amelia looks at him apologetically and then jokes 'oh, eggs, your favourite, Steve.'

Ben looks excited 'I bet you eat them Rocky style, raw and in a glass?' Steve just smiles politely, his phone lightly vibrates, he cusses Tony for bothering him again and ignoring it, he pushes it back in his pocket and proceeds to eat. Amelia smiles and waves at Ewan, Rosie calls to her, 'mamma, you were very noisy this morning, we could hear you yawning.' Someone whistles and Amelia blushes, 'I was very tired, hence I slept-in, thank you everyone for allowing me that,' she eyes the adults and they all look knowingly at her. 'So, what do you think of Stars Hollow?' Ben asks Bucky, the soldier looks confused and Mel drops her fork, pointing at Ben, 'I knew it, I knew you enjoyed it.' Ben speaks with a mouthful of food, 'you made me watch it, but I certainly didn't enjoy it, I won't accept that.' Peter smiles at them, 'I know the one, Mia has the tapes in her bedroom, if you want to borrow them Ben? You're more than welcome.' Amelia looks mortified at the mention of her childish room, 'dad!'

Steve's phone rings again and he pulls it out, looking at the screen, he relents and apologises, leaving the table with a squeeze to Amelia's shoulder. Mel looks at her with a dreamy face and Amelia happily munches her eggs. Andi looks a bit peaky and she hasn't eaten much, 'you ok, sis?' Amelia asks. Andi's cheeks fill and she darts off from the table. Someone cheers and Peter shakes his head, 'at least she kept it down during last night.' Amelia smiles at her dad and Dana, 'last night was amazing, it was so perfect.' Everyone agrees, Ben calls to her, 'seems like your morning was amazing as well?' Amelia ignores him, 'Rosalyn, I can see you, eat your own breakfast please, not Ty's.' Ben looks around at the unfinished meals and empty chairs, 'think I can eat Andi's bacon?' Mel tells him off and passes him the baby.

People resume eating and they look up expecting Andi at the door, but a solemn Steve stands there. Amelia panics, 'Steve, what's wrong?' He looks past them and grabs his cost from the closet under the stairs. Walking outside and ignoring their questions. Amelia half stands and Bucky stops her, 'I'll go.' He grabs his own coat and follows the direction Steve went it. Ben looks around the room, 'is he alright?' Rosie senses the tension and starts repeatedly calling to her mom. Ben and Mel look anxious and start to leave, Peter stopping them, 'don't be silly, finish your breakfast, I'm sure it's just work.' Andi comes back in to the room and everyone looks at her sadly, 'what the hell did I miss?'

Bucky strolls into the kitchen, spotting Steve outside, pulling on his jacket and opening the patio door. Steve's stood alone in the middle of the lawn, Bucky walks up beside him and stops, staring out across the yard in the same manner as his best friend. 'What's going on?' Steve doesn't say anything and continues to look ahead, 'Steve?' Bucky probes more forcefully. 'It's Peggy,' Steve mutters, he looks down to the phone in his hand. 'That was Sharon.' Bucky's features crease, 'shit, Steve, when?' Steve coughs and still looking away from his friend, 'last night, in her sleep.' Bucky looks up at the sky sadly, 'what now?' Steve's tone is cold and formal, 'funeral is next week, probably.' He looks back at the house, 'we need to get back to New York,' he stalks away, with no further words. Bucky watches him leave, unsure of what to say or do.

Amelia leaves the dining room and heads for the kitchen, watching them through the window. She bites her thumb nail, concerned about Steve. Andi comes in, also staring out the window 'so, he took a call and then went strong silent type? Who was it?' Amelia shakes her head, focused on the men on their lawn. Bucky looks like he is doing most of the talking and Amelia considers going out there. Steve turns back to the house and Amelia acts like she was washing up, not spying on him. As he steps through, he looks at her and sighs, turning away and walking out of the room, heading for the stairs. Rosie runs out and asks him a question, but he blanks her. Bucky follows through the back door and closes it softly.

The women look at him expectantly, he takes a ragged breath, running an anxious hand through his hair. 'The phone call was Sharon Carter, it's Peggy.' Amelia gasps and covers her mouth. 'She went in her sleep last night.' Andi steps close to Bucky, 'oh shit, that's awful, I'm so sorry, Bucky. Poor, poor Steve.'

Amelia stares after Steve, unsure what to say or do. She watches Andi embrace Bucky and secretly envies the closeness, it feels strange that Bucky

is the one allowing it. She looks towards the stairs and considers going after Steve. 'Leave him,' Bucky says surely. 'He's packing, we need to head back a little earlier, that going to be a problem?' Amelia is silent and Andi jumps in, 'no of course not, we were heading back today anyway.' Amelia stutters thinking they were going to stay a little longer, but picturing his warm smile this morning makes her stomach churn.

'I umm, need to tell the others, they know something is up.' Amelia numbly leaves the room and walks to her family, everyone looks up at her expectantly, 'a very close friend of Steve's has passed away suddenly, we are going to pack up and make a move a little sooner than expected.' Everyone stares at her and Dana stands, rushing to her, 'I'm fine. I just need to pack.' She backs up, waving her hands, 'I'm just going to… get sorted. Can you?' She nods to Rosie before leaving the room quickly. She can hear Ben offering to take the kids outside and Mel helping clear up, she can hear her dad muttering about what a shame it is, but as she climbs the stairs she can only hear silence.

When Amelia reaches her bedroom, it is like Steve was never there, she thinks about going to his room, but instead silently starts packing up her stuff. Andi eventually joins her and they share very few words. 'You ok?' Amelia nods and sniffs, acutely aware, this is not about her. 'I only met her once, why is this so hard?' Andi sighs, folding clothes, 'because you are a good person and the man you love is torn apart by it, of course it's hard. But he will be ok, don't worry.'

By early afternoon they are preparing to leave. Standing on the porch, Amelia hugs her dad goodbye, 'I'm sorry it ended like this, seems like such a sad way to go. Especially after such a magical night.' Peter looks at Amelia sympathetically and then glances at Steve, who is quietly packing the car. 'He will be fine, just give him time, it's obviously a shock.' Amelia hugs her dad, 'come back soon, kid, yeah? Not so long next time, feels good having all my girls here.' Amelia steps away, grabbing her travel bag.

Dana walks over to Steve and comments how sorry they are for his loss, she leans in to hug him but he stiffens and merely allows her to hold him.

Peter walks across to Bucky, stopping beside him, 'shame about that walk, son, but another time. You are welcome here anytime. The air is good for the mind, trust me.' Bucky looks at him slowly, surprised by the genuine offer. 'Look after your buddy, I think he will need you,' Peter nods at Steve and Bucky is surprised by the surge of protectiveness he feels. He realises that he now needs to be there for Steve, tables have turned and he needs to step up. Peter gently pats his shoulder and speaks 'you're a good guy, Bucky. Thank you for all your help this week, see you soon, yeah?'

Bucky observes Steve, quietly, he hasn't seen him like this for a long time.

Amelia says goodbye to Dana, 'I made you some sandwiches, sweetie, make sure he eats, there's some chips and some drinks as well.' Amelia wells up at the gesture, 'I'm so sorry, we should be celebrating and now this, we will come back, when things calm down, thank you for everything.' She gives her a quick hug, 'see you soon.' She turns and timidly walks over to Steve, 'you all set?' She asks gently, he nods, slamming the car door and sitting in the driver's seat.

Amelia watches him through the window, but is distracted by Rosie running up to her. Amelia buckles her in the back seat, she's singing and tapping her feet against the back of Steve's chair. Andi says goodbye to her father and then tells Bucky, 'you sit up front, I think he needs it.' She squeezes in the middle of the back of the car and says to Rosie 'well, this will be fun.' Bucky joins them in the car and he looks around, checking everyone is seated. Amelia looks out the window sadly and Rosie continues to sing happily. 'Rosalyn!' Steve suddenly shouts sternly, 'please stop kicking my chair.' Everyone looks surprised and Rosie stops immediately, tearing up and looking at Andi. She strokes her niece's hair and reassures her. Andi looks out the window and mumbles, 'wave, everyone. We are being watched.' Everyone but Steve waves and smiles at Peter and Dana. Steve starts the engine and the dust of the driveway blows into the wind as they pull off and head back to the city.

Half way home, Amelia turns to her sister, 'quit whining, Steve will stop at the next place, happy?' They've driven mainly silence, Andi gradually asking more frequently about a bathroom break. Steve hasn't spoken a word. Bucky looks towards his friend, 'maybe pull in here?' he offers, nodding to a rest stop. Steve huffs and indicates, mutely agreeing. 'Thank you! Thank you! Andi praises in the back seat. As Steve parks, Andi is leaping out before he's even fully shut off the engine, 'anyone want anything?' There's silence from the front and then Amelia passes her Rosie's cup, 'fill this up, will you.' Andi nods, 'Bucky, you coming?' He doesn't look round, 'nah, I'm good.' Again she asks more forcefully, 'Bucky, are you coming?' He looks over at her and spots her raised brows and realises it's not a question, 'yeah, could do with a stretch.' He climbs out and Amelia scoffs at their subtlety. Andi closes the door forcefully and runs off, Bucky strolling behind her. Amelia winces that the loud bang might wake the four-year-old beside her, but miraculously, it doesn't.

Amelia stares out the window and wonders if she should speak, she chances a look at Steve and he is poised at the wheel ready to leave, staring directly ahead. Amelia swallows and asks quietly, 'you ok?' Steve doesn't respond and she unbuckles, shuffling closer, 'I'm so sorry about Peggy, Steve.' He flinches a little at the mention of her name and Amelia offers her hand between the two front seats. His head flicks towards her open palm, but he refocuses on the front window. Amelia slowly pulls it back, realising he doesn't want that right now.

Slouching back in her seat, she knocks Rosie, who begins to grumble. Amelia turns to her, 'hey, little girl.' Rosie wipes her eyes, 'are we home?' Amelia smiles at her sleepy, small voice, pushing her curls away from her eyes, 'not yet, nearly.' Rosie's eyes drop closed and Amelia asks, 'you still sleepy?' Rosie nods silently, 'why don't you sleep a little more and when you wake up we will be at home.' Rosie smiles, 'Tony's tower?' Amelia chuckles, 'maybe, or our new home, remember?' Rosie shuffles, 'where's Stevie?' Amelia's eyes flicker to Steve and he remains still, 'he's right there, but he's just resting his eyes right now. Hey, why don't I close my eyes with you and we can both go to sleep?' Rosie smiles happily, patting her mother's cheek, as they both quietly relax and drift off.

Steve watches them in the mirror, quickly looking away as he spots Andi and Bucky returning.

It's late when they arrive back at the tower. Steve has said next to nothing all the way back and Amelia is worried. Once they park up, he gets out of the car, chucking the keys at Bucky and stalking off, without a glance for the other passengers. Bucky watches him go and when Amelia lifts Rosie from the car, she can see Steve's retreating form. Andi stretches, yawning and pulling her ear buds out. 'What we doing? Staying here tonight? It's getting late.' Amelia sighs, she woke Rosie ten minutes before arriving and already she is drifting asleep on her feet. Bucky nudges Andi's arm, 'stay, moving can wait until tomorrow.' Amelia is reluctant, she doesn't think Steve wants her around.

Amelia steps into Steve's room, but he is nowhere to be seen. She sits on the bed and waits for twenty minutes, eventually giving up. Once she is changed for bed, she returns from the bathroom and finds the room empty, the bed made and still no Steve. She sags and climbs into bed, she sticks to her side and worries where he is. Amelia sleeps lightly and wakes early, packing and getting ready to leave. She makes the bed the best she can, almost pretending she was never there.

She walks into the hallway, carrying her bags, making a pile beside the elevator. She comes across Bucky and he looks at her. 'Have you seen Steve?' She asks quietly. He just shakes his head, offering breakfast. Amelia resigns herself and says, 'well, I'm nearly ready, is she up?' He chuckles and says 'not even close.' Amelia huffs, she points to his door and Bucky confirms with a nod. As they begin to walk in, Andi opens it and to their surprise she is up, dressed and drinking coffee. Amelia mutters 'thank God' turning to Bucky, she asks, 'do you know what the plan is? When's the funeral?' All three are stood in the hallway, talking lowly. He rubs his neck, 'umm next week, in London.' Amelia takes a deep breath, 'well, we will be there, I'm not sure how, but we will make it work, we want to be there for you.' Andi nods, rubbing Bucky's back. Bucky thinks about denying them, but responds, 'thanks, that means a lot.' Andi asks about Steve and Bucky shrugs, Amelia explains 'he didn't sleep in his room.' The implication of her words, are clear and unspoken. She slept alone and Steve is nowhere to be seen. Andi hums, 'ummm well, I'm sure he's fine, just struggling, maybe needed some space, let's get a move on, shall we?'

Ten minutes later, Andi has added her bags to the pile and Amelia is holding Rosie, she's still sleepy and mumbling to her mother. In the hallway, Amelia stops and looks at Steve's room, wondering if he is back yet. Rosie asks 'where is Stevie? Is he coming with us?' Amelia rests her head, on top of Rosie's and says 'Steve isn't feeling well, so I think it will just be us for now. BUT, just think, soon you will be in your new room, what colour shall we paint it?' Rosie smiles and closes her eyes on Amelia's shoulder, whispering 'blue.' Assembling outside the elevator, Bucky starts lifting bags in and Amelia looks around sadly, one last time, hoping to see Steve. 'That everything?' Andi asks, Amelia agrees solemnly, looking back towards the apartments.

Steve is sat in a spare room down the hall, he hears Rosie and Amelia chatting and his chest tightens. He wants to go to them, but he feels like he can't be that guy right now, he needs time.

Three days later, the girls are still unpacking at their new place and Amelia has heard nothing from Steve. Bucky tells her he has been working and this makes Amelia feels a little better. Bucky has been over almost every night, eating dinner with them and building furniture. He gives Amelia a piece paper with the details of the flight out to London, she asks 'does he know we are coming?' Bucky plays it cool, 'yeah, of course.' Amelia asks how he is and Bucky explains, 'I've really barely seen him, Mia, he's working, but I think he's struggling.' She watches as he resumes building a set of drawers with her sister.

Amelia arrives at the tower, later that week to collect Rosie and Andi. She looks around the lobby, nervously, swallowing deeply. She brushes her hair with her fingers and feels her phone vibrate against her hip. Rummaging for it in her pocket, she looks down seeing a message from her sister. Come up, we are with Bucky x Amelia sighs and wonders if it is a set-up, is poor grieving Steve going to be forced to interact with her. Part of her is hopeful she will see him, but she's trying her best to give him space and the distance he seems to want. Amelia puts her phone away and checks her bag for something, anxiously heading for the front desk and waiting with baited breath.

When the elevator pings open, Amelia steps out, the communal area is silent, the lighting is dim and she wonders where everyone is. If it was March, she'd think this was a surprise birthday party, it's eerily quiet. She looks around for her sister and daughter, but nothing. Deciding to wait, she places her bag down and props on the end of the couch, uncomfortably. She jumps up when she hears a noise and peeks down the hall. She takes a deep breath and decides to give it a go. She reaches into her bag, grabbing a white envelope and gently creeping down the hallway, stopping beside Steve's door. Amelia lifts her hand and then drops it, considering that he may not want to be disturbed. She coughs, hoping that might illicit a reaction, but nothing.

'Steve?' She calls softly. She looks around, checking no one can hear her. There's no response and she knocks very quietly, calling his name again. She looks up at the sound of movement and closes her eyes, trying to figure out what she wants to say. 'Look, umm, I just want you to know that we are here, I know this must be so hard for you. So, so hard, but I will wait and do whatever you need me to.' She places a splayed hand against the white wood, closing her eyes, 'I'll wait for you.' She looks down at the envelope and mutters, 'I love you.' She begins to bend, intending to slide the envelope under the door, when the handle wobbles and the door opens. Amelia looks up in shock, coming face to face with a janitor. She blushes furiously and looks over his shoulder. He eyes her visitor's lanyard and then looks back to her face in confusion. Amelia giggles awkwardly, 'umm, sorry, I thought you were someone else.' Her eyes flick around the room and the man steps out, closing the door and carrying a step ladder. 'No, just changing a light.' The man pushes past her and leaves, looking back at her and mumbling something that sounds a lot like groupie. Amelia exhales in embarrassment and finally bends quickly and slides the envelope beneath the door, before she can change her mind. She hurries away from the row of white doors, not stopping to look back. Reaching the empty lounge and once again wondering where her family is.

'Well that was embarrassing.' Amelia jumps at the raspy, feminine voice. Turning and spotting Natasha, 'shit! Don't do that!' She clutches her chest, staring at the red head with wide eyes. 'He's not here and I don't know how he will feel when I tell him you're in love with the maintenance guy.' Amelia looks down, her face flushing pink. 'I thought he was in there, I heard something.' Amelia justifies, 'I'm not sure what he's thinking about anything, at this point. How is he?' Natasha softens, looking Amelia in the eye, 'not great, but hanging in there. He's off with Barton, very keen to get away wherever possible.' Amelia nods, trying to ignore the hurt in her stomach, 'I phoned a couple times, but I haven't heard back.' Natasha doesn't even lie to protect her feelings, she just nods, 'where's that sweet little girl of yours?' Natasha folds her arms smirking and Amelia smiles, surprised by the kind comment. Suddenly she has an idea, 'actually, you might be able to help me with something, swear you will say no if you're not interested…'

Steve skulks in later that night, ignoring Natasha calling to him from the couch. He unlocks his door and steps through, hitting the light switch and sighing at the new bulb. He hears a crunch and slips slightly, standing on something. Looking down he spies a white envelope. He cusses at the boot print and bends to pick it up. The front is blank and he tears into it, thoughtlessly. Steve pauses at the words, with sympathy on the front and the single flower decal. He stops before opening it and considers just throwing it in the trash.

Dear Steve,

We are so sorry for your loss, know we are thinking of you and love you. We are here, whatever you need, we will wait for you. Look after yourself.

All our love,

Amelia, Andi and Rosie x

Steve stares at the hand-written message, sliding his jaw anxiously side to side. He rubs a thumb gently over Rosie's scribbled signature and Amelia's kisses. He wonders when they were here and closes the card, reaching for his phone. Staring at the screen he can only think of the two missed calls in Maine. Missing Sharon's calls, instead laughing and having fun with Amelia. He sees the two unopened voicemails from her and then a message from Bucky, asking if he's up to dinner with everyone. Steve shoves his phone away and puts the card on a shelf, face down, walking further into his room, forgetting the dinner invitation and Amelia.

Very early Monday morning, Amelia and Andi pull up at the tower. It's over a week since Amelia's seen Steve, she messages him frequently, just letting him know they are there for him, but she never gets a response. Bucky assures her he has been working and she trusts him, but in her gut, something isn't right.

Rosie hops out of the car, she has a backpack on and she's bright and happy. 'I can't wait to see Stevie.' Amelia smiles, but she's desperately concerned about Steve's reaction to seeing them. When the elevator opens, Natasha is stood there, smirking.

'You're sure you want to do this?' Amelia asks nervously, tugging Rosie with her. Natasha nods and holds out a hand to the little girl. With no regard for her mother, Rosie runs to Natasha and grabs hold, chanting 'Tasha, Tasha!' Amelia talks through what she has packed for the two days and Bucky appears. He smiles at the arrivals and kisses Andi's cheek. She whispers to him, subtly 'you ok? Is he here?' Bucky nods. Tony walks in and he drops a bag by the elevator. Andi looks up at him in surprise, 'you're coming?' Tony looks offended, 'Auntie Peg would be ashamed if I didn't.' He adds quietly 'and so would my mother.'

Natasha interrupts Amelia's list, 'it's fine, I got it, eat, sleep, play, repeat. Easy!' Another door sounds and everyone looks down the hall, Steve comes out, already dressed in his suit and looking down at his cuffs. He double takes at the group, then trains his eyes to the floor and stalking for the lift. He stops beside them all and presses the button, avoiding eye contact. Amelia watches him, his name falling away from her lips. He looks sad and so quiet, like a shadow of himself. Rosie squeals, 'Stevie!' Amelia reaches to intercept her, but it's too late and she is clinging to Steve's leg. Andi winces and pries her off. He looks down and offers a small smile, one that doesn't reach his eyes and no words. The doors open and as people load in Amelia bends to kiss Rosie goodbye, 'be good for Natasha, she's doing mommy a big favour. I'll be back tomorrow, before you know it. I packed you some treats, share with Tasha! Mr Goose is in your bag, ok?' Rosie giggles, looking at Natasha not her mom. 'Bye! Love you!' Amelia stands and gives Natasha one final nod, 'sure?' She doesn't respond just calls the small brunette to follow her. Rosie waves at them all as the door closes, but Steve just stares at the floor.

Andi walks around the private jet, 'Christ, this is amazing, you actually own a jet?' She asks Tony. 'Three actually.' She looks at him, 'can I have one?' He laughs, 'nice try, kid, now sit down and strap in.' Amelia sits opposite Steve and she tries not watch him but she can't stop herself. Bucky keeps an eye on them from his side of the plane and Andi whispers to him, 'this is weird, I prefer them as love sick teenagers.'

Tony chats as the plane pulls away, 'ever been to London?' He asks the women. Amelia simply shakes her head and Andi says 'no, not sure what to expect.' Tony explains, 'know it alls, they just sound smart. Couple of sights worth seeing, though.' Steve grits his teeth, 'it's not a holiday, Tony.' Everyone looks up, surprised that he's speaking. Amelia leans in, reaching for his knee, 'hey, are you ok?' He looks at her and then looks out of the window, ignoring the question. Amelia pulls back, 'hopefully the weather will be nice, Peggy deserves that.' Steve looks up bitterly, muttering, 'don't act like you knew her, Amelia.' Everyone can feel the tension and Bucky warns, 'Steve...' Amelia puts a hand up, 'it's fine, Bucky.' Steve lets out a loud breath and gets up, leaving their section. Amelia follows him with her eyes and wonders just how big this jet is. She looks down at her hands, trying not to take it personally.

Four hours in, Amelia is sat opposite Tony and Andi is sleeping against her shoulder. 'Right, what about, Def Leopard?' Tony questions, Amelia smiles, 'Pour Some Sugar, obviously.' Tony has been quizzing her about her favourite rock songs for the last ten minutes. She welcomes the distraction, but is trying to remain considerate, she doesn't want it to sound like they are at a karaoke bar. 'Boston?' Tony asks. Amelia considers this, 'A Man I'll Never Be.' Tony nods, impressed and then looks over her shoulder. 'That seems apt, right about now.' She doesn't follow his eye-line and shifts beneath her sister. 'Motley Crue?' Amelia smiles to herself, 'Home Sweet Home.'

Bucky is stood at the back of the cabin with Steve, looking over at the girls and Tony. He is trying to find the right words, 'look, are you ok?' Steve nods mutely, Bucky looks at him, 'it was good of them to come, let Amelia in, she just wants to help you, be there for you.' Steve tilts his head sceptically at Bucky, remaining silent. He then looks back to the bar, where he's pouring an orange juice, 'thanks for the emotional support, Buck, but I'm fine.' He looks past his friend, spotting Tony and Amelia, she has a small smile on her face, as she absentmindedly strokes her sleeping sister's hair. Steve swallows and grits his teeth, Bucky thinks he might say something, but he doesn't. Eventually he just shuffles away, finding a seat down the far end, staring out the window. Bucky sighs and returns to sit beside Tony, thinking it comes to something when he would rather sit beside a Stark.

Once they arrive in London, it's raining. They take a black car to the hotel and Tony swans to the reception desk. The clerk stares, open mouthed and Tony announces 'Stark, should be four suites booked.' The clerk nods quickly and wordlessly, stunned by the billionaire's presence. He clicks and types nervously, 'umm, just one suite actually for yourself, sir. I have two standard rooms under S. Rogers and .'

Tony smirks, turning to the two men, 'ok, which one of you slept with and didn't call Pepper's PA? She's obviously pissed.' Bucky looks confused and Steve sighs loudly, looking at the ground despondently. Tony turns to the sisters 'you must be bunking with the grandpas then, girls?' The clerk interrupts, 'actually, 'they are both single rooms and no guests are listed.' Tony snorts at the situation, Steve remains silent and Amelia steps forward, 'that's fine, do you have a twin or two singles available please? We don't need a suite.'

Fortunately, the hotel can help and Steve huffs, walking away while Amelia settles things. Bucky follows and sits opposite him in a leather arm chair. 'I thought you sorted the rooms, didn't you tell Pepper about the girls?' Steve ignores him. Bucky sighs, leaning across to his friend, 'what is going on, Steve? I know this is hard for you, but she is here, don't ignore the poor girl.' Steve looks up perplexed, asking 'who?' Bucky chuckles, 'even you are not that blind, Steve. I am talking about Amelia.' Steve quickly looks over and she is leaning on the desk, signing paperwork. He catches Tony beckoning them back as the clerk disseminates key cards.

Andi and Amelia are on a floor below the men and they step out of the elevator before the rest. Amelia spares a look for Steve and once again, his eyes are trained on anything but her. Andi pulls her arm silently. 'We will see you lot at twelve in the lobby.' The doors close and Tony asks Steve, 'what the hell is going on there? As far as I can see they did a nice thing, coming here, supporting you, and what? You are ignoring her?' Steve sighs and closes his eyes. Bucky looks at Steve from under his eyebrows and for once, he agrees with Tony.

In their room, Andi and Amelia are getting ready, Amelia is sat on the bed, she has a black shift dress on with black heels, her hair is curled and she has a cream mac over her arm. Andi is still fixing her outfit, she has a black, long sleeved dress on and stops, looking at Amelia. 'Are you alright?' She asks sincerely. The tone catches Amelia off guard and when she looks up, her eyes are sparkling with unshed tears.

'He won't even speak to me. A week ago, for a moment, I almost thought we were engaged? And now, he can barely say my name. I'm so worried about him, he's not coping, I know he's not. I want to be there but…' Amelia looks at her feet and Andi sits beside her on the bed. 'I'm sure he will come around, get today over with and he will warm up, wait and see.' Amelia looks at her and Andi swipes a makeup stained teardrop from Amelia's cheek. 'We better go,' Andi stands, pulling her coat on, Amelia takes a decisive breath and pull herself up, nodding at her sister.

They meet the other three in the lobby and Andi crosses over to hold Bucky's hand, greeting him, 'you look smart.' Amelia watches them, feeling a little lost and like a spare part. Steve is stood close to the door, waiting for the car and she decides to leave him. Tony comes up to her and whispers, 'you can always hold my hand.' The comment is lewd, but when she looks up, he looks concerned. 'I'm fine, but I'll bear it in mind, thank you.' Their car pulls up outside and Steve tilts his head towards the four of them, urging them to hurry up. Steve climbs in and Bucky helps Andi, Tony offers Amelia his hand and she smiles gratefully.

Meeting Steve's eye once inside, he quickly looks out the window. Bucky leans in and whispers to her, 'it's not you.' She smiles sadly, but it's becoming more and more apparent to Amelia, it can only be her. Amelia's phone chirps and Andi asks if it is Rosie, Amelia nods and thinking about home and her little girl's embrace, makes her feel weepy. Bucky nods, 'she'll be fine, Natasha won't let anyone touch a hair on her head.' Amelia smiles, 'I just feel bad leaving her.' Steve coughs, piping up, 'no one asked you to come, Amelia.' She looks at him in shock and feels like she's been slapped. Bucky frowns at Steve and squeezes Andi's hand to reassure her, that he wants them there. Tony shakes his head to Amelia, 'ignore Captain downer, it's a tough day.' Amelia slips her phone away and relaxes in her chair, feeling anything but. The ride is tense, Amelia looks at her black patent shoes and tries to keep her cool, all voices in her head screaming jump out now. Steve's words replay in her head and she wonders why she did come.

When they arrive at the church, Amelia immediately spots Sharon at the church doors. The rain has subsided and there are lots of attendees, many older people. Lots in uniform, many in wheelchairs and other's accompanied by carers. It dawns on her this is the age Steve should be, no wonder this is so hard for him.

Andi looks at Bucky, 'you ok about this? Lots of faces from the past?' He nods, but inside he's deeply nervous, 'yeah, let's go.' He steps out of the car, followed closely by Andi, she looks back to check her sister is ok. When Amelia looks up, Steve has also left and she can see him through the window, walking up to Sharon. They hug and Amelia feels sad for them both. Tony remains sat in the car with her, his voice catching her attention. 'You know he doesn't mean that, he's glad you are here, he just can't see past all this right now, but he will. I didn't see or notice Pepper for years and when I opened my eyes, I regretted all that time I missed out on. Rogers is way more of a romantic sap, he won't make that same mistake.' Amelia smiles sadly, 'thank you for being kind, but this isn't about me. Let's go,' she starts to exit the car and he sighs, following closely.

Bucky stands outside the church, looking around, hands shoved in his pockets. Andi has an umbrella over her head, reaching a palm out, 'is it raining? I can't tell. It's rained since we got here.' Bucky scuffs the wet concrete with his shoe and looks about anxiously. He spots three older men and swallows awkwardly. Deciding he knows them and maybe he should go over, he leans in their direction. Andi follows his eye line, 'you ok? Friends of yours?' Bucky nods, muttering, 'once upon a time.' Andi softens, 'go, I'll wait here, give me the signal if you need me, ok?' Bucky straightens tugging at his suit, 'wait, what's the signal?' Andi grins, 'commando, remember?' Bucky sighs, laughing a little, 'that will cause a stir.' She watches him leave, as he meanders puddles, hands still in his pant pockets.

Bucky stops opposite the three older men, easily recognising Dugan, Jones and Falsworth. They are all so much older than he could have pictured, frail and grey haired. Dugan is in a wheelchair, but his staple hat is a giveaway and what Bucky initially spotted in the crowd. Jones is sat on a bench beside a younger woman, who shares his eyes and Falsworth is propped up with a walking frame, escorted by a middle-aged lady.

Bucky stands before them, unsure of what to say or how to begin. Dugan takes the pressure off, 'for a guy who fell off a train, you look pretty damn good.' Bucky can't help it and finds himself smirking, nodding, commenting 'nice hat.' Dugan tips his head, 'got to look my best. How the hell are you, Barnes?' Bucky fidgets on the spot, coughing awkwardly, 'yeah, not bad.'

Jones looks the youthful Bucky up and down, 'do I look that good?' He asks in confusion, Falsworth jokes, 'you never looked that good.' The elderly Englishman looks at Bucky, slowly offering his hand to shake, 'Sargent Barnes.' Bucky stares at the outstretched palm and slowly drags his hands from his pockets, awkwardly tugging at his black gloves. He gradually shakes his old comrade's hand, gently placing his metal fingers atop. Falsworth nods, impressed, 'that's some hand shake,' he smirks. Jones taps his leg with a walking cane, causing a metal knock, 'happens to the best of us, son.' Bucky smiles, but internally winces at the word son, they should be the same age, they are the same age.

Dugan relaxes in his chair, 'living the life of riley now, I hear?' Bucky shrugs, 'I guess so, beats Hydra.' The three men chuckle, mixed with coughs and gasps for air.

The rain begins to spit lightly and Falsworth looks to the sky, 'Great British weather, hey?' Bucky agrees, 'the last time we were in London, we looked a lot different, well except you, Barnes,' Jones jests. He coughs and pats the knee of the young girl beside him, she looks to be in her mid-twenties. 'Have you met my granddaughter, Angelica? She's single.' Bucky's eyes widen and he blushes, scratching his neck, pulling at his collar, 'actually…' He's not sure how to explain Andi, but Angelica interrupts and saves him. 'Grandad, can you not? I'm not single, Jason and I have been together for three years. But it's nice to meet you.' Jones rolls his eyes, 'mores the pity, he's a waste of space.'

They fall into silence and Falsworth pensively adds, 'I thought Peggy would outlive us all, invincible.' Dugan coughs 'here, here.' Bucky looks around the churchyard, many old veterans entering the church. 'That's what it's like now, Barnes. A game of dominoes, who will fall next,' Dugan explains. Bucky doesn't know what to say to that. Jones points with his cane, 'the ghost of Howard Stark is here, I see.' He jokes, pointing to Tony, 'look lively, chaps.' Falsworth calls to him, 'is that a joke? I've not looked lively for maybe twenty years!'

'Where's Rogers?' Dugan asks, Bucky looks around, failing to spot him, simply answering 'somewhere.' Jones grins, 'you say about the last time we were here, but we did have some fun on our European tour.' Angelica groans 'ughh gross, grandad, stop, what would nana say?' The young woman stands and checking her bag for something, Jones tuts and comments, 'kids, hey? Bucky just raises his brows in agreement. 'Do you have that pack of tissues?' She asks her grandfather, 'yes, in my pocket, no, in the car, wait, no, yes in my pocket.' Angelica rummages in his suit pocket, digging out the tissues, taking some for her own bag. Jones looks at Bucky 'she's meant to look after me! Not steal my goods.'

'We should get in there…' Falsworth suggests, Bucky agrees and bids them a gentle goodbye. Looking around for Andi, she strolls over, gripping the umbrella, 'starting to come down heavy now, you ready?'

Tony escorts Amelia into the church and they slide into a pew. Tony gets accosted and stands to chat with someone, Amelia looks to the back and can see Steve waiting with the pallbearers. Andi and Bucky slide past her, sitting further down the row. Amelia looks down at her shoes, wishing this wasn't happening for everyone, especially for Steve's sake.

Amelia smiles warmly at Bucky, he looks a little harassed, warm in the face and damp hair. Tony finds his seat on her left and Amelia looks at the empty bench beside her, wondering if Steve will be able to bring himself to sit with her.

The music begins, prompting people to stand and Amelia watches the procession. She wipes her eyes discretely, she feels emotional, but wants to try her best to keep it together. Tony sniffs subtly beside her, looking forward and focusing on the front. Amelia reaches for his hand and squeezes it. She then looks down at the order of service, Peggy's beautiful face on the front. She wants to be there for Steve, check he's ok, support him, but she can't when he won't let her in, she can't imagine how he feels.

She can see Sharon opposite them and offers a sympathetic smile, as they make eye contact. Steve retreats to the pew and slides in next to her. His eyes are red rimmed, his face pale.

When Sharon takes to the front to talk about her Auntie Peggy, Steve slips a hand into Amelia's and she tries her best to look forward. She holds it tightly, encasing his hand and linking their fingers, squeezing him gently, but when Sharon finishes, he shakes loose from her. Amelia misses his warmth, casting a look down the row, she can see Bucky looking serious and Andi reading the running order. Amelia stares at the picture of Peggy at the front. She's glad she got to meet her, she can see why Steve fell in love with her and looking around the room, he wasn't the only one. Tony coughs beside Amelia and she rubs a knuckle down his arm, offering a weak smile.

The service ends and once again, Steve assists, leaving with the procession. Amelia hangs back, thinking she might skip the cemetery.

She sits in the church, in the same pew and stares at Peggy's picture. The church is quiet now, like a hollow shell, the front doors are open and rain can be heard hitting the flagstones harshly. She thinks about Steve and how he is feeling, if she made the right decision to stay behind, or even to come in the first place.

The sound of heels on the tiled floor catches her attention and she waits with baited breath, until her sister sits down beside her and Amelia relaxes.

'You ok? Why didn't you come out?' Andi asks her sadly. Amelia nods quickly, 'not sure it was what Steve needed. Probably best it was just her loved ones.' Andi offers a weak small smile, 'we need to get a taxi, I told them to head on. And surprise-surprise, it's still raining.' Amelia agrees and as her sister starts to stand, she grabs her hand and squeezes it. 'This was hard,' Amelia's voice cracks and she quickly looks up, blowing and willing the tears away, 'poor Steve, he must be finding this so difficult. Was he ok?' Andi sits back down, pulling her into a hug, 'he's doing ok, doing his best, just hang in there. Seems like she was quite something?' Amelia nods, physically shaking tears away, 'yeah, definitely.'

AN:

Quite a sad time for everyone here, very upsetting. Also, if you watch the Avengers Assemble deleted scenes, you will notice that Falsworth is no longer alive, but I'd already written the above and so I stuck with it. So apologies!

Thanks for reading, following, messages and comments etc. It's really nice to hear what you think.

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